Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ SgAltima Presents: Dear Diary ❯ To Run From Love: February 11th, 2000 ( Chapter 7 )

Author's Note:

Muahahaha!! *smiling enigmatically*

Far be it from Hino Rei-san to use Usagi for pleasure... or is it...

Find out now as...

SgAltima Presents:

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I wanted to write a short little entry before Minako and I leave. She's decided that the only way for me to snap out of my "funk", as she calls it, is to go on an ultra-fabulous cruise for three weeks. She bought fare for us on a new cruise liner, the Emerald Dolphin. It's supposed to have the best of everything available today on cruise ships. Minako converted ten thousand American dollars for us so that we could go shopping endlessly on the boat. And she says she's still bringing her credit cards. In some ways, Minako has never really changed all that much, but it doesn't matter. She made me smile.

Rei still hasn't called me or anything. But I know she's alive. I can feel it in my heart. A heart that is turning bitter towards her. I'm ashamed of what I've done. Oh well, Mamoru says that there is a lesson to be had in everything. Minako wanted him to come along with us on the trip. Thankfully, he declined. I confessed to him everything that had happened, and he has been surprisingly understanding. I feel like we are friends for the first time instead of just together by the ties of Fate.

Anyhow, the ship sails in 12 hours, but Minako has to arrive early so that she is not mobbed by her chasers. Anyways, I'll probably write again once I'm aboard the Dolphin.

I'm aboard the Emerald Dolphin and we are cruising out towards the sea. But my heart is back in Japan, and I cannot help but to cry endlessly yet again. Makoto and Ami came to see us off, and as the ship began to slowly move out of the harbor, I saw my love run into the pier. She looked right at me, and pierced my cold, dead heart with the light in her eyes I've cherished for so many years. She turned and walked away just as quickly, and I could not even stand. Minako had to help me back to our suite... I asked her if I could be alone for a while, and she allowed me that... but I know she will try her hardest to make me have a good time. Maybe this is what I need.

Maybe I need to banish Hino Rei from my heart. That is what I will do. This trip will be a liberation from my former self into the new Usagi I will create for myself.

Minako has come for me. I'll write more later tonight.

I'm back, Diary. It's been almost a day since I left with Minako. She's so popular, and everyone on the cruise knows her. I've become popular just because I'm her friend. I feel scandalous, Diary!! I used that popularity to my advantage, and seduced... well... not like it's particularly hard to seduce a young man.

I feel so awful. He was so kind and gentle to me, the way any girl would cherish from a man, and I feel violated. I feel like I have betrayed my heart. It was pleasurable, but now I feel more empty inside than ever.

Why did Rei have to show up at the docks, Diary? Just as I felt my heart could finally start to heal, she comes and burns the wounds of my soul with her fire.

I'm too tired to write anymore. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up.

My heart's desire is to die.

Tsukino Usagi