Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Kenshin Parody, Book 2 ❯ Chapter 9

"What party?" Aoshi asked.

"Look'ere. You fine, and I need some lovin'. Put two and two together, Aoshi-sama," Kelly said.

"You want me?"

"You goddamn right I do! It's about muthafuckin' time you caught on, too! I was getting' tired of waitin' fo' you ol' dense ass."

Aoshi sat square on Kelly's stomach.

"Ooof. Oh man, I can just imagine where all that weight is comin' from, too," Kelly said, her wandering hands still wandering in the vicinity of Aoshi's left nipple.

"You listen to me, little girl. I am not the kind of man that you want to piss off."

"You mean you're not a raving psychopath that oozes sexuality? Aw man, and here I thought I was making progress. Oh well, I can fix that," Kelly said, as her hands wandered lower.

Just before Kelly could get to the big top, Aoshi's door suddenly opened and closed. Saito leaned against the frame, panting slightly. He turned and took in the sight before him.

"Sh-shi-shiiiiit," he said.

"Saito-san. This girl is crazy. She came in here and tried to give me a…what did you call it?"

"Hand-job."

"You two certainly are a pair," Saito said.

"You think so too, huh? Well, maybe you can knock some sense into Aoshi-sama here, cuz he doesn't think that we belong together forever."

"No, I meant that you and Jenny are a pair."

"A pair of what?"

"Oh, I don't know. But hopeless crazy bigheaded and hentai comes to mind."

"Ay! I'm not bigheaded!" Kelly objected. Aoshi stood up, leaving Kelly's vision mammoth-cock free. "Awwww."

"I apologize for this, Shinomori. If I had known that this was going to happen, I wouldn't have let you stay."

"…" said Aoshi.

"You, Kelly, get out and go to your room," Saito said, pointing.

"I really don't think you want me to open that door, Saito."

"Hmph, the hell I don't. Now get out!"

"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you!" Kelly said, as she stood and opened the door. Jenny tumbled in, head first, surprisingly enough. Kelly closed the door.

"Now, normally I wouldn't suggest this," Jenny said, "But go ahead and keep the party goin'," she said, and tackled Saito. Kelly tackled Aoshi and the four of them wrestled with each other. Saito and Aoshi were falling all over the place, trying to get away from the sex-starved battle queens. As soon as one got up, Jenny or Kelly would trip him and send him into the arms of the appropriate fondler. This went on for a good ten minutes before they started to get tired.

"Whew, molesting is hard work, shit. I don't know about you, Jenny, but I think I need some kind of reward after all this."

"I hear that," she said, and made one last lunge at Saito, who was not paying attention. Jenny straddled him and tore the remainders of his shirt the fuck off, while Kelly did the same to Aoshi.

"Ohohoohohohohoo!" the girls chorused, as they gradually declothed their men. Now stripped to just undies, Jenny and Kelly stood back form their handy work. Both men were completely unconscious.

"I'm gonna wait till they wake up before I have my way them," Jenny said.

"What the hell. What's this `they' bullshit? You can have Saito, but hell and DAMN if you're gonna molest my Aoshi."

"Aww, I was thinkin' we could share!"

"No. I'm having Aoshi all to myself tonight. And every night after that too. You can kiss ass."

"You're so mean! Whatever happened to everything I have is yours and everything you have is mine?"

"I don't recall agreeing to that. And besides, you know if I let have Aoshi, you gotta let me have Saito."

Jenny thought about that for a sec. "Yousa point is well seen."

Aoshi groaned a little, a sign that he was coming (hehehehehehe) back to life. "Ooops, sorry Jenny, but I've got work to do," Kelly said, and pounced on poor Aoshi. She leaned over and gave him a big wet kiss, complete with tongue. Aoshi's eyes snapped open. He saw that Kelly was ravaging his mouth, and hit bit down. Hard.

"HO-WY WIVING FUCK!! AGHHHHHHHH! MY TONGUE, YOU BATHTARD, YOU BIT MY TONGUE!!"

"I told you I was the wrong kind of man to piss off," Aoshi said, spitting out the very tip of Kelly's abused tongue. And oh my God, there was a smile on his face.

Saito and Jenny looked on, dumbfounded. Jenny looked at Saito, then back to Kelly, then at Saito again.

