Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Against All Odds ❯ Epilogue ( Chapter 18 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Dejana Talis 
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.01.2007 | Updated On: 11.01.2007 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.8K | Visits: 418 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.01.2007 | Updated On: 11.01.2007 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.8K | Visits: 418 | Status: Completed
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Against All Odds
A Sailormoon Fanfiction
by dejanatalis@aol.com
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Epilogue
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The daimon straightened up, laughing. Its violet tail twitched as it towered over the four Sailor Soldiers lying crumpled at its feet. Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus... they had all fallen to Nekonell's whiplike tail and lay groaning on the floor of the abandoned house, unable to muster the strength to get up again.
"Everyone!" Across the room Tsukino Usagi crouched helplessly, cradling Miharu's unconscious form. Usagi was all that stood between the daimon and the child now. Miharu's pure heart crystal had already been proven not to be a talisman - whatever that was - but who knew what Nekonell might do now that its mission had failed?
The daimon twisted around. Its spotted violet tail lashed out, and before Usagi could react, it was wrapped around her neck. The teen kept a firm hold on Miharu even as she struggled to breathe, the impossibly long tail tightening around her throat. Nekonell began to pull Usagi toward itself, dragging her across the floor. Was this how it was fated to end? The Silver Crystal's light gone, her transformation locket unresponsive... After all she had survived, a common monster would get the best of Sailor Moon?
The daimon flicked its wrist, catlike, and the bells on its dress jingled as if mocking its prey - so powerful as a soldier, so helpless as a girl.
Suddenly, the pressure on Usagi's throat was released, the tail dissolving into puzzle pieces that scattered across the floor. Usagi looked up to see a familiar red rose sticking out of the tiles, its petals still quivering from its flight.
"Who is it-nell?" Nekonell demanded, looking up furiously. Usagi knew without looking, the sudden leap of her heart signaling the arrival of her beloved savior.
"Tuxedo Kamen!" she cried with eager relief. He was standing on a high windowsill, arm raised and ready to throw another rose. The red-lined cape of his familiar black tuxedo swirled around him, creating the air of mystery and majesty that had enchanted Usagi from the very beginning.
"Those who toy with pure hearts will someday be brought to justice by pure hearts," Tuxedo Kamen announced. Some found his speeches futile and meaningless, but Usagi never tired of them. It was as if he found all the meaning in the world and knew just how to put it into words that Usagi would understand. New confidence flooded into her. He would always be there to protect her. Even if she couldn't transform, there was nothing to fear.
Tuxedo Kamen leapt down from the windowsill and landed in front of Usagi. She gently laid Miharu down and stood up, but it was too much to hope that he would even glance at her. Tuxedo Kamen was always so focused during battle...
"Nekonell!" The self-named daimon whirled around. Again its tail lashed out. Usagi gasped and shrank back, but Tuxedo Kamen stood firm and assumed a fighting stance. He was always so brave, her Chiba Mamoru, no matter what happened.
The enchanted black cane extended from Tuxedo Kamen's gloved hands, shattering Nekonell's tail as it stretched across the room. Its tip plunged into the daimon's abdomen and pushed it back against the wall. The masked fighter held firmly to his end of the cane, and for a moment, the creature was still, hanging limply over the rod in its stomach.
Then Nekonell smiled. Its red eyes opened, and the foul thing licked its lips, as if savoring the sweet taste of its victory to come. It seized the cane protruding from its middle and snapped it off at the end, causing the rest of the enchanted stick to shrink back to its normal size. The daimon tossed the broken end toward Tuxedo Kamen, who batted it harmlessly away, but when the creature launched itself into the air vicious claws sprouted from its fingers.
Usagi braced herself as Tuxedo Kamen pulled his cape in front of them both. Nekonell came down and struck. The daimon's talons slashed the man's cape to ribbons and swiped his mask from his face. His top hat tumbled to the tiled floor. Clearly the new monsters were just as dangerous to Tuxedo Kamen as they were to the Sailor Soldiers. Usagi cried out, but her protector kept his feet, unwilling to expose her to the enemy.
"Run, Usa-ko!"
Run? Impossible... Usagi was a soldier; it was her job to tell others to run, not to flee herself. She was afraid, but she could not abandon the people she loved.
Nekonell charged again. Tuxedo Kamen threw another enchanted rose and it hit the catlike creature full in the face. For the moment it fell back, the shock of the impact interrupting its deadly onslaught.
"Now, Usa-ko!" Tuxedo Kamen insisted urgently as rose petals filled the air. "At least you should get away from here!" His energy fading, the dark-haired man dropped to the ground, barely managing to remain upright on one knee as his head drooped.
~At least you...~ Could it really be that serious? The Sailor Soldiers had overcome so many enemies. It could not all end here, there was always something... but even the Silver Crystal had gone dark. Still, Usagi could never leave her friends, no matter how hopeless things seemed.
"I can't do that!" Usagi knelt beside her boyfriend and reached out to put her hands on his. He could just as soon ask her to put out the sun. Wherever Mamoru went, she would follow...
A strange phrase; it felt like an echo from far away...
"Hurry and run!" Now Tuxedo Kamen looked at her, and Usagi saw the familiar sadness in his eyes. Mamoru's eyes always seemed sad, even when he was smiling and laughing. Usagi often wondered about it, but there was no time for that now. She knew what he really meant, and knew just as clearly why she could not do what he asked.
"No!" Usagi felt the tears starting in her eyes, but she fought against them, desperate to make her conviction clear. It always came down to this, when things were at their worst. Against normal enemies they all fought together, and the other girls came down hard on Usagi if she did not pull her weight, but when things were at their darkest, all illusion of equality vanished. Tsukino Usagi was the reincarnation of the Moon Princess Serenity, and to her friends, that meant her life was more precious than any of theirs. Again and again Usagi came up against the barrier of that truth, and again and again she fought it.
"I want to protect everyone!" she insisted, tightening her grip on Tuxedo Kamen's hand. "And you, my dear Mamo-chan, too..."
Was this the fate of a Princess? To stand helplessly while her loved ones died to protect her? Tuxedo Kamen's expression softened as Usagi's eyes filled with tears. She might have been a Princess once, but now she was Tsukino Usagi, and she would not accept such a cruel fate. Life was not worth living without Mamoru and her friends, and the duties of a Princess were nothing compared to that. If her loved ones had to fight, Usagi would fight too. If they were in danger, she would protect them.
"I will fight with everyone..."
Usagi was abruptly conscious of her ordinary blouse and plain skirt. If she could not transform into Sailor Moon, how could she protect the people she loved? Why had the light of the Silver Crystal gone out? She had always hated fighting... she had always wished to be an ordinary girl... but if her friends could not be with her, none of that mattered. Being a soldier had always been an unwelcome burden, thrust upon her by destiny, but now, for the first time, Usagi wanted to be Sailor Moon with all her heart.
She raised Tuxedo Kamen's hand in hers and closed her eyes. ~For my beloved Mamo-chan... please, Silver Crystal, shine again! Please, Moon Kingdom watching over me, make me a soldier again! Please... I want to protect the people I love!~
Usagi felt her hands grow hot with a sudden warmth. She heard Nekonell yowl in pain as it charged again and was thrown back by a mysterious force. Somewhere Luna was yelling something, and the warmth was spreading, growing larger until Usagi felt herself pulsing with it. Still, she kept her eyes closed, not wanting to disturb whatever magic was happening. It was keeping her dearest one safe, and for the moment, that was enough.
~I want to fight... to protect my dear Mamo-chan, who I love!~
Usagi opened her eyes to see her beloved opening his as well. Had he been wishing with her, wishing the same thing? Mamoru's clothing had changed. The slashed tuxedo had vanished, replaced by plates of armor and a fresh cape. Usagi's ordinary clothes, too, were gone, replaced by a flowing white dress she knew well. A shadow of their past lives had come to the present, an echo of the time when they had existed as Endymion and Serenity.
The towering marble of the ancient Moon Castle towered over them. Was it all an illusion, or had they been momentarily transported to the Moon? A rosy spark of light burst from the highest tower and soared down to envelop the joined hands of the reincarnated couple. It burst outward, enveloping them both, and the coalesced into something solid that forced their hands apart and hovered between them.
It was a slim rod, longer than Usagi's forearm, bright pink with a gold-edged red heart at its top. Usagi caught her breath, hardly daring to believe it. Had the Moon itself heard her call and sent her a new item? It sparkled between her and Mamoru with unknown power, nearly too dazzling to look at. Mamoru stared at it with amazement to match Usagi's wonder.
