Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Lost and Found ❯ The body is tortured only by the demon of the spirit ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters belongs to Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shonen Jump, Sony, and other associated companies. This fic is not intended to make profit of any kind.
First of all, I'm not a native speaker. If you find me lacking in the literary elegance or grammatical area, I'm sorry. I'd be glad to hear helping hints, though. Critiques without pointing solutions as well as flames (critiques and flames are two different things, just in case you didn't know it) will serve to fuel my stove. Here, in Argentina, we are in winter and in addition, under a shortage of gas. And therefore, they will be greatly appreciated. *grins*

N/A: I'd greatly appreciate that if you want to review, but had to do it just in one place, ad you read the complete version including the lemon, reviewed in ff net. Of course, the ideal would be that those who review, did it in both places, but, if you have to choose…

Chapter 3: Kokoro no oni ga mi wo semeru

The body is tortured only by the demon of the spirit.

Somewhere along the day, uneasiness and awkwardness had turned into companionable understanding. The words spoken and the facts hinted had allowed a rare insight into each other's being, and both realized they had more things in common than they had dared to believe before.

Slowly but surely, their bodies became warm. And after they had replenished their reserves with food and water, they laid back down amid the furs, hoping to find a measure of peace that could only come with rest. Though there was no longer a real need to lie in each other's arms anymore, they still found themselves together, their limbs entangled. No, there was no true reason for them to lie this way. And yet, neither Enishi nor Megumi seemed really inclined to acknowledge this and let go of each other.

In Megumi's case, this was especially true. Despite the uneasy beginnings, her short, yet insightful glimpses into this anguished soul had dissolved the knots of fear and anxiety lingering inside of her own spirit. Somehow, Megumi understood how lost and empty he felt; and while she laid there beside him, she quietly contemplated her discoveries, trying to put together all the bits and pieces of his complex personality that he had allowed her to see.

It was a strange thing to think about; how one person could become connected by the threads of pain and loneliness. She had always assumed that her journey would be a lonesome one. It was surprising, indeed, to find a similar pilgrim struggling along the same isolated path, to realize that for the first time in a very long time, she was no longer alone, and someone could understand her burden.

A shiver coursed through her body, and she snuggled closer to him, savoring the contact. It had been such a long time since she had found such comfort, the barriers of past fears and deep loss still lingering inside. And as she drew even closer, she couldn't help but wonder, whether this enigmatic man could be feeling the same way, that he too, had found a measure of comfort in the contact.

Somehow, the strangeness of finally recovering some measure of delight at human closeness through his company did not go unnoticed by her. It was almost ironic, considering that just six years before, she had considered him as a dreaded enemy.

Yet, unbelievably, he, of all people, was one of the few able to get an insight and actually understand her. Understand, and not judge, not pity, not loathe nor patronize. Paradoxically, only this same man's nemesis, the same that had saved her, was the other human being capable of the same feat.

His inference over her days working for Takeda had been a hard slap over her own self righteous position towards him. It had been, as well, an eye-opener as to how much he had grown up since the days he had put Ken-san under his ruthless retaliation. Of course, he could not comprehend all she went through, but even if it was not a complete understanding, it was enough.

A comforting feeling swept over her when his hand began, almost absentmindedly, to stroke her arms, wrapped around his waist. It was just a light touch, but his obvious awkwardness filled her with tenderness. It felt so different when compared to her memories of being defiled and used in the past that she responded almost instinctively, burrowing her face closer against his nape, seeking the comfort that his presence had brought to her so unexpectedly.

"I don't want to go back."

At first, she thought she had imagined the sound of his voice, so soft had he spoken. But then, he repeated the sentence. Megumi knew also that he was fully awake, so she could not attribute his words to a random mutterings in his sleep. She was intrigued to say the least, so she asked, "Why do you say this?"

