Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ Crash go the Titans... ( Chapter 83 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"Finally, we made it!" Natsumi heaved a sigh of relief, "Nerima at last, now all we've got to do is discover which way that giant bugger went and see what we can do about it."

"How very odd," Miyuki frowned as she studied the road ahead of them, "You can see the devastation of the creature's passage, clearly indicating the direction it took, but there's no sign of the creature itself. For that matter, where is the national Self-Defense Force? You would expect them to be present at a time such as this. After all the security of our nation is at stake…."

"You mean like in the movies?" Natsumi asked, "Haven't you noticed that it never does any good to send the army against Gojira or his buddies?"

"This isn't a movie, Natsumi-chan," Miyuki replied, "And I can't believe that conventional armaments could be completely useless against even a creature such as him. Haven't you every heard of the inverse square rule that holds that for every expansion of size in one direction there is a proportional expansion in the other two dimensions?"

"Yeah, so?" Natsumi asked, sensing another immanent science lecture and bracing herself accordingly so as not to nod off in mid-topic.

"So if Gojira is eighty times the height of a man, he must also be five hundred and twelve thousand times the general mass, but with only six thousand four hundred times the cross area of bone density, meaning that he has eighty times the stress factor on his general musculature, and that's not even taking into account the overall area of his body surface. If he were built proportional to a dinosaur he would be incapable of supporting his own internal organs…"

"Didn't seem to be having any trouble from where I was sitting," Natsumi said drolly, "And what if he's got a thicker hide than a normal dinosaur? I've heard he can even shrug off lasers…"

"That's not very likely, unless there were some other factor at work in his internal dynamic," Miyuki sounded thoughtful, which always made Natsumi nervous, "I wonder…is it possible for a body that size to generate an internal heat source similar to the theoretical models regarding Cold Fusion? If he could somehow manifest a bio-electrical field that reinforced his overall integrity like a magnet, strengthening everything while protecting his body like a living force-field…"

"Miyuki," Natsumi said as she started to sit upright.

"I may be onto something here," Miyuki said with a growing excitement that was plain in her lovely features, "A bio-electrical field that reinforces integrity and strengthens his overall resilience…"

"Miyuki-chan," Natsumi said more urgently.

"Just imagine the potential discoveries in not just biology but physics should such a thing be possible…" Miyuki continued as if too caught up with her idea to even notice that her partner had spoken.

"Miyuki!" Natsumi all but shouted to get her attention then pointed.

"What?" Miyuki came out of her daze as she followed her partner's gesture, then almost panicked as she hit the breaks and veered sharply to the right, just managing to pull their car up short of the huge pit that yawned directly in their path.

She had been so intent on following the monster's huge foot prints that she had failed to notice the signs that warned that they were near to the city water reclamation center, and there in the huge semi-dry basin was the very monster that they had been pursuing.

Or rather they encountered the monsters, as in plural.

"What the…?" Natsumi sat upright in her seat as Miyuki killed the engine and gaped in no less astonishment than her partner, "Two of them?"

"Apparently," Miyuki noted after an understandable pause of several long moments, "He's not the last of his kind after all. He must have come to Nerima to mate…"

"Mate with what?" Natsumi wondered, "That one looks more like the creature from that really awful American remake, the one that attacked New York City."

"Well, what do you know," Miyuki noted faintly, "Life really does imitate art…and what are those helicopters doing up there?"

"Huh?" Natsumi was jarred out of her fixation with the very rare sight of two creatures the size of very tall buildings mating in broad daylight and instead focused on the five helicopters moving off to one side in perfect formation.

"Those aren't government helicopters," Miyuki noted before starting up the engine once again, "Let's follow them and see where they land. I've got a feeling we're about to finally get some answers…"

At first when they had circled the area looking for a place to land the occupants of the lead of a fleet of five helicopters--all bearing the Kuno Family Company Logo/Pharmaceuticals Division--were amazed to discover what looked from the air to be a pair of prehistoric creatures of unbelievable size making out like a pair of rabbits, but since that was all that they seemed to be doing it was obvious that the most prudent approach was not to disturb them. Instead, they set down a good distance away near to where they found a group of people gathered about what appeared to be an outdoor kitchen.

Tatawaki Kuno was first to dismount from the lead helicopter, reaching out his hand to offer it to Natsume Tendo, who was all too willing to take it, even though she did not actually need the assistance. Next to exit was Elder Cologne, followed in good order by Tatawaki's father, who turned to stare at the two rutting beasts and sniffed, "Some Mascot, settin' a poor example like that…although-come to think of it-that's more real t'life than our old mascot, an' pretty typical for our kiki students…"

"What on Earth do you suppose has been going on here, Kuno-san?" Natsume asked Tatawaki.