"This was born from our combined power?" the reborn Princess breathed. From their love, their mutual desire to protect each other, the reincarnated lovers had summoned a great magic from the distant past.
"The legendary rod..." Luna's voice, filled with stunned disbelief, reached Usagi's ears. It seemed they were all sharing the dream, all experiencing the echo of the long-lost world they had once inhabited.
"The Spiral Heart Moon Rod!" Artemis proclaimed from wherever the cats were standing.
Together, Usagi and Mamoru reached out and took hold of the rod. The illusion was fading, the dark walls of the abandoned house returning around them. Their eyes met. Mamoru seemed to be searching for something in Usagi's face, waiting for her to speak.
"The legendary Spiral Heart Moon Rod?" she repeated. That was an odd phrase... If this was a new item, why would it be legendary? The searching look faded from Mamoru's face.
"Nekonell!"
Usagi snapped back to reality as the long white dress of her past life was replaced by her modern street clothes. There would be plenty of time for her unanswered questions later. Right now, there was an enemy to be defeated, and she was determined to do what she had promised to do. The enemy, shattered into puzzle pieces by the rosy light, was reforming itself and yowling a fresh challenge.
"Usagi! Transform!" Artemis yelled from across the room.
"I'm sure you can do it now!" Luna called.
Usagi seized her transformation locket and discovered the object itself had been transformed. The Silver Crystal had not only restored its strength, but had evolved into a new shape with new power. With this, Usagi knew she could become a soldier strong enough to protect her friends.
"Moon Cosmic Power!" she cried out. The locket opened, and the jewel inside shone with the rosy light of Usagi and Mamoru's shared wish. "Make Up!"
The crystal flashed. Ribbons of warm energy wrapped around Usagi's torso and limbs, forming the sailor suit that gave her the strength to fight. She was going back to war again. She had given up an ordinary life and accepted the fate of a Sailor Soldier... but this time, it was a path she had chosen.
She knew, as she seized the Spiral Heart Moon Rod and shouted the words that would destroy the daimon, that she had made a great sacrifice. With her own will, she had summoned this weapon, and the destiny of a soldier could not so easily be put aside. If her loved ones would be with her, however, it would be no burden.
The echo of her past life flowed through her, and it fueled the new power she wielded, but she would not allow it to control her future. She had been Princess Serenity, a jewel to be polished and protected and given away. Now she was Tsukino Usagi, a girl who understood love and friendship were more important than anything, and would fight to defend what she held dear.
Now she was Sailor Moon.
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It was evening. Pale moonlight shone through the windows of the Tokyo apartment, filling its rooms with a silvery glow. The apartment was modestly furnished, impeccably clean, and quite empty.
The lock clicked and the door swung open. A tall young man with short dark hair walked inside, a lumpy bundle of cloth in his arms. One hand reached toward the light switch, hesitated, then fell away again. Chiba Mamoru strolled into the dark living room and kicked the door shut behind him.
The dark-haired man tossed a top hat and white eye-mask on a chair and held a red-lined cape up to the moonlight. It had been slashed to ribbons, beyond repair. Sometimes he envied the girls' short skirts; at least their uniforms mended themselves. He'd put in an order to his usual supplier in the morning.
Crossing the room, Mamoru sank down on his couch and leaned his elbows on his knees. The events of the afternoon flickered through his mind for what felt like the hundredth time. The daimon. The shimmering Moon Castle. The Spiral Heart Moon Rod. Usagi's wondering expression as she held it. Mamoru buried his face in his hands. He finally had his answer.
Now what would he do with that knowledge?
"Endymion."
Mamoru leapt to his feet. Outlined in the silvery moonlight pouring through the front window was a translucent figure, pale and clothed in a white dress. The window was plainly visible through her body, but every detail of the ghostly image was clear, down to the sad expression on its face. Mamoru's fists clenched at his sides. This was the last person he wanted to see at the moment.
"What do you want?" he demanded roughly.
"Come, now." A faint smile appeared on the transparent face. "Is that any way to treat the woman who was once your Queen?"
A fierce glare darkened Mamoru's face. He strolled to the side of the front window, and reached out for the string that would pull the curtains closed and cut off the moonlight. The spectre's face changed, then, to genuine fear.
"Wait, please!" Queen Serenity cried, reaching out a pale hand in supplication. "I apologize - Prince Endymion."
Mamoru's hand paused in the act of grasping the cord.
"So that, at least, is true then," he said without looking at the image of the dead Queen.
"Did you ever really doubt it?" Serenity said gently. "Your power is beyond that of any human's, and the Golden Kingdom's armor comes to you as easily as your tuxedo and mask. You are the true Prince of Earth."
An angry retort came to Mamoru's mind, but he bit it back. He considered asking why the Queen was here, but he suspected he already knew the answer to that question.
"Why should I listen to you?" he asked instead.
"Because I could have spent this time with my daughter, when she came to the Moon, but I saved my energy to speak to you," Queen Serenity replied. "Because, were it not for me, you would not be here at all," she added a bit reproachfully.
"And I should be grateful for that, should I?" Mamoru said in a low voice, the anger rising in him. "What, exactly, have you given me?"
"I chose you for reincarnation, not the man I had intended Serenity to marry," the ancient Moon Queen replied, her ghostly eyes narrowed. "I have given you my daughter-"
"No, you have taken her from me!" Mamoru snapped. He whirled around to face the former Queen, his dark eyes flashing. The silvery ghost stood stiffly, straightening to its fullest height.
"So, you do know, then," she said calmly.
"How could I not?" Mamoru demanded. "From the beginning, I suspected, from the moment I remembered who I was. Her eyes were so empty... and she would get so upset whenever I tried to call her 'Sere'... but I always had hope that I was mistaken, that she simply preferred to be Usagi and forget about the old days. But today... you know what happened."
"Of course." Queen Serenity nodded. "I sent the rod to you."
"The Spiral Heart Moon Rod," Mamoru murmured, his memory returning to the shining stick that had appeared during the battle with Nekonell. "Even I, a stable hand, could not fail to recognize the legendary magic weapon the Moon Queen used in the wars that forged her kingdom. As soon as it appeared, I knew what it was - what you meant it to be, anyway - the blessing of the Moon on our union." His lips twisted in a wry smile. "A bit overdue, I think." The ghost of the Queen did not argue. "But, to Usagi, it was an alien thing; unknown to her, when she must have seen it personally at least once. It was then that I knew for certain."
"She is still Princess Serenity," the Queen said quietly.
"She is not my Sere," Mamoru countered. "What have you done to her? It cannot have happened naturally; I remember everything, but no one else does. It is the same with the girls, is it not?"
"Yes." Queen Serenity's eyes were clear and calm. Mamoru could almost see a shadow of lavender in them. "The soldiers pledged their eternal allegiance to me, above their other rulers. You, on the other hand, were never truly mine to command. I could not modify your memory."
"You would have," said Mamoru after a moment.
"Yes. I admit it was cruel to leave the truth with you alone. I considered abandoning that piece of the plan when I found you could not be tampered with, but I had to proceed."
"Why?" Mamoru's fists trembled at his sides. How could she speak so calmly of the tainting of five lives?
"Because I failed the first time." The transparent eyes began to sparkle with intangible tears. "It ended in death, and would have again had I allowed the full memories of the events to influence the second chance." An unexpected jolt of sympathy struck Mamoru's stomach, ebbing the edge of the fury away.
"You blame yourself?" It wasn't really a question; the answer was clear on the dead Queen's face.
"I built the society that destroyed them," she said quietly. "I created a world that valued duty over love; a world where the elite were separated from the people they served. It took the death of my beloved daughter to show me I was wrong, about everything."
The anger of years was still bubbling within Mamoru, aching to be released, but he fought it back. There would never be another chance to have his questions answered, and he had many of them.
"What happened, that day?" he asked, anticipation quickening his pulse. "I've heard the story you fed the girls, but we both know that's unreliable." Mamoru's lips twisted with bitterness, but he fought the urge to chastise the dead Queen further.
"Yes," was the response. "You remember things differently than they do. Did you know, Endymion, that the war was over long before the battle even began? From the moment Metalia fell to Earth, it was already too late to save the Silver Millennium. Fate had been changed." Mamoru was confused by this declaration, but he did not interrupt as Queen Serenity turned to gaze up at the dead Moon hanging in the sky.
