Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Close Encounters of the One Half Kind ❯ Beans, Butts, Blocks of Ice, and flaming Marmots oh my! ( Chapter 8 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Mokenda 
Here's where it starts to get to the Ranma-ish side of the story. Yeah, I was being nagged too much by uber-Ranma fans :p
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 04.20.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 215 | Status: Completed
Here's where it starts to get to the Ranma-ish side of the story. Yeah, I was being nagged too much by uber-Ranma fans :p
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 04.20.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 215 | Status: Completed
School is over, and Ranma and Akane are walking back to the Tendo Dojo.
"Jeez, I'm just glad we only have to see those freaks around school, you know?" Asked Ranma, "They're starting to get on my nerves"
"I don't know... you didn't give them the time of day to get to know them..." Akane replies.
"Whaddya sayin'? Are you on their side on this?"
"I'm not on anyone's side you idiot!" Akane says with a evil glare in her eyes, "Expecially not yours!"
"Like I care, it's not like I WANT you on my side anyways"
"Sure sounded like it"
"Are you trying to make it out that I like you?!" Ranma yells jumping off of the chain fence he was walking on.
"Sure looks like it, but I guess not, since you're too much of a baby to do anything to make it even look like you're interested in girls. You're probably really gay or something..." Akane says with a big grin on her face.
"Oh yeah?" Ranma asks grabbing her by the shoulders and kissing her taking her by suprise.
"Mmph?!"
*click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
They break apart and after Akane slaps him, turn to see what made the click. Karen and Elora are standing there with cameras and had been taking pictures of their big kissing scene.
"Whoo! This'll go great on my website!" Karen says happily removing the polaroids.
"Ebay! Ebay! Ebay!" Elora chants with great enthusiasm.
"Get back here!" Ranma yells chasing after the two insane girls.
Akane stays back, still blushing from the suprise kiss she just recieved. "Why did he..." But the rest of what she was going to say was cut off by the screams of the two girls as they ran in circles at top speed away from Ranma who had the evil glowing eyes and fangs.
"EEEEEEEK!!!" Karen screams as she kicks into over drive at such a big boost she ends up right behind Ranma in the process and at one point manages to knock him down to the ground trampling him. After falling to the ground, the two keep running, not looking back and not seeming to notice that they are actually running over him.
*****************************************************************
"YEOWCH!!!" Ranma yells in Dr. Tofu's office where his dislocated arms, legs, neck, etc. are being put back in place. "That hurts- GHAAAAAAAH!!!"
"It's worse than Akane's usual attacks, how did she do this?" Dr. Tofu laughs while putting the neck back in place.
"She didn't- AAAAAA!!!" Ranma yells in pain, "Two- OW!- new girls- GHAAAAAAH!!!- did it -Rrrhg!"
"Really? No wonder the foot prints had two different imprints..."
Soon Dr. Tofu has put all of Ranma's joints back to their usual places and Akane and Ranma are again on their way back to the Dojo.
"It'll be too soon the next time I see those girls," Ranma says with about 3 or 4 bandages an his face, "Maybe I'll play sick or somethin' tomorrow... hey, what's with you?" He turns to face Akane who's head is down and she seems to have become enthralled with her shoes.
"Huh?" Akane snaps out of her day dreaming "Oh, nothing... I'm just thinking..."
"Hmm?" Ranma looks at her with a curious look.
They arrive at the Dojo and notice that Genma is in his panda form on the front lawn sunbathing on a lawn chair straining to hold his weight.
"Pop, what are you doing? People aren't used to seeing Pandas sunbathin around here!"
"I was normal when I came out here" Reads a sign that Genma holds up. "Some kids came by and wet me down"
Confused as to why his father does things like this, they enters the house and find Nabiki peering into the room where they normally eat with a suprised look on her face.
"Nabiki? What's wrong?" Akane asks with a curious tone.
"Kasumi found some new people to stay at the Dojo, never seen anything quite like it..." She replies facing Akane and Ranma but having her eyes still tuned into the room.
"Really? Who are they?" Asks Akane becoming a little excited.
The two look into the room where Nabiki is still peering into and the look of fear, hatred, and redundantness appears on Ranma's face. The new residents are the people he wanted to see the least, Shawn, Jessica, Johnathan, Karen, Elora, and Renee. But for once, they seemed down to earth and are talking calmly to Kasumi.
"So where are you from?" Kasumi asks the friends, "Are you from around here?"
"No," Jessica replies, "We're from America, we were at a carnival and we went to the port-a-potties there, but they turned out to be magical and somehow managed to take us here to Nerima."
