Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ She's What!?! ( Chapter 38 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"N-nani?" Nabiki asked in a tiny, quivering voice, "Y-you mean…?"

"She's pregnant," Doctor Tofu replied, making a show of taking off his glasses to clean them because, in his experience, that was the sort of thing you did to assure your clients that this was a simple, routine, everyday sort of matter that doctors in his position had been dealing with since before there were doctors, "Most definitely, although I could run more tests if you want further confirmation."

"But…but…but…" Nabiki stammered, for the first time in her life struck totally inarticulate and speechless. How could she possibly explain to him the truth about her situation, that she was really a woman trapped in a man's body who had only reluctantly agreed to accept Shampoo as her wife to keep an old mummy at bay while attempting to appease some ancient tribal law that hardly anyone outside of Joketsuzoku had even heard about. This was like her worst nightmare, and about to go public!

"Now, Tendo-san," Tofu continued in his annoyingly reassuring manner, "I know this must come as something of a surprise being a newly wed couple. Not everyone is fortunate enough to conceive a child so early in their relationship, but despite the bride's youth she seems fully capable of carrying a child to full term with no complications. I would prescribe a healthy diet and limited exercise, of course, but there is no reason your wife cannot enjoy the next six or seven months in a normal, everyday manner."

"Six or seven months?" Nabiki said faintly, feeling the room as it began to swim around her.

Suddenly she found Doctor Tofu helping her to sit down on some chairs. It was about that point that Nabiki belatedly remembered that he was in male form, which was larger and heavier than his natural shape.

"Take it easy and breath deep," Tofu urged her professionally, "I'm sorry if all of this came as such a surprise. Surely you must have guessed from the signs she says that she has been giving off lately, irregularity in diet and sleep pattern, odd cravings, nausea, dizziness…"

"N-no," Nabiki said, "She never even told me she was having problems eating and sleeping…"

"Hardly surprising," another voice remarked, "Amazons are trained to ignore such minor discomforts or show any sign of weakness before others. In my Great Granddaughter's case she was probably trying not to upset you or be a burden."

Nabiki was not entirely certain why, but somehow finding Cologne at the doorway leading to Doctor Tofu's office clinic was comforting, as though the irritation she caused gave Nabiki a needed focus, "And just how long have you known about this, Elder?"

"Longer than you, obviously," Cologne seemed genuinely amused as she hobbled in on her staff as Doctor Tofu regarded her with open curiosity. She looked gravely at the tall man and said, "I am Shampoo's Maternal Great Grandmother and an Elder of her tribe. What is the condition of my daughter's daughter's child?"

"Strong enough to go home as soon as I prescribe her diet," Tofu said.

"I can do that for her," Cologne noted matter-of-factly, "But I will take your suggestions under advisement. Prepare a list and I will see to it Shampoo gets plenty of rest and exercise. That is, of course, if this meets with your approval, Son-in-law?"

"You're giving me a choice?" Nabiki asked.

"Of course," Cologne replied, "Shampoo is your wife and you have made it abundantly clear that her welfare is your concern, not mine. Of course the mere fact that I agreed to surrender custody does not mean that I have stopped caring about my beloved great granddaughter."

"Then I suppose I'll take your word under advisement," Nabiki replied, "Now explain to me why you and Shampoo kept this away from me until now."

"Shampoo is innocent of any dissembly, I assure you," Cologne replied, "The poor child might have suspected her condition, but I doubt very much she would as immediately recognize the symptoms of her pregnancy as I would. She is young in a great many ways and can hardly be blamed if she mistook her nausea as something bad she ate."

Just then Tofu's assistant came in and said, "Here are the medical charts you asked me to--GAAH!"

"Good day to you, Saotome-san," Cologne smiled as she turned around to regard the astonished Genma Saotome, "I see you're not feeling much like a Panda this afternoon, though I wonder at how the good doctor managed to convince you to work on a Sunday."

