Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ Delivery... ( Chapter 86 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"Where the hell is he?" asked Agent Kei.

"Where is who?" asked Agent Jei, glancing to his more experienced partner.

"Stein," Kei replied as he surveyed the resumed work of the helicopter people, currently in the process of binding two large steel cargo nets full of slumbering Monsters, "He should be supervising this operation, not running off on some fool personal mission like a goddamned Lancelot. A fine example of leadership the way he's managing this crisis."

"You don't think taking a pregnant woman to the hospital is more important than monitoring the clean up of this mess?" Jei replied, then thought about what he had said a little before adding, "Yeah, I can see how that might look on paper…"

"Stein doesn't keep a paper trail," Kei replied sharply, "He's too slick, been in this game too long-longer than me by a good stretch-to leave any trace of his activities and whereabouts to let people even know that he was here when it mattered. That freak storm may have obliterated his trail, but I'm positive he's at the hospital in Furinkan, and I'll bet yen to ricecakes he's wormed his way into the delivery room, now the only question is: why? What's so special about this baby?"

"I don't know," Jei shrugged, "I still haven't recovered from that kid you suckered me into delivering…"

"Experience, Slick," Kei replied, "Never pass up on the chance to get more experience under your belt. A rookie like you should know by now that the greatest danger in our business is not being prepared for the unexpected," he removed a pen-like object from his jacket and spoke into it, "Talk to me, what have you got?"

Jei watched his partner with a puzzled look for the next several moments as Kei appeared to be listening to his pen, then his mentor nodded and said, "I see, well, keep an eye out for him and the others. We'll be there in another few minutes."

He clicked the pen and put it back into his pocket then said, "Let's go, Slick. He's been spotted right where I knew he'd be. You owe me a cup of ramen."

"What?" Jei blinked as he belatedly followed his partner's example, sliding into the seat of their car, which was itself anything but ordinary, "I don't owe you anything! I never bet with you in the first place!"

"Technicalities, Slick," Jei replied as he revved up the engine to their vehicle, "Fasten your seat belt, we're going there express-style."

"Wha-oshit!" Jei exclaimed before grabbing hold of the nearest brace on his side of the vehicle as it accelerated rapidly to somewhere just below the sound barrier, eating up kilometers of road that were no longer impeded by the effects of the stormclouds…

"How are you feeling, Ranma?" Kasumi asked as she handed the boy a steaming hot cup of tea.

"Huh?" Ranma blinked, looking up at his nominative older sister (or prospective sister-in-law), "Er…I'm fine, Kasumi. Why do you ask?"

"You seem very pensive for some reason," Kasumi replied, "Would you mind if I sit with you?"

Ranma glanced at the space to his right then indicated the seat next to him in the waiting room area and said, "Go right ahead. Suit yourself, Oneechan."

"Arigato," Kasumi said as she neatly composed her dress before sitting down alongside her adoptive younger brother, "To tell you the truth, I could use some company myself about now, and I can't imagine what this must be like for you, Ranma. I imagine it must be terribly confusing."

"Uh…yeah," Ranma replied, eyeing the tall girl at his side, "You think Nabiki will be all right?"

"That depends," Kasumi remarked, "But it's Shampoo who worries me. It's too soon for her to be having this baby, even if there was magic involved to speed things up. Poor Nabiki must be terribly anguished about now, I would think. Not that I expect anything bad will happen to Shampoo, of course."

"Or her baby?" Ranma asked nervously.

"That, too, must depend on circumstances," Kasumi sighed, "I hope everything will be all right. Shampoo wants this baby so much, and I can tell it means a lot to Nabiki…" she heaved a deeper sigh, "But then again, it is in other hands than our own. All we can do is wait and see what may or may not happen."

Ranma was surprised beyond words to hear Kasumi speaking with such melancholy in her tone. As long as he had known her she had always been the model of cheerfulness and upbeat good humor, the one who would come to comfort him when his mother was away and he was in need of a shoulder to cry upon. (Not that he ever used her shoulder that way since becoming a young man, he would assure anyone who cared to listen) To see her look sad this way was more than he could bear to put up with.

Ranma would have been the first to admit that he was not all that good with words, but he felt that he had to say something, so with great reluctance he said, "You…um…like Nabiki a lot, don't you?"

Kasumi blushed and looked down without immediately answering, but when she looked up there was an odd emotion in her gaze as she stared out at the empty air before her and said, "You must think that I'm being silly, having such a difficult time behaving myself when I'm in Nabiki-kun's presence. I know that it isn't right to have these feelings about my own sister, but Nabiki was gone from our lives for so long, and now that she is back and I've had the chance to get to know her once again…I find myself reacting to her as I might if she were a handsome stranger. I don't really understand why, but whenever she is around…I feel so happy."

Ranma was not certain what to make of this curious confession, having expected something other than complete honesty from the usually oblivious Kasumi. Ranma glanced down and, having nothing else better to do or say, said the first thing that came across his mind, "I guess Nabiki's pretty cute in guy form, not that I'm any judge of that sort of thing. I guess I can't blame you for that, just something in the magic of Jusenkyo makes her irresistible to girls."

"Maybe you're right," Kasumi said, "I only know that I feel so complete whenever she's around. I can't really explain the way I feel when I see her in her male form. I don't really think of it as a curse, even if it does make Nabiki's life rather complicated. I guess you and I are pretty much in the same position."

"Huh?" Ranma asked, "What do you mean by that, Oneechan?"

"Well," Kasumi replied, "You love Nabiki in her real form, but when she's a man you don't really stop loving her, do you?"

"Ah…" Ranma felt himself grow uncomfortable as he tried to put into words his own thoughts on that subject. He was not someone who felt at ease discussing his private thoughts and feelings, but if there was anyone in the world whom he trusted more than either Ukyo or Nabiki to respect his personal feelings, then it was Kasumi. He glanced away and in a nervous voice said, "Well…I'm not really into her guy form, but I understand how hard it is for Nabiki having to change around like that. At least…I think I can guess what she feels like going from one body to another. I mean…I dunno…but maybe it's just that I really can't stop thinking of her as Nabiki."

"She is the same person inside," Kasumi mused, "And very Bishonen, whatever her gender. She has so many good qualities, and it's not really like it's her fault that she has this curse that changes her against her will. I see Nabiki struggling sometimes to maintain her own identity and I want so much to comfort her, but I'm not sure that it would be proper."

"Hey, you're her sister," Ranma protested, "What's so improper if you give her a shoulder to cry on?"

"But she won't come to me for that, Ranma," Kasumi replied, "She's like you, very proud and quite stubborn. She doesn't like showing people how weak she can be sometimes, and she's always trying to be strong for others…"

"Like you, Oneechan?" Ranma asked.

Kasumi faintly smiled, "I'm not strong. I try to help out in any way I can, but I'm just an ordinary girl trying to take care of my family in any little way that I can manage. I'm not a warrior like you or Shampoo, and it really is your mother who keeps house for us all. In a way, sometimes I feel quite useless."

"Useless?" Ranma looked at her sharply, "You, Oneechan?"

Kasumi sadly nodded, "In fact, I've been thinking about going back to school to continue my education. I could get a scholarship and go on to a medical university. Doctor Tofu said that he would speak on my behalf with some people he knows at a local university, and Nabiki's offered to pay for my tuition the first semester. It really would be nice to feel needed by somebody, and what with you and Akane growing up and finding good people whom you care enough about to marry…I guess I'd like to find myself somebody too. Somebody, that is, who isn't already engaged to somebody else."

Ranma found himself smiling in spite of his own worries, "I think you'd make a great doctor, Kasumi. You have very good hands, and you've got a great bedside manner. I think Doctor Tofu might even be willing to help you out in a lot of ways if you ask him."

"You think so?" Kasumi asked, "I really wouldn't want to be a bother to him…"

"I wouldn't worry," Ranma smiled, "I'm sure Tofu-Sensei will only be too happy to help you."

"I do hope you're right," Kasumi smiled, looking off down the hallway towards the delivery room where they knew Doctor Tofu was helping Shampoo and Nabiki. There was another long pause before she spoke again, "What I meant to say before about this being strange…"

"Hai?" Ranma asked, puzzled at the older girl's hesitation.

"Forgive me for prying," Kasumi turned back towards him and fixed him with oddly sympathetic eyes, "But what is it like for you knowing that Shampoo is going to have Nabiki's baby?"

Ranma blinked at the very directness of the question, and suddenly he felt like he was on the spot with a critical issues directly dealing with his personal feelings. It was not something that he felt comfortable dealing with, and had it been anyone else but Kasumi he would have refused to give an answer. Somehow, the gentle inquisitiveness of his adoptive sister's stare prevented him from withdrawing into his private shell once again, so knowing of no other way to address the question he just blurted out the first thing to come into his mind, like always, "I think it's really unfair. I mean…I'm the one who should be in there with her. Nabiki…I…Shampoo…"

"Yes, I quite agree," Kasumi said as she looked away, "It is all so very confusing. You're her iinazuke, but she's also married to Shampoo, and they're having a child together. There's not much about this situation that seems very normal."

Ranma gave a short, bitter laugh and said, "You've got that right, Oneechan."

"But it is quite normal after all," Kasumi continued, surprising Ranma as he looked up to see her smile, which belied the sadness in her eyes, "Having babies is as natural as watching the sun come up every morning. What's unusual about it is that the child has two mothers, but other than that, it's perfectly ordinary."

"It is?" Ranma asked with mild confusion.