"How strange" Kasumi says in saddened tone, "You must miss your families."
Karen sniffles and everyone ducks under the table, "Achoo"
They all take a sigh of relief and appear back above the table, Kasumi, looking quite confused indeed asks, "Why did you all duck under the table?"
"When she cries, she causes a flood just about every time." Shawn replies clutching his chest.
"Really?" Kasumi asks with a look of interest on her face.
"I don't cause a flood!" Karen protests
"You're right, it's more of a lake..." Johnathan says with a smile and promptly gets a pair of chopsticks shoved up his nose.
"So how long will you be staying?"
"Erm... we don't know..." Elora admits with a frown, "probably until we find someway to get home or someone else to stay with..."
Ranma gulps and with Renee's acute sense of hearing turns around to see him, Akane, and Nabiki standing in the door way. The others turn to see and Elora and Karen, with HUGE smiles on their faces, hold up the pictures they took while Kasumi isn't looking. Nabiki instantly sees the pictures and turns to look at Ranma and Akane with VERY wide eyes, then runs out of the doorway knocking Ranma and Akane to the ground in the process to view the pictures closely.
*eye twitching* "I'm gonna kill them..." Ranma says in the mose dangerous tone he can muster with Akane's elbow in his back right about where his lung is.
***************************************************************
The next day, back at their school, the friends are back to their usual antics of hyperness and complete randomness. Karen, who had found a flaming marmot, was in a huge tub of pudding swimming around taking a pudding bath with the burning mammal, Jessica was talking to a monkey's butt. Shawn and Johnathan were dueling as usual, but with a strange twist, they were using trout with numbers and letters and pictures on them, and Elora and Renee were talking to an Old Bean and a block of ice with assorted items in it. All of these strange items and animals all having the ability to talk and hear and see.
"Hey, Pyro Marmot, how exactly did you learn to type on the computer if you don't have fingers when you're posting on the %IDIOTsite?" Karen asks, hardly visable under all of the chocolate pudding.
"Well, I found out that being one of the smallest of my species that my feet were about the same size as fingers, so all I have to do is walk across the keyboard. Burnt about 60 keyboards in the process though..." Pyro replies with the pudding drying on her from the heat she is giving off.
"Please bless my stripper pole!" Screams out Monkey Butt.
"Shh, they aren't supposed to know that I'm a stripper pole blesser" Jessica says covering the crack of the butt with her hand.
"Oops, sorry"
"I'm leaving now" Ranma say's getting up from his desk.
"What? Why?!" Akane asks, "Class hasn't even started yet!"
"Because I'm afraid to know what the rest of their even stranger new friends are going to do..."
"Will you implode?" Old Bean asks the block of ice whose name happens to be Mlsq.
"No, I'm the kind of ice that doesn't melt, besides, this refridgerator that turned up does just the trick for keeping me cool" Replies Mlsq as he turns around to reveal P-chan stuck in the back of him, "Hey, can you get this out of me? It's a pain in the ass, he keeps trying to chew his way out."
Ranma sees this and sits down, "On second thought... this could be interesting."
Akane jumps up with a yelp at seeing her pet piggy stuck in there, "P-chan! What did you do to P-chan?!"
"I was laying in a river trying to get a toilet that got stuck in me, when suddenly something comes flying out of the sky and lands in me. The other thing hit, but got out..."
"Did this happen to be under a cliff?" Elora asks, a sweat drop appears on Renee's head.
"Yes, why?"
"Erm... no reason..." Elora goes around with a HUGE kettle of hot water and begins to pour it on the back of Mlsq where P-chan begins making the strangest Quees you've ever heard. Then after she removes the now transformed Ryoga, she grabs him and throws him out the window before Akane can get around to try to recieve P-chan.
"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! HE'LL DIE!!" Akane yells at Elora as Mlsq's back magically replaces itself.
"Look, I may be mean, but I'm not THAT mean" Elora says looking out the window as Ryoga somehow manages to run to a shed and not being seen where he keeps extra sets of clothes just in case.
"What do you mean?" Akane asks looking out the window just after Ryoga gets in the shed, "Where's P-chan?"
"He, er... learned to fly..." Renee says with a sweat drop forming on her head
"Really? It looks more like he became a b-" Old Bean begins, but he is cut off as Renee connects her foot with him causing him to fly off the desk where he sat on top of and fly into the pudding with Karen and Pyro Marmot.
"Welcome to the pudding spa, would you like for me to take your skin?" Pyro asks holding a pudding covered towel.
