Romance Fan Fiction / Other Fan Fiction ❯ Stars Above - A Cassunzel Fanfic ❯ Chapter 12: Lost of Control ( Chapter 12 )

Cassandra was looking at her map. There was a village only a couple miles away, but Cassandra was hesitant. She knew Rapunzel was affenionete, so taking her into a village full of people while she was all over her didn’t seem very appealing. She knew Rapunzel said she didn’t care about what other people think of them, but Cassandra cared. She didn’t care about what other people thought of her, she was used to it. But Rapunzel had never been bullied or hurt or anything of the sort. The worst thing that someone ever said to her was “booo” and Rapunzel didn’t take it that well. Besides herself, of course. But when she had the moonstone, she never really called the princess a name. She was angry and upset and maybe a little sarcastic, but she never called her something mean. That just wasn’t her, no matter how not her she seemed.

Rapunzel said she didn’t care. And she loved her for that. She knew Rapunzel would never leave her no matter what anyone said, but she also knew that she was a people pleaser. She was sensitive and easily hurt. Sure, she had gotten better over the years, but Rapunzel was still Rapunzel. She didn’t know the feeling of being hated, looked at with disgust, of being outcasted. Cassandra didn’t want to expose her to that sort of thing. It was inevitable, it was bound to happen, but she wanted to protect her as long as she could.

But she didn’t exactly have a choice. They were low on supplies, on food, and it would be stupid not to stop to restock. They needed too. She just hoped Rapunzel could keep her hands to herself for a couple hours. Hell, she hoped she could keep her hands to herself for a couple of hours. Ever since their first intimacy, which was nearly a week ago, they hadn’t gone a night where they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.

She wasn’t very pleased about the village they were going to either. They were known for being judgmental and known for outright attacking anyone who was different from them. Especially when it came to same-sex relationships. They were known to be worse than Corona and Corona was the second most homophobic place on the planet. The village, known as Brakley, was the first.

Rapunzel wasn’t as innocent as she thought, but she was still innocent to the cruelty and dangers of the world. This village was brutal. In the stories she heard, the things she nearly witnessed as a child, (her father had to travel there but there wasn’t a babysitter that could watch Cassandra so she was forced to go with him), they did more than just sentence them to death. They did the worst things imaginable. They raped the women, whether it be children or adults, and made one of them watch the other get brutally killed in front of them. In some cases, they tortured them so badly until they dropped dead. They needed to be really, really careful. She didn’t want Rapunzel to know any of that, but she had to make sure she understood that it was dangerous.

“Hey, Raps,” Cassandra started carefully as she tried to figure out how to tell Rapunzel that this place was dangerous without telling her why. “This next village..”

“Yeah, I know.” Rapunzel responded casually and it made Cassandra stop to look at her in confusion.

“Know what?”

“The next village where we’re heading too. Dangerous, I know. Keep it casual, got it.” When Cassandra just continued looking at her in confusion and slight surprise, Rapunzel turned to her. “Cass, I’m a princess. It’s literally my job to know about other places, other kingdoms. I was forced to read books about all of them.”

“And it doesn’t... bother you?”

“Why would it?”

“Well, if you know about the place, then you must know...” Cassandra stopped for a second, hoping that she actually didn’t know their brutal actions. She never wanted Rapunzel to know what the cruel world was actually like. “.....what happens if we’re caught.”

“Of course I know. Hey, I might’ve lived in a tower for 18 years and the only place I’ve ever really known is Corona, minus the journey to the Dark Kingdom, but I know things too. You should know by now that I’m not as ‘innocent’ as I seem.” Rapunzel’s voice dropped an octave and she gave her a suggestive smile.

Cassandra blushed and looked away. Clearing her throat, to calm her racing heart and instinct to ravish her right then and there, she responded: “Right. Uh, so we get the supplies we need and get out as soon as possible.”

Rapunzel nodded and made a humming sound. The two of them walked in silence for the remainder of the way. When they stood atop of a hill that looked down upon the town, Cassandra took a shaky breath. “Ready?”

“Yep.” Cassandra was about to move forward but Rapunzel stopped her. “Wait, hold on.” Before Cass could ask why, she was pulled down into a deep kiss that sent her head spinning and caused liquid to pool between her legs. Rapunzel parted and giggled. “Okay, now I’m ready.”

Rapunzel started moving forward and Cassandra snapped out of her dazed thoughts real quick and followed after her. “That wasn’t fair.” She mumbled.

