Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Shards of Me ❯ Escaping the Dreamscape ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the property of Nobuhiro Watsuki. The main plotline of this story is completely fictional. Situations should in no way be considered truthful or based on real events. Political opinions expressed in the story are mine. If you do not agree with said opinions, do not flame me for them. Do no stoop so low as to berate me for what I hold to be truthful. Some smaller side stories may be based on factual events. I will alert you if they are.

 

Shards of Me

 

Chapter II: Escaping the Dreamscape

 

Kaoru woke slowly the next morning. The light of the sun in her eyes was startlingly painful and the taste in her mouth was almost enough to make her run for the bathroom again. She groaned and placed an arm over her eyes. Skipping out on work suddenly sounded like a wonderful idea.

 

Kaoru nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard soft footsteps, just outside her bedroom door. She had forgotten Kenshin was now staying with her. She doubted she would have heard him at all, except for the fact that her hearing was vindictively sensitive beyond words. Even the sound of her own breathing drove hammers through her brain.

 

She had to get up in stages, first rising slowly to her elbows, then sitting fully, and then swinging one leg at a time over the edge of her bed. Her nose wrinkled distastefully as she realized that she'd fallen asleep in her clothes. She stood too quickly and the room spun around her like a wild top. Definitely not working today, she thought.

 

She shuffled to her closet and found a pair of pajama pants and an oversize T-shirt. She completed the ensemble with her fluffy, electric blue robe, a gift from Misao she was suddenly grateful for. The room seemed drafty and cold around her, even though she could feel sweat on her back. She contemplated slippers, but decided on socks instead. She could wear those back to bed.

 

At last, long past what seemed an acceptable time to get dressed, Kaoru stumbled out of her room, absently wondering if sunglasses might ease the light on her eyes. Kenshin sat at the kitchen table, the morning paper spread out before him. He looked up as she entered, a gentle smile on his face.

 

“I fixed you some oatmeal with milk.” His voice was soft, as though he knew even the whisper was driving nails into her skull. “You're probably not hungry, but try and eat a little.”

 

Kaoru sat at the table and stared uncomprehending at the bowl and spoon. He'd covered the bowl with a piece of waxed paper (When did I get waxed paper?) to keep it warm. She peeled the sheet back and had to stifle a groan. Kenshin certainly had not changed in some ways. He'd managed to make something as unappetizing as oatmeal look absolutely delicious. She probably would have made it explode. What was normally just brown mush, was…still brown mush, but a swirl of milk (But that expired last week.) adorned with a sprinkling of cinnamon and a garnish of a strawberry (I thought the strawberries had gone bad.) made it look positively inviting. But the thought of eating made her stomach violently turn over and mutter obscenities at her brain.

 

She pushed the bowl away shaking her head. Kenshin, who'd been watching her from under his bangs, immediately pushed it back towards her.

 

“Please try, Kaoru,” he said almost in a whisper, “try just a little. For me?”

 

He had to go and say that, she thought rebelliously, even as she lifted the spoon. How does he know that I'd do anything for him?

 

Kenshin now watched her openly, waiting for any signals that the breakfast was not agreeing with her. She looked wonderful in the morning light, even though she obviously felt the antithesis of such. Her disheveled hair made his fingers itch at his side; their desire to smooth her hair out was something he would have to work on. Her cheeks were flushed with fever and there were dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep; however, it all made her seem more beautiful to Kenshin. It brought all his protective and possessive instincts right to the surface, where they battled his consciousness for control of his body. He was fairly sure Kaoru would be averse to his desire to carry her everywhere she needed to go in her modest apartment.

 

Kaoru took eight tiny bites of her oatmeal before pushing it away. She bit her lip for a moment before picking out the strawberry and taking tiny bites from it. Kenshin decided this would be an excellent time to distract himself from her lips, so he caught her eyes and said, “I hope you don't mind, but I called the school and told them you would were sick and would not be present today.”

