Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Changes ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter Two

`This is not a good idea' Nabiki thought to herself as Akane, Ranma and herself stood in front of the Nerima Golf Driving Range.

Ranma had suddenly announced at breakfast that he was going to start training Akane. After the tears of joy and the cries of `now our schools will be joined' had died down Ranma continued that he was going to be training Akane in a new martial arts technique. Not only that, the training was to be undertaken at a yet to be diclosed location.

Akane was dubious, after all Ranma wouldn't even spar with her how was he going to train her. With the strange way Ranma had been acting lately and the fact he had been caught red-handed groping her sister Nabiki had reduced his credibility to an all time low. Nabiki had insisted that Sayuri had misinterpreted what she had seen and it was all perfectly innocent, of course if offered enough money Akane reasoned Nabiki would say anything, even cover for Ranma's perversion.

This sudden decision to train Akane had sparked Nabiki's interest and so as Ranma and Akane set off to the secret training location she advised them that she would be joining them, as a chaperone of course.

The amused glint in Nabiki's eye and the knowing smirk on her face did nothing to alleviate Akane's concerns.

"Golf? Akane muttered incredulously.

"Yup!"

"I don't know anything about golf."

"But I do." Smiled Ranma "I got these books and…."

"Books?!" Akane spluttered.

"Yup. How to Play Golf, Golf for Dummies and World Conquest: A Golfers Guide."

"World Conquest: A Golfers Guide?" asked Nabiki.

"Mmmm yup. By some fella called Temujin."

Akane leant across and whispered out of the side of her mouth at Nabiki "Temujin?"

"Genghis Khan." Nabiki whispered back.

"Oh. Genghis Khan ?!"

"If you ignore all the bits about horses, the bits about beheading people and what they used for golf balls" Ranma looked a little pale "there's lotsa good stuff in it."

Akane and Nabiki did not look convinced, Ranma could tell.

"Look, what is the biggest problem between Akane and her improving her martial arts?"

"Problem?!" Akane narrowed her eyes glaring at Ranma.

"Her temper?" ventured Nabiki.

"TEMPER?!" the glare shifted to Nabiki.

"So" Ranma said nervously "welcome to The Saotome School of Anything Goes Golf!"

"Anything Goes?" Nabiki said raining an eyebrow.

"Well" Ranma smiled in embarrassment "within the rules anyway."

The two girls just looked at him.

"Rules?"

"Doesn't that contradict anything goes?"

"Look, I was thinking" Ranma ignored the snort from Akane and continued "what is golf."

"An excuse to wear funny clothes?"

Nabiki laughed "I think Winston Churchill said it was a good walk ruined."

"No and well maybe. I meant from a martial arts point of view. What do golfers do?"

"Hit a little white ball."

"Yes, but how do they hit it? You see," Ranma smiled hugely "golf is like a kata!"

"How many times have you hit him lately Akane?"

"I'd say once too often."

"Look why do you do katas?" Ranma asked Akane.

"As a warm up before I break bricks."

"OK. But what if I say that you are also warming up your mind, preparing yourself mentally, focusing your mind, the kata is warming up your body, but is also training in discipline. Practicing getting the forms correct, relaxing your mind while also focussing your thoughts."

Akane and Nabiki blinked.

"I think…"

"There's that think word again" snickered Akane.

"If I remember correctly Ranma has been consistently getting better grades than you in class lately Akane."

Akane gave Nabiki a dirty look "Luck."

Ranma ignored Akane and started explaining his thinking to Nabiki "I think that golf may help Akane in focusing better and what she learns here" Ranma gestured at the driving range "will help with her martial arts. In golf you don't just hit the ball as hard as you can there is finesse, judging how hard to hit the ball. Akane needs to learn to control her anger and learn that there is more to life than just hitting things as hard as she can."

"Hey! I'm still here you know."

Ranma continued as if he hadn't heard her "I've been watching Akane's katas and what they do is concentrate her mind on power, possibly this also explains her temper."

"TEMPER!"

Nabiki smiled at Akane's display and urged Ranma to continue.

"Now I saw some golf on the TV the other week and the golf swing isn't all that different from your mallet swing. So with a little practice you should be able to transfer that mallet swing into a pretty good golf swing."

"I don't think this is a good idea." Said Nabiki.

"Do you know how much a professional golfer can make, not to mention a lot of business gets discussed on golf courses, after all most business people play golf, don't they?" Ranma said arching an eyebrow.