Enishi didn't answer immediately; he just turned around and he looked at her fully in the face. His eyes, oh his eyes. It was the first time she saw this otherwise powerful, arrogant man so naked, so vulnerable. Stormy seas full of endless sadness, there was an unfathomable pain and despair hidden inside them that choked her. She knew that look; she had faced it in the mirror everyday since she learned she would never be able to look in the eyes of her family again with a clear conscience. She simply could not stand it. The little lost boy he had been, the pained grown man he was now, showing her through his gaze, that like her, he was still suffering.

"Because, when we get back, everything will be again as it was before." he whispered, closing his eyes and sighing.

And then, like a thunderbolt, realization hit her. He simply did not want to be alone anymore, but he knew, nevertheless, that life and circumstances would eventually separate them, and they would have to bend to fate.

"Hardly. After what has been said here, nothing will be the same ever again." She tried to reassure him, and herself at the same time, hearing her own voice reflecting what her mind had discovered not so long ago. However, his eyes spoke of the jaded skepticism of someone tired of waiting for an answer to his pleas.

She was far too familiar with such dark thoughts, for she had, too, been alone and lost in despair, with everyone turning their backs on her for too long to not recognize the telltale signs of surrender in his eyes. She had friends, at least, even when they lived far away and had their own lives that did not included her. He had no one besides his dying father, and after his demise, he'd be alone as she once was. So she did what should be done: she tendered him a bridge.

"You know, it's not a secret that you are a prick sometimes, and once in a while you really deserve a good, old fashioned slap. But I took a fancy for a prick like you before, so you could say I'm kind of used to dealing with such idiocy. I might as well do another exception, and add you in my book. What do you say to that, Enishi-kun, mmn?"

During that fleeting moment, wonderment, and an infinite gratefulness laced with an endearing embarrassment seemed to pour out of his confused gaze. And not without some surprise she realized, for the first time, that he was showing himself to her like the Enishi that his sister and their father both loved and protected. Buried deep inside, far from the ruthless assassin he had been and the jaded penitent in search of a forgiving smile he was now, there was still a hurting human being, searching for the only thing he had ever craved -- affection and acceptance.

And then, she simply couldn't help but succumb to the craziest impulse...

*******

Beneath the wistful smile and the mask of sarcasm covering her words, there was no pity, like he had seen in Kamiya's face once. Instead, the light of true acceptance was shining in her eyes.

"If you indeed decide to leave, you should know that you will always have a friend and a place to stay when you pass through Aomori," she added quietly, lowering her gaze for a brief moment.

Then something else happened. His own eyes went wide with surprise when her finely shaped fingers touched his cheek gently, in a delicate show of tenderness. It was unexpected, undeserved, but so exhilarating to be close to someone, to someone who knew, and yet did not turn her back on him in disgust and revulsion. Moreover, the sensation went beyond that. With no little surprise, he had to admit that it felt extremely nice to be close to her in particular.

Enishi found his own hand covering hers soon enough, as though of its own volition, while the other mirrored her gesture, and went beyond, his thumb tracing the perfect curve of her tempting lips. She widened her eyes, but made no gesture to retract her hand from his face in rejection, and before he could think of what he was doing, he leaned forward and kissed her, in a chaste, near ethereal touch, a mere brush of their lips.

When he retreated, he looked at her directly in the face, searching for any signs of disgust. There were none. He lost himself in her beautiful but haunted eyes that shone with the golden reflections of the glow in the fireplace. There were confusion and doubts in them, and beneath that, loneliness and emptiness that clamored to be quenched.

As much as in my own, that's for sure.

She had hid it well, under the pile of work she usually was immersed in, the teasing, the laughs and the walls of irony and acid remarks of her witty tongue. But it was clear that work and distant friends didn't fill the void in her life. There were things encased in one's heart that could not be shared, except with those who knew how it felt to fall from grace.

Her pale skin shone magnificently in perfect contrast with the sea of black tresses enveloping her frame. Even being disheveled as she was, she was the pure and unadulterated epitome of beauty to him.

But as much as he wanted to lose himself in her, it was not his right to act upon his wish.

*******

What was she doing? What was she thinking? Why wasn't she screaming at the top of her lungs and running out of the place?

