Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ As Time Goes By ❯ Snowstorm (Part 1 of 3) ( Chapter 7 )

*WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ADULT SITUATIONS AND LANGUAGE*

AS TIME GOES BY

Chapter Seven

The Ties That Bind

(I would like to thank Midori, Firuze and Benjamindover for their thoughts, comments and friendship...You guys are wonderful...Thanks...)

**This chapter takes place approximately five months after chapter 6. **

(What a long day.....) Mara leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes. (No...make that a long week....) It was the dead of winter...and uncommonly cold. She shivered as a thin stream of icy air whispered under the clinic door, filling the nearly abandoned building with an the half hissed moans and whispers of a blizzard that had been threatening for hours. Tired grey eyes peered listlessly out at the darkening sky, seeing within the dull, bloated snow clouds the promise of a freezing night and a case load of sick patients the next morning.

(I used to love this time of year...) For Mara, the seasons were no longer a benign transformation, but a dangerous passage that replaced one type of illness with another. The winter brought pneumonia and typhus, the spring heralded the onset of cholera and pertussis, summer simmered with dysentery and yellow fever and fall was always announced with an influx of typhoid and the deadly threat of smallpox.(...Now I break into a sweat at the first sign on snowfall...)

Her pale mouth twisted into a sardonic smirk...then suddenly brightened into a rare brilliant smile as she picked up a deep, melodic counter melody that ran against the wailing wind. (He's here...) Mara mindlessly ran her fingers through her curly hair, hoping that she didn't look too terrible after going without sleep for almost two days in a row...then realized what she was doing and blushed slightly as the clinic door opened and Sanosuke stepped inside. (Good grief...get a hold of yourself...)

"Hey babe! You bout done for the day?" Sano called out as he sauntered into Mara's office. "We've got to hustle our asses back to the dojo before all hell breaks loose." His dark brown eyes surveyed the doctor's cluttered desk, lingering first on a ridiculously high pile of unfinished paperwork...then fixing darkly on Mara's pale face. (Enough is enough....I'm taking you home...)

"So...how did your day go?" He walked over to the desk and leaned over her shoulder, noticing the fragrant smell of herbs that somehow always managed to linger in her curly hair. (I'll never figure out how she manages to smell so nice...it must be a woman thing...) He inhaled the delicate scent, then took a step back, fighting against the sudden impulse to run his fingers through the mass of curls.

"Pretty well considering we're in the middle of an influenza epidemic." Mara smiled wearily as she closed the still unfinished ledger. "Hopefully, the strains won't mutate and really make things interesting for me." She frowned and tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You know, I really have a hunch that this last batch has a recombinant RNA sequencing variance."

"Yeah...." Sano nodded. (I wish I knew what she was talking about...) "You've got to hate it when that happens." Unlike Megumi, Mara insisted on talking to him like he was a well educated man instead of a street thug. While this had certain advantages, there were more times than not that he found himself in very deep conversations about things that he barely had a grasp on. (She just assumes that I'm smart enough to keep up with her....) He rubbed the back of his head and listened carefully as Mara talked about the strange unseen things that she battled against....the bacterium she loathed, the viruses that took so many from this world, as well as the parasites that lived with the poor and destitute.

"How's that experiment going?" Sanosuke asked as he playfully tried to scatter Mara's paperwork. "You still hell bent on messing around with moldy bread?"

"Of course I am." Mara muttered, swatting at his large hands. "How else am I going to get a nice robust penicillin culture?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Sano grinned and snatched the patient ledger from the flustered woman. "Perhaps you could swipe a sample of Kaoru's miso soup?"

"I'm afraid it's a bit strong for what I have in mind." Mara laughed, jabbing Sano in the stomach with a sharp elbow. "Though I'm tempted to pour a bowl down your throat if you don't quit teasing me."

"Now, now...there's no need for such drastic measures." Sanosuke tossed the ledger back and gave his friend a saucy wink. "Besides, you love it when I give you a hard time." His full mouth settled into a soft smile as he watched Mara's pale cheeks erupt with color, surprised that her shy reaction to him was so damn appealing. He was half tempted to continue the verbal banter, just to see if he could make her blush again...then quickly reconsidered as he watched the woman gain control of her emotions, her vulnerability dissolving into the calm and dispassionate expression that she normally favored. (I'm pushing things with her again.....Better stop while I'm ahead....)

"Yahiko mentioned something about Kaoru fixing me a surprise tonight." Sano walked over to the coat rack and grabbed Mara's jacket. "I don't suppose you know what he might be talking about."

"I have no idea." Mara forced a placid expression. (Dammit! That was supposed to be a surprise...) Hoping to keep her irritation concealed, she quickly shoved several files into a satchel and looked around for the keys to the clinic. (That boy is one dead turkey...)

"Hey, you all right?" Sano asked quietly.

"Just a little tired." Mara sighed as the ex gangster helped her on with her jacket. "You know, if you're not careful you just might develop a reputation as a gentleman."

"Oh, I don't think we need to worry about that." Sano chuckled. "I'm just trying to get on your good side so I can swipe some more of your German poetry books." (Who would have thought that I'd get such a kick out of reading Goethe ?) As he slid the jacket over her thin shoulders, he couldn't help but notice that her collarbone was jutting out, easily felt under the very worn fabric of her tunic. (Dammit Mara, you've got to quit pushing yourself like this...) Sano closed his eyes and prayed for patience. (...or you're going to end up like Dr. Genzai....) A mental image of Mara sick and failing flashed through his mind, causing him to instinctively tighten his grip on her shoulders. (Gods...I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you...)

"Sano, what's wrong?" Mara asked, aware of the man's silent reaction. She uneasily fisted the fabric of her skirt and tried to quell the icy stab of panic that tore through her frame. (I've made him angry.....)

"It's...nothing, don't worry about it." He managed to mutter as he dropped his hands and walked towards the entrance of the clinic. ( She's a grown woman.....I have no right to tell her how to live her life....)

"Please don't be upset with me." Mara's voice was unusually tremulous. "I'm doing the best I can."

Sano turned and stared at her with a dumbfounded expression. " I'm not mad at you Mara." He took a hesitant step towards his friend, then froze when he caught a look akin to fear blossom in her grey eyes. (What in the hell is going on?) Sano held out his hands, relying more on instinct rather than common sense. "I'm just worried about you...okay?"

Mara nodded, her gaze locked on a loose floorboard. "As soon as things settle down I'll make it up to you." Her grip tightened on her skirt. "I promise."

"Just promise me that you'll take it easier." Sano said, carefully drawing her against him in a gentle embrace. (...And that you'll never look at me like I'm going to hurt you...) He closed his eyes and just held her for a moment, savoring the closeness, wondering what in the name of the Gods had happened to make her so frightened of displeasing a man. (By damn, if I find out that anyone has laid a finger on you in anger....) White hot fury bubbled up within him at the mere thought of Mara being abused. (I'll rip his balls off and feed them to him....) For several minutes he simply held her, finding that he too needed the reassurance that everything was all right....that the woman in his arms was no longer upset. (I'd rather die that put you in harm's way...)

(What did I ever do to deserve a friend like this ?) Mara relaxed against the tall man and allowed herself to savor the sensation of being held and protected. Sanosuke was a walking contradiction in terms, a comforting mixture of tenderness and uncommon strength....his gruff manners and street hardened demeanor hiding a compassionate sprit and a bright eager mind.(He has made this existence bearable....) She risked a quick glance up at her friend, seeing in his handsome face the unspoken worry and kindness that caused her stomach to clench and her heart to sing. ( How I wish things were different...) Mara drew in a shaky breath, forcing her mind to stop imagining the impossible. (..but they're not...I have no right to this man....no right at all...) Her face was a study in regret as she pulled away.

"We'd better get going before the blizzard hits."

"Yeah." Sano nodded reluctantly, seeing in Mara's bleak face an echo of his own unvoiced frustration. (Before we both do something or say something that we'll both regret...) He opened the clinic door and without a backwards glance walked out into the bitterly cold night.

