Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Pigtailed Timeloops Omakes ❯ More Oneshots by Shade ( Chapter 2 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: RangerShade 
It got worse.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 02.15.2010 | Pages: 4 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 2.1K | Status: Completed
It got worse.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 02.15.2010 | Pages: 4 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 2.1K | Status: Completed
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-Loop Porn
"And what makes you think that cock belongs to Ranma?"
Naruto, Sasuke and Ichigo all looked at the thing in Fate's hands with a kind of fascinated horror.
"It tastes the same. Do you want to see for yourselves?"
All three men stepped back with a speed that would have put any vampire facing a holy symbol to shame.
"No, that's quite alright!"
Uzumaki's voice hit a slightly higher pitch as he made warding gestures against the object being thrust
forward in their general direction.
"Well, he's always a dick so I guess we really shouldn't be too surprised," muttered Ichigo sourly.
Fate gasped as the organ twitched then suddenly jumped out of her palm.
Kurosaki was forced to duck as a Scottish claymore nearly took his head off at the neck.
"What the Fuck?!"
Naruto and Sasuke stared.
"Ichigo is sword fighting with a penis."
A black robed body flew past them to crash into a wall, leaving an impact crater in the drywall.
"And the prick is winning."
Both young men slowly nodded their heads.
"Definitely belongs to Ranma."
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Negi Springfield panted as he tried to keep up with Ranma Saotome.
"I don't understand, why are we running again?"
The older boy didn't even turn his head. It would waste energy better spent on running.
"You've got the Mystic Eyes of Death, I've got Avalon embedded in me and we're on Mahora Campus."
"I still don't get it."
Ranma rolled his eyes. The innocence of the young.
"Arcueid, Ciel, Akiha, Kohaku, Altrouge, Sion, Tiga, Rin, Caster, Saber, Bazett,
Illya, Caren, Evangeline, Chao, Asuna, Mana, Chizuru, Ayaka and Satomi are all
going to be in the same place at the same time."
There was a long silence as the young wizard's mind tried to visualize that.
"WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?! GET THE LEAD OUT!!"
Ranma watched the distant speck of light that was Negi vanish into the distance.
"Huh, now that's a way to use that Lightning Change of his that I hadn't thought of."
The young Saotome himself got another half a mile away before the Etherlite thread
attached to his brain stopped him in his tracks.
"OH FUCK ME!!!"
There was a soft purr behind his paralyzed body.
"Well, if you insist, Nyaa."
"NOOOOOOO!!!"
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-In Soviet Loop, Bear Eats You
"ugh."
Ranma hated Nasuverse Loops.
The Eyes of Death were the most lethal power on the planet but it also meant dealing with an anemic body
and shortness of breath. For a physical person like Ranma, it was bloody torture. Getting stuck with
Avalon inside the rest of the time wasn't much better either, that damn Noble Phantasm sucked up most
his energy in return for the ultimate in protective ability.
And the women here...oh gods.
Perverts, the lot of them.
Violent Yandere Perverts.
At least with Eiken, he'd discovered a solution to the epic suck of being a chewtoy for the club.
Simply screw the members and their mothers and their friends and their friends' mothers senseless.
It might not be the most honorable solution to the problem, but it kept him from being boob-slapped
and butt-bounced and that was what counted.
Unfortunately, that didn't work here. It was almost like being back in Nerima, except with more violence and sex.
Love was literally a battle field. Multiple factions, alliances, hair tentacles, chains, Kohaku and things best left
unsaid (especially about Akiha's chest) meant that sleeping with anyone ended up with most of the other girls pissed
at him and determined to take what they felt was rightfully their's.
And then there was Ren.
"No, I am not going to sleep with you in order to get out of this Looping Dream!"
The light grey haired red eyed little girl with pointed ears frowned at him and point upwards.
"Punishment."
with a resigned expression of dread on his face, Ranma looked up.
"Nyaa! I am Sailor Type-Moon and in the name of the Crimson Moon I will punish you for great justice!"
