Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma and Akane: Woes in Nerima ❯ Hello WHO? ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

:Refer to pages 1, 2, and 3 for disclaimer:

Woes in Nerima 4: two weeks post-curse.


In the early morning in a non-descript hospital on the far side of Nerima a nurse is heard calling for a doctor.
“Doctor, come quickly! Those three strange girls are awake!”
“Hmm, so I see, quite remarkable” he proclaimed in his lovely British accent viewing the three mysterious girls through the observation window. Adding, “Now let’s see who they are”. With that the Doctor opened the door to the shared room and strode in.
“Hello girls, how are our most mysterious patients doing this fine and lovely day?!” the doctor boasted with a grin.
The three girls a bit confused at the question, glanced at each other and said in stereo. “We’re fine.”
“Well, that’s certainly a surprise. When you three burned, battered, and broken girls landed on our door-step we didn’t think any of you’d live through the night. But here you are, a short two weeks later, and you’re not even scratched! Unbelievable.” Boasted the doctor, then thinking to himself “this IS Nerima after-all, the city of the unbelievable.”
“TWO WEEKS!!!” the three shouted back at him in stereo.
#cough# “Yes girls two weeks, but you’ve recovered remarkably well. In fact, if you can tell me who you are and who to contact, you can be discharged now if you’d like.”
Shampoo was the first to introduce herself. “Me is Shampoo, too too good grandmother is at Nekohanten café.” The bubbly blue-haired girl beamed
“Oh, yes, I’m quite familiar with that café and Kohn-Lon.” The doctor replied to the bubbly, yet ditzy Chinese girl.
Kodachi started before Ukyo could “And I’m the black rose Kuno Kodachi of the noble house of Kuno, charmed I’m sure.” She said with a head-bow and arrogant, nearly deranged smile.
The doctor mused for a moment at the name Kuno that with an adjustment to her bill, he might just get that Lamborghini after all.
“And you miss?” the doctor asked, directing the question to the third girl.
“Oh me? I’m Ukyo Kuonji. But there’s no one around here to call.”
“Ah, I see.” The doctor said with a concerned tone noticing how depressed this Ukyo girl looked.
“Well, if you three will excuse me, I’ll make the calls and fill out the paper-work to get you three discharged before this afternoon.” The doctor said with a small bow and started to head for the door before he was interrupted.
“Uh, doctor wait, we didn’t get your name.” a nearly pleading Ukyo said.
“Oh, I’m just The Doctor” he said with a smile in his charming British accent.
“But, Doctor Who?!” an even more pleading Ukyo said.
And with that, The Doctor just smiled and boasted accenting his accent “Exactly right my dear!”, he turned and left the room.
Shampoo and Kodatchi were raised out of their ponderings of their odd ‘Doctor Who?’ by Ukyo.
“We’ve really, really messed up big this time. I mean we got Akane cursed!” Ukyo said with a sad look, adding. “As a man no-less. Akane the man-hater, turned into one, horrible.” Ukyo said with a shake of her head.
“I Kodatchi did no such thing! It is you who threw the barrel!” Kodatchi said pointing an accusatory finger at the Amazon Shampoo.
“Me not do it on purpose! Anyway, it too too violent girl Akane fault too! All Shampoo want was give special Raman to airen!” Shampoo said, feeling quite vindicated.
“Hahahah, My Ranma, consume your greasy ramen!? Hardly! He should’ve enjoyed my finest French cuisine!” Kodatchi said with maniacal laughter.
“Raman Shampoo make special for Ranma no greasy, you evil crazy girl!” Shampoo shot back at Kodatchi.
Before their argument furthered in violence Ukyo’s voice of reason stepped in.
“GIRLS! Calm down! Don’t you see that this kind of bickering is exactly what’s caused this whole mess! Bickering like this not only got Akane cursed, but we’ve missed two weeks of our lives recovering from Ranma-honey’s anger at what we’ve done this time!”
Realizing what she said was true, Shampoo and Kodatchi settled back down to reflect.
“Spatula-girl, err…. Ukyo is much much too right. We fight make too too big-time problemme. Now Ranma mad at us.” Shampoo said, hanging her head in shame.
Quietly the three sat and reflected waiting to be discharged.