"I'm afraid to even hazard a guess," Kuno replied, turning to take note of the ones approaching them, "Perhaps we will get some answers, provided we are not too late, Tendo Nabiki?"

"Not at all," Nabiki said, "In fact you're just in time. Have you brought everything we requested?"

"It's all here, and in the quantities you requested," Kuno nodded to the helicopters, then scanned the people massed around the small makeshift camp and said, "I trust no one was seriously injured in bringing these two creatures together?"

"Fortunately no," Nabiki said, turning to glance at where the two lizards were still in full rut mode, "Good thing, too...from the sound of things they wouldn't be too discriminating of anyone getting in their way at the moment.

"Indeed," Cologne remarked, "You have managed well, my child, to minimize your losses in this way. I dare say…" her tone trailed off as she took note of one individual among the crowd who literally stood head and shoulders above the rest, "Who is that over there?"

"Oh, Frank?" Nabiki turned a half-amused glance towards the giant biker, who was studying the activities of the creatures with his odd binoculars, "He calls himself Doctor Steinberg, if you can believe it…"

"Does he now?" Cologne mused, "Not very original, but it fits him nicely…"

Nabiki turned a curious look towards the wizened elder, not certain if she had heard the tone just right or if Cologne actually seemed to recognize the big man without having needed to ask. Of course, being only human, Nabiki could not have noticed the trio of Heavenly visions currently contemplating the same stolid looking individual with speculative interest reflected in the eyes of the eldest.

"Isn't he handsome?" Urd asked her two sisters.

"Handsome?" Skuld replied dubiously, "You're telling us that you know this guy, Sis?"

"Know him and dated him," Urd smirked, "And I can testify from first hand experience that he's well…put together. Everything about him's made to proportion…" she smirked, "And I do mean everything! There's more than one reason they call him the Monster."

"He does seem like a very nice man," Belldandy noticed in her quiet little way, "But I sense great sadness about him, and loneliness as well. It's like a part of him lives eternally in the past…"

"My area of specialty," Urd smirked, but then sobered as she added, "Yeah, Frank's like that in a lot of ways, but you can take it from me that his heart is in the right place…well, sort of located there anyway…"

"How long do you think those two will be at it?" Ranma asked curiously as he turned away from watching Ukyo and the others with kitchen talents prepare the brew to the recipe they had been given.

"Hard to say, kid," Frank replied as he lowered his special glasses, "An average lizard only does it for a few moments, long enough to fertilize the eggs of the female and get onto other business. With these guys, though, it could take a bit longer, maybe ten or twenty minutes tops. Seems to be a correspondence between higher intelligence and the ability to enjoy a good lay, and that boy's been waiting a long time to get his rocks off. According to the legends the original Typhon was taken out by Zeus a couple thousand years ago…"

"Four thousand to be less than fully exact," Hercules corrected, "Well before my time anyway, though I'd always thought Dad was just exaggerating about the size of the bloody sucker. Guess those guys have a pretty long lifespan…can't imagine what could naturally kill them. Kind of like you in a lot of ways. That part of your interest?"

"Partly," Frank admitted, "I've made a pretty thorough study of Big G's anatomy and biological processes, or at least as far as I can go without having to dissect him. There's still a lot we don't know about what makes big suckers like him tick…but then that could probably be just as true about me, so who's pointing the finger, huh?"

"Now there's a line I wouldn't touch with a ten foot Runestaff," remarked the red-bearded Thor, who showed up just then in his restored male aspect.

"So," Hercules remarked, "Finally decided to switch back to yourself now that Sif knows your little secret?"

"Only part of it," Thor rubbed the side of his head and winced a little as though encountering a spot that was very tender, "She still doesn't know about her precious Algonquin. I'm not looking forward to how she'll take it when I spring that bit of information on her."

"Too bad," Frank remarked, "Your other half is quite the looker."

"Har, har," Thor growled, "Like you're any fit judge of that, Gargoyle…"

"Golem," Frank corrected, "Golem, I don't do that stone bit in the daytime. Besides, some of my best friends are Gargoyles, so don't make any cracks about my looks because I happen to know I still have my touch with the ladies…"

"You certainly have at that."

"Huh?" the big man looked down, caught sight of a familiar object and almost jumped until he gazed further down at the figure holding the wooden staff and frowned before asking, "Who the hell are you, Granny?"

"A very good question," Cologne replied, giving the giant a benevolent smile that would have probably frightened even a giant monster, "Care to make a guess, Sonny?"

Frank hesitated only a few moments before he said, "Cologne? Is that you, Baby? What…happened?"