"People have babies every day, Ranma," Kasumi smiled at him, "It seems extraordinary to us, but to the people in this hospital it just seems like an average day. So what if the circumstances of her conception are unusual? Isn't the fact that we're about to experience the joy of a new life entering this world more important than how she came to be conceived?"

"Oneechan?" Ranma studied his "big sister" with a very puzzled expression.

"I'm happy for Shampoo and Nabiki," Kasumi continued, "Really, I am…and I want them to know how happy I'll be to help care of and raise this child, because it will be a part of all of us together, a new generation of our family, which makes her a promise of the future."

"Her?" Ranma asked, "You think it will be a girl then?"

"Oh," Kasumi looked startled, "Did I imply that? Well…I suppose it could be a boy, but it just seems natural to think of her as a girl baby. I don't know why…possibly because she has two mothers."

"I guess," Ranma said, then after a momentary pause he added, "Maybe I'm a little…I dunno…maybe I'm kinda jealous that it's Shampoo who's giving Nabiki this baby. I don't know why it should affect me, she's really a nice girl and everything, and I can see how happy she makes Nabiki."

"I understand," Kasumi smiled, "It's perfectly natural for you to feel this way, Ranma, but you know Nabiki cares for you too, and it's not as if she can't love both of you in different ways. You must have faith in her, just as I do. Everything will work out all right, you'll see."

"I hope so, Kasumi-chan," Ranma looked down and balled his fists as he thought about Nabiki, who was with Shampoo in the delivery room and had been for the better part of an hour. He silently prayed that everything would work out all right, because he had so many questions yet to be answered, about himself and about his feelings for all the women who had become a part of his life, and in whose lives he had become intertwined in ways beyond his understanding…

"What do you suppose those two are talking about?" asked Cammy as she glanced across the length of the waiting room at the young boy and girl whom she saw conversing together.

"Probably sharing a private, personal moment, and we should respect them," replied Chun-Li at her side, "You shouldn't be so nosy over something that really isn't any of our business."

"Oh yeah?" Cammy glared out the corner of her eye at the Chinese girl beside her, "And what makes you think it's none of our business, huh? We fought alongside that kid only a few months back, and we know he cares a lot about that sex-changing Amazon who's in there with another woman who's having her baby."

"Exactly my point," Chun-Li observed, "He's a valiant young man going through something that most kids his age shouldn't have to deal with."

"Oh yeah, Miss Prissy?" Cammy glared at her longtime rival, "And what makes you such an expert about lost youth? You're not the only one here with a hard-luck story!"

"At least I had a childhood, once long ago," Chun-Li replied calmly, though her eyes grew slitted as she returned the look her companion gave her, "I didn't grow up a street rat without any manners."

"Why you-!" Cammy started to say, when a gruff voice intruded on their pending altercation with crisp military precision.

"Enough, you two," Guile grated harshly, "This is a hospital where they're supposed to treat the sick and the injured. I won't have you turning it into a battleground for another one of your altercations."

"She started it!" came the immediate and inevitable chorus.

"Well, well," mused Madam Lao where she stood at ease to one side within sight of Guile's peripheral vision, "I see that not much has changed since you three left my company a while back. And here I would have thought you two would have learned to kiss and make up by now instead of carrying on with this adolescent rivalry of yours."

"You shut up!" Cammy growled, "The last thing we need is to have you provide the snide observations."

"Yes," Chun-Li agreed, "That's usually Cammy's assignment."

"Argh!" Cammy growled as she turned back towards her companion, "Why can't you just for once back me up instead of cutting me down? Would it kill you to make nice for once?"

"An interesting question," Chun-Li noted, "But just because we fight on the same side in the same team doesn't necessarily make us partners."

"Ah yes," Lao mused, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but she did try to kill your father once, correct? And you're still holding a grudge over that after all of these years, even though it was really Vega who ultimately killed him."

Now it was Chun-Li's turn to glare at the tall woman with pale sea green hair as the Chinese girl said with deceptive calm, "And what would you know about it?"

"Why, everything of course," Lao smiled, "While you were my guests, I made certain to probe your memories to determine what demons drive the two of you to be such exceptional fighters. You were, of course, the daughter of an Interpol agent who was also a master of Wu-Shu martial arts, a practitioner of a certain style known as the Zhan School, of which you and one Fei Long were both the star pupils. Then Shadowlaw recruited Miss White here to do a simple assassination job, programming her subliminally, as Vega has done to so many of his agents. She put your father in the hospital, but he made a full recovery and afterwards turned to his crusade against Shadowlaw with a vengeance. It was while on one particular raid against a village that was caught in the middle of a drug operation, at which you happened to be present, that you witnessed your father's execution at the hands of Vega himself. It gave you a renewed purpose in life and set you on the path of vengeance that you now follow."

"Not vengeance," Chun-Li said softly, "Only justice. I won't rest until I'm certain that he is dead and in hell to pay for his crimes against humanity. Nothing darker or more base will deter the purpose of my quest to see him permanently put out of business."

"Easier said than done, my dear," Lao replied with faint amusement, "And you'll have to get in line for that because I want him to suffer too, only I make no bones about my motives. He cost the lives of some people whom I cared about and hurt my business, for which I cannot forgive him. Ah, but let me not leave out our dear Miss White, here, yet another victim of Shadowlaw and it's foul demonic master."

"Eh?" Cammy's eyes widened with alarm.

"You're an orphan because of Shadowlaw," Lao replied, "Raised in a convent, you once thought about becoming a Nun, only the demons in your heart would not allow you the peace of a clerical calling. You chose instead to make your way on the streets, perfecting your martial arts style, first in the civilian world and later on by joining the British SAS. You rose to the rank of Lieutenant but ultimately found gainful employment in your country's intelligence services, first as a field agent and later an assassin."

Cammy was on her feet with fists raised, "You sucked that out of my head, you damned leech! You used your fancy Chinese tricks to worm that out of me, didn't you?"

"But of course," Lao replied without the least bit of concern in her expression, "There are no secrets on my vessel, and I have every right to know the quality of my guests when they come to me, as you did."

Cammy started to take a step forward when Guile barked out, "That's enough! Stand down, Lieutenant, that's an order!"

"No way!" Cammy growled, "She deserves to pay for her sins, and I'm just itching for a little payback!"

A movement to Cammy's right caused her to turn her attention and catch the sight of Chun-Li rising up from her seat to take a position beside her.

"If we're going to do it, then we do it together," she said with absolute calm, "Only we're not doing it here. Take it outside where we can do less damage to our surroundings."

"I would love to accommodate you, my dears," Lao smiled without moving from where she stood leaning against the wall next to Guile, "Only the weather outside would tend to give me an unfair advantage, not to mention make it very hard for me to concentrate my energies on remaining in my human form. If I should revert to my cursed form, then I fear you both would be at a distinct disadvantage."

"We're not afraid of you, Pussy-Cat!" Cammy growled, her fists still raised though she was clearly hesitating to make the first move.

"Excuse me," said one of the two Japanese women who had been sitting across from them the whole time, "But do you think you people could keep it down a bit? We don't want that head nurse to come along and make trouble."

"Yeah," agreed her partner, "You guys may think you're tough, but she's scary!"

Guile heaved a sigh to that, "I wish it was that simple, but you don't know these three like I do."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cammy growled, "And just who the hell are you two to be interrupting a private conversation?"

The first of the two women smiled and pulled out a leather case to reveal her badge as a Tokyo policewoman. As her companion did the same the first woman said, "I'm Kobayakowa Miyuki, and this is my partner, Sujimoto Natsumi. We're off-duty patrolwomen…"

"Yeah, and we were supposed to be enjoying our vacation," Natsumi said with a hopeless sigh of exasperated longing.

"Yes," Miyuki replied, "But since we are friends of the happy couple, it's only right that we be here to give them our support and best wishes on a safe and successful delivery of their baby."

"My, my," Lao mused with speculative interest, "What a lovely thing you are, and such excellent manners. You and your partner do make for an interesting contrast."

"Don't even think about it," Guile rumbled in warning.

"Uh," Natsumi frowned, "Don't take this the wrong way, lady…but who exactly are you guys? Are you some kind of special secret agents or something?"

"Colonel William Guile," replied the big blonde man with the bottlebrush haircut, taking his own ID card out from his jacket, "Special agent, United Nations. My companions are Inspector Chun-Li Zhan of Interpol, and my special attaché, Lieutenant Cammy White…"

"Special attaché," Chun-Li snorted, "I can think of a more appropriate title."

"Hey!" Cammy growled.

"And this," Guile pointedly ignored the exchange of barbed looks between his two female companions, nodding instead to the other tall woman leaning near to his side, "Is the notorious Madam Lao Kung, otherwise known as Lanocane the Pirate."

"Oh please," Lao sniffed, "Pirate has such loaded connotations. I prefer to call myself an entrepreneur of free trade and low import tariff…"

"Pirate?" Natsumi said with widened eyes, turning a worried glance at Miyuki, "Do you know anything about this?"

"I think I do," Miyuki stroked her chin with a thoughtful expression, "There are many reports of someone going by the name of Lao Kung who terrorizes innocent victims on the high seas, only there isn't any photograph or adequate description of what she looks like, only that she is wanted for a number of crimes ranging from White Slavery to Murder."

"Murder?" Lao arched pale eyebrows, "That's a little extreme, don't you think? I very rarely have to kill anyone in the course of my activities, and certainly no one from your country…at least that can be proven in a court of law."