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-Crouching Moron Loop
"WHY AM I ALWAYS THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY SCHOOL FRIEND IN THESE LOOPS," screamed Naruto to the heavens.
Ranma pointed up at the five hundred foot tall Bowl of Vampiric Tatari Ramen battling Super Mecha-Hisui and Giantess Akiha.
"That's why."
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Head Askplodes Loop
"You know, maybe it's not too late to throw ourselves down at Saotome's feet and beg for mercy."
Supreme Leader Uzumake gave Warlord Ikari a withering glare.
"You coward."
The tall blonde Commander of the Galactic Ramen Seperatists stretched his arm out to encompass the vast armed
force surrounding the four senior loopers in their fortified valley.
"We all know that Ranma is overrated. Haven't we all pranked his ass and gotten away with it?"
The murmurs of agreement from General Kurosaki and General Potter were decidedly too soft for the liking of Naruto,
Self Declared Emperor of the Force. He pointed a finger at Harry.
"You managed to detach his penis and smuggle it to half of the magicial girl groups we've ever encountered. Hilarious!"
The scarred young man brightened up a little. That had been a rather good one.
"And you, Ichigo, got him locked as a dickgirl in the Queen's Blade Fused Loop! Brilliant!"
The four Loopers shared a chuckle, boy had the pigtailed Looper been pissed in that loop.
"But I just have to say Shinji, that setup for suckering him as the Demon Lord foretold to bring ruin to the world
was outstanding. The bit about the sacrifices for his perverted lusts was a nice touch!"
Shinji looked down nervously. He remembered the air literally turning blue around Ranma as he'd sworn bloody revenge
on whoever was responsible for that one.
"And of course it goes without saying that my masterstroke remains unsurpassed, an entire planet full of Ranko clones
doing the nasty with Ranma clones! Bwahahahahahaha!!!"
"But-"
"Look, even if Saotome could find somehow our secret base on an uncharted planet in the Unknown Regions, it's inconceivable
that he'd managed to make it through the outer defenses. And if by some miracle he managed to do that he'd still have
to face an army composed of hundreds of thousands of clones of our most devoted fangirls to reach us! Nothing can stop us now!!"
A horribly familiar voice broke in from above.
"Yeah, about that."
Naruto's eyes widened.
"Inconceivable!!"
Hinata clones aimed their weapons at the unconcerned figure in simply silk pants and shirt perched on the rocky outcrop above
the pale Loopers. Rangiku clones drew swords while Hermione clones drew laser wands and Rei clones powered up AT fields.
Ranma put two fingers to his mouth and whistled loudly.
Thousands of white armored clone troopers stood up all around the high walls of the valley.
Supreme Leader Uzumaki gasped, then taking a closer look at the massed ranks of the enemy, laughed loudly.
"Hah! Is that the best you've got, Ranma?! They're not even armed!!"
"TROOPERS!! REMOVE YOUR HELMETS!!"
Silently the troopers obeyed the command.
Emperor Naruto's laugh cut off as he discovered a pressing need for a change of pants. He wasn't the only one.
"Say hello to the Justy Ueki Oe Clone Army, Bitches."
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-I Ain't Afraid of No Loop!
"ARE YOU A GOD?"
"Uh, no?"
"THEN...DIE!!!"
"Waaaaghhh!!"
"Harry?"
"Yeah Ranma?"
"When a ancient paranormal entity of mass destruction asks if you're a god, you're supposed to say YES!!"
"Sorry."
"CHOOSE THE FORM OF THE DESTROYER!"
"Okay guys, do what you do best. Don't think."
"THE CHOICE IS MADE! THE TRAVELER HAS COME!"
"Naruto?!"
"Wasn't me!"
"Harry?!"
"I wasn't thinking about anything!"
"Well it wasn't me....Ichigo?"
"Oops."
"Oh no. You didn't..."
"I'm sorry!! It was the first thing that popped into my head!!"