"Good idea. Learn lots Akane. Oh, and Ranma, you are going to teach me too aren't you Ranma-baby? Nabiki cooed sweetly fluttering her eyes striking a coy pose.

"Aah sure."

* * *

"This is a wood" Ranma announced holding up a golf club.

"But it's made of metal?" queried Akane.

"Yes, but I think the old ones used to be made of wood."

Well, if they're not made of wood anymore why not call them metals."

"Because these are irons." Said Ranma holding up another stick "and it would just be confusing."

"That's an iron? Why is the shaft plastic then?"

"It's not plastic."

"No?"

"No. It's graphite."

"So, that metal and graphite thing is an iron and that metal and graphite thing is a wood?"

"Yes." Replied Ranma consulting his book. "This" he said waving the wood "is a driver and this" he waved the other club about "is a pitcher."

"A picture?"

"Yes a pitcher."

"I think he means pitcher as in thrower, not picture as in hang on the wall Akane." Nabiki interjected.

"I thought I was supposed to hit the ball not throw things."

Ranma blinked, scratched the back of his head, flipped a couple of pages and read a little further. "It's called a pitcher because it pitches the ball up in the air."

"I thought you were supposed to picture the ball up in the air before you hit it." Nabiki smirked to Akane.

"I thought all the clubs were supposed to all hit the ball in the air?" asked Akane.

"Well, yes."

Akane narrowed her eyes and glared at Ranma.

"Akane" Ranma sighed "you drive with this and you pitch with this. All the clubs.."

Akane growled.

Ranma swallowed and continued "All the clubs hit the ball off the ground except for the putter."

"Putter." Akane snarled.

"Uhh, yeah."

"I think you're making this up."

Akane glared across at Nabiki and the owner of the driving range daring them to laugh. Nabiki deciding that things could only get better adopted the policy of `tar baby sit and don't say nothing' and kept a stone face. The driving range owner just moved to a safer distance.

"The woods and some of the longer irons you use for driving, the shorter irons, hey some of them are called wedges!"

"Really!" said Akane dangerously.

"Uh yeah, you use them for pitching."

"I see."

"This is a mashie!"

"A mashie, how wonderful."

Nabiki by this time was backing away as Ranma continued showing clubs to Akane and reading from his book.

"and this one….."

"Let me have a look." Akane said smiling with an evil glint in her eye as she snatched the club from Ranma.

"Oh no." whimpered Ranma his eyes wide.

"Oh yes!" smiled Akane.

"Nice distance" the proprietor of the driving range said to Nabiki as he watched Ranma fly down range.

Nabiki sighed. "This is going to be a long day."

Nabiki strolled over and picked up the book Ranma had dropped as he began his impromptu flight. Looking at the page Ranma had been reading and the club in Akane's hand Nabiki looked up at Akane.

"Hey Akane, guess what?"

"What?"

Smiling at Akane Nabiki held the open book up for Akane to read "I think you just niblicked Ranma."

* * *

One of the problems that face all golfers is the yips. The nerves that affect the golfer as they go to play a stroke.

Akane was no exception.

After Ranma had demonstrated the golf swing, perfect as always Akane growled to herself as Ranma's ball flew down the driving range landing within a few feet of the target Ranma had said he was aiming for.

When it was her turn, Akane swung wildly. Though they were only practise swings Ranma could almost feel the terror radiating from the bucket of golf balls he had gotten for Akane.

By the time Akane stepped up to actually drive one of the unfortunate golf balls Ranma, Nabiki and Mr Kirishima who ran the driving range could feel the heat radiating off Akane.

Her first three swings passed inches over the top of the golf ball.

Ranma in his best sensei mode stepped forward extolling the virtues of control and relaxation over pure power. The feral grin Akane gave him in return caused him to step back sharply and Nabiki and Mr Kirishima to cringe.

Akane looked back at the golfball, focusing her mind on the task at hand. Her anger was eating her up, she took deep breaths, focusing her anger into the head of the golf club which started to glow red. In her minds eye Ranma's head replace the golf ball sitting up on the tee.

"Kawaii kune uncute thick thighed tomboy can't cook' the golf ball chanted at her.

Snarling she brought the club around.

Ranma in spite of himself was impressed, though she had failed in the calm and finesse side of this exercise her swing was near perfect.

The golf ball was less impressed.

Sailing higher and further than any other golf ball before, the golf ball flew up and past the end of the driving range still climbing. Many miles passed before it began to descend.

