Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Grail?!? ❯ Ni! ( Chapter 9 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

A Grail?!?
A Sailor Moon/Monty Python crossover/parody... thingy.
By Jason C. Ulloa

Disclaimer thingy: Sailor Moon - not mine. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - not mine. They belong to those people/companies
to whom they belong to... or, something like that. The character, Kino Ryoku/Sailor Knight, however, is mine. All mine.
If you use him without my permission, I'll sic him, the rest of the Sailor Senshi, the Knights of Nee, and Ronald, the
Amazing Dust Bunny, after you. So, there.

Be afraid.... Be very afraid.


-------------------------------------------------


Chapter 9: Ni!








We apologize for the fault in the
last chapter. Those responsible have
been sent back into the story.









Hëlp! I'm bëing førcëd to speäk in fäke Svedïsh and wryte stupïd subtïtles før an insäne fänfïktiøn wryter! Sømebodi hëlp
më! Hë....
___________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________








*WHAM!*









*WÄM!*
_______________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ________








We apologize for the return of the faults in the subtitles.
Those responsible for sacking the people who have sacked the
people who have sacked the people who have....

Oh, hell with it. Everyone has now just been sacked.

Including me.

The producer, who has also just been sacked, wishes it to be
known that although everyone has now been sacked, the remainder
of this movie will be completed, even if the job of writing the
rest of this movie has to be given to ten monkeys writing on
ten typewriters.









_____________ ___________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________


{The scene changes to a room with ten monkeys typing furiously at ten typewriters.}

Narrator:
[Voice-over] And so, even though I have been sacked, the story continues.


-------------------------------------------------< br>

{AO;-)Ssd KJionandg AWrrthkuar abjndas rtyhe SAsaiiiol,;ore ASwermnsahi rewoisdew thhrehw rerthew ffsoerewast....}


-------------------------------------------- -----


Monkeys:
[While typing and scratching itself in the head] Eeek! Eeeeaaa!

{One monkey pulls out a sheet of paper, crumples it, then throws it at another monkey. That monkey, in turn, crumples a
piece of paper and throws it back, but hits a different monkey. Then that monkey does the same and so on, until a full-blown
crumpled paper fight ensues.}


____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________









On second thought, nix the monkeys.
Perhaps if we used ten bunnies....

*WHAM!*

....ouchie....

*thud*







*WÄM!* Øw! Whät did yøu hït më før?!?
_________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________










Just making sure.









Yøu faakyng bästärd.
____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________










*WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!*









................... ...........øwïe....
_______________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ________










^_____^










_________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ______________________










We apologize for the fault in the
fanfiction. The original author and
cast members have been reinstated.
The ten monkeys have just been sacked.









__________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________


{The scene cuts to the author reading the above section of this chapter.}

Jason:
[Shakes his head and sighs] Who the hell came up with that stupid notion about ten monkeys and ten typewriters and a
work of Shakespear? Or something like that. [Shakes his head] Gah! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'd better get to work fixing
this....

{As the author types away at his laptop, a pair of eyes watches from the shadows... until someone turned on the light
switch.)

Jason:
[As he turns around] Hey, thanks.... [Points angrily] YOU!

Chibiusa:
[Jumps] Kyaa!

Man:
[Glances down at Chibiusa] Hmm? Who's the kid with the pink hair?

Chibiusa:
[Starts to run away] Damn, I didn't think he'd see me so soon....

Man:
[Blinks] Did I just say 'pink' hair? [Glances at Jason] Hey Ulloa, you writing your stories again?

Jason:
[Laughs sheepishly] How'd you guess?

Man:
[Turns to leave] Just try to keep the fiction as fiction, all right? We don't want another EVA or Gundam or Labor or
any other large mecha wrecking the place like last time. You're lucky we let you use your reality-warping laptop in the
shop, anyway.

Jason:
[Sighs] Yeah, yeah, I know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a Rabbit to catch.

Man:
[Watches as Jason locks his laptop and chases after Chibiusa] At least it's not Pokémon again. [Sighs and walks out]


-------------------------------------------------

{After leaving the hut from the previous scene, the group found themselves traveling through a dark forest. The trees were
so densely packed together that very little sunlight was actually making it through the treetops. Still, there was enough
light to travel by.}

Sailor Mars:
So, why are we traveling through this forest again?