 

Kaoru forgot the strawberry in hand as she was caught between annoyance and thankfulness. She took a quick glance at the clock and decided to shove away annoyance and simply be thankful. She had slept very late. “Thanks,” she whispered, her voice rough. He only nodded and stood to pick up her bowl. She studied him from under her eyelashes as he moved to throw the oatmeal away and quickly wash the dishes. He was still dressed in his sleep attire: black pajama pants and oversized gray T-shirt. His long hair was unbound and fell elegantly down his back in wave after fiery wave. She eyed that hair with envy; she would gladly inflict bodily pain to have the same hair.

 

He finished the dishes quickly enough and turned back, eyeing her condition critically. “You'll feel ten times better after a bath,” he informed her softly, though his eyes clearly told her it was a command. She could not find the energy to argue. I really am sick, she thought to herself as she rose with a sigh.

 

Before locking herself in the bathroom, she turned back to him. “Sano said that he might drop by sometime today. Probably right before lunch, stupid freeloader. Just wanted to warn you.”

 

He couldn't resist a chuckle as she disappeared and the bathroom door clicked shut. It was so good to be back home. However, the very thought of why he'd been away quickly pulled the smile from his face. He shook his head harshly; dwelling on it would only be painful, and not very productive. He searched his mind for a chore to do. He had some washing and he was sure Kaoru probably had some dirty clothes. Yes, laundry would be just the thing.

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

Just as Kaoru had warned, the bell rang at roughly 11:30, just as Kenshin was considering what he could make that wouldn't upset Kaoru's stomach. She'd retreated to bedroom directly after her bath. When he'd last peeked in on her, she was sleeping peacefully. He smiled wryly as the bell rang again.

 

Kenshin moved to the intercom and pressed the talk button. “Can I help you?”

 

“Damnit Jou-chan…wait a sec. You're not Jou-chan.”

 

“No, Sanosuke Sagara, I'm not.”

 

“Kenshin? Is that you?”

 

“And who else would it be?”

 

“Let me up, damnit!”

 

Kenshin grinned and pressed the button that would allow Sano into the building. Three seconds later, despite the fact that Kaoru's apartment was at the end of the second floor, Sano was at the door. Kenshin opened the door smiling, and so was completely off guard when Sano's fist connected with his face. From his position on the floor, Kenshin looked up with confusion.

 

“That was for leaving with no goodbye.”

 

The tall man offered Kenshin a hand up, and then immediately punched him again. Kenshin sputtered with indignation and rose on his own power.

 

“And that,” said Sano with a growl, “was for making Jou-chan miserable.”

 

Kenshin's indignation melted into sadness and obvious guilt. Sano tromped past him into the kitchen.

 

“So,” he said, settling in a chair, “what's for lunch?”

 

“Tomato soup,” Kenshin said softly, battling between anger and depression. Anger backed away, somewhat satisfied, when Sano's face fell.

 

“That's it?”

 

“You should be glad you're getting anything.”

 

Sano frowned at the terse sound of Kenshin's voice. The red-haired man's demeanor had never been so cold before.

 

“What's up, Kenshin?”

 

The shorter man winced. He'd forgotten how perceptive Sano could be when the ruffian put his mind to it. He began studying Sano from under his bangs, wondering exactly how much he could divulge to the younger man before he scared him away entirely.

 

“I'm fine, Sano,” he finally mumbled.

 

“Bullshit you are, but I'll keep my mouth shut for now.”

 

“You couldn't keep your Goddamned voice down could you, Sano?”

 

They both whirled at Kaoru's voice, somewhat rough and sounding a great deal like the rumble of a slumbering dragon ever so rudely awakened. She stood in the entrance to the kitchen, clutching the blanket she'd dragged along with her and rubbing her eyes. Sano immediately burst into laughter at the picture she made: something that resembled a five-year old child in a 22-year old woman's body.

 

She growled audibly before shuffling into the kitchen. Kenshin managed not to laugh with Sano, but he couldn't help smiling a little. He turned into the kitchen and began readying a can of Campbell's.

 

“So what chewed you up, spit you out, and dragged you back home by your tail, Jou-chan?”

 

Kaoru mumbled something that distinctly sounded like “I'll drag you, you goddamned rooster” but refused to answer him.

