Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Close Encounters of the One Half Kind ❯ GHAAAAH!!! What's Elora 'n Renee doing here?!?! ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Mokenda 
Yet another new character enters! Yaaay! And she's another friend! lol
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 04.20.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 215 | Status: Completed
Yet another new character enters! Yaaay! And she's another friend! lol
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 04.20.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 215 | Status: Completed
"Hey... isn't that a glow stick?" Jessica asked
"Yup!" Elora replied.
"How the hell is that gonna help us?! It's one inch long!" Karen yelled
"That's not the only thing that's one inch..." Elora said with an evil grin on her face looking at Johnathan while everyone stared in complete disgust.
"Hey! You promised!" Jahnathan yelled.
"What's wrong with everyone knowing that you have a stack of lesbian porno magazines in your pocket that's one inch high?" Elora said making a fake innocent face.
"Oh... I thought you meant the other thing..." Johnathan said quietly.
Suddenly, Happosai and Jessica began attacking Johnathan with firey bras, purple and green dinosaurs that sing, and anything else they could to get the porno magazines from Johnathan.
"Hey! These are magazines for GIRL lesbians!" Shawn yelled, and hit Johnathan with a wad of weed as Happosai runs away as fast as he can with the magazines.
"Hmm... so THAT'S why the guy lesbians hit me when I showed them..."
Karen begins poking Elora in the back below the shoulder blade, this hurts people just to let you know. (Don't try this on adults... you'll get punished, slapped, or worse... NOT ALLOWED TO GO ON THE COMPUTER OR WATCH TV!!!)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" Elora screamed, "IT BURNS!!!"
"How can it burn?! There's no fire!" Karen yelled at Elora as Ryoga reached the top of the cliff.
"Oh... YOU'RE RIGHT!!!" Elora pulls out a lighter and is trying to get it to work so she can light herself on fire. Ryoga walks up behind her, but Elora throws the lighter behing her as hard as she can, Ryoga is hit in the head with it and goes flying back off of the cliff.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *pauses for gasp of breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *CRASH!!!*"
"Huh? Who was that?" Elora asked.
"Oh, that was just Ryoga..." Jessica replied.
"Crap! I was hoping it was Ranma! I've been wanting to beat the crap out of him for a while now..." Elora said frustrated, "Oh well... better than nothing!"
"Oh sure! Forget me and Johnathan even exist!" Shawn yelled.
You're still here? Hm... I forgot you were there... *is talking in sleep... oooooo... that's a big nose bubble... wee! I'm flying!*
Shawn picks up one of his Barbie dolls and hugs it to him, "Hmph... you still like me... right Barbie?"
Johnathan taps Elora on the shoulder causing her to turn around and kick him in the shin, "Sorry about that... reflex..." she said, "What was 'choo gonna say, LatoyYAH?"
Johnathan limped behing Shawn for protection...just in case... and said "Yah... a'int 'choo gonna start beatin' the shit out of it, TashAW?" while pointing at Jason.
"Oh, yeah!" She said while smacking her forehead, but as she smacked it, she brushed it against someone infront of her. "Huh?" She looked down and found Happosai clinging to her chest. "AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!" She grabbed the little old man and threw him at Karen.
"EWWWWWWWWW!!!!" She screamed, "IT'S HAPPOSAI!!! THE LITTLE OLD MAN WHO TURNS INTO AN UGLY DISGUSTING CAT WITH BALD SPOTS EVERYWHERE!!!"
"Hey... how'd you know that?" Happosai asked.
"I read it in 'Ranma 1/2 -- Revealed secrets', by Mystic Dragon" She said as she grabbed a boulder the size of a bathroom stall... hey... those things are hard to get into when they're not the handicapped stalls... you guys might have it different... but I wouldn't know... I'VE NEVER BEEN IN THE FREAKIN' BOY'S BATHROOM!!! ...okay... so she grabbed the boulder and threw it at Happosai and made him land in a pile of shit Jason had just let out. The smell was so terrible that he ran away after removing Johnathan's bra while all of them except for Jason... cause he loved the smell... were wearing gas masks.