Sir Bedevere:
Because the people of the village we passed a few hours ago told us that the enchanter could be found if we travel
through these woods.

Sailor Mars:
[Flatly] I hope so. If we don't start making some real progress toward finding the Holy Grail, I'm going to have to
give Jason-san one of my Fire Souls. Or maybe a Flare Sniper to be completely sure.

Sailor Moon:
[Glances around the woods] I just hope we get out of these woods soon. I'm getting a bad feeling about this place.

Sailor Mars:
[Frowns] Don't tell me your scared, Usagi....

Sailor Moon:
[Upset] I'm not! But, I'm still getting a bad feeling about this place....

{As the group went further into the forest, Sailor Moon's bad feeling soon began to spread to the others. The further into
the forest they traveled, the more uneasy every began to feel. King Arthur and Sailor Moon began to frantically glance about
as if watching for something to leap out at them, while Sir Bedevere and Mars did the same, but less noticeably. Pluto
appeared to remain calm, but her eyes darted back and forth, watching intently. There were figures moving through the woods.
Tall, giant figures. Suddenly, everyone halted in surprise as a twelve foot tall giant knight appeared in front of them. In
the woods behind him, several other knights were hiding, only letting their heads show.}

Head knight:
Ni!

Other knights:
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

King Arthur:
[Warily] Who are you?

Head Knight:
We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!

A random knight:
Ni!

King Arthur:
[Frightened] No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!

Head Knight:
The same!

Sailor Mars:
[Raising an eyebrow and glancing toward the other Senshi] Ni?

Sir Bedevere:
Who are they?

Head Knight:
We are the keepers of the three sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neeewom'!

A random knight:
Neeewom!

Sailor Pluto:
[Also glancing toward the other Senshi] Peng?

Sailor Moon:
[Also glancing toward the other Senshi] Neeewom?

King Arthur:
[Warningly] Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale.

Sailor Mars:
[Skeptically] What? From 'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neeewom'? What kind of sacred words are those? They sound stupid!

Head Knight:
[Angry] How dare you mock the three sacred words of the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!

A random knight:
Nee!

Head Knight:
[Turns toward the knight] No, no. The word's 'Ni'.

A random knight:
I like 'Nee' better.

Head Knight:
But the word's spelled 'Ni'.

A random knight:
[Points at the Disclaimer thingy] But the author spelled the word 'Nee'. See? Nee!

Head Knight:
[Frowns angrily] Well, the author is wrong! The word is 'Ni'! 'Ni', I say! Ni!!!

A random knight:
[Stubbornly] Nee!

Head Knight:
[Furiously] Ni! [Points] Look! Even the name of this chapter is spelled 'Ni'! Ni!!!

A random knight:
That could be a mistake. Nee!!!

Head Knight:
[Insistantly] There is no mistake! Ni!!!

{A sign appears with the words "Actually, it is 'Ni', but I'm too lazy to fix it on all of my chapters," on it.}

Sailor Mars:
[Rolling her eyes in exasperation] Figures....

Sailor Moon:
[Bringing out her attack rod and starts to perform her attack] Moon gorgeous meditation!

A random knight:
[Attack hits knight, destroying him] Nee!!!

Sailor Moon:
[Scratching her head] Eh? [To Mars] Wasn't he supposed to say 'stage out'?

Sailor Mars:
I think that was only with the Lemures..

Sailor Moon:
Oh.

Sailor Pluto:
[Flatly] Don't you think that was a little bit extreme?

Sailor Moon:
Do you want to say in this story any longer than necessary, Setsuna-san?

Sailor Pluto:
[Considering] ...never mind.

Head Knight/Random knights/King Arthur/Sir Bedevere:
[Sweatdrops] ....

Head Knight:
[To the other knights] Do any more of you prefer the spelling 'Nee'?

Random knights:
....

Head Knight:
[Nods in satisfaction] Good. [Turns to the others] The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice.

King Arthur:
[Reverent] Knights of Ni, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

Head Knight:
Ni!

Random knights:
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

King Arthur/Sir Bedevere:
[Wincing] Ow! Ow! Aagh!

Sailor Moon/Mars/Pluto:
[Blinks and sweatdrops] ....

Head Knight:
We shall say 'Ni' again to you if you do not appease us.