Rapunzel only giggled. “I had to get a kiss in before we’re grounded for however long this is gonna take.” Cassandra had to calm her blushing face and racing heart as they walked into the village.

“Hello!” An older man greeted them, probably the headmaster of the village. “What can I do for you-” The older man gave Rapunzel a look up and down then a creepy smile formed on his face. Cassandra didn’t like that look one bit. “-do for you fine young ladies?” The man continued staring at Rapunzel with a desired look. Cassandra stepped in front of her, making the man snap up to meet her eyes.

“We need to stock up. Do you have supplies or not?” She responded, trying to mask her protective anger. She came off as rude.

Rapunzel cleared her throat and placed a hand on her shoulder, probably because she knew Cass was about to murder this man, and stepped out from behind her. “What my g- friend here is trying to say is that we’re travelers. We’re low on food and we really would appreciate it if you can point us in the direction of where we can get more. Then we’ll be on our way.”

“Why leave so soon? We’re thrilled to have visitors! It’s going to be dark soon. Stay for the night. I’ll hook you up... to a free personal room.” The man’s voice dropped an octave as he continued to stare at Rapunzel with desire-filled, dark eyes.

Rapunzel shifted nervously as she looked away and cleared her throat. “Uhm, that won’t be necessary. We are already behind on schedule, we need to get back on the road as soon as possible.” Rapunzel was good at a lot of things, Cassandra knew, but lying wasn’t her strong suit.

The man looked between the both of them and seemed to consider them. “Alright,” He responded. “Look at our shops and please, take what you need.” He smiled. Either he was very, very stupid or he didn’t buy her bullshit but decided to drop it.

“Thanks so much, sir.” Rapunzel smiled appreciatively.

“No problem. If you need anything, my place is at the top of the hill at the end of the village. Enjoy your stay, for however long it is.” With that, he made his exit.

Cassandra and Rapunzel started walking forward. With every step they walked, it was as if they were being watched. Supposedly, they were. Everyone in town watched from inside houses, outside and so on. They could both tell that there were no women present anywhere. Just creepy men watching their every move. Cassandra’s guard was up like never before and she vaguely felt Rapunzel getting closer to her. If Rapunzel was scared and creeped out, that was saying something.

“Cass, I don’t like it here. Something feels... off.” Rapunzel whispered to her.

“I feel it too, Raps. Stick close to me.” Rapunzel only nodded.

The both of them spent an hour collecting the supplies they needed before they started to make their exit. They were nearly home-free when they were stopped by the headmaster. “Did you girls find everything you need?”

“Yep,” Rapunzel responded but it sounded like forced enthusiasm.

“Great!” He suddenly remembered something as he gasped. “Oh! I’ve been so rude. I didn’t even tell you my name.”

“Oh, that’s alright, we-”

“It’s Burt. Can I have the pleasure of knowing yours?”

“My friend here is Cassandra and my name is.. Rapunzel.”

The man’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Rapunzel? Princess Rapunzel of Corona?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s me..”

“You know, half the world is looking for you.”

“Oh, is that so..?”

“Mhm. And the king is offering a hefty reward. But you know what’s even better?”

Rapunzel gulped as she pressed herself closer to Cassandra. “What?” She asked, afraid of the answer.

“He never said... unharmed.” The man gave them a sickening smile that sent shivers down both their spines. “We can have our fun with you before we return you to the king and collect our reward.”

They both realized rather quickly that they were surrounded. “Cass..” Rapunzel looked at Cassandra with terrified eyes.

Cassandra didn’t show her fear. She only glared at the headmaster. Her voice was threatening and cold as she placed a protective arm in front of Rapunzel. “Yeah, I don’t think so. You’re not laying a hand on her.”

The headmaster’s smile only got wider. “Oh yeah? Do you know what we do to people of.. your kind?” Cassandra stopped. How did he know? They were so careful. “Surprised, huh? We’ve all heard the story of how the princess of Corona was kidnapped by a former traitor who just wanted her to herself.”

“Kidnapped?” Rapunzel asked. “I wasn’t-”

“Oh, but that’s what the story is. But I know that’s not the true story. It was proven from the time you got here that you two run deeper than that. We’re gonna take the princess,” The man suddenly turned to Cassandra. “And you are already wanted for treason and kidnapping. And you know what happens to those convicted of such? They’re hung. But I have much more.. painful plans for you.”

