Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Shadows of Cyan ❯ Reality Or Illusion? ( Chapter 5 )

*****Reality Or Illusion******
Chapter Five of Shadows of Cyan
by: wingsofsakon

Ryo leaned against the banister on the porch. Waiting and watching for any sign of the missing friends. That had left in a whirlwind of emotions. The day's light was slowly fading away into the dusky dark colors of the oncoming night. Yet there was no sight of them yet. He had no clue to where they might have gone to. He had no clue or idea if Shuu even found him after he left. It wasn't very often that they got Shuu upset at them. So, they knew it was serious enough to take notice of if he said or did anything. The last thing he had wanted was for Shin to leave. So, he had done his best to sort out the problems that were causing so much anguish between his friends. They had even managed to find a replacement table. Now it was just a matter of time. That the feelings of forgiveness would start to come into play.

He couldn't help it though. The way he acted was the only way he could. He didn't want to believe that what happened… did. He didn't want to believe that it all happened… just because it did. This was some thing that just didn't feel or make sense. Although, if altering his perception would allow Shin to stay. He would do his best to make sure he did what it took. He had tried to believe that Shin wasn't the center of his world. Although he had found out the hard way, that he was indeed.

"Ryo?… you been out here most of the evening. Is there some thing wrong?" Touma asked.

"Just waiting and thinking… they've been gone all day."

"They're fine."

"I know… "

"Are you sure you're all right?" He insisted.

"I wished things were like they used to be."

"What do you mean?"

"Peaceful."

"Ryo, things haven't changed that much."

"Yes, it has. Can't you feel it in the air?" Ryo asked as he turned to look at him. Seeing a strange look on his face. "Never mind." He added gently, as he looked back tot he driveway.

"Hey, if you need any thing. I'm going to be inside." Touma said as he left.

"How is he?" Seiji asked as Touma sat down on the chair in the living room.

"I don't know."

"What?"

"He's acting strange. He's out there… just waiting and reminiscing."

"He might be just nervous. You know he plans on talking to Shin when he gets back."

"I know, but perhaps we should watch him anyway."

Seiji let the words sink as Touma turned his attention the television. It was strange in deed. The way things were working out. It almost felt like a fresh start in a guilty sense of ways. It started with the accident. Then every thing just seemed to go downhill from then on. He was happy that he now had a real chance with Touma. Even though they had not yet made sort of move to say it was so. He could feel it deep inside. All this was happening because of the accident and because of Shin. This was another matter in its self.

Seiji was serious when he told he loved him. He was serious when he made love to him. Where he had felt at peace and safe near him as close as he could be. That's when it hit him... It wasn't just the sensual and exciting rapture of the aspects. It was every thing that was Shin. That had him swirling on into the depths of the night. He seemed like a hidden light of sanctuary. Reaching out to him and embracing him. Pushing away the darkness with every kiss he lavished to his skin. From the tender lips to the crease of his neck: trailing over his chest to the crease of his inner elbow. He tasted so sweet as he nipped at the tender flesh there.

Listening to the slight change in his breathing and sensing the small shutters coming from his… for tonight… little water warrior. Seiji opened his eyes to over look the toned curves of his forearm that was perfect up to the wrist where he was holding him to the sheets. Up and over the palm and decided to leave a kiss then up to the fingertips. He was truly heaven he confirmed as the night shined rays of the light blue moon through the window and over the silky image he held in regards of an angel.

No, scars…

Seiji sat there in shock as thought about it but every time he thought about it. He still came to the same conclusions. No matter how he thought about that night. He still couldn't remember there ever being any kind of scaring on his body. He truly was… flawless. Then again he tried to think it through more. Doing his best to find a sensible answer. This is what he assumed: He was simply just to wrapped up in what was going to realize it, because he didn't really care anyway. All he wanted… was Shin. So, there was only one thing left to do. Take another look. He was jerked from his thoughts as the screen door slammed and he quickly looked over his shoulder to see who it was. It was Shin and Ryo followed quickly behind him up the stairs to Shin's room: where he lost sight of them.

"Will you please give us a second chance?" Ryo pleaded as he shut the door.

"I would, Ryo, but I can't allow that."

"What do you mean by that?"

"If I do I know every thing is just going to get worse." Shin said as he turned around to face him.

"What do you mean, Shin? We've turned a few things around. At least give us a chance."