He. Had. Kissed. Her.

Softly, chastely, but kissed her nevertheless.

In other circumstances, she would have probably tried (vainly, knowing the kind of strong and fast warrior he was) to have his balls for the boldness. She would not be touched against her will ever again. Never, ever.

But was it against her will this time? Megumi was not sure anymore, she simply was a maze of confused thoughts and battling emotions. She was tired of being alone, tired of remaining enclosed in the security of her hidden sanctuary, but at the same time, she was scared. She had been hurt too much, and for too long to trust. Could she put her faith in this man, even for a short while? For the brevity of a casual encounter, to make her feel alive again? Could she simply surrender to her need for the warmth of another's human touch?

She looked in his eyes once more. What she saw there made all the difference. He was undeniably looking at her with the eyes of a man, but also with the eyes of someone as lonely as she was. In addition, he did not intend to use her. He was too open and vulnerable himself at that point, lying emotionally naked in front of her. And for a man like him, with his past, that meant to put a lot of trust on her shoulders.

But there was something even more important; it was plain to see and feel that the one thing that this man wanted and needed was the same thing that he was offering to her, a ragged bout of affections. Why did not she feel like it was bad?

Her head was spinning with heady sensations she had never felt before. It did not feel bad at all…just…just right.

He still covered her hand with his, but it was a contact loose enough to allow her to retreat it if she wanted to, a sign that told her that he wanted her to know that it was she who controlled the situation. Nobody had ever given her such a choice before.

The electrifying feel of his mouth over hers had left a phantom trail behind, and she could not help but touch her lips. It felt good, really good. Rarely had she been 'kissed', and never with such delicacy. She shuddered, rapidly burying the images resurfacing in her mind.

He registered her reaction and frowned, a look of concern passing through his expressive eyes. He pulled the furs closer to her frame, and then started to roll on his side, as to give her some space again.

Megumi widened her eyes, realizing he had mistaken her reaction to her old memories for rejection.

She had to make a decision, and fast. She could still close her eyes, roll on her side and keep herself covered by the safe blanket of loneliness, but did she want to?

*******

After she had touched her lips where he had brushed them, and her subsequent reaction, he had resigned to her refusal, something he had half expected, given who he was, and what he represented to her. Besides, the obvious abuse she had suffered at Takeda's hands had surely made her wary and suspicious of any man's touch and motives. All in all, her rejection would not have been her fault; it was just as things stood between them. It was enough of a prize to have been granted the privilege of her friendship. He would simply roll on his side, and they would forget all about it, and the event would never be mentioned again between them.

Before he could turn his back completely, her hand clasped his shoulder so tightly, demanding his attention, that he rolled to face her again. She hovered over him for a second, and then her lips were upon his, replaying his previous deed to her. One of his hands went to her head, while he kissed her back, softly, briefly, reassuringly. She pressed her forehead against his, and he had the chance to drink in all her beauty. Their lips met again and this time, he was bolder, his hand pressing lightly on her nape, nibbling and teasing her bottom lip. She gasped, and he took the advantage to explore the insides of her mouth in a languorous, sensuous kiss.

It was obvious for her awkward actions that she had never been properly kissed before, or treated like a woman should. The marks he had seen earlier revealed a sad tale, one he had witnessed before, and made him understand her previous hesitation. He thought he would make sure she did not regret her trust.

While he rolled on his side, his mouth never leaving hers, his free arm found its path to her waist, bringing her closer to him. She merely yielded to his onslaught, her hands clenching and unclenching over his shoulders nervously.

******

His breath was warm against her skin, his closeness and the caresses of his mouth disturbing, arousing in her things she had never felt before. She was trembling, unsure of what she should do next. A calloused thumb brushed under her jaw ever so gently, tilting her chin up until their eyes met. He remained still, not making any more advances, just looking at her deeply, his eyes a completely open window allowing her an unrestricted view to his now vulnerable self. It was so clear…he was just waiting, waiting for her. And she finally made her decision.

