Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ A New Light ❯ Chapter 7 ( Chapter 7 )

Never mind what I said about wrapping this up soon…it's not going to happen for a few more chapters…* banging head on keyboard * Bao Blossom, I've been pregnant so I know what it's like first hand ;-) as for my rapid chapter upload, let say I have a lot of time on my hands right now…I've become obsessed with finishing this fic, and have totally neglected my other work Beyond Darkness, which I'm trying to illustrate…sigh, that's okay though…this fic is fun to write and you all are so encouraging…I plan to do another one after this, but probably not quite as long (I always tell myself that, but I don't think I'm capable of writing a one shot)…anyhoo, on with the story! Oh, and I'm fairly certain there's some OOC in this chapter…but then again, we've never seen KandK in this type of situation…so I wrote it on how I thought they might react….hopefully it worked out okay….(sweatdrop)

Standard disclaimers apply

Chapter 7

"Yahiko! Your. Not. Paying. Attention!" Kaoru shouted, swinging her bokken with each word, "Mou!" She connected with the last shout and sent the boy flying and his sword crashing to the floor with a noisy clatter.

The dark haired youth groaned as he pushed himself up from the floor, rubbing the back of his neck in pain, "Gee busu," he muttered, "Not so hard! You don't have to kill me you know!"

"Not yet anyway. I intend to knock that arrogance right out of your thick little head!" The tip of her wooden sword made a threatening click as it tapped against the floor.

Yahiko eyed his instructor wearily, "She's in one of her moods," he thought to himself. He regarded her carefully as he retrieved his sword from the corner.

Kaoru's blue eyes blazed at him and her face was set in a fierce scowl. She leaned heavily on her sword, her other hand resting in the curve of her back. Even at the end of her fourth month of pregnancy, Kaoru was capable of giving Yahiko a beating if it suited her. "I swear, you have been slacking off for weeks now! Did you leave your brain in bed or something?" she barked.

He scowled at the girl but did not bother to reply. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he just couldn't raise his sword against a pregnant woman, especially her. His training sessions became daily beatings the week after Kaoru and Kenshin's wedding, and Kaoru became increasingly brutal with each passing day, noting how he only half heartedly put any effort into the training sessions. In the back of his head was a looming fear, one she didn't seem to understand, there was always a possibility something could go horribly wrong and she could get hurt.

Kenshin, Sano, and Megumi all expressed their displeasure at the idea of her continuing their practices. Each one aware that all it would take is a bad connection, a bad fall, a slow reflex too seriously injure her and the baby. Yet Kaoru insisted, stating that she could not allow her student to go untrained for seven months, and pointing out that she had indeed trained him during the first two months of her pregnancy with no troubles. She agreed to tone down the sparing, using instead slow motion techniques to illustrate the moves she was teaching him, but on occasion her temper got the better of her and she let him have it. Yahiko refused to defend himself and accepted the beatings.

She was becoming noticeably pregnant now, at least to those who lived in the dojo. Her stomach was no longer flat, and when she wore her yakuta, they could see the gentle slope of her belly below the ties. For some reason, her slightly bulging belly solidified Yahiko's determination not to take up the sword against her. The baby was far to real to him now and he could not bear to think of himself doing anything to hurt it.

"Are you going to pick that up or not?" she growled, motioning to his bokken.

"Kaoru," Yahiko pleaded.

The instructor gave him a funny look as he mentioned her name. She didn't need to ask him what was bothering him, and she felt a momentary lightening of her heart at his concern for her well being, but it was soon overshadowed by a distinct irritation. "Yahiko, if you can be bested by a pregnant woman, you need more practice that I could possibly give you."

She was sorry the instant the words left her mouth. The boy was a fine student and his current hesitance had nothing to do with his skill. His worry and concern for her well being was the only thing that caused his sword to falter, yet she could not bring her self to muster up an apology. She was tired of being coddled and pressed by watchful eyes. It was bad enough Kenshin hovered like a mother hen most days, Sano was almost as bad when he was around, and now her student was expressing the same reluctance. She could almost feel their disapproving looks crawling over her skin like ants when she didn't eat as much as they thought she should, if she tried to carry the laundry, when she practiced with Yahiko, or if she walked down to the river. It was a never-ending cycle of suffocation and she was tired of being treated like a toddler.

"Kaoru," a voice rang sharply from the doorway, "That wasn't necessary, was it?"

Kaoru turned to see Kenshin standing just inside the hall, his arms loaded with sheets and clothing, and a slight frown on his face.