*CRASH*
Everyone jumps as a boomerang plunger flies through the glass on the door then turns around to hit the doorknob in such a way that it opens the door.
"What was that?!" Ranma asks as he jumps up preparing for a fight, but is instantly knocked back down as a pudding-a-la-Karen knocks him out of the way and stands with her arms spread out like Rose did in Titanic. There is a streak of movement and in a second, Karen is as clean as if she never got into the pudding.
"Good to see you Michael, but next time, use the door normally. It's not locked from the outside." She says with a smile.
Everyone turns to see where she's looking with to see a floating boy about 17 years old who has a plunger strapped to his back and has pudding around his mouth. "Aw, but what's the fun in that?" He replies, "Do you mind?" He asks Old Bean and Pyro Marmot.
"Of course not" They say together and get out of the tub.
"Thank you!" The next thing everyone knows, Michael has jumped face first into the tub and begins to eat all of the chocolate pudding. "Hey, what's this chunky thing here?" He asks popping his head out of the tub.
"That's mine," Pyro replies, "Didn't think I'd ever see that again... that's P.O.O.P., Proposal Of Odd Pyro. It's a button for a band I'm starting!"
*chomp* "Tastes good" Michael replies with satisfaction
"Yay! Cheese flavored is a Yes!"
"Erm... who is this exactly" Akane asks Karen with a bit of worry in her voice.
"Oh! That's my brother!" *THWACK* "OWCH!!! Why'd you hit me with that thing?!" Michael had hit Karen over the head with the plunger he had strapped to his back.
"Because... I HAVE THE POWER!!!"
Karen lashes out with her foot and makes perfect contact with Michael's face, "So, I HAVE THE POWEEER!!!"
"Hey, I want the poweeer instead of power!"
"Let's wrestle for it!"
"Ok!"
Karen and her brother, Michael, begin to wrestle around the class room, Karen winning, of course.
"How DARE you win!!" Michael yells swinging his plunger dangerously
Karen grabs him by the shirt which comes off revealing a bra, everyone stares.
"It makes me feel pretty" Michael says with a grin of satisfaction on his face, then breaks into song, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"
---------------------------------
Ok! This is the end of chapter 8! Not the length of most, but longer than it usually is.
In the next chapter, the group with their newest addition of Karen's brother, Michael, have found out about a special fighting contest to get them $20,000 in US dollars, which is more than enough to get them all back to the US. But... the only ones who fight with fists ... aside from Michael (but plungers aren't allowed)... are Karen and Elora. The problem with this is, it's a fight for boys only! How are they going to get in to fight?
Find out in chapter 9! 'Fights Are Not For Girls'
"Jeez, I'm just glad we only have to see those freaks around school, you know?" Asked Ranma, "They're starting to get on my nerves"
"I don't know... you didn't give them the time of day to get to know them..." Akane replies.
"Whaddya sayin'? Are you on their side on this?"
"I'm not on anyone's side you idiot!" Akane says with a evil glare in her eyes, "Expecially not yours!"
"Like I care, it's not like I WANT you on my side anyways"
"Sure sounded like it"
"Are you trying to make it out that I like you?!" Ranma yells jumping off of the chain fence he was walking on.
"Sure looks like it, but I guess not, since you're too much of a baby to do anything to make it even look like you're interested in girls. You're probably really gay or something..." Akane says with a big grin on her face.
"Oh yeah?" Ranma asks grabbing her by the shoulders and kissing her taking her by suprise.
"Mmph?!"
*click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
They break apart and after Akane slaps him, turn to see what made the click. Karen and Elora are standing there with cameras and had been taking pictures of their big kissing scene.
"Whoo! This'll go great on my website!" Karen says happily removing the polaroids.
"Ebay! Ebay! Ebay!" Elora chants with great enthusiasm.
"Get back here!" Ranma yells chasing after the two insane girls.
Akane stays back, still blushing from the suprise kiss she just recieved. "Why did he..." But the rest of what she was going to say was cut off by the screams of the two girls as they ran in circles at top speed away from Ranma who had the evil glowing eyes and fangs.
"EEEEEEEK!!!" Karen screams as she kicks into over drive at such a big boost she ends up right behind Ranma in the process and at one point manages to knock him down to the ground trampling him. After falling to the ground, the two keep running, not looking back and not seeming to notice that they are actually running over him.
*****************************************************************
"YEOWCH!!!" Ranma yells in Dr. Tofu's office where his dislocated arms, legs, neck, etc. are being put back in place. "That hurts- GHAAAAAAAH!!!"
"It's worse than Akane's usual attacks, how did she do this?" Dr. Tofu laughs while putting the neck back in place.