"The Silver Crystal could have turned it all around, even at the end," she said faintly, "but when I retrieved it from the Crystal Tower, it would not respond to me. There was only one wish it would grant, the wish of its new mistress." The Queen glanced sideways at the tall dark-haired man standing beside her. "Serenity's wish that she could live happily with you."
Mamoru blinked, startled. He had known that Princess Serenity had been learning to commune with the Silver Crystal, but she had never confided in him about this. Now he learned she had loved him so deeply that she had asked the most powerful object in the Solar System for a happy life with him... even over the safety of her own kingdom...
"You understand the implications," the Moon Queen said, recognizing the change that came over Mamoru's expression. "In the world I had created, Serenity's wish could never come true. You had to be reborn on the same planet, in an era when you could live as equals. The destruction of the Silver Millennium came about for that purpose."
Everything seemed to grow cold. A sudden nausea churned within Mamoru's stomach, and he sank down on the couch, speechless. Images of the Moon in ruins surfaced from the shadows of his memories of the past. Because of Serenity's love for him, entire civilizations had come to an end? Miss Amaris, Prien, Misa, Talma... had they all died because the Moon Princess had fallen in love with a stable hand? Mamoru's head was spinning. It could not be true... but the memories of the strange dreams he and Serenity had experienced were as vivid as those of actual events, sometimes even more so. They had been premonitions, signs that their reincarnation was already fated to happen.
And it had all come about from a wish. The same object that had built and protected the Moon Kingdom had destroyed it utterly. Truly, the Silver Crystal was as terrible as it was wonderful, like the computers of the modern age that would just as soon steady a heart rate as pilot a bomb. It all depended on the will of the wielder.
"Serenity did not know what she was doing," the ghost of the Queen said as Mamoru gripped the arm of the couch with a shaking hand. "Her wish was innocent; the fault was mine for building a world where it could not come true. I was part of the wish as well... only by witnessing my daughter's suicide would I accept that I could not change her heart, and realize what needed to be done."
"So it is true," Mamoru murmured. "She..."
He could not bring himself to say the words, to speak of his beloved Sere piercing her own heart with his sword. It had nearly killed him to hear of it, when Usagi told him what she had learned on her visit to the Moon and laughed - laughed! - in embarrassment when she explained what her past self had done. Usagi believed the past was equally as distant and intangible to Mamoru as it was to her, but to the reincarnation of Endymion, it was as if it had happened yesterday. It had pained him nearly to tears to learn his precious love had died by her own hand when he had sacrificed himself to save her, and a part of him had always hoped that detail was part of the lie.
"She would not live without you," the Moon Queen said gently. "Her heart was stronger than mine. It took her death to show me the power of her love for you. Her love might have saved our world, had I not tried to prevent it. It was a dear lesson for the Sailor Soldiers as well. They died protecting you both, although you were already gone. They, too, learned of the strength of love by witnessing your end, and it gave them the power to defeat Beryl and call great force from their elements. But it was too late; Metalia was too strong. The world I had created was destroyed."
"So you sent us to be reborn, in a time and place where we would all be equals," Mamoru reasoned. The ghost of the Queen nodded.
"I finally accepted that you and Serenity belonged together," she admitted with a kind smile. "I chose you for reincarnation instead of the man I believed to be the Earth Prince. I made the Sailor Soldiers ordinary girls, so they would experience love, friendship, and the value of normal lives. They are young, but they have already surpassed their former selves; they have a deep understanding of the people they protect, and a close bond with their Princess that would never have been possible during the Silver Millennium."
"Too close," Mamoru muttered. A sudden flash of suppressed anger surfaced. "You made them the same; you made Sere a Sailor Soldier!"
"Without the Crystal Tower, there is no other way for her to wield the power of the Silver Crystal safely," Queen Serenity explained. "Until she becomes Queen, being a soldier is the best way for her to protect her people-"
"That's easy enough for you to say," Mamoru snapped. "You're not the one who has to support her in a destiny she doesn't want. You're not the one who has to hold her when she cries after a battle, exhausted from the endless war! She isn't like the other girls; she wasn't cut out for this!"
"She wished for it herself." Queen Serenity's voice was like stone, but her eyes were sorrowful. "She may not remember, but she never wanted to be idle while others fought. You saw the proof of that today, in her frustration at being unable to transform. She desires peace, but if her friends must fight, she will do all she can to help them."
"And whose fault is it that she can't remember why she feels that way?" Mamoru growled. Now that the anger was back, it would not go away. The Moon Queen was right about one thing: she was at fault. Queen Serenity was responsible for all the pain Mamoru had suffered as Endymion, and now she was responsible for the agony of his new life without Sere as he remembered her. He had been a loyal subject of the Moon, and his reward was to have everything taken from him.
"What could I have done?" the ghost of the Queen argued defensively. "Serenity all but hated me; the Sailor Soldiers were at each other's throats. There was no trust, no love. If I had allowed them to remember all the ugliness of their past lives, it would all have fallen apart! Without their faith in me, without their belief in the goodness of the Moon Kingdom, the soldiers would never have stood against the enemy. Metalia would have won!"
"So you rewrote history?" Mamoru shot back. "You erased all the experiences that made them who they were?"
"I had to!" Queen Serenity wrung her ghostly hands, clearly finding her task more difficult than she had anticipated. "The Sailor Soldiers have to trust each other. They have to work as a team. Serenity could not rely on them as they were. Besides, you heard what I told you. Could Serenity live with herself if she knew her wish brought about the fall of the Silver Millennium?"
"She is not Serenity," Mamoru snapped, but in his heart he knew the Queen was right. It was dreadful enough knowing the truth himself, and he was innocent of the crime. If Usagi knew what her past self had done, the burden of it would destroy her.
"Is she really so different?" the Moon Queen asked. "I altered the past, but I did not destroy it. My daughter remembers one Prince of Earth, a man she loved dearly but was kept away from. She remembers that you loved her, and that you died for her. Is that not enough?"
"She doesn't remember what created that love," the reincarnated stable hand responded. "She doesn't remember the trials that forged that bond, the obstacles we overcame to hold it together, or the reason behind the roses I throw. The Sailor Soldiers may not remember what I suffered at their hands, but I do, and it keeps me distant from them. Usagi may not remember the promise I made never to take another life, but I am still bound by it, and it makes her battles all the harder! Because of what you've done, we will never be as close as we once were..."
"Can you not let go of the past?" the Queen said quietly. "You are the Prince now; the soldiers respect you, the Princess cares for you even without her memories of the Moon. There have been new trials to bind you together. The old days are long gone; you could forget them as well and move on."
"Someone must remember what you erased," Mamoru said bitterly. "Even if no one else remembers my promise to preserve life, it is no less real, no less meaningful. I slaughtered my own brother. Someone should remember that he lived."
There was a moment of silence as the dark-haired man stared off into a shadowy corner of the room.
"You didn't know," Queen Serenity said after a while.
"That doesn't make it any better. I sometimes wonder if this is my punishment for that crime," Mamoru confessed, indicating the empty apartment with a sweep of his arm. "No parents, no siblings... another life with no family of my own."
"Not forever," the Moon Queen reminded him. "You will have a wife who loves you, my Serenity-"
"She is not Serenity!" Mamoru barked again.
"Usagi, then," the Queen challenged. "Do you not love her?"
The reborn stable hand shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
"Of course I do," he admitted after a moment. "More than anything or anyone, except Sere."
"Because she was once Serenity?" the Queen asked.
Another uncomfortable silence.
"No," Mamoru finally responded. "I loved her before I knew who we were, and I never stopped loving her for a moment, not even when I realized she would never call me 'Endy'. She shines brightly enough on her own, even without Serenity's light within her."
"You have been given a second chance to be happy," the ghost of Queen Serenity said gently. "Do not waste it in regret."
"I try, you must know I do," the dark-haired man replied. "It is hard, to see Sere in her face but not find her in her eyes. I love Usagi, I would not want to lose her either, but I can't forget the echo of our hearts beating as one..." Mamoru's voice cracked. He stopped, and cleared his throat. "Is there... is there any chance she might remember?"
"No."
There was a long pause. Mamoru did not move, and seemed barely even to breathe, but inside him something was breaking, crumbling, crying. Only he would ever know what had been lost. Only he would carry the memory of the miracle romance that had been shattered by the ravages of fate and time. He felt soured, bitter, chained to a light that was a pale imitation of the flame that once had been... but it was not Usagi who was to blame; she was as vibrant and shining as ever. It was Mamoru who was broken, unable to let go of the ghost that haunted his past.