Twenty Minutes Later

Sanosuke clenched his teeth as a furious blast of wind tore down the street, the icy teeth ripping at his exposed skin and taking his breath away. (Good thing we're almost home....) He felt Mara stumble behind him and tried to position his body so that he would take the full brunt of the wind. (She's three steps shy of falling asleep...) The storm had finally been unleashed, transforming the calm winter night into a distorted snow scape that had every living thing scrambling for shelter.

Mara groaned and hugged herself tightly in a feeble attempt to stay warm. Her eyes teared up as air born ice crystals scoured her face and hands, the painful sensation at odds with the surreal beauty of the blizzard. The sky was a grey churning mass of ice and snow, the wind a keening adversary that froze bones and muscles. She staggered forward, forcing her exhausted legs to take one unsteady step after another. (We'll be home soon....) Mara smiled slightly, the anticipation taking an edge off of her discomfort. (I hope that Sano will like his surprise...)

"Here we are." Sano grinned with relief as he pushed open the entrance to the courtyard. "Let's get you inside and warmed up." He grabbed Mara's hand and half dragged the shivering woman towards the brightly lit house. "If we're lucky, Kaoru saved us some dinner." (Gods, I hope so.....I'm starving.....) Sano's frowned as he slid open the door, then paused and peered into the empty room...his sharp ears making out the hint of light footfalls coming down the hallway. (Looks like the little hellcat is still up....)

"Surprise!" Kenji screamed, unable to keep quiet any longer. "Happy Birthday!" The six year old bounded over to the startled man and gave his leg an enthusiastic bear hug.

"What?" Sano looked down at the small child, then back up as Tsubame, Yahiko, Kenshin and Kaoru emerged from the hallway holding several brightly wrapped packages. "What...are you guys doing?"

"Celebrating your birthday." Mara whispered, her tired face alight. "We thought it was high time that you did it properly." She laughed at Sano's slack jawed expression and shrugged. "I hope you don't mind."

"You sneaky little woman." Sano reached over and tousled Mara's curly hair. "I'm going to get you back for this." He quickly helped her take off her ice coated jacket, still stunned that she had taken the time to help plan something like this for him.

"Guess what?" Kenji tugged at Sanosuke's pant legs. " Momma made you a treat!"

"Really?" Sano crouched down so that he was eye level with the boy. "What sort of treat?"

"Your favorite western meal." Kaoru proudly beamed. "Chicken and dumplings. I even added some personal touches to the recipe so that it will taste extra good!"

"No kidding?" Sano swallowed reflexively and remembered the last time that Kaoru's "personal touches" had given him a case of indigestion that had lasted for three days.

"Kaoru has worked very hard on this meal." Kenshin gave his friend a look that spoke volumes. "I'm sure that we will all appreciate the effort."

Mara nodded, determined to keep a positive mental attitude. "It's going to be delicious!" She caught Kaoru by the arm and bounded into the kitchen to get the food.

"Just what sort of personal touches are we talking about?" Sano hissed in Yahiko's ear.

"The usual." The teenager sighed in resignation. "Ya know, it's a good thing one of us actually snagged a woman that knows how to cook."

"Mara can cook!" Sano sputtered indignantly. "She just cooks stuff like cough syrup and mustard poultices."

"Sounds delicious." Yahiko snorted.

"That's enough of that." Kenshin whispered, eager to keep his beloved wife's feelings from being hurt. "I don't care what the food tastes like...just eat it and smile." His eyes flashed amber for a second, prompting the other men to nod sheepishly. (Honestly, it's like having two more children to manage...) "Besides, it's the thought that counts." Kenshin's face paled as an acrid aroma wafted from the kitchen, the scorched scent causing his eyes to water.

(I'll remember that when I'm puking my guts out....) Sano sat down and nervously awaited the presentation of the food. (Still, he does have a point....she did her best....) His stomach lurched unsteadily as more smells began to assault his senses.

"Dinner is served!" Kaoru proudly set the "chicken and dumplings" on the table.

(Dear Gods above and below....) Sano peered into the bowl and tried not to gag. Instead of flaky bread dumplings swimming in rich chicken stew, a semi-transparent grey mass that was flecked with what he hoped were vegetables sat ready to be sampled. He gingerly poked at what he assumed was a piece of chicken, his eyes widening in horror.

"Is...is this carp?"

"Why yes." Kaoru nodded in between bites. "I thought that it would taste better than boring old chicken." She smiled, savoring the delightful taste. "What do you think of the tofu dumplings?"

"Interesting texture." Mara croaked as a slimy mouthful slid down her throat.

"Look Daddy !" Kenji poked his dinner with his chopsticks, delighted that his mother had come up with another exciting meal."It jiggles!" He grinned over at his father (who was hellbent on smiling despite an attack of heartburn) "Mommy makes such funny food!"

The meal from hell mercilessly continued, each dish taking the diners to a new level of gastrointestinal discomfort. There was the greenish black baklava (made from sea weed) a spicy rendition of glazed carrots (turnips served in wasabi), and a blackened mass that looked suspiciously like another ill fated carp (Kaoru's interpretation of Yankee pot roast).

(What a success!) Kaoru's eyes glistened with happiness as she watched her guests wolf down the meal without a word of complaint, their faces set in wide cheery grins. (I'm going to have to do this again....) She smiled and generously offered Sanosuke another helping of carp and dumplings.

"No thanks." Sano shook his head frantically, praying that he could keep the first helping down for a few more minutes. "I'm stuffed."

"You better not be." Yahiko grinned wickedly. "There's still plenty of baklava left."

(I'd rather eat my shoe...) Sanosuke plastered a smile on his face. "I suppose I could try a bite or two." (What the hell....I'm going to be dead in a few hours from food poisoning...)

"I think I'm going to brew us all some tea." Tsubame whispered, her pretty face flushing from barely suppressed nausea .

"Please make it extra strong." Kenshin called out, wincing as his stomach tried to twist itself into a pretzel.

Mara set her chopsticks down and tried not to burp. (I wonder what the daily recommended allowance for carbon is....) She glanced down at the charred fish and sighed. (Whatever it is...I exceeded it...)

"When do we get to open presents?" Kenji said with barely contained anticipation.

"Right now!" Kaoru smiled indulgently at her son. "And I bet if you ask nicely, Sanosuke will let you help him."

Sano grinned at the six year old. "You think you can handle it?"

"You bet!" Kenji nodded, his eyes dancing merrily as he ran and picked out a parcel.

The next hour was one of the happiest in Sanosuke's life. With Kenji's enthusiastic assistance the presents were soon unwrapped and admired. Kenshin and Kaoru had managed to save enough for a hardbound edition of Moby Dick, Yahiko had splurged on a jug of fine grade sake. Tsubame's delicate tastes were evident in the rice paper print she had selected for Sano. Tae's gift (a voucher for a week's worth of free meals) had everyone laughing, Dr. Genzai's subtle hint (matching bath towels with "HIS" and "HERS" embroidered on them) caused Mara to curse like an mal-tempered seaman and Sanosuke to turn three shades of red.

"Look!" Kenji held up the towel marked "HERS". "Dr. Genzai must think Sano needs a bath."

"And someone to help bathe him!" Yahiko guffawed, enjoying the rare sight of Sagara Sanosuke blushing like a schoolboy. "So, are you planning on trying them out tonight?" Sano snatched the offending towel and shoved it back into the box.

"Somebody better get his mind out of the sewer before he loses his teeth." Mara growled threateningly. (As soon as Dr. Genzai is feeling better....I'm going to kill him!) She rolled her eyes when the teenager made a rather sassy comment about her scrubbing Sano's back and promptly poured the contents of her tea cup into the young man's lap.

"Serves you right you little pervert!" Sano sassed as he tied a triple knot around the bath towel box. (It's bad enough dealing with Dr. Genzai and his little schemes....) He inwardly groaned remembering the day the wily old man had tried stuffing he and Mara headfirst into a closet in the hopes that romance would bloom amid the brooms. (The last thing we need is a horny teenager with an over active imagination...)

"Here's the last one!" Kenji said as he tottered over with a large box."Guess who it's from?"

