Romance Fan Fiction ❯ Denied Love ❯ Jealousy and tears ( Chapter 8 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Yaoi-Freak1990 
Miscellaneous: Romance Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.09.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 261 | Status: Work In Progress
Miscellaneous: Romance Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.09.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 261 | Status: Work In Progress
“Hey,” Adam walked over to us, “What’s goin on?”
“Nothing.” I sighed, “I was just going to bed.” Adam looked back and forth, from me to Austin. Austin kept his eyes to mine, I could tell he was not wanting me to go to bed. He still had things to tell me. Why had he fallen in love with me? He hadn’t known me very long.
“Nathan, I still wanted to talk to you.” Austin sounded desperate which caused confusion to twist into Adam’s face.
“Not tonight.”
“Just….think about it.” He waited for an answer. I only nodded and closed my bedroom door. I didn’t want to think about it. It just felt wrong…..actually…..it didn’t. What was keeping me from being with him? I’ve just always gone against the gay thing. How could I just date Austin? All those years would be wasted….all those times I fought with Adam, swearing up and down that I was straight.
But….I was gay. Adam was right. I never thought or looked at girls, I was always with Austin, I let him….God, I was stupid. I couldn’t just be like, ‘Oh, hey, Adam you’re right. I’m gay.’ I wouldn’t say that, but I would feel just as stupid. With a sigh, I laid down on my bed and spent the rest of the night trying to stay asleep.
****
The next morning, the three of us sat at the table munching quietly at our cereal. Adam finally spoke, “That’s it, you two are coming out tonight.” We just stared at him, “Nathan, you need to have some fun and Austin,” he sighed, “we’ve got to get you a date.”
“Fine, I’ll go, if you’ll shut up about it.” I felt so cranky.
“Ok.” Austin agreed, was he seriously wanting to meet another guy?
****
Hours later, Adam was driving us to the club, Pink Flame. When he pulled into the parking lot, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Adam was dressed in nice jeans and wore a very loud purple tank top type of shirt. His hair was very spiky and he wore a pair of gaudy earrings. Austin and I just stuck to the nice jeans and t-shirt. As soon as we stepped into the club, I already hated it. It reeked of cigarette’s and alcohol. There were many lesbians and gays dancing. I’d say about 60 percent of the club was women.
Adam instantly left us and headed for the bar. I stood off to the side of Austin awkwardly as the music blared in the club. A guy instantly walked up to meet Austin, “Hey,” he half-shouted over the music, “I’m Jarrod.” He was a tan, skinny guy with very bright green eyes. He was okay looking, but Austin seemed way too good looking for him. “Austin.” He introduced himself. “Want to have a drink with me?”
“Sure,” Austin looked at me and gave me a small wave, “later, Nathan.” I just watched him head toward the bar with the other man. I found an empty table and sat down feeling alone and pissed.
A little guy appeared by my side, dancing, “Hey, cutie, want to dance?”
I gave him a go-to-hell look and asked, “Does it look like I want to dance?” He apologized and left me alone. I was slightly relieved when Adam returned. He handed me a beer and sat next to me.
“I see Austin found a friend.” He grinned towards the bar where Austin and Jarrod sat side-by-side facing our direction, but totally wrapped up in their conversation. I said nothing and just stared at them. I felt as if I had been crushed. “What the hell is going on between you guys?”
I ignored his question and asked one of my own, “How can he go to a guy like that after he tells me he loves me?”
“Do you love him back?” I kept my eyes on Austin and didn’t answer. “Why do you care then?” I felt so angry and upset. I held back angry tears and kept myself focused on my beer bottle.
A very cute blonde girl sat down on my other side and wrapped her arm around me, “What’s a matter, sugar?” I couldn’t tell if she was drunk or not, but she reeked of alcohol.
“Nothing.”
“He’s just a little down. This is his first night out.” He said to her, “Nathan, this is my friend, Jenna.”
“Woo, you should dance then.” She pulled me up out of my chair and out onto the dance floor. Austin and I glanced at each other, but Jenna quickly turned me the other way. She began dancing and rubbed her hands all over my chest.