"Why are you here?" he finally asked the spectre in his living room. It was good to know the truth, but these were all things he could have guessed on his own.
"To apologize, firstly." Mamoru snorted, but the voice of the Queen continued on. "I told myself I was treating you with kindness, but that does not excuse my actions, nor those of the people who served me. Prince or not, you were a citizen of the Moon, and I failed as your ruler when I did not protect you. You deserved an explanation, and my sincere regrets." The reincarnated stable hand did not speak. Nothing Queen Serenity could ever say would erase two lifetimes of strife. She had once been his Queen, who he had feared and revered, but now she was nothing more than a shadow of the past projected onto his world.
"Secondly... I have come to ask you not to tell her." The monarch's voice suddenly sounded faint and muffled. Mamoru looked up. The image of Queen Serenity was fading, the power source of the data she had stored on the Moon finally reaching the end of its life.
"Promise me you will keep the secrets of the past to yourself," the ghost pleaded urgently, its fading hands clasped together. "The illusion is kinder than the truth - please!"
Mamoru watched silently as the hologram blended into the stream of moonlight. The image faded smoothly away, dress and hair dissolving into nothingness. Queen Serenity's silver lips moved desperately until the end, even when she could no longer make a sound. In moments, the spectre was gone, and only clear moonlight flowed through the window.
The reincarnation of Endymion, raised a stable hand but rightly Crown Prince of the Golden Kingdom, stood up and walked to the window. He gazed out, not at the Moon, but at the city of Tokyo spreading out below him. In the end, it was the Earth that had won, the only planet that had endured to host the survivors of the others. His planet, thought to be inferior, would be the site of the new Silver Millennium.
Of course, there was no question that Mamoru would keep the secret of what Queen Serenity had done. He had been unwilling to give the ancient Queen the satisfaction of once again manipulating him, but he knew he would take the truth to his grave no matter how long he lived. He loved Usagi, and the fact that she was not the soulmate he had died for would torture her until the end of time if she knew. Mamoru could never do that to a sweet girl who loved him with her entire self, even if he could not respond in kind.
His eyes roamed the patchwork of streets and structures that made up the city his current incarnation called home. The moonlight illuminated Tokyo like Tsukino Usagi illuminated his life. No matter how difficult it was, Mamoru owed it to her to move forward until he could give himself to her as completely as she gave herself to him. She deserved better than the half-heart she held.
The white mask on the chair shone silver in the moonlight, symbol of one of the few events they both remembered. From the very first day in the long-lost garden to the battle of that afternoon, no love was as dearly won as that between Endymion and Serenity. Even cracked, it was a jewel too precious to be abandoned. No matter how many times she was reborn, no matter what form she assumed, Mamoru would always love Princess Serenity. Even if his heart ached until he could feel nothing else, or the world came to ruin and she could no longer recognize his face, Endymion would always protect her.
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The End.
*Author's notes below.*
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Author's Notes
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Well... here we are. After four long years of delays and excuses, "Against All Odds" is finally complete. This is the first time I've ever finished anything with multiple chapters, so it's a new accomplishment for me. I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt I'm glad it's over. xD
Some of you probably want to kill me right now, after reading the second half of this epilogue. ^^;; I feel a bit guilty about it, to be honest, but really it couldn't have ended any other way. I had this resolution planned from the very beginning, when I thought AAO would be only a few short chapters (haha). I imagined it would be another one of my canon-bending explanation fics; fast, interesting, and forgotten... By the time it got as long as it did, and drew people in as much as it did, it was too late to veer away from the cruel finale. Still, I really can't say I'd want it any other way.
Please don't kill me. ^^;;
*distracts you with a little Q&A!*
Q. What's with Endymion having black eyes? His eyes are blue!
A. You're right. Most commonly in canon he does have blue eyes. In many of the manga illustrations, however, his eyes are gray or black. When I started the story I thought it would be mostly manga-centric, so I felt free to choose either one, and went with the black for variety. Plus, it's a lot harder to write love scenes when both characters' eyes are the same color. :P
Q. Why doesn't Venus' glamour work on Kunzite?
A. Because she has genuine feelings for him. I meant to explain that in the story, but somehow it didn't make it in there. True love can't be won by tricks.
Q. When Beryl first encounters Serenity in the Golden City, what was Beryl's incantation supposed to do?
A. Beryl confused the crowd to create a mob Serenity would get lost in, and to gather a larger audience for her unmasking of the Princess. I think the final version of the chapter explains this okay, but several people were confused by the first release, so I'm throwing it in here.
Q. Is Prien Motoki?
A. Not necessarily, but if you want to believe he is, why not? I definitely patterned his physical character after Motoki. At the time I think I was working off the theory that *everyone* from the Moon Kingdom was reincarnated, but by the end it didn't work out that way. Following that pattern, Adele was modeled after Naru, and Talma was based on Reika.
Q. Why do Serenity and Endymion keep dreaming about the future?
A. In the epilogue I explain it away as an indicator of fate (Serenity's dream of Crystal Tokyo was particularly indicative of this), but the truth is, I just felt like it. :3 I thought it would be fun to see how my version of Serenity would react to her future self's life. Endymion's vision was done mainly for equal opportunity reasons. I did have a lot of fun writing those scenes.
Q. So Usagi isn't the same person as Serenity just because she doesn't have her memories? That's silly!
A. Your experiences make you who you are, don't they?
Q. Will there be a sequel?
A. Canon is the sequel. :P
Q. What inspired you to write this story?
A. I hate to admit it, but there's an episode of "Friends" where Joey makes a comment about a stable hand falling in love with a princess. That's what did it. I don't even like "Friends." T_T
Q. What are you going to do now? Are you leaving the fandom?
A. A lot of people seem to think I'm leaving the Sailormoon fandom now that AAO is finished, but that's not quite true. I am planning to move on to other fandoms soon, but I have a few more stories I want to write before I let go of Sailormoon. I'm not coming up with any new SM ideas, but I have existing ones I won't leave without writing. Most notably, I have started what I hope will be my masterpiece as far as SM fandom is concerned: "Fantaisie Sign," which is about a different incarnation of the Sailor Senshi. I'm not sure yet what archives it will be posted on, because I don't know what content and rating it will end up having, but it will definitely be on dotmoon.net when it's done. (That will be a while, though, because I am never EVER again posting an unfinished story. x_x)
Q. Where can we go to tar and feather you - erhm, I mean, to say hi?
A. I'm planning to cut down on the number of archives I post to, but there are a few places I will always be. First is my LiveJournal, http://dejana.livejournal.com/. I always post notices there when I have new stories to share. Secondly, my personal website, dejanatalis.net, hosts all my writing whenever I can be bothered to update it. Other than that, I'm the administrator of dotmoon.net, so I won't be disappearing from there anytime soon. If you're a writer, reader, artist, or just love fandom, we'd love to have you join us at .moon. ^^
Q. Gimme some goodies!
A. That's not really a question :P but okay. ^^ I've created a special website to host "Against All Odds." If you go to http://www.dejanatalis.net/odds/, you can download a PDF e-book of the full story, special cover artwork if you're the fanfic-printing type, and a tribute music video I made to celebrate the completion of the story. Any side stories or fan materials I may end up with will also be hosted there.
Well, that is that! Last but not least, I have thanks to lavish on certain people. First, Ashaela, AKA Ice Princess/The Perpetual Lurker, my primary beta since day one, without whom none of my stories would be what they are. THANK YOU so much for all the help you've given me with this story from the beginning and staying through the end. AAO would not be the accomplishment it is without your input. Also, Sapphiregirl, Superkate, Jason, and Yumeko, all of whom edited and pre-read this story at various times. And Ruminant, my #1 fangirl, who bothered me to finish this story when I felt like everyone had forgotten about it. ;) (Wow, look at me writing a thanks blurb! So many new experiences involved in finishing an epic! xD)
Finally, thanks go out to all of you reading this, everyone who reviewed and commented and emailed and IMed through years of excuses and delays and broken promises (and run-on sentences ;P). Everyone who had the patience to stick with me and read to the very end. I lost a lot of my reader base with my endless procrastination, but there were always a few comments to remind me why I was glad to be writing this. I appreciate it more than words can say, and thank you all. :)
-Dejana Talis
October 28, 2007
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End
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"Against All Odds" fanfiction copyright 2007 by dejanatalis@aol.com
Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon and its associated characters and canon belong to Naoko Takeuchi and Kodansha. The text of this creative work was created by dejanatalis@aol.com and is her exclusive property. Not to be used without permission. Sailor Moon Says: Don't steal! ^.^
Against All Odds
A Sailormoon Fanfiction
by dejanatalis@aol.com
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Epilogue
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The daimon straightened up, laughing. Its violet tail twitched as it towered over the four Sailor Soldiers lying crumpled at its feet. Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus... they had all fallen to Nekonell's whiplike tail and lay groaning on the floor of the abandoned house, unable to muster the strength to get up again.