Cassandra backed up slightly, arm still in front of Rapunzel. Is that how Corona really saw her? Her father? The king? After everything she did for them these past couple of years? Cassandra tightly gripped her sword. What about Eugene? Sure, they were never close, but he was her friend. Rapunzel said that he was okay with them being together; he knew that Rapunzel was in love with her. Was it all a lie?

As the men surrounded them, evil thoughts plagued Cassandra’s mind as her hair covered her eyes. She was tired of being lied to. Used. Manipulated. She could feel Moon’s smirking face watching her, but she didn’t care. She could feel the rage building. For once in a long time, she listened to Moon. She tapped into that rage and.. she attacked. It was a brutal fight. The men charged at her but she fought back with newfound strength. A sword was swung at her as it barely grazed her cheek and she felt a knife pierce the flesh of her arm. She barely felt it. Hot, white blinding rage took over. It wasn’t long before all the men that threatened them were on the ground. Spilled blood filled the area and the ground was coated with it. She stepped over one of the men, her eyes dark and cold and evil as she approached the headmaster.

He backed up, hands up in defense. “W-Wait, hold on. We’re sorry, we’ll let you go. Please, I have a family!”

Cassandra continued towards him. “Too late for that.” She responded, her voice was low and terrifying. She kicked the man to the ground and he whimpered, tears running down his face, as Cassandra raised her sword above her head.

“Cassandra, wait!” She felt a tug on her arm and she whirled around on the person that stopped her because how dare they. Her sword gripped tightly in her hand, held up. But all rage left her eyes as hazel eyes met emerald green. Terrified emerald green eyes. Emerald green eyes that were full of tears and looking at her as if she was some monster. She quickly realized what she was doing. She was about to strike Rapunzel. If she hadn’t stopped, she would’ve. She was only a couple inches in front of her. She dropped her sword to the ground and backed up, fear and horror in her eyes as she stared at her terrified best friend. She backed up a couple more feet before she turned and sprinted away. She vaguely heard her name being called, but she didn’t dare stop.

Cassandra ran through the forest at surprising speed. She didn’t dare stop even when branches kept hitting her. Tears streaming down her face, she ran like her life depended on it. What she was running from, she didn’t know. Perhaps she was running from herself. How could she be so stupid? How could she lose control like that? She almost hurt Rapunzel. She. Almost. Hurt. Rapunzel.

The sky thundered as rain came pouring down on her. Even when it became hard to see, she didn’t dare stop. She kept running. It wasn’t until she tripped on a log that she fell to her knees. Arms hugging herself, she sobbed.

She heard heavy breathing behind her but she didn’t turn around. “Cass?” Cassandra didn’t move. Rapunzel was the last person she wanted to see right now. She couldn’t look at her. Not when... when she acted like a monster. She almost hurt her. She tried to slaughter people in cold blood. Did she slaughter them? There was so much blood... and it was all over her clothes and hands. She squeezed herself tighter as her thoughts turned even darker. All she could think about was how Rapunzel’s blood was almost on her hands.

“Cass-”

“Leave me alone.” Cassandra responded flatly.

“Cassandra-”

“Leave me alone!” She shouted. “Can’t you see what I’ve done? What I almost did? I’m a monster! Just leave me alone before I-”

“Cassandra!!” Rapunzel was gripping her shoulders tightly. When did she get in front of her? She tried to look away but Rapunzel’s grip was tight. The moment she looked into Rapunzel’s worried emerald eyes, she broke. She knew she shouldn’t have, but she instinctively threw herself into Rapunzel’s arms. Rapunzel’s arms immediately circled her. Cassandra sobbed as she tightly held onto Rapunzel’s torso.

As the rain poured down on the both of them, Rapunzel didn’t move as Cassandra sobbed. Her hands were gently combing through her hair and she was whispering loving comforting words to her. She didn’t deserve this. But she couldn’t seem to find the energy to pull away.

“I’m sorry..” She mumbled after some minutes, her voice breaking and hoarse.

“Shh...” Rapunzel whispered while pulling her closer. “It’s okay, Cass..”

This time Cass did pull away. “But it’s not! I-I lost control and- god, Rapunzel, I don’t even remember it happening! I-If I hadn’t stopped, if I hadn’t realized, I could’ve...” She choked back a sob. She couldn’t say it.

“But you didn’t.” Rapunzel resorted.

“But I could’ve.”

“But you di-”

“Dammit Rapunzel, I was going too! When are you gonna see what a terrible, monstrous person I am?!”

“When are you gonna see that you’re not?!”