Sailor Mars:
[Confused] What was that?!? How could someone saying 'Ni' hurt?

King Arthur:
I don't understand, either. We're just going along with what the script says.

Sailor Mars:
[Sighs] Damn script. Damn story. [Brandishing a fist skyward] Damn you, Jason-san!!!

Sailor Moon:
[Dryly] Are you finished?

Sailor Mars:
[Flatly] Shut up.

King Arthur:
[To Knights] Well, what is it you want?

Head Knight:
We want... [Dramatic pause] ...a shrubbery!

{The sound of a dramatic chord being played could be heard throughout the forest.}

Sailor Moon:
[Glancing around] Did you guys hear that?

Sailor Mars:
[Nods] Yeah. What was that all about anyway?

Sailor Pluto:
[Shrugs] Who knows?

King Arthur:
[Confounded look] A what?

Head Knight/Random knights:
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

King Arthur/Sir Bedevere:
[Cringing] Ow! Oh!

Sailor Moon/Mars/Pluto:
[Exchanging glances] ....

King Arthur:
[Begging] Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery!

Sailor Moon:
[Curiously] What is a shrubbery anyway?

Sir Bedevere:
[To Sailor Moon] Shh!

Head Knight:
You must return here with a shrubbery, or else you will never pass through this wood... alive.

Sailor Mars:
[Smirks] Wanna bet?

{A sign appears with the words "I think you'd lose that bet... if you know what I mean," on it.}

Sailor Mars:
[Growls] Damn you, Jason-san....

King Arthur:
[Relieved] O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.

Head Knight:
One that looks nice.

King Arthur:
Of course.

Head Knight:
And not too expensive.

King Arthur:
[Patiently] Yes.

Head Knight:
And....

Sailor Mars:
[Cuts him off] Don't push it.

Head Knight:
[Continues as if he was never interrupted and points] Now... go!


-------------------------------------------------


{The scene cuts to the author stretching in his chair.}

Jason:
[Yawns] All right.... That's another one down. [Stands up] Getting hungry. Better lock the laptop before I go.
[Locks laptop and leaves]

{Moments after the author leaves, Chibiusa comes out of hiding with the Narrator close behind her.}

Narrator:
Now, tell me again why I'm here?

Chibiusa:
Because you've got nothing better to do now that the chapter's over.

Narrator:
So? I can wait till next chapter.

Chibiusa:
[Raises an eyebrow skeptically] Then why are you here?

Narrator:
[Grimaces] ...oh, shut up.

{Chibiusa walks over to the laptop and presses the Ctrl, Alt, and Del buttons simultaneously. A window pops up requesting a
password.}

Chibiusa:
[Thinks] Hmm....

{She tries several combinations of names, numbers, etc. but fails to unlock the laptop.}

Narrator:
[Walks up] No luck?

Chibiusa:
[As Narrator idly taps a few keys] No, I couldn't figure out his password.... [Stares in shock as Narrator hits
Enter and the laptop unlocks] What the...?

Narrator:
[Laughs sheepishly] Well... how about that?

Chibiusa:
[Sweatdrops] At any rate.... [Sits down in front of the laptop and starts looking through his files]

Narrator:
[Confused] Haven't you done this before?

Chibiusa:
Yeah, but I never looked in any of them. There was something in here that caught my interest and I wanna see what it
is. [Continues searching] Ah! Here it is!

Narrator:
[Reads filename] Senshi-Seiyuu.mdb? Isn't that an MSAccess database file? [Thinks] Seiyuu? What's a seiyuu?

Chibiusa:
A Seiyuu is a voice actor or actress. Hey, wanna see what's in it?

Narrator:
[Nods] Sure. Open it up.

Chibiusa:
[Double-clicks file] Eh? Another password? [To Narrator] Do you remember what his password is?

Narrator:
[Nods and types it in, then hits Enter] There we go.

{Both blink in surprise as a second password prompt pops up.}

Chibiusa:
Eh?!? Another one?!? [Grumbles] What is with this guy and passwords anyway?

Narrator:
Well, you did steal his laptop once.

Chibiusa:
[Sighs] Okay... Let's try another password, okay? [Tries a password] Damn. No good.

Narrator:
Let me try. [Tries a password] Same here.