"Everyone!" Across the room Tsukino Usagi crouched helplessly, cradling Miharu's unconscious form. Usagi was all that stood between the daimon and the child now. Miharu's pure heart crystal had already been proven not to be a talisman - whatever that was - but who knew what Nekonell might do now that its mission had failed?
The daimon twisted around. Its spotted violet tail lashed out, and before Usagi could react, it was wrapped around her neck. The teen kept a firm hold on Miharu even as she struggled to breathe, the impossibly long tail tightening around her throat. Nekonell began to pull Usagi toward itself, dragging her across the floor. Was this how it was fated to end? The Silver Crystal's light gone, her transformation locket unresponsive... After all she had survived, a common monster would get the best of Sailor Moon?
The daimon flicked its wrist, catlike, and the bells on its dress jingled as if mocking its prey - so powerful as a soldier, so helpless as a girl.
Suddenly, the pressure on Usagi's throat was released, the tail dissolving into puzzle pieces that scattered across the floor. Usagi looked up to see a familiar red rose sticking out of the tiles, its petals still quivering from its flight.
"Who is it-nell?" Nekonell demanded, looking up furiously. Usagi knew without looking, the sudden leap of her heart signaling the arrival of her beloved savior.
"Tuxedo Kamen!" she cried with eager relief. He was standing on a high windowsill, arm raised and ready to throw another rose. The red-lined cape of his familiar black tuxedo swirled around him, creating the air of mystery and majesty that had enchanted Usagi from the very beginning.
"Those who toy with pure hearts will someday be brought to justice by pure hearts," Tuxedo Kamen announced. Some found his speeches futile and meaningless, but Usagi never tired of them. It was as if he found all the meaning in the world and knew just how to put it into words that Usagi would understand. New confidence flooded into her. He would always be there to protect her. Even if she couldn't transform, there was nothing to fear.
Tuxedo Kamen leapt down from the windowsill and landed in front of Usagi. She gently laid Miharu down and stood up, but it was too much to hope that he would even glance at her. Tuxedo Kamen was always so focused during battle...
"Nekonell!" The self-named daimon whirled around. Again its tail lashed out. Usagi gasped and shrank back, but Tuxedo Kamen stood firm and assumed a fighting stance. He was always so brave, her Chiba Mamoru, no matter what happened.
The enchanted black cane extended from Tuxedo Kamen's gloved hands, shattering Nekonell's tail as it stretched across the room. Its tip plunged into the daimon's abdomen and pushed it back against the wall. The masked fighter held firmly to his end of the cane, and for a moment, the creature was still, hanging limply over the rod in its stomach.
Then Nekonell smiled. Its red eyes opened, and the foul thing licked its lips, as if savoring the sweet taste of its victory to come. It seized the cane protruding from its middle and snapped it off at the end, causing the rest of the enchanted stick to shrink back to its normal size. The daimon tossed the broken end toward Tuxedo Kamen, who batted it harmlessly away, but when the creature launched itself into the air vicious claws sprouted from its fingers.
Usagi braced herself as Tuxedo Kamen pulled his cape in front of them both. Nekonell came down and struck. The daimon's talons slashed the man's cape to ribbons and swiped his mask from his face. His top hat tumbled to the tiled floor. Clearly the new monsters were just as dangerous to Tuxedo Kamen as they were to the Sailor Soldiers. Usagi cried out, but her protector kept his feet, unwilling to expose her to the enemy.
"Run, Usa-ko!"
Run? Impossible... Usagi was a soldier; it was her job to tell others to run, not to flee herself. She was afraid, but she could not abandon the people she loved.
Nekonell charged again. Tuxedo Kamen threw another enchanted rose and it hit the catlike creature full in the face. For the moment it fell back, the shock of the impact interrupting its deadly onslaught.
"Now, Usa-ko!" Tuxedo Kamen insisted urgently as rose petals filled the air. "At least you should get away from here!" His energy fading, the dark-haired man dropped to the ground, barely managing to remain upright on one knee as his head drooped.
~At least you...~ Could it really be that serious? The Sailor Soldiers had overcome so many enemies. It could not all end here, there was always something... but even the Silver Crystal had gone dark. Still, Usagi could never leave her friends, no matter how hopeless things seemed.
"I can't do that!" Usagi knelt beside her boyfriend and reached out to put her hands on his. He could just as soon ask her to put out the sun. Wherever Mamoru went, she would follow...
A strange phrase; it felt like an echo from far away...
"Hurry and run!" Now Tuxedo Kamen looked at her, and Usagi saw the familiar sadness in his eyes. Mamoru's eyes always seemed sad, even when he was smiling and laughing. Usagi often wondered about it, but there was no time for that now. She knew what he really meant, and knew just as clearly why she could not do what he asked.
"No!" Usagi felt the tears starting in her eyes, but she fought against them, desperate to make her conviction clear. It always came down to this, when things were at their worst. Against normal enemies they all fought together, and the other girls came down hard on Usagi if she did not pull her weight, but when things were at their darkest, all illusion of equality vanished. Tsukino Usagi was the reincarnation of the Moon Princess Serenity, and to her friends, that meant her life was more precious than any of theirs. Again and again Usagi came up against the barrier of that truth, and again and again she fought it.
"I want to protect everyone!" she insisted, tightening her grip on Tuxedo Kamen's hand. "And you, my dear Mamo-chan, too..."
Was this the fate of a Princess? To stand helplessly while her loved ones died to protect her? Tuxedo Kamen's expression softened as Usagi's eyes filled with tears. She might have been a Princess once, but now she was Tsukino Usagi, and she would not accept such a cruel fate. Life was not worth living without Mamoru and her friends, and the duties of a Princess were nothing compared to that. If her loved ones had to fight, Usagi would fight too. If they were in danger, she would protect them.
"I will fight with everyone..."
Usagi was abruptly conscious of her ordinary blouse and plain skirt. If she could not transform into Sailor Moon, how could she protect the people she loved? Why had the light of the Silver Crystal gone out? She had always hated fighting... she had always wished to be an ordinary girl... but if her friends could not be with her, none of that mattered. Being a soldier had always been an unwelcome burden, thrust upon her by destiny, but now, for the first time, Usagi wanted to be Sailor Moon with all her heart.
She raised Tuxedo Kamen's hand in hers and closed her eyes. ~For my beloved Mamo-chan... please, Silver Crystal, shine again! Please, Moon Kingdom watching over me, make me a soldier again! Please... I want to protect the people I love!~
Usagi felt her hands grow hot with a sudden warmth. She heard Nekonell yowl in pain as it charged again and was thrown back by a mysterious force. Somewhere Luna was yelling something, and the warmth was spreading, growing larger until Usagi felt herself pulsing with it. Still, she kept her eyes closed, not wanting to disturb whatever magic was happening. It was keeping her dearest one safe, and for the moment, that was enough.
~I want to fight... to protect my dear Mamo-chan, who I love!~
Usagi opened her eyes to see her beloved opening his as well. Had he been wishing with her, wishing the same thing? Mamoru's clothing had changed. The slashed tuxedo had vanished, replaced by plates of armor and a fresh cape. Usagi's ordinary clothes, too, were gone, replaced by a flowing white dress she knew well. A shadow of their past lives had come to the present, an echo of the time when they had existed as Endymion and Serenity.
The towering marble of the ancient Moon Castle towered over them. Was it all an illusion, or had they been momentarily transported to the Moon? A rosy spark of light burst from the highest tower and soared down to envelop the joined hands of the reincarnated couple. It burst outward, enveloping them both, and the coalesced into something solid that forced their hands apart and hovered between them.
It was a slim rod, longer than Usagi's forearm, bright pink with a gold-edged red heart at its top. Usagi caught her breath, hardly daring to believe it. Had the Moon itself heard her call and sent her a new item? It sparkled between her and Mamoru with unknown power, nearly too dazzling to look at. Mamoru stared at it with amazement to match Usagi's wonder.