"It's been over a hundred and eighty years at least," Cologne replied, "What do you think happened? I got older. I was over a hundred and eleven when we first met, if I recall rightly."

"Oh," Frank said faintly, "It's been…that long, huh? Guess I lost track of the time…I've been kind of busy…"

"So I've gathered," Cologne said with a sardonic smile, "I understand you're now calling yourself Doctor Steinberg, am I right?"

"Well," Frank said awkwardly, "I have several degrees after all, some of 'em even before my resurrection, and I think my father'd be proud that I carried on the family tradition…"

"That you have," Cologne glanced over and the two lizards before adding, "If anything I'd say you've exceeded yourself in that department."

"Yeah, well," Frank shrugged, "I can't exactly take credit for him, but I've written some dandy reports in all the major scientific journals if you can understand the technical jargon. Uh…look, about Lotion…"

"She still thinks of you from time to time," Cologne noted the way the big man winced a little before adding, "Of course she's a great grandmother now with a great granddaughter who is almost her spitting image who bears the same name…if not quite the same nature. She also sits in the Council and makes a point of opposing me on certain key matters."

"Uh, yeah…" Frank turned away and his expression looked tight for a moment before he added, "Sorry about that."

"Not your fault how matters turned out," Cologne replied, "I'm just glad we did settle affairs reasonably in the end. Besides, what's wrong with the three of us not having died by now? Considering the sort of lives we led, I think that's pretty remarkable."

"Yeah, I guess," Frank made a point of changing the subject, "Say, have you noticed how that guy over there looks a lot like a certain somebody I used to hang around with?"

"I was wondering when you were going to bring that up," Cologne said sardonically, "His name is also Genma Saotome."

Frank scowled, "Too much of a coincidence. You think maybe it's somehow him alive after all this time?"

"Doubtful," Cologne remarked, "Genma Saotome is many things, but he is certainly not as immortal as you. It is a rather remarkable resemblance, however and not just in the name or that he changes into a panda."

"Panda?" Frank turned around and glared in Genma's direction, "That settles it, he's the guy who led me into that cursed training ground and messed my life up for almost a century…"

"Funny," Hercules sniffed, "He looks and sounds an awful lot like Gemenidies, who also had the exact same curse, only the guy I'm thinking of was older, and he was also a Satyr."

"What are you getting at?" Thor frowned, "Can't you tell if he has the right Akashik signature?"

"Oh, his signature's a close enough match all right," Hercules growled, "But the Temporal count's all wrong, which makes me think maybe that the Genma I knew wasn't really from the past at all but maybe this guy in the future."

"The future?" Frank arched his eyebrows, "You mean like a Timetraveler?"

"Why not?" Hercules asked, "Stranger things have happened, and if this guy's future self is the one who went back and messed up our lives…"

"Then what if somebody messed him up before that could happen?" Thor wondered, and all three men smiled in a way that did not promise anything healthy for Saotome Genma…

"They look happy for some reason," Kasumi noted as she looked up from her share of the cooking.

Genma also could not help noticing the stares turned in his direction, or the smiles that sent odd shivers down his back. He would have either fled or assumed panda form but for Nodoka's presence and the lingering sense that he had done something to get on their bad side, which would require a lengthy explanation to her, and this time he did not have a clue as to what he could have done wrong to provoke them. He hoped it wasn't another case of him arranging a fight or engaging them to Nabiki or anything like that because if it was one of those incidents from his misunderstood past then he was shortly to learn what it felt like to be a fur rug, and he'd had quite enough of being blamed for things that were beyond even his understanding…

"Hmm?" Nabiki looked up from where she had been contemplating the two dragons and saw the approaching car with two very familiar passengers, then she heard the bike announce, "Well, well, don't look now, Boss, but your two admirers have finally come calling."

"About time," Frank replied, deciding to put aside his questions regarding the fate of Saotome Genma, "Pull up a seat, ladies, we've got a dandy vantage point to watch all the action."

"Tendo-san?" Miyuki asked as she and Natsumi exited their vehicle, once it was fully parked, "Don't tell us you're involved in all of this too?"

"Well," Nabiki smiled lopsidedly, "At the time it didn't seem like I had much of a choice…"

"YOWSA!" cried the delighted form of Happosai as he launched himself at an unprepared Natsumi and proceeded to glomp onto her chest with the predictable result that the off-duty policewoman went ballistic.

"Get off of me you-Pervert!" she cried as she tried her best to dislodge him.

Frank blinked his pale eyes then said, "Happy? Is that you, old buddy?"

"Frank?" Happosai looked up from where he had been rubbing his face between two mounds, ignoring Miyuki's attempts to assist her partner, "What are you doing here in Nerima-OW!"