(I don't need to....) Sanosuke carefully unwrapped the gift, seeing in the perfect angles and precise brown paper folds the handiwork of his meticulous friend. His breath caught in the back of his throat as he lifted up the top box and pushed aside the nearly transparent tissue paper.

(Oh please...let him like it....) Mara gnawed nervously at her lower lip, praying that a three hour consultation with Edward Thornton's tailor had been time well spent. Her heart lurched when Sanosuke's face darkened and his cheery smile evaporated. (He doesn't like the color....) She swallowed nervously and tried to come up with a decent apology.

"You shouldn't have done this." Sano's voice was gruff with suppressed emotion. He choked back a sob as he ran his calloused hands over what had to be the most beautiful suit he had ever seen. It was the color of a raven's wing, the perfectly dyed wool blend luxuriously soft under his finger tips. "This is far too fine for a man like me." Sanosuke held up the jacket, his brown eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He had seen clothes like this in Europe, worn by rich and powerful men. (The type of men she's used to....) Turning to Mara, he couldn't help but notice her threadbare linen tunic...the plainness of her clothing contrasting painfully with the perfectly tailored garment he held in his hands. (The type of men she deserves...)

"I promised you..." Mara whispered quietly. "..that I'd replace your jacket I ruined..." Her face drained of color when Sano put the jacket back in the box. "If you don't like it I can...."

"It's beautiful." Sano managed, too overcome to do much more than smile. "Thank you."

"Hey! Look at this." Yahiko leaned over and pointed to a small embroidered symbol on the lapel.

Tsubame peered carefully at the ornately styled kanji for "wicked" then laughed. "Oh, Mara you really should have left well enough alone." She traced the outline with her tiny finger, marveling at the fine silk thread and the quality of the workmanship. "Sanosuke isn't that way anymore."

"No...it's perfect!" Sano said firmly, desperate to reassure his friend that he loved and appreciated her gift. "It's the damn nicest jacket I've ever seen." (How could you even think I wouldn't be thrilled to get something like this ?) He sighed inwardly, wondering for the second time that evening at Mara's unusual behavior.

(I wonder who did this to her...) Kenshin's heart ached with sympathy as he felt the icy doubt in Mara's chi dissolve into warm relief. (...She has been subjected to gross mistreatment....) Compassion surged up within him as he sent out a tendril of mental thought, his mind brushing up against the tall woman with the stormy grey eyes. (..and far too little kindness...) Beneath a lifetime's worth of discipline, he could sense a yawning tear in her spirit, a terrible wound that still was raw and angry. (She's so frightened....so confused...) Kenshin's eyes widened with surprise when Sano stood and embraced the woman. (...so in love...)

Other emotions became apparent to his mind as he rode the mental surges that surrounded the couple. From Sanosuke he felt the unmistakable undertones of sexual desire and mental attraction, the instinctive need to hold and protect...a lingering trace of guilt and a hint of despair. Mara's spirit was no less complex in it's intensity...once dormant yearnings warred with self restraint, her spirit radiating budding hope as well as a bitter dose of resignation that left the ex assassin confused and sad. In her he could feel traces of pain, unvoiced adoration, deep compassion and the unnatural aura that only she possessed...an aura that bent the invisible time stream around her like a boulder in a river. (She's apart from us somehow....) Kenshin mentally pulled back as he felt a faint response from Mara's subconscious, an echo of understanding that left him week kneed with sudden comprehension. (...and is aware of the fact...)

"Kenshin?" Kaoru took her husband by the hand. "Love...what's wrong?" She followed the line of his eyes and sighed. (So you finally understand....) Her heart sank as she watched Mara's pale face brighten up with a rare burst of color, knowing that the reason for the display was the tall man holding her friend. (...She's getting too close...) Kaoru looked away when Sanosuke leaned over and whispered something in Mara's ear, his deep voice too warm and kind for her liking. (..They both are....)

"I..I don't know what to say." Sano said softly. "No one has ever..." He swallowed against the tightness in his throat. "..I've never had..."

"I know." Mara's reply was a mere whisper against his chest. (That's why I did it....) Sanosuke closed his eyes, struggling with emotions he had thought long dead from disuse. (I shouldn't feel this way about her...) His pulse leaped when Mara's hair brushed across his mouth, the thoughtless caress igniting primal desires deep within him. (But I can't help it...she's so pretty....so kind...) Bending his head, he placed a feather light kiss on the woman's forehead, praying that for once, she wouldn't pull away. (..so utterly unattainable)

"Eww!" Yahiko scrunched up his face. "Knock it off you two!" The teenager laughed when the two adults pulled away from each other, their faces turning identical shades of red. (This is great....I finally get to give old rooster head hell...) He swaggered over to the pair, unaware that he was skating on very thin ice.

"So...do you have another present that you are going to give Sano?" Yahiko winked at Mara. "One that requires a bit of privacy?"

"Don't even go there." Sano snapped, his dark eyes flashing dangerously. "...unless you want me to kick your ass into next week." He glared at the younger man, unwilling to engage in any banter that brought Mara's character into question.

"He was just teasing." Mara said in a low calming voice. She took Sanosuke by the hand and pulled him gently towards the door, praying that Yahiko would wisely refrain from any more brilliant comments. (I'm too tired to deal with this tonight...)

Yahiko tried to shrug casually. "You really need to lighten up ya know."

"That's enough." Kenshin's voice cut through the tense atmosphere. "Sanosuke, why don't you see Mara to her room? She's had a very long day and needs her rest." He smiled pleasantly, and turned to Yahiko. "You can help me wash the dishes."

"But..."

"Now." Kenshin's smile had an edge to it. (Before you require medical attention...)

A Few Minutes Later

"I've had it with him!" Sanosuke's growled as he stomped through the snow. "Who in the hell does he think he is talking about you that way?"

"An eighteen year old boy." Mara smiled softly. "Besides, he was right. I do have something I want to give you." She lifted her snow soaked skirt and gingerly made her way up the ice encrusted steps to the dojo. "I've been saving it for a long time."

( Sweet merciful sake...what am I supposed to do....) Sano's mouth went dry. (I'm sure she doesn't mean....) He nearly tripped on the steps when Mara opened the door to her room and quietly invited him inside. (..does she..?)

"I should warn you ahead of time that I'm not very good at this sort of thing." Mara's rosy cheeks were visible in the dimly lit room. "So don't be too disappointed."

"I won't be." Sano nervously rubbed the back of his head and prayed that his breath didn't stink. (I can't believe that this is happening....) His eyes were as round as rice cakes when Mara sat down on her futon indicated that he sit down beside her. (...but it is...) "Are you sure you really want to do this?" He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. "Cause if you're not..." Sanosuke cleared his throat and tried to keep his voice steady. "...I don't mind waiting."

"Why wait?" Mara wondered as Sanosuke gingerly sat down. "You only have a birthday once a year." She shyly smiled, and reached for an unseen object that she'd hidden under her makeshift pillow. "Now...close your eyes."

"Um...okay." Sano gulped.

"I hope you like this." Mara hesitated, then moved closer.

"Don't worry." He tried to sound confident. "I'm sure that I...." Sano nearly jumped when he felt something silky and soft settle in his palm, the whispery sensation a far cry from what he was expecting. Opening one eye, he looked down at his hand..and gasped. "Oh...Mara.."

Sano's voice caught as he held up the washed and repaired prayer scarf that he'd given up as lost. "Where...did you find this?"

"One of the passengers gave it to me." Mara ran her finger along a nearly invisible seam. "He thought that you had gone down with the ship." Her eyes darkened with barely restrained emotion. "He wasn't the only one. I watched you...when you went back to try and save that horrible old woman. When the boiler exploded, I thought that....that...you had been killed." She caught her trembling lower lip with her teeth and tried to get back in control.

"Me too." Sano looked down at the prayer scarf, the minuscule stitches and carefully patched corners blurring up as tears marred his vision. "Mara...you don't know...how much this means to me." He brought the scarf up to his face, inhaling the sweetness of the herb scented soap Mara had used to wash away the soot and sea water. "I was so sure it had been burned along with everything else."

