Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Bishounen no Mori ❯ More Bishounen, Hoorah! Crazy Adventures at the Karaoke Bar ( Chapter 7 )

Whoooosh! Hi! I'm back with episode 7! Whooooooooosh!

Note: Heh heh, another cameo appearance by one of my real-life friends. This should be the last one (Hopefully). And...*Ahem* I make another cameo appearance, too ^_^;;

"Nagareboshi e," means "To a Shooting Star." It's the title of one of the Sailormoon songs sung by...well, if you don't know, you'll find out ^_^

Yes, you all know I don't own these characters. And you should also know I don't own the other series' that I occasionally make references to. And you should also know I don't own the computer that I'm typing this on! Well, I'm pretty much the only one who uses it, but it's not mine. I wish I had my own computer so I could shove this one out a window...or put it in the middle of a freeway...or put it in the microwave...or throw it in the hot tub...*Spazz dreams of all the wonderful ways to kill her computer.* Ahhhh... (This was written when I had my old computer...I love my new one!)

Completed: 8/15/98 (Last revision: 2001.09.23)* * * * * * * * * *

Bishounen no Mori

Episode 7: More Bishounen, Hoorah! Crazy Adventures at the Karaoke Bar!

Written by: Like, duh! Who else but Sailorspazz?* * * * * * * * * *

"Kunzite-sama, I'm scared!" Zoisite whines, holding onto Kunzite even tighter than before, making him start to turn blue...

"A karaoke bar? Ewww," Hawk's Eye says shuddering.

"Do we really have to go in there?" Jadeite asks, trembling at what might be going on inside. Kunzite falls to the ground unconscious.

"I think we do..." Fish Eye says (Still tied up).

After a couple minutes, Zoisite has revived Kunzite (With mouth to mouth, of course ^_^;;) and they all take a deep breath and walk in. They look around in amazement at everything going on around: People drinking...and drinking...and more people drinking. Then they look up at the stage...and sweatdrop at what's going on. Nephrite and Tiger's Eye, both very drunk, are up there doing a duet of the Oscar Mayer wiener song.

"Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener! That is what I'd truly like to be~~ee! 'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener...Everyone would be in love with meeee~~~eee!!!" They both sing, very loudly and ridiculously off-key. But the drunken audience loves it and they all clap wildly and give them a standing ovation. Nephrite and Tiger's Eye bow and blow kisses to the audience and walk...err, stumble off the stage.

The other guys fall over under the weight of their sweatdrops. After being stepped on by numerous people, they decide it would be wise to stand up again.

As Tiger's Eye and Nephrite walk off the stage, many of the women (and a few men, too ^_^) from the audience try to throw themselves onto them, but they're all so drunk they fall down before they get to them. Carefully stepping over all the drunks now on the floor, our five non-drunken bishounen reach our two muy-drunken bishounen (Note the clever use of Spanish ^_^;;). Tiger's Eye looks at them.

"Hey, I know you!" he says, pointing to Hawk's Eye. "You're Captain what's-his-name from that TV show where people fight all the time! You know...Jerry Springer!" (Note: According to last week's local TV Host, Jerry Springer is the #3 syndicated show ^_^;;).

"Ummm...no, I'm Hawk's Eye, one of your friends. You know, we live in the Forest of Silence in Cephiro...ummm, I mean the Crystal Forest in Elysion." (Heh heh, looks like Hawk's Eye is getting his anime mixed up...or possibly the author has been watching too much Magic Knight Rayearth ^_^;;)

"Uhhhh...OK, Captain Springer," he says, giving Hawk's Eye a salute, while the others sweatdrop.

Nephrite looks at Zoisite and laughs. Zoisite looks at him angrily. "What's so damn funny, ya drunk bastard?"

"Hee hee, hee hee, do you know who you look like?"

"Who?"

Nephrite giggles a bit more then shouts, "YO MAMA!" He and Tiger's Eye fall to the floor, giggling insanely.