I grabbed her arms to stop her, “Whoa, aren’t you a lesbian?”
She grinned devilishly up at me, “I’m bi, Hun. What are you?”
“Uh, I don’t….do this.” I pushed her away.
“That’s a shame, you’re so cute.” She pushed herself up against me and whispered in my ear, “I could give you a wild night.”
“No, thanks.” I quickly went back over to Adam. As soon as I sat back down, I looked over to see Jarrod sneaking his arm around Austin’s waist. “I can’t take this anymore.” I quickly spun out of my chair and headed for the exit.
“Nathan!” Adam called after me. I kept my eyes lowered and quickly walked out of the club into the parking lot. As I crossed the parking lot, Adam ran after me. He stood in front of me and I stopped walking, glancing up at him. “If you love him, tell him.” I could tell Adam was through joking around about it.
“What happened?” I heard Austin ask, his steps quickened then stopped, he stood right behind me. I looked into Adam’s eyes, not wanting to answer Austin.
Adam kept his eyes locked to mine, “I think that girl freaked him out.” True, but that’s not what my problem was.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, you can go back to Jarrod.” I walked past Adam, heading towards his car.
“What? Are you mad at me?”
I turned to look at Austin, he was obviously confused. “No, but I don’t understand you.” I took a few steps towards him, “you tell me you love me then tell me to think about it. You don’t even give me 24 hours to think about it and you start flirting with other guys.”
His eyes showed that I had hurt him, they shown with tears that threatened to fall. “I didn’t think you loved me back, why would it bother you if I flirted with other men anyway?”
“Because….” I looked to the ground.
Austin walked up to me and I kept my eyes to his feet. He leaned in to me, “Just so you know, I wasn’t flirting with Jarrod. I was talking to him about you and asking him for advice.” I looked up at Austin, tears ran down his cheeks. He took a step back, “You know what, you don’t have to think about it. You obviously don’t want to me with me.” He turned away.
“How can you say that?” I took a step in his direction.
He turned back to me, “Cause when I said I love you, you could have said it back, but what did you do? You avoided me.” A single tear rolled down my cheek. He hesitated and with a small sniff, he turned and walked back towards the club.
I numbly turned and stood next to Adam’s car. Placing a hand on the car to steady myself, my other hand clasped my mouth as I choked on a sob. I heard Adam speak to Austin.
“How can you do that to him?”
“I did nothing.”
“Austin, he’s confused. Think about it, he’s always pushed away anything that was remotely gay, then you come along and all that changes. He’s just mad, not at you, but himself. Can you imagine how he feels right now?” Adam sounded desperate, pleading for Austin to understand. “Austin, please.”
I stood there, shaking, holding my breath. I didn’t want to lose him, why did I have to be so stupid? Adam walked over to stand in front of me and I bent my head down, hiding my face. My breathing was shaky and I trembled slightly. “Nathan,” he grabbed my forearms, “you have to say something.” I sniffed, again and again and again and again. “Do you just want to be friends with Austin?”
“N-no.” I squeaked out.
“Do you love him?” Why was that so hard to answer?
I was an asshole, that’s how I felt. They knew the answer, well Adam did, so why was it so hard to say one little word. I nodded slightly, “Y….y-yes.” Adam let go of me. “I’m sorry, Austin.”
Next thing I knew, his arms were wrapped around me from behind. “Don’t be,” he said in my ear, “it doesn’t matter now. I have you.” I don’t know why, but right then my shaking increased and I began to sob. He held me tightly as I cried, which felt forever. My sobs finally died down, I was only twitching with a sniff every so often.
“C-can we go home?”
“Yeah.” Adam said. I didn’t once look at Austin, he held my hand until we were home. I walked into the house and down the hall, then Austin stopped me by grabbing my arm.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I just….need a night, okay?”
“Yeah….sure…”
“I’m sorry, don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. I’m just feeling overwhelmed.”
“Okay, goodnight.”
I looked at him the first time since I cried and gave him a small smile, “Night.”
Yaoi-Freak1990- Ok, it’s six in the morning. I stayed up so long writing and typing this. *twitch* I really really really appreciate the reviews I’ve been getting lately. I’ve already started the next chapter to this story and all I can think about is writing. I will be getting more done for sure. *sigh* I need sleep, so thank you to those who have been reading! Review and let me know what you thought! THANKS!