"What is it?" Mara examined the plain white cloth, suddenly curious.

"It's from Tibet." Sano's deep voice was barely audible. "I stayed with some monks one winter and told em a bunch of stories about my life here in Japan. They were really interested in Kenshin's struggle to try and make things right." He tenderly folded up the whisper thin fabric. "So they made this for him...they wove their hearts and prayers into it....then made me promise I'd give it to Kenshin. It nearly did me in when that damn boat sank and I thought I'd lost it."

"You're such a good friend, such a caring man." Mara hesitantly covered his warm hand with her much cooler one. "I hope that one day I can repay you for your kindness to me."

Sanosuke swallowed hard against the lump forming in his throat. "How can you say that? "You've given me everything...this scarf...that suit..." His voice cracked. "...your friendship...." It was all he could do not to break down in front of her. (I don't understand....I'm nothing...never have been...never will be...) Bending his head, Sano stared stormily at the rough wooden floor. (And yet she treats me like a gentleman....a person who matters....)

"I...I'd better get going." He managed to pull his hand out from under Mara's. "You're tired...and need to get some sleep."

(Oh Sanosuke....what on Earth happened to you ?) Mara thought sadly as she watched her friend stand and walk towards the door, his whispered good night hoarse with unshed tears. It hurt to see him like this...his warmth and humor replaced with bitter self loathing. (I wish I could help you see what a good man you are....) Her heart lurched painfully when he turned, and regarded her for a moment, his dark eyes smoldering in the dimly lit light.

"Thank you...for everything." His hand tightened on the wooden door. "You're a damn fine woman Mara...and..I...just wanted you to know..." Sano struggled for a moment, unsure of how to verbalize the feelings within. "...that...you mean the world to me." He watched as Mara reacted to his awkward confession, seeing in the bashful blush and stammered response an unspoken affirmation that she also cared for him...a realization that made him incredibly happy...and unbelievably sad. ( What I wouldn't give for a chance to be with her....to hold her...just once...to show her how much she means to me...) Sanosuke forced himself to slide the bedroom door shut, thankful for the thin barrier it created between himself and the woman he desired. (But it will never happen....) Closing his eyes in resignation he slid down against the solid wooden framework. ( I lost one woman because I was a selfish bastard who couldn't control himself...I'll be damned if I do it again...)

Seven Years Earlier

"You sure you're gonna be all right?" Sano crouched down by Kenshin's futon, his dark eyes radiating concern. "I can stay here...ya know...just in case something happens.." The unvoiced thought rang out in the silent room. (In case he shows up...) It had been a blow to find out that Kenshin's brother in law had managed to escape from the police and was now a dangerous fugitive...his whereabouts still unknown. (That white haired son of a bitch better stay the hell away from Kenshin and my little miss....) Sanosuke snarled softly, still amazed that a human being could be so unspeakably cruel and twisted. ( ..cause if I ever get my hands on him, he's a dead man...)

"We'll be fine." Kenshin's voice was dull and listless. "Enishi is no longer a threat to myself, or Miss Kaoru." The red head tried to give a reassuring smile...and failed utterly.

(He already did enough damage to last a thousand lifetimes....) The ex street fighter gazed sadly down at his battered friend, seeing in Kenshin's emaciated frame and wild haunted eyes the unhealed agony of a shattered heart and a nearly broken mind. (Gods....it just isn't fair!...Why should one man go through so much....and have so little to show for his suffering ?) Sano reached out and pulled up the blanket, tucking the worn fabric under the smaller man's chin. "I'm sorry Kenshin...that this had to happen..." Sano's voice was rough with regret. "...that I wasn't there when you needed me."

He had turned his back on his friends...unable to bear the sounds of Kenshin's ragged screams...the sight of Kaoru's lifeless blue eyes. (I couldn't stand to see my family fall apart...so I left....) He jumped when Kenshin reached over and clasped his wrist, surprised that the weakened man had so strong a grip.

"Don't say such things." Kenshin wearily shook his head. "You thought that I was gone...that she..." He closed his eyes against the painful memories. "...had been killed.." The faint hiss of wood sliding against wood brought him up out of that dark pit. (But we were wrong...thank the Gods...)

"Kenshin?" Kaoru whispered as she knelt by his side. "What's wrong? Are you still in pain?" Her face was anxious. "You are...I can see it in your eyes. I'll go get Megumi and see if there is anything she can do for you."

"Trust me babe...this is one thing you don't want the fox trying to fix." Sano muttered,

slightly exasperated at the younger girl's naivete. (Cause believe me....Megumi would be more than happy to give it her best shot.) He snorted and rose to his feet. "The best thing you can do for Kenshin is stay right by him tonight and smile." A bittersweet smirk slid across his face as he sild the door shut. ( There, I've said it...the rest is up to them....)

Kaoru's cheeks flushed a fetching shade of pink as she realized what Sanosuke has just implied. (I want to help Kenshin...to ease his pain...) Her eyes welled up with frustrated tears. (I just don't know how....) She clasped her hands tightly in her lap, lamenting her utter lack of understanding when it came to the ways of men and women. (...or even if he would welcome such an attempt after what he's been through...) Yahiko had finally broken down and told her of what had happened, his broken recitation of Yukishiro's revenge leaving her in tears and afraid that once again...her beloved wanderer would leave...never to return. (I couldn't bear to lose you again...)

Kenshin gasped when Kaoru threw her arms around his neck and began sobbing, her tears mingling with his own. Hesitantly he returned the embrace...still too grief stricken to really believe that the woman he loved more than his own life was whole and unharmed, that she had been spared...that he still had a chance to find redemption and peace...hopefully by her side. (I should leave...tell you to find a better man...one unstained by such a bloody past...) Kenshin pulled the weeping girl closer, pressing petal soft kisses against her damp eyelids. (But I can't...May the Gods forgive me...I can't bear to be without you....) With a groan he lifted up Kaoru's face, capturing her mouth with a fiercely restrained kiss. "Stay with me." He pulled back slightly, giving this innocent the time to refuse....praying that she wouldn't. "I need to hold you...to know that you're safe.." (That I have a reason to keep on living....)

Kaoru trembled, her response born from a bewildering mixture of instinctive desire and her fear of the unknown. (Can I do this...am I ready ?) She hesitated only for a moment...then silently nodded, brushing her lips across his in a tender and unmistakable invitation. "Then hold me Kenshin..." Her eyes fluttered shut when he kissed her again, his desire and need matching her own unspoken urges. "Love me."

Kenshin paused, his deep violet eyes burning. "I already do."

The Next Morning (1880)

(Gods...I'm starving...) Sano's stomach grumbled, echoing the sentiment. (I wonder what's for breakfast?) He easily hopped over the rusted out excuse for a gate and sauntered towards the dojo, anticipating a belly full of food, some good conversation..and if he was really lucky...the chance to flirt with a certain cinnamon eyed doctor. (I've had enough of being down in the dumps...It's high time for everyone to quit moping around and get back to the business of living...)

Whistling cheerfully, Sano made his way up the steps. "Hey guys! I'm..." The

unmistakable sound of clacking geta brought him up short. (Speaking of a certain doctor....) He turned back towards the gate, his dark eyes brightening. "Hey Fox!"

Megumi smiled thinly at the tall man, annoyed that the normally late riser had managed to beat her to the house. (Wonderful...now I have to deal with a rooster head and a racoon girl....) She tossed back her hair and primly made her way up the steps, trying to ignore the warm tone to Sanosuke's voice as he bid her good morning, focusing instead on his clumsy attempt at being a gentleman by opening the door for her. ( He should just give up on this...and accept what and who he is...)

"So...how's your day going?" Despite Megumi's chilly response, Sano tried to keep his tone bright.

"Considering that the sun rose less than an hour ago....I'd say that my day has just begun." Megumi said in the most condescending voice she could manage. "Really Sanosuke, you should go back to bed...I'm sure that a man like you isn't used to being up before noon."