"Pops just wants to earn some extra spending cash to buy his wife a little present," Nabiki replied, then smiled as Genma looked at him accusingly.

"I see you all know one another," Tofu noted as he looked from one to the other in curious speculation before settling on Cologne, "So you are Cologne the Elder. I've heard something about you and the Amazons of Joketsuzoku. I've been looking forward to meeting you in person."

"That's a first," Nabiki muttered under his breath, but Cologne merely ignored him.

"Indeed," she said, "And I have heard a great deal about you, Tofu-Sensei," she bowed in respect, "The honor is mutual. I understand that you have been caring for my Son-in-law's family for a good many years, and you are a student of traditional methods."

"Merely a novice, Elder," Tofu bowed back, "But I'm always eager to learn new things about how other cultures treat their patients. I understand that you are something of a healer yourself…"

"Among my many other skills," Cologne replied, "It is good to meet a young man with prospects who respects the traditions of his ancestors. Too few young people do these days."

"Yes, it is very sad," Tofu replied, "Perhaps I can make some tea for you? Saotome…"

"Thank you but I am just visiting," Cologne said, "I should like to see my Great Granddaughter briefly, but first…may I have some privacy? There are things I wish to discuss with my son-in-law, if you would not mind leaving the two of us alone for a minute."

"Not at all," Tofu smiled, "I'll go tell your great granddaughter that you're here. Put the charts on the desk, Saotome, and make us some tea. I could use some about now if no one else could."

"Hot water," Genma replied as he turned around, muttering to himself, "Probably a very good idea…"

Once Tofu and Genma had withdrawn Nabiki allowed himself to glare at the ancient Amazon matriarch and said, "All right, you old ghoul, just what kind of a scam are you running here?"

"I have no idea whatsoever that you mean," Cologne replied with her most innocent (if the word could be found to describe it as that) expression, "I truly mean what I say about wishing you and Shampoo only the best. She really did not have a clue as to the nature of her condition, but I'm not surprised you did not pick up on it either. In spite of adopting a man's form you still think of yourself as a woman."

"But we only did it that one time!" Nabiki finally blurted out, perversely pleased that there was someone on hand with whom she could say the words without drawing a blank reaction.

"It appears one time was more than enough," Cologne said, not so much amused as sympathetic, "Tell me exactly what was going through your mind at the time that you thought to take advantage of her innocence and not face any consequences?"

"I-uh," Nabiki faltered, "Um…well…there wasn't a lot going through my mind that I could recall at the time…I just thought I'd had a little too much to drink, and Shampoo seemed willing and…and…"

She could not bring herself to continue. If a man truly had spoken those words she knew that she would have condemned him as an idiot. In her case--or rather his--he had blandly gone along with the experience without thought of any consequences. The simple novelty of the experience alone was enough to make him find the whole thing enjoyable, and only afterwards did he think about what he had done rather than what he had been doing.

"I see," Cologne said after a suitable pause, "So am I to understand that during your first day as a man you immediately reverted to type and did what any man would do in the presence of a beautiful and willing young girl? That does put matters more into focus. Inexperience has damned more than one young couple to adult concerns that they never before contemplated."

"Sh-Shampoo…?" Nabiki gasped.

"She was indeed innocent of any foreknowledge of what was likely to happen," Cologne replied, "She knew, of course, about where babies come from and even knows quite a bit about the anatomical process, since I did not neglect that as a part of her education. It is the other aspects that come with early motherhood that she is unprepared to face. I would suggest you listen to my advise on this matter, Son-in law, since I have raised many healthy daughters and granddaughters, not all of them my own. My experience as a Midwife would be invaluable at this point. Shampoo is as strong and healthy as a bull, but even a strong woman can suffer worse than cramps, and I would not wish that this child be lost to negligence or mischance."

Nabiki sat back in is chair with a stunned expression, "Mischance?"

"I believe the term you would use is Miscarriage," Cologne replied, "It happens far too often with girls Shampoo's age, and the tragedy it brings can have enormously devastating consequences. I would spare her such anguish, so I most humbly ask that you allow me to treat her."