"Mind your manners," Cologne said as she bopped the ancient master on the head with her staff, "I'm so sorry, ladies, but it seems this old codger can't go five minutes without reverting to type." In a lower voice she hissed, "Behave yourself, your grandchildren are watching!"

"Oh…yeah," Happosai said as he let go of Natsumi and hopped out of the reach of the savage kick she cast in his general direction. Instead he turned his attentions to the big man and said, "So you're here to see the fireworks. Can't say I'm too surprised about that, you always did keep an eye out for the big ones, as I well recall."

"Not big," Frank said, "Just nice sized. So, what have you been up to lately, or do I want to know the answer to that?" he fetched an apologetic look towards Natsumi and Miyuki.

"Tell me again how you know each other?" Akane murmured to Ryoga.

"It's…kind of hard to explain," Ryoga rubbed the back of his head with a free hand, "You know how I'm always winding up in these really strange places without any idea how I got there? Well, there was this village in Eastern Europe where I had this really strange encounter with a lychanthrope and a female vampire, and before I know it the village people are coming after me like I was the one who changed into some kind of a monster..."

"I just happened to be in the neighborhood at the time," Frank remarked, "Looking up some old friends…or rather reminding myself where the bodies were buried, when I saw the kid here was having some problems with the locals. That's the trouble with the Old Country, way too traditional in their thinking. Kid shows up with a set of fangs and right away they just assume he's one of Vlad's people…"

"Oh come on, that is so lame!" Ranma protested, "You expect us to believe you not only traveled thousands of miles without knowing that you did it and wound up running into a Werewolf and a Vampire?"

"Shut up, Ranma!" Ryoga growled, "Nobody asked for your opinion, let alone me, and besides it's not like I would make a thing like that up!"

"I believe you, Ryoga-kun," Akane said with shining eyes, but then she added more reluctantly, "Still…you have to admit that he does have a point. After all, it's not exactly something that happens every day, even to you."

"Let's see," Nabiki began ticking off on her fingers, "We've got a pair of monsters over there who each deserve their own area codes, a group of people calling themselves gods, and the big fellow over here who claims some kind of a relationship to that other guy in the 19th century novel…"

"Only I didn't kill no kid," Frank growled, "Shelly got that part wrong, like a lot of other details, even after I explained my story while hiding out in Byron's mansion. She thought it would add more punch, but I was framed, I tell you! She should never have let that Percy guy handle the edit chores."

"Ah, if you say so," Nabiki turned away with a dubious expression, "So…what's that about Ryoga's story being hard to credit, Ranma-kun? Sounds to me like a typical Hibiki adventure."

"You've got that right, sugar," Ukyo said cheerfully from where she and the others were putting the finishing touches on several heaping platters full of Okonomiyaki, "Ryoga can no more stay out of trouble when he travels than Nab-chan here can avoid getting wet."

"Don't I know it," Nabiki frowned with her most droll expression.

"Seriously though," Frank glanced down at Ryoga, "If you're having problems finding your way in the world, maybe you should let me examine you at one of my clinics. I'm used to diagnosing unusual phenomenon…you might even say it's in my blood. At the very least I might be able to help you get a better handle on this uncontrolled talent."

"Be careful of that offer," the familiar voice of Beatrice remarked as she and Aiko reappeared walking up the side of the gully at a leisurely pace together, "We mad scientist types have a tendency to meddle, like those researchers we knew at the institute that gave us our nick-names."

"Welcome back," Nabiki said, "I take it your little game of tag ended satisfactorily?"

Aiko was about to say something when Beatrice beat her to the punch, "Afraid not, but it was fun to go at it again for old time's sake. I'd call this one something of a draw, but there's always next time…"

"Next time?" Aiko said in alarm, "Don't tell me you're planning to go after me like that every day, just like you used to?"

"Why, Alison," Beatrice smiled coyly, "Don't you like the idea of being chased, especially since you know I'm going to catch you in the end, and then you and I can go steady like any regular couple?"

"Urk," Aiko replied with a half step backward, but one would have been hard pressed to say if she as upset at the notion as she pretended.

"All done with this batch!" Ukyo called out, "How many more Fish Okonomiyakis do you think we'll need?"

"Better keep at it until you use up your ingredients," Frank replied, "I'll refund you for the materials later since you're doing your government a community service."

A loud noise shook the air, then Ranma winced, "Man, how long are those two going to be at it? It's been close to twenty minutes!"

"They do sound as if they'll be at it a while more," Frank replied as he adjusted his binoculars then in a darker tone he growled, "Showoff."

"No, wait," Beatrice raised a hand and listened, "The pitch is different, I think he's making his withdrawal."