"I couldn't be happier about that, Ryo. Believe me it's great. Although, I do have to leave."

"Why? Truthfully… why? You'll mess us up again. We need you too much to just let you leave with out a fight."

"There's no use wining about it, Ryo."

"I'm not. I'm just telling you that it's not as easy for us as it may be for you to go."

Shin gave him an incriminating look as he slightly tilted his head.

"Wait… that's not what I meant."

"I know what you mean and it's not going to keep me here."

Ryo bit his lip as emotions start to push their way out. He could see that Shin was on the other side of the line and he was ready to let it go. He knew that once he made up his mind. There was no way he could change it. Unless he could find one extremely good reason.

"I'm not ready to lose you all over again. I would do any thing to be with you again, Shin. I would follow you to the ends of the world and beyond that. You have to believe me, Shin. Please, tell me what's so wrong with staying. Tell me what's out there waiting for you. Tell me why you want to leave us and tell me… tell me why you don't love me. Because if you truly did you wouldn't leave me like this, even if we are just friends. Tell me." Ryo asked as emerald eyes stared back.

"Ryo… I know you would and I want to stay. This is why I'm having such a hard time doing it. I love you like I used to when we were a strong force together. I love you, Ryo. As far as what's out there… I don't know what's waiting for me, but it's calling me from my heart and soul. This is ripping me apart and you are so far away from me. That I can't even feel the hurt, I need you to hold me. I need you to love me. I need you to tell me the things you used to. I need you so much, but… " Shin's voice faded as he turned away.

"But what?" Ryo asked not getting an answer. "Tell me Shin… please?"

"We all have to say goodbye sooner or later."

"I don't believe that and never did."

"I know."

"Then let me hold you. Let me love you again. If you won't stay… I'll follow you. You know that, because nothing means anything if you're not at my side. Don't leave us… you're the center of us."

"I don't think I can any way, Ryo."

"Why is that?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around him.

"We're both not strong enough for that yet." Shin said as he let the warmth of his embrace sooth him.

Ryo rested his chin on Shin's shoulder. Feeling the gap slowly close. That was keeping them apart. He didn't know what he was going to do if he had left. He was every thing to him and more. If he had only known how bad it was. When he had lost him the first time. The accident wasn't some thing he'd forget lightly. It held an emotional scar within him. Although, he had done his best to push it away. He snapped from his thoughts as Shin shuddered roughly in his arms. Breaking the embrace as he hit the floor.

"Shin!" He said as he kneeled by his side. "What's wrong, love?" He asked as he put a hand on his back. Still getting no answer. "Please, Shin. Tell me what's wrong." He got nothing as he watched him clutch at the carpet and shake from pain.

There was nothing he could do and it was starting to make him panic. Frustrated he got up and yelled out the door to the others. Attention quickly went back to Shin who was starting to sweat and cry out. "R..yo!" He managed as he tried to stand up, but collapsed back to where he was in an instant.

Footsteps ran up the stairs as they got closer. Stopping to a halt when they saw what had happened.

"What's wrong?" Touma asked Ryo.

"I don't know… he just collapsed." He answered franticly.

"Grab him. We'll bring him in. At this rate we'll be faster than an ambulance." Seiji said as he motioned to Shuu to pick him up.

Shuu picked him up and tried to keep him from wriggling out of his grasp. Struggling him self as he made his way out to the vehicle. As soon as Ryo was in he let him have Shin back in his arms as he got in and held his legs.

Shin held onto and arm that wrapped around him. Doing his best to fight off what ever it was. That was making so much pain. It felt like forever before they got to the emergency room. When the back door opened it was Seiji who grabbed him. Holding him tightly but to make sure he wasn't hurting him any more. He ran in and found the desk empty.

"What is this." Ryo stated flatly as he scurried around the building looking for help.

Touma stood next to the desk and noticed that there was a button there. That was put there purposely for emergencies. Instinctively he pushed it and kept looking down the halls. "There." Touma said as he saw some one taking their time getting to the desk. "Hurry Up!"

"Shin, you have to ease up a little." Seiji calmly said when he felt fingertips gouge into the side of his neck.

"What's the problem?" The women asked as she stood behind the desk.

"If we knew would it matter? He needs help." Ryo snapped.

"What's the cause?" She asked dryly.

"Does it look like we know? C'mon! Get some one down here."