"Uh, all right," Nabiki said, "I guess I can't see anything wrong with that, just as long as she also sees Doctor Tofu for a second opinion."

"I would consider that most prudent," Cologne replied sagely, "I have investigated the doctor and interviewed a number of his patients to satisfy myself of his competence, and I have come away with the sincere conviction that there is no finer practitioner in the Nerima district, save for one slight character flaw concerning your older sister."

"Oh yeah," Nabiki winced, "That."

"Know that I will do everything to insure that Shampoo has a normal, healthy pregnancy and that you both come away from the experience as happy, loving parents," Cologne said solemnly, then her expression took on a slightly chilling cast as she added, "Unless it is not your will to have this child, in which case it will be Shampoo's decision whether or not to bear the child of your union. I imagine you must feel slightly bewildered by it all and could even come to wish the child away. I know many ways to make this happen, of course, but would be extremely reluctant to use them unless all parties judge that it is for the best."

Nabiki was horrified. In principle she had nothing against the basic concept of abortion, but to offer it up so casually as Cologne was doing, and to make Shampoo bear the weight of that choice…it chilled her more than any other experience she could ever remember, not excluding the day she had first learned of her mother's illness. Apparently Cologne read her reaction and nodded as if to herself then smiled.

"I am pleased to see you were not contemplating this yourself. It speaks well for you, son-in-law, that you do not instantly wish to do away with your responsibilities in this matter. I well know how Shampoo would have reacted had it been your preference."

Nabiki found himself cringing at the thought of what Cologne had implied. It was true she did not welcome this news and would have wished the whole thing away if she could, but to think that she would so callously dispense with her child…

Her child? Shampoo's child! What the hell did that make Nabiki? The father? She definitely was not ready for this!

"Ah," Cologne said sagely, "I see you entertain some doubt that you are indeed the instrument of Shampoo's condition. I am surprised at you for even thinking that she would comport herself with another when you have been at the forefront of her every waking thought since the day you fled our village. Do you think I would not know if she had been unfaithful to her husband?"

"Ah, no, that's not it at all!" Nabiki protested, feeling like a little kid being scolded, yet somehow for once she knew Cologne held the moral high ground. There was no way of refusing her compelling logic or protesting his innocence this time. He had acted stupidly on a moment without thought, yet that thought in itself provided him with a last futile weapon of protest.

"I never would have done any of this if it hadn't been for that stupid love potion…"

"Love potion?" Cologne sniffed, "Is that what you think it was?"

"Ah," Nabiki blinked, "I was told it was a beverage given to a husband during the ceremony that was supposed to…inspire my interest…"

"If you needed a love potion to do that then you would have been a very sorry example of manhood," Cologne snorted contemptfully, "No, the love potions are rare and expensive, the ingredients hard to come by. The elixir you drank was a far more common beverage used by men in our village to…how shall I put this? Inspire them to new heights of performance."

"Oh," Nabiki said, "An aphrodisiac. Why didn't you just say so?"

"Then you really would have a case for claiming entrapment," Cologne replied, "But the effects of the elixir inversely depend on how much you imbibe. Too much at once overwhelms the system and leaves you too drunk to perform with any endurance. A moderate amount helps to ease the conscious mind of any doubt or hesitation about your ability to perform up to Amazon standards. You were very moderate, as I understand it, and kept a clear enough mind when you braced the standard tests and challenges we use to screen out newly weds who are closet weaklings. That is why the rituals are so elaborate, and by the end of your ordeal it is believed that the couple will be united in bliss forever."

"And of course there's no divorce in your system," Nabiki noted.

"As I said, it is believed that the bliss will last forever," Cologne replied, "We are not actually such fools as to believe this will naturally happen. By closing the way out a man must accept his choice and live with it forever. He is closed to any other options unless his wife is agreeable to a sharing with another."