As it was only a new ball it was unaware that it was only a practise ball and so when it saw the water below it the golf ball thought `perfect a water hazard, this'll teach her.'

Unfortunately it was only a practise golf ball and this was Tokyo harbour.

It was only as it settled into the mud at the bottom of the harbour that the golf ball realised that it was now flat on one side.

* * *

Ranma found that teaching Akane the basics of the gold swing was remarkably easy, after all as he had noted her mallet swing and the golf swing had a lot in common. The only problem he really had was convincing Akane that there was more to golf than hitting the ball out of sight.

Finesse and maintaining an even temper was the lesson and as he kept trying to tell her this was more important than power.

`So how to demonstrate.' He thought.

Then Ranma spotted Nabiki standing off to the side smirking.

"Nabiki!" Ranma grabbed Nabiki and pulled her over to one of the bays placing a nine iron in her hands. "Help me here for a moment."

Before she had a chance to protest Nabiki found herself standing with Ranma pressed behind her, his arms reaching around guiding her hands to hold the golf stick in the correct manner. Still reaching around Nabiki and holding her hands in his Ranma guided her through the golf swing and while softly speaking instructions in her ear.

With the recent changes in way Nabiki had been thinking about Ranma this was all very distracting. His hands holding hers were hard and callused but surprisingly gentle, she could feel his body pressed firmly up against her back and his warm breath and his whispered instructions in her ear was making it hard to concentrate. Nabiki shook herself softly and trying to concentrate on Ranma's words.

Ranma had quickly decided that this was a bad idea, but having started he couldn't very well stop. Since the other day in the park and the walk home Ranma had been thinking about Nabiki. Probably more than he should. Now he was finding it hard to concentrate and when Nabiki started to wriggle her behind into him in response to his request to get herself settled into her stance and relax, it was only by concentrating on his `Soul of Ice' that he didn't pass out or die of terminal nosebleed.

To Akane's eye there was something seriously perverted about what Ranma and Nabiki were up to. Not only did Ranma have his arms around Nabiki but he was whispering in her ear and now they were wiggling their behinds together. If this wasn't perverted Akane was no judge of perversion and having been around Ranma for quite some time she thought she knew all about perverts and what really steamed her was the fact that not only wasn't Nabiki protesting she actually seemed to be enjoying it.

Akane growled dangerously and moved closer to where Ranma was instructing Nabiki.

Ranma looked up at Akane and asked "You're going to hit me aren't you?"

"Oh yes." Akane replied with a glint in her eye.

"OK, can you wait just a moment" Ranma said calmly.

Startled Akane just nodded.

"OK" said Ranma backing away "Now just like I showed you, a nice gentle even swing and…."

Nabiki swung the golf club and connected with golf ball with a sweet `cleek' sound sending the ball into a graceful arc landing six feet from the small flag on the area marked off as a `green' in the practice fairway.

"Yessss.!" Ranma yelled stepping forward and patting Nabiki on the back. "You see Akane it's not all about…."

Whatever Ranma was going to say was cut off as once again Ranma described a graceful arc towards the end of the driving range.

Akane gave a satisfied "Hmmphh!" and turned back to driving her bucket of balls down range.

"How does she do that?" the Mr Kirishima asked.

"I have no idea." Nabiki replied.

* * *

Soun Tendo had been troubled of late. Soun had been troubled of late by strange voices in his head, or so he though, these voices were in fact Teri practising his speech.

At first Soun thought it was his dead wife returned to him, speaking from beyond the grave, urging him to buy brand X washing powder or take Shinji back `you know he still loves you' or even stranger to `Go Gekiganger 3'.

Shopping for Kasumi became more of an adventure as her father insisted on selecting which brands she should buy and what she should buy. After one night restless sleep Soun had insisted that Kasumi buy biscuits of a type and variety that no-one in the house ate, after all with Kasumi's excellent cooking why would you buy biscuits. Two days were spent asking anyone who came to the dojo if they knew anyone called Shinji, those were a troubling two days for Soun and very worrying for everyone else.

The clothing styles Soun wore followed the latest fashions, both men's and women's as the voice each night for a week extolled the virtues of all the latest styles and designs. As Souns behaviour swung wildly day to day and week to week dependent on what the voice told him, the others started to begin to wonder if the long anticipated breakdown was finally upon them.

