Realism Fan Fiction / Romance Fan Fiction / Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Destiny ❯ The Letter ( Chapter 16 )

The Letter

A leaf falls from the tree as I sit with my back against the smooth bark. I stare out to the sunny park with tear stained cheeks. My mind was numb and I found myself unable to think. I just sat there, unmoved by the cool breeze and the chirping birds. Soon I sense someone approaching me. I turn and look to the hospital doors as one of the nurses makes her way towards me. The sounds that surround me begin to fade away as I watch her with her grave face. A face full of pity; one that I would rather not see.

“Gwen. The coroner is here and would like to speak with you about arrangements for Adrian's funeral. Since he has no family, he thought you would know Adrian's wishes best,” she spoke softly.

I just looked at her in confusion and then started to stare off into the park as memories started to flash through my eyes about what all had happened.

After receiving the phone call and my initial shock wore off I proceeded to rush to the hospital where Adrian was located. Once I found where his room was the nurses stopped me from going in to see him. They wanted to explain, but I really didn't want to hear what they had to say. I just wanted to be there with him, for him, like he had been there for me so many times. Eventually the nurses won and had me sit down outside his room so the doctor could explain everything.

“Adrian has been living with a brain tumor for almost a year. He has been seeing me routinely for treatments and to see what could be done. About 8 months ago I told him that there was no way we could remove or successfully kill the tumor. All we could do for him was to give him some pain relief and check ups to see the progress of the tumor. Yesterday at work he collapsed and was rushed to us. It's only a matter of time until he passes away. We wanted to contact someone that knew him so he wouldn't be alone.”

The doctor continued on with more medical jargon but I couldn't hear exactly what he said. All I could think about was Adrian has a tumor? He had never at all mentioned this or even doctor visits. My mind then raced to key moments we shared. First it took me back to when I first met him. I met him here on my break and he was so quiet and sad looking. That must have been when he found out that he was incurable. Other moments when I would meet him during my breaks in that same park, he must have been there to see his doctors. Also that strange moment at the cabin, maybe he was in pain when he pulled away from me. So many signs yet I had no idea there was such a problem I soon could feel my face heat up as anger took over me. Why didn't he tell me?

The doctor finally stopped talking and was about to let me go in to see him until buzzing and beeping started to come from Adrian's room. The doctor and nurses rushed in leaving me out in the coldness of the empty hallway. I just stared at the door in shock. I couldn't believe everything was going on. It didn't seem real. Adrian and I were supposed to finish his cabin, our cabin, and I was going to tell him about the family we were going to have. This was supposed to be a happy time. Not full of the sounds of death haunted by untold truths.

I looked to the door and wanted to go and look through the window. To see him, but I hesitated. Instead I walked back until I bumped into the wall. I could feel my body start to shake at the now realization that I am losing the man I love. Overwhelmed was an understatement to how I felt that very moment. The sound of the door opening caught my focus and I looked up to see the doctor slowly exit the room. I looked up to his eyes and they told me everything I needed to know. Adrian was gone.

As the memories of that moment came back to me I could feel the tears resurface and fall gently down my cheeks.

“I will tell him to wait till you are ready. Come in when you feel a bit better,” the nurse spoke with pity in her voice.

I had so much, but now I am left with just my unanswered questions. No one could ever tell me what I needed to so desperately hear right now. The only person is now gone from this earth.

After I finally composed myself I made my way back into the hospital. I decided that Adrian would have wanted to be buried on the cabin's property. He always felt at peace there. It truly was his home and the place that he belonged. The funeral was small and was mainly some fellow workers and myself. During the funeral I wondered why there was so few that knew him. He was so kind and caring, how could there not be a flock of people here.

Once the funeral had ended, people gave me their condolences and parted. I was once again all alone. During this time I had not even thought about the baby that was slowly growing inside of me. I felt numb and empty without Adrian. I stood outside the cabin but could not face going in there alone. Instead I just returned to my apartment to cry so many tears. No amount could even begin to show the pain I felt with this loss.

Days turned into weeks and weeks eventually turned into months. I had yet to return to the cabin or the hospital. I don't quite know what it was that made me get out of bed that day, but I found myself back in the park where we first met. As I stood facing the tree I could see a vision of him sitting there, dark and mysterious. I smiled at the thought. I decided to go and sit on the opposite side just as I did that day, the day I first spoke to a stranger. As I sat there I could finally feel some peace.

A large gust of wind decided to breeze past me knocking something from the tree and into my lap. After I moved the hair from my face I looked to see what it was. A letter? I thought it odd, and it was addressed to me. I quickly got up and looked around, looking for Adrian, but of course he was not there. I looked back at the letter, wondering when it was placed here. I was almost afraid to open it, but built up enough courage in my shaky hands and began to read it.

Dearest Gwen,

If you have received this letter then I must have left you in this world. I know I left you with so many questions and I want to apologize for that and try to explain to you so many things. I'm sure you are now aware of the sickness I had been living with over the year and time that I had spent with you. That day I first saw you and the next you spoke to me, that was the day I found out I was truly dieing. I felt anger and the darkness started to consume me at the time, until you spoke to me, a stranger. Your gentle hello and the conversation you shared with me even though I didn't speak back to you. That changed something inside of me. I wanted to hide away and just let the cancer have its way with me. I felt that I should not be around others because they would eventually be pained because I would die. But you taking the time in your life to be so kind to someone as sad as me, it breathed life back into me. I wanted to not be alone. I wanted to live. I wanted to fight for as much time as I could. I wanted to spend that time with you.

This is why I did not tell you. I did not want the disease to define me. I did not want it to control me and what we had. I wanted to enjoy the remainder of my life. You allowed me to do this. You allowed me to break free and laugh once again. I found myself falling in love with you and it made me completely happy. These last moments we shared at the cabin. I cannot begin to describe how much joy I felt to be able to share my life with you, to build a home with you once again in that cabin. I know we both made my parents proud. We brought life back into that place and now it will have you to bring the feeling of family back to it.

I want you to have the cabin. It's your home. It was always our home together. I know you are the best person to take care of our home. I know you will continue to bring laughter and happy memories to be shared through the years in that cabin. So enclosed in this letter is the deed to the cabin, which I wanted to give to you that day. It welcomes you home.

Please Gwen. I want you to always shine and smile. Please don't let my death kill the beauty you have. Don't think about my death as the end. Think about all the new beginnings we started. All the good times we shared. All the love and memories that will never be erased by even my absence or yours. I want you to live life, like you allowed me to do once again.

I love you my dear Gwen. To the end of time.

Adrian.

I sat on the front porch swing as I finished reading Adrian's last words once again. Thinking about all the happiness and memories Adrian had given to me. He was the person that taught me how to truly love. I gently placed my hand upon my very pregnant belly and spoke softly.

“There will always be family and happiness in this house Adrian, we promise”