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Meanwhile in the ridiculously large Kuno house underground laboratory/ level 5 classified bio-weapons locker, one Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School was heard cackling. Madly of course.
“I’ve done it! I’ve finally done it! Using my twisted sister’s potions as a base, I’ve created the two most powerful love potions in existence! Hahahahaha!!!
With this ‘powder of infatuation’ I shall ensnare my pigtail… err my beauteous Ranma Saotome into a sensuous date with me! And with this potion of ‘ever lasting love’ she’ll be mine forever!!!! Hahahaha!! Kuno cackled manically.
“Oh dear, sounds as if master Kuno is about to do something stupid…. again” Sasuke mumbled as he continued to rake the lawn. How’d he hear Tatewaki from no less than 5 levels of earth between them? School of Martial arts Eavesdropping, of course.

Though it is a pity that several pages of Kodatchi’s notes regarding the more interesting affects of the chemicals Tatewaki used as bases were missing…

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“So Akane, after our hiatus from school for your training, you think you’re ready to go back to school cursed?” Ranma said walking on top a fence rail, careful not to snag her dress.
“I’m not so sure. Sure you’ve taught me a lot but I still feel like I’ve got a million butterflies in my stomach. But if you’re willing to go as a girl, and in a uniform no-less, then I’m willing to go as a guy!” Akane said with proud defiance in his voice.
“That’s the spirit! Oh and Akane, don’t let any of those cute girls come after you! Or else it’ll be my turn to use the pervert smasher mallet!” Ranma said half in jest with a wide smirk.
“Why you pervert! What makes you think I’d like girls chasing after me! I’m a girl dammit!”
“First of all, I though we agreed during the training that we’re both. While you’re a guy, you’re not a girl. And when I’m a girl I’m not a guy.” Ranma said sternly to correct her pupil.
“Well, that’ true,…. alright, I’m a guy.” Akane conceded with a deep sigh.
“Then Akane, not long ago you though I was going after men when a girl, even though I wasn’t. So how does it feel to receive the same criticism you gave me… hmmm?” Ranma said accusingly.
“Not good” was his only reply with another even deeper sigh.
“Ranma, there is one thing I’ve been wanting to ask you since I got cursed.” Akane said.
“Shoot.” Ranma replied casually.
“Well, it’s just I haven’t seen Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodatchi since I got cursed. Do you know what happened to them?” Akane asked.
“Ah, haha, well, about them…..once I saw what happened…. I kinda’ got mad…. And uh kinda blew them to the other side of Nerima.” Ranma said with a feint nervous laugh.
“YOU WHAT!?” Akane shouted at her.
“Well, yeah, they got you cursed and all, so I kinda just saw red. But they landed infront of a hospital, so I bet they’re fine.” Ranma said, adding silently to herself ‘I hope they’re fine.’
“Really, Ranma, you blasted them for what they did to me?” Akane said with hearts in his eyes. Though it be noted the act doesn’t quite work so well in guy form.
“Ah-huh.” Ranma confirmed with a nod.
“Come on, let’s hurry up or we’ll be late to school!” Ranma said grabbing Akane’s much larger hand and they began to run.