"Don't tell me, let me guess. Future Giant Killer Robot Orihime."
"Well, how bad could it be?"
"...."
"I hate you guys so much right now."
-Loop Porn
"And what makes you think that cock belongs to Ranma?"
Naruto, Sasuke and Ichigo all looked at the thing in Fate's hands with a kind of fascinated horror.
"It tastes the same. Do you want to see for yourselves?"
All three men stepped back with a speed that would have put any vampire facing a holy symbol to shame.
"No, that's quite alright!"
Uzumaki's voice hit a slightly higher pitch as he made warding gestures against the object being thrust
forward in their general direction.
"Well, he's always a dick so I guess we really shouldn't be too surprised," muttered Ichigo sourly.
Fate gasped as the organ twitched then suddenly jumped out of her palm.
Kurosaki was forced to duck as a Scottish claymore nearly took his head off at the neck.
"What the Fuck?!"
Naruto and Sasuke stared.
"Ichigo is sword fighting with a penis."
A black robed body flew past them to crash into a wall, leaving an impact crater in the drywall.
"And the prick is winning."
Both young men slowly nodded their heads.
"Definitely belongs to Ranma."
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Negi Springfield panted as he tried to keep up with Ranma Saotome.
"I don't understand, why are we running again?"
The older boy didn't even turn his head. It would waste energy better spent on running.
"You've got the Mystic Eyes of Death, I've got Avalon embedded in me and we're on Mahora Campus."
"I still don't get it."
Ranma rolled his eyes. The innocence of the young.
"Arcueid, Ciel, Akiha, Kohaku, Altrouge, Sion, Tiga, Rin, Caster, Saber, Bazett,
Illya, Caren, Evangeline, Chao, Asuna, Mana, Chizuru, Ayaka and Satomi are all
going to be in the same place at the same time."
There was a long silence as the young wizard's mind tried to visualize that.
"WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?! GET THE LEAD OUT!!"
Ranma watched the distant speck of light that was Negi vanish into the distance.
"Huh, now that's a way to use that Lightning Change of his that I hadn't thought of."
The young Saotome himself got another half a mile away before the Etherlite thread
attached to his brain stopped him in his tracks.
"OH FUCK ME!!!"
There was a soft purr behind his paralyzed body.
"Well, if you insist, Nyaa."
"NOOOOOOO!!!"
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-In Soviet Loop, Bear Eats You
"ugh."
Ranma hated Nasuverse Loops.
The Eyes of Death were the most lethal power on the planet but it also meant dealing with an anemic body
and shortness of breath. For a physical person like Ranma, it was bloody torture. Getting stuck with
Avalon inside the rest of the time wasn't much better either, that damn Noble Phantasm sucked up most
his energy in return for the ultimate in protective ability.
And the women here...oh gods.
Perverts, the lot of them.
Violent Yandere Perverts.
At least with Eiken, he'd discovered a solution to the epic suck of being a chewtoy for the club.
Simply screw the members and their mothers and their friends and their friends' mothers senseless.
It might not be the most honorable solution to the problem, but it kept him from being boob-slapped
and butt-bounced and that was what counted.
Unfortunately, that didn't work here. It was almost like being back in Nerima, except with more violence and sex.
Love was literally a battle field. Multiple factions, alliances, hair tentacles, chains, Kohaku and things best left
unsaid (especially about Akiha's chest) meant that sleeping with anyone ended up with most of the other girls pissed
at him and determined to take what they felt was rightfully their's.
And then there was Ren.
"No, I am not going to sleep with you in order to get out of this Looping Dream!"
The light grey haired red eyed little girl with pointed ears frowned at him and point upwards.
"Punishment."
with a resigned expression of dread on his face, Ranma looked up.
"Nyaa! I am Sailor Type-Moon and in the name of the Crimson Moon I will punish you for great justice!"
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-Crouching Moron Loop
"WHY AM I ALWAYS THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY SCHOOL FRIEND IN THESE LOOPS," screamed Naruto to the heavens.