"My pants metal" Jessica said
*slap* "THIS IS NO TIME FOR WHOSE LINE QUOTES!!!" Shawn yelled at Jessica (Whose Line is it Anyway? for all of you who didn't know)
Elora begins to kick, slap, and hit Jason with anything she can... even Karen. Soon she has finished beating him up and he is laying in a crumpled heap on the ground. She kicks him off of the cliff and he just 'happens' to land on Ryoga, Jason is so fat that he knocks them 10 feet into the ground.
"Oooo... that's gotta hurt..." Jessica said.
Johnathan goes to look over the edge of the cliff to see the wreckage, "Ha ha! He's gone forever!" Suddenly, he falls off of the cliff, Karen steps out of a tree costume she was wearing when she pushed him off.
"Hee hee hee! Now that THAT'S taken care of..." She said with an evil grin on her face.
"Ahh! Cool! A tree costume!" Elora said happily and ran over to it and got inside it, "I'm a talking tree person! Now I'm gonna sing the 'Happy Renee song'! (To the tune of 'You know you want to kiss the girl' from 'The Little Mermaid') Sha la la la la! You want to kiss Renee! You want to smooch away!" She sang.
Suddenly Renee runs in, "Who wants to kiss me? Who wants to smooch me?" She asks
"Matt does!" Shawn yells
"He does? Yay!" Renee yells happily, "Matt wants to kiss me!"
"Of course he does! He's your boyfriend!" Johnathan yells from the bottom of the cliff.
"I know..." Renee says with a smile on her face.
Karen looks at Jessica and Elora and asks in a whisper, "Should we throw her off too?"
"Sure! I'll do it!" Elora yells and pulls out a picture of Matt naked doing a slutty pose and wearing fake boobs...or ARE they fake...O_o.
Trevor hangs down from a tree branch and asks, "Hey! Is that a picture of Mrs. Walker? I'll give you $5,000 for it!"
"No it isn't!" Elora screamed and threw an 'Ass Smacking Ken' and a 'Big Ass Barbie' at him.
"Nooo! Those are my favorite toys!" Jessica screamed.
"You'll get over it..." Elora says evily. "Okay... back to the picture topic..." Elora throws the picture off of the cliff after showing it to Renee.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*gasp*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!" She screams, "That's my favorite picture of Matt!" Renee jumps off of the cliff, saves the picture, lands on Jason head first, and bounces back up to the top of the cliff.
"How the heck did you get back up here?!" Shawn asked
"Easy! Jason has a very bouncy ass!" She replied
"But that was his face!"
"Hmm... so THAT'S why it had eyeballs and frenched me..."
Shawn and Karen stare at Renee with barfbags in their hands, Jessica turns to face Elora, "Where did you get that picture of Matt from?"
"You really want to know?" Elora asked back
"Yes..."
"Damn you suck at questions only..."
"JUST TELL ME!!!"
"Okay! Okay!" Elora said as she b**ch slapped Jessica, "Calm down! Close your eyes!" Jessica closes her eyes, "And take a deep breath..." Jessica takes a deep breath and passes out. Elora is standing close to where Jessica fell and is wearing gloves, a protective suit, and a gas mask. She is holding a pair of dirty disgusting underwear, "I must thank Ed for letting me use this to keep Jessica from finding out that I got that picture from Johnathan who is a porno picture salesman." (Ed is from the show Ed, Edd, and Eddy)
Jessica shoots up and yells evily, "I KNEW IT!!!"
Johnathan climbs up the cliff and is wearing a trenchcoat over his clothes. He opens it up to reveal a bunch of male porno pictures taped to the inside.
"PERVERT!!!" Karen screamed and knocked him back off the cliff. A picture fluttered out of his trenchcoat before he fell off, Shawn picks it up.
"Hey... isn't this Jessica? ...YEAH!!! IT IS!!! I'd recognize that fuzzy hair anywhere!"
