Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ RESIDENT EVIL 1/2 ❯ THE BEGINNING ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

I claim no ownership of the Ranma ½ title or characters or anything from any other series of movies, games, books, etc. whatsoever.
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NOTE: This has nothing to do with a previous Ranma 1/2--Resident Evil crossover I did called NEMESIS. This fic stands completely on its own.
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Chapter 3: THE BEGINNING

Shampoo and I walked from the foyer into the large kitchen. A door at the opposite end of the room got our attention, and we walked into a dark, dusty hallway. Not that everything was old and undisturbed; it just looked like it could use a few cleanup crews or somethin'. We walked around the corner to the left, into a living room of some kind.

We saw someone hunched over on the floor above someone else, who was laid out flat. I could tell by the uniform of the guy on the floor that he was some kinda soldier, but not one of those UMBRELLA soldiers. The uniform was different. The guy hunched over him was making some weird movements and we couldn't see his hands.

"Sir?" Shampoo asked innocently, "you know where we can find medicine? Our friend is injured--"

There was a loud snapping sound that cut her off, and suddenly a lot of blood was coming out of the guy on the floor as he squirmed and twitched. I mean, like, a SHITLOAD of blood. It spread into the carpet and stained it red.

The hunched-over man turned to face us...maybe "face" isn't the right word, primarily 'cause he didn't really HAVE a face...what was left of it kinda just hung off his face in chunks.

"Ranma, is an UNDEAD! What we do?"

I had to admit, this was like something straight out of a nightmare. At first I thought it wasn't real, but a split second later, I realized I was standing here; therefore, it WAS real. The thing headed straight for me, and I suddenly recalled something from an American zombie movie I watched once...

Get 'em in the head. It's the only way to bring 'em down.

So, as it staggered towards me, I lifted my left leg and kicked the thing in the face...but my foot went right through its fuckin' head. It dropped straight down, and I took my foot out of that nasty mess. Shampoo was nearby, stunned, but still ready for action. I looked past the dead zombie to the other corpse on the floor. This zombie had weak flesh, but MAN, he was pretty strong...the other corpse proved that.

The zombie had apparently wrenched the man's head off, and the man had still been alive when that happened; his jaw muscles were still twitching slightly. I nearly puked...I never seen anybody dead, up close, except for Gosunkugi...but that wasn't all up in my face like this shit was. I looked at the guy's uniform. He definitely wasn't with UMBRELLA...his patch said, "S.T.A.R.S."

What does all this mean?

"Ranma, you check him for weapons, yes?"

I looked back at her, kinda shocked...but I didn't want her to think I was a wimp now that I'm startin' ta like her. So, I dipped into the guy's pockets and came up with a couple of clips for a pistol...but where the hell was his gun? I looked around.

Ah, there it is. How nice. All the way across the room, on the floor, next to the couch. I could just go pick it up, but there's a small problem...

The guy's hand is still attached to it.

Son of a bitch.

* * * * *

After that little ordeal, Shampoo and I headed back into the foyer, where Mousse, Ukyo, Kuno, Kodachi, Hiroshi, and Daisuke were all yelling over each other, trying to make themselves heard.

Wait a minute...oh, NOW what? How in the living fuck did Mousse, Ukyo, and Kodachi get here?

"Hey, everyone SHUT UP FOR A SECOND!!" I had to do that, or I wouldn't have been heard. Everyone quieted down and looked my way. "Now what the fuck are you guys doing here?"

Ukyo, Mousse, and Kodachi all began to explain at once. "Woah, woah, let's start with Mousse. Mousse?"

"Well, I woke up this morning and I found that Shampoo was missing! I figured she was with you, but your father said YOU were missing, too. So, I followed your footprints from the muddy road to the path in the woods and found this place."

Great. Next. "Ukyo?"

"I went looking for you this morning, but Mr. Tendo told me you were missing, and so was Akane, and Shampoo. So I followed Mousse, knowing that he'd go looking for Shampoo, who was probably with you."

"Where IS violent-girl?" Shampoo asked.

"And pig-boy," I said, looking around.

"Oh," Daisuke said, "they decided to check out the upstairs."

"Yeah, they wanted us to tell you," Hiroshi said.

I gave them one of those looks. "Thanks for telling me, dipshits!"

"Excuse me, Ranma darling, but you haven't heard what I'M doing here yet," said Kodachi.

I turned to her. "Can't wait to hear it."

"I was actually looking for brother dear, but I'd heard that you were around, so I followed Ukyo--"

"--Who followed Mousse, who was looking for Shampoo, who was with me. Yeah, I got it. I don't think you people know the severity of the situation we're all in here. We're in some seriously deep shit."

"What are you talking about, Ranma?" Ukyo asked.

"NEWS FLASH, people: this mansion is full of fierce, ugly, fucked-up zombies! And this is no bullshit, ok?"

"Bullshit," Mousse said, unsure.

"You want proof, you can scrape it off the bottom of my shoe. Right now I want to find a way out of here as quick as possible. You guys came through the front door, right?"

"Yeah, of course, but...we were attacked by these really vicious dogs. They chased us right to the mansion."

"You didn't see Gosunkugi out there?"

"What? Well, we were running pretty fast...I DID notice some blood on the door, but I didn't see Gosunkugi anywhere. You saying he's dead?"

I walked to the door at the protests of my peers. I shushed them and opened the door a crack. I saw some dogs roaming around in the tall grass, and apparently, a blood trail that led into the grass as well...obviously, that had been Gosunkugi being carried off by some sort of...I don't know, something.

BAM!

One of those dogs slammed against the door and stuck its face halfway through the doorframe. I struggled to close the door, and the others moved behind me to help me keep it shut. The fucker was strong!

Well, when push comes to shove, I say, SHOVE!

I whipped out the pistol that I had gotten from the S.T.A.R.S. soldier and put it against the ugly dog's eye. It stopped struggling for a second and made a curious sound.

"Play dead, boy!" I pulled the trigger and splattered the fucker's brain all over the doorframe. The thing dropped and I pushed it out the door by its head and quickly slammed it shut. "Dammit! Ok, here's what we need to do...we need to split into groups of two so that we can cover more ground and find a way out of here."

"I go with Ranma!" Shampoo exclaimed. Mousse groaned.

Kuno stepped forward and said something completely unexpected. "Ah, Saotome...have you ever noticed that when people split up in horror movies, usually...they all die?"

I gave him a look. "Just try to think of this as real life."

"Right...right."

"Wait a minute, now!" Mousse yelled angrily. "I wanna go with Shampoo!"

"Mousse, look at me...you're being a little bitch right now. Shut up and look for a way out of here before WE GET TORN APART BY SOME SERIOUSLY FUCKED-UP DEAD GUYS OR SOMETHING EVEN MORE HIDEOUS!!"

"Christ, ok, ok!" Mousse grabbed Ukyo by the arm and dragged her into the kitchen.

"Fuckin'...RGH! Anyway, Kunos, you take the upstairs. Hiroshi, Daisuke..." I noticed Hiroshi was looking a little more pale from his injury. "...go somewhere and sit."

"Gotcha," they said. The two Kunos nodded and headed quietly up the stairs. Daisuke helped the limping Hiroshi along as they headed into the kitchen as well.

"Shampoo, me and you'll take this door to the right."

"I not worried if I'm with you."

That sounded like an actual compliment, not some cheapshot like Akane would have for me. I looked appreciatively at her, and she smiled at me.

Man, probably none of us were gonna make it out of here, but...I think I was in love! That's more important, right?

Well, let's hope the moral of this story is "Live and Learn."