"She didn't- AAAAAA!!!" Ranma yells in pain, "Two- OW!- new girls- GHAAAAAAH!!!- did it -Rrrhg!"
"Really? No wonder the foot prints had two different imprints..."
Soon Dr. Tofu has put all of Ranma's joints back to their usual places and Akane and Ranma are again on their way back to the Dojo.
"It'll be too soon the next time I see those girls," Ranma says with about 3 or 4 bandages an his face, "Maybe I'll play sick or somethin' tomorrow... hey, what's with you?" He turns to face Akane who's head is down and she seems to have become enthralled with her shoes.
"Huh?" Akane snaps out of her day dreaming "Oh, nothing... I'm just thinking..."
"Hmm?" Ranma looks at her with a curious look.
They arrive at the Dojo and notice that Genma is in his panda form on the front lawn sunbathing on a lawn chair straining to hold his weight.
"Pop, what are you doing? People aren't used to seeing Pandas sunbathin around here!"
"I was normal when I came out here" Reads a sign that Genma holds up. "Some kids came by and wet me down"
Confused as to why his father does things like this, they enters the house and find Nabiki peering into the room where they normally eat with a suprised look on her face.
"Nabiki? What's wrong?" Akane asks with a curious tone.
"Kasumi found some new people to stay at the Dojo, never seen anything quite like it..." She replies facing Akane and Ranma but having her eyes still tuned into the room.
"Really? Who are they?" Asks Akane becoming a little excited.
The two look into the room where Nabiki is still peering into and the look of fear, hatred, and redundantness appears on Ranma's face. The new residents are the people he wanted to see the least, Shawn, Jessica, Johnathan, Karen, Elora, and Renee. But for once, they seemed down to earth and are talking calmly to Kasumi.
"So where are you from?" Kasumi asks the friends, "Are you from around here?"
"No," Jessica replies, "We're from America, we were at a carnival and we went to the port-a-potties there, but they turned out to be magical and somehow managed to take us here to Nerima."
"How strange" Kasumi says in saddened tone, "You must miss your families."
Karen sniffles and everyone ducks under the table, "Achoo"
They all take a sigh of relief and appear back above the table, Kasumi, looking quite confused indeed asks, "Why did you all duck under the table?"
"When she cries, she causes a flood just about every time." Shawn replies clutching his chest.
"Really?" Kasumi asks with a look of interest on her face.
"I don't cause a flood!" Karen protests
"You're right, it's more of a lake..." Johnathan says with a smile and promptly gets a pair of chopsticks shoved up his nose.
"So how long will you be staying?"
"Erm... we don't know..." Elora admits with a frown, "probably until we find someway to get home or someone else to stay with..."
Ranma gulps and with Renee's acute sense of hearing turns around to see him, Akane, and Nabiki standing in the door way. The others turn to see and Elora and Karen, with HUGE smiles on their faces, hold up the pictures they took while Kasumi isn't looking. Nabiki instantly sees the pictures and turns to look at Ranma and Akane with VERY wide eyes, then runs out of the doorway knocking Ranma and Akane to the ground in the process to view the pictures closely.
*eye twitching* "I'm gonna kill them..." Ranma says in the mose dangerous tone he can muster with Akane's elbow in his back right about where his lung is.
***************************************************************
The next day, back at their school, the friends are back to their usual antics of hyperness and complete randomness. Karen, who had found a flaming marmot, was in a huge tub of pudding swimming around taking a pudding bath with the burning mammal, Jessica was talking to a monkey's butt. Shawn and Johnathan were dueling as usual, but with a strange twist, they were using trout with numbers and letters and pictures on them, and Elora and Renee were talking to an Old Bean and a block of ice with assorted items in it. All of these strange items and animals all having the ability to talk and hear and see.
"Hey, Pyro Marmot, how exactly did you learn to type on the computer if you don't have fingers when you're posting on the %IDIOTsite?" Karen asks, hardly visable under all of the chocolate pudding.
"Well, I found out that being one of the smallest of my species that my feet were about the same size as fingers, so all I have to do is walk across the keyboard. Burnt about 60 keyboards in the process though..." Pyro replies with the pudding drying on her from the heat she is giving off.
"Please bless my stripper pole!" Screams out Monkey Butt.
"Shh, they aren't supposed to know that I'm a stripper pole blesser" Jessica says covering the crack of the butt with her hand.
"Oops, sorry"
"I'm leaving now" Ranma say's getting up from his desk.
"What? Why?!" Akane asks, "Class hasn't even started yet!"