"Withdrawal?" Aiko winced, "Sounds more like she's in pain!"

"That's just the effect of him pulling out of her, Alison," Beatrice replied, "Some animals have ridges on their male members that hold them into place so that fertilization can occur at the maximum depth of penetration. There is a slight tearing sensation as the spines or ridges on the tip are pulled out, but after this the female often experiences an intense form of relief quite similar to an orgasm…"

"Can't you just say he's got a rough technique and leave it at that?" Aiko pleaded, "And since when did you become such an expert? I thought you said you'd never been with a guy before. It's that Gail creep, isn't it? I thought you two were alone a bit too much on that trip…"

"I've told you, Aiko," Beatrice replied, "Our relationship was strictly platonic…mostly."

"Mostly?" Aiko bristled.

Unnoticed by most of those around them, Ukyo suddenly staggered and had to be caught by an anxious Perfume, who had been first to recognize that her wife was having hot flashes.

The others did not notice because-at that very moment-Gojira pulled completely out of Baby, and for the first time gave everyone a good view of the thing that had given her such pleasure and torment.

"Kami-sama," Natsumi gasped, "He's huge!"

"Huge is an understatement," Miyuki agreed, unable to look away while the other Natsume put a hand over the eyes of her younger sister, Kurumi.

"No wonder she was in pain," Ryoga gasped, while Ranma and Kuno only winced, feeling more than slightly intimidated.

"Oh my," Kasumi said, "Isn't he a bit…small?"

After a brief second of pause everyone looked at her in astonishment. The eldest Tendo sister took notice of their expressions and said, "For his size, I mean. He's not quite in proportion."

"You know, now that I think on it, you're right," said Beatrice with a look of speculation that earned a dubious look from Aiko.

"Well," Frank said, turning from the glasses to examine his wrist chronometer, "In another ten seconds, nine, eight, seven, six…"

Right on cue Gojira gave a final cry of triumph, then slumped forward and hit the dirt with the force of a major earth tremor.

"Timber," Frank mused in the ensuing silence, "Right on cue. Well, I don't think he'll be stirring for a while after that. Better feed him those drugs to keep him and his lady friend passive, they've got a long trip ahead of them, and I've already got the choppers fueled and ready to fly. Let's not wait for the Asian financial crisis to deepen, people, let's get moving."

"Sounds like my cue," Aiko rolled her eyes, then examined the huge stacks of okonomiyaki that had been cooked and readied by the expert team of chefs, already laid out on wooden palates. She hefted one up as though it were as light as a feather then balanced it over her head and said, "I'll be back in a minute with the next one…"

"Don't sweat it, kid," Hercules said, "That's what me and Erik the Red here are good for. You take one, we'll take the other two, and feed those two lovebirds off to dreamland."

Perfume turned from watching the display of physical might to noticing the odd expression Ukyo was wearing and said, "You okay, Ucchan? You look like you're having hot flashes."

"I think I am," Ukyo fanned herself with a hand, "Is it me or has it gotten awfully warm all of a sudden?"

"Actually it's cooling off a bit," Perfume noted, then saw the strange look her beloved chef was giving her and said, "Oh…you mean that kind of warm all of a sudden?"

"Uh-huh," Ukyo sidled up next to the Amazon and said, "Say, Per-chan…now that the crisis is winding down and all, how would you feel about maybe going off somewhere and…" she leaned forward and murmured into Perfume's ear, earning a non-plussed look of amazement from her companion.

"Now?" Perfume's voice arched an octave as though even she was startled at the suggestion.

"No better time for it," Ukyo purred sensuously, showing a more brazen lust in her smile than was usually the case for someone normally reserved to the point of shyness.

Ranma watched this exchange with a very sour look of his own, but before he could comment on it he heard the big man murmur to himself, "Now that things are quieting down, there's just one question I've got about that egg the baby hatched from."

"Egg?" Nabiki arched an eyebrow, "You have some notion how such a thing got to Nerima?"

"Herk seems to know something," Frank replied as he stroked his chin with a thoughtful expression, "I'll wait until he gets back before seeking confirmation. Whoever broke into the containment facility where the egg was being stored had little trouble bypassing all the security protocols, most of which I designed myself. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say the thief wasn't human."

"What sort of egg are you talking about, Sir?" Ryonami spoke up at last, "We've heard a rumor that the creature was hatched, and there's been some mention of the name Typhon…"

"Typhon meaning the Greek Titan sent by Mother Earth to punish the Gods," said Gosunkugi, "Would you care to explain that, Sir?"