 

“Kaoru is sick,” Kenshin said simply. He could still see the shine in her eyes that indicated fever, though she seemed to be feeling better.

 

“Oh? That sucks. I wanted to take you guys out tonight to celebrate.”

 

“Celebrate what?” Kaoru grumbled, pulling her blanket around her shoulders.

 

“Kenshin's return, of course.”

 

Kaoru only growled and pulled her knees to her chest. Kenshin rather thought she was acting like a bear just out of hibernation, but found that he couldn't blame her.

 

“Ah well,” said Sano, leaning back dangerously in his chair. “Since we have to wait a couple of days, that means that kitsune and weasel and Aoshi will probably be back by the time we get to go out.”

 

Kenshin finished warming the soup and divided it equally into three bowls. He found oregano in Kaoru's spice rack. The bottle had never been opened and was roughly two years old. He grimaced before opening it and sprinkling some into each bowl. He set the soup out on the table, where Sano quickly tucked in and Kaoru sipped hesitatingly.

 

“Are you up for toast, Kaoru? Or do you think that that will be too much?”

 

She seemed to consider for a moment before saying, “I'd better just stick to this.”

 

Kenshin nodded in understanding and sat down to join them. The moment Sano finished his soup, he left. “Would've liked to talk with you more, Kenshin, but I got stuff to do.”

 

“The hell you do,” Kaoru called after him. “You just don't want to do any chores to pay off the meal.”

 

Kenshin did the dishes quickly, Kaoru watching him from her chair at the table. When he'd finished, she said quietly, “Do you want to watch a movie?”

 

He'd nodded and offered her a hand up. She took it and leaned against him as they walked into the living room. Kaoru sat on the couch as Kenshin drew the blinds and started up the TV and DVD player. “What would you like to watch?”

 

“Have you seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies?” Kenshin shook his head. “Then let's watch Fellowship of the Ring. I've even got the extended version.”

 

He found the DVD with little difficulty and wondered what he was getting himself into when he saw that it was two discs long. He popped the movie in and sat next to Kaoru on the couch. Unthinking, she leaned into him until the only way for them both to get comfortable was for him to put his arm around her. She snuggled into the hollow his body made and took in the warmth he exuded. His arm tightened reflexively as he felt her pull closer. Again, thoughts of kissing her floated to the surface, but he knew she was still sick. Shaking his head, he concentrated on the movie and watched as the Last Alliance made a desperate attempt to overthrow Sauron.

 

“Kenshin?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Are you glad to be home?”

 

He looked down at her and found she had fixed him with eyes that were almost fearful. He wanted nothing more than to make that fear dissipate. Unable to do anything else, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

 

“I'm very glad, Kaoru.”

 

They watched the rest of the movie in silence.

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

Kenshin's eyes opened hesitantly and widened when he found himself surrounded by desert. The last thing he remembered was Aragorn beheading the Uruk-hai. Kaoru had fallen asleep shortly after the Fellowship left Rivendell. I'm dreaming, he thought fuzzily. Unsure what to do, he began moving forward.

 

He was dressed for undercover work, white robes wrapped around his body and hiding everything but his eyes. His swords were a comforting and hidden weight at his hip. There was a hut ahead of him. He slowed, and knew in a moment that he recognized the hut. He did not want to go there. He needed to get away.

 

Kenshin tried to make himself turn away but found he could not. He no longer had control of his body, was now merely an observer. He could not even close his eyes as he opened the door, found the man who was his target. Blood sprayed into the air and the memory pushed forward determinedly. His sword moved almost faster than his eyes could follow, cleaving through flesh and bone as easily as if they were paper. The man fell in two strokes, both scored across his stomach. Kenshin turned his back on the man, intent on finishing this latest assignment in hell. That had been his mistake.

 

Though gravely wounded, the man drew a scimitar and rose, nearly silent save for his labored breathing. Kenshin sensed the intent to kill only just in time, turning and blocking the sword with automatic reflexes as his mind screamed. Too close. Far too close. The other man's blade skimmed across his cheek, cutting from cheekbone to chin in a precise line. Two more thrusts and the man was nearly finished. Kenshin raised his sword for the final blow and struck as a scream echoed through the small hut. The voice was not a man's.