"Nice to know my options weren't totally limited," Nabiki sighed, "Why didn't you ever explain all this to me in the first place?"

"Obviously you would not have accepted the truth if I gave it all to you in one sitting," Cologne said simply.

Something in her mannerisms made Nabiki wince and ask, "You sure you and Happosai aren't related?"

All at once Cologne seemed to rise up in a fury with a suddenness that made Nabiki half fear that the Elder was about to strike him. Cologne managed to stop herself in time and finally got control over her temper, then merely glared as she said, "You had to go and mention that unworthy clod…"

"Sorry," Nabiki said and actually meant it, "Didn't mean to touch a raw nerve there. Guess I'm just a little upset about this whole mess. So you're saying I'm committed to Shampoo no matter what choice I would have actually made? Your attempt to bully me into submission really was just for Shampoo's welfare?"

"I love my Great Granddaughter very much," Cologne said sincerely, her temper vanishing as quickly as it had appeared, "It is true that my status in the tribe would be reaffirmed if she were to return with me to Joketsuzoku--WITH her husband, of course--but I am forced to oblige the two of you in your desire to remain in Nerima. I still wish to compel you to comply, which is why I have not yet made the Phoenix pill available to you."

"So you do have it on your possession," Nabiki said in confirmation of her suspicion, "And what would you have done about Shampoo's baby if she had taken my head instead of accept me as her husband?"

"I would have explained the child to my fellow Elders as a gift of the Fairy Elves," Cologne replied, "Or claimed that a God had visited her to comfort her in her hour of bereavement."

"And would they have believed you?" Nabiki asked with raised eyebrows.

"Of course not," Cologne snorted, "What do you think we are, idiots or backward dullards? We're not senile just because we're a bit old fashioned, but the claim would have been accepted at face value and no one would inquire any farther. Shampoo would have had her child and my House would have another heir and everyone would be satisfied about her honor."

"Except that she would have the blood of her Airen on her hands," Nabiki pointed out.

"If you had continued to refuse her while she was with child, then you would hardly have been worthy of the title," Cologne said simply, "To Shampoo you would have been a girl who wronged her through trickery and enchantment, while the child would be partial repayment for the trauma you caused. I think you are only just now beginning to fully realize how this all must have seemed to her from her end. That speaks well for you indeed, and better than I would have imagined."

Nabiki looked down and said, "I have to admit…there was a while there when I just hated this whole sorry mess and blamed the both of you for messing up my life."

"But you got over that immature reaction," Cologne sighed as she seemed to lean more heavily against her staff, "And you proved me wrong for thinking you some callous, selfish child who was only interested in her own welfare. I regret some of the things I have been forced to do in pursuit of my family's honor. You came through this trial period with flying colors, mastering every test I have set you. Perhaps now at last you are finally ready to face the real challenge that will prove that you are worthy of being an Amazon yourself."

"You're offering to let me join the club?" Nabiki asked.

"Yes," Cologne replied, "But initiation, in your own vernacular, is a bitch. Tell me truthfully, Tendo Nabiki…what would you do to become a woman once again?"

Nabiki was surprised by the question, "You have to ask? Anything short of selling my soul, I suppose…or my firstborn baby," she added with a note of suspicion.

Cologne smiled as if she were about to offer that as her next question. Instead what she said was, "Tell me truthfully, Nabiki-san, do you think I am an evil woman?"

Nabiki actually had to think on that before replying, "No, not truly evil, just ruthlessly dedicated. You have a lot of faults I could name, Elder, not the least is your contempt for anyone who's weaker than you are. You know more things than the rest of us so you flaunt that fact to bully us around to get your way, no matter how many times we tell you to take a hike."

"That is honest," Cologne said, "Perhaps I do value strength too much over other virtues, but I respect integrity and devotion to principles. Tell me plainly again, Tendo Nabiki…would you call yourself a woman of loose morals?"