Chibiusa:
This time for sure! [Tries a password]

{The third password fails and the database closes.}

Chibiusa:
[Grumbles] Damn....

Narrator:
[Watches as Chibiusa fiddles around with the file] What are you doing?

Chibiusa:
Ami-chan and Ryo-kun showed me a few things about computers. I wanna try something.

{Chibiusa fiddled around with the file's coding, saved it to a copy of the file, then tried to open it.}

Chibiusa:
[Grins] There! No more passwords! Now, let's see what's in it.

{As the file opens, the program begins to display some weird characters, letters, and numbers, then causes the program to
corrupt. Suddenly, the laptop's screen began to light up and glow.}

Chibiusa:
[Eyes widen] Eh?!?

Narrator:
[Eyes also widen] What the hell did you do?!?

{As the screen continued to brighten, the author walked into the room and halted in shock.}

Jason:
[Staring] What the hell did you do to my laptop?!?!?

{Suddenly, the laptop stops glowing as the Sailor Senshi all suddenly appear in non-Senshi form, lying dazed on the floor.}

Chibiusa:
[Blinks] What happened, Jason-san? Why is everyone here all of a sudden?

Jason:
[To the Senshi] Usagi? Rei? Ami? Makoto? Minako? Hotaru? Haruka? Michiru? Setsuna? Ryoku? Are you all okay?

{The Senshi slowly get to their feet, each one in various stages of being dazed and confused. Usagi is the first one to come
to her senses.

Chibiusa:
Usagi? Are you all...?

Usagi:
[Blinks in confusion] Usagi? Who's that?

Narrator:
[Confused] Why does she sound different?

Jason:
[Eyes widen] Uh-oh.... [To Usagi] What's your name?

Usagi:
Katsuragi Misato. [Glances around] Um, where the hell am I anyway?

Haruka:
[Blinks in confusion] Misato-san? You can't be. You sound like her, but you don't look like her.

Usagi:
[Whirls around to stare at Haruka] That voice...! Shinji-kun? What happened to you?!? You're a girl!!!

Haruka:
[Stares at herself] What?!? [Eyes widen in shock] AAAH!

Jason:
[Groans] Oh, damn.... [Turns toward Chibiusa and the Narrator] What did you two do with my laptop? What did you
change?

Narrator:
Chibiusa altered a file called "Senshi-Seiyuu.mdb".

Jason:
[Grimaces] I thought so....

Chibiusa:
[Worredly to Jason] What is it, Jason-san?

Jason:
Remember when you altered my database file? That file contained listings of each Sailor Senshi's Japanese voice
actresses - and the one voice actor I chose for Ryoku - as well as cross-references to characters in other anime series that
the seiyuu have worked in. Well, what happened after you messed around with my database is that it got corrupted and pulled
the Senshi out of my fic, then swapped their minds with another character that the Senshi's seiyuu provided the voice for.

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Confused] Huh?

Jason:
[Sighs patiently] Okay. For example, remember when Usagi called herself Katsuragi Misato? Well, Usagi's seiyuu is
Mitsuishi Kotono, and she also provided the voice for Misato from the series Neon Genesis Evangelion.

{The author was suddenly interrupted as Usagi pulled the tab back on a Yebisu beer and started chugging it.}

Jason:
[Puzzled] Umm... how the hell did that get in here?

{Usagi downs the whole can, then slams it down on the nearby table.}

Usagi:
[Excitedly] YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Haruka:
[Exasperated sigh] She's still the same Misato-san....

Jason:
[Nods toward Haruka] Case in point. Haruka's seiyuu is Ogata Megumi, who also provided the voice for Ikari Shinji,
also from Evangelion.

Narrator:
So, each Senshi is a different person from a different anime?

Jason:
[Nods] Well, just be glad that Usagi didn't end up with the mind of Excel Excel from Excel Saga. I don't think we
could survive that amost of insanity. Besides, she speaks too fast for me to understand.

Chibiusa:
[Flatly] Doesn't sound that much different from Usagi.

Jason:
[Contemplative expression] Well... now that you mention it....

Narrator:
So, who're the others now?

Jason:
[Glancing over at the others] Well....