"Not sure if I can," Frank remarked, "What I know is that a team of researchers many years ago found the egg in a cave on an island in the Mediterranean and it was taken in for study by a certain group with which I'm currently affiliated. We thought it might be magical in nature, but nobody suspected it was dormant waiting to hatch out. I think somebody with a lot of personal power must have done something to speed up the growth process, which is why your baby hatched and matured in such a short interval. It's almost as if they intended the creature to run wild and cause all kinds of mischief."

"Only the creature imprinted itself on a human woman before this could happen," Beatrice remarked, "In effect, her link with the creature proved to be a stabilizing influence and no doubt averted a major crisis."

"Which just leaves us with the question of who would want to have the creature run loose in Nerima," Nabiki remarked, "Especially since its hatching seems to have drawn the interest of the King of all Monsters."

"Okay," Natsumi said, "I can tell when we've walked in during intermission. Mind backing up and explaining that whole thing to Miyuki and me? We're a little handicapped since we tend to think and act more like regular people."

"I think I am getting the gist of it," Miyuki surmised, "So if I understand this right, what we are looking for is someone who has the ability to perform miracles, who would not mind causing mass destruction, collateral property damage and quite possibly a widespread loss of life and who knows about Monster Island, which-by the way-Natsumi here seems to think is nothing more than the product of Tojo studios and not an actual facility."

"Well hey!" Natsumi winced, "You got to admit it's kind of implausible, the government keeping those things hidden away on some unknown island…"

"You know," Ryoga mused, "What you're describing almost sounds like a god…."

"Or goddess," said Urd as she finally joined the conversation, looking up before adding, "You can come out now, Kishi. The game is up, you can stop messing around with the mortals."

"Why, whatever to you mean, dearie?" an old woman asked as she appeared alongside the grill, bent and hunched over with grey hair, but once she straightened out her hair turned jet black, formed into a pony tail and lengthened until it was dangling well below her waist as she grew tall, slender and generously well proportioned. A moment later a statuesque beauty with purple eyes greeted them with a friendly, "Hello, Cousins. How is life for you among the mortals?"

"Cousin Kishi?" Skuld exclaimed in surprise, "What are you doing here of all places?"

"I'm doing field research, of course," the raven-haired beauty smiled, "Unlike some goddesses, I could name I'm not tied to a desk job and I'm free to consort with the common herd at my leisure."

"So what are you doing here, Cousin?" asked Belldandy with a puzzled expression.

"Hey," Nabiki blinked, "A minute ago…you looked a lot like that old woman who keeps splashing me every time I happen by a certain block…"

"Merely a coincidence," the stranger smiled in a way that hinted of mischief.

"Kishijoten," Frank sighed, "What does the Goddess of Luck have to do with Gojira's girlfriend turning up all of a sudden…or is that self-explanatory?"

"What?" the goddess asked with mock-wounded pride, "Do you honestly think that I have anything to do with the events of this day? I may be prone to the odd practical joke now and then, but even I have some sense of limit to just how far I can arrange events to suit my amusement. If you are looking for the true guilty party you need look no further than over there. I've been keeping an eye on her ever since she came over to Nippon to sow her idea of mischief. In fact, she is watching and listening in now, and in another moment she will be trying to make a hasty exit."

"Who is she talking about?" Kurumi asked her sister, "And is she really an actual goddess?"

"I have no idea," Natsume replied, "This entire day has been a very strange one, has it not, Kuno-san?"

"Indeed it has, fair one," Tatawaki replied, glancing to one side, "But unless I miss my guess, the malefactor is about to be hoist on her own petard by one too many careless assumption."

And from a place of concealment not very far away a silver haired beauty frowned and said, "What are they talking about? That Kishi must think I'm deaf if she thinks I'll fall for that…"

A large, firm hand was laid upon her shoulder and a voice replied in her ear, "You were saying, big sister?"

"Ulp," the silver haired beauty replied, "I don't suppose I could talk you into stepping aside, little Bro?"

"No."

"That's what I figured," she said, laying slender hands on the big man's wrist and taking a step to one side as she brought that arm around and flipped Hercules over onto his back. To her surprise, however, he reversed her grip on his wrist and flipped her over, too, so that she landed on top of him as his arms went firmly around her.

"Did you forget after all this time?" Hercules asked his older sister, "Hippolyta taught me that maneuver, and she learned it from her father…"

Kishijoten smiled and said, "Now all we need is one more player and the cast will be complete."

She turned to one side as a flash of lightning shot down from the heavens and suddenly took the form of a tall man with silver hair whose eyes flashed with electricity before he was fully manifested, looking like a Priest or Pilgrim on a holy mission.

"I got your fax and came at once, little sister," the man remarked as he took everything in with a glance, "I see I'm not the first to arrive either. Is this a general staff meeting, a fact-finding mission or is something up that requires so many of us in one place, and surrounded by mortals no less."