"Are you denying that you are a Pirate and a Smuggler who deals in the illegal trade of human flesh?" Chun-Li asked archly.

"I neither confirm nor deny it in the presence of these two gallant officers," Lao replied serenely, "And without evidence of any crimes committed in Japan you haven't the probable cause to arrest me in their presence, not that I'm inclined to allow myself to be taken in, of course."

"Slaver!" Cammy glowered at her.

"So I like a little kinky sex on the side," Lao inclined her head, "Are you soliciting my services or just advertising?"

"Thief!" Chun-Li snapped.

"I prefer to be called a Capitalist, thank you."

"Rapist!" Cammy snarled.

"Did I leave you with that impression?" Lao affected wounded tones, "I may employ methods that are somewhat more unorthodox in terms of seduction, but you should know that I never truly force anyone to submit to my affections."

"Liar!" Chun-Li and Cammy cried together.

"SHHHH!!!" the Head Nurse appeared with an angry look that caused everyone to turn pale in her presence, "Keep it down out here or I'll have security toss the lot of you out of here! If you don't mind your voices and hold the noise level down…"

"We get the message, Ma'am," Guile said politely, standing to his full height before bowing deeply at the waist and adding, "I apologize for the rudeness of my companions and give you my assurances that it will not be repeated. Will it, ladies?"

"Ah," both Cammy and Chun-Li visibly wilted in his presence.

"I wasn't the one raising my voice," Lao replied as she held her hands out to imply her innocence, "But I will agree to abide by a truce and do no further to provoke an altercation."

"This whole thing just gets weirder and weirder," Natsumi muttered to herself, only to look up as a sopping wet figure came rushing up to join their party, slightly out of breath and looking more than a little bedraggled.

"Sorry I'm late," the new arrival gasped, "I rushed over here as soon as I got the news. Has Shampoo delivered yet? Is Nabiki with her? Tell me all ready!"

"No running in the corridors," the Head Nurse growled, "And dry yourself off! The last thing we need around here is another patient with pneumonia."

"Yeesh," the newcomer blinked, "Who are you, the Hall Monitor?"

"Oh, never mind her, Saki," smiled Miyuki, "I'm so glad you got my message. Did you have a difficult time finding your way here?"

"Yeah, I only had to wade through a monsoon that wasn't even supposed to be here today," replied the girl with long pink hair wearing a student uniform from one of the local high schools, "If it wasn't for some friends of mine from Tomokiki I'd never even have made it. So what's the word? Has she had the kid yet?"

"Not yet," Natsumi smiled, "But it hasn't been an hour yet, so you might as well pull up a chair and have a seat with the rest of the weirdoes."

"Weirdoes?" Saki seemed to take notice of the others at that moment then gasped and went into a battle crouch, producing a yo-yo in one hand, "Madam Lao! What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Asamiya Saki," Lao said with a leering smile, "It has been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Uh…who's this?" Cammy asked of the two off-duty cops.

"Oh, Saki's just a friend of ours from the Vice division," Miyuki replied with a pleasant smile.

"It figures she'd know more about this lady than either one of us," Natsumi sighed, "We don't get too many Pirate cases in the Traffic division, though in all truth we have seen more than our share of the nutcases."

"Nutcases?" Saki snorted, "Do you guys have any idea who this lady is or what she's capable of, or the things that she's done in the past?"

"Actually yes," Chun-Li replied.

"We've got a fair notion," Cammy seconded.

"Then how can you be sitting around with her like this as if she's some kind of Social worker?" Saki asked, "The number of crimes that she's involved in alone would sink that rat-infested Chinese barge of hers!"

"Now Detective Saki," Lao said reasonably, "Surely that's an exaggeration on your part. You know that there is no proof of my involvement in any extra-legal activities, other than the personal testimony of those present, which cannot be corroborated without hard evidence on your part, and would otherwise have taken place in international waters, which hardly qualifies as being in your jurisdiction. I will forgive that your memories of your visit to my ship are somewhat cloudy and uncertain, but surely you don't have cause to seek me out for personal redress, not here in this place of healing?"

"You sure have a way of making a lasting impression on people, lady," Guile grunted to the side, "At ease, Detective. We've got an informal truce going here, and it won't do anyone any good if try and pick a fight with the big, bad tiger lady."

"And just who the hell are you?" Saki asked, turning to Miyuki and Natsumi, "I come here expecting to see the Tendos and instead I find a bunch of foreigners who look like they belong in a circus!"

Cammy cracked a smirk and said, "Y'know something? I like her! She reminds me of me."

"You would," Chun-Li remarked, "Except that she has much better manners."

Guile presented his credentials once again and made terse introductions then said, "We're friends of the family, so-to-speak. You want the Tendos, they're gathered over that way, closer to the reception desk."

"Friends of the Tendos?" Saki frowned, standing more at ease as she cast another glare in Lao's direction, "Then what are you here for?"

"Why shouldn't I be here?" Lao asked, "Shampoo is my niece, and in spite of what you think of me personally, you should know that family is very important to an Amazon, my dear. Or at least you should know, given that you have some Amazon blood in your own veins."

Saki glared at her but the yo-yo disappeared from her hand and she stood at a somewhat more relaxed posture. After another moment of silence she sniffed and said, "Well, there's no accounting for bad relations, if I'm anyone to know that. Just watch your back around me, lady, and keep those hands of yours to yourself."

"And why don't you dry off before you catch a chill?" Lao smiled, waving a hand in Saki's direction as moisture suddenly flew off the Detective's body, leaving her school uniform and pink hair as dry as if wind-blown, "And perhaps, if you but give me half a chance, I may be able one day to improve your opinion about me."

"I doubt that," Saki replied but pointedly turned away from Lao and stormed off in the direction of the Tendos.

"Weird," Natsumi remarked as she studied the retreating backside of the Sukeban Deka.

"Oh, I don't know," Miyuki smiled, "I was just thinking to myself that you can meet the most interesting people just hanging around in this precinct. Our vacation may have been rained on but the afternoon certainly hasn't lacked for entertainment."

"Oh sure," snorted Natsumi, "With gods and monsters roaming about the place, what's there to be bored about? I just wish somebody was handing out program guides, it's awfully hard to keep track of who's who. I almost feel like an Otaku in an Anime convention."

"Otaku?" Guile smiled grimly, "Yeah, right…like anybody could dream up something like this. Just wish I could shake the feeling that I'm just a supporting character in this comedy-drama…"

"What the heck is that all about?" asked Aiko from where she and Beatrice were sitting together, having observed the near-altercation that had taken place between the members of Guile's party.

"I would imagine it's like a class reunion over there," Beatrice remarked, "I believe I heard someone refer to the tiger lady as a Pirate."

"Huh," Aiko sulked, "We've run into no shortage of them in our time. At least if she's the terrestrial sort she's more-or-less relatively harmless."

"Unlike the two of us, of course," Beatrice smiled serenely, "But that hardly goes without saying."

"Beiko," Aiko glanced sidelong at the silver-haired girl who had long been her antagonist but only recently taken on a different significance altogether, "What do you think is taking so long in there? Shouldn't we have heard something about her having the kid by now? Why all this endless waiting?"

"Now, now," Beatrice replied, "Some things are not meant to be rushed, Alison. All in good time. I'm sure they're doing everything that they can to make Shampoo as comfortable as can be managed."

"It's so weird," Aiko remarked, "Her having a kid like that by another woman. This shapechanging stuff with all the switching of genders…how do you suppose that Nabiki copes with it?"

"I don't really know," Beatrice reflected, "It certainly isn't a very conventional situation, but I suppose she has managed to adjust to the inconvenience. At the very least I find the whole experience quite fascinating. Do you have any idea how many new fields of biotechnology might be opened up by research into this matter?"

"I'm not sure I want to know," Aiko replied, "In fact, can we even be sure that the kid is going to be human?"

"And why wouldn't she be?" Beatrice wondered, "There's certainly nothing wrong with combining the genetic material of two perfectly healthy female subjects to create a viable offspring. We both observed an even more unusual birthing process during our brief stay on Alpha Signi."

"Yeah, but how do you raise a kid like that?" Aiko asked, "And what is she going to call Nabiki? Her father?"

"Well, she is part male, at least some of the time," Beatrice observed, "But I was also referring to the nature of this curse itself and what it might teach us about the fine line that separates our technical knowledge from viable magic. It would be interesting to determine the mechanism by which the change itself is affected. Perhaps a trip to Jusenkyo for some samples of their spring water would be in order…"

"Sure you want to risk it?" Aiko asked, "You might fall in and get one of those animal curses."

"Or perhaps the male one?" Beatrice noted with obvious amusement, "I wonder what you would look like as a guy? I'd imagine that you'd be very buff and actually quite handsome."

"Urk?" Aiko reacted, not at all liking the speculative look that she was receiving from her companion.

"No," Beatrice inclined her head, "On second thought, I like you just the way you are, not that it wouldn't be fascinating to explore the implications of what you might do with a man's body. For example…it might even be possible for the two of us to wind up as parents."

"What?" Aiko almost jumped out of her seat but for the nervous glance she turned towards the Head Nurse, who was glaring right at them, "Are you crazy? That's the most…!"

"Incredible thing that you have ever heard about?" Beatrice turned fully towards Aiko with an expression that was unusually softened and full of frank emotion, "Surely I've made it plain enough to you by now that I want us to be together. I know it's not something you want to hear at the present, Aiko, but I am very much attracted to you, and I've no intention of repeating the mistakes that I've made in the past. Perhaps a relationship is something we both need to help bring our lives back into focus. I've felt so empty since we returned from space with our mission such a failure, and all I've been able to think about these last few months is you and what you might be doing."