"This was born from our combined power?" the reborn Princess breathed. From their love, their mutual desire to protect each other, the reincarnated lovers had summoned a great magic from the distant past.
"The legendary rod..." Luna's voice, filled with stunned disbelief, reached Usagi's ears. It seemed they were all sharing the dream, all experiencing the echo of the long-lost world they had once inhabited.
"The Spiral Heart Moon Rod!" Artemis proclaimed from wherever the cats were standing.
Together, Usagi and Mamoru reached out and took hold of the rod. The illusion was fading, the dark walls of the abandoned house returning around them. Their eyes met. Mamoru seemed to be searching for something in Usagi's face, waiting for her to speak.
"The legendary Spiral Heart Moon Rod?" she repeated. That was an odd phrase... If this was a new item, why would it be legendary? The searching look faded from Mamoru's face.
"Nekonell!"
Usagi snapped back to reality as the long white dress of her past life was replaced by her modern street clothes. There would be plenty of time for her unanswered questions later. Right now, there was an enemy to be defeated, and she was determined to do what she had promised to do. The enemy, shattered into puzzle pieces by the rosy light, was reforming itself and yowling a fresh challenge.
"Usagi! Transform!" Artemis yelled from across the room.
"I'm sure you can do it now!" Luna called.
Usagi seized her transformation locket and discovered the object itself had been transformed. The Silver Crystal had not only restored its strength, but had evolved into a new shape with new power. With this, Usagi knew she could become a soldier strong enough to protect her friends.
"Moon Cosmic Power!" she cried out. The locket opened, and the jewel inside shone with the rosy light of Usagi and Mamoru's shared wish. "Make Up!"
The crystal flashed. Ribbons of warm energy wrapped around Usagi's torso and limbs, forming the sailor suit that gave her the strength to fight. She was going back to war again. She had given up an ordinary life and accepted the fate of a Sailor Soldier... but this time, it was a path she had chosen.
She knew, as she seized the Spiral Heart Moon Rod and shouted the words that would destroy the daimon, that she had made a great sacrifice. With her own will, she had summoned this weapon, and the destiny of a soldier could not so easily be put aside. If her loved ones would be with her, however, it would be no burden.
The echo of her past life flowed through her, and it fueled the new power she wielded, but she would not allow it to control her future. She had been Princess Serenity, a jewel to be polished and protected and given away. Now she was Tsukino Usagi, a girl who understood love and friendship were more important than anything, and would fight to defend what she held dear.
Now she was Sailor Moon.
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It was evening. Pale moonlight shone through the windows of the Tokyo apartment, filling its rooms with a silvery glow. The apartment was modestly furnished, impeccably clean, and quite empty.
The lock clicked and the door swung open. A tall young man with short dark hair walked inside, a lumpy bundle of cloth in his arms. One hand reached toward the light switch, hesitated, then fell away again. Chiba Mamoru strolled into the dark living room and kicked the door shut behind him.
The dark-haired man tossed a top hat and white eye-mask on a chair and held a red-lined cape up to the moonlight. It had been slashed to ribbons, beyond repair. Sometimes he envied the girls' short skirts; at least their uniforms mended themselves. He'd put in an order to his usual supplier in the morning.
Crossing the room, Mamoru sank down on his couch and leaned his elbows on his knees. The events of the afternoon flickered through his mind for what felt like the hundredth time. The daimon. The shimmering Moon Castle. The Spiral Heart Moon Rod. Usagi's wondering expression as she held it. Mamoru buried his face in his hands. He finally had his answer.
Now what would he do with that knowledge?
"Endymion."
Mamoru leapt to his feet. Outlined in the silvery moonlight pouring through the front window was a translucent figure, pale and clothed in a white dress. The window was plainly visible through her body, but every detail of the ghostly image was clear, down to the sad expression on its face. Mamoru's fists clenched at his sides. This was the last person he wanted to see at the moment.
"What do you want?" he demanded roughly.
"Come, now." A faint smile appeared on the transparent face. "Is that any way to treat the woman who was once your Queen?"
A fierce glare darkened Mamoru's face. He strolled to the side of the front window, and reached out for the string that would pull the curtains closed and cut off the moonlight. The spectre's face changed, then, to genuine fear.
"Wait, please!" Queen Serenity cried, reaching out a pale hand in supplication. "I apologize - Prince Endymion."
Mamoru's hand paused in the act of grasping the cord.
"So that, at least, is true then," he said without looking at the image of the dead Queen.
"Did you ever really doubt it?" Serenity said gently. "Your power is beyond that of any human's, and the Golden Kingdom's armor comes to you as easily as your tuxedo and mask. You are the true Prince of Earth."
An angry retort came to Mamoru's mind, but he bit it back. He considered asking why the Queen was here, but he suspected he already knew the answer to that question.
"Why should I listen to you?" he asked instead.
"Because I could have spent this time with my daughter, when she came to the Moon, but I saved my energy to speak to you," Queen Serenity replied. "Because, were it not for me, you would not be here at all," she added a bit reproachfully.
"And I should be grateful for that, should I?" Mamoru said in a low voice, the anger rising in him. "What, exactly, have you given me?"
"I chose you for reincarnation, not the man I had intended Serenity to marry," the ancient Moon Queen replied, her ghostly eyes narrowed. "I have given you my daughter-"
"No, you have taken her from me!" Mamoru snapped. He whirled around to face the former Queen, his dark eyes flashing. The silvery ghost stood stiffly, straightening to its fullest height.
"So, you do know, then," she said calmly.
"How could I not?" Mamoru demanded. "From the beginning, I suspected, from the moment I remembered who I was. Her eyes were so empty... and she would get so upset whenever I tried to call her 'Sere'... but I always had hope that I was mistaken, that she simply preferred to be Usagi and forget about the old days. But today... you know what happened."
"Of course." Queen Serenity nodded. "I sent the rod to you."
"The Spiral Heart Moon Rod," Mamoru murmured, his memory returning to the shining stick that had appeared during the battle with Nekonell. "Even I, a stable hand, could not fail to recognize the legendary magic weapon the Moon Queen used in the wars that forged her kingdom. As soon as it appeared, I knew what it was - what you meant it to be, anyway - the blessing of the Moon on our union." His lips twisted in a wry smile. "A bit overdue, I think." The ghost of the Queen did not argue. "But, to Usagi, it was an alien thing; unknown to her, when she must have seen it personally at least once. It was then that I knew for certain."
"She is still Princess Serenity," the Queen said quietly.
"She is not my Sere," Mamoru countered. "What have you done to her? It cannot have happened naturally; I remember everything, but no one else does. It is the same with the girls, is it not?"
"Yes." Queen Serenity's eyes were clear and calm. Mamoru could almost see a shadow of lavender in them. "The soldiers pledged their eternal allegiance to me, above their other rulers. You, on the other hand, were never truly mine to command. I could not modify your memory."
"You would have," said Mamoru after a moment.
"Yes. I admit it was cruel to leave the truth with you alone. I considered abandoning that piece of the plan when I found you could not be tampered with, but I had to proceed."
"Why?" Mamoru's fists trembled at his sides. How could she speak so calmly of the tainting of five lives?
"Because I failed the first time." The transparent eyes began to sparkle with intangible tears. "It ended in death, and would have again had I allowed the full memories of the events to influence the second chance." An unexpected jolt of sympathy struck Mamoru's stomach, ebbing the edge of the fury away.
"You blame yourself?" It wasn't really a question; the answer was clear on the dead Queen's face.
"I built the society that destroyed them," she said quietly. "I created a world that valued duty over love; a world where the elite were separated from the people they served. It took the death of my beloved daughter to show me I was wrong, about everything."
The anger of years was still bubbling within Mamoru, aching to be released, but he fought it back. There would never be another chance to have his questions answered, and he had many of them.
"What happened, that day?" he asked, anticipation quickening his pulse. "I've heard the story you fed the girls, but we both know that's unreliable." Mamoru's lips twisted with bitterness, but he fought the urge to chastise the dead Queen further.
"Yes," was the response. "You remember things differently than they do. Did you know, Endymion, that the war was over long before the battle even began? From the moment Metalia fell to Earth, it was already too late to save the Silver Millennium. Fate had been changed." Mamoru was confused by this declaration, but he did not interrupt as Queen Serenity turned to gaze up at the dead Moon hanging in the sky.
"The Silver Crystal could have turned it all around, even at the end," she said faintly, "but when I retrieved it from the Crystal Tower, it would not respond to me. There was only one wish it would grant, the wish of its new mistress." The Queen glanced sideways at the tall dark-haired man standing beside her. "Serenity's wish that she could live happily with you."