“Nothing.” I sighed, “I was just going to bed.” Adam looked back and forth, from me to Austin. Austin kept his eyes to mine, I could tell he was not wanting me to go to bed. He still had things to tell me. Why had he fallen in love with me? He hadn’t known me very long.
“Nathan, I still wanted to talk to you.” Austin sounded desperate which caused confusion to twist into Adam’s face.
“Not tonight.”
“Just….think about it.” He waited for an answer. I only nodded and closed my bedroom door. I didn’t want to think about it. It just felt wrong…..actually…..it didn’t. What was keeping me from being with him? I’ve just always gone against the gay thing. How could I just date Austin? All those years would be wasted….all those times I fought with Adam, swearing up and down that I was straight.
But….I was gay. Adam was right. I never thought or looked at girls, I was always with Austin, I let him….God, I was stupid. I couldn’t just be like, ‘Oh, hey, Adam you’re right. I’m gay.’ I wouldn’t say that, but I would feel just as stupid. With a sigh, I laid down on my bed and spent the rest of the night trying to stay asleep.
****
The next morning, the three of us sat at the table munching quietly at our cereal. Adam finally spoke, “That’s it, you two are coming out tonight.” We just stared at him, “Nathan, you need to have some fun and Austin,” he sighed, “we’ve got to get you a date.”
“Fine, I’ll go, if you’ll shut up about it.” I felt so cranky.
“Ok.” Austin agreed, was he seriously wanting to meet another guy?
****
Hours later, Adam was driving us to the club, Pink Flame. When he pulled into the parking lot, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Adam was dressed in nice jeans and wore a very loud purple tank top type of shirt. His hair was very spiky and he wore a pair of gaudy earrings. Austin and I just stuck to the nice jeans and t-shirt. As soon as we stepped into the club, I already hated it. It reeked of cigarette’s and alcohol. There were many lesbians and gays dancing. I’d say about 60 percent of the club was women.
Adam instantly left us and headed for the bar. I stood off to the side of Austin awkwardly as the music blared in the club. A guy instantly walked up to meet Austin, “Hey,” he half-shouted over the music, “I’m Jarrod.” He was a tan, skinny guy with very bright green eyes. He was okay looking, but Austin seemed way too good looking for him. “Austin.” He introduced himself. “Want to have a drink with me?”
“Sure,” Austin looked at me and gave me a small wave, “later, Nathan.” I just watched him head toward the bar with the other man. I found an empty table and sat down feeling alone and pissed.
A little guy appeared by my side, dancing, “Hey, cutie, want to dance?”
I gave him a go-to-hell look and asked, “Does it look like I want to dance?” He apologized and left me alone. I was slightly relieved when Adam returned. He handed me a beer and sat next to me.
“I see Austin found a friend.” He grinned towards the bar where Austin and Jarrod sat side-by-side facing our direction, but totally wrapped up in their conversation. I said nothing and just stared at them. I felt as if I had been crushed. “What the hell is going on between you guys?”
I ignored his question and asked one of my own, “How can he go to a guy like that after he tells me he loves me?”
“Do you love him back?” I kept my eyes on Austin and didn’t answer. “Why do you care then?” I felt so angry and upset. I held back angry tears and kept myself focused on my beer bottle.
A very cute blonde girl sat down on my other side and wrapped her arm around me, “What’s a matter, sugar?” I couldn’t tell if she was drunk or not, but she reeked of alcohol.
“Nothing.”
“He’s just a little down. This is his first night out.” He said to her, “Nathan, this is my friend, Jenna.”
“Woo, you should dance then.” She pulled me up out of my chair and out onto the dance floor. Austin and I glanced at each other, but Jenna quickly turned me the other way. She began dancing and rubbed her hands all over my chest.
I grabbed her arms to stop her, “Whoa, aren’t you a lesbian?”
She grinned devilishly up at me, “I’m bi, Hun. What are you?”
“Uh, I don’t….do this.” I pushed her away.