She stared at him a moment, teetering on the edge of being apologetic or angry. She could see Yahiko staring at the floor, his pride wounded from her hurtful words. The boy worked hard to exceed her and Kenshin's expectations, yet she could not find the decency to apologize. "Mou!" she shouted, stalking across the floor of the dojo and pushing Kenshin out of her way.

Kenshin watched her go, his brows arched at her infuriated display, then turned back to the young samurai.

"She didn't mean it Yahiko," Kenshin offered softly, his wife's regret was not lost on his remarkable perception.

"I know Kenshin," he replied, "It's not that."

Kenshin set the laundry down, seeing that the boy needed to talk about what ever was eating away at his mind, "What is it then?" He motioned for the boy to sit down.

Yahiko dropped to the floor in a heap. He gingerly fingered the wood of his bokken, not sure of what to say.

The man that sat before him represented the embodiment of his inspiration. He admired and respected him more than any other person he knew and wanted nothing more than to gain his approval. Yet what he felt went far deeper than just commendation between two swordsmen, Kenshin had become much more than a fellow samurai had. He was the most important person in his life and the center of this little family. He was the only father figure Yahiko knew and he could not allow himself to disappoint this amazing man, nor could he do anything to disrupt his trust.

"What is it Yahiko," Kenshin asked again, his face puzzled.

The boys dark eyes looked fixedly upon Kenshin, "I can't do this anymore, " he stated.

Kenshin frowned, "Do what?" he pressed.

Yahiko let out an exasperated sigh and wished he were better with his words, "I can't train with Kaoru. I can't concentrate. It feels…wrong."

Kenshin sat back and closed his eyes. He had to agree with the boy on this one. He did not like the idea of his pregnant wife sparing, even in the minutest form, and training in the art of swordsmanship. It was too dangerous and Kaoru failed to see it that way. He left her be for the time being, but failed to foresee the affects it would have on her student. It didn't surprise Kenshin in the least that the youngster felt this way; he was full of pride and honor. Raising a sword against a pregnant woman went against every fiber in his being.

"If I hurt her, you'd be angry," he heard the boy say quietly.

Kenshin's eyes snapped open and he stared at the boy in front of him, "Yahiko, I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt Kaoru or my child." He remembered how this spirited young boy threw himself into the face of death several times for his own sake as well as his wife's, "Do you think I'm that quick to judge?"

Yahiko shook his head. He knew Kenshin could occasionally lose his rationality, but he was considerably levelheaded when it came to the matters that arose within their small family circle.

"I don't like Kaoru's disregard for the dangers of training any more than you do. It's difficult for her to admit her body is not going to allow her to do what she pleases and she's frustrated at the restrictions that have been put on her."

Yahiko cocked his head at Kenshin, briefly thinking how his instructor's "restrictions" had sent him spinning earlier, "Why does she have to be so stubborn?"

Kenshin laughed and patted his head, "You two have a lot in common."

The boy scowled, "Yah, whatever Kenshin, but what do I do? I can't tell her I refuse to practice with her anymore. She's my sensei."

Kenshin noted the desperation in Yahiko's voice, "Don't worry, I'll talk with Kaoru."

*********

Dinner was extremely tense at the Kamyia dojo that night. The food was served and eaten in a stony silence by the three residents. Only the sounds of chopsticks and dishes echoed in the kitchen. Even Yahiko ate his meal with strained reservation, excusing himself after one helping.

Kaoru picked at her food as well, shoving the rice around, glancing occasionally at Kenshin's melancholy expression. He gave her a simple greeting when she sat down for dinner, but had not looked at her since.

She knew the cause of his pensiveness was her malicious outburst earlier in the day. She had let her anger get the better of her and took it out on the nearest person available. She shouldn't have said what she did, but she was not sorry for being angry. They did not realize how much they smothered her, making her feel trapped and treating her like she was a helpless invalid. It was like she wasn't even human to them anymore, instead she had become a thing that needed to be put behind glass or packed away in a box of soft cloth.

Tears began to sting her eyes as the anger grew. She watched Kenshin sip his tea in silence, fieghning complete ignorance to her current state. "He's deliberately ignoring me," she thought. Her anger now fully sparked, she slammed her chopsticks down on the tray in front of her and pushed away her food, glaring at him.