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sano's growled. "Look sweetheart, I was just trying to be nice!" He glared at the perfectly composed woman for a moment, trying to come up with an equally scathing retort...wishing that he didn't have to. (..I wish she'd just talk to me...like I was a friend....instead of a damn nuisance she can't wait to get rid of...) "You should try it sometime."

"I might just do that." Megumi's voice was as smooth as hand dyed silk. "As soon as I find someone worth being nice to." She arched her delicately shaped eyebrows and calmly regarded the irate ex-gangster. "Unlike some people I know, I'm not very keen on wasting my time."

"Oh...I wouldn't say that." Sanosuke's full mouth curled into a sneer. "You're more than willing to throw yourself at Kenshin." He shoved his hands into his pockets and glared at the slender physician. "Now...if that's not a waste of time, I don't know what one is."

"How dare you!" Megumi hissed, her face paling with anger.

"No." Sano shook his head angrily. "How dare you." He jerked his thumb towards his injured friend's bedroom. "Why can't you accept the fact that Kaoru and Kenshin love each other...that they need each other in ways that we can't even imagine!" His chest heaved with emotion. "You should have seen em last night...holding each other like their lives depended on it." Impulsively he reached out, cupping her beautiful face with his battle scarred hand. "Let them be Meg...."

"I...can't." Megumi's voice faltered. "I love him. I have from the moment I saw him." Her painted lip trembled in a rare show of real emotion. "Why should I have to give up my only chance at happiness?"

"How can you say that?" Sano whispered, his hand tightening ever so lightly against her perfect skin. "You're a beautiful woman...there are plenty of men who would do anything for a chance with you." He swallowed hard, finding it difficult to continue. "I...I'd...do...anything.."

"You can't be serious." Megumi gasped, her eyes wide with sudden understanding. He gazed up at the fighter, seeing in his face the naked admiration that she wished for from another. "It...we...could never...it's impossible!"

"Why?" Sano persisted as he took a step towards her. "You know I care for you...that I'd do anything to make you happy." He closed his eyes when she shook her head and tried to pull away, amazed that such a simple action could be so painful to endure. "At least let me try."

"It would be to no avail." Megumi pushed at Sanosuke's chest, desperate to end such an uncomfortable conversation. "I have goals...and dreams...a lifetime of mistakes to make up for." She stepped back and tried to calm her unsteady breathing. "You would only get in the way."

Sanosuke jerked his hand back to his side. "I see." He stood with his fists clenched, the pain in his heart at odds with the anger that Megumi's casual cruelty had ignited. "Well then...I guess I'd better find somewhere else to be." A faint rustle in one of the bedrooms caught his attention. (Dammit...I'll bet good money we woke everyone up with our pointless arguing...) "I suggest you also make yourself scarce." His tone was unbelievably cold. "The last thing Kenshin needs to deal with is a selfish, jealous woman."

Megumi opened her mouth, a scathing reply on her lips. (Why you stupid....) Her retort died in her throat though when Kaoru stumbled out of the hallway, clad in nothing more than a hastily tied gi....a man's gi to be precise, the deep magenta color heartbreakingly familiar.

"What in the name of the Greater Gods are you two doing?" Kaoru muttered as she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Nothing...I was just about to leave." Sano shot Megumi a glare that indicated that she better follow his example. "So...how's Kenshin feeling this morning?" He couldn't help but grin when his artless question caused the kendo instructor to turn the same shade as her borrowed robe.

"Umm...He's fine." Kaoru nervously dug her toes into the floor. "A little sleepy perhaps...but ...I...oh!" Impossibly, her blush deepened. "Never mind."

"Good morning." Kenshin said softly, his fiery red hair in wild disarray. He paused for a moment, his eyes first fixing on Kaoru's embarrassed face...then to Megumi's disapproving scowl....and finally over to a wide eyed Sanosuke. (What a way to start the day....) Kenshin tried to smooth back his bangs...then sighed. ( I should have just stayed in bed...) His gaze returned to Kaoru...focusing on her full, upturned mouth.....still swollen from numerous kisses. (We...both should have...). "Would you two care for some tea?"

"No..no thank you." Megumi blinked furiously, trying to keep her tattered emotions from completely unraveling. "I just wanted to drop off some spare bandages and another container of salve." Her fingers shook as she tried to open her medical satchel. "The wounds on his arm and back are still slightly infected." Megumi handed the linen bundle to Kaoru. "I expect you to clean then twice a day and let me know the instant he develops a fever." The younger woman nodded...unsure how to respond to her clipped orders. "I expect to see of you at the clinic bright and early tomorrow morning. There are certain medical matters that must be discussed." She nodded slightly at Kenshin, then turned away before the former assassin could see her traitorous tears.

"C'mon Megumi." Sano whispered, his anger forgotten. "Lemme walk you to the clinic."

His eyes were soft with compassion. (I tried to warn you....but you were too damn stubborn to listen...) He awkwardly shoved his hands into his pockets, wishing that he had Kenshin's gentle speech or a semblance of grace to deal with such a difficult situation. "You've probably got a passel of patient's waiting for ya."

"You're right." Megumi managed in a half steady voice. "I had best be going." She held up her hand when Sano tried to come closer. "Alone." Summoning what dignity she had left, Megumi walked out the door and into the brilliant morning light.

Late That Evening (1880)

The sky was a brilliant mosaic of stars, each tiny flickering light illuminating the dark night canopy above. Sano craned his neck back and sighed, envious of the utter calmness the unreachable sky offered. (What I wouldn't give to be up there...looking down at this mess from a safe distance...) He carefully opened the gate to the clinic, his eyes fixed on the wavering shadows that indicated someone was inside the semi-darkened building. Taking care not to make a sound, Sanosuke walked up the cobblestone pathway, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. (Megumi's not going to be happy to see me...) He paused and tried to think of a way he could check on the woman without getting his head bitten off in the process.(Hell, she won't give me the time of day unless I'm bleeding) He glanced around, then seeing that no one was watching, bent down and slammed his still healing wrist into a jagged cobblestone. He snarled as he felt half healed scar tissue split open, staining his worn linen bandages with hot, sticky blood.(But now...I have a reason for her to let me in...)

"Knock, Knock, Knock!" Megumi raised her aching head and glared at the door. (This had better be good...) Pressing an unsteady hand against her throbbing temple, she stood up and made her way to the door, wincing as the ill oiled hinges creaked rustily.

"What are you doing here?"

"I...umm...." Sano took a deep breath and held up his battered hand.

"Gods! You are such an idiot!" Megumi nearly slammed the door right in his face. "How many times have I told you not to re-injure that hand?"

Sanosuke shrugged and allowed himself to be roughly pulled inside. "What can I say?" He tried to look repentant...then gave up and slid into a chair. "Shit happens."

"You have no idea." Megumi snapped as he tried to thread a needle, her hands unusually shaky.

"You'd be surprised." Sano leaned closer to the woman...then sniffed. "You're drunk." He sniffed again, his eyes widening. "Really drunk."

"I am not!" Megumi blinked, trying to clear her blurry vision. "Any fool knows that a drink or two is restorative in nature."

"Yeah...but a bottle will get you plastered." Sano rolled his eyes when Megumi made a sound somewhere between a giggle and a sob. (I have a feeling this is going to be a long, long night...)

A Few Hours Later (1880)

"I said drink it." Sano handed Megumi another cup of tea. "Trust me babe....come morning, you're gonna need it." He watched as the pale woman slowly drank the fragrant blend. "Ya know...I didn't think that you were the type to drink your problems away." Despite the chiding words, his voice was kind. "Though I can't say I blame you"

Megumi closed her eyes and sighed. "You must think I'm a fool." She leaned back against the chair and willed her headache to disappear, for the pain in her heart and mind to evaporate...leaving her empty once again.

Sano dipped a rag in some cool well water. "Why?" He wrung out the cloth and gently placed it on Megumi's clammy forehead. "Because you're disappointed and sad?" His eyes drifted over the doctor's sculpted features, lingering on her tear swollen lashes. "That doesn't make you a fool Meg...it makes you a person." He let his hand linger for a moment, amazed at how soft and silky her skin felt....then quickly pulled away, knowing that she would normally never tolerate such familiarity.