"That's semi-mortal to you," Frank huffed, then sighed, "It really is like deja vu all over again. Now I remember why I've stayed away from this place for the last twenty years, too many memories keep cropping up to haunt me."

"You're one memory I could always do without, Legion," the silver haired man remarked, "It has been many tournaments since our paths last crossed. I trust you still keep in shape?"

"Like I've got a choice?" Frank sniffed.

"Why is he calling you Legion?" Akane asked the big man.

"Old joke," Frank sniffed, "They call me Legion, for we are many, that sort of thing. Now why did you need the local God of Thunder, Kish? Haven't we got enough problems as it is without dragging in this Tournament fixer?"

"That's what I'd like to know," asked Thor as he and Sif rejoined them.

"Thor?" Raiden blinked, "And you brought lady Sif with you? Oh my…"

"Break out the hearts and flowers, the gang's all here," said Hercules as he strode up with the beautiful silver-haired girl slung over his shoulder, who was kicking and fighting in spite of having her wrists bound together, "I've got someone who owes everybody a big apology, and three guesses who's behind this business with the Titans."

"Let me go, you big bully!" the goddess in question protested, "This is blatant Sexual Harassment!"

"Yeah, yeah, runs in the family and all that," Hercules huffed as he set her down then presented her to the others, "Raiden, old buddy, you remember Artemis, my half-sister on Dad's side of the pillow?"

"Well, well," Raiden remarked, "Long time no see, Huntress."

"Artemis?" Sif bridled, "You're here? You're behind this?"

"So what if I am?" the silver haired goddess replied with an angry glare at her half brother, "It's only right that an Olympian brings back a creature from the edge of extinction that my own father nearly wiped out of existence. You mortals have been keeping that egg for study for far too long. It's a living, breathing, sentient creature and it has a right to live, just like anything else in creation!"

"She sounds like an environmental extremist," Nabiki remarked.

"Indeed," said Beatrice concurred, "It has been said that the Goddess Artemis was a strong proponent of conservation and a sworn enemy of those who wrongly exploit the resources of nature."

"You have to forgive Arty," Hercules shrugged, "She fell in with a bad crowd during the '60s and ever since she's been even harder to live with than in the old days."

"I don't need you to patronize me you male chauvinist status symbol!" Artemis snorted, "It's all the fault of you Japanese deities anyway, letting your mortals slip out of the harness, allowing them to run wild exploiting of the natural resources of other countries. And you two…you're as bad as they are!" she glared at Thor and Sif, "Letting your mortal pets use fishing trawlers with gill nets to deplete Poseidon's oceans of entire schools of fish, even permitting the barbaric practice of Whaling to continue to thrive, or are they still claiming their harvests are purely for research?" she snorted in derision, "It's because of divinities like you that mortals are depleting the world's resources faster than they can be replenished!"

"So," Frank remarked, "In other words, your solution to the problem was to engineer the release of two of the greatest of all Titans so that they could breed to create more of their kind, who would go on a rampage destroying these fishing fleets in order to preserve enough seafood for their own limitless appetites. Of course if a few thousand mortals got stomped flat along the way that would just be a messy little inconvenience?"

"Can't make an Omelet without breaking a few eggs, right Sis?" Hercules snorted, "When Dad hears about this you are gonna be SOOOO grounded…!"

"Am I to understand that she recklessly endangered public safety for the sake of a political cause?" Miyuki asked.

"They ought to throw the book at you and lose the key, lady!" Natsumi seconded, "We'd arrest you ourselves, but…"

"But we are kind of on our vacation when we got side-tracked," Miyuki finished for her, "It was curiosity that drew us here. We honestly had no idea what we were getting involved with."

"Be that as it may," Raiden stepped forward until he was only a short distance away from the defiant Moon Goddess, "I do have the authority to place you under arrest for violation of Divine Code 106, section C, paragraph ten, the reckless and willful endangering of the public. I may not fault you for your cause, but your methods leave a lot to be considered, lady."

"Do your worst," Artemis snorted, "I've been threatened by experts and I know the routine. You think there is a Continuum that can hold me, you have a lot to learn, Thunderhead! I'll appeal any charges you make before the divine court and…"

"Unfortunately," Hercules sighed, "Much as I'd like to turn her over to your custody, old buddy, I'd be in a lot of deep quiche if Dad ever found out I left a sister to rot in somebody else's prison. Arty may be obnoxious at times, but she is my sister, so if anybody's going to haul her into court it'll be yours truly."