"Oooh, looks like one of Captain Springer's friends was majorly dissed, man!" Tiger's Eye says, then continues giggling in his insane manner (If you've seen the SuperS season or Jinnai-sama in El Hazard, you know what I'm talking about ^_^;; You can find some sounds of both of them on the sounds page of my website).

"Damn, how many beers have you guys had?" Jadeite asks, realizing that the author has only given him one line in this episode so far.

"Uhhhhh...what number comes after fifteen?" Tiger's Eye asks.

"Sixteen..." Jadeite says slowly, having to think about it for a second.

"Oh yeah...and, what number comes after that?"

"Seventeen," Jadeite says, proud of himself for remembering how to count (He was in that Eternal Sleep for quite awhile ^_^).

"Uh huh, and after that?"

"OK OK, I get it. You've both had waaaay too much! Shame on you!" Jadeite turns to face the camera. "Beer is a very bad thing to drink. You shouldn't drink it until you are of the required age for your country, and even then, you need to drink responsibly. And when you go to bars, always make sure you have a designated driver! Sailor Moon says! Hee hee hee."

"Augh!!" Fish Eye takes out Umi's Patented Mokona-bashing Mallet™ (Can be used for bashing other things) and hits Jadeite over the head with it. "Don't you DARE go DiC on us, Jadeite!"

"Jadeite? Who's that? I am Jedite, general of the Negaverse."

"Oh no! Don't EVEN go there! Those freaks turned me into a woman!" Zoycite..err, Zoisite screeches.

"Oh no! If this turns into a DiC fan-fic, we won't exist!" Fish Eye shouts (Author update note: This was written loooong before SuperS got dubbed...and well, since DiC wasn't involved in the dubbing, I guess this still makes some sense ^_^).

"Good riddance!" Zoisite shouts, then starts laughing, covering his mouth when he realizes that he had started doing the DiC Zoycite laugh. "Oh no! I don't wanna be a woman again!"

"Yeah, it's not as much fun!" Malachite...I mean, Kunzite says.

"Ahem. Suggestive line alert! We're going to have to edit this!" a voice can be heard saying. "And look at all the drunks! This isn't appropriate for children!" The background begins to fade and all the drunks start turning into happy children dancing around a maypole.

"Oh no, where did that voice come from? And those kids are scaring me!" Zoisite says, his voice now completely in DiC mode.

"Hey, what's going on?" Neflite says, standing up and holding a bottle.

"Hey, weren't you drunk? How can you stand up without falling over?" Fish Eye says, not realizing that he and the other Trio members are starting to fade.

"Drunk? Oh my, no. I've just been drinking this nice, wholesome lemonade here," he says, holding up the bottle.

"That's right," the voice of DiC can be heard saying again, as the bottle of lemonade shakes, "Nice, wholesome, family entertainment."

"Where is that voice coming from?" Malachite says..."Oh no! I've turned into Malachite!"

"Well, my problem's worse than just my name changing! I feel like I'm losing a very important part of myself right now!" Zoy...Zoisite says.

"Mwahahahaha! That's right, no way we'll have homosexuality on Sailor Moon!" The lemonade bottle shakes again.

"Oh darn, (he was trying to say 'damn') I wish we could find that voice!" Hawk's Eye says, so faded now that he looks like a ghost.

The lemonade bottle shakes again as more DiC laughing can be heard.

Suddenly, a brown-haired girl in a green and purple Sailor Fuku (Sometimes you feel like a Namek ^_^) bursts through the door. "Geez, are you bishounen complete idiots?! It's the lemonade! The lemonade! Didn't you notice it shaking everytime the DiC voice talked?!"

"Oh yeah!" Malachite says.

"Yare yare, anime characters are completely clueless..." the girl in the Sailor Fuku says, slapping her forehead.

"Well, come on, Neflite...err, Nephrite. Smash the darn bottle before I completely turn into a woman!" Zoisite yells.