That did not take as much thought in forming his reply, "I'm afraid I'm not much of a woman at all at the moment, but yeah…I'm a realist at heart. I do what I think is right for me and those I care about, and I'm not too worked up about conventional morality. I think Ethics should be tooled to fit the situation."

"A Utilitarian philosophy," Cologne replied, "And yet you strive to do what you believe is right even in the face of strong opposition. You believe in defending those who are weaker than yourself, and you have great compassion even for those who give you reason to hate them. I am satisfied indeed that you are the perfect choice to inherit the mantle of my family's traditions. You are strong, fair, intelligent and ethical, and my beloved child is very fond of you and all but lives for the day when you embrace her without the hesitation you now experience."

"I can't imagine why," Nabiki said, "All I've ever done is hurt her and given her good reason to hate me. I think she gets along even better with Ranma than with me…"

"He now belongs to both of you," Cologne replied, "There is no conflict there, but then again it hardly seems fair to the boy that he cannot embrace you as his wife in your present condition."

Cologne's staff suddenly moved before Nabiki had time to even think, and the tip rapped sharply against his chest, almost exactly in the same spot as the Cat Tongue. Nabiki felt a wave of electricity once more shoot through his body, and then he gasped for breath and said, "What…?"

"I've neutralized the Cat Tongue," Cologne replied, "There is no longer any reason to force you to remain a man. You have decided to embrace your responsibilities, so I return the right of choice. The Phoenix pill, you see, was not the only counter-agent."

Nabiki felt himself almost disbelievingly and said, "I can be a woman again?"

"Consider it my wedding present," Cologne smiled, "We are not yet done with each other, but there is no longer any reason for you to resent me. Now, if you will excuse me, daughter-in-law, I will go see my great granddaughter."

Nabiki just stared as he watched the Elder hop away, and he was still staring when Genma eased up beside her and murmured, "That is a very strange old woman. She reminds me a little too much of the Master."

"Unless you count the fondling and stealing underwear part," Nabiki absently noted.

"Hai," Genma replied, "That goes without saying…"

"She what?" Akane demanded, absolutely livid with outrage.

"Some maniac took Kodachi!" Keiko repeated in distress, "Right there in front of my face while I flopped around on the ice like some damned beached whale! I had to take my skates off just so I could chase her out of the rink, but by the time I made it to the exits she was long gone! Damn! It's all my fault…"

"No one's blaming you, Keiko-san," Ryoga said soothingly, shooting a worried glance at Akane as he asked, "Are we?"

"I'm seriously thinking about it," Akane glowered, "But it's really all the fault of that Chinese maniac who splashed her! What is it with these Amazons? All they do is wreck the place…"

"Excuse please?" Perfume growled with deadly earnestness.

Everyone winced as they belatedly remembered the Amazon in their presence. Ranma looked particularly anxious. His phone call to Doctor Tofu's clinic had confirmed that Shampoo had indeed been taken there, but other than being assured that there was nothing seriously wrong with the Purple-haired wife of his iinazuke he had not obtained any details, other than to learn that Cologne was there with Nabiki to provide their support. He wanted very much to join them, as he knew Perfume shared his concern for Shampoo's welfare, but at the moment the crisis surrounding Kodachi was taking precedence. He wanted this business over and done with as quickly as it could be managed.

"But who would have taken her?" Ukyo asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence, "Aside from Furriers, that is?"

Keiko paled while Akane winced. Ranma just looked horrified as he said, "You don't think somebody would actually do that to her, would they?"

"Why not?" Perfume asked, "Far as anyone know she just walking pelt ready to skin."

"Perfume-chan," Ukyo growled, but understood her Amazon bride's seeming indifference to Kodachi's welfare. It had not been very long indeed since the occasion when it had been Perfume in her cursed form who had been at the mercy of Kodachi. Small wonder there was no love lost there.

Yet the young Amazon was not such a creature of malice that she could remain unaffected from the angry glares turned on her by Ranma, Keiko, and Akane. With a deep sigh she said, "Perfume know Stupid Rose girl friend to Akane-san, but she think good Joss that Rose girl know what like to sit in own cage and be helpless. Maybe teach Rose girl good lesson."