Kenshin took another long drink of tea, closing his eyes as the steam caressed his brow. He could sense the rancor in Kaoru's spirit, crying out like a warrior to him. He was trained to battle from a young age, but those types of fights consisted of swords and weapons, the one brewing before him was of a totally different nature and he wasn't sure how to approach it. He never had, nor intended to, fight with Kaoru. The idea of being angry with her seemed impossible, but he was definitely displeased with her now.

He could feel her eyes boring into his skull, like sharp daggers, the intense flare of her ki dancing around him, "Is there something you'd like to discuss, Kaoru?"

Kaoru grit her teeth at the flatness of his voice and how it made her feel inferior to him some how, "No," she hissed back.

Kenshin looked at her out of the corner of his eye, "Is that so? You're clearly upset about something, kioshii. " He looked at her now, his eyes glinting a deep purple. When she didn't answer he took it upon himself to continue, "Does it have to do with what happened today in the dojo?"

Kaoru wanted to reach out and choke the life out of him. His voice was so calm, almost smug. She could feel her fists balling in her lap and she met his question with silence once again.

"Yahiko has a point Kaoru, " knowing that she was well aware of why the young swordsman was having such a hard time training with her, "and it's unfair of you to force him to train like this."

"Unfair! I'll tell you what's unfair!" she finally shouted, but Kenshin put his hand up to silence her.

"He cannot raise his sword against you Kaoru. He won't."

Kaoru felt her face go hot, "I am not a piece of pottery or fine china Kenshin. Why can't you all realize that?"

Kenshin set his cup down on the tray, " I know that Kaoru, but sword training is far too dangerous right now, even for a strong woman like you. I can't, and I won't allow it to continue."

"What did he just say?" her mind screamed. "Do they think I'm a complete idiot and that I don't know when to stop. Does he think I'd intentionally put our child in danger?" Yes, she knew that training could be dangerous, but she had not sparred with Yahiko since the end of her second month, instead just going through the motions of a battle, memorizing the movements.

"Do you think I'm so irresponsible that I don't know my own limits? Do you have that little faith in me?" she yelled, her anger completely unleashed.

"I didn't say that."

"You don't have to."

"What's that suppose to mean?" he replied, his temper flaring slightly, but he bit his tongue.

"I see the way you all look at me when I'm doing something that isn't deemed 'appropriate' according to your standards. I can't carry the laundry, I can't fill the bath, I can't carry the water, I don't eat enough, I don't sleep enough. I'm constantly being told what to do and what not to do by you all. By people who have never even been pregnant to say the least! I'm a prisoner in my own home!" Kaoru took a deep breath, "Why don't you lock me in our room for the next four months!"

Kenshin stared at her in astonishment, he hadn't realized she felt so smothered. She hadn't said anything to anyone about it, especially not to him. "Maybe she has, but you didn't listen," something in his mind whispered. Had he been so wrapped up in his concern for her that he failed to notice her distress? Their actions only expressed how much they cared for her well being and were given with the best of intentions. "Kaoru, I…we…only want to take care of you. Maybe we got a little carried away. "

"Maybe?" Kaoru glared hard at him, "That's all you can say?"

Kenshin rubbed his temples, "This isn't going well, " he thought. "Kaoru, I'm sorry for smothering you, but I must tell you I don't want you training anymore. Do it from the sidelines. I'll spar with him, you instruct." That sounded like a decent compromise to him, both sides won, and Yahiko surely wouldn't object.

"What kind of half hearted apology was that?" Kaoru arched a brow and stood up, "You train Yahiko," she stated.

"What?"

"I'm tired," she replied, bowing formally, "May I be excused?" She didn't bother to wait for his answer as she turned and left the kitchen.

"Kaoru!" he shouted after her.

***********

Sano came through the gates of the dojo, chewing on a fish bone, hands stuffed him his pockets, "Hey Kenshin," he called out in greeting to the swordsman who was furiously scrubbing the stains out of some article of clothing. As he approached he could see the intense scowl on the man's face, and the darkened circles under his eyes. "What happened to you? You look like you haven't slept a wink."

Kenshin gave him a sidelong glare and scrubbed the towel harder. He had no intention of telling the gangster that he spent the night on the porch, unable to sleep because of his argument with his wife. He could have gone to their room if he wished, but he much rather indure the cold of the night than the coldness he knew waited for him in his bed.

Sano gave his friend a strange look, but decided against pressing the matter further. The look in Kenshin's eyes was enough to kill someone, and the sword at his side didn't do anything to set Sano's mind at ease. "Okay," he muttered, "I think I'll go see if there's any food in the kitchen."