When Soun started daily replaying sporting events from around the world, Nabiki suggested calling in professional help.

Soun never told anyone about the voice in his head, after all he didn't want them thinking he was crazy. What no-one noticed however was that Soun's abnormal behaviour seemed to follow what the household had watched on television the previous night.

The week of the crime movie festival was extremely tense.

* * *

Ryouga Hibiki wandered lost through the streets of Budapest.

Not five minutes ago he had through a mixture of sign language, half understood words and overblown theatrics been able to discover that somehow he had managed to cross into Europe.

The worst of it was he had urgent business in Nerima.

Ranma Saotome must pay! He broken his word and divulged his secret and now if he didn't tell Akane Kasumi would. Ranma insisting that Ryouga tell Akane was unreasonable.

`It's all Ranma's fault, he should tell her.' Ryouga thought `How dare he tell someone about my curse, that honourless coward. If he tells her I'll kill him for breaking his word."

For Ryouga as normal everything could make sense as long as Ranma was to blame. Still telling Akane about the curse still preyed on his mind.

Ryouga was certain that Akane would understand and forgive him. `After all' he thought `she is the sweetest and gentlest soul I know.'

Still mumbling, grumbling and blaming Ranma, Ryouga strolled down a Budapest street into the side streets of Nerima.

* * *

It was on the walk back to the dojo that Ranma spotted Ryouga down one of the side streets.

Thinking quickly Ranma turned to Akane and Nabiki and said "Just remembered something I gotta do. See ya." And disappeared quickly down the side street before Ryouga was lost to sight.

Nabiki looked at Akane "Are you a little curious?"

Akane nodded.

Nabiki smiled "Well?' and the two girls took off at a run following Ranma.

As they reached the corner they saw Ranma calling to Ryouga who with his usual cry of `Ranma Saotome prepare to die!' launched himself at Ranma. This time however Ryouga's flight was intercepted by a stream of water fired from a water pistol Ranma had been concealing on his person for just this occasion.

Nabiki and Akane were stunned as a little black pig they both knew well continued his flight only to have Ranma catch him by the neck. As they watched from their hiding spot they could see Ranma talking animatedly to the little pig.

"That bastard" hissed Akane stepping forward only to be stopped by Nabiki.

"Watch and listen."

They could only make out the occasional word `taking advantage', `honour', `no more' and `understand' figured prominently. Ranma talked and an obviously distressed little pig nodded vigorously.

While this one sided conversation continued Akane and Nabiki were arriving at similar conclusions about Ranma's behaviour towards a certain black piglet.

"That bastard" Akane hissed again.

"Which one?"

"Both of them" Akane breathed heavily "Why didn't he tell me/us/anybody?"

"I think we caught enough of all that to guess."

"Mmhmm. Ranma gave his word. Baka!"

"He did try to tell us though."

"Mmhmm. Because of that I may just let him live." Akane frowned "Possibly."

As they watched they could see things were winding down, Ryouga gave an exaggerated nod that seemed to signal the end of the conversation.

Still holding Ryouga, Ranma, holding the water pistol in the same hand emptied the water pistol onto his other hand triggering the change to his female form.

"Why did he do that?" Akane asked puzzled.

As they watched the water in Ranma's hand began to steam changing him back to his male form, he then poured the remaining water over the little pig's head.

Dropping the naked Ryouga on his pile of clothes Ranma calmly said "Now, let's not have this conversation again. OK?"

A stunned Ryouga could only nod.

"I didn't know he could do that!" whispered Nabiki.

"Yeah" Akane breathed "Wow!"

Nabiki looked at Ranma walking away from Ryouga, back to Ryouga who was struggling into his clothes and then she spotted Shampoo walking up another of the side streets up towards the street where Ryouga was struggling into his clothes.

"Want to have some fun with Ryouga?"

"What? Fun? I want to cook pork spare ribs, pork rolls, sweet and sour pork I want him to suffer. Ohhhh he'll pay. A visit to the vet, heh heh heh. Piggy pinata, ho ho ho" Akane was getting immersed in her visions of vengeance, wringing her hands and chuckling maniacally, her eyes were taking on a glazed sheen.

Nabiki could see dark shadows forming around Akane and was starting to become a little frightened.

`This' Nabiki decided `needs nipping in the bud before murder is committed.'

"Look." Nabiki said grabbing Akane's hand and dragging forwards with her. "Just cry piteously and follow my lead."