"Beiko…" Aiko was caught between conflicting emotions, wanting to escape from the look the other woman was giving her and yet simultaneously possessed of a need to hold her and give comfort.

"I don't expect you to answer right away," Beatrice continued, "In fact I'd be surprised if you'd be willing to jump into an affair so swiftly after everything that we have gone through together. We're both still recovering from Celeste and the sense of rejection that came when she chose to remain with her mother's people and be their Princess."

"Ah…" Aiko looked away unsteadily and found herself conjuring up the image of a cheerful blonde girl who could be both annoying and vexing at times but who had been her closest friend and childhood companion. She could not form a coherent reply to her companion's statement so she just sat where she was until she heard Beatrice continue.

"Ceiko," Beatrice whispered the word with a curious mix of regret and intense longing, "I never really understood my attraction for her, but in a way I guess it does make sense that I would be drawn to a member of the royal family for the Lepton Empire. After all, they were bred to be the charismatic focus of their entire civilization, the glue that would hold it together."

"What do you mean?" Aiko turned to regard her silver-haired companion.

"Well, think of it," Beatrice smiled, "An entire civilization in which there are no men, and all reproduction is conducted through artificial means of gestation and incubation? It's very hard to build the sort of family ties that cement together the civilizations of our world without the strong bonds of family and group heritage. Though Queen Aleph is biologically Ceiko's mother, she and her daughter never really had a physical relationship as such, nor did they probably ever meet. In fact, that spaceship that originally crashed down in the site of Graviton city was carrying the incubatory container that had Celeste in it, which is how she came to arrive on earth and be adopted into the Kotobuki family, by the Chairman of the corporation no less."

"Yeah, so?" Aiko wondered.

"Haven't you thought it odd that nearly everyone who meets Ceiko almost automatically falls in love with her?" Beatrice asked, "Including Kei, the guy we both got into that awful fight over?"

"I remember you flashing yourself like a shameless hussy trying to get his attention," Aiko glowered.

Rather than be offended, Beatrice seemed even more amused by her friend's reaction, "As I recall it, you were trying just as hard to win him for yourself, but neither one of us had even a prayer of attracting his notice whenever Ceiko was in the room. Now isn't that perfectly odd, considering how Celeste herself couldn't stand his attentions?"

"Now that you mention it," Aiko said with a frown, "Yeah, that was pretty odd. Why was it he was interested in her instead of us?"

Beatrice closed her eyes and gave a very small sigh, "Because he was affected by the same thing that affected the two of us. It took me a while to figure it out, but now that I know more about Lepton biotechnology, it would only make sense that they would engineer their royal family to have very powerful charisma. I'd theorize a combination of pheromones and sub-harmonic modulation in her voice, which is why she could be so shrill and inept in her behavior and yet still gain favorable attention. It might even be that there is a Psionic field she emits that increases the power of her charisma. It would make sense if their royalty had these abilities in order to win the complete allegiance of their people."

"You think so?" Aiko asked, glancing down, "Well, it sure can't be because of their brains, because her mother has even less of them than Ceiko. Hey, wait a minute! If Ceiko has these abilities, then why aren't I affected?"

"Who's saying that you weren't?" Beatrice replied, "But in your case you may have built up a resistance from constantly being in her presence. Even so, you were her defender, and I resented you for that from the day we first met at that special research clinic."

"The way I remember it, you used to tease Ceiko and put frogs and snakes down her blouse," Aiko snorted.

"Which, I suppose, was my way of showing affection," Beatrice quirked a smile, "I wasn't a very good girl myself even back then. In fact, it's only recently that I've come to question my whole life and what I have been doing with my talents, which is why I'm so interested in making a new beginning. I want to turn the page on what I was before we began our abortive mission, before I died and had these nanobots placed inside me to restore me to life and health. In effect, the old me died out there, and there's a new me here and now in the present who wants the chance to start over…and yet I'm still vain enough to hope that maybe you'd be willing to help me, Alison."

"Huh?" Aiko murmured softly, turning back to share a look with the other girl as her large brown eyes were drunk in by the cobalt blue eyes of her companion, right before a shadow fell over the both of them, causing them to look up with matching startled exclamations.

"There you are, Aiko," said a very tall and powerfully built man in a three-piece suit whose dark hair and blue eyes gave him an imposing appearance that was only slightly diminished by a pair of horn rim glasses.

"Dad?" Aiko exclaimed as she stood up, "Mom? What are you doing here?"

"We came to find you, young lady," said a woman almost as tall as the man-nearly six feet even-whose black hair and blue eyes gave her the appearance of timeless youth not even diminished by the wire-rim glasses that she was sporting, "We've heard that you've been keeping busy on your first day at a new school."

"Oh, you-um-heard about that?" Aiko winced.

"Ah yes," the man remarked, "I was only notified about it myself at the last minute, but by then it was all over except for the cleanup. I trust you had something to do with that?"

"Ah," Aiko visibly wilted, "Dad…about that, I can explain everything…!"

"Allow me, Aiko," Beatrice stood up and took her place beside her redheaded companion, bowing to the two adults before saying with perfect manners, "Allow me to introduce myself to you, honored parents of my friend. I am Daitokuji Beatrice, a fellow classmate at Alison's old school and current one. I was there beside your daughter helping her to protect the public from a monster invasion. You would be very proud of your little girl, as am I, because without her efforts there is no telling how things might have ended."

"Hah?" Aiko blinked her eyes, unable to believe that Beatrice was giving her so much credit for her part in the whole engagement.

"Daitokuji," the tall man adjusted his glasses and studied the other girl, "Your father is the head of Daitokuji Enterprises?"

"Alas, to my shame," Beatrice inclined her head in a humble nod, "I believe that my father is an old adversary of yours, as was my grandfather before him. I ask that you not judge me by the same standards as I have quite recently parted ways with my father over a personal issue, which must remain between the two of us. I hope that I may be given the chance that you both come to look upon me as a very different sort from either of my progenitors."

"I'm sure we can set aside past issues and ignore things best left in the past," the dark haired woman replied as she glanced at her husband, "Right, Clark dear?"

"Ah," the man had to smile at the look his wife gave him, "If you say so, Diana. Still…it is an interesting pedigree you have there, young lady."

"I like to think that I contain the best aspects of my father and mother's inheritance," Beatrice glanced down, "Of course, you may already know of me by a certain reputation, much of it true, that was entirely my fault and is something else I would like to move beyond."

"Yes," the man said, "I've heard your name mentioned frequently when Aiko was going to Graviton High. You two made quite a lot of noise last semester."

"All in the past," Beatrice said quite firmly, "You have my word on that. In fact, I now consider Aiko to be my closest friend and someone with whom I have already shared many a harrowing adventure."

"Oh yes," Diana said as she looked hard at a wilting Aiko, "Those weeks during school break when your father and I couldn't find you. We never did get a full account of what you were doing with yourself while your father and I were called away to other business."

"Aiko was helping me with a vital research project," Beatrice said politely, "In fact, it was during that time that we grew very close together. In fact, I would not wish to put her on the spot here, but as there are few secrets between Aiko and myself…"

"Hah?" Aiko did not think she liked the drift of this conversation.

"…And you can trust me that I would never do anything to bring harm or disgrace to either Aiko or her family," Beatrice continued, "For I know how special she is, coming from such a noble line of warriors and heroes."

"Oh…do you now?" asked Diana, and for a long moment there was silence between them.

"I…see," her father said slowly, "Is this true, Aiko-chan? Have you really been that busy?"

"Ah…" Aiko cringed inwardly, feeling very much on the spot but unable to frame a coherent reply that might help her dig herself out of what was becoming a very compromising situation.

"I see," her father repeated again, glancing down before sighing, "Well, I can't say that I completely understand, but since it is your life, and you are growing into a fine young woman in your own right, I suppose it's not my place to tell you who your friends are or what you both might be doing together. I just want you to know that whatever choice you make, your mother and I support you."

"N-Nani?" Aiko blinked her eyes in her surprise, "Dad…!"

"What your father is trying to say is that we do understand," Diana smiled, taking her husband by the arm and inclining her head against his broad shoulders, "After all, it's the Nineties and very soon to be a whole new Millennium, my fourth, as a matter of course. And you are of Amazon birth, which entitles you to assert your rights of independence…something I never really got from my mother. Besides, it's no great secret these days that we of Paradise Island found other ways to amuse ourselves without men in our existence…not that I've anything to complain about life with your father."

"Hah-what?" Aiko blinked, her mind now awhirl with too much sensory input.

"I thank you both for doing me this great honor," Beatrice bowed to them, "And I promise you that I will do everything in my power to see to your daughter's happiness."

"What?" Aiko was now thoroughly alarmed, "Now wait a minute, Beiko…"

"Ho, what's this?" a robust voice intruded on their conversation, "I go off to get you kids something to snack upon and you called in a family reunion?"

Everyone turned to see the broad-shouldered man clutching a tray in his brawny hands upon which was resting three huge bowls of ice cream with whipping and cherry toppings.

"Grandpa?" Aiko blinked.

"Lord Herakles," Beatrice acknowledged.

"Father?" asked Diana, even more surprised than the others, "What are you doing here in this place?"