"Don't even think about it. You'll lose more than your tongue if you pull that shit with me."

"Awww," Jenny said, her fun spoiled.

Saito sighed. "I suppose I'll have to call a doctor or something. But hopefully you'll lose the rest of that tongue. That way I'll only have to worry about one loudmouth."

Kelly writhed in the floor in total pain, "'ALLP!! I CUNT FWEEL MY MWOUTH!"

"Jenny, get off me, I have to get the doctor," said Saito, trying to get up.

"Tsk, you think just because Kelly was retarded enough to ram her nasty tongue down Aoshi's throat that I'm gonna leave Saito-Airbase? Huh, and I thought we were soul mates," Jenny said disgustedly.

In a moment of anger, Saito flipped Jenny over his shoulder and marched out the door with her, "Kelly help! He's gonna try it again with me! I'm scared!! Nooooooooooooo!! Saito, put me doooown!! Please don't poke me! Wait! Don't take me into Jiya's room!! AAAAAAAAHHH!"

"Ooooo," said a voice that could only belong to Jiya, "Come back for seconds?" Immediately followed by Jenny screeching at the top of her lungs.

Aoshi looked down at Kelly, who was beginning to turn purple in the face, "At least you learned a lesson here."

Saito came back in a few minutes later, dusting his hands off, the shrill sounds of Jenny being molested echoing through the air, "Ok, doctor's on the way. I apologize again for this Shinomori, I thought that for once these mindless idiots would behave."

"It's no trouble at all," replied Aoshi, trying his best to button his ripped clothing, "Tokio-san told me that you're having your own problems with the other girl."

"She told you about that? How embarrassing," sighed Saito, "I don't know what's gotten into them all of a sudden. They used to be, I can't believe I'm saying this but, semi-well behaved."

Kelly got up, the very picture of pathetic, "Hwow cwome you nevar bwit Jwenny's tung?"

Saito snorted, "The aho never tried that with me. If she did, I'd skin her alive. Much worse than losing an inch of tongue I think," he turned towards Aoshi, "Yet, I think you overreacted. These are just children, and you don't exactly have a wife or anything to worry about."

"So you think I was too rough with her?" Aoshi said. The smell of loser filled the room for no reason.

Saito nodded, lighting a cigarette.

Suddenly the door burst open, and Jenny ran in dressed scantily, "Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!" She had a cigarette hanging off her whore-red painted lips, fake eyelashes, a garter belt, high heel shoes, a low skirt with a feather back, and left nothing to the imagination. She looked up at Saito, who was looking rather shocked, "Vhat are vous lookin' at? Do vous like, eh?" She winked.

"Jenny? What in the name of decency are you up to now?" cried Saito. He ran forward with a sheet, trying to cover the lunatic up.

Jenny hopped away and grabbed a chair, which she stepped up on, showing more leg than a giraffe, "Im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!!!" she sang, doing kicks.

"O my gods," Saito shook his head, in disbelief.

Jenny suddenly stopped kicking, and then sat on the chair, in a rather disgusting pose, "I'm `sinking vous need more conzideration? Vell, let me tell vous about mine talents." She fanned herself with a large fan, giggling like a tramp.

"Jwenny! Gwet down!' yelled Kelly, throwing things at the slut, "You fink Saito's gwoing to fwall for that?"

"Oui Oui!" Jenny said, throwing the chair aside and stepping up to Saito slowly, "Now vhere is mine announzer?" She dramatically looked at the door, hand over eyes,

Jiya ran into the room, shirt gone, body painted with white, "Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen! Guten Abend, bon soir, good evening! Wie geht's? Comment ca va? Do you feel good? (yeah, I bet you do) Ich bin euer Conferencire; je suis votre compere... I am your host!"

Jenny hung on Jiya's arm, like he was her pimp or something, "Ahhhh, I see you're interested in the very beautiful, very naughty Jenny," Jiya said, slapping her ass, "Well let me tell you, gentlemen, she's quite the catch and let's just say her talents stretch even further than these long legs of hers."

Jenny giggled appropriately, but not before walking up to Saito and blowing him a kiss.

"I think she likes you," winked Host Jiya, "The first thing I have to say about Jenny! She has a tendency to domineer her men, but believe me; I haven't got a single complaint yet!" Jenny cracked a large whip, taking a single button from Saito's shirt.