Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ One Shot Heaven ❯ My December ( Chapter 9 )

The male moved solemnly through the halls. For so long, there had been no laughter to brighten them. They were now dark, dreary and cold. He had destroyed the laughter. His claws still held the taint of her blood after centuries had passed. His mind was empty but for images of her and her mother.

This is my December

Turning, he moved to her room. He had refused to let anyone touch it. It remained as it had been. Pausing by the door, heard the ghost of her voice calling to him. "Father!" Shaking his head, he opened the door and stepped in. His gaze immediately turned to the dark stain on the floor/ Forcing his eyes away, he went to the window and looked out at the snow on the ground.

This is my time of the year

Shad loved the snow. On the first snowfall she would run out and stand looking up at the sky, her mouth open and ready to catch the snowflakes as they fell. Often, she would fall back and wave her arms and legs like her mother had shown her and make and angel in the snow. She even carried on the ritual of making balls with the snow and throwing them at Jaken and himself. He often played with her, being careful to never hurt her.

This is my December

But then Naraku had tainted her. He had thought she had been safe. They had both mourned the loss of her mother. With him it had been hidden. His love was secret because his brother had loved her first. He had just begun to court her. Then Naraku had taken her. He had touched Rin too. He watched as his daughter had become distant and revert to how she had been before. He had tried to save her. Then she had killed them all. He couldn't let her live for her act of treason.

This is all so clear

And yet she hadn't been evil. She hadn't known what she was doing. He had taken an innocent life. She had left him alone without a soul to care for him. Her memories came to him throughout the years, never fading. He had destroyed that.

This is my December

He turned and left the room. He moved slowly to the garden as though his burdens were too great for him to bear. He spent his winters here in his empty home. It was no longer home though. It was just a building. The youkai was fading. He had begun readying for a future of humans. He paused by his study and pulled a small book out of a hidden compartment in his desk. He had discovered it on Rin's bed. It had been her diary.

This is my snow covered home
This is my December

As he entered the gardens, he stumbled against the bright sun. Pausing to shade his eyes, he moved to a bench nearby. Settling on it, he opened the book. Her writing filled the pages. A sad smile often appeared on his face. The pages were never the same each time he opened the book. The stories were always different. As he turned a page, he caught sight of three large words. "I AM ALONE." He bowed his head. Now he was alone as well. It was the consequence for his crimes against Rin.

This is me alone
And I, just wished that I didn't feel like there was something I missed

The book fell to the ground with a thud, sinking a little into the snow. The page began to get wet. What had he done to make her feel so alone? Why hadn't he done something more? He had Naraku in her and nothing more. He had isolated her with guard all the time. It hadn't been to protect her but to watch her because he had been suspicious.

And I, take back all the things I said to make you feel like that

He had spoken cruelly to her. He had acted as though she were Naraku. She had been a prisoner in her own home. His love had ceased as though she hadn't mattered. The words screamed inside his mind, but he couldn't say them. Standing, he lifted the book into his hands and gently tucked it inside his kimono.

And I, just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed
And I, take back all the things that I said to you

Striding through the gardens, he entered Rin's garden. This place was untouched by winter. He had ensured long before he had killed her. This had been her place. This is where her grave was. He moved to the small bridge that led to the island where her grave was. Kneeling on the bridge, his gaze stared into the water. This had been one of her favorite spots. His gaze traced the paper flowers that still shimmered with her power. "How?" His voice was nothing more than a whisper.

And I, give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to

The wind began to blow around him, stirring the water. Her face appeared briefly. Behind her was a landscape that seemed like heaven. A longing filled him to be there with her. Perhaps that is where she had gone and she was merely waiting for him to find her.

Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

He remembered coming back to this place when it had been a home. She had always been there to greet him. When Jaken had been there to welcome him. She would tell him everything that had happened while he had been away. Now there was none of that. He was a rich recluse. No one ever bothered him.

This is my December
These are my snow-covered trees

As her image appeared more solidly in the water, he slapped it angrily. She had betrayed him. She had destroyed all those he cared most about. It was that simple. She had deserved her death. Standing, he stormed out of her garden and headed back to work.

Later that night, he stood by his window and stared out at his lands angrily. The snow made everything almost ethereal in the moonlight. This was his heritage and home. Nothing would still the pride her felt for it.

This is me pretending
This is all I need

His mind brought forth Rin's image once more. No, the child had been nothing more than a nuisance. She had kept him often from his duties and his land. She had been nothing more than a pet that had amused while she had been young. She had only been human after all. He could never feel anything close to family ties with a human. He turned and laid down, drifting into sleep. For the first time in a very long time, he dreamed that night.

And I, just wished that I didn't feel like there was something I missed
And I, take back all the things I said to make you feel like that

He was in that place. Moving through the strange and yet familiar halls of his house, he heard laughter and peace. It was like this was his home and that it had fled with Rin when she had died. Peace filled him. Moving away from the interior, he went outside. Everything was far different from his world. Even the snow seemed joyful and full of life. Someone darted past him down a corridor. He thought he saw Rin's precious mother. There was no one. He wished he could ask forgiveness from them.

And I, just wished that I didn't feel like there was something I missed
And I, take back all the things that I said to you

He found himself a little bit later in Rin's garden. He blinked in surprise. She was playing with a fox and a white dog. She paused and turned toward him, as though she had felt his entrance into her world. "Father, you're here finally!" "No Rin. He is only here for a little while." He turned, looking for the voice but there was no one around. As he looked back at Rin, he saw her face sadden. She ran forward to him and hugged him tightly around his legs. "We missed you Father." He kneeled. "Who is we and how could you have missed me after what I did to you?" Rin smiled. "It's mother. As for the second part, I forgave you." He dropped his chin. "I don't deserve it."

And I, give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Rin touched his cheek. "You did good Father. You have always done good." The voice came again. "He must go now Rin." He rose and fiercely shook his head. "No, I wish to stay." Rin smiled sadly and tugged him back onto his knees. "You can't father. It isn't your time, and this isn't your place. Your people need you." He grabbed hold of his daughter and held her tightly in a hug. "I won't leave you again Rin." He wanted to stay in this warmth. He watched as a wind pulled Rin from his arms. The voice whispered in his ear. "You must. It is not your time my love." He found himself fading.

This is my December
This is my time of the year

He woke feeling icy cold. His hands clenched causing his claws to dig in. They had sent him away. He rolled and felt Rin's book digging into his ribs. Pulling it out, he opened it and saw a faint image of a gate. His head turned to the window as he heard the wind outside. A snowstorm was raging.

This is my December
This is all so clear

His head sank back against his pillow. That place wasn't for him. Rin had said that to him. This was his place. The world was his prison and he would remain here always in the cold and darkness. He would never be able to go there. A single tear slipped from his left eye.

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Sliding out of bed, he moved to the window and opened it. Stepping out on to the balcony, he breathed in the cold air. The snowflakes stung his skin. It didn't bother him though. He felt numb to the cold, the hurt and the pain. It seemed almost as though the storm was calling out to him to give it his soul.

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

A sudden wind ripped the snow away from him and pushed him back toward his room. Warmth filled him and he felt alive once more. Laughter filled him. It was as though he was back in that place. He smelled Rin's scent. He also smelt the scent of Rin's mother in it. Her voice whispered through him. "Soon my love... My Sesshomaru... Soon..." Then the cold was back. Sesshomaru stepped back inside, still feeling the warmth. A rare and beautiful smile appeared on his face. "Thank you, my love. Thank you, my Kagome."