"Hey now," Hercules replied, "Can't a man spend some quality time with his favorite granddaughter? I should be asking what you and Clark here are doing back in town. I thought you had one of those JLA meetings to attend or something."

"It was called off at the last minute," Clark turned around with a casual smile at the hulking man-god, "In fact, we were informed only a short time ago that Aiko here had been involved in an incident and we were trying to get more details."

"Oh hey," Hercules grinned, "I can tell you all about that! The little squirt's been like a chip off the old marble block. In fact, if you have the time I'll bring you up to date about how she helped us reel in a couple of genuine monsters."

"We'd be only two delighted," Diana replied, and her husband gave his own tacit nod of agreement.

Aiko looked around like a trapped animal, then put a hand up to her head and said, "Why me?" in tones of finality which implied that she was doomed by the fates to suffer a very strange sort of family reunion. When Beatrice laid a hand on her shoulder it was both reassuring and alarming for what it conveyed in terms of both support and commitment. The events of her life were spiraling out of control and she had no clue whatsoever how to assert herself back over the situation. She did not want to reveal the full truth of what she had been doing to her parents for fear of being grounded for life but was equally uncertain if she could live up to the sort of account that she was likely to receive from her legendary forebear.

She wondered if anyone else within a thousand leagues was going through these sorts of relationship problems, but somehow doubted it. After all, these kinds of crazy things only happened to your average run-of-the-mills progeny of Superheroic unions, such as herself, not ordinary people whose lives were blessed by more mundane and routine real-life problems…

"Oh yes!" sighed Kodachi with great enthusiasm, "This is definitely so much better than merely taking a warm shower together, eh Kei-chan?"

"No argument from me," Keiko smiled as she lounged besides Kodachi in the hot-tub whirlpool that was normally used by physical therapy patients, "Of course, it would be better if we were back at your place enjoying the good life."

"You two sure look happier than I remember," Akane mused as she rested her chin on both arms and inclined herself against the outside of the whirlpool, "What have you been doing with yourselves all of this time?"

"Oh, this and that, my dear Akane-chan," Kodachi leered, "Between lessons with Captain Lao and…exploring certain deep facets of our mutual relationship, Kei-chan and I have been managing to keep ourselves busy. In point of fact, why don't you step in here and allow us to bring you up to date with the particulars and specifics?"

Akane's smile showed a great enthusiasm to accept that naughty suggestion at face value, but instead she turned a coy look to the side and said, "Wish I could, but this is hardly the time or place. Ryoga's keeping an eye out for any of the hospital staff who might happen by, but I don't want to think of what might happen if they caught us."

"Oh nonsense," Kodachi said with an airy wave of her hand, "You must be soaked to the bone as it is in that wet clothing. Come inside and let us thaw you out."

"Yeah," Keiko grinned sweetly, "In fact I know lots of great techniques that can set you on fire if you're willing to risk a little naughty indulgence."

"Sure sounds like you two have been having a great time," Ukyo remarked, turning to Perfume, who was also soaking on the other end of the whirlpool, "And I thought you were the daring one."

"I'll be happy to demonstrate if you have any doubt of that," Perfume smiled at her wife, "But keep in mind that these two have had the benefit of an Amazon education. My people know secret techniques of pleasure that we only share with those we feel closest to, not that I don't share their sentiments about having you stand around looking like a drowned rat."

"No thanks," Ukyo smiled, "I'm not that daring, and besides…aren't you worried about your mother being just outside the door, Keiko? She might come in here at any moment."

"So what if she does?" Keiko inclined her head with a smile, "You think it'd be the first time that she saw me and 'Dachi naked? C'mon you two prudes, live a little! Take the plunge and get it over with. You know you want to."

"Ah…" Akane said, exchanging a look with Ukyo as if both girls were daring one another to get naked in the presence of their respective loved ones. There was more than the issue of shyness involved here, for Akane did not want to intrude into the ardor that her two best friends so obviously felt for one another, while Ukyo had not as yet overcome her own deep-rooted reservations about disrobing in front of other women (besides Perfume, of course).

There was a gentle rapping on the door, then a distinctively male voice said, "I'm coming in, are all of you decent?"

"No!" Keiko called out, "But you can come in if you like, 'Tachi-chan."

"Oh you," Kodachi rolled her eyes then said, "It's all right to come in, dear Brother. In fact, I'm rather hoping that we could have a chance to talk together."

Tatawaki stepped into the room with Lady Akiko standing beside him and another girl whom Kodachi had only briefly glimpsed while still in cursed form. Ryoga remained outside and seemed rather determined not to look in as he stood at his post in the hallway, blushing like a radish.

Tatawaki came up to within three paces of the whirlpool then squared his shoulders and looked straight into the eyes of his younger sister. With great resolve he said, "Little Sister…what I have to say should be said in private for our ears alone, but as it does involve these others I might as well say it before them. I am happy to see you restored to us again, but I am not happy with you for other important reasons."

"Yes," Kodachi said soberly, "I'd be very surprised if you were glad to see me, all things else being considered. I can't imagine what it's been like for you these past few months, recovering from an addiction that was entirely my doing."

"That is part of it, yes," Tatawaki said, "I have had to climb over great obstacles in order to regain both my sanity and state of mind, thanks in no small part to the good graces of this brave young woman beside me. I could think of better circumstances under which to introduce you two, but this is my good friend, Tendo Natsume."

"Natsume," Kodachi mused, "Akane-chan's cousin. How do you do, I am Kuno Kodachi…"

"Please," Natsume said hastily, "Don't get up on my account. I've heard so much about you, I figured that it was time for the two of us to meet. I must say, you don't look to be quite so insane as I've heard in the rumors."

"Rumors that were unfortunately true," Kodachi replied, "But I have changed for the better, so please don't judge me for what I was. Give me the chance to redeem myself in your eyes, as I must surely work to earn the respect and good graces of my brother, Tachi."

"I'm hoping that I will have that opportunity," Natsume replied, "But it will be hard to forget what your brother has been going through for the past several weeks. I was there with him and saw first-hand the effects of withdrawal from those poisons you fed him."

"Poisons," Kodachi said sadly, "And here I was deluded enough to think that I was doing you a favor, Brother, using my Pharmacology skills to help the both of us deal with a family crisis."

"That may have been your intentions, sister," Tatawaki replied, "But we both know that good intentions do not necessarily result in a favorable outcome."

"Indeed," Kodachi replied, and then a sly look came into her eyes as she said, "You like her, don't you brother? In truth, you've always had a weakness for the daughters of the house of Tendo. How remarkable to find one who actually seems to return your affections."

"Huh?" Keiko blinked, taking a hard look at the newcomer.

"Ah…" both Tatawaki and Natsume seemed to hesitate for a moment, then each exchanged furtive glances at the other.

"Not that I can fault you in either instance," Kodachi resumed, favoring Akane with an affectionate look, "In fact, I quite understand the fascination that one can feel in the presence of a Tendo. I'd be a fine one to complain, and I'm quite ecstatic to find Tachi looking so happy, or to find a woman who is actually pleased to be in his company for a change. We really must have a chance to get to know one another better."

Natsume looked uncertain about that, while Keiko frowned and slipped a hand under the water to pinch Kodachi, earning a slight yelp and a puzzled look from her quarter.

Ukyo leaned close to Perfume's ear and said, "What do you suppose all of that means?"

"I'm not sure I want to know," the Amazon replied at the same level of a stage-whisper.

"You young people are so full of energy and vitality," Lady Akiko mused, "In truth, it is good to be back in the outer world and among such vibrant surroundings. I have missed the life that I once knew and I am so looking forward to picking up where I left off with Guile-san."

"Dad sure seemed happy to see you again, Mom," Keiko grinned, "Of course, you may have some competition with those two agents who work with him. I never figured my dad could be such a real stud!"

"Indeed," Akiko mused, "I will have to get to know them both, won't I, and sound them out to see what feelings they each may have towards my Guile-san. If so, then I think I may be able to work out an interesting arrangement."

"Suddenly I'm starting to worry about the big guy," Ukyo mused, "And I thought we were the ones with the unconventional lifestyle."

"That just shows how much you know, Airen," Perfume said sweetly…

"Well, Godai-san," remarked Soun to Principal Kuno, "You must be happy to finally have your daughter back with you again all safe and sound."

"Am I?" Principal Kuno replied with a faintly troubled expression, "Guess so, maybe. Little Wahini been away bad long time, but no tell what trouble she get from da law. Da big Kahuna maybe keep her outta jail, but getting her past da school board's gonna be trouble."

"Oh, there may be a few troubles on that account," Nodoka remarked, "But I should think that you'd be relieved knowing that she is well after everything your family has been through. I know if Ranma had been gone for three months with hardly a word about where he was then I would be terribly worried about him. The same would be true of either Kasumi or Akane…"

"Or Nabiki," Genma added for her, "The girl can handle herself well enough, but in spite of her skills and good instincts, she is still pretty young, and from what we've heard about this Madam Lao…"

"Don't get me wrong," Godai said, "Da big Kahuna's glad to have my little Wahini back, it's just dat dere's gonna a lotta of trouble now now, and da police want to ask lotsa questions about dat stuff she gave ta Tachi. I already called my lawyers, but dere's no telling how things could go, so in a way I've kinda been hopin' she'd continue traveling abroad 'til things cooled down a bit."

"Surely that won't be such a problem for you," Soun noted, "You've always managed to avoid dealing with the consequences of your children's misbehavior."