"WHAT?!" Jessica screames, "Lemme see that!" Jessica grabs it then says, "Crap... he didn't get my good side..."
Everyone stares at Jessica, Jessica is silent.
"Yup!" Elora replied.
"How the hell is that gonna help us?! It's one inch long!" Karen yelled
"That's not the only thing that's one inch..." Elora said with an evil grin on her face looking at Johnathan while everyone stared in complete disgust.
"Hey! You promised!" Jahnathan yelled.
"What's wrong with everyone knowing that you have a stack of lesbian porno magazines in your pocket that's one inch high?" Elora said making a fake innocent face.
"Oh... I thought you meant the other thing..." Johnathan said quietly.
Suddenly, Happosai and Jessica began attacking Johnathan with firey bras, purple and green dinosaurs that sing, and anything else they could to get the porno magazines from Johnathan.
"Hey! These are magazines for GIRL lesbians!" Shawn yelled, and hit Johnathan with a wad of weed as Happosai runs away as fast as he can with the magazines.
"Hmm... so THAT'S why the guy lesbians hit me when I showed them..."
Karen begins poking Elora in the back below the shoulder blade, this hurts people just to let you know. (Don't try this on adults... you'll get punished, slapped, or worse... NOT ALLOWED TO GO ON THE COMPUTER OR WATCH TV!!!)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" Elora screamed, "IT BURNS!!!"
"How can it burn?! There's no fire!" Karen yelled at Elora as Ryoga reached the top of the cliff.
"Oh... YOU'RE RIGHT!!!" Elora pulls out a lighter and is trying to get it to work so she can light herself on fire. Ryoga walks up behind her, but Elora throws the lighter behing her as hard as she can, Ryoga is hit in the head with it and goes flying back off of the cliff.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *pauses for gasp of breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *CRASH!!!*"
"Huh? Who was that?" Elora asked.
"Oh, that was just Ryoga..." Jessica replied.
"Crap! I was hoping it was Ranma! I've been wanting to beat the crap out of him for a while now..." Elora said frustrated, "Oh well... better than nothing!"
"Oh sure! Forget me and Johnathan even exist!" Shawn yelled.
You're still here? Hm... I forgot you were there... *is talking in sleep... oooooo... that's a big nose bubble... wee! I'm flying!*
Shawn picks up one of his Barbie dolls and hugs it to him, "Hmph... you still like me... right Barbie?"
Johnathan taps Elora on the shoulder causing her to turn around and kick him in the shin, "Sorry about that... reflex..." she said, "What was 'choo gonna say, LatoyYAH?"
Johnathan limped behing Shawn for protection...just in case... and said "Yah... a'int 'choo gonna start beatin' the shit out of it, TashAW?" while pointing at Jason.
"Oh, yeah!" She said while smacking her forehead, but as she smacked it, she brushed it against someone infront of her. "Huh?" She looked down and found Happosai clinging to her chest. "AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!" She grabbed the little old man and threw him at Karen.
"EWWWWWWWWW!!!!" She screamed, "IT'S HAPPOSAI!!! THE LITTLE OLD MAN WHO TURNS INTO AN UGLY DISGUSTING CAT WITH BALD SPOTS EVERYWHERE!!!"
"Hey... how'd you know that?" Happosai asked.
"I read it in 'Ranma 1/2 -- Revealed secrets', by Mystic Dragon" She said as she grabbed a boulder the size of a bathroom stall... hey... those things are hard to get into when they're not the handicapped stalls... you guys might have it different... but I wouldn't know... I'VE NEVER BEEN IN THE FREAKIN' BOY'S BATHROOM!!! ...okay... so she grabbed the boulder and threw it at Happosai and made him land in a pile of shit Jason had just let out. The smell was so terrible that he ran away after removing Johnathan's bra while all of them except for Jason... cause he loved the smell... were wearing gas masks.
