Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Second Most Nerve-Wracking Day Of My Life ❯ Souzou's Thoughts And Fears ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The Second Most Nerve-Wracking Day of My Life

A Romantic Comedy by: Serenity-chan

POV = * *
Thoughts = ' '
Speaking = " " (Did I really need to say that?)

Chapter 3
(Or "Souzou's Thoughts And Fears")

*Souzou*

It wasn't near time to leave yet, so with nothing to occupy my mind, I started to stress again. I couldn't sit still for even one or two minutes. I kept shifting nervously. In fact, the only reason I was sitting at all was that Touya and Kyo got sick of watching me pace around the room. So the two of them had taken hold of my arms and forced me to sit down. I hated to admit it, but as a team those two were invincible.

"You really need to relax or you're going to hurt yourself," said Reichi, who was currently trying to make his hair lie flat. "If you don't hurt yourself, they will..."

Kyo rolled his eyes. Touya was asleep and leaning against a wall for support. Reichi gave up on his hair, which stubbornly remained in the usual wild brown spikes. Soon slight snoring made it obvious that Kyo had gone to sleep too.

Reichi, his hair wild as ever, came and sat in front of me with an expression of concern on his face. I was a tiny bit relieved that Touya and Kyo were sleeping. They were among my closest friends, but they wouldn't understand my problem. Two very hyperactive seventeen-year-olds were not who I needed to talk to about... that...

"Seriously, you need to calm down," Reichi said firmly, his voice pulling me from my thoughts.

"Well how nervous were you before your wedding?" I asked. "And don't you dare tell me you weren't!"

"You were there," he answered, raising one eyebrow at me. "What do you think!?"

I was able to relax enough to laugh at the memory.

"At least I'm not talking to myself," I shot back.

"Yet," he added. "If you're this worked up when it's more than two hours away, I'm surprised you're not sick!"

My stomach turned again and I reeled back slightly.

"Been down that road already," I said painfully. "Twice."

Reichi gave me a sympathetic look.

"Do you think it would help if you told me exactly what's bothering you?" he asked. "I mean, I can tell this is more than just strained nerves. We've known each other for more than sixteen years, Souzou. You trying to hide something this big from me is likely to work as well as trying to use a hammer where you need a saw. It's impossible. Now tell me what's wrong."

Reichi really was my best friend. I could tell him absolutely anything without fear of judgment. And since he found out that Sadako was expecting a baby, he had become much more serious. That's not to say he had lost his sense of humor entirely, though...

"Yeah, something's bothering me," I said, staring aimlessly at the wall. "You could say that..."

"Well what is it?" he persisted. "You really don't look too good."

I still couldn't meet my best friend's eyes.

"I don't really know what it is," I said slowly. "But I sort of feel like I'm lost. I don't really know what to expect from here on out."

Concern and empathy were obvious in Reichi's expression.

"I felt lost too," he said quietly. "But don't worry. It'll be alright, Souzou."

I sighed and leaned back against the wall, just closing my eyes for a moment. A decent rest was what I needed right now. But no, Reichi gave my shoulder a push, bringing me back to reality with a harsh jolt.

"That was just cruel," I said, shaking my head.

Reichi rolled his eyes.

"Just being cruel to be kind," he said with a shrug. "You can't go to sleep because those two are asleep."

He gestured over his shoulder at the two seventeen-year-olds who were currently sound asleep.

"And you know as well as I do that if you go to sleep," he continued. "You won't wake up in time."

I sighed in defeat. There was no way to argue with that one. Still I opened my mouth to try. Reichi just shook his head, effectively cutting me off.

"You're getting entirely too predictable, Souzou," he said in mock exasperation.

I was about to shoot out a comeback when my front door banged open. Touya jerked awake and fell over. Reichi looked on in mild amusement, shaking his head at our still-half-asleep friend. I was too nervous to think anything was funny at that point.

"Did I miss anything?" asked Touya, barely catching a yawn in his throat. "What's going on?"

Reichi and I shook our heads. Touya looked around and finally saw Kyo, still soundly asleep. With a disgusted sigh, he hauled Kyo up by the back of his shirt. Kyo just glared at him.

Ignoring the peanut gallery, I went to see why my front door had been opened and what all the noise was about. I had a serious headache and the last thing I needed was anything loud. To my surprise and relief, I saw my father in my front hallway. For the first time today, despite the pounding of blood in my head, I smiled. A real smile.

"Well aren't you going to say anything?" he asked with a laugh. "I know you can't wait for tonight, but save the fantasizing for later."

I felt my face turn red and my jaw dropped at my father's joke. He laughed, pleased with himself at having finally got a joke on me instead of the other way around. Then he went in to where Touya, Reichi and Kyo were supposed to be getting ready. Somehow, from the string of swear words they were having trouble with something. My headache was worse than ever and I leaned against the wall, covering my eyes with one hand. In a few seconds, I felt my father's hand ruffling my hair. I assumed it was to make amends for the joke. Anyway, it had always been a gesture of affection in our family.

It was funny, really... I had never really noticed before how much my reactions and personality had changed over time. When I was very young, my father was everything to me. He was my hero as soon as I knew what one was. Back then, I always laughed when he ruffled my hair. Only a few years later, as I became more independent, I started playfully pushing his hand away. By the time I was twelve, when I said, more like whined, "Ah, quit it, Dad" I meant it. When I was around sixteen, wild as fire and always in trouble, I began to miss being close to him. It seemed like we never talked anymore. And at eighteen, I knew he would never be the same after Reika died.

I reeled unsteadily for a moment, having just watched most of my life replayed in the span of a few minutes. When everything cleared up and started coming back into focus, I tried to think about what had just happened. My thoughts were cut short and I sort of jumped when my father put a hand on my shoulder. He gestured toward the front door, wordlessly telling me to follow Reichi. I assumed he would be dealing with Touya and Kyo, but I wasn't worried. They had known me almost as long as Reichi, so my father was like a second father to Touya and a father-figure for Kyo.

"Come on, Souzou," my father said quietly, the laughter and joking gone from his voice, sounding a little sad. "It's time to go. And stop worrying. If you think this is stressful, wait until she's carrying your child... Trust me... Now let's go."

As my father practically dragged me out of the house to the carriage, my face paled and my heart stopped for a moment. I could barely remember what my mother was like before she had Reika. And from what Reichi said about dealing with Sadako, it was chaos. My mind blanked out for a second when I fully comprehended the words. Was I ready to be a father?

From that moment until I was standing at the altar, waiting for my bride, I sank into thought and could remember nothing. I knew Midori would be a wonderful mother, being so sweet and caring... But me, I just wasn't sure if I could do it... Yes, I think my mind switched off at that point.