Ranma pointed up at the five hundred foot tall Bowl of Vampiric Tatari Ramen battling Super Mecha-Hisui and Giantess Akiha.
"That's why."
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Head Askplodes Loop
"You know, maybe it's not too late to throw ourselves down at Saotome's feet and beg for mercy."
Supreme Leader Uzumake gave Warlord Ikari a withering glare.
"You coward."
The tall blonde Commander of the Galactic Ramen Seperatists stretched his arm out to encompass the vast armed
force surrounding the four senior loopers in their fortified valley.
"We all know that Ranma is overrated. Haven't we all pranked his ass and gotten away with it?"
The murmurs of agreement from General Kurosaki and General Potter were decidedly too soft for the liking of Naruto,
Self Declared Emperor of the Force. He pointed a finger at Harry.
"You managed to detach his penis and smuggle it to half of the magicial girl groups we've ever encountered. Hilarious!"
The scarred young man brightened up a little. That had been a rather good one.
"And you, Ichigo, got him locked as a dickgirl in the Queen's Blade Fused Loop! Brilliant!"
The four Loopers shared a chuckle, boy had the pigtailed Looper been pissed in that loop.
"But I just have to say Shinji, that setup for suckering him as the Demon Lord foretold to bring ruin to the world
was outstanding. The bit about the sacrifices for his perverted lusts was a nice touch!"
Shinji looked down nervously. He remembered the air literally turning blue around Ranma as he'd sworn bloody revenge
on whoever was responsible for that one.
"And of course it goes without saying that my masterstroke remains unsurpassed, an entire planet full of Ranko clones
doing the nasty with Ranma clones! Bwahahahahahaha!!!"
"But-"
"Look, even if Saotome could find somehow our secret base on an uncharted planet in the Unknown Regions, it's inconceivable
that he'd managed to make it through the outer defenses. And if by some miracle he managed to do that he'd still have
to face an army composed of hundreds of thousands of clones of our most devoted fangirls to reach us! Nothing can stop us now!!"
A horribly familiar voice broke in from above.
"Yeah, about that."
Naruto's eyes widened.
"Inconceivable!!"
Hinata clones aimed their weapons at the unconcerned figure in simply silk pants and shirt perched on the rocky outcrop above
the pale Loopers. Rangiku clones drew swords while Hermione clones drew laser wands and Rei clones powered up AT fields.
Ranma put two fingers to his mouth and whistled loudly.
Thousands of white armored clone troopers stood up all around the high walls of the valley.
Supreme Leader Uzumaki gasped, then taking a closer look at the massed ranks of the enemy, laughed loudly.
"Hah! Is that the best you've got, Ranma?! They're not even armed!!"
"TROOPERS!! REMOVE YOUR HELMETS!!"
Silently the troopers obeyed the command.
Emperor Naruto's laugh cut off as he discovered a pressing need for a change of pants. He wasn't the only one.
"Say hello to the Justy Ueki Oe Clone Army, Bitches."
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-I Ain't Afraid of No Loop!
"ARE YOU A GOD?"
"Uh, no?"
"THEN...DIE!!!"
"Waaaaghhh!!"
"Harry?"
"Yeah Ranma?"
"When a ancient paranormal entity of mass destruction asks if you're a god, you're supposed to say YES!!"
"Sorry."
"CHOOSE THE FORM OF THE DESTROYER!"
"Okay guys, do what you do best. Don't think."
"THE CHOICE IS MADE! THE TRAVELER HAS COME!"
"Naruto?!"
"Wasn't me!"
"Harry?!"
"I wasn't thinking about anything!"
"Well it wasn't me....Ichigo?"
"Oops."
"Oh no. You didn't..."
"I'm sorry!! It was the first thing that popped into my head!!"
"Don't tell me, let me guess. Future Giant Killer Robot Orihime."
"Well, how bad could it be?"
"...."
"I hate you guys so much right now."