******

When Megumi rose in her place and sat down, he watched her, mildly confused, but he had a clear answer when she started to take off the naga-juban[i] she had rescued earlier from the row of drying clothes.

He straightened up by her side, helping her trembling hands, his long fingers running over the newly-bared flesh as the silk pooled around her, murmuring in open admiration at the sight revealed now freely for his eyes. Enishi trailed soft kisses down her neck, shoulders and her back, making her gasp in what he noticed was surprised delight.

After they finished undressing her, and Megumi was fully exposed to his view, he found her blushing, her hands quivering, folded tentatively in her lap. It was obvious that she had never had done this before, at least not willingly. He had caught sight of her repressing the urge to cover her exposed skin a couple of times; he found her coyness endearing.

Her sudden shivering and the goose bumps on her skin made him aware of the coldness around them again, rapidly forgotten in front of the picture of sheer beauty that was the lady in front of him.

He pulled her down with him to lie side by side again, wrapping the furs around them once again, to protect them from the outer chill. The action also seemed to ease her self-consciousness and hesitancy a bit, and timidly, her arm found its way around his waist. He did not need any more encouragements, and wrapped her in a tight embrace, his lips probing her mouth again.

Slowly, Megumi started to kiss him back, leaving behind her passiveness bit by bit; he knew at that moment that she would accompany him in that trip until the very end.

*****

Slowly but steadily, all her weariness and hesitation was vanishing. Surprise and wonder arose within her when she understood that the electrifying sensation, the fire running down her veins, was her own want.

Wizard or demon, she did not know what he was nor what kind of spell he had weaved on her to make her feel like this, and truth be told, it didn't matter to her anymore, either. But one thing was certain: Enishi had made the world outside the cabin and its concerns, past and present, disappear.

All that mattered to her at that point was here and now, letting that fiery passion that was crawling under their skins consumed her.

She dismissed the rational part of her brain that clamored for her to stop, to run away from that man, from the promise of tattered remains that would be left of her after their affair. But somehow, she didn't care anymore.

Megumi arched against him, looking for even greater closeness, the fire pooling between her legs clamoring to be quenched. For once, she wanted to know how it was, how it felt, without reservations, without fears, without pain.

And if anything else, her companion in loneliness was offering her just that, such a precious gift, a jewel that had been stolen from her, and she had thought lost forever, and just for that, and for his unexpected tenderness, he deserved her gratitude.

Just for this night.

She indeed wanted to be lost in the warmth of his breath, in the silkiness of his hands' caresses, the muskiness of his skin, the heavenly shelter his eyes promised.

Just for this night.

Her heart ached for the balm of the company he offered, the refuge of his arms against the ever-present solitude, even for just one brief interlude. They could deal later with what tomorrow would bring; but for today they both just needed to be held, a tad of affection, and someone who simply cared a little bit.

Pouring a mixture of tenderness and passion over her body and soul, Enishi was opening a world she had thought she had no right to experience, a world where she melted and burned and soared the heavens, all at once. Through his reverent, gentle touch and gestures, Megumi found out what it meant to be simply, wonderfully, a woman. Not the doctor, not the friend, not the counselor, or the mere object of someone's pleasure, but simply the woman she had always been denied the chance to be.

Megumi held onto him as if her life depended on it; in a way, it did it. She needed, for once, to lose herself, to feel alive, and for a fleeting moment, to fill the void. And he was offering that elusive piece of heaven to her, even if briefly.

When Enishi finally let go of her mouth, all puffy and swollen, her breath came in irregular gasps, and she felt light-headed, the heady fog of desire enveloping her senses. Shivers of surprised delight coursed through her body when his fingers trailed lazily over her ribs and down her sides. Soft gasps escaped her mouth with each small bite and graze of his teeth and swirl of his tongue over the exposed skin of her neck and collarbone. Somewhere during the exchange, her hands had tousled his unruly hair, burrowing his face closer, and from there, they took pleasure in wandering on his back.

