Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Never for the Public... ❯ Blood Money ( Chapter 5 )

Never for the public…

Chapter 5 - Blood Money

Chapter Summary - How did a rurouni afford the rare, unexplainables?

 

This story has not been beta'd.

 

Summary: Kaoru's suffered a traumatic experience resulting in anxiety attacks. How does Kenshin plan to cure her? This story is based on the manga and anime up to the end of the Kyoto Arc, and ignores the Jinchuu Arc. However, sometime before this story, Kenshin does confide his past to his friends (same roundtable as in manga, different reasons irrelevant to this story)…

 

Note: The Japanese language is highly flexible and very beautiful. Although I do love mixing Japanese with English to try to keep the story true, I believe there is a limit which can severely decrease a story's enjoyment factor. I decided to ignore Kenshin's changes between his use of “sessha” versus “ore,” although I felt it necessary to keep “de gozaru.” Nevertheless, this story does contain MANY Japanese phrases. I've included a glossary at the end for reference. I apologize to those whom may not enjoy this story due to the intricate language mix.

 

The warning only applies to the first two chapters. Since the rest are “normal” chapters, I'm removing the warning and reducing the rating…

 

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor claim to own, any part of Watsuki Nobuhiro-dono's creations.

Rated: X

 

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Kaoru opened her eyes to complete darkness. She cuddled into the warmth surrounding her, suddenly gasping when powerful arms tightened around her. Her nose brushed against hard muscle, and a dizzy sensation kicked in. Her throat constricted and she panted for air…

 

Kenshin woke to Kaoru's struggles. He dashed out of bed and grabbed Megumi's medicine from a traveling bag. Quickly mixing an approximate dose of the powder and some drops of water into his hand, he rushed back to Kaoru, forcing the pasty mixture down her throat. She coughed spasmodically, and he tried to sit her upright. Kaoru fought him with all of her strength, wrestling for her freedom.

 

“Kaoru! Kaoru!” Kenshin called out to her, trying to get her to recognize him. Kaoru's strength almost matched a man's, and Kenshin was forced to pin her to the futon, unintentionally worsening her panic attack.

 

“No! Leave me alone! Don't touch me! Stop touching me! I beg you! Please!” She screamed out, breaking down into hysterical sobs. Kenshin pinned her hands above her head and covered her body with his, his heart wrenching with each sob and scream peeled from her. Kenshin stayed still, not wanting to aggravate her further. She finally ceased her physical labor, but her sobbing worsened. Many, many long minutes later, she finally calmed down.

 

“Kenshin?” she asked fearfully. Kenshin breathed a sigh of relief, released her hands, and got up on his elbows to look down at her.

 

“Kaoru,” he answered, stroking her cheek lovingly. She hiccupped cutely, and he kissed the tears away on both of her cheeks. He slowly worked his way back to her mouth, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. As he lifted his head, she followed and kissed him back. Kenshin's heart thudded happily. He kissed her a bit deeper, Kaoru reciprocating enthusiastically. He teased her lips open with his tongue, tasting her for the first time. Kaoru suddenly froze under him, her breathing hitched. Kenshin sighed and rolled them over so that she was lying on top of him. Kaoru looked down at him confused. Kenshin laid her head on his chest, listening to her breathing as it slowly evened out.

 

“Gomen, Kenshin,” Kaoru mourned.

 

“For what, de gozaru?” he asked quietly.

 

“They took the only precious gift I wanted to save for you,” she whispered.

 

“Kaoru.” She looked up at him. He sat them both up and cradled her sideways to his chest, embracing her closely. He cupped her face in his hands and gazed deeply into her eyes.

 

“Aishiteru, Kaoru… you, not your virginity. I can't sympathize your pain of having it ripped away from you, but I can empathize the pain with you. Virgin or not, the man whom wins your heart would still be the luckiest man in history,” Kenshin proclaimed, baring his heart's desire for her.

 

“But--“ Kenshin silenced her protest with an impassioned kiss. Heat flared up between them too quickly as their hands roved each other's backs, fighting to seal in their closeness. Kenshin slowly ended the kiss, but kept Kaoru close to himself.

