Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Unlikely Alliances ❯ Meeting of the minds. ( Chapter 1 )

This was originally published by me under the name Anduril at Anime Addventures, with the only changes being a few corrections in spelling, punctuation and the occasional word choice. If you like the beginning of my story but think I've gone off the rails, or have your own ideas for a great branch-off, or think I'm taking too long to update and want to continue the story yourself, come to Anime Addventures and join in the fun!

“Chained World: The Fall of the House of Kuno” has been a pretty depressing write, so I've been interspersing my chapters with this one. This first chapter was posted by Ezit Meti, the rest in this branch are mine (so far).

I claim no ownership rights to any of the works of Rumiko Takahashi or Ezit Meti.

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By Ezit Meti

Cologne locked the door to the Cat Cafe and turned around to look at her guests. She knew the instant she had contacted them that the following conversation would be anything but an easy one. But it was necessary they talk. Working together was the best way to achieve what they all needed to happen. If they didn't, or couldn't, there was a very strong chance none of them would get what they wanted. Whatever risks there were in this course of action did not outweigh the potential benefits.

The Tendo family sat to one side of the room, with the Kuonji girl on the other side. Soun looked hopeful, no doubt believing this was about arranging a compromise of some sort about who got Ranma. Ukyo was on edge, as if expecting a fight to break out. Given the history between herself, Shampoo and Akane that was not too surprising. Kasumi was in the middle of some conversation or other with Akane, while Nabiki was carefully watching everybody else. No doubt waiting for the opportunity to slip in a snide comment, or pick up an opportunity to pick up a quick yen.

Together with Shampoo, who was still in the kitchen, this group was possibly the best chance for Ranma's survival. Cologne sighed wearily, wondering just what she was about to kick off.

Shampoo bounded in from the kitchen smiling. The smile soon vanished from her face after a cursory glance around the room. "Where airen?" she asked.

"A fine question great grand-daughter, I also take note that his father is not present. This is unfortunate as I wished to share some... thoughts that I have been having the last hour or so." During the course of the last sentence, she tightened her grip over her staff and narrowed her eyes. A chill went over those directly watching her, and for what would be the first time for some of them pity was felt for Genma Saotome.

"The principal kept Ranma after school," Akane explained. "He wanted to talk to Ranma's father about his grades. They'll probably be in the middle of a discussion with him right now."

* * * * *

"So tell me, boy."

"Yeah pop?"

Genma ducked, and a pineapple flew over his head. "Just how exactly does he find the time to hollow out pineapples and fill them with explosives?" The pineapple exploded behind him as Genma leaped over a cunningly hidden pit trap.

Ranma leaped over the unfortunate teacher dressed in a tacky turtle suit and weaved past the net thrown at him. "Couldn't tell you pop."

As Genma barely avoided the lasers fired from a statue another question occurred to him. "What does this have to do with grades anyway?"

Backflipping over a hurled pineapple, and sitting atop the teacher that threw it, Ranma responded "Don't ask me, the Kunos have their own way of thinking." He then took great care to avoid the oversized wrecking ball that swung in from out of nowhere.

Meanwhile on the other side of the office, the principal sat back in his chair and sipped a colorful drink with an umbrella in it. Noting the action with a controlled, yet manic glee, he picked up the telephone sitting on a small table next to him. "Is time to release da bears, keiki! Make sure dey niiiiiice and agitated." He put the phone down, chuckled, and drank in the chaos. He loved this job.

* * * * *

"Knowing the principal they might be a while."

"That's fine," Cologne sighed. "It's probably simpler that they aren't here. While this affects them far more directly than the rest of us the two of them would just complicate matters if they were involved."

"Involved in what exactly?" Nabiki piped up. Cologne regretted having to invite this one. She'd try to make money out of what could very quickly become a tragic situation and that was the very last thing the group needed. But then, at the same time, they needed outside forces interfering much less. She'd do far worse damage on the outside trying to get in than as an insider trying to make money. A few subtle prods and she might see that it was in her best interests to play ball as well. The rest would have no trouble agreeing this was an issue that required their complete co-operation. The problem was how long they would co-operate before attempting to act in their own interests.

Placing herself at the head of the table, she eyed each of them carefully. How she worded this was... extremely important. "This afternoon," she began, "There was an incident here at the cafe. An incident I shall need your assistance in resolving."

There was a sudden aura of concern around the table. "What kind of incident?" Soun asked, obviously very worried. He, like the others present, knew all too well how powerful and cunning Cologne was. If she needed assistance in anything it had to be an extremely serious matter.

Now that she had their undivided attention, she continued. "I should start at the beginning. At mid-day Shampoo had intended to pay a visit to Ranma with a free lunch."

* * * * *

"Shampoo! My love! Wait for me!"

As the flying hug went directly past her Shampoo reached out, grabbed Mousse's collar and slammed him into the ground. All of this occurred in a fluid, almost casual motion, as though she hadn't really been watching what she had been doing. The practise of years of intercepting such advances shown brilliantly. "Silly Mousse leave Shampoo alone! Make too too delicious special lunch for airen. You no ruin stupid duck."