Delicious tremors of anticipation coursed through her spine and knots of desire formed in her belly when Enishi moaned his approval at her bolder explorations. The gesture caused him to pull her closer and she yielded eagerly to his now demanding embrace, his arousal blatant this time.

Megumi closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel the shivers of desire that were curling out from her stomach. After a brief moment, she half opened them, looking at him in full detail. He was soft and wild, fire and snow, all at once, and suddenly, she found she wanted more.

********

It was not easy to keep a calm pace. The fact that he was lying with an incredibly beautiful female made him even more aware of the time elapsed since the last time he had had a woman, and it was not helping his cause. However, he had that feeling in his gut telling him that she needed it to be slow and tender, so he repressed the urge for hurrying things up until she was his. It was the least he could do for her, since she had given him so many things both knowingly and unknowingly.

She threw back her head, leaving her neck completely exposed, entangling her fingers in his hair, attracting him closer, encouraging him to take more of her. Cupping her exquisitely soft, round buttocks, he pressed her against him. Megumi complied with increasing boldness to his rising demand, and when she squirmed to mold to him, she unconsciously brushed herself maddeningly against his heated flesh. He could not help but stifle his moan against her flesh, nibbling at the tender skin of her collarbone, his blood set on fire by the touch.

He delved down in the covers, his hands going upwards, tickling the undersides of her breasts before creeping upwards and brushing over her nipples. His mouth followed suit, seeking the taste of the full, ripe mounds. Megumi stiffened in his hold and her grip on him became lax. Worried, he looked into her face, and found a hard scowl settled on it, her eyelids tightly shut.

Something wasn't right.

He set again in his former position, enveloping her in a loose embrace, caressing her back soothingly, kissing lightly her face, nuzzling tenderly her throat, and finally pressing his forehead to hers.

"Listen, Megumi, if you are having second thoughts…I…understand."

****

Enishi's voice had been deeper than usual, husky, thick with desire. But that was not what had caught her attention. She had heard leering men before.

It had been the concern in it that had made her snap out of a last minute wave of doubt and self consciousness that had assaulted her when his more explicit explorations brought back awful memories of other places and other men, less considerate and far more brutal. And that he had stopped, worried for her.

She had thought Enishi capable of many things, but never of such consideration and self-control.

Megumi looked at him closely, the obvious tension that restraint was putting on him visible in the tightly clenched jaw, the closed eyes, and the effort he went to avoid contact of any kind between their lower bodies.

"You really meant it," she whispered, in a mixture of wonder and relief, her eyes wide, drinking the sight of a mystery disguised under the shape of a man.

She caressed his face, and when he opened his eyes and tried to protest, she put two fingers on his lips silencing him, while her other hand looked for one of his, to guide it slowly and purposely to her breast, keeping her gaze locked to his. She wanted it, now that the last threads of doubts and ugly memories had vanished, and she wanted him to know it.

He groaned loudly, shivering, and pulled her close, drowning her in a earth shattering kiss, while his hand cupped and squeezed her breast lightly, extracting from her a soft whimper of delight.

Suddenly it hit her. She realized the effect she had on him, and how she was effectively the one in control. A new, previously unknown, wild sensation intoxicated her. It was pure empowerment, and it made her throw away her last inhibitions, the heat between her legs coming back with a vengeance.

Though she knew she wasn't exactly unpleasant to the eye, she felt somewhat reassured and proud at the reaction she extracted from him.

Her hand wandered, tracing in detail his chest, back and arms. She felt him pulsing and hardening against her thigh once again after she started to caress him, as he muffled a moan against her mouth.

Unexpectedly, Enishi stilled her hand. With deliberate slowness, he brought her forearm to his face, her scar painfully visible. Megumi widened her eyes, and then turned her face, avoiding the sight. But what he did next completely undid her. He kissed it lovingly, from one extreme to the other, with closed eyes, and then wound her arm around his neck. Then he took the other, and repeated the whole process.

Megumi suddenly felt like melting at the surprising tenderness of his gesture, and for a brief instant, before being caught in the fire once again, she wondered how many faces that puzzling man had.