 

“Kenshin?” she looked up to see him blinking in thought. His eyes widened. He looked earnestly at Kaoru, something in his memories tickling his mind. Kenshin studied her carefully. Sighing heavily, he lay back down, pulling Kaoru down with him to rest at his side. She settled her head comfortably in the crook of his shoulder, exhausted from her earlier anxiety attack. Kenshin listened to her drowsy breathing and rejected the idea in his mind for now.

 

“Not yet,” he whispered, reaching down and adjusting the blankets around them.

 

“Oro? Not yet for what, Kenshin?” she asked almost asleep. Kenshin breathed deeply.

 

“I'm not sure, but I think I understand something Megumi-dono told me. However, there is only one way for me to test her theory, and I don't think you're ready.” Kaoru sulked.

 

“I don't understand what you're mumbling about, Kenshin?” she asked frustrated. He smiled at her usual short-temper.

 

“Daijoubu. I promise I'll show you when I think you're ready, ok?”

 

“What if I say I'm ready now?” she snapped.

 

“You just had two panic attacks when we only kissed. I don't want to imagine what would happen if we went further than just kissing,” he explained. She blinked, blushing brightly, then the light slowly bled from her eyes.

 

“So then, we can never get closer?” she replied forlornly. Kenshin expression turned somber.

 

“Remember, they said only you can cure yourself, but to do that you must face and overcome your fear. Kaoru, I can't bring myself to help you re-live that fear. Perhaps we can both figure out how to cure you together?” he smiled. She gazed at him hopefully. He gently soothed her head back down to his chest.

 

“Rest now. We'll be lazy for a few days.” Kaoru leaned closer on top of Kenshin, laying her ear to his chest. They languidly fell back asleep.

 

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Kaoru mused over how late she had slept in. She had no idea she was that exhausted from gardening, and it was no where near as strenuous as kendo training! She stepped outside into the gorgeous sunshine. Kenshin was kneeling on the porch in his kimono, wiping some choji oil on his sakabatou, carefully scrutinizing the blade.

 

“Kenshin?!” Kenshin's head snapped up and he smiled brilliantly.

 

“Ohayo, de gozaru, Kaoru-do… er Kaoru!” he stuttered sheepishly. She smiled and kneeled down beside him.

 

“I've never seen you care for your katana, Kenshin?” she asked curiously.

 

“I usually waited until you were sleeping or away from dojo, de gozaru,” he replied. She frowned.

 

“Do I really nag you so much?” he looked up surprised.

 

“No… I just never wanted you to worry, de gozaru,” he said while concentrating on his sakabatou. Kaoru was flattered; Kenshin trusted her enough that he now allowed her to observe this activity precious to him. She quietly admired the extreme care he took with his sword, when she noticed something…

 

“Kenshin? What are those chips in blade? Isn't this a new sakabatou?”

 

“It was new until I fought against Aoshi, Soujirou, and Shishio, all in the same day,” he smiled, satisfied with his work and resheathed his sword. Holding up the hilt, he double-checked the tightness of the hilt's pin, then gathered his kit back together. Kenshin turned to Kaoru, to find her staring at him as she reminisced her worries of that particularly hellish battle.

 

“Daijoubu ka, de gozaru, Kaoru?” She startled and looked down at her hands in her lap. Recalling how Kenshin was brought back from Mt. Hiei on the verge of death, she threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. Kenshin put down his sword and pulled her up into his lap.

 

“Did I upset you again, my Kaoru?” he questioned sadly. He held up her chin and gently wiped away her tears.

 

“No, I was just remembering how terrified I was when you almost died after that battle. I couldn't stand to see you lying so helplessly in pain. Did you know for the first week you were brought back, those Kyoto doctors all said you had no chance of survival before Megumi-san got there?” Kenshin sadly shook his head no…

 

“The first night Megumi-san was here…” she inhaled sharply, cutting off the threatening sob, “… you died...” Kenshin eyes bulged in shock. No one had ever told him about this…

 

“I was sitting by your bed when it happened. I was holding your hand, and suddenly, your hand squeezed mine painfully. When I looked up, you were wheezing for air. I screamed for Megumi-san. She rushed in, along with everyone in the Aoiya, I think. You started having seizures, then you sucked in one last breath and collapsed. Megumi-san and Sanosuke saved your life… Megumi-san tried breathing air back into you, but it didn't work. We were all distraught when Sanosuke got pissed off and punched your chest. You coughed, and Megumi-san tried again. Finally, you started breathing again… I cried myself to sleep for a week and a half, believing you weren't going to survive this time… I prayed so hard--” Kenshin tilted her head up and kissed her desperately before her sobs broke. Stroking Kaoru's cheek, he softened the deep kiss, conveying his love to her. He moved up and kissed her nose, causing her to cross her eyes. He tittered amused.