"He just collapsed. We don't know why and he's in a lot of pain." Shuu interrupted.

"Allergies or any medical history?" She asked now looking at Shuu.

"None that we know of."

The women turned around and made a quick phone call. "Some one will be with you shortly. In the mean time you can put him on the bench. You might drop him."

Seiji shot her a look. "I won't drop him."

"You shouldn't be carrying him anyway. Now you can either put him down or I can call and… "

"And you can finish telling me after I get done kicking your ass." Seiji glared. "I'm not going to hurt him and I know very well what I can and can't do. It's safe enough for me to hold him so can it!" He tried to keep his emotions in check, but failed. Then he heard a slight whimper from where Shin's face was buried in his neck. "Do you want me to… " He asked much more calmly. Shin answering only by holding on tighter.

"Fine, I did warn you though." She stated.

"Seiji… " Touma blurted catching the blonde's attention before he had a chance to say anything. "She's insignificant."

Just then Ryo came around the corner. Pushing a bed that he had found vacant in the hallway. "Look what I found."

"You didn't have permission to touch that."

"Hey! My friends don't rate benches let alone my lover. So back off since you people are taking your sweet time." Ryo said as he wheeled it to Seiji. Leaving the nurse stunned for a moment.

"Shin... I'm going to put you down. Brace yourself… " Seiji said softly as he let him slide off his arms on to the bed.

Ryo sat down next to him brushing away the damp hair from his face as Seiji lifted up the bar on the other side.

"He's looking worse… " Ryo said as he looked at him. His skin had gone pale and his lips turned red from biting them.

"Here… " Touma said as he pulled a warm blanket over Shin gently.

"Where was that?" Shuu asked. "I was looking for those."

"Near the end of the left hall."

"That's it. I'm calling security." The nurse said as she picked up the phone.

"While you're at it call a doctor." Shuu said as he watched her start her call.

"I already did, but you refuse to listen to me." Here words seemed to melt away as they watched Shin. Start to double over on his side and hide his face in the pillow.

"Hurry Up And Get Some One Down Here!!!!" Ryo shouted at her.

"Where here." A couple of guys said as they came around the corner. "Looks like you have every thing all ready for us."

"Only because you took too long." Shuu stated.

"We're sorry about that, but we didn't know till a few minutes ago."

Shin slightly stopped shaking and turned his head back to be completely on his side. Revealing that he had drawn blood that time.
Ryo slid his hand up the side his back to cup the side of his face and leaned in to give him a kiss. After a moment he broke it.

"They're ready for you my love." Ryo said as he pushed back auburn hair again. "I'll see you later." He added softly as he got up and let one of them put up the side railing.

"Take good care of him." Touma said as they were ready to leave.

"We'll do our best."

Seiji stood there and watched them disappear behind the doors around a corner. The room went silent and it stung his ears. The white walls seemed to be tinted green as the hall tilted slightly and the smell of detergents intoxicated his sense of smell. He was now in their hands and there was nothing to do but wait. Like before… he had to wait and he wasn't any help. There was nothing he could do, but… wait and see if he had made it in time.

When he had brought him in last time. It was the same all except it was all a blur and all he saw were the things he had to right in front of him. The rest was a blur of white that seemed to fade into nothing. When he had slightly snapped out of it. He had realized that he had passed out and they had him in a room next to Shin. Where it had grown quiet…

It wasn't long after that. That the others had found him. They must have found a ride in right after him. They waited there in silence just like now. So quiet that it rang in your ears. Coolness surrounded his skin and he welcomed the warmth of the heater in the room he was in. Seconds ticketed by into minutes that entwined to an hour or so. Then it was the footsteps he heard. The ones that he would never forget as long as he lived. It was the doctor. He looked up at Ryo and the rest of his friends as they knew. What was about to happen, but always pushed it aside. He would come around that door and give them the news.

That's when it had all happened. The shadows were cast and the colors of cyan washed across the night. Letting shadows come and play their games. The ones that guided them and pushed them to the edge. Only to come back again in one mass of broken mirrors of emotions. That's when the mists had formed that they had seemed to get lost in. Going in and out of the wrong paths until the only one that could… had saved them from themselves. He had to leave… it was his time. Yet the bond that held them together wouldn't permit such a loss until they could handle the reality. That would bring them back to very moment that they had gotten lost in.