"Because I'm afraid to know what the rest of their even stranger new friends are going to do..."
"Will you implode?" Old Bean asks the block of ice whose name happens to be Mlsq.
"No, I'm the kind of ice that doesn't melt, besides, this refridgerator that turned up does just the trick for keeping me cool" Replies Mlsq as he turns around to reveal P-chan stuck in the back of him, "Hey, can you get this out of me? It's a pain in the ass, he keeps trying to chew his way out."
Ranma sees this and sits down, "On second thought... this could be interesting."
Akane jumps up with a yelp at seeing her pet piggy stuck in there, "P-chan! What did you do to P-chan?!"
"I was laying in a river trying to get a toilet that got stuck in me, when suddenly something comes flying out of the sky and lands in me. The other thing hit, but got out..."
"Did this happen to be under a cliff?" Elora asks, a sweat drop appears on Renee's head.
"Yes, why?"
"Erm... no reason..." Elora goes around with a HUGE kettle of hot water and begins to pour it on the back of Mlsq where P-chan begins making the strangest Quees you've ever heard. Then after she removes the now transformed Ryoga, she grabs him and throws him out the window before Akane can get around to try to recieve P-chan.
"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! HE'LL DIE!!" Akane yells at Elora as Mlsq's back magically replaces itself.
"Look, I may be mean, but I'm not THAT mean" Elora says looking out the window as Ryoga somehow manages to run to a shed and not being seen where he keeps extra sets of clothes just in case.
"What do you mean?" Akane asks looking out the window just after Ryoga gets in the shed, "Where's P-chan?"
"He, er... learned to fly..." Renee says with a sweat drop forming on her head
"Really? It looks more like he became a b-" Old Bean begins, but he is cut off as Renee connects her foot with him causing him to fly off the desk where he sat on top of and fly into the pudding with Karen and Pyro Marmot.
"Welcome to the pudding spa, would you like for me to take your skin?" Pyro asks holding a pudding covered towel.
*CRASH*
Everyone jumps as a boomerang plunger flies through the glass on the door then turns around to hit the doorknob in such a way that it opens the door.
"What was that?!" Ranma asks as he jumps up preparing for a fight, but is instantly knocked back down as a pudding-a-la-Karen knocks him out of the way and stands with her arms spread out like Rose did in Titanic. There is a streak of movement and in a second, Karen is as clean as if she never got into the pudding.
"Good to see you Michael, but next time, use the door normally. It's not locked from the outside." She says with a smile.
Everyone turns to see where she's looking with to see a floating boy about 17 years old who has a plunger strapped to his back and has pudding around his mouth. "Aw, but what's the fun in that?" He replies, "Do you mind?" He asks Old Bean and Pyro Marmot.
"Of course not" They say together and get out of the tub.
"Thank you!" The next thing everyone knows, Michael has jumped face first into the tub and begins to eat all of the chocolate pudding. "Hey, what's this chunky thing here?" He asks popping his head out of the tub.
"That's mine," Pyro replies, "Didn't think I'd ever see that again... that's P.O.O.P., Proposal Of Odd Pyro. It's a button for a band I'm starting!"
*chomp* "Tastes good" Michael replies with satisfaction
"Yay! Cheese flavored is a Yes!"
"Erm... who is this exactly" Akane asks Karen with a bit of worry in her voice.
"Oh! That's my brother!" *THWACK* "OWCH!!! Why'd you hit me with that thing?!" Michael had hit Karen over the head with the plunger he had strapped to his back.
"Because... I HAVE THE POWER!!!"
Karen lashes out with her foot and makes perfect contact with Michael's face, "So, I HAVE THE POWEEER!!!"
"Hey, I want the poweeer instead of power!"
"Let's wrestle for it!"
"Ok!"
Karen and her brother, Michael, begin to wrestle around the class room, Karen winning, of course.
"How DARE you win!!" Michael yells swinging his plunger dangerously
Karen grabs him by the shirt which comes off revealing a bra, everyone stares.
"It makes me feel pretty" Michael says with a grin of satisfaction on his face, then breaks into song, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"
---------------------------------
Ok! This is the end of chapter 8! Not the length of most, but longer than it usually is.
In the next chapter, the group with their newest addition of Karen's brother, Michael, have found out about a special fighting contest to get them $20,000 in US dollars, which is more than enough to get them all back to the US. But... the only ones who fight with fists ... aside from Michael (but plungers aren't allowed)... are Karen and Elora. The problem with this is, it's a fight for boys only! How are they going to get in to fight?
Find out in chapter 9! 'Fights Are Not For Girls'