 

“Kaoru, I'm very much alive and very much starving… would you like to be treated to lunch at the Aoiya today, de gozaru?” he smiled at her.

 

“Nani?! Are you serious, Kenshin?” she asked sniffling, happily surprised.

 

“Let's change our clothes and walk to town,” he helped Kaoru stand, then reached down for his sakabatou and cleaning kit. They entered the house together.

 

“Wait a minute, you are treating me? With what money?!” she asked suspiciously.

 

“Aaaaah, don't worry about it!” Kenshin rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and grabbed a hakama. Kaoru glared at him.

 

“Keeeenshiiiiin…” she growled out. He sweat-dropped and backed away from the imminent explosion, almost tripping as he stepped into the hakama.

 

“Have you been holding out on me all these months?” Kaoru cornered him and he sighed defeated.

 

“I just don't like using blood-money,” he said simply as he quickly tied his hakama.

 

“Blood-money?” Kaoru asked puzzled. He sighed defeated.

 

“I was very well compensated during my time in the Bakumatsu. I just had no desire to spend any more of it than I actually needed. When the first battle at Toba Fushimi was victorious, I vanished from the battleground and came here…” Kenshin took Kaoru's hand and led her into the bedroom. He pulled down a wall-hanging. Kaoru watched amazed as Kenshin loosened an undetectable wall panel. A small shelf lay inside with a large quantity of small pouches. He looked at her expectantly. Kaoru walked up to the opening and took out a pouch. She opened it to find ten whole gold ryo inside. Her eyes bulged.

 

“Kami-sama Kenshin!” She exclaimed, looking back to the pile of the small pouches. “You're… you're rich,” she stuttered astonished. Kenshin retrieved the pouch from her hands and took out one ryo, tucking it into his kimono sleeve.

 

“We'll get this exchanged at Kyoto Bank before lunch,” Kenshin said nonchalantly, tying the pouch and laying it back on top of the stack.

 

“You earned all of this--?” Kenshin disturbingly slammed the wall panel back in place. Kaoru startled at his distraught fist on the wall. He hid his eyes under his bangs.

 

“Is the worth of life measurable in gold? Do you think I deserve this, Kaoru?” he whispered strongly, agony apparent in his voice.

 

“If you felt you didn't deserve it, why keep it? Why not donate it all to a shrine?” she asked humbly. He silently re-hung the decoration.

 

“Since I found myself unable to part with this house, I threw a clause into my will for this money to be split in two: half for Akiha-chan and Tadashi-chan, the other half for Shishou. I thought I would help the people to whom I'd been a continual burden as part of my atonement,” he quietly admitted.

 

“Your will?” she questioned. Eyes still hidden, he smiled sadly.

 

“My death was assured in the line of duty as a hitokiri… who knew I would actually live to see the war's end?” Kaoru crossed her hands and stared at the ground. Kenshin tipped her chin up and sighed.

 

“It seems I have to repeat myself,” he said, “you keep making me raise your eyes, my Kaoru.” Kaoru looked at him quietly, a neutral expression on her face. Kenshin removed his hand.

 

“Are you upset with me?” he asked frowning.

 

“No… I was thinking of what you had to do to earn that money. I understand now why you call it blood-money. Gomen nasai, Kenshin,” she replied miserably. Kenshin blinked sympathetically and stepped closer to her. He pulled her into his arms and nuzzled her hair. Kaoru hugged his waist, rubbing her nose against his neck. They held each other quietly for a bit. Suddenly, Kaoru pulled back to look up into his eyes.

 

“Kenshin, YOU fought at the battle of Toba Fushimi?!!!” she blurted out in astonishment. Kenshin's face quirked before he burst into laughter.