"But, then who's going to clean up the mess?"

"Oh, give me that!" Zoisite (Who has nearly turned into Zoycite) takes the bottle out of Neflite's hands and throws it to the ground. As it shatters, the Amazon Trio re-materializes and the Shitennou go back to normal. But for some reason, the background stays the same, with the children dancing around the maypole.

"Augh! Those children are even worse than the karaoke bar!" Zoisite groans. "How can we get rid of them?"

"Allow me!" the brown-haired girl says, pulling out a metallic silver wand covered with spirals and stars and lots of other crazy shapes.

"What's that?" Fish Eye asks (Who, after all this, is still tied up).

"It's my special Spazz Wand™! (© 1998 Spazz Inc.) Although it's not good for attacking things, it is good for things like changing colors and backgrounds and stuff." She closes her eyes and chants, "Ichi, ni, san, shi, make this scene like it was before Dic!" All the happy dancing children change back into drunks, many of them passed out on the floor.

"Oh, thank you, mysterious stranger. Without you, this would have turned into a DiC fic where we wouldn't be able to have any fun," Jadeite says.

"No problem. I wouldn't want to write a DiC fic anyway...uhhh, I mean, I wouldn't want to be in a DiC fic." She coughs. "Anyway, I'm off! Jaaaa na!" She tries to jump away like anime characters do, but remembers too late that she is not outside and hits her head on the ceiling. The bishounen wince as she comes crashing back down to the floor. She holds her head and looks at them. "Ummm, if you ever tell anyone you saw me, would you mind just snipping out that last part?" She then limps out the door.

"OK...that was pointless," Kunzite says. "What are we going to do now?"

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky! Try to take over the world!" Tiger's Eye says, drunker than a poet on payday now that DiC is gone.

"Oh, come on. Let's just grab these idiots and get out of here. This place is giving me the creeps," Zoisite says, pointing to the stage. Now there is a drunk girl with poofy red-hair singing (what else?) that song about coconuts. (You know, the one Zazu sang in the Lion King. Person reading fic: You mean Zazu Torque? Me: No!! The bird, not that boy from Autozam! *Ahem* Back to the fic...)

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedly dee, there they are a-standing in a roooow!" The girl jumps off the stage and gets on top of a table and starts dancing, and continuing to sing, "Big ones, small ones, some as big as your hee~~~eead!" She tries to take off her shirt, but security guards get to her and drag her away before she can. As they're dragging her away she screams, "You can't do this! I am Princess Missesity! Waaaaah!" (There, Missy got a part. Now, that should be the last one!)

"Uhhhh, OK, that sounds like a good idea," Kunzite says. "Zoisite and I will get Tiger's Eye. Jadeite and Hawk's Eye, you get Nephrite."

"How am I supposed to get Nephrite when I'm carrying Fish Eye?" Hawk's Eye says.

"Uhhh...well..." Kunzite tries to think of another plan. He looks at Fish Eye to ask him something, but notices that he's staring up at the karaoke stage with large hearts in his eyes.

"Oh wow, those guys are soooo hot!" Fish Eye says, the hearts in his eyes beating. The other bishounen look up at the stage to see what he's talking about. Up on the stage, there are three boys who look to be about 16 years old. Each of them has long hair that they keep in a ponytail. They are extremely handsome, even beautiful...Yep, you guessed it, they're more bishounen. But not just any bishounen ^_^ (Come on, you should know who they are by now!)

"Good evening, everyone," the black-haired one says. "The three of us just started a band, and we're trying to get more popular."

"Yeah, hopefully, with our looks, we can be an idol band!" the white-haired one says.

The one with brown hair sweatdrops. "Yes, well anyway, my name is Taiki Kou."

"My name is Yaten Kou!" the white-haired one yells.

"And I'm Seiya Kou," the black-haired one finishes. "Together, we are..."

"The Three Lights!" all three of them shout together.

"We hope you like our first song, entitled 'Nagareboshi e,'" Seiya says. "Hit it!"