********

With her nervousness gone after that last uneasy moment, things spiraled very soon into a raging storm of passion, as strong as the one outside the cabin.

His mouth dipped down her chest, taunting and sucking her nipple, his teeth rasping and sensitizing it, until she ground her hips unconsciously against his, looking instinctively for some kind of relief for the fire burning inside of her.

He groaned, sucking her harder, her reactions arousing him even more, making him wonder how much longer he would last without ravishing her. He wanted desperately to be buried inside the welcoming warmth she promised, and at the same time, to be held, even if briefly, in her accepting arms. He had never felt like this before, so vulnerable, his soul as bare as his body. But it was all right, because she understood.

Megumi whimpered her disappointment when he left her breast, her hands tightened in fists, hitting his back in an untold demand for more.

And more she'll get, Enishi thought, attending its abandoned twin lavishly, sucking and biting softly, blowing on the wet trails his wicked tongue had left behind, making her moan and whimper, and tug painfully on his hair, demanding more.

Giving a mental smirk, he looked proudly on the deeds of his hands and mouth, evident by her now blatant eagerness.

A shiver of undisguised desire coursed through his body at the mere sight of the glowing figure in front of him, illuminated in glorious hues of gold by the nearby fire.

She tasted so good, her skin was so fair and silky. His hands couldn't stop caressing her, drinking the softness of her flesh, basking in the plentiful curves she possessed. He sucked and nibbled at her neck softly, tugging lightly on her skin, knowing that they'd regret the marks in the morning, but both now too wild to even care.

His actions ignited the awkward impatience of her hands, which began exploring him on their own accord, almost driving him crazy. But things got even worse when her hand pressed against his nape, the fingers lifting to thread through his hair and she kissed him more forcefully, pushing at the same time her body against his, until they were almost impossibly close. He groaned against her hungry mouth, being as he was at the point of almost spontaneous combustion. He was lingering on the edge, as tense as a coiled spring about to jump.

But he had his physical desire firmly in check, his more urgent needs of human closeness taking the lead.

For once, he wanted to give, and not merely take. Tired of solitude, he chose to play pretend, no,*they* chose to play pretend, and spend their loneliness together just for a while, before morning washed it all away, and everything went back to the way it used to be. He closed his eyes, chasing away those dark thoughts, focusing in the pleasure of the moment again, blocking out everything else.

Megumi's gasp when one of his hands diverted its path, taunting her lithe belly, brought his attention back. He smirked, his lips on the pulsing point at her neck, knowing that she wouldn't miss the gesture.

His fingers played at the rim of her navel, making her giggle a little with the ticklish sensation. She tensed again, digging her nails painfully in his shoulders when his fingers went lower, brushing the soft curls covering her womanhood, and when he raised his head to look at her in concern, he found her eyes widening in surprise, but not in rejection.

Instinctively, Enishi relaxed his pace again, focusing on her breasts, neck and mouth, while his hands roamed almost lazily down her skin, getting closer and closer to his goal with each stroke. Finally, when Megumi was distracted enough, lost in his hungry kisses, he nudged her thighs apart, slipping one of his between hers, brushing it lightly against her core. This time her response was slightly more painful, she moaned, biting his lower lip until she drew blood, and her nails carved raw tracks on his back when his fingers went upward, sliding over the tender flesh of her upper thigh. Enishi kept caressing her like this for several minutes, his hand going up and down, without doing anything but teasingly brushing against her sex, while he rocked his hips against her in time with his touches.

Slowly, Megumi started to move against his hand and his thigh, her own need mounting bit by bit, until the movements of her body and the hungriness of her mouth informed him that she was ready for the next step.

****

It was nothing like what she had ever experience before, their physical closeness felt delicious, skin against skin, hands wandering on each other's bodies, discovering, probing, pleasing, not an ounce of pain or shame involved.

There was an undeniable urgency in Enishi's touch and his arousal was patent, the rhythmical press of his body against hers, in explicit imitation of what he intended to do inside of her a little bit later, leaving no doubts about it.