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“Ahahha! All little keiki ‘dat not in before ‘da school before ‘da bell get ‘da buzz-cut and top-not cut! Ahaha!” was the loud crazed rantings by the Kuno patriarch/ school principal, or as Ranma called him ‘pineapple-brain’.
“Oh geez, last thing we needed today was him.” Ranma said as the two cursed teens approached the school.
“Ahha, Ranma Saotome you’ve missed two weeks ‘da schooling and now you’re almost late! ‘dis time ‘dat pigtail is mine! And who’s you keiki-kane (boyfriend)? Ahaha.” Pineapple-brain maniacally cackled loudly with a wide grin.
“You loon! Ya ain’t getting’ my pigtail, and this here’s Akane!” and with that Ranma threw herself into a flying kick at the principal.
“Naughty naughty keiki! Attacking ‘da principal is against ‘da rules! And Akane Tendo is a girl you naughty keiki make big-time lie!” the principal said as he launched a barrage of exploding pineapple bombs at the redheaded girl.
She dodged them easily and landed her round-about kick on the face of the principal.
“Hey pineapple brain, if ya weren’t so crazy, you might listen to what I was sayin’!” Ranma said as she roundhouse kicked the deranged principal into a tree.
“Ah-hahaha, that’s a naughty keiki!” he said as he removed his hide from the tree, then launched into a hair-clipper barrage attack.
By now the entire school body had gathered to watch Ranma give a special beating for their esteemed moron of a principal.
“You loon! Ask him yourself if you don’t believe me! And for your rules…. they’re more insane than you!” she said dodging the clipper strikes while pointing to Akane.
“Red haired boy keiki, what is ‘da truth?” the principal asked, directing the question to Akane.
“Yeah you idiot, I got cursed like Ranma! Okay!?” Akane angrily shouted back at the principal still weaving attacks against Ranma
Just then he realized the surrounding classmates whispering about him.
“Can you believe it? Akane’s a boy now!”
“Oh man, more sex-changing freaks!”
“Ah man, this shit is so cool!”
“I wonder if he’s fucked his fiancée Ranma,, yet? (chuckles)”
“Oh poor Akane, what did Ranma do to her…err him now.”
“…Akane’s… he’s so hot!” followed by nosebleeds from the girls.
“Oh no, not like this! I wanted to ease into it, but not like this not in front of everyone in a fight!” Akane thought to himself clearly upset.
As unshed tears filled his eyes, only the sight of red flared rage filled his mind as he launched into an attack towards the deranged principal.
“You pathetic insane waste of a man!” Akane screamed at him, and with that proceeded with a kick, punch, knee to the groin, kick, punch combination that would’ve killed a lesser man, and with a final uppercut blow to the chin, Akane sent the principal into a low-earth orbit where he later landed in some hellish place the locals called France.
“…Akane are you…?” Ranma started to say as she tentatively walked closer to Akane.
“You baka stay back!” he shot back, trying to sound angry, but only conveying his sadness.
“But Akane… that was the best! I’ve never seen you move like that! You’ve really improved!” Ranma said with a grin from ear-to-ear sounding completely earnest.
“You really thinks so? I was good?” Akane said back in an unsure trembling voice.
“Ah-huh! Even I’ve never hit ‘ol pineapple-brain so hard or so far away!” Ranma said cheerfully trying to ease the pain she still saw in Akanes eyes.
“But it doesn’t matter! My secret still got out in the worst possible way! Listen to what they’re saying about us! Just imagine what they’re all thinking!” Akane said as he began to sob slightly more.
“Eh, who cares what they think? We came in our cursed forms to show them anyway didn’t we? It just happened a little differently from how we planned is all.”
“And Akane, look on the bright side…”
“What bright side?” he said trying to hold back his sobs as Ranma had told him in the training it wasn’t manly.
“Well, look around” Ranma said pointing to the gathered school body. “You’re now the new hero of Furikan high school! Thanks to you we won’t have to put up with pineapple-brain for a while!” Ranma said to Akane, adding in a shout. “Furinkan high school, AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT!?”
And with that Furinkan high schools staff and students erupted into cheers and applause to their savior, Akane Tendo, for sparring them (if even only temporarily) from the madness of the Principal Kuno.
“all of that for me, for something I just did cause I was mad at the baka principal?” Akane though to herself.
“See Akane, it’s already forgotten, you were great!” Ranma said as she ran up to Akane, then embraced Akane in lovingly reassurance.
“Oh Ranma…” was all Akane could manage to say before resting his head on top of the shorter girls head.
And at that sight the crowd of Furinkan once again erupted into more cheers, applause, some cat-calls, and a few shouts to go get a room. This of course caused the two cursed redheads to blush furiously and disengage their… rather passionate embrace.
“Hey, this is school! Not a peep-show! Everybody get back to your classes now!” Boomed the Assistant-Principal from a bull-horn whom nobody at Furinkan had ever seen before, as Principal Kuno usually had him chained-up in the sub-basement.
As the crowd quickly (stampeded) followed the orders of the Assistant-Principal. Ranma and Akane took their time to walk and talk.
“Did you really mean what you said back their Ranma. That I’ve really improved!” Akane said as faint smile grew on his face.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t exaggerate on a thing like that, you’ve definitely improved!” Ranma said with another ear-to-ear smile, and before Akane could speak, Ranma leaned up and planted a kiss on Akane. Ranma not being the best kisser in the world, it was at best a poor excuse for a kiss, but still managed to surprise Akane. The two disengaged and blushed even more furiously than before as they walked into Furkinkan to their classes.
“Akane’s such a hunky hotty, and that hair (drool). Why the hell did I kiss him? Damn womans body giving me weird ideas.” Ranma thought to herself over and over again in class still mildly blushing from said kiss.
“My first kiss with a girl, and it was… with Ranma. She’s so cute, and those tits (drool) . What? Did I really just think that?. Damn guys body giving me weird ideas.” Akane thought to himself several times during class.
“Why are those two so redheads so red and flustered? Are they even paying attention to my class? Well, this is Algebra II, I can’t blame them if they didn’t. Ah- young love.” The teacher though to himself as he continued his speech on the use of exponents.

The rest of the school day went as usual, just the same old ghosts, jusenkyo cursed rivals picking fights, and panty thieves bursting in. Hey, it’s Nerima after all, what else did you expect?


…To be continued…