{As Jason, Chibiusa and the Narrator watched Ryoku and Michiru started to fight - Michiru saying something about a sister
named Kurumi, and Ryoku saying something about a girl named Akane. Rei was crying very, very, VERY loudly for someone named
Eiko, while Makoto tried to calm her while smirking devilishly to herself. Minako was watching everything with a very
bewildered expression on her face and murmuring something about wishing someone named Motoki was there, but she seemed to
have found herself a white lab coat from somewhere, perhaps the same place where the Yebisu came from. Hotaru cracked her
knuckles while mentioning that she'd take on Ryoku or Michiru - whoever won - and said something to herself, although a word
that sounded a little like 'Ehrgeiz' could just barely be heard. Setsuna just stared at Usagi with a look of absolute
confusion, seeing that she had passed out drunk surrounded by several dozen Yebisu beer cans - the source of which, unknown.
On the other hand, Ami seemed to be examining Jason's laptop with some interest.}

Chibiusa:
[Noticing Ami's interest in Jason's laptop] Ami-chan?

Jason:
[Walks over toward Ami] Like it?

Ami:
[Without looking away from the laptop] There seems to be some sort of... power residing in this machine. Strange...
even considering that this is a Hewlett-Packard. And it runs Windows ME.

Jason:
[Frowns] So, it's an HP. It works for me, all right?

Ami:
[Glances over at him] I can feel mystical energies inside this computer. Almost... divine, in some respects.

Narrator:
[Blinks] Divine? As in, god-like?

Jason:
[As Chibiusa stares at him] Don't look at me like that! You're the one who messed around with it!

Chibiusa:
But, I only changed some of the coding! Your laptop made everyone go nuts!!!

Narrator:
[To Jason] I've been meaning to ask; how come your laptop has the ability to change things, especially in the
fanfiction universe?

Jason:
Well.... [Glances over at Ami, who turns back toward the laptop]

Ami:
[Considering look] It almost feels like my sister's work.... Yes, I think Belldandy had a hand in empowering this
laptop. [Grins] Of course, I could've done better. I would've added some extra memory, some new drivers, a Yggdrasil-net
connector, maybe a few game controllers....

Chibiusa:
[To Jason] Who's Belldandy?

Jason:
Someone I met during one of my earlier trips into the fanfiction universe. I accidentally ended up doing her a
favor, so she used her goddess powers to keep my HP from crashing as much as a bumper car on crack.

Narrator:
[Sweatdrops] Interesting way of putting it, Jason-san.

Jason:
[Grins] Say, Skuld-chan, do you think you can put in a larger-capacity hard drive, too?

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Blinks] Skuld?

Jason:
[Nods at Chibiusa and Narrator] Yep. Ami's seiyuu provided the voice for Skuld from Aa! Megami-sama, you know.
[Turns back to Ami] What do you think you can do with the video card?

Chibiusa:
[Upset] Forget your damn laptop upgrades for a minute!!! Aren't you gonna fix this mess?

Jason:
You mean, the one you created by screwing around with my laptop? [Frowns] By the way, how'd you get in? I had the
thing locked.

Chibiusa:
[Points at Narrator] She did it.

Narrator:
[Angrily] Chibiusa!!!

Jason:
[Tiredly] All right! All right! [To Ami] Hey, Skuld-chan, you think you can give me a hand with this?

Ami:
[Grins] Sounds like fun.

Chibiusa/Narrator:
....

{As Jason and Ami work on the laptop, Chibiusa and the Narrator watch the others with some worry. Ryoku was attempting some
manuver called "Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken", while Michiru quickly evaded the attack. Hotaru was practicing a similar move
she called "Beat Rush", while Setsuna was staring down at Usagi and laughing at how stupid she looked drunk.}

Setsuna:
[In a young, boyish voice] Wait'll Mom and Dad find out you were drinking, Usagi. You'll be in so much trouble.
[Laughs]

Chibiusa:
[Irritated] Hey, Jason-san! Either hurry it up, or at least tell us who's who!

Ami:
[Smugly] There! Nothing to it compared to debugging the Yggdrasil system.

Jason:
All right! [Sits down] Now to fix this mess. I've gotta rebuild the corrupted copy of the database, one Senshi at a
time, before I can delete the copy. First, I'll take care of Ryoku.