"All right," Ranma said, "Maybe she did do you wrong, but that's no reason to abandon her. We've got no idea what kind of a maniac would…would…" he suddenly stopped himself and looked straight at Akane.

Akane whirled to Keiko and said, "This kidnapper…was it a girl about this tall with curly brown hair and big eyes, wearing a cute little dress?"

Keiko blinked, "Well, yeah…that about describes her…"

Ranma and Akane looked at each other again and as one said, "Azusa!"

"Her?" Ukyo said archly then answered her own question as she struck palm with fist, "Damn, I should have recognized her MO! This is exactly the sort of thing she'd do--Omigosh! Poor Kodachi!"

"Excuse me?" Keiko looked from one to the other then growled, "Who's this we're talking about? Who the hell is this Azusa?"

"Your worst nightmare if you're cute, cuddlesome and furry," Ukyo replied.

"She's a maniac," Akane growled, "She gets these weird ideas every time she sees something she thinks is cute. She takes them and gives them funny French names then locks them up in her home and treats them like museum pets! Poor Kodachi…"

"Well, if you know who she is, then why don't we go find her and make her give Kodachi back?" Keiko demanded.

"Not as easy as it sounds, Keiko-san," Ranma replied, "Shiratori Azusa lives in a heavily guarded mansion surrounded by the most advanced security systems known to modern science. It's a death trap just trying to get into the place! I've heard stories about people who wanted to get their possessions back…" he shuddered, "And now she has Kodachi…"

Perfume frowned, "You no think it good idea let her keep Rose girl Ferret?"

"How would you like to be stuck in a cage twenty four hours a day, pampered and catered to while drugged into submission and forced to look cute until you expire?" Akane asked, and from her tone and the way she was looking at Perfume the question did not sound academic.

"Perfume…gets point," Perfume said uncomfortably, "That very bad, even for Rose girl."

"So how do we get her back?" Ukyo asked when they heard a polite cough from just behind them, causing them all to turn around and see the boy standing there with a casual and differential expression.

"I could not help overhearing you say that you lost a pet to my idiot partner," Sensenin Mikado remarked, "Perhaps I might be able to offer my humble assistance, provided a suitable reward is in the offing?"

"What do you want?" Ranma growled, balling his fists.

"Why, nothing much in the way of compensation," Mikado examined his well-manicured nails, "It's just that I happen to have free access to the Shiratori estate and can sometimes persuade Azusa to part with her possessions. All that I ask in return is a mere kiss from each of these lovely ladies…"

Perfume took a step towards him and grabbed the boy by his collar, shaking him forcefully as she said, "How about Perfume let you live?"

Ukyo laid a restraining hand on her shoulder and said, "We want him in a cooperative mood, Per-chan. I don't think beating him senseless gets us any closer to rescuing Kodachi."

Perfume gave Mikado an angry snort, then released him, "Amazon no kiss boy who not Airen. Name other reward, Perfume maybe do it."

"Fine," Akane said, "You want a kiss, Mikado? You'll get one…after we have Kodachi!"

"Akane-chan?" Ryoga looked horrified.

"I'd sooner kiss a Crocodile," Keiko growled, "But for Kodachi's sake I'm in."

"That should put you past your thousand kiss mark, Mikado," Ukyo said as she saw Ranma silently calculate the angle and trajectory it would take to send the other boy into orbit.

"Fine," Mikado smiled, unaffected by the hostility with which he was confronted, "They protest the loudest who wish the most for that they wish to claim…"

"Perfume change mind," Perfume growled, "Think Skate boy and other Kuno are related."

Ukyo blew a silent laugh through her nostrils and took Perfume by the hand to squeeze it gently. The gesture not only surprised the girl but also made her totally lose focus of her anger, even though Ukyo had only meant to convey tacit agreement with the accuracy of Perfume's statement…

Continued

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