"Search for your love!" They start singing, and the crowd is amazed that they're actually good (Probably because they're not drunk, like all of the previous performers had been). The members of the crowd who are not passed out on the floor try to throw themselves on stage, but are once again too drunk and they all trip. By now, everyone in the audience is passed out on the floor except for our lovely bishounen.

"Oh my oh my oh my!" Fish Eye yells. "I MUST have them!" He looks up at Hawk's Eye pleadingly. "Oh, please untie me! I promise I won't go back and try to get Mamo-chan! I am SO over him!"

"Wow, that took all of twenty minutes..." Zoisite says in the background, but Fish Eye doesn't even care about Zoisite's comments right now...he's found his next targets.

Kunzite answers for Hawk's Eye. "Yes, untie him. Then you can help get Nephrite out of here."

Hawk's Eye sighs. "Why do I always have to do all the work? I've been carrying Fish Eye around for hours, then I finally get to put him down, and now I have to help lug Nephrite around..." He puts Fish Eye down and unties him. "What do I do with this rope?"

"Let me keep it," Zoisite says, grinning at Kunzite. "We might get some use from it."

Kunzite grins while the others look sick, not wanting to imagine what plans Zoisite and Kunzite have for the rope...

"OK, so where are we taking these drunk bastards, Kunzite-sama?" Zoisite asks, getting back on subject.

"Well, we have to get to somewhere where we can teleport without being seen."

"But why? Look around! Everyone here is passed out, except those guys on stage, and I doubt they're paying attention to us."

"Well, I guess you're right, hon. All we have to do is hold onto them while we teleport." Kunzite and Zoisite hold onto Tiger's Eye, while Jadeite and Hawk's Eye hold onto Nephrite.

"Fish Eye, aren't you coming with us?" Hawk's Eye asks.

"No, I'll be there later," Fish Eye says, not taking his eyes off the Three Lights.

"Well, just remember, if you come home with Mamoru, we get to kill both you and him!" Zoisite yells.

"Uh huh..." Fish Eye says, nearly slipping in his own puddle of drool on the floor.

Six of our bishounen teleport away, leaving Fish Eye and the Three Lights alone in the karaoke bar (The drunks don't count because they're unconscious). When they finish their song, Fish Eye claps wildly and cheers. "Whoooohooo!! Yeah, you're the greatest! Go Three Lights, go! I love you, Three Lights!!"

"Hey, why is that girl the only one cheering?" Yaten asks. "Stupid unconscious people..."

"I think you just answered your own question, Yaten," Taiki says, sweatdropping again.

"Hmmm, she's cute though," Seiya says. "Maybe she's our princess."

Taiki sweatdrops. "Seiya, you think every cute girl is our princess. You never seem to think that polite or intellectual girls could be our princess," he mutters.

Seiya ignores him. "Hey you, come over here!" he yells to Fish Eye.

Fish Eye walks up to the stage. "Hi there, Seiya."

"Hey there, gorgeous." Fish Eye blushes. Seiya smiles at him. "What's your name?"

"Uhhh..." Fish Eye struggles to think of a fake name. He can't use the one he used with the Senshi earlier, because it was a guy's name. He wants the Three Lights to think he's a girl. "My name is...Tsukino Usagi." He nearly slaps himself after saying that, but realizes it doesn't matter anyway. Soon, they'll found out everything about him.

"Hmmm. Cute name for a cute girl." Fish Eye blushes again.

'This Seiya is certainly a smooth talker...that Taiki guy looks smart...and Yaten has a cool attitude. I want all three!' Fish Eye thinks. 'I need to get them all together,' he thinks. Then he gets an idea. "Hey, could all three of you stand together? I want to get a picture."

"Hey, anything for a pretty girl...and I do mean anything," Seiya says, winking at Fish Eye.

Yaten sighs. "Seiya is such a flirt. I bet he's already forgotten why we came to Earth." He stands on Seiya's left, while Taiki stands to Seiya's right.