Cassandra was nearly in disbelief. “Are you serious? After all that back there - you still say something like that??”

"Yes, Cassandra! It was a kill or be killed situation! You did what you had to do.”

“What I had to do’, she says,” Cassandra muttered sarcastically. “What I had to do? There were many other things I could’ve done!”

“Okay, maybe, but it was a tough situation and you didn’t really have time to decide! I knew you wouldn’t have kil-”

“Is that what you’re telling yourself?” Cassandra laughed bitterly. “No, Rapunzel, I had every intention of killing every last one of them! It’s not the fact that it happened - it’s the fact that I don’t remember it happening! I could’ve gone after you and had no idea! I could’ve killed you!”

“No, no you wouldn’t have, you-”

“I tried to attack you!”

“I shouldn’t have come up from behind you-”

“Ugh, dammit Rapunzel! Stop making excuses for me! I lost control in an instant, I let my anger take me over, I let her take me over! I nearly attacked you! I nearly hurt you! I haven’t changed, not one bit. I tell myself I have but deep inside I’m still that same person; the same person that caused you pain, that hurt others. No, I’m worse! I’m a monster, a-a horrible person, a.. a villain! That’s what I’ll always be, a villian! I deserve the worse of the worst, I deserved to be hung, no I deserve worse than that. I deserve to suffer, I deserve it al-”

“Will you shut up and let me speak?!” Rapunzel shouted. Cassandra had never heard her yell like that before. She sounded more pissed off than Cassandra had ever heard her the entire time she's known her. She sounded vivid. “I’m not gonna sit here and let you talk this way about yourself like that!” When Cassandra opened her mouth to respond, she was shot a death glare that sent shivers down her spine. If not for the dire situation, she would’ve thought it was hot. “Maybe you did ‘lose control’, god knows those men deserved it after the acts they commited. The acts they were gonna commit. But if you seriously wanted to hurt me, you would’ve. You’re not perfect, Cassandra, everyone loses control from time to time!” She had used Cassandra’s full name more than once in the last 10 minutes. That’s when Cassandra knew Rapunzel was actually seriously pissed off. Cassandra knew to stay quiet. She didn’t have any energy to speak anymore anyway.

“You are one of the most kindest people I have ever met! I won’t let- No, I refuse to allow you to speak freely like this about yourself when everything you’re saying is wrong! Maybe you don’t see it, but I do! Your father does! Euge-”

“If my father and Eugene thought any different, then they wouldn’t have put me up for treason.” Cassandra’s voice was dripping with poison.

“We don’t know that it was them that put that out there!”

“But they’re not doing anything to stop it, are they?”

“How do you know, Cassandra? Tell me, how do you know?” That was the 3rd time she had called her by her full name.

“I-” Cass started, but then realized that she didn’t have an answer.

“That’s right, because you don’t know. My father is a stubborn man. He will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Even if Eugene or your dad or our other friends tried to fight for you, it wouldn’t have mattered. He’d have every last one of them in prison before sundown. So, you don’t know. What does it matter anyway? We’re not in Corona and we’re not going back, simple as that.”

“Fine, if what you’re saying is true, then why the hell did you look so scared of me, huh? That wasn’t imagined, I know what I saw.”

“I wasn’t scared of you, Cassandra, I was scared for you.” That was the 4th time. Rapunzel’s eyes softened but they still held anger. “I could never in a million years be scared of you. Ever. I was scared I wasn’t going to reach you, that you weren’t gonna hear me, I was scared that I was going to let you do something that I know you would've regretted later. You’re not a killer, Cassandra, I know you’re not.” 5th time. “I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. You would never. Not in a million years. No matter how lost you are, how much you ‘lose control’, I have faith that you will never ever hurt me.”

“Well, then your ‘faith’ is wrong. You’re forgetting about the fact that I was this close,” She showed with her fingers. ”This close to striking you down.”

“But you didn’t, did you?”

“No, but-”

“There’s no buts about it. You caught yourself, you realized, and you stopped. You didn’t hurt me. Actually, I’m pretty sure you saved me.”

“But that was this time, what about next? If I lose control again, complete control, if I submit to her and let her take me over... who knows what I’m capable of. What if I won’t be able to stop next time?”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“How do you know that-”

“Because we’ll work on it. Together. As it should be. If you really think that this is a problem that needs to be fixed, then we will fix it.”