"OK." Akane started weeping theatrically and followed Nabiki out to where Ryouga was now standing fully dressed.

"Ryouga! Thank goodness you're here!" Nabiki cried throwing herself on Ryouga as Akane continued weeping.

"What?" Ryouga looked from the upset Nabiki to the weeping Akane and back, "What did Ranma do this time?"

"It's Shampoo" Nabiki explained holding the back of her hand to her forehead almost swooning.

Akane almost stopped weeping as she watched her sister's masterful performance.

"Shampoo" continued Nabiki almost weeping now herself "Oh, she was so mean to Akane, oh the pain, the agony, whatever will we do…?"

Akane resisted the urge to criticise Nabiki for laying it on a bit thick, but she noticed that Ryouga was lapping all of Nabiki's theatrics up wholesale.

"That, that amazon…." Whatever Ryouga was going to say was lost as he spotted Shampoo rounding the corner

"Shampoo prepare to die." Ryouga cried launching himself in the time honoured manner at Shampoo.

"What? Silly lost boy challenge Shampoo?" Shampoo growled and launched herself forward at Ryouga where the two commenced a vicious battle in the middle of the street.

"I really don't think we need to see this do you? said Nabiki proudly examining her handiwork.

"Impressive!" said Akane linking arms with Nabiki they headed homeward.

* * *

Ryouga had no idea what went wrong.

He was winning, he was sure he was winning. In fact he'd thought he'd won. Then Shampoo had started calling him `Airen' and drug him into one of the nearby buildings where she….she……. it was all a little too much for his mind to take.

Fortunately he had somehow managed to break away eventually and make his escape. Unfortunately he could never go back to that shop again, which was a pity he really liked their bread rolls.

Ryouga found himself wandering aimlessly, how this was different to his usual wanderings are really only a matter of perspective. His eyes were wild and haunted.

"How, how will Akane ever accept me" he moaned "after what Shampoo and I did in the snack foods aisle."

Ryouga looked a mess, his clothes were torn, his hair gave the impression he had stuck a fork into a power point and held it there and his eyes were wild making people cross the street to avoid him.

He had to hide, he had to run away, he had to get shots Shampoo must be mad, she may have rabies. Ryouga started patting himself down to see if Shampoo had bitten him.

In a rare moment of insight Ryouga decided running away was impossible because he had no idea where he would end up and in all possibility he would end up exactly where and with who he was running away from.

Unsure of himself and what had really happened to him Ryouga continued walking.

* * *

Akane's temper was shorter than usual with Ranma over the few days following finding out about Ryouga's curse. What made it worse was the fact that Nabiki seemed to understand Ranma's motives better than she did.

That started alarm bells ringing.

Akane made a mental note to keep a closer eye on Nabiki around Ranma. She had already noticed that Nabiki seemed to be paying more attention to Ranma lately, she had even caught them talking. But she didn't really think much more about it.

This sudden interest in Ranma and Ranma's friendship with Nabiki…. What did it mean?

Something was happening.

Ever since Ranma started paying attention in school she had started to feel uncomfortable. She was always unsure about how she felt about Ranma and this sudden change had upset her. She was unsure how she felt about the old Ranma and now there was a new Ranma to deal with.

One thing she knew however, he was her fiance and she wasn't giving him up.

Not to that bimbo Shampoo.

Not to the `cute' Ukyou.

Definitely not to the crazy Kodachi.

And her sister wasn't getting him either.

If only she knew what she wanted to do with him.

Did she want to marry him?

She looked up onto the fence where Ranma was walking on the fence.

`He's cramming before that exam today.' She thought angrily. `He's better than me at martial arts, he can cook better than me.'

She winced `ouch did that hurt to admit, and now he's doing better at school. It's not fair!'

So intent on studying Ranma Akane didn't notice Ryouga until she walked into him.

"Ryouga!" Akane looked at Ryouga suddenly concerned for his wellbeing.

Ryouga, Akane noted looked terrible.

"Akane." Ryouga said listlessly.

"What did you do to him this time?" Akane screamed at Ranma who had jumped down from the fence and was also looking at Ryouga with concern.

"Nothin." Ranma continued peering at Ryouga only to be caught unawares by Akane's three wood.

Akane watched as Ranma sailed off towards Furinkan High.

"Wait a minute aren't I angry with Ryouga." Akane whispered to herself as she continued watching Ranma disappear into the distance. "Damn."

She sent Ryouga in the other direction.

* * *