"You were right about what you said this morning." Megumi whispered, surprised at the loss she felt when Sanosuke pulled away from her. "You said that I was selfish...and jealous." A small bitter sob escaped her painted lips. "No wonder Kenshin didn't want me..." She covered her face with her hands and began to weep. "No man would...not after the things I've done...the mistakes I've made...." Her thin frame shook miserably. "I should resign myself to the fact that I'll always be alone...and unloved."

"C'mon sweetheart, don't....don't cry." Sano awkwardly embraced her sobbing woman, his heart aching. "There's nothing wrong with you...not a damn thing." He pulled Megumi closer, threading his hands through her gossamer hair. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." His heart skipped a beat when he felt Megumi's arms settle on his back, the contact both tender and arousing. "As far as no man wanting you...or loving you...." Sanosuke hesitated, his already battered pride warring against his desire to try and undo the pain he'd caused by his thoughtless remarks earlier that morning.

"Yes?" Megumi prompted, eager to hear the words...no matter who they came from.

"I...I already do." His deep voice was a mere rumble. Sano tried to pull away, expecting at worse another scathing dismissal....at best a stony silence that bespoke her contempt for such an admission. Instead, he felt her soft body stiffen for a moment....then suddenly relax against him...the curves and planes of her breasts and stomach apparent even under her kimono.

"I know." Megumi sighed and closed her eyes again, wishing that the confession had come from another man...a better man. (Still...for tonight....it's better than nothing....) She turned her face until it was pressed up against the tall man's neck, his rapid pulse throbbing under the darkly tanned skin. Whether it was the alcohol coursing through her body, pity or perhaps the simple desire for basic human contact she tilted her mouth up...and brushed his jaw with a feather light kiss. "I always have."

Sano's hands tightened around Megumi when the woman repeated the action, her mouth becoming bolder...her invitation unmistakable as she pressed herself more firmly against his chest. (What in the hell is she up to?) Doubt suddenly blossomed in his mind, prompting him to quickly pull away from this most unexpected of embraces, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Don't do this to me Megumi." Sano looked at the woman carefully, trying to discern her motives...finding that the sight of her beautiful face nearly undid him. "Not unless you mean it." He reached up and brushed away a loose strand of hair from her face, the tenderness in his action at odds with the fierce look in his deep brown eyes.

(I...I can't believe it !) Sano's heart leaped when Megumi brought her face up towards him..her crimson lips parting expectantly. (She's going to...) He groaned softly when he felt her mouth cover his...the sensation sweeter than anything he could have ever imagined. (Oh Gods...I wanted this...wanted her for so long...) His hands began to move lower, till they cupped the woman's firm bottom, pulling her tightly against him aching torso. The kiss between them deepened, becoming almost rough as he entered her mouth, tasting an intoxicating mixture of sake and salty tears. It was the alcohol on her tongue that brought him out of his reverie, reminding him sharply that he woman in his arms had been drinking heavily only a few hours before.

"Meg...we shouldn't." He tried to pull away while he still could, the action causing his body to scream in feral protest. "You...we've been drinking." Sanosuke shuddered when he felt a slender hand slip into the folds of his gi and brush up against his taunt nipple. "Gods!" His groin tightened painfully. "I...I..don't think...that." Coherent thought fled when she kissed him again, her hot, moist mouth obliterating the last shreds of his restraint.

"Sagara Sanosuke." Megumi gasped as he lifted her up into his arms and walked back towards an examining table. "Now is not the time to think." Her spice colored eyes smoldered as she watched the man impatiently fling off his gi, the white scar tissue that ran along his left side creating an erotic counterpoint to his tanned, muscled chest and abdomen. Something akin to desire began dancing through her body...pooling at the juncture between her thighs. "Just to feel." She reached down, cupping the man's erection through his pants, enjoying the harsh moan of pleasure that followed.

"Who am I..." Sanosuke murmured as he slid off Megumi's smock. "..to argue with a lady?"

Early The Next Day (1880)

The sun was hesitant that morning....its weak rays tentatively sliding though the cobweb stained windows. A filigree of white light trickled into the darkened room....lingering on the airborne dust motes with an airy caress that eventually encompassed two sleeping figures, their naked bodies covered with a worn woollen blanket. With the mindless persistence that only a sunbeam possesses, the room became gradually brighter..the weary occupants reluctantly brought up out of their shared slumber.

The man awoke first, his deep brown eyes blinking in confusion...then softening when they fell on the still slumbering woman spooned up beside him. With tenderness that few would think such a man capable of...he bent down, kissing the woman reverently, his mouth lingering on hers...then softly pulling away before the contact roused her from the sleep he knew she needed. He sat up and stretched, then carefully brought the blanket up around the black haired physician.

(That's it love....rest...) Sano smiled quietly, amused that he'd allowed himself to think the endearment. (You had quite a night...) He glanced down at his neck...and the mottled mark that Megumi's mouth had left. (...We both did...) His smile brightened as he rose, remembering the way she had responded to him...and he to her. (It was better than I ever could have imagined...) Fighting against the urge to laugh from sheer joy, he quickly pulled on his discarded pants and tiptoed into the small room that served as a kitchen, determined to start the day off right with a steaming cup of tea...and his woman to share it with.

"Clink!" Megumi's eyes snapped open. (Where am I...?) She glanced up at the now bright sunlight and instantly regretted it, covering her aching head with her hands. (What happened...?) Groaning...she sat up, too stiff to realize that she was naked and lying on the floor of Dr. Genzai's office. The slight clinking of ceramic dishes made her wince, the cheerful sound reverberating painfully between her ears. (Who in the hell is making that racket...?) Megumi's eyes narrowed slightly as the faint hint of a man humming filtered into the office, his low voice far too familiar for her liking.

(Dear Gods..) She looked down at gasped, frantically bringing the blanket up to cover her exposed breasts. (What have I done?) Megumi flinched as the humming got louder, her sensitive ears stinging. (And with whom?) She scrunched her pretty features up and tried to remember. (Let's see...I was working on the patient logs...there was a knock on the door...) Her face drained of color. (And I let HIM in...) She shakily struggled to her feet, the hangover severe enough to upset her equilibrium and cause her stomach to clench tightly with the promise of nausea . (Of all the stupid, reckless, impulsive things to do....)

Megumi's mouth tightened as she began to dress. (How dare he...take advantage of me in such a state...?) She angrily tied her obi, determined to ignore the other memories that were seeping into her addled mind. (I don't care what I told him...or how I might have been acting...there's simply no excuse for what happened...) She leaned against a wall, her breathing as uneven as her emotions. (He should have known...that I could never...) Her eyes closed..fighting against the recollection of their bodies pressed tightly together...the whispered endearments...the fullness she felt when he entered her body...her husky cry when she shattered in his arms, her arms and legs wrapped around his warm hard frame as he followed her over the edge. (That we could never...) Megumi pressed a trembling hand to her mouth. (Oh, Gods....what am I going to do?)

"Dammit!" Sano's voice made her jump. "You're...awake." He took a hesitant step forward, two steaming cups of tea in hand. "I wanted to surprise you."

Megumi turned to face him, her face unreadable. "Well congratulations. You certainly did." She took a step towards the man, her nails digging into her palms.

"I did?" Sanosuke's face broke into a boyish grin. He glanced out the window, trying to decide if a good morning kiss was in order. (I've got to do this the right way...) His eyes fixed on a solitary nightingale perched in a low lying tree branch. (...show her how much I...)

"SMACK!" The tea cups fell to the floor...the perfectly sculpted porcelain shattering into unrecognizable shards.

Sano put a hand to his stinging face...his eyes wide with confusion. "You mind telling me what that was for?" He winced, and pulled his hand back...seeing that her nails had raked across his cheekbone, breaking the skin. (Why are you acting this way ?) He looked over at the woman who had just struck him so harshly...seeing in her glittering eyes not the gentleness he had been expecting, but bald anger. "Meg?"