 

Burning amber eyes widened in horror as his blade made the kill, carving through the woman who'd thrown herself in front of the man and killing the man as well. His sword fell from numb fingers as blood spread across the floor, washing over his shoes and the edges of his robes, dying them an accusatory crimson. His wife, his mind murmured bleakly, he had a wife.

 

With unfeeling limbs, Kenshin knelt next to the woman, his blood-covered fingers skimming over her cheek as tears slowly began to roll down his face. What have I become? his broken mind whispered. What have I become?

 

As he moved to cradle the woman's dying body, her face slowly changed, became whiter. The hair that had been tied under a veil tumbled loose in long black waves he knew all too well. Her eyes flickered open as one of his tears landed on her cheek. Blue eyes. A face he knew…a woman he loved.

 

The woman coughed, blood spilling from her mouth onto his sleeve. His hand shook as he brushed her hair out of her face. Accusing blue eyes met his. A shaking arm rose and he saw the glint of metal too late. The blade scored across his cheek, crossing over the mark her husband had managed to land. Once the mark was made, she dropped the knife from her weakening fingers. She tried to say something, but could not. Her eyes glazed and her last breath fled her body like a single bird, ascending away from this cursed place.

 

“Kaoru…” he whispered, tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

Kaoru had woken as Kenshin began thrashing next to her. The TV showed the screensaver of the DVD player. It occurred to her that they had both fallen asleep as she turned towards the whimpering man beside her. His eyes were still closed, though they flickered beneath the lids. He was obviously having nightmares.

 

Kaoru gently touched the side of his face, drawing her fingers over the bright scar on his cheek. He jerked at her touch, but remained sleeping. She shifted onto her knees so she could face him more fully. Almost fearfully, she took his face in her hands and began calling to him. “Kenshin. Kenshin. You need to wake up.”

 

She had not really expected him to wake, and was quite surprised when his eyes snapped open. In the dim light of the living room, they burned through the darkness. She could see the amber then, more clearly than she'd ever seen it before. The bright color hugged his pupils like miniature suns.

 

“Kaoru?” he whispered, hand going to her cheek as his eyes sought her out. His touch wavered against her skin as though he feared she would disappear from under his very nose. She nodded gently to reassure him.

 

“It's OK, Kenshin. It was just a dream.”

 

He seemed uncomprehending, running his fingers over her cheekbone again and again. Quite suddenly, his arms slid around her waist and he pulled her tightly against him. Kaoru gasped at the suddenness, wondering what exactly he'd dreamed to make him act like this. Slowly, realizing he wouldn't be letting go for a while, she slid her arms around his neck and whispered comforting words in his ear.

 

His breathing was shuddering and painful. He turned his face in towards her, burrowing into the hollow between her jaw bone and shoulder. The first feeling she registered was the press of his lips against her pulse, but then she felt hot moisture on his cheek. He was crying. Her whispers became more insistent as he quietly sobbed. One of her hands started stroking through his hair, seeking to offer comfort in any way she could think of.

 

Neither Kenshin nor Kaoru had any idea how long they stayed there, with her in his lap offering kindness he felt he didn't deserve and he clinging to her and letting some of the pain in his soul show through. Finally, his sobs abated and his breath evened out. He did not want to relinquish his hold on her, but he knew that her legs had to be cramping painfully by now. Gently, he pushed her away.

 

When her cobalt eyes met his, she nearly took his breath away. Her eyes, which he could vividly remember as being alive and joyous, even during her hard times, were dull with sadness. Alongside the sadness though, there shone compassion, such compassion for the likes of him. His hands on her shoulders trembled as he fought the need to pull her back to him and assure himself that she was real, was here with him.

 

“Kenshin?”

 

“I…” He found he could not dredge up anything to say to her that would not make him lose the tiny bit of control he'd managed to regain.

 

She smiled gently at him, though the emotion did not reach her eyes. Her fingers traced his cheekbones and jaw line with feather soft touches. “I understand, Kenshin,” she whispered. “You'll tell me when you're ready.”