"Guys," Urd suddenly spoke up, glancing around before she stage-whispered, "Not in front of the mortals…"

"Hey, what's up?" asked Aiko as she rejoined the group, then took notice of the Moon Goddess and said, "Who's that? She looks kind of familiar…almost a little bit like you, Beiko."

"Oh please," Beatrice snorted, "Even I was never that crazy."

"As fascinating as this custody battle is turning out to be," Kishijoten remarked, "The fact remains that matters have been resolved satisfactorily in regards to the Titan situation. Now there is only one looming crisis that threatens to burst out of control at any second, so I redirect your attention to our mortal audience, who had the odd fortune to wind up getting involved in these matters."

"What are you talking about?" Ranma asked, "We helped save the day here, so don't we get a little bit of the credit?"

"I think the crisis they are referring to involves whether or not we get to remember these events at the end of the day, Ranchan," Nabiki replied, eyeing the assembled divinities before adding, "After all, there are some things that we're not meant to know, am I right?"

"Hey," Frank growled, "That's usually my line."

"Memory problems are one thing," Kishijoten smiled, "But the crisis I was referring to is of a more personal nature in your case, Tendo-san, if you care to take notice of a certain party over to your right."

"What?" Nabiki blinked, but before she could turn around she heard Kasumi call out, "Shampoo! Are you all right?"

"Shampoo just…tired…work too hard in kitchen," said the purple haired Amazon as she felt her swollen abdomen with one hand while using the other to lean against a table that was covered in flour and the remains of many an Okonomiyaki ingredient.

"Don't lie to us, child," Cologne hopped over to her, "I've seen you trying to hide the pain in your expression. How long have you been experiencing these contractions?"

"N-nani?" Nabiki blinked.

"Contractions?" Akane gasped.

"Oh my," Kasumi moved to Shampoo's side and gently resisted the Amazon's attempts to refuse her assistance, "You had better sit down. Somebody please call for Doctor Tofu…"

"I am a doctor," Frank remarked as he was already half way to the makeshift kitchen and soon stood over Shampoo as she lay with her back upon the table, feeling her pulse and probing her with surprisingly gentle hands.

"I should have seen this coming myself," Happosai remarked as he stood beside Cologne, "The lovely Shampoo never was one to share her private pain with others…"

"Yes, but I know her best and I should have foreseen this," Cologne said grimly, "After all, there is precedence behind these events."

"What's wrong with Shampoo?" Ranma asked as he hovered nearby, wanting to come closer but for Nodoka and Kasumi warded him others.

"What do you think, Kid?" Frank said with gruff bedside manner as he finished his examination and stood back, "She's going into labor…"

"W-what???" Nabiki gasped, pushing past the others to come up alongside Shampoo as Frank stepped back to permit her.

"Nothing to get excited about," Frank said in his best reassuring tones, "Cologne can vouch that I've seen a lot of pregnant ladies in my time, and all the signs are there that she's about to have a perfectly normal delivery, provided we can get her to the hospital delivery room in time. Some girls always wait until the last minute to make the announcement," the latter part he sighed as if in bitter reflection.

"She's going to have her baby?" Ryoga blinked, "You mean…now?"

"That would seem very likely," said Beatrice nodded sagely.

"But I thought…well, you know," Ranma hesitated, "It's been seven and a half months…isn't she due in another six weeks or so…?"

"Seven and a half," Frank frowned, "I would guessed a little further along than that. Shelly, back me up on this, what do your sensors tell you?"

"The scans I just made confirm that the child is in a late third trimester phase, Boss," the motorcycle replied, "Give or take a week, no more than that."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Ryonami gasped, "Sempai and Shampoo conceived their child while they were still back in China."

"Sempai?" Frank lifted an eyebrow, turning back to give Nabiki an odd look, "Oboy…you mean Jusenkyo was involved in this? No wonder the kid's more developed…strong magic fields tend to speed up certain biological processes, like healing and cell growth. If anything that kid's going to come out a late term."

"But…this is incredible!" Soun cried, "My daughter is going to have a baby through another woman…the first of an entirely new generation of Tendos…"

"That's wonderful news, Tendo-san," Hinako said brightly, "You're going to be a grandfather!"

"A gra-!" Soun's happy expression froze on his face as he became as white as a marble statue, comprehension dawning on him with all the alacrity of a glacier.

"I see," Genma adjusted his glasses, "So, in other words, Shampoo is about to give my niece her first child, and its bound to be delivered at any moment."

There was a very slight pause of stunned silence, and then Natsumi cried, "What is everybody just standing around for??? We've got to get Tendo-san's wife to the hospital this minute!"

That broke the impasse, and an instant later there was a scramble as nearly everyone made a dash for the nearest transportation…

Continued

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