Mamoru blinked, startled. He had known that Princess Serenity had been learning to commune with the Silver Crystal, but she had never confided in him about this. Now he learned she had loved him so deeply that she had asked the most powerful object in the Solar System for a happy life with him... even over the safety of her own kingdom...
"You understand the implications," the Moon Queen said, recognizing the change that came over Mamoru's expression. "In the world I had created, Serenity's wish could never come true. You had to be reborn on the same planet, in an era when you could live as equals. The destruction of the Silver Millennium came about for that purpose."
Everything seemed to grow cold. A sudden nausea churned within Mamoru's stomach, and he sank down on the couch, speechless. Images of the Moon in ruins surfaced from the shadows of his memories of the past. Because of Serenity's love for him, entire civilizations had come to an end? Miss Amaris, Prien, Misa, Talma... had they all died because the Moon Princess had fallen in love with a stable hand? Mamoru's head was spinning. It could not be true... but the memories of the strange dreams he and Serenity had experienced were as vivid as those of actual events, sometimes even more so. They had been premonitions, signs that their reincarnation was already fated to happen.
And it had all come about from a wish. The same object that had built and protected the Moon Kingdom had destroyed it utterly. Truly, the Silver Crystal was as terrible as it was wonderful, like the computers of the modern age that would just as soon steady a heart rate as pilot a bomb. It all depended on the will of the wielder.
"Serenity did not know what she was doing," the ghost of the Queen said as Mamoru gripped the arm of the couch with a shaking hand. "Her wish was innocent; the fault was mine for building a world where it could not come true. I was part of the wish as well... only by witnessing my daughter's suicide would I accept that I could not change her heart, and realize what needed to be done."
"So it is true," Mamoru murmured. "She..."
He could not bring himself to say the words, to speak of his beloved Sere piercing her own heart with his sword. It had nearly killed him to hear of it, when Usagi told him what she had learned on her visit to the Moon and laughed - laughed! - in embarrassment when she explained what her past self had done. Usagi believed the past was equally as distant and intangible to Mamoru as it was to her, but to the reincarnation of Endymion, it was as if it had happened yesterday. It had pained him nearly to tears to learn his precious love had died by her own hand when he had sacrificed himself to save her, and a part of him had always hoped that detail was part of the lie.
"She would not live without you," the Moon Queen said gently. "Her heart was stronger than mine. It took her death to show me the power of her love for you. Her love might have saved our world, had I not tried to prevent it. It was a dear lesson for the Sailor Soldiers as well. They died protecting you both, although you were already gone. They, too, learned of the strength of love by witnessing your end, and it gave them the power to defeat Beryl and call great force from their elements. But it was too late; Metalia was too strong. The world I had created was destroyed."
"So you sent us to be reborn, in a time and place where we would all be equals," Mamoru reasoned. The ghost of the Queen nodded.
"I finally accepted that you and Serenity belonged together," she admitted with a kind smile. "I chose you for reincarnation instead of the man I believed to be the Earth Prince. I made the Sailor Soldiers ordinary girls, so they would experience love, friendship, and the value of normal lives. They are young, but they have already surpassed their former selves; they have a deep understanding of the people they protect, and a close bond with their Princess that would never have been possible during the Silver Millennium."
"Too close," Mamoru muttered. A sudden flash of suppressed anger surfaced. "You made them the same; you made Sere a Sailor Soldier!"
"Without the Crystal Tower, there is no other way for her to wield the power of the Silver Crystal safely," Queen Serenity explained. "Until she becomes Queen, being a soldier is the best way for her to protect her people-"
"That's easy enough for you to say," Mamoru snapped. "You're not the one who has to support her in a destiny she doesn't want. You're not the one who has to hold her when she cries after a battle, exhausted from the endless war! She isn't like the other girls; she wasn't cut out for this!"
"She wished for it herself." Queen Serenity's voice was like stone, but her eyes were sorrowful. "She may not remember, but she never wanted to be idle while others fought. You saw the proof of that today, in her frustration at being unable to transform. She desires peace, but if her friends must fight, she will do all she can to help them."
"And whose fault is it that she can't remember why she feels that way?" Mamoru growled. Now that the anger was back, it would not go away. The Moon Queen was right about one thing: she was at fault. Queen Serenity was responsible for all the pain Mamoru had suffered as Endymion, and now she was responsible for the agony of his new life without Sere as he remembered her. He had been a loyal subject of the Moon, and his reward was to have everything taken from him.
"What could I have done?" the ghost of the Queen argued defensively. "Serenity all but hated me; the Sailor Soldiers were at each other's throats. There was no trust, no love. If I had allowed them to remember all the ugliness of their past lives, it would all have fallen apart! Without their faith in me, without their belief in the goodness of the Moon Kingdom, the soldiers would never have stood against the enemy. Metalia would have won!"
"So you rewrote history?" Mamoru shot back. "You erased all the experiences that made them who they were?"
"I had to!" Queen Serenity wrung her ghostly hands, clearly finding her task more difficult than she had anticipated. "The Sailor Soldiers have to trust each other. They have to work as a team. Serenity could not rely on them as they were. Besides, you heard what I told you. Could Serenity live with herself if she knew her wish brought about the fall of the Silver Millennium?"
"She is not Serenity," Mamoru snapped, but in his heart he knew the Queen was right. It was dreadful enough knowing the truth himself, and he was innocent of the crime. If Usagi knew what her past self had done, the burden of it would destroy her.
"Is she really so different?" the Moon Queen asked. "I altered the past, but I did not destroy it. My daughter remembers one Prince of Earth, a man she loved dearly but was kept away from. She remembers that you loved her, and that you died for her. Is that not enough?"
"She doesn't remember what created that love," the reincarnated stable hand responded. "She doesn't remember the trials that forged that bond, the obstacles we overcame to hold it together, or the reason behind the roses I throw. The Sailor Soldiers may not remember what I suffered at their hands, but I do, and it keeps me distant from them. Usagi may not remember the promise I made never to take another life, but I am still bound by it, and it makes her battles all the harder! Because of what you've done, we will never be as close as we once were..."
"Can you not let go of the past?" the Queen said quietly. "You are the Prince now; the soldiers respect you, the Princess cares for you even without her memories of the Moon. There have been new trials to bind you together. The old days are long gone; you could forget them as well and move on."
"Someone must remember what you erased," Mamoru said bitterly. "Even if no one else remembers my promise to preserve life, it is no less real, no less meaningful. I slaughtered my own brother. Someone should remember that he lived."
There was a moment of silence as the dark-haired man stared off into a shadowy corner of the room.
"You didn't know," Queen Serenity said after a while.
"That doesn't make it any better. I sometimes wonder if this is my punishment for that crime," Mamoru confessed, indicating the empty apartment with a sweep of his arm. "No parents, no siblings... another life with no family of my own."
"Not forever," the Moon Queen reminded him. "You will have a wife who loves you, my Serenity-"
"She is not Serenity!" Mamoru barked again.
"Usagi, then," the Queen challenged. "Do you not love her?"
The reborn stable hand shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
"Of course I do," he admitted after a moment. "More than anything or anyone, except Sere."
"Because she was once Serenity?" the Queen asked.
Another uncomfortable silence.
"No," Mamoru finally responded. "I loved her before I knew who we were, and I never stopped loving her for a moment, not even when I realized she would never call me 'Endy'. She shines brightly enough on her own, even without Serenity's light within her."
"You have been given a second chance to be happy," the ghost of Queen Serenity said gently. "Do not waste it in regret."
"I try, you must know I do," the dark-haired man replied. "It is hard, to see Sere in her face but not find her in her eyes. I love Usagi, I would not want to lose her either, but I can't forget the echo of our hearts beating as one..." Mamoru's voice cracked. He stopped, and cleared his throat. "Is there... is there any chance she might remember?"
"No."
There was a long pause. Mamoru did not move, and seemed barely even to breathe, but inside him something was breaking, crumbling, crying. Only he would ever know what had been lost. Only he would carry the memory of the miracle romance that had been shattered by the ravages of fate and time. He felt soured, bitter, chained to a light that was a pale imitation of the flame that once had been... but it was not Usagi who was to blame; she was as vibrant and shining as ever. It was Mamoru who was broken, unable to let go of the ghost that haunted his past.
"Why are you here?" he finally asked the spectre in his living room. It was good to know the truth, but these were all things he could have guessed on his own.