Inside the dojo, the gangster stumbled across a meditating Yahiko. The day was a strange one to say the least, Yahiko never took his meditations this seriously. Sano walked up behind him and issued the boy a swift kick. "Hey, what the hell is going on around here!"

Yahiko pushed himself off the floor and shot Sano a glare, dusting off his clothes in the process. "You don't want to know," he replied flatly.

Sano plopped down next to the boy, "Try me." This situation was far to intriguing to ignore.

Yahiko took a deep breath, cursing his tall friend's persistence, but deciding he'd better fill him in on the details. Sano had a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, and making things incredibly worse in the process.

He started off with the previous day's events, the training room incident, his talk with Kenshin, and the tension at dinner. "And I heard Kaoru shouting last night after I left. They had an argument Sano," Yahiko shook his head in disbelief.

The gangster scratched his head, "Wow, where was I when this all happened," he muttered. A shouting Kaoru didn't surprise him in the least, but he could not picture the small samurai raising his voice at Jou-chan, but from what the boy had just told him, it was apparent words were exchanged. "Did you train with her today?"

Yahiko shook his head, "No, she didn't get up until really late, and left shortly after eating breakfast. They didn't even say a word to each other all morning…" the boy let his voice trail off, his face becoming tense with worry.

Sano rose and moved to the door, watching Kenshin thrash the laundry forcefully, totally oblivious to the world going on around him. "Huh," he shrugged, "That poor guy is fit to be tied." He did feel bad for his friend's current anguish, but found it slightly amusing. Kenshin normally hid his feelings so well, but this time he'd encountered something he wasn't certain how to deal with, and his normally cool persona was shattered.

"This isn't funny Sano," Yahiko shouted, noting the slight smirk on the gangster's face.

Sano laughed quietly, "Don't worry Yahiko. Married people fight, it will all blow over."

"Maybe," the boy sighed. Kaoru did apologize to him before she left. It was simple apology, with no explanations, and he couldn't help to worry that she was somehow angry with him as well, "I think this is all my fault," he muttered.

Sano looked at the boy, "Nah, don't worry about it, Yahiko. This is between them." He gestured to the man in the yard, "So, where did Jou-chan go?"

"The Akabeko," Yahiko replied.

********

Kenshin hung the last of the laundry out to dry, his fingers pruny and raw from the rigorous efforts of his chore. This was the first time in a long while that he didn't enjoy doing the laundry. As he was washing, the argument played over and over again in his head like a bad dream, and the more he thought about it, the more muddled his emotions became.

He was absolutely perplexed, he never intended the conversation to get so out of hand, and he couldn't believe he had actually raised his voice at Kaoru. He didn't think he was capable of such a thing and his heart was heavy at the thought. He tried to explain his concerns to her and offer a compromise, but his words only made her angrier. "You didn't explain anything to her, you idiot," his mind howled, "You 'told' her what to do and didn't even bother to ask what was bothering her."

At the time, his words seemed like good ones, perfectly logical in his mind. "Logical, but insensitive," he heard himself think. His master told him once that the minds of women were driven by emotion, and logic had no place in their vocabulary. Kenshin grimaced at the memory, "Your more like a woman than just in looks, boy," his master had laughed. He knew women's minds worked differently, and he couldn't possibly try to figure out what went on inside the private thoughts of his wife. All he was aware of was his need to protect her and her happiness.

"Looks like your doing a good job," his mental beating continued, "Your worries have blinded you again, and you failed to see you were making her unhappy." The thought frightened him and he was aware that he had no idea how to make things right again. He feared his oversight and insensitivity had scarred the unique bond he and his wife shared, and he worried she would not look at him in the same light ever again.

He could feel a lump welling inside his throat and he sat down on the porch with a thump, Kaoru's words echoing in his skull, " …I'm constantly being told what to do and what not to do by you all. By people who have never even been pregnant to say the least! I'm a prisoner in my own home…". He had to admit her words were true, he did watch her carefully and he would never know what it was like to carry a child.

He had no idea what a pregnant woman was capable of, but for some reason he felt she was more fragile now than in the past. The life inside her was so precious to him it almost hurt. Each time he gazed at the gentle swell of her rapidly growing belly he felt an intense need to protect and nurture what lay nestled inside there. It was almost a primal response, fierce and aggressive, "She is mine. The child in her is mine. Mine and mine alone." Those feelings alone were enough to send him spiraling into an amber fire deep inside his heart. His woman was no longer just his woman, she represented something far more to him. She was carrying a gift inside her that he never dared to dream of having through out his entire life, and he would die to protect that.