"Tendo-san," Miss Hinako chided, "That's very mean of you to bring that up. Can't you see that the Principal has a lot on his mind and doesn't need to have it rubbed in that both of his children are former delinquents?"

"Eh?" Godai looked at the diminutive teacher from beneath his dark sunglasses. He heaved a sigh at last and said, "Well, I know Tachi and Dachi always been a little high spirited, but da big Kahuna never really thought of dem as delinquents."

"There's another way of describing them?" Genma asked, "Although to be fair, your boy has been making real progress in recovering from his addiction."

"Natsumi has been a big help with that, don't you think?" Nodoka smiled, "In fact, I think your niece has become very fond of the boy, and she's been with him almost every day of late."

"Really?" Soun asked as if surprised that no one had ever brought this to his attention, "Do you really think so?"

"Well hey," Godai smiled, "She a nice girl, only why ain't I never see her round da school? She and a other little wahini, her sister, ain't been playing hooky, have dey?"

"Oh no, sir," Hinako brightened, "The truth is they don't even have transcripts and haven't been attending school for many years. I've been tutoring them both, however, and hope to admit them into regular classes with the fall semester."

"Any excuse to come around our place," Nodoka muttered under her breath, so softly that only Genma could hear her.

"Oh," Godai said, "Good then, I s'pose I could give them 'em da traditional greeting for new students at Furinkan, a traditional haircut…"

"Ah…I don't think that would be too appropriate," Soun said as charitably as he was able, "She is a girl, you know, and girls are justly proud about the length of their hair. It wouldn't do to shave my niece as bald as a billiard."

"You mean like Saotome-san?" Hinako asked.

"Hey!" Genma protested.

"Naw, don't mean dat short," Godai assured, "Just a nice clean trim around de edges…"

A brief, heated discussion opened up on the subject of mandatory haircuts for teenagers, prompting Cologne to sadly shake her head as she watched this exchange from where she stood beside Happosai.

"The more things change…" she sighed.

"Hey, they never really change all that much," Happosai noted as he took a puff on his pipe, "You and me've been around enough to know that, old woman."

"Maybe so," Cologne remarked, "And some of us change even less often than others. Aren't you going to put that thing out? It's not polite to smoke in the middle of a hospital."

"Ah, put a sock on it already," Happosai snorted, "A man my age is entitled to a few of life's pleasures, and besides, who's going to make me…"

As if in answer to his question a hand snatched the pipe away, and when Happosai started to protest the Head Nurse Nagano growled at him, "No smoking, have you got that, little man?"

"Eep!" Happosai's eyes got very wide as if the woman intimidated like no one else whom he had recently recovered, "Yes Ma'am. I'll behave!"

"I rest my case," Cologne sighed as she eyed the ancient pervert slyly…

"Gee," Ryonami said where she sat near at hand beside Gosunkugi, "They've been in there so long. I hope Sempai and Shampoo are all right."

"Well, it's too soon to tell either way," Gosunkugi assured her, "Some women deliver their babies in a matter of minutes, and some can take as long as a day and a half, like I did."

"Your mother was in delivery for over a day and a half?" Ryonami sounded appalled.

"Oh, but I'm sure it won't take that long with Shampoo," Gosunkugi hastily assured, "She's an Amazon, right? And they're supposed to be pretty tough."

"I guess so," Ryonami said, "I sure hope it's true. She and Sempai are so happy together, they deserve the happiness that having a child together can bring them."

"Yeah, but…" Gosunkugi hesitated, "What about her relationship with Ranma?"

"Huh?" Ryonami asked, "What about Ranma?"

"It's just…I can't figure him out, that's all," Gosunkugi said, "Why is he being so understanding about all of this? He's got to be having some mixed feelings. After all, he's got this five-way engagement to marry four girls, and two of them are pregnant by somebody other than him. That's got to be a tough thing for a guy with his kind of ego to deal with."

"Now why would you say that?" Ryonami asked crossly, "I think it's very sweet that he's been so nice about everything. It's really that Ukyo's fault for letting herself be seduced when her wife switched curses with Sempai and…well, I guess that didn't sound quite the way I meant it to sound, but…"

"I think we should both quit while we're ahead," Gosunkugi smiled, then added, "I'm in Sempai's corner, you know that. I just can't figure that Ranma out. He's really got it made, and all the other guys at our school envy him for having some of the best looking women on campus following him. I guess in a way I envy him. People don't look at him like he's a scarecrow…"

"Scarecrow?" Ryonami looked at the boy whom she had worked alongside for many months in the service of Nabiki.

"Sure," Gosunkugi sulked, "Guys look at me and they don't even see a shadow. I'm not worth the trouble for bullies to even beat up in the morning. I'd have to pay them to even give me the time and attention."

"That's not true!" Ryonami said, "You're very noticeable, Gosunkugi-san. Uh…I mean, you're smart, and you can be pretty brave when you want. I'm the one who nobody ever pays any attention to…"

"Huh?' Gosunkugi looked at the brown haired girl, "What are you talking about?"

"Well…look at me," Ryonami said, "I'm just a plain, ordinary girl, nothing special about me, not like anybody would ever pay me any notice…"

"You've got to be kidding," Gosunkugi replied, "You're a pretty girl, and I'm sure lots of people notice you…"

"Not really," Ryonami shrugged, "Next to Sempai, Shampoo or even that Tomboy, Ukyo, I might as well be a limp dishrag." She paused a moment then looked at him and said, "You really think I'm pretty?"

"Ah…" Gosunkugi glanced away, and for once his face actually had some color, "Y-yeah, I think you're pretty all right. What, has nobody ever said that to you before?"

"Not lately," Ryonami smiled, "But it was a nice thing for you to say. Thank you."

"Ah…don't mention it," Gosunkugi wilted, "Um…I sure hope it doesn't take too much longer."

"Me too," Ryonami said, still smiling at the shy boy beside her, who might indeed look like something you would hang out in a corn field somewhere, but he did have some redeeming points, and he was a good enough companion in a way. At the very least he had managed to cheer her up, which was certainly another good point in his favor…

Kurumi glanced in past the door where her sister was talking with the Kuno woman and the others then glanced back towards Ryoga and said, "They're still at it. So far nobody's been shouting at anybody and no one's gotten into a fight. It's just plain boring, as usual."

Ryoga heaved a sigh, "I hope they won't be too long. I keep thinking somebody is going to discover us at any minute and we're all going to get in a lot of trouble."

"Hey, Ryoga-kun?" rather be Kurumi asked, "Why are you standing around out here?

Wouldn't you inside there with Akane?"

"With…Akane?" Ryoga's voice squeaked a little.

"Hey, she's not naked or anything," Kurumi assured him.

"N-Naked?" Ryoga's tone rose another octave.

"Oh brother," Kurumi sighed, "You've really got to work on this problem of shyness you have, or you're never going to get anywhere with cousin Akane."

Ryoga's chin rested against his chest as he studied his feet and said, "I know…but what am I supposed to do? I want to tell her how I feel being around her, but the words just don't come out the way I mean them."

"Why don't you try writing her a poem?" Kurumi suggested.

"A poem?" Ryoga reacted.

"Sure," Kurumi smiled, "I've seen you write letters to her, only you always tear them up and throw them away before you're finished. You ought to try giving them to her instead, I think you write very well, and some girls are real suckers for a poem."

"You really think so?" Ryoga asked.

"Oh yeah," Kurumi said, then her expression fell into a much more somber look as she said, "My sister sure seems to like the way that Tatawaki guy talks all the time, and I guess that's sort-of like poetry. I think you write a whole lot better than he talks anyway, so you really ought to try it."

"But I'd…" Ryoga looked away, "I'd feel so nervous giving something like that to her. I don't know what I'd do if she didn't like it…"

"Hey," Kurumi said, "It's all right. If it's from you, then she'll like it. Cousin Akane really likes you, you know, so why don't you give it a…chance?"

Kurumi paused, glancing over her shoulder. A faint sound caught her attention, and after a few moments of cocking her ears she started to think it was coming from someplace very close at hand.

Ryoga, of course, hardly noticed that she was no longer paying him attention, instead balling his fists as he said, "Yes, you're right! I should be a man about this and show her exactly how I feel. I'll write her something special that's sure to let her know the way I…"

"Shhh!" Kurumi urged, waving a hand in his direction.

"Huh?" Ryoga asked, glancing over his shoulder in her direction.

"I heard something," she informed him, then she glanced straight up, "It's coming from the ventilation system!''

"Something's in the ventilation system?" Ryoga asked, "Are you sure?"

"Positive!" Kurumi hesitated a moment then pointed, "It's up in there! Can't you hear the claws scratching?"

"Then let's see what it is," Ryoga followed the line of her gaze, then made a fist and leaped up to punch in the nearest overhead ventilation duct. While still in mid-air his hand snagged hold of something warm and furry, and with a grunt of satisfaction he yanked it hard out of the air vent.

To his considerable surprise and dismay he found himself clutching a lower primate in his hand. There was a mutual look of confusion as Ryoga returned to the ground holding the creature at arm's length, then in a halting voice he gasped, "A-a monkey?"

Suddenly the creature made a face and bared savage fangs that caused Ryoga to gasp, one second before the creature bit him!

"Ahhhh!" Ryoga cried as he let go of the creature, "Stupid monkey! It bit me!"

"A monkey?" Kurumi stared at the creature as it started to scamper away, only she managed to snap out of her daze in time to promptly snatched the ribbon out of her hair and with one quick motion snapped it out like a whip to ensnare the primate.