However, the slow progression of things, plus the mixture of gentleness and electrifying expertise in each one of his caresses, made it all natural, touching and thrilling instead of threatening, and painful.

Closing her eyes for the briefest instant, she relished in the sweet fire cascading over her body, wanting him, as she had never believed possible to want a man, taking pride in the reactions she also extracted from him.

A jolt of unexpected pleasure was triggered in between her legs, taking her breath away: his fingers had gone past caressing her curls, dipping inside her folds, probing and taunting. The feeling was so fiery that she found herself biting him on the chest, something she just realized when she heard his pained groan.

Her action clearly increased his passion, a wild light burning inside his eyes, his kisses becoming a tad rougher and his hands wandering on her with a touch of impatient demand and wicked teasing.

Megumi tossed her head back, shutting her eyes tightly and clinging to his body, the limits of reality blurring under the onslaught her senses were receiving. A wondrous feeling was building up down her belly, something so intense that it was almost scary. Unconsciously, she ground herself against his fingers, wanting more of the scorching pleasure washing over her, radiating from a very tiny spot pulsing in the middle of her womanhood. She opened her legs more for him in the process, taking boldly his hand in hers, guiding him where it felt better. His chest vibrated with a feral growl at her daring move, and she was caught once more in the fire spread by his kisses.

That prompted Enishi to shift their positions, having her lay on her back, with him now almost kneeling above her. Normally, she would have found the situation somewhat threatening, but at this point, she wanted him exactly where he was. In fact, she wanted him pumping against her, moving deeply within her body; she wanted him madly, intensely, as she had never wanted before.

"Now…now!" she demanded in a low, smoky voice, the urgency laced with her open eagerness. "I want you now."

Enishi didn't answer, his hand still toying with her flesh, as she grew increasingly impatient, beating lightly against his back in demanding protest with her hands tightly knotted in fists. Her breath was caught in her lungs and she went still of an instant when he slipped first one, and then two fingers inside her, and only increasing her desire. Megumi arched against his probing digits, attempting to make the contact all the deeper, but it was not enough to quiet the clamor rising in her blood.

*****

She was ready for him.

Damn ready, wet and warm, and welcoming. He clenched his jaw tightly, fighting the urge to take her right there.

As things were, he wouldn't last, he knew it. Seven years without tasting a woman was too long of a time.

He was already so excited that his erection was painful, and she was so tight, feeling almost like a virgin; it would require nothing short of a real miracle to avoid coming immediately after entering her.

Megumi was so eager, spread before him in wanton abandonment, all her being clamoring for release. It was a mind-blowing image; but if he did give in to her demand, in the way she wanted, she would not get real satisfaction.

He doubted that in other circumstances, he would have cared so much about it, satiating his feral need first and making it up to her later, but this was far from being a normal situation.

It was so unique, the woman beneath him in such a raw pain and in need for comfort and closeness of any kind as much as he was, that it made him care. It was nothing, just a mere physical release, but it was all he could give to her.

So he fought the overwhelming desire burning down his veins, trying to distract himself with more random and unattractive thoughts, while with hands and mouth and the best of his abilities he built the path to her climax.

******

Why was he being so cruel? Why couldn't he be inside of her once and for all? She wanted to cry in disappointment and frustration. But then, all of a sudden, a shattering pleasure ripped her inside out, stopping anything else but the wave of delight coursing through her flesh.

So, this is it. It was the only coherent thought she managed to form amid a joyous feeling of plenitude, while she clasped him tightly in her arms. This is how it feels.

*******

Her long moan, announcing her release, set his blood finally ablaze. He could not wait any longer.

As soon as her tremors subsided and her hold on him relaxed, he grabbed her hips parting them wider, making more room for him between her legs. Then, he took her in a quick thrust, burying himself to the hilt, making her yelp in surprise. He went perfectly still just afterwards, trying to regain a small measure of control before losing it completely.

"Did I hurt you?" his voice sounded sharp with the effort of restraint.