 

“I was in the first unit at Toba Fushimi on the front-lines with the rest of the suicidal idiots,” Kenshin chuckled, lowering his arms to embrace her waist. She fisted her hands in his kimono, shaking her head dumbfounded.

 

“Mou Kenshin! Your life is really too much to take in!” she smiled up at him.

 

“Oh, is it really?” he teased leaning down to her.

 

“Ummm, it is,” she closed her eyes, his lips lightly caressing hers. Her arms encircled his shoulders, one hand running through his low ponytail. He deepened the chaste kisses, enjoying the intimacy. Kaoru slowly pulled away when the coin in Kenshin's kimono bumped into her side.

 

“Didn't you say something about treating me to lunch, rich guy?” she reminded him.

 

“Only if you promise never to mention a word about this money to anyone other than our children,” he winked slyly at her. Kaoru's face and neck turned fire-engine red…

 

“Aren't we a bit conceited today?” she teased back, taunting him.

 

“Hmmm? Considering my shishou, I think I learned from the best,” he quickly kissed her and left the bedroom for her to change clothes.

 

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“Kaoru-san, Himura! Konnichiwa! Oro?! Himura, you look dashingly handsome in blue!” Misao greeted. Kenshin held Kaoru back as she glared daggers at Misao.

 

“Konnichiwa, Misao-dono. We thought we'd stop by for lunch today, de gozaru,” Kenshin greeted, his rurouni smile fully in place.

 

“Of course! But you don't have to eat in the restaurant, come into the residence!” Misao led them inside beyond the crowded inn's section.

 

“Jiiya! Look who's here!” Misao called out.

 

“Oooohhh! Himura-dono, Kaoru-kun! I'm so glad to see you both! What brings you back to Kyoto?” Okina jovially greeted them. Okina kneeled down at the dining table; Kenshin and Kaoru kneeled together on the other side.

 

“As if you didn't know, de gozaru, Okina-dono?” Kenshin mocked teasingly. Okina guffawed.

 

“You haven't changed, Himura-dono!” Okina returned companionably, “so then, how long will you both be staying at your home?”

 

“That house has not been my home for many years, de gozaru. My home is in Tokyo, de gozaru,” Kenshin replied, sipping some tea. Kaoru looked at him happily blushing.

 

“Okina-dono, where is Aoshi?” Kenshin asked curiously.

 

“He's meditating at the temple today,” Okina replied, noticing Kaoru's blush, “And how have you been, Kaoru-kun? I'm sure you're happy now that Himura-dono's feelings have finally come out of hiding?” Kenshin visibly paled and choked on his tea.

 

“O-Okina-dono…” Kenshin stammered; Okina guffawed mockingly.

 

“Mou, Jiiya, leave poor Himura alone!” Misao laughed as she laid down her stack of food trays. She placed a tray in front of each of them and kneeled beside Okina.

 

“Itadakimasu!” While they ate, the other four Oniwanbanshu members dropped by individually with their greetings, then returned to serving their customers. Misao and Kaoru cleaned up and left for the kitchen, leaving Kenshin with Okina.

 

“How is Kaoru-kun really after that attack?” Okina got right to the point.

 

“I'm not sure if she can cure her anxiety, however, she is showing signs of improvement,” Kenshin answered. Okina stared Kenshin down…

 

“You do realize she'll have to be exposed to the same situation again in order for her to fully recover… It's obvious you brought her here to Kyoto to do just that,” Okina pointed out. Kenshin sighed. “Can bring yourself to restrain her to that breaking point? Are you able to do this by yourself, as you are now?”

 

“I can't stand seeing her in pain… I have no choice,” Kenshin replied strained.

 

“Hmmm, perhaps as the Battousai you would definitely be able to do this, but as your rurouni-self? Then again, I heard it was not the Battousai whom delivered Tenchuu on Mauvais…” Kenshin quirked an eyebrow warningly. Okina humphed, smiling in acknowledgement.

 

“Perhaps it would have been better if you had Sanosuke-kun aiding you…” Okina suggested lightly.

 

“No. I have to do this alone,” Kenshin stated firmly. Okina's eyebrow rose.