“But how do we-”

“I will help you learn how to control your emotions better. We can hire an anger management teacher if that’s what it takes. If you seriously believe that this is gonna happen again, then we’ll make sure it doesn’t. Cassandra,” 6th time. She didn’t think Rapunzel ever used her full name that many times in the whole time they've known each other. “...you are the most amazing person I have ever known. I love you so much. But you need to stop hiding from me. If this is gonna work, if we’re gonna work, you need to be honest and true with me. I know it’s hard for you to talk about your emotions, and god knows I’m so proud about how far you’ve come in that aspect, but we’re gonna need to work something out. I don’t honestly think you need anger management classes, but if you’re actually scared about this, then we’ll get it done. I have some strategies of my own that I think will help you. I’m gonna do whatever it takes that will make you stop thinking these negative thoughts about yourself. Because none of it is true. And anyone who knows you, the real you, would agree. I just know it.”

“You would really do all that for me?” Cassandra asked. She never had anyone care for her like Rapunzel did. She knew Rapunzel loved her, but to the point where she would drop everything to help her? Despite the fact that she didn't agree with it? Just to make her happy? She was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she was loved this much. She had never been loved or cared for like this. 

Rapunzel smiled and brushed Cassandra’s wet bangs from out of her eyes. “Of course I would, silly,” Rapunzel pulled her against her chest and hugged her tightly. Cassandra clung onto her like a lost child. “I would do anything for you. Even if I had to completely change myself to make you happy, I would.”

“I don’t want you to change yourself... ever.” Cassandra mumbled.

Rapunzel smiled and pulled her even closer. Kissing the top of her head, she responded: “I know.”

“I really don’t deserve you.” Cassandra mumbled again.

Rapunzel let out a small laugh. “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.” Rapunzel stopped for a second before pulling back. “Hey, Cass, look at me, okay?” Cassandra pulled back to look her in the eye. “If it helps, remember, you’re not the only one who has done.. questionable decisions. I hurt you too, all those years ago.”

“But you didn’t mean too. I.. meant too.”

“Whether or not it was intentional, it still happened. And yet, it took me to literally this year to see what I did wrong. I never even properly apologized until this year. The point is, we all make mistakes Cass. It’s how we make up for those mistakes that shapes us. And trust me when I say, you have made up for it all these past couple years. You deserve the world. You don’t deserve all the cruelty that this world has put you through. You deserve none of it.”

Cassandra pulled back even more and pulled Rapunzel in for a sweet kiss. Surprised and caught off guard, Rapunzel took a second to compose herself before she melted into the kiss. She leaned into Cass as the kiss deepened. For what felt like minutes, Cass finally pulled away. ”You’re my world.” Cassandra whispered.

“And you’re mine.” Rapunzel nuzzled her before standing up and lending out a hand. “Now, come on. Let’s find some shelter from this rain.” Cassandra stared at her hand for a second before smiling and grabbing it. Rapunzel pulled her up.

Once up, a cool breeze blew across them and Rapunzel shivered. Cassandra’s eyes immediately turned to one of concern. “Are you cold?”

Rapunzel tried to smile but it only came off as a cold shiver. “Yeah, but I’ll be okay.” Cassandra shook her head and removed her jacket before pulling it over her shoulders. “Cass, I’m-”

“Shush. I don’t want you to catch a cold.” Rapunzel tried to argue but a sneeze, a rather cute one if Cass had anything to say about it, interrupted her. “Too late. Looks like you already caught one.” Cassandra placed a hand on her forehead only for it to be swatted away.

“I’m fine, Cass.” Rapunzel smiled but she pulled Cassandra’s jacket more around her. “Come on, I think I saw a cave up ahead.” Cassandra gave her a skeptical look. “Really, Cass, I’m fine. I don’t get sick. I never have.”

“Wait a second, you have never been sick?”

“Nope.” Rapunzel shivered but chuckled. “Since I never got out, there wasn’t anything to get sick off of. And since I left the tower, I guess I was just lucky.”

“Well, that concerns me even more! That means you haven’t built an immunity up for anything Raps.”

Rapunzel gave her a confused look. “A what now?”

Cassandra sighed and shook her head. “Never mind. Come on, let’s get to that cave.” Rapunzel nodded and followed after her. Cassandra could still see she was shivering, so she wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her in closer. Rapunzel gave her an appreciative smile and leaned into her warmth.

It was going to be a long night.

Whew! That was angsty. But you all know what’s coming! Sick day anyone? After this chapter, we definitely need some Cassunzel fluff! So that’s what I’m gonna give you! Hope you enjoyed it and please, stay tuned!