Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Kenshin Parody, Book 2 ❯ Chapter 15

8hrs later…

Saito and Aoshi lay peacefully asleep; Aoshi curled up in a giant comforter. Saito was taking up the whole bed, spread eagle and snoring loud as fuck!

Jenny and Kelly lay on the bedroom floor, totally wiped out.

"Whew," Jenny breathed, hand on her forehead, who would have thought a 35 year old guy like Saito could be so much trouble? I thought for sure he was going to swallow that Lego. Good thing we caught him in time."

"I know what you mean. I stopped Aoshi from having his way with the dryer. Twice," Kelly said, "Boy he sure went to town on that baby." Kelly glanced at Aoshi, who was now sucking his thumb, "Aww, he's like a baby that likes to be psycho or something. How cute."

Jenny frowned, "Look at Saito, all sprawled out like a bum. Why the hell isn't he being cute? Ay! Saito! Let's see more cute, less hobo! Some nudity would help the process along a bit."

"Shhh, what the hell are you doing?" Kelly smacked Jenny's ass, "It took us forever to get them down from the roof and calm them. Let the wild bastards have a rest, will ya?"

Jenny raised an eyebrow, "Hey, Kell, `ju just grab my ass?"

"Shaddup Jenny."

"Ahh, my head is throbbing," Saito suddenly sat up, little pieces of the jezebel cereal stuck on one side of his face, "What the hell happened?"

Jenny was on him with the quickness, "Shhh shh, go to sleep little baby sexy guy. Shhh." She stroked his hair and groin, while grabbing some life giving ass, "Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep sexy Saito. Lala lalallaaa laaalalaaaaa." Saito's eyes slowly closed. "Kelly, I got my Saito-chan to fall asleep! I am SIMPLY THE BE-EST! BETTER THAN ALL TH REST!"

Saito's eyes snapped open again, "Will you be quiet already! And take your hand off my damn ass! This is the last time I'm gonna tell you!"

"But Saitooo!" Jenny whined, jumping on him again, "You told me I could finish what I started in the car if I was good." She pouted, "And I've been really super good lately, even though I want to be so bad." She purred at him, batting her eyelashes.

Saito rolled his eyes, "Aho, I was just saying that to get you to behave."

"What?" Jenny started to beat him with a rock, aiming for the neck region, "Quit-WHAM-being-BOW-a-DOINK-prude! Now unzip those pants and let's go off to NEVAH NEVAH LAND!" She managed to unbutton his slacks, but he tossed her across the room, where she landed head first in a garbage can.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Aoshi woke up, crying loudly.

"Oh, way to go Saito," yelled Kelly, throwing her hands up in defeat, "You woke my baby!" She went over to Aoshi, trying to calm his cries. "Hush now little one, and have some breast, compliments of me," she said, undoing her shirt.

Aoshi stopped crying. "You put that in my mouth, and a bit of tongue won't be the only thing you'll be missing."

Kelly backed slowly away.

Jenny got to her feet, struggling to get the can from her large head, "Ok, boys, since you wasted the entire day acting like Tarzan, we get to pick what we'll be doing tonight." She looked over at Saito, her tongue hanging out as she viewed the hunk of splendor before her, "I'd like to ravish you like a Popsicle. You just have no idea."

"That's not fair that you two get to pick what we'll be doing," said Aoshi, grabbing his shirt off the ceiling fan, "You fed us that drugged food."

Jenny looked at him like he just done shot her Saito, "It was NOT drugged! It's not our fault that you Japanese men eat nothing but grass. Can't even handle a little damn sugar. Pretty pathetic."

"Watch what you say, little girl," Saito glared, grabbing her arm.

"Aghghghghghhhg." Jenny drooled, latching onto his waist and holding on for dear life.

"Anyways," Kelly said, smacking Jenny's ass again, "Later on we're gonna play a friendly game of strip poker. We already got the table and cards set up."

"Hm. I am not going to get involved in these little games," said Saito, randomly lighting a `grit.

"Chicken!" cried Jenny, flapping her arms.

"Pansy ass!" Kelly taunted, sticking her half a tongue out.

"Sanosuke!" said Aoshi.

The room grew terribly silent.

"What…did you call me?" Saito's eyes narrowed at Aoshi, who was visibly shaking in his huggies, "Fine then. I'll play. But I want to raise the stakes. Whoever loses has to make love to one of these fools. You agree, Shinomori?"

Aoshi nodded slowly, trying to ignore the grin on Kelly's face.

"Whoa, dems the luckiest fools on the block," Jenny sulked, kicking the ground. "At least we get to watch them strip. I can't wait to see Saito's six-pack and 12 incher again. Maybe he'll let me cop a few feels. You know, get him ready for those lucky bitchazz fools."

Kelly nudged her. "He means we are the fools, and I'll have you know that I intend to make Aoshi lose like a bitch. That should be no problem though, considering he IS Aoshi. Losing is nothing new to him. His pretty ass is soooo gonna be mine!" She looked at Jenny strangely, "Damn, is he really that big? Wow. Who'd've thunk it?"

But she wasn't paying any attention. "S-Saito?" Jenny looked up at him, her eyes twinkling magically, "If you lose, which one would you choose? I-I'm just curious. I mean…you know. Keep in mind that I can blow and suck like a Hoover 5000, I have a bag full of bondage and sex toys that I'm just itching to use, and I'm totally cute."

He grimaced, but regained his composure. "Well, since I don't think I could approach Kelly without killing her, I'd have to choose…you."

Suddenly, and for reasons that were evidently known, Jenny collapsed on the ground, muttering gibberish like nobody's business.

Saito looked down at the sad and very pathetic girl on the floor. "Wow. If I knew I had that kind of affect on woman years ago…"

"You'd be swimming in major ass," finished Aoshi.