"To apologize, firstly." Mamoru snorted, but the voice of the Queen continued on. "I told myself I was treating you with kindness, but that does not excuse my actions, nor those of the people who served me. Prince or not, you were a citizen of the Moon, and I failed as your ruler when I did not protect you. You deserved an explanation, and my sincere regrets." The reincarnated stable hand did not speak. Nothing Queen Serenity could ever say would erase two lifetimes of strife. She had once been his Queen, who he had feared and revered, but now she was nothing more than a shadow of the past projected onto his world.
"Secondly... I have come to ask you not to tell her." The monarch's voice suddenly sounded faint and muffled. Mamoru looked up. The image of Queen Serenity was fading, the power source of the data she had stored on the Moon finally reaching the end of its life.
"Promise me you will keep the secrets of the past to yourself," the ghost pleaded urgently, its fading hands clasped together. "The illusion is kinder than the truth - please!"
Mamoru watched silently as the hologram blended into the stream of moonlight. The image faded smoothly away, dress and hair dissolving into nothingness. Queen Serenity's silver lips moved desperately until the end, even when she could no longer make a sound. In moments, the spectre was gone, and only clear moonlight flowed through the window.
The reincarnation of Endymion, raised a stable hand but rightly Crown Prince of the Golden Kingdom, stood up and walked to the window. He gazed out, not at the Moon, but at the city of Tokyo spreading out below him. In the end, it was the Earth that had won, the only planet that had endured to host the survivors of the others. His planet, thought to be inferior, would be the site of the new Silver Millennium.
Of course, there was no question that Mamoru would keep the secret of what Queen Serenity had done. He had been unwilling to give the ancient Queen the satisfaction of once again manipulating him, but he knew he would take the truth to his grave no matter how long he lived. He loved Usagi, and the fact that she was not the soulmate he had died for would torture her until the end of time if she knew. Mamoru could never do that to a sweet girl who loved him with her entire self, even if he could not respond in kind.
His eyes roamed the patchwork of streets and structures that made up the city his current incarnation called home. The moonlight illuminated Tokyo like Tsukino Usagi illuminated his life. No matter how difficult it was, Mamoru owed it to her to move forward until he could give himself to her as completely as she gave herself to him. She deserved better than the half-heart she held.
The white mask on the chair shone silver in the moonlight, symbol of one of the few events they both remembered. From the very first day in the long-lost garden to the battle of that afternoon, no love was as dearly won as that between Endymion and Serenity. Even cracked, it was a jewel too precious to be abandoned. No matter how many times she was reborn, no matter what form she assumed, Mamoru would always love Princess Serenity. Even if his heart ached until he could feel nothing else, or the world came to ruin and she could no longer recognize his face, Endymion would always protect her.
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The End.
*Author's notes below.*
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Author's Notes
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Well... here we are. After four long years of delays and excuses, "Against All Odds" is finally complete. This is the first time I've ever finished anything with multiple chapters, so it's a new accomplishment for me. I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt I'm glad it's over. xD
Some of you probably want to kill me right now, after reading the second half of this epilogue. ^^;; I feel a bit guilty about it, to be honest, but really it couldn't have ended any other way. I had this resolution planned from the very beginning, when I thought AAO would be only a few short chapters (haha). I imagined it would be another one of my canon-bending explanation fics; fast, interesting, and forgotten... By the time it got as long as it did, and drew people in as much as it did, it was too late to veer away from the cruel finale. Still, I really can't say I'd want it any other way.
Please don't kill me. ^^;;
*distracts you with a little Q&A!*
Q. What's with Endymion having black eyes? His eyes are blue!
A. You're right. Most commonly in canon he does have blue eyes. In many of the manga illustrations, however, his eyes are gray or black. When I started the story I thought it would be mostly manga-centric, so I felt free to choose either one, and went with the black for variety. Plus, it's a lot harder to write love scenes when both characters' eyes are the same color. :P
Q. Why doesn't Venus' glamour work on Kunzite?
A. Because she has genuine feelings for him. I meant to explain that in the story, but somehow it didn't make it in there. True love can't be won by tricks.
Q. When Beryl first encounters Serenity in the Golden City, what was Beryl's incantation supposed to do?
A. Beryl confused the crowd to create a mob Serenity would get lost in, and to gather a larger audience for her unmasking of the Princess. I think the final version of the chapter explains this okay, but several people were confused by the first release, so I'm throwing it in here.
Q. Is Prien Motoki?
A. Not necessarily, but if you want to believe he is, why not? I definitely patterned his physical character after Motoki. At the time I think I was working off the theory that *everyone* from the Moon Kingdom was reincarnated, but by the end it didn't work out that way. Following that pattern, Adele was modeled after Naru, and Talma was based on Reika.
Q. Why do Serenity and Endymion keep dreaming about the future?
A. In the epilogue I explain it away as an indicator of fate (Serenity's dream of Crystal Tokyo was particularly indicative of this), but the truth is, I just felt like it. :3 I thought it would be fun to see how my version of Serenity would react to her future self's life. Endymion's vision was done mainly for equal opportunity reasons. I did have a lot of fun writing those scenes.
Q. So Usagi isn't the same person as Serenity just because she doesn't have her memories? That's silly!
A. Your experiences make you who you are, don't they?
Q. Will there be a sequel?
A. Canon is the sequel. :P
Q. What inspired you to write this story?
A. I hate to admit it, but there's an episode of "Friends" where Joey makes a comment about a stable hand falling in love with a princess. That's what did it. I don't even like "Friends." T_T
Q. What are you going to do now? Are you leaving the fandom?
A. A lot of people seem to think I'm leaving the Sailormoon fandom now that AAO is finished, but that's not quite true. I am planning to move on to other fandoms soon, but I have a few more stories I want to write before I let go of Sailormoon. I'm not coming up with any new SM ideas, but I have existing ones I won't leave without writing. Most notably, I have started what I hope will be my masterpiece as far as SM fandom is concerned: "Fantaisie Sign," which is about a different incarnation of the Sailor Senshi. I'm not sure yet what archives it will be posted on, because I don't know what content and rating it will end up having, but it will definitely be on dotmoon.net when it's done. (That will be a while, though, because I am never EVER again posting an unfinished story. x_x)
Q. Where can we go to tar and feather you - erhm, I mean, to say hi?
A. I'm planning to cut down on the number of archives I post to, but there are a few places I will always be. First is my LiveJournal, http://dejana.livejournal.com/. I always post notices there when I have new stories to share. Secondly, my personal website, dejanatalis.net, hosts all my writing whenever I can be bothered to update it. Other than that, I'm the administrator of dotmoon.net, so I won't be disappearing from there anytime soon. If you're a writer, reader, artist, or just love fandom, we'd love to have you join us at .moon. ^^
Q. Gimme some goodies!
A. That's not really a question :P but okay. ^^ I've created a special website to host "Against All Odds." If you go to http://www.dejanatalis.net/odds/, you can download a PDF e-book of the full story, special cover artwork if you're the fanfic-printing type, and a tribute music video I made to celebrate the completion of the story. Any side stories or fan materials I may end up with will also be hosted there.
Well, that is that! Last but not least, I have thanks to lavish on certain people. First, Ashaela, AKA Ice Princess/The Perpetual Lurker, my primary beta since day one, without whom none of my stories would be what they are. THANK YOU so much for all the help you've given me with this story from the beginning and staying through the end. AAO would not be the accomplishment it is without your input. Also, Sapphiregirl, Superkate, Jason, and Yumeko, all of whom edited and pre-read this story at various times. And Ruminant, my #1 fangirl, who bothered me to finish this story when I felt like everyone had forgotten about it. ;) (Wow, look at me writing a thanks blurb! So many new experiences involved in finishing an epic! xD)
Finally, thanks go out to all of you reading this, everyone who reviewed and commented and emailed and IMed through years of excuses and delays and broken promises (and run-on sentences ;P). Everyone who had the patience to stick with me and read to the very end. I lost a lot of my reader base with my endless procrastination, but there were always a few comments to remind me why I was glad to be writing this. I appreciate it more than words can say, and thank you all. :)
-Dejana Talis
October 28, 2007
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End
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"Against All Odds" fanfiction copyright 2007 by dejanatalis@aol.com
Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon and its associated characters and canon belong to Naoko Takeuchi and Kodansha. The text of this creative work was created by dejanatalis@aol.com and is her exclusive property. Not to be used without permission. Sailor Moon Says: Don't steal! ^.^