Fish Eye reaches behind his back and conjures up a special camera...a hypnotizing camera. He holds it up. "Now, look directly into the lens." The Three Lights do what he says and notice that it starts to swirl around in a spiral. They feel like their personalities are being sucked right out of them and being replaced with nothing but loyalty to someone named Fish Eye...except for Seiya.

"Wha...what's going on?" Taiki asks. "I feel...powerless..."

"That's right." Fish Eye grins. "You are now under my control. You will do whatever I say."

"OK," Seiya says.

Fish Eye sweatdrops. It seems Seiya had already been willing to do anything Fish Eye wanted without even being hypnotized. "Anyway, now I will tell you three all about myself. My real name is Fish Eye. I live in the Crystal Forest in the world of Elysion. I am brainwashing you so you three will do anything I tell you to...and I mean anything."

"Hey, have it your way, baby. I'll do anything for you...or anything to you," Seiya says winking.

Fish Eye sweatdrops again, starting to wonder if he has brainwashed Seiya, or if that's really him talking. "Well, you may not have noticed, but I'm a guy."

"Fine with me, babe. As long as you're cute."

Fish Eye can hardly believe it. Usually he has to brainwash guys to do what he wants, but he can tell from Seiya's eyes that he isn't brainwashed. When he looks at Yaten and Taiki's eyes, he sees they have the Trademark Brainwashed Look™, but Seiya's eyes are completely normal. He thinks this is too good to be true, so he decides he shouldn't completely trust Seiya yet. It could be a trap of some sort. He can't think of why someone would want to trap him, but he needs to be cautious anyway. It was just too easy to get Seiya onto his side...He looks at the other two and decides to test them. "Hey, Taiki, Yaten. Who is your master?"

"It is you, Fish Eye-sama," they both reply.

"Good. Now, you're all coming back to live at my place until I get tired of you...Just kidding! But really..."

"All right! Maybe when we get back to your place, we can have some real fun!" Seiya says. "How do we get there?"

"Well, we're going to teleport. You'll all have to hold onto me."

"No prob. Where do you want my hands to go?" Seiya asks, grinning suggestively. Fish Eye can't help but blush.

"Ummm, anywhere you want, you just have to be touching me." Taiki and Yaten each put one of their hands on Fish Eye's shoulders, while Seiya wraps his arms around his waist. He looks into Fish Eye's eyes and smiles again. Fish Eye stares back at him for a moment, but then pulls himself back into reality. 'Something is wrong...why is he so willing to do anything I want him to?' Fish Eye thinks. Out loud, he says, "Let's go!" And they all teleport back to the living room of the house in the Crystal Forest, bringing surprise to the six other residents...* * * * * * * * * *

Well, that's the end of episode 7! Through all the vacations, working, and slacking off, I finally managed to write it ^_^ Hope it was worth the wait (doubtful...) Oh, one note: Seiya doesn't recognize the name "Tsukino Usagi" because he hasn't met her yet. Yeah, I know that the Three Light's were supposed to arrive in Tokyo in episode 173, but it's my fan-fic! I can have them arrive whenever I want! Well, anyway...how do you think the other bishounen will react to Fish Eye's new brainwashed (Well, two of them) slaves? Is Seiya really up to something, or does he just think Fish Eye is cute? Will the next episode take me less than two months to write? (Hopefully! Even I'm getting tired of waiting for myself to write!) Find out in the next exciting episode of Dragonball Z...ummm, I mean Bishounen no Mori...Maybe I need to cut back on anime....*Shakes up Magic Eight Ball* Is there any chance of me cutting back on anime?

Eight Ball: "My sources say no...in fact, you'll be getting even more anime soon!"

Me: Hmm, I don't remember that message being on the Eight Ball...*Looks at box* Oh, this is a special Anime Otaku Eight Ball...oops, this episode is supposed to be over, isn't it? Cut, cut! *Static*

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