His mind suddenly cried out to him to go find her, bring her home, she had strayed to far from him. Kenshin fought the golden haze, reminding himself that it was his over-protectivness that drove Kaoru away from him in the first place, and to seek her out right now would only push her further from him. He rested himself against a porch beam, glaring hard into the yard of the dojo, willing himself to stay put for the time being.

**********

Kaoru sat in the back of the Akabeko, quietly tucked away in a booth from all the normal commotion of the restaurants other patrons. She nibbled on the food and sipped the tea Tae generously put before her, not really feeling hungry, but unable to deny the doe eyed woman's compassionate gesture.

"You aren't eating much, Kaoru," Tae noticed quietly.

Kaoru shot her menacing look, "I came here to get away from that Tae san," she replied hotly.

Tae swallowed at the glint in the woman's eyes, "I'm sorry Kaoru, I only meant that it may make you feel better if you had something in your stomach."

Kaoru sighed and put down her cup, "I'm sorry Tae. I shouldn't be so touchy." She knew Tae's intentions were only for the best and her friend did not like seeing her in this state.

Kaoru had come to the restaurant near tears, giving poor Tae and Tsubame quite the fright. She managed to tell the women the story about the confrontation she and Kenshin had the night before, causing both of them to look at each other in surprise. The idea of Kenshin raising his voice at his wife seemed preposterous, and neither of them could picture the mild mannered rurouni in a shouting match with a woman.

Seeing her friends dejected look, Tae smiled and patted the girls hand, "It'll be okay Kaoru. I'm sure if you just talk with him, he'll understand."

Kaoru shook her head, "I don't know Tae," remembering the cold tone of his voice, "He was actually angry…with me." Her lower lip trembled slightly, "He didn't even come to bed last night."

Tae gave her a sympathetic look, "People get angry with each other Kaoru, but it doesn't mean they love one another any less." The dark eyed woman stood, smoothing her dress and returned to her work, quietly directing Tsubame to get Kaoru some more tea.

Kaoru put her hands in her lap, left alone with her thoughts. She knew in her heart that Tae was right and it was foolish to think that she and Kenshin would never disagree. Yet as comforting as the thought was, it still didn't ease the pain she felt in heart now, nor did it offer any solutions to the current problem.

She wanted to go home and pretend it never happened, but that wouldn't fix anything, and it would only postpone another argument for the time being. She was afraid to talk with him though, imagining that if she now tried to address the issues at hand he would ignore her plight or shun her in some way.

She wanted Kenshin to realize she was not some helpless girl, incapable of making responsible decisions or completing simple, everyday tasks. If peasant women could work the fields in this state, she could surely clean the dojo, carry water and bring back groceries. What made her so different than them?

She was willing to give up Yahiko's training for the time being, though she worried the boys skills would become dull with out proper instruction. Kenshin was more than capable of sparring with him, but he was not trained in the Kamiya Kasshin style and would not know how to walk him through any of the techniques. The young samurai had trained so hard to get to where he was now, it seemed unfair to make his stop suddenly.

Kaoru sighed and finished the rest of her tea. It was getting late and she still had to pick up some things at the market before returning to the dojo. The idea of fresh fish for dinner really appealed to her for some reason, and she wanted to pick up some vegetables as well. She put some money on the table, smiling sheepishly when she caught Tae's disapproving look. "Put it on Sano's tab," she teased and the waitress rolled her eyes.

In her hurry to get the fish she suddenly wanted so badly, she failed to see the figure on the other side of the door. The impact nearly knocked her to the floor, but strong hands shot out, catching her before she fell. "Kaoru san!" Tae shouted in surprise, running over to her friend.

"Kaoru? Kamyia Kaoru?" a deep, yet youthful voice asked curiously.

Maybe I should have made this into two stories….nah….it wouldn't sound right if I did that…Kenshin and Kaoru arguing? I think it's possible…all people have disagreements with each other, but I didn't want to make the fight into a screaming yelling match…I don't see Kenshin behaving that way at all, so I hope it came off okay…as anyone can tell, I'm a battousai fan…though I don't really see him as a separate person from Kenshin. I think he's just the more passionate side of the same man…I could ramble on forever about this subject…anyway! Thanks again for reading and I hope you all stay tuned…