When she made a negative gesture, the knot of anxiety settled in his stomach dissolved. "Look, it's been too long for me and…," he explained brokenly.

Megumi smiled, and nodded, understanding, wrapping him in her arms, her legs wounding around his waist. And so, he finally let himself go in the silky slickness that was wrapping around his flesh maddeningly.

****

It was strange, feeling so full. However, unlike she had half expected, it hadn't been painful at all.

Of course, I should have trusted more in the reactions of my body.

Just mere moments ago, she had wanted to feel him like she was doing it now, so much that she had forgotten everything else, including her own concerns, obeying only the impulses of her own need, aroused by his expert hands.

She had wanted to have him buried within the depths of her body, and she had felt so frustrated when he had denied her wish that she would have wanted to throw him on the floor and ravish him. Now she understood why he had acted like this, and it made her feel strangely touched, that he cared so much. As far as she was concerned, men only wanted to take, and be satisfied, and then, they left.

In one of the rare moments where their mouths weren't locked, she fixed her stare on Enishi, his features reflecting the pleasure enveloping his senses, yet she knew he wasn't letting himself go completely.

His skin, which still kept the taste of summer in his golden smoothness, was glossy with a thin film of sweat, despite the merciless cold around them. It glowed in hues of bronze over his magnificent body, and he suddenly reminded her of those sculptures that the wealthy collected. The effect enhanced also the contrast with his intense bluish-green eyes and his silver hair, making it more striking. Oddly, at that moment she remembered how appalled she had been at Misao's observation on how handsome Enishi was the day of the battle at the beach, and how she had rebuked the young shinobi. But now, laying in his arms like this, she had to admit that Misao had a valid point: he really was a very handsome man.

Moving in synchrony with his plunges, she had finally adjusted to his almost savage tempo. Somewhere along the ride, the already familiar tingle of uncanny pleasure grew once again down her belly, and Enishi noticed. However, it was too late to stop the frantic pace, and, with a feral grunt and sinking in her as deep as he could, he came. As he had predicted, it hadn't taken too long for him to reach his climax. But he didn't stop moving, adding his fingers to quicken the pace of her own peak.

His insistence paid off, and soon she found herself closing her eyes, hearing only the blood hammering in her ears, thrown by a second time into the crashing waves of delight. Then, everything faded away. It took her a long moment to once more obtain a grip on reality.

Enishi had already withdrawn from her body, but was still on top of her. He was just kneeling between her legs to avoid crushing her, his head resting between her breasts, while he was panting heavily. Megumi wrapped him in a loose embrace with one of her arms, while she removed the wet bangs clinging to his forehead, hiding his eyes. He simply looked at her, smiled and closed his lids, returning her embrace with his own. She kissed the top of his head, and he sighed contentedly.

They knew they'd have to separate, but neither of them seemed to want it. For in a way, they knew that that would mean the beginning of a deeper parting. So, they laid there, clinging to each other, until sleep took over them.

*******

Started:14-04-2004
Finished: 17-05-2004

First revision: 18-05-2004 Second revision: 23-06-2004 Third revision: 29-06-2004

First Posted:1-07-2004

My total and complete gratitude to MightyMightyMunson, OddDoll (from AFFnet), Naniris (from AFFnet), Yokaze Koujin (from AFFnet), Kamorgana, Mary Ann and Mara-Amber for their helpful comments and hints, their INVALUABLE help in Beta-reading, editing and correcting this chapter.

There is an explanation about my style, and certain choices I made, helped by my beta's, in my LJ. The person concerned about the awkwardness and forced tone of my writing should give it a look. It's an explanation and not an attempt of discussion, or anything like this.

Answers to the readers/reviewers, in my LJ. Remember, username: tiger(low dash)consort or revise my bio for the link. Thanks.

AN: This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs License. To view a copy of this license, visit http:// creativecommons.org / licenses / by-nc-nd / 2.0 / or send a letter to Creative Commons, 559 Nathan Abbott Way, Stanford, California 94305, USA. (to learn more about what this means and why I include it, read my LJ)