It was a complete and utter shock when he saw what he did. The room twirled and the lights stung his eyes. His friends were soaked in rain and mud. Cluttered together from their wounds from the accident. It was then he looked at himself. He was caked in the ground that he had crawled through. His shirt carried tints of light to deep red. He was still sitting there… one the hard bench. That was right next to where they were keeping Shin. He tugged at his shirt still trying to understand and then looked up again to his friends. Who seemed just as shocked as he was. Not sure if they should be angry, sorrowful or just plain empty. Like a hum of the light above him. He had heard them again. Footsteps that walked closer and closer. Until he came around the corner.

"You're the ones who brought Shin Mouri in?" He said as he put a pen in his pocket.

Seiji sat there in shock until his lips let out a meekly. "Yes… "

"We umm… we did the best that we could. Although… we feel it was a serious head injury." The doctor hesitated.

"So what are you saying?" Ryo said as he snapped out of silent mode and went along with it.

"He was too far gone for us to help him… " He answered as he hung his down.

"Say it." Ryo said as he took a closer step.

"He stopped breathing. There was no chance… "

"Tell me." Ryo demanded.

"He died ten minutes ago, I'm truly sorry."

"No. He wasn't that bad! They just brought him back there. How could that of happened?"

"He's been here for over an hour." He replied.

"No he hasn't! You didn't even try did you! Did you?!"

"Yes, we did. The accident was just too much for him. If we had him here sooner... Perhaps we might have had a chance, but even then it would have been rare. So, don't blame yourself."

"What? No, it's been a long time since the accident. You must have the charts messed up. We just brought him in."

"There was no mistake."

"I told him I wouldn't let him go! Get back in there and try harder! Now!"

"It's too late."

"Ryo… " Shuu said. "He didn't make it."

Ryo stood there a second as the doctor left.

"Then… no, he recovered. He came home with us. Don't you remember?… He threw the phone at us." Ryo asked Seiji.

"And you broke the table." Touma said looking at Seiji also.

"Look, what ever happened, happened. Let's leave it at that. I don't have any answers." Seiji said as he slid off the bench.

"Seiji, how can you say that? We all know it happened and remember the same stuff. He's fine… c'mon lets go find him."

"Ryo. Stop it. You heard the doctor." Touma said catching Ryo by the arm before he left out the door.

Ryo stood in the doorway giving them a blank stare. "He was here? What did he say? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Ryo… " Touma let slip from his lips.

"How is he? Where is he?"

"Ryo… " Touma was starting to say before he changed his mind. "He's at home."

"Touma." Seiji scolded with a gasp from Shuu.

"What?" Ryo asked in astonishment.

"It was all a trick. He's waiting for you at home. It was to… get you two closer." Touma lied flat.

"No way… he was in pain. His lip was bleeding… I can still taste it."

"Really, Ryo. It was all a show. He wanted to let you know. What it felt like to be with out him. So, you'd… love him even more. When you got back… " Touma said as he tried to ease his friend's mind.

"Touma… don't." Seiji whispered from behind him.

"First I'm going to wring his neck… Then I'll make up with him." Ryo said happily as he left.

"Touma. You had no right to say that to him." Seiji scolded again.

"He's right, Touma. His head's not on strait anyway. Now he has that to sort out to." Shuu added.

"Couldn't you see it in his face? He's already gone. That's the only thing I could think of to get him home."

"So what are you going to tell him when we get home and he doesn't find him there?" Seiji asked.

"I don't know… Hey, what else were we supposed to do?"

"He's in shock, Touma. We should have told some one." Seiji answered.

"Most shock goes away, Seiji. I say we give him some time on his own to figure it out and through. This is Ryo… we can't just give up hope on him. Shin's gone and you know that he's going to figure it out sooner or later." Touma reasoned.

Seiji, Shuu and Touma looked at each other. Not knowing how things would be now. That they had lost their kindest warrior and the other was still lost.

"Do you think we can handle it?" Shuu spoke up first.

"If we can't… we'll get him help." Seiji said in compliance.

"So, it's settled we bring him home then?"

They nodded their heads.

"Good… I don't want to lose any one else."

The conversation broke. When Ryo poked his head around the corner. "C'mon. Shin's waiting for me." He said enthusiastically.

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A/N: Confusing?… many miss-spelled words and arrangements no doubt. Still wanna know what happened after that? Really?… I don't believe that, but just in case. Enjoy the epilogue…