 

He could not take it anymore. All the pain, all the love, every tiny shard of his soul that he'd tried to tuck away and hide from her spilled out in a single instant. He pulled her back to him with nearly crushing force, kissing her for all he was worth. He told her everything into that kiss. All the sorrow, guilt, and hopelessness he felt was pushed upon Kaoru in the insistent press of his lips against hers. For her part, she melded to him, taking what he gave her despite the fact that it was rough and hungry and needy. She understood that need just as much as he did, and so acquiesced.

 

When he sensed she could not longer breathe, he pulled back an inch so that he could study her eyes and press his forehead to hers. She was still giving him that same look of compassion and sorrow and it nearly undid him.

 

“I'm sorry, Kaoru.”

 

She blinked for a moment, trying to overcome her mangled thoughts to reply to him. After a moment, words came. “Don't you dare be sorry,” she whispered hoarsely.

 

Kenshin blinked for a moment, trying to process what she had just said. He opened his mouth to say something, but she pressed her fingers to his lips, immediately quieting him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all. I…I needed that too.”

 

Kenshin had to blink several more times before he understood the full meaning of her words. By the time he had, she had turned the color of a ripe tomato. A blush also rose on his cheeks. Kaoru slowly moved her fingers from his lips as she saw his comprehension.

 

“You're not angry?”

 

She nearly snorted, but managed to restrain herself. “No, Kenshin. I'm really not.”

Kenshin's eyes dropped beneath the curtain of his bangs, and Kaoru leaned forward, trying to understand the unspoken heaviness between them. So much had happened, but through all her pain she still loved him and wanted to see a smile finally reach his eyes. “Kenshin?” she ventured softly.

 

She did not expect him to kiss her again. Her eyes widened with surprise as she caught that vivid gold again. This time, his lips lingered, moving over hers at a leisurely pace that stated he felt he had all the time in the world. When his tongue tapped against her lips asking for entrance, she couldn't help but comply. Gently, they explored each other, each unsure of the other's feelings.

 

Kaoru was very afraid that she was still ill and this was a fever-induced dream. And if it was not a dream, what was it? She would give almost anything to know what he had dreamed so she could better understand this completely unfamiliar action from him. At the same time, she couldn't help but wonder if he was acting in the heat of the moment and she just happened to be the convenient female in arm's reach.

 

Kenshin was slowly coming to terms with his thoughts. His instinctual urges were gradually being quelled as the softer kiss allowed him room to think. This is a mistake. I shouldn't…she deserves so much more. God, I'm an idiot. I can't do this to her.

Oh so gently, he pulled away from her, nibbling her bottom lip delicately before completely relinquishing her mouth. Her face was flushed, whether with fever or need he didn't know and he didn't want to find the answer out the hard way. He worked to control his breathing as her eyes fluttered open.

 

With utter care, he took her waist and shifted her away from his body. He stood without a word and started down the hallway, his ethereal grace more evident now that his defenses were down.

 

“Kenshin?” Her voice was soft and breathy as she tried to understand what had just happened. He halted in response to her voice, casting a quick glance over his shoulder. His golden eyes seemed to glow in the half-light of the evening.

 

“Good night, Kaoru.” His voice had become rough and low, sending a shiver down her spine. He left her there on the couch, looking utterly enticing. Another moment of being in her presence might have broken the precious thread of control he still held. Once that had snapped, he could not guarantee his actions.

 

A/N: Lord of the Rings also does not belong to me. I know already told everyone that this story is based in the US, however the use of Sano's nickname for Kaoru, “Jou-chan,” seems far more natural to me than “Little Missy” as the dub puts it. I'm not from the South so it sounds odd to me. Thus I elected to keep the Japanese nickname. Other notes. I know this chapter was incredibly short, but that was just the best place to end it. The next sequence of events would have seemed odd when paired with this. However, the good news is that the next chapter should be out in less than a week. It's nearly finished. This chapter was put through major rewrite as is and I'm still not quite comfortable with the feel of it. Thank you for reading. Commentary would be greatly appreciated.

 

“Hate War, Love the…Warrior.” -Lt. Gen. Harold Moore