"How could you?" Megumi's voice shook with fury. "How could you do this to me?" She took a threatening step towards him, refusing to notice the blood dripping along the side of his jaw. "You stupid bastard !...Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"I..." Sanosuke opened his mouth..then snapped it shut, unsure how to respond to her furious questions. He looked down at a puddle of rapidly cooling tea...his distorted reflection refracting against the tea cup fragments. (I don't understand! Why is she angry at me?) A tremor of anger lanced down his spine when Megumi shouted at him again, her voice becoming shrill. (I didn't do anything that she didn't ask for....)

"Get out." Megumi reached down and snatched his jacket off the floor. "Now !" She hurled the garment at him.

"Now wait just a damn minute!" Sano caught his jacket with one hand. "I want to know why you're acting this way!"

"Gods!" Megumi threw her hands up in the air. "You are such a moron!" She stood there for a moment...stunned that she had allowed such a moron to have his way with her...then stormed out of the room, taking the time to stomp on Sano's bare foot as she passed by.

"Ow!" Sano bent down and rubbed his throbbing toe. "Dammit Fox, don't you dare pull this shit on me!"

"Why shouldn't I?" Megumi's voice could be heard in the other room. Sanosuke followed the sound of her tirade into the tiny kitchen, his confusion mounting when he realized that the angry doctor was making what looked like a cup of smudge colored tea. "A man like you deserves no less....especially now!" She hastily downed the murky beverage, gagging at the bitter taste. (Thanks the Gods that I know how to make this....) Megumi pressed a hand against her the flat plane of her lower abdomen. (... it will keep an unfortunate mistake from becoming unbearable...)

"What type of man would that be Megumi?" Sano leaned casually against the wall, the relaxed posture of his body at odds with the volcanic anger in his eyes.

Megumi set the empty cup down on the table, refusing to look up at him. "Please....just go."

"Not until we work things out." His voice was defiant.

"There isn't anything to work out Sanosuke." Megumi rubbed her tired eyes. "There never was...and there certainly never will be." She glanced over to her desk...fixing on a letter she'd received only two days before from her long lost brother in Aizu. (I'm going to be leaving soon...starting over....) With a sigh, she finally lifted her head, determined to end things now...while she still had the resolve. ( And you won't be coming with me....)

"Why?" Sano asked quietly, his mind comprehending what his heart never would. "Am I really that bad for you?" He silently closed the distance between them, desperate to find a way around the woman's disdain and pride. "I know that we're different and all..but that's no reason..."

"Yes, it is." Megumi smoothed her wrinkled smock, wishing that it didn't look like it had spend the evening discarded in a heap on the floor. "I don't expect you to understand the nuances of a healthy relationship between a man and woman...but what happened...it...it isn't enough to base a foundation on."

"Then why did you let me..." Sano closed his eyes against the burning behind his eyelids. "If it didn't mean anything.." (If I didn't mean anything....) "Gods, Meg....why didn't you say something?"

A dozen different reasons came to mind....each more incriminating than the next. (I wanted to feel safe...and desired...to loose myself for a moment...) Megumi's face burned with shame as she recalled just how thoroughly she had lost herself lying in his strong embrace. (I needed to forget that I'm a doctor first and a woman second...) Jealousy began to creep into her thoughts as she recalled Kenshin's gi wrapped wantonly around Kaoru's girlish body. (That the man I love would choose another...) Her hands fisted tightly as Sano repeated his question, his mindless persistence making her angry. (And leave me with the scraps....)

"Would it have mattered if I did?" She flipped her hair carelessly, her insinuation hanging between them.

"Of course it would have!" Sano shouted, his cheeks flushing with indignation.

"I highly doubt that." Megumi snapped, refusing to accept what she knew to be true. "You've never been the type of man to take no for an answer." She tried to give him a haughty smile...then yelped when he caught her by the wrist and jerked her against his chest.

"You take that back." His voice was dreadfully quiet.

"Let go of me!" Megumi tried to back away, suddenly frightened.

Sanosuke tightened his grip ever so slightly on her delicate wrist bone. "Take it back!"

"No." She lifted her chin defiantly. "It's the truth."

He felt like he was falling into a nightmare...one of his own making. "No!" Sano whispered hoarsely...too horrified at Megumi's accusation to breathe. "I'd never do something like that to you!"

"You did." Megumi jerked her hand away from the white faced man. "You waited until you knew I was alone...and sad...and vulnerable." Her voice rose as tears splattered down her cheeks. "...you used me...took me ..."

Sanosuke shook his head. "No...that's not how it happened." He swallowed hard against the rising tide of grief and panic. "You kissed me." His hand went up to his bleeding cheek, remembering how soft her lips had been.

"I was drunk!" Megumi shouted. "I didn't mean it...any of it!" She pushed Sanosuke as hard as she could manage. "Do you really think a sober woman would allow you to touch her?" Her eyes glittered with anger. "Though I suppose you never have been very particular about such things."

"Don't you dare place all the blame on me for what happened."Sano swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice steady. "I tried to stop...told you we shouldn't."

"The hell you did." Megumi retorted, forgetting in her righteous anger that ladies didn't use such language. "You wanted only one thing from me Sagara Sanosuke....and you managed to trick me into giving it to you!"

Sanosuke roared and slammed his fist into the nearby wall, the impact pulverizing the plaster facade. "I didn't take anything that wasn't freely given!"

Megumi stumbled back, her eyes going wide when Sano repeated the action, this time shattering a vase. She had never seen him this angry and was suddenly terrified that in his wrath, he would harm her.

"Don't..." She stammered, holding her hands up in a protective gesture.

"Don't what?" Sano shouted as he overturned the table they'd made love on the night before. "Don't be angry?" Snarling ferally, he advanced on Megumi. "Sorry sweetheart, but I don't take kindly to being fucked over by a manipulative little bitch!" With a lunge he pinned her against the wall, too angry to notice the look of terror in Megumi's teary eyes....or the sound of someone knocking on door.

(How utterly typical...) Kaoru snorted and brushed back a stray lock of hair. She waited for a moment, then knocked again, her irritation growing by the second. (I could still be back at home...in bed...with Kenshin....) A rosy blush tinted her cheeks. (If I hurry...I still can be...) She turned to leave...then paused as muffled cry filtered through the door, followed by the unmistakable sounds of something breaking. (What on Earth is going on in there?) Kaoru pressed her ear against the wooden door..listening carefully. (Oh no...there's someone in there with her!) Her face flushed red again...this time from anger. (Well, however it is...he's about to have his ass kicked!) With a mighty cry, Kaoru kicked open the door and charged inside.

"Sanosuke!" Kaoru slid to a stop, her hands flying to her mouth. "What on earth happened to the clinic?" She tried to move...to think...to come up with a reason why a man she loved as a brother has half naked and bleeding. (Oh no...it can't be!...) Kaoru's knees buckled when Megumi stumbled into her arms, sobbing hysterically. ( He wouldn't do such a thing....) Trying to calm the taller woman, she cast Sano a beseeching look, begging him with her wide blue eyes to rationally explain what she had stumbled into. (Tell me this is a mistake...that you didn't touch her....) Megumi collapsed, her keening wails ripping into the younger girl like a knife.

"I...I didn't ...." Sano's mouth was drier than dust. "It's not what you think!" He stumbled towards the two women, then froze when Megumi screamed, his stomach lurching.

"I think...that you should leave." Kaoru glanced out the open door, blanching when she realized that Megumi's screams were drawing a crowd of curious onlookers. "Please...just go..." She hugged the taller woman tightly, muffling her cries against her shoulder, praying that she didn't burst into tears herself. "Now!"

"Dammit Kaoru...I didn't do anything!" Sano screamed hoarsely, devastated that the younger woman was so willing to assume the worse. "You've got to believe me !" He groaned when Kaoru stepped between himself and Megumi, her little face set the sternest of scowls. (You don't....I can see it in your eyes....)

"I'm sorry." Kaoru whispered brokenly. "I don't know what to think right now." The crowd outside came closer, their voices carrying the distinct hint of anger. She managed somehow to disentangle herself from Megumi and ran back to the heavy wooden door, slamming it shut. (What am I supposed to do?)