The creature, though smaller than herself, proved surprisingly adept at using its mass to turn the tables on Kurumi, grasping the ribbon in both hands as it twisted its body and used its long arms to yank her off-balance, trying to free itself in the process. As fast as it was, though, Kurumi proved much faster and recovered from her surprise at the intelligence of that maneuver, reversing her momentum as she caught her weight on both feet and yanked hard, pulling the ape off of its feet and hurling it with all the force that she could muster towards the double doors leading to the Physical Therapy room. It crashed through and continued on in, arcing with inevitable direction towards the whirlpool hot tub, much to the collective starts of amazement from everyone else who was presently in that chamber.

It landed with a splash, startling Kodachi, Keiko and Perfume, then only a few seconds later a head emerged from the water, followed by the rest of his body as Mousse coughed and sputtered, then looked around, took one glance at the brown haired woman to one side and cried, "Perfume? Perfume! I've found you!"

Somehow he managed to throw his arms around the right girl, but Perfume's paralysis proved to be only momentary and she promptly caught him on the chin with an uppercut that picked him up and hurled him out of the water. Meanwhile Keiko and Kodachi overcame their own dumbstruck reactions to let out a mutual screech of dismay as they covered their upper bodies.

"GAK!" Akane covered her face and turned away, "Put something on, you Baka!"

"Perfume?" asked a naked Mousse with wounded pride as he lay where he landed on the floor of the room, "I came all this way looking for you, why don't you want to see me?"

"Huh?" Kurumi stood to one side of the man with widened eyes, then promptly she covered them and looked away with a cry of, "Where did he come from? Get some clothes on! EE--yew!"

A wooden bokken was thrust under Mousse's chin before he had time to form any sort of reaction, and in a level tone of voice Tatawaki said, "Speak, churl! Why have you invaded the privacy of my sister's bath? Speak now or I will deal swiftly with you for your insolent presumption."

"Perfume?" Mousse said plaintively, ignoring the threat of the wooden sword as he tried to seek out the object of his affections.

"Who is this clown?" Natsume asked, "And what is he doing here without any clothes on?"

"The name's Mousse, Sugar," Ukyo growled as she came to stand beside them with her baker's peel un-slung and at the ready, "And he's a pain in the butt who won't leave Perfume alone, only I thought Captain Lao was keeping him under wraps."

"Mousse, did you say?" Tatawaki's frown deepened, "Wait…isn't he the one who cursed Kodachi to wear the body of a ferret?"

"You got that right, Sugar," Ukyo nodded, "After he tried to curse me and missed. He's got pretty bad eyesight, and he also has a curse that turns him into a monkey."

"A monkey?" Kurumi blinked, glanced at Mousse again, then hastily looked away again as she had forgotten that the Chinese boy was naked.

"You swine," Tatawaki glared as his hands tightened on his weapon, "What gives you the right to impose yourself on someone who obviously doesn't return your affections? And to afflict my sister with a curse is unforgivable! If it were not that you remind me too much of the wretch that I was I would strike you down where you are!"

In response to that, Mousse's hand batted the sword away, and then he rose fluidly to his full height and said, "I'm not afraid of you, Kuno, and it was an accident that your sister got in the way of my revenge. I didn't purposefully curse her, but I'm damned if I'm going to stand here and let a bag of hot air like you get in my way…"

"What did you say?" Tatawaki's knuckles tightened, "Truly your arrogance goes beyond all bounds if you think that I'm going to allow that insult to go unchallenged!"

"Do your worst," Mousse said as he rose to stand on one leg, arms raised in the classic White Crane posture, "Even without any weapons I'm still better armed than a witless fool like you could ever be…"

There was a loud "Thunk!" and then the tall boy's eyes rolled up and he collapsed like a nerveless puppet. Ryoga stood behind where he had been with one fist raised as he sighed, "And they call me clueless."

"Ryoga-kun?" Akane asked, chancing to look in his direction while forcing herself not to look at the fallen Mousse.

Kurumi risked uncovering one eye with her hands while Natsume glanced down and said, "This is the man who cursed your sister?"

"Please," Tatawaki said, "Calling him a man is a grave insult to the lot of us, but you surprise me, Ryoga, striking an opponent from behind in such a manner."

"Well, normally I wouldn't," Ryoga shrugged, "But with him, it seemed like the right thing to do…urk!"

Ryoga hastily turned around, his expression reddening, which drew curious glances from all around until they realized that Kodachi has just gotten out of the tub and was putting a towel around herself with Keiko only a few steps behind her.

"How odd seeing him like that," Tatawaki heard his sister remark as she padded up beside him, "In truth I should resent this one, but in a way he seems so pathetic, and blinded by a one-sided love that has driven him to the edge of insanity. We've all been there at one time or another, so in a way to condemn him is to condemn ourselves for past transgressions."

"You really think so, Dachi-chan?" Keiko asked.

Kodachi held up a hand that was clutching a glass of water and said, "Not really," and with that she poured it upon the unconscious Chinese boy, triggering his transformation back to ape form.

Kurumi's eyes widened once again, only this time in amazement. Her sister merely sighed and said, "Incredible. As many times as I've seen it happen with Perfume and Nabiki, I still have trouble believing in such curses."

"Try living with one," Perfume said, already dressing herself in her Chinese garb before she slipped an arm around Ukyo's hip and said, "Still, one can learn to adjust to the limitations."

"Pussycat," Ukyo teased the other girl, receiving a throaty purr in response that had a sensual context.

"Oh my," mused Lady Akiko, "I wonder how he got loose from his cage? Mistress Lao will be so displeased by such a breach in her security."

"We ought to return him back to the Ship," Keiko sniffed, "Only that wouldn't exactly be fair to the other girls, would it?"

Akane glanced at her friends then at the monkey on the floor and said, "You kept him in a cage for the last three months?"

"It seemed the easiest way to control him," Kodachi replied, "Anytime he was turned back into a man he would try to escape and go on and on about how he wanted to rescue Perfume from Kuonji's 'foul clutches.' He really was such a bother, and if he'd only been willing to behave he could have had some fun during our stay with the Captain. He had every man's fantasy at his beck and call and all he could do was rant away about his sweet Per-chan."

Perfume sighed, "Mousse is so persistent…I wish he'd just stop trying and let me be! Why did he have to fixate on me all those years ago? There are so many other more 'deserving' warriors he could have turned to with my blessings."

"Really?" Kurumi asked, "He must be so lonely…"

"It's largely his own doing," Kodachi sighed, "Some men just have a knack for driving away those who would be only too glad to end his loneliness and isolation. In a very real sense he is his own worst enemy here, which is why he is to be pitied, but never taken lightly."

"Yeah, well…just so he keeps away from me and stops bothering Per-chan," Ukyo growled in low warning.

"So, what are we going to do with him anyway?" Akane asked.

"A fair question," Kodachi mused, "In this form he has greater than normal strength and is entirely too flexible for my liking."

Keiko smiled, "Leave that to me. I know how to keep him from disrupting things for a few hours."

"You mean…?" Kodachi smiled as she eyed her companion sidelong.

"Hey," Keiko replied, "I didn't spend three years on a ship without learning a few things about tying knots."

"That's my little girl, all grown up," Akiko gave a wistful sigh, "Your father should be so proud of the young woman that you're becoming."

Kurumi exchanged looks with Natsume, then turned her gaze to the slumbering primate upon the floor and felt a twinge of sympathy for the boy named Mousse, who did not seem to have a friend in all the world, least of all the object of his affections. It was a situation with which she could identify from the long time that she and her sister had spent in a hapless quest to find their father, which began to inspire in her a certain interest…

"Ow…" Frank murmured as he massaged his huge hand, giving Nabiki-kun a sidelong glare, "Dirty trick, Tendo-san. I'm going to remember that one."

"Better you than me," Nabiki-kun replied philosophically without smiling, then more anxiously as he leaned over the woman at whose side she stood and said, "Push, Sham-chan, push! You're almost there! Just hang on for another minute!"

"I IS PUSHING!" Shampoo screeched before arching her back again with another heartfelt scream that all but shook the rafters. Her hands clenched down on the steel bar that she had been handed as a substitute for the hand of yet another unsuspecting victim, a bar connected to a steel chain that was normally used for patients who had trouble standing up the normal way. The rod was noticeably bending under her efforts while the delivery bed creaked with strain, two facts that Frank-who stood near to her shoulders-could not help noticing with a raised eyebrow.

"I get your point," he mused in a low rumble, "Good thing I heal real fast, only I don't think that bar will last another minute."

"Doctor Steinberg," the Chief doctor said in some annoyance, "Either you can help or you can leave the delivery room. Either way, the mother seems to be doing just fine, now if she could only dilate her hips by another two inches…"

Shampoo said something that sounded very colorful in her native language, to which the nurse dabbing the perspiration off the patient's brow asked, "What did she say?"

"You don't want to know!" both Frank and Nabiki-kun said in chorus, the latter flushing crimson while the former began to shade an appropriate green color.

"Breathe in, Sham-chan!" Nabiki urged, gripping Shampoo by the shoulder as he silently repeated to herself that everything would be just fine, people had babies every day, there was no reason for her to worry, even if this baby was a couple months premature, or that she had two mothers and was conceived by means of a curse and so couldbehorriblydeformedorworseorhavethreeheadsor…

All at once the steel bar began to bend dangerously, snapping Nabiki-kun back to the present situation. Shampoo arched her back then flopped back down onto the bed like a limp rag, caused Nabiki's heart to lurch up in her own breast as she held her breath for a very long, tense moment.