"My pants metal" Jessica said
*slap* "THIS IS NO TIME FOR WHOSE LINE QUOTES!!!" Shawn yelled at Jessica (Whose Line is it Anyway? for all of you who didn't know)
Elora begins to kick, slap, and hit Jason with anything she can... even Karen. Soon she has finished beating him up and he is laying in a crumpled heap on the ground. She kicks him off of the cliff and he just 'happens' to land on Ryoga, Jason is so fat that he knocks them 10 feet into the ground.
"Oooo... that's gotta hurt..." Jessica said.
Johnathan goes to look over the edge of the cliff to see the wreckage, "Ha ha! He's gone forever!" Suddenly, he falls off of the cliff, Karen steps out of a tree costume she was wearing when she pushed him off.
"Hee hee hee! Now that THAT'S taken care of..." She said with an evil grin on her face.
"Ahh! Cool! A tree costume!" Elora said happily and ran over to it and got inside it, "I'm a talking tree person! Now I'm gonna sing the 'Happy Renee song'! (To the tune of 'You know you want to kiss the girl' from 'The Little Mermaid') Sha la la la la! You want to kiss Renee! You want to smooch away!" She sang.
Suddenly Renee runs in, "Who wants to kiss me? Who wants to smooch me?" She asks
"Matt does!" Shawn yells
"He does? Yay!" Renee yells happily, "Matt wants to kiss me!"
"Of course he does! He's your boyfriend!" Johnathan yells from the bottom of the cliff.
"I know..." Renee says with a smile on her face.
Karen looks at Jessica and Elora and asks in a whisper, "Should we throw her off too?"
"Sure! I'll do it!" Elora yells and pulls out a picture of Matt naked doing a slutty pose and wearing fake boobs...or ARE they fake...O_o.
Trevor hangs down from a tree branch and asks, "Hey! Is that a picture of Mrs. Walker? I'll give you $5,000 for it!"
"No it isn't!" Elora screamed and threw an 'Ass Smacking Ken' and a 'Big Ass Barbie' at him.
"Nooo! Those are my favorite toys!" Jessica screamed.
"You'll get over it..." Elora says evily. "Okay... back to the picture topic..." Elora throws the picture off of the cliff after showing it to Renee.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*gasp*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!" She screams, "That's my favorite picture of Matt!" Renee jumps off of the cliff, saves the picture, lands on Jason head first, and bounces back up to the top of the cliff.
"How the heck did you get back up here?!" Shawn asked
"Easy! Jason has a very bouncy ass!" She replied
"But that was his face!"
"Hmm... so THAT'S why it had eyeballs and frenched me..."
Shawn and Karen stare at Renee with barfbags in their hands, Jessica turns to face Elora, "Where did you get that picture of Matt from?"
"You really want to know?" Elora asked back
"Yes..."
"Damn you suck at questions only..."
"JUST TELL ME!!!"
"Okay! Okay!" Elora said as she b**ch slapped Jessica, "Calm down! Close your eyes!" Jessica closes her eyes, "And take a deep breath..." Jessica takes a deep breath and passes out. Elora is standing close to where Jessica fell and is wearing gloves, a protective suit, and a gas mask. She is holding a pair of dirty disgusting underwear, "I must thank Ed for letting me use this to keep Jessica from finding out that I got that picture from Johnathan who is a porno picture salesman." (Ed is from the show Ed, Edd, and Eddy)
Jessica shoots up and yells evily, "I KNEW IT!!!"
Johnathan climbs up the cliff and is wearing a trenchcoat over his clothes. He opens it up to reveal a bunch of male porno pictures taped to the inside.
"PERVERT!!!" Karen screamed and knocked him back off the cliff. A picture fluttered out of his trenchcoat before he fell off, Shawn picks it up.
"Hey... isn't this Jessica? ...YEAH!!! IT IS!!! I'd recognize that fuzzy hair anywhere!"
"WHAT?!" Jessica screames, "Lemme see that!" Jessica grabs it then says, "Crap... he didn't get my good side..."
Everyone stares at Jessica, Jessica is silent.