"Knock! Knock! Knock!" A man's deep voice called out, demanding entrance.

"Sano, you've got to get out of here!" Kaoru begged. "Please!" She glanced over at Megumi...damning the woman's noisy cries. (If I find out that he is telling the truth....I swear, I'll never forgive you...) "You know what will happen if those men find you in here."

"Let em come." Sano snarled, his eyes welling up. "I've done nothing wrong." He gazed sadly at both women, seeing in Kaoru's bleak expression and Megumi's angry silence the truth of the matter...that no matter what had actually happened, his guilt was already assumed.

"Go!" Kaoru urged. "While you still have time!" She cursed when Sano refused, knowing that the stubborn man would rather be arrested than run.

"Sanosuke, please....go." Megumi sobbed, too upset to apologize, too embarrassed to admit what had really happened. "We'll...talk about this later."

"I'm not leaving you alone." Sano shook his head. (I don't want those bastards outside to think you were dishonored...)

"GET OUT!" Kaoru screamed. (Before this really gets out of hand...)

"Knock! Knock! Knock!" Sanosuke stumbled towards the back door, the tears in his eyes making his vision swim. (Oh Gods....) He glanced back and groaned...the sight of the overturned clinic table, Megumi's anguished sobs and the look of horror on Kaoru's face forever imprinting themselves in his mind. (What have I done...)

"Knock! Knock! Knock!" He ran out into the glaring morning light...away from the sounds of angry voices and weeping women...and back into blessed wakefulness.......

Early the Next Morning (1887)

"Knock! Knock! Knock!" Sanosuke bolted upright, his chest heaving. He ran a shaking hand over his moist eyes, trying to gain control over a nightmare that had plagued his dreams for over half a decade. (I tried to explain what happened...that I'd rather die than hurt my Meg....) A half choked sob escaped through his tightly clenched teeth. ( But she didn't believe me....not deep down....) He had seen doubt blossoming in Kaoru's eyes when he'd embraced Mara...the younger woman's unspoken warning painfully clear. (She thinks that I'm not good enough for her friend....) Sano wiped his eyes with the blanket covering his body...then gasped realizing who it belonged to. (She's right...)

Sometime in the night, Mara had found him asleep and shivering against her tightly closed door and had wrapped him in her warmest blanket, a gesture that deeply touched his wounded heart. (I'll never know what I did to deserve such kindness from such a woman...) Sano sprang to his feet as footsteps approached, unwilling to give anyone the impression he had been sleeping so close to Mara's bedroom. He walked quickly towards the entrance, the worried tone in Kenshin's voice banishing the last vestiges of his dream back down within his heart.

"What's up?" Sano said quietly, hoping his voice sounded steady.

"There's been an accident." The red head sighed, his eyes grim. "A train full of passengers derailed just south of the East Tokyo Terminal."

"Please!" A young police officer looked around the dojo. "I must collect Dr. Mogensen and get back as quickly as possible!" His uniform was covered in blood and his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"What are your casualty estimates?" Mara's low voice caused the officer to jump. She staggered out of her bedroom, trying to plait her wild curls into the semblance of a braid.

"I...I don't know." The officer stammered, obviously shaken. "At least twenty or thirty dead...and there are still too many passengers trapped under the cars to get a realistic tally of the injured." His black eyes shimmered. "I'm afraid that there will a terrible need for amputations."

Mara nodded, already dreading the heart rending screams. "I'll need to stop by the clinic and get the bone saws." She glanced out into the early morning gloom and tried not to shiver. "How many doctors are already at the scene?"

"Three." The officer said softly. "Including yourself."

"Three?" Mara shook her head in disbelief. "You can't be serious!" She shrugged on her icy jacket and tried not to shout. "How in the name of Hell am I supposed to treat that many patients?" She stormed into her room, swearing violently when she stumbled over a stack of books.

"Are you sure this foreigner is a competent physician?" The police officer blanched as a string of obscenities rang out. "She seems...well...rather...unorthodox."

"Watch it pal." Sanosuke snapped. "That "foreigner" is the best damn doctor you'll ever lay your beady little eyes on."

He walked into Mara's bedroom, careful not to trip over the medical texts that were scattered on the floor. "Are you going to be able to stay awake?" Sano asked quietly.

"Do I have a choice?" Mara said wryly. She glanced back at the somber faced man, her observant eyes fixing on Sano's red rimmed eyes. "Are you going to be all right?"

Sanosuke carefully folded up the blanket Mara had covered him with, placing it at the foot of her empty bed. "Sure...why wouldn't I be?" His attempt at being tough crumbled when Mara walked over and threw her arms around him, enveloping him in a fierce hug. He sagged against the willowy woman, wishing that he could tell her...afraid that if he did, she'd never want to touch him again. ( And that would kill me...)

"Dr. Mogensen?" The young (and foolish) policeman stuck his head into the woman's bedroom. "I don't suppose you could hurry things along?"

"Did anyone ever teach you to knock?" Sano growled, stepping away from the red faced doctor. He glared at the smaller man until the officer made some incoherent apology and backed out of the bedroom. "I think that I'm gonna come with you on this one." Sano tousled the woman's hair. "Or would you rather spend some one on one time with that retarded cop?

"He wouldn't last ten minutes with me and you know it." The tall woman stomped out of her bedroom, her duffle bag overflowing with bandages and medical supplies. "I'm going to need at least three men to help me hold down the patients." She glared at the apprehensive officer. "Let me guess? Nobody bothered to round up some extra ether?"

"Is that important?" The young officer asked, then winced when the woman began cursing in a foreign language, her pretty features becoming positively violent.

"Very." Kenshin sighed. "Unless you would prefer that Dr. Mogensen remove limbs without the benefit of anesthesia."

"Hey! What's going on?" Yahiko skidded to a stop, still in the process of dressing.

"There's been a serious accident. Kenshin and Sano are going to come with me to help out." Mara tried to cram some more bandages into her already overburdened duffle bag . "Would you please look after Kaoru and Kenji until we return?"

"No way!" The eighteen year old protested. "I'm coming with you."

"Absolutely not!" Mara snapped. "There is no way in hell that I am exposing a child to field amputations."

"Who are you calling a child?" Yahiko's voice rose an octave.

"Ease up kid." Sano clamped his hand on the irate teenager's shoulder. "She didn't mean it that way." He glanced over at Kenshin...then back to the young man, seeing in his defiant and hurt expression an echo of the frustration he once felt. (He doesn't want to be left behind...) "I'm warning you Yahiko, the first time I watched a man loose his arm I nearly pissed all over myself. You come with us and I guarantee that you won't sleep decently for weeks." His expression was unusually serious. "Still, you're a grown man and capable of making up your own mind."

"Sanosuke is right." Kenshin held up his hand, silencing Mara's protests. He gazed fondly at Yahiko, seeing in the boy's eagerness an echo of his own long lost naivete. (Still...this passage is one that a man must go through....) "We would greatly appreciate your help."

(How utterly typical....I have a disaster area to manage...and the men decide it's time for some manly bonding!) She opened her mouth...then shut it, resigning herself to the fact, unwilling to hurt Yahiko's feelings more than she already had. (Still, if he throws up....I'm making Sanosuke clean it up...) With that thought in mind she walked out of the dojo.

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Coming up in the next chapter....

"No..." Mara whispered sadly. "Dr Williams did her best to keep them away from you." She took another step forward, then froze as he pressed the gun barrel against her throat. "We all are trying to help you Terrence. You are important to us....we won't give up on you." Her throat tightened as she watched the trigger finger twitch erratically. "I won't give up on you."

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I would like to thank the following people for taking the time to read my story and leave a review for chapter 6...NightRain, Imbrium, Me, Shadowfax, Nemo, Midori, Lady Sadi and the Little Elf, Fujifunmum, Le-Chan, Carter Tachikawa, EK, Oryo, Marstanuki, Mad Melma, Eillwony, Firuze, Vesa and Nomad of the Plains (Love you Dan!)

I appreciate your kindness and comments and will (if you leave an email) respond personally to any and all questions you might have regarding this...and my other upcoming stories...