"It will be all right, Shampoo!" he hastily said as his hands gently tried to reassure his wife wife, "I know you can do it! You're doing great, honey, just hang in there for a little bit longer…"

"Ah, wait a minute," Doctor Tofu proclaimed from where he stood behind the chief medic, "I can see the baby's head appearing…yes, it's starting to come out. Just another moment, Miss Tendo, and it will all soon be over."

"SHAMPOO WANT OVER NOW!!!" the Amazon loudly proclaimed, glaring at Nabiki-kun with raw hatred, "I never letting you touch me again after this! You is cause of Shampoo suffering--AAAAIIIIEEEE!!!!"

Nabiki-kun paled, but the nurse at his side calmly said, "Just relax and take deep breaths, Tendo-san. Your wife doesn't really mean what she says. This is all perfectly natural, just ride it out and you'll both be feeling so much better in the end."

"He takes any more deep breathes and he's going to hyperventilate," Frank murmured to himself, just as the steel bar finally buckled under the strain of the Amazon's latest contraction. Without missing a beat he reached out and caught the bar with both of his huge hands to steady it and keep the mother from pitching herself forward, quite possibly doing serious injury to the Chief Medic. Nabiki saw bulging muscles strain from beneath the sleeves of his borrowed hospital smock and marveled at the monstrous strength of the huge man, that he actually managed to hold the bar still in spite of Shampoo's latest efforts.

The moment passed once again and Nabiki-kun found his own breath coming raggedly with emotion. He gazed down anxiously at Shampoo's lovely features, now reddened and puffy with the strain of her ordeal, and tears were running down his wife's eyes, adding further torment to the agony he was feeling at the moment.

But surprisingly he heard Shampoo's voice call out to him with a gentle, "Airen?"

Nabiki-kun's hand squeezed his wife's shoulders gently as he asked in a tense voice, "Yes, Shampoo?"

"You…you really want to have Shampoo baby?"

"Of course I do!" Nabiki-kun said in reply, "Why would you think otherwise? I love you?"

Shampoo's expression seemed to melt into radiant joy as she looked up at her sex-changed "husband," only before she could say another word her contractions started up again. She tugged hard upon the bar, but for all her efforts Frank managed to hold it in place, his arms bulging so much that they began to split the thin fabric of his sleeves while Shampoo's legs began to bend the metal stirrups that they were braced against, much to the alarm of both doctors and nurses.

Then, one heartbeat later, the entire focus of Nabiki's world shifted as the Chief Medic said, "It's coming! I have it! Just hold on for another moment and push harder! Harder!"

Shampoo gave a final scream and threw her head back, giving Frank the chance to pin the bar up at the end of the bed frame. Then, a few eternities later, Nabiki heard the doctor proclaim, "Congratulations, Tendo-san. You've done it! It's a perfectly normal baby girl!"

"A--A--A…?" Nabiki-kun began to stutter, straining to look past the stirrups to the tiny, messy bundle covered in fluids and connected by a long rope-like cord to the mother. He watched as if in a daze as the baby was cleaned off, then the doctor held it up as if prepared to strike it's bottom.

A wooden staff blocked his attempts and an even more gnarled voice said dryly, "I will take it from here, Doctor. You've done an adequate task and performed it admirably, but from now on this child is the concern of the Amazons, my rightful heir apparent."

"Hey!" Nabiki-kun started to say, only Tofu stepped into her path and said, "One moment, I think I know what she's about to do."

In spite of her diminutive frame, Cologne held up the child in one hand, surrendering her staff, which somehow managed to remain standing on one end while she concentrated. Her hand began to glow a little, and then she brought it slowly up against the brow of the tiny reddish infant and lightly ran it over the motionless body from head to groin, barely touching flesh in passing. The child gave off a soft mewling noise and began to breathe air, cooing slightly as its tiny hands began to curl and its feet started kicking.

"Boy, that takes me back almost a couple centuries," Nabiki-kun heard Frank murmur over his head, right before a meaty hand slapped her on the shoulder--just shy of dislocating it--in a comradely manner, "Congratulations, kid, you're now a Poppa."

"Poppa?" Nabiki-kun breathed the word as if it were in some foreign language with which he was not familiar.

Cologne handed the baby up to Doctor Tofu, then retrieved her staff and somehow contrived to perch upon it so that she could study the child at normal height level. Without prodding, Tofu turned to see the expectant, half-lidded eyes of Shampoo, who held out her arms as it to implore him to give the baby to her, which of course he proceeded to do as Nabiki managed to step out of the way in time, still too stunned by these proceedings to frame any sort of rational reaction.

Shampoo at once slipped off the top of her hospital gown and exposed one luscious breast, bringing the baby up to her nipple. The child did not respond at first, but eventually it roused itself enough to take the proffered teat into its mouth, obtaining its first sustenance from an outside source. Nabiki continued to look on in silent wonder until she heard Cologne say, "Congratulations, Son-in-Law, you now have a strong Amazon daughter."

"A daughter?" Nabiki-kun gasped, "You mean I'm a…a…?"

"Whoah!" Frank said as he caught the sex-changed boy-girl to steady him with one hand, "Don't lock your knees up like that, it cuts off circulation! We can't have the new father cracking his head open on the floor, now can we?"

"Cute little tyke, how I envy her at this moment!" another voice said, drawing Nabiki-kun momentarily away from the fainting spell he had been planning on enjoying, and-sure enough-there was Happosai perched atop one shoulder of the bed frame looking down at both mother and daughter without his usual lecherous intentions.

"Excuse me," the Chief Doctor said, "But who are all these people?"

"Members of the family," Tofu said to his fellow doctor and the equally surprised nurse, "Let's just leave them alone to enjoy the moment."

"But this is highly irregular!" the Doctor protested, "The child needs to be put on a respirator and given twenty-four hour surveillance…"

"Pish-posh," Cologne snorted, "The child could be in no safer hands than with us. After all, I have personally delivered hundreds of babies and never once lost a patient. I dare you to match that standard."

"Better listen to her, Doc," Frank advised, "Back in China she's recognized as the medical authority of her tribe, and those who don't listen to her usually wind up as patients."

"I'm sure we can afford to extend to them some latitude," Doctor Tofu said as he continued to urge the doctor and nurse out of the delivery room, turning a glance over his shoulder as he said, "Congratulations, Tendo-san. I'll be sure to inform the others that everything went fine and the baby is perfectly normal."

"Normal," Nabiki-kun murmured faintly, staring at the tiny infant, whom he could swear had thin strands of light lavender hair, though that could have been a trick of the lighting. In a softer voice he added, half to himself in disbelief, "We have a baby…and I'm the father?"

"Fine time to be having second thoughts about that," Happosai mildly scolded, "Who else do you think did it? This isn't a multi-choice question."

"Indeed," Cologne gave her apprentice a not-unsympathetic smile and said, "Perhaps it would be more constructive on your part if you two got down to naming your daughter. After all, she may be a Tendo, but she is an Amazon warrior and heir to a long and noble lineage that stretches back into the shadowy dawn of our people."

"Name?" Nabiki blinked, "Uh…I don't think Shampoo and I ever got around to picking one. Any ideas there, Sham-chan?"

"Airen decide what is best," Shampoo said softly, looking up with mild fatigue but much radiant happiness, "She both Japanese and Amazon. Shampoo think of many names, but only one can be fit for our daughter."

"Ah…" Nabiki hesitated, "You're not still mad at me for putting you through this, are you?"

"What you talking about, Airen?" Shampoo smiled reassuringly, her voice radiating more of her old confidence and bravado, "No be silly. Shampoo just say what come in mind before, no truly mean it. In fact, Shampoo feel much pride to have daughter by Airen. Is strong Amazon child, make Shampoo and Airen much happy."

"I guess she is kind of like you," Nabiki smiled as she saw the baby begin to take on a more normal coloration, "A real chip off the old block…in fact, I think she's got your hair color."

"Not too surprising," Frank noted, "Amazons always did go in for exotics."

"Indeed," Happosai said with pompous self-importance, "Looking on the tribe at an assembly is like gazing across a field of wild, fresh flowers in full bloom. In fact, this little flower here will no doubt be the spitting image of both her mother and grandmother. Lavender always was a favorite in your family line, old woman."

"Hmph," Cologne frowned, "I'll have you know that my father was part-Juraian. His hair color is a sign of distinction in my family for the past four generations."

"Skip the genealogy lesson, you two," Frank urged, "You'll spoil the moment for the kids. Frankly, I kind of hope the kid does take after her mother. I always was kind of fond of the color lilac…"

"Lilac?" Nabiki repeated, "Yeah…that sounds about right! How about it, Sham-chan? Think we should call the little nipper Lylac?"

"Is good name," Shampoo agreed, looking down, "You hear, little one? We is calling you Lylac Tendo. You grow up to be strong warrior, just like your Poppa."

"Poppa," Nabiki winced, "I'm never going to get used to being called that…"

"Could be worse," Frank shrugged, "I've been called a lot less pleasant things myself, and you might have named the baby after another hair-care product."

"Airen get used to being called Poppa," Shampoo said proudly, "In fact, Shampoo no can wait to give Lylac her first sister!"

"S-Sister?" Nabiki blinked.

"Shampoo want big family like Airen have," Shampoo remarked with a broad grin, "Now that she know having babies this easy can't wait to have next one! Right Airen?"

The only reply she received was a massive group facefault…

Continued

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