 

“You're afraid in your jealousy you might hurt someone since you haven't claimed Kaoru for yourself yet?” Okina smiled. Kenshin kept a neutral expression, staying quiet a moment before answering...

 

“Your insight is as sharp as ever, Okina-dono.” Okina chuckled in understanding. Kenshin and Okina stood up when Kaoru and Misao returned. Kenshin pulled out his wallet, but Okina stopped him before he could untie it.

 

“You may not be part of the Oniwanbanshu, but we consider everyone in the Kenshin-gumi as family!” Misao chirped. Kaoru giggled.

 

“Arigatou gozaimasu, Misao-chan, Okina-dono.” “Arigatou gozaimasu, de gozaru, Misao-dono, Okina-dono.” Kaoru and Kenshin said simultaneously, bowing to Misao and Okina.

 

“You two make the perfect couple. When's the marriage?” Misao giggled mischievously. Kaoru and Kenshin blushed.

 

“M-Misao-chan--” Kaoru stuttered embarrassed.

 

“It hasn't been decided yet,” Kenshin cut in. Kaoru gasped in shock at him. Okina chuckled evilly.

 

“Himura-dono, you haven't even proposed yet, have you?” Kenshin's eyes widened, blushing hotly. He turned and coughed into his fist.

 

“We should get going so that we can make it back before night, de gozaru,” Kenshin evaded. They walked out of the Aoiya. Okina and Misao wished them well on their way, and Kenshin and Kaoru headed back to their temporary home.

 

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Special Thanks: To jenniebennie, kokoronagomu, and Neko-lady. Katajikenai, minna-san.

 

Glossary:

 

-chan = an honorific pronoun suffix addressed to someone whom is younger, or equal to, in age, or for friends

-dono = an honorific pronoun suffix addressed to someone of important standing… Kenshin uses this over-excessively in connection with his Kenjougo (polite) language use

-gumi = an honorific pronoun suffix addressed to indicate a group or community

-kun = an honorific pronoun suffix addressed used by seniors, or schoolteachers, to address junior-aged males, and is still rarely used for females

-san = an honorific pronoun suffix addressed to someone whom is older, or is a stranger

Aishiteru = I love you

Arigatou gozaimasu = Thank you very much

Bakumatsu = The Late Tokugawa Shogunate period in Japan's history from 1853-1867, ending with the Boshin War of 1868 and the final battle at Toba-Fushimi

Battou-jutsu = (Quick Draw Technique) by whipping the sword out of its sheath, one can increase its speed twice- or three-fold, which can kill with one blow without taking a single blow from one's opponent. This is a real-life kenjutsu technique.

Battousai = Kenshin's name during the Bakumatsu Revolutionary War per his sword-fighting specialty, Battoujutsu… the -sai at the end designates him as a Battoujutsu Master, having perfected every Battou-technique possible

Choji oil = Choji oil is made from the oil of cloves and has been used for centuries in the care of Japanese blades.

Daijoubu = “It's ok.”, “Are you ok?”, “Everything will be alright.”

De gozaru = an obsolete phrase of extreme politeness added to the end of sentences, roughly translated to “that it is”, a form of “to be”… (I only use one conjugation of de gozaru to keep things simple.)

Gomen = I'm sorry

Gomen nasai = I'm very sorry

Hakama = traditional Japanese pants which resemble a wide, pleated skirt

Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu = the killing style of swordsmanship that Kenshin fights with, allowing him to swiftly slaughter a multitude of opponents at one time

Hitokiri = Assassin

Itadakimasu = expression of gratitude before meals

Itai = an exclamation, “ouch!” or “that hurts!”

Jiiya = only used in the Rurouni Kenshin manga/anime by Makimachi Misao… nickname for Ojiisan (grandfather)

Kami-sama = Lord God, literally… in this context, Good Lord!

Katana = Japanese sword

Kimono = traditional full-length garment of Japan

Konnichiwa = Hello

Mou = geez

Nani? = What?

Ohayo = Good Morning

Ore = “ I “ (typical brash male pronoun)

Oro = an exclamation, only slightly similar to the English “huh?”

Rurouni = homeless wanderer, vagabond

Sakabatou = Kenshin's reversed-blade sword

Sessha = this humbled one

Shishou = Master (usually of any sort of martial arts training)