“That’s a shame, you’re so cute.” She pushed herself up against me and whispered in my ear, “I could give you a wild night.”
“No, thanks.” I quickly went back over to Adam. As soon as I sat back down, I looked over to see Jarrod sneaking his arm around Austin’s waist. “I can’t take this anymore.” I quickly spun out of my chair and headed for the exit.
“Nathan!” Adam called after me. I kept my eyes lowered and quickly walked out of the club into the parking lot. As I crossed the parking lot, Adam ran after me. He stood in front of me and I stopped walking, glancing up at him. “If you love him, tell him.” I could tell Adam was through joking around about it.
“What happened?” I heard Austin ask, his steps quickened then stopped, he stood right behind me. I looked into Adam’s eyes, not wanting to answer Austin.
Adam kept his eyes locked to mine, “I think that girl freaked him out.” True, but that’s not what my problem was.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, you can go back to Jarrod.” I walked past Adam, heading towards his car.
“What? Are you mad at me?”
I turned to look at Austin, he was obviously confused. “No, but I don’t understand you.” I took a few steps towards him, “you tell me you love me then tell me to think about it. You don’t even give me 24 hours to think about it and you start flirting with other guys.”
His eyes showed that I had hurt him, they shown with tears that threatened to fall. “I didn’t think you loved me back, why would it bother you if I flirted with other men anyway?”
“Because….” I looked to the ground.
Austin walked up to me and I kept my eyes to his feet. He leaned in to me, “Just so you know, I wasn’t flirting with Jarrod. I was talking to him about you and asking him for advice.” I looked up at Austin, tears ran down his cheeks. He took a step back, “You know what, you don’t have to think about it. You obviously don’t want to me with me.” He turned away.
“How can you say that?” I took a step in his direction.
He turned back to me, “Cause when I said I love you, you could have said it back, but what did you do? You avoided me.” A single tear rolled down my cheek. He hesitated and with a small sniff, he turned and walked back towards the club.
I numbly turned and stood next to Adam’s car. Placing a hand on the car to steady myself, my other hand clasped my mouth as I choked on a sob. I heard Adam speak to Austin.
“How can you do that to him?”
“I did nothing.”
“Austin, he’s confused. Think about it, he’s always pushed away anything that was remotely gay, then you come along and all that changes. He’s just mad, not at you, but himself. Can you imagine how he feels right now?” Adam sounded desperate, pleading for Austin to understand. “Austin, please.”
I stood there, shaking, holding my breath. I didn’t want to lose him, why did I have to be so stupid? Adam walked over to stand in front of me and I bent my head down, hiding my face. My breathing was shaky and I trembled slightly. “Nathan,” he grabbed my forearms, “you have to say something.” I sniffed, again and again and again and again. “Do you just want to be friends with Austin?”
“N-no.” I squeaked out.
“Do you love him?” Why was that so hard to answer?
I was an asshole, that’s how I felt. They knew the answer, well Adam did, so why was it so hard to say one little word. I nodded slightly, “Y….y-yes.” Adam let go of me. “I’m sorry, Austin.”
Next thing I knew, his arms were wrapped around me from behind. “Don’t be,” he said in my ear, “it doesn’t matter now. I have you.” I don’t know why, but right then my shaking increased and I began to sob. He held me tightly as I cried, which felt forever. My sobs finally died down, I was only twitching with a sniff every so often.
“C-can we go home?”
“Yeah.” Adam said. I didn’t once look at Austin, he held my hand until we were home. I walked into the house and down the hall, then Austin stopped me by grabbing my arm.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I just….need a night, okay?”
“Yeah….sure…”
“I’m sorry, don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. I’m just feeling overwhelmed.”
“Okay, goodnight.”
I looked at him the first time since I cried and gave him a small smile, “Night.”
Yaoi-Freak1990- Ok, it’s six in the morning. I stayed up so long writing and typing this. *twitch* I really really really appreciate the reviews I’ve been getting lately. I’ve already started the next chapter to this story and all I can think about is writing. I will be getting more done for sure. *sigh* I need sleep, so thank you to those who have been reading! Review and let me know what you thought! THANKS!