Used to his mistreatment after all these years Mousse was already up to his feet. "I just don't get it. What's so great about Ranma Saotome?"

Before Shampoo could point out that Mousse was, in fact, attempting to converse with a houseplant, one of the customers gasped and rushed out of her seat. Sensing no ill intention Mousse was caught off guard when the woman grabbed his shoulders. "Did you say Ranma Saotome? How do you know him? Is he alright? Is he safe? Is he manly"

To each question, Mousse began to formulate an answer but was interrupted before he could utter anything beyond the last syllable. On hearing the last one, he suddenly remembered his first fight with Ranma and broke into a fit of laughter.

* * * * *

"Hold on, hold on" Akane interrupted."So there's a woman looking for Ranma? That's the big emergency?"

"Yes, I fear so. But-"

"Oh dear," Kasumi said thoughtfully, "I do hope Uncle Genma didn't engage Ranma to the poor dear's daughter."

Ukyo spoke up next. "No, I bet that jackass conned her out of something. Looks like he deserves another beating like the one I gave him."

"Now girls," Soun said, obviously attempting to calm the others down "While Genma has made several mistakes in the past I'm sure that it's not quite so bad as you all make it seem."

"He is correct," Cologne confirmed. "It's not quite so bad as you think."

"Thank you, elder, I knew Genma-"

"It is much, much worse."

"-Oh."

A hush fell over the room as very similar thoughts went through their minds. They remembered the cat fist training. They all knew about Jusenkyo. They all knew about the craziness Genma had inflicted upon his son for the sake of training. Was there something worse in Ranma's past that he hadn't mentioned? He didn't typically bring anything up until forced. Or perhaps he didn't even know about this? How could it possibly be worse than anything else they'd heard of?

Nabiki was the first to speak up after clearing her throat. "So who exactly is this woman?"

"Ranma's mother."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"You'll understand soon enough..."

* * * * *

Cologne carefully looked over the woman sitting opposite her. The red tint to her hair, the general facial structure, the eyes, the smile... Oh yes, there was no question about it. This was son in law's mother. The resemblance was much closer to his female form but was still distinctly recognisable in his male one. A chance meeting like this they could certainly use to their advantage. By making Shampoo look like the strongest candidate out of those attempting to win Ranma's hand, a powerful and well placed ally could be made. But first she had to deal with a question that was nagging away at her.

"If you do not mind my curiousity, Mrs Saotome... I was wondering why exactly we have never had the opportunity to meet."

"You said your great grand-granddaughter is romantically interested in my son? Then it is only appropriate that I inform you of this." She clutched the strange bundle she was carrying closer to herself and pulled out a single piece of paper. The very first details to catch Cologne's eye was a number of palm prints, obviously made by the hand of a very young child. Next to that was a signature that she would approximate to "Genma Saotome". Her eyes drifted upwards and-

"Genma wished to take Ranma on a training journey from a very young age and feared that I would pamper him. To ensure my trust in his ability to raise our only son he offered this contract. Oh dear, are you feeling alright? You look a little feverish. And that eye twitch certainly doesn't look healthy."

"I'm fine! Really. So am I to assume that you will keep to the spirit of this contract?"

"Certainly. As the wife of a martial artist it is my duty to - oh dear me, you really should rest. You really do not look well. That strangled gurgling noise you're making really doesn't sound healthy."

"Honestly, Mrs Saotome. It's nothing that a freshly cleaned panda skinned rug won't fix. Ah, Shampoo! I need your help in the kitchen for a moment!"

* * * * *

"After taking Shampoo into the kitchen I wrote the notes that requested your presence here and sent her off. I then stalled Mrs Saotome, promising her that I would help her meet Ranma at some point in the future and sent her on her way so we could discuss this unfortunate turn of events. By the expressions on your faces you understand just what the true nature of the problem is."

"So... So what do we do? If she finds out about his curse she'll... She'll..."

"Yes exactly. None of us want Ranma dead."

"I do!"

"Half blind part timers don't count!" Cologne yelled, hurling a well aimed bucket of water into the kitchen. After a moment waiting for the ruckus in the kitchen to cease, she sighed and continued. "I am proposing an alliance. If we combine our efforts, then before either of the Saotome men discover this development we might be able to convince Mrs Saotome that Ranma is perfectly manly. Curse or no."

"And then we kill Genma." Ukyo muttered, fingering her spatula thoughtfully. A few of the others nodded in agreement and then looked at each other uneasily. Already, they were seeing a large number of problems potentially interfering. Happosai, the Kuno family, Ryoga... Any one of them could easily make an already difficult task into an almost impossible one. Worse yet, if Genma found out he'd almost certainly step in and they all knew exactly what he was like. Ranma wouldn't make this all that easy himself, possibly insisting that he had to solve the problem by himself. The whole scenario felt like a giant knot, and they needed a sword to cut through it.

"I suppose you have some sort of plan?" Akane asked.

All eyes turned to Cologne, as she said, “Actually, I was hoping you could help me come up with one.”