{As Ami, Chibiusa and the Narrator watch over his shoulder, he quickly rewrites the coding of his database and opens it. He
then opens up the record for Ryoku.}

Jason:
[Reads as he types] Name: Kino Ryoku; Seiyuu: Yamaguchi Kappei; See also: Saotome Ranma(Ranma½).

{As soon as he saves the first record, Ryoku begins to disappear.}

Narrator:
[Glances behind her] Um... you might want to take care of Hotaru next, Jason-san.

Jason:
[Sees Hotaru headed for Michiru] Point taken. All right, then.... [Starts typing] Name: Tomoe Hotaru; Seiyuu:
Minaguchi Yuko; See also: Tifa Lockheart(Ehrgeiz{game}). [To Narrator] You have no idea how long it took me to find that one.

{As soon as he saves the record, Hotaru begins to disappear.}

Jason:
Who's next?

Chibiusa:
[Points at Rei] Her! All that crying is getting on my nerves!

Narrator:
[Winces] And she's so loud!

Jason:
[Nods] Got it. [Starts typing] Name: Hino Rei; Seiyuu: Tomizawa Michie; See also: Kotobuki Siiko[C-ko]
(Project: A-ko).

{As soon as he saves the record, Rei begins to disappear.}

Makoto:
[Glances around wildly] Siiko! Where did...? [Notices everyone gathered at the laptop] I bet you had a hand in
this....

Chibiusa:
[Frightened] Uh-oh.... Mako-chan looks pissed and she's coming right at us!

Jason:
[Casually] Don't worry about it.

Makoto:
[Removes her blouse and skirt and points her right forearm at them] Akagiyama missles! [Pauses and blinks in
surprise] Eh? [Looks down at herself and sees that she's only in her bra and panties] Aah! [Dives toward her discarded
clothes] My Akagiyama-23 biosuit! Where is it? I know I was wearing it before I left the house!

{Everyone performed one mass sweatdrop.}

Jason:
At any rate.... [Starts typing] Name: Kino Makoto; Seiyuu: Shinohara Emi; See also: Daitokuji Biiko[B-ko]
(Project: A-ko).

{As soon as he saves the record, Makoto begins to disappear.}

Narrator:
[Sighs in relief] Saved....

Jason:
All right, then. How about I choose.... [Points at Minako] ...her?

Minako:
[Points at herself] Who... me?

Jason:
[Starts typing] Name: Aino Minako; Seiyuu: Fukami Rica; See also: Nishimura Reika(Sailor Moon)

Chibiusa:
[Blinks] Eh? Reika-san? She was Reika-san?

Jason:
[Looking at Chibiusa] You didn't notice the voice similarities? [Grins] I bet you didn't know that both Umino and
Zoisite had the same seiyuu either. Or that Queen Beryl and Luna had the same seiyuu.

Chibiusa:
[Boggling] Eh?!?

Jason:
[Smirks] I thought you didn't.

Narrator:
Can we get on with this? This chapter has been dragging on for way too long as it is. Especially considering that
we're - once again - going way far out into left field of this story, to use an expression.

Jason:
[Nods] Right. Well then.... [Starts typing] Name: Kaiou Michiru; Seiyuu: Katsuki Masako; See also: Natsume(Ranma½).

{As soon as he saves the record, Michiru begins to disappear.}

Chibiusa:
[Points] Hey, how come you didn't add her last name?

Jason:
You'd have to see the Ranma½ OVA for the answer to that.

Narrator:
Do you realize how many obscure references you're putting into this section of the story? This isn't Mystery Science
Theater 3000, you know.

Chibiusa:
[Blinks] Eh?

Jason:
[Raises an eyebrow] Now who's making the obscure references? [Shrugs] Anyway, I'm only doing this for the hell of
it. I thought it'd be fun to write.

Narrator:
You mean, you were in desperate need for some filler before the Launcelot chapter.

Jason:
[Winces] Um....

Chibiusa:
[Glares at him] And this was the best you could think of?!?

Narrator:
[Dryly] I'd be surprised if anyone is still reading after all this nonsense you've written. Is this even a Sailor
Moon/Monty Python crossover anymore?

Jason:
[Sweatdrops] Can I just get on with this?

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Flatly] Please do.

Jason:
Let's see.... [Starts typing] Name: Meiou Setsuna; Seiyuu: Kawashima Chiyoko; See also: Tsukino Shingo(Sailor Moon).

{As soon as he saves the record, Setsuna begins to disappear.}

Chibiusa:
[Extreme boggling] Eh?!? Shingo?!? Puu was Shingo?!?

Jason:
Well, it was either him or Sakurada Haruna.

Chibiusa:
[Still boggling] She's also Sakurada-sensei?!?

Jason:
[Smirking to himself] I think I'm beginning to enjoy this.

Narrator:
[Sighs to herself and shakes her head] I'm beginning to regret taking this job....

Jason:
Now.... [Starts typing] Name: Ten'ou Haruka; Seiyuu: Ogata Megumi; See also: Ikari Shinji(Neon Genesis Evangelion).

{As soon as he saves the record, Haruka begins to disappear.}

Usagi:
[Snoring in a drunken stupor] Zzzz....

Jason:
[Glancing at Usagi] I almost wish I had a camera right now.

Chibiusa:
[Staring] She's gonna have one hell of a hangover after this.

Jason:
I'll fix that later. Maybe.

Chibiusa:
[Does a double-take] Is she drooling?

Narrator:
[Counting] 18 empty Yebisu cans.... Is that humanly possible?

Jason:
[Sighs] Clean up is gonna be a pain.... [Starts typing] Name: Tsukino Usagi; Seiyuu: Mitsuishi Kotono; See also:
Katsuragi Misato(Neon Genesis Evangelion).

{As soon as he saves the record, Usagi begins to disappear.}

Chibiusa:
[Glancing at Ami] One more to go.

Ami:
[Glancing down at herself] Eh? Oh, I see. [Grumbles] I could expect this of Urd... or maybe even Peorth... but it's
hard to see Belldandy's work causing this kind of mischief.

Narrator:
[Dryly] Mischief? That's an understatement.

Ami:
[To Jason] May I? [Gestures toward the laptop]

Jason:
[Frowns] Do you have to? I mean, what about my laptop...?

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Sternly] Jason-san....

Jason:
[Sighs] All right, all right.... [Moves aside]

Ami:
[Sits down] Here we go. [Starts typing] Name: Mizuno Ami; Seiyuu: Hisakawa Aya; See also: Skuld(Aa! Megami-sama!).

Chibiusa:
[Puzzled] Um... how did you...?

Ami:
[Smiles] Know all of that? I'm a Goddess Second-class, Limited. I have my resources.

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Sharing confused glances] If you say so....

Ami:
[To Jason] By the way, Jason-san, you might want to work on the security of your laptop a bit. I mean, if those two
could break into it, anyone can.

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Indignant] Hey!

Jason:
[Thinks] Hmm.... Well, I've already locked it down as much as I could. [Grins] But I suppose you've got access to
something that could help me, right?

Ami:
[Considers] Well....

Jason:
Ice cream. 50 gallons. Your choice of flavors.

Ami:
[Eagerly] Deal!

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Facefault] ....

{As soon as he saves the record, Ami begins to disappear.}

Jason:
[Leans back in his chair] Well, that's that. [Sternly] Hold it.

{Chibiusa and the Narrator stopped just before they reached the door and exchanged nervous glances.}

Chibiusa:
[Whispers] I told you he'd catch us!

Narrator:
[Whispers] You weren't sneaking away quietly enough!

Jason:
[Calmly] I hope you realize that I still haven't forgotten that you two broke into my laptop. Do you know what this
means?

Chibiusa:
[Anxiously] Would it help if I said I was sorry?

Jason:
[Flatly] Don't bother. I've already decided what to do.

Narrator:
[Gulps audibly] What's that?

Jason:
[Grins evilly] You'll both find out... at the end of this story.

{Suddenly, the author began to chuckle wickedly. His laughter steadily grew until he began to laugh maniacally, enough to
make Professor Souichi Tomoe proud.}

Chibiusa/Narrator:
[Sweatdrops] .... [To each other] I've got a bad feeling about this....


-------------------------------------------------


Coming soon to a website near you....

A Grail?!? - Chapter 10: The Tale of Sir Launcelot

Questions? Comments? Wondering when the hell I'm going to get back to the original storyline?
E-mail me: jasonulloa@hotmail.com or ulloaj@stennis.navy.mil