Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ SgAltima Presents: Dear Diary ❯ Settling For Another? February 25th, 2000 ( Chapter 9 )

SgAltima Presents:

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Minako made love to me.

Again... and again... and again.

And now I'm back at home. This past week has been so filled with things, and I don't even know where to start. When Ikuko first gave me this journal, I told her that my life was so boring, I wouldn't know what to write. I was wrong. I don't know what NOT to write.

Yes... Minako and I made love. Almost every night since my last entry, we've been together in my bed. She and I have talked about it, too. It's so strange in a way. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and reach out for her, and the surprise is that she is actually there. In some ways, I think that I'm dreaming, and that none of this is happening. She fills the void in my heart where Rei left me feeling empty.

She hasn't told me she loves me, and I am grateful. I don't know if I could look at her and give her an honest answer... How hard is it to know you don't want to lie to someone, but you're afraid to tell them the truth as well. I do love her, just not like that. Maybe not yet. She was very kind and gentle with me. She and I also have a lot of common interests now in our music... we could be very compatible.

I am selfish, Diary. I love the way she makes me feel. I crave her selfless attention to my pleasure, and how she is so slow, but insistent in exploring me. It's not that I don't return the favor, and not that I don't like doing it, but I so look forward to having her tongue tease my private area. She is so good at it... I wonder if I am her first girl. I suppose it really doesn't matter.

She is very cute when she sleeps. I can't help but smile as I think of our nights together. She asks me to hold her! She fits her body perfectly against mine every time, and then makes the cutest sound every time, and falls asleep immediately... every time! I've come to look forward to it, actually. I feel wanted... needed...

All of those things that I want from Rei.

I want her to need me, to want me... I want her to ask those things of me, but I know that she will not. Rei does not need to feel protected. She would probably be the dominant one in our relationship. She is so strong...

There I go again! I frown thinking of how completely wrapped up I am in her. Anyways...

I went to see Rei at her temple the day we got back. She was actually there this time, and told me she had been waiting for me to arrive. I wonder about that...

She and I talked for a very long time, and I couldn't hardly look up at her for nearly the entire time. She told me that she had been confused... that I had caught her off-guard during a time when she and Yuuichiro were experiencing stress in planning their marriage. I told her plainly that she wouldn't have done it if she didn't want it, and then she said something that caught ME off-guard.

She told me that I had no room to come down on her, because she had loved me for years while she was forced to stand by as Mamoru and I fawned over each other. That I had no right to come between her happiness with Yuuichiro just because I "just right now" decided that I didn't want Crystal Tokyo in my future.

I screamed at her that Yuuichiro could have her. Rei just stared at me as I accused her of using me to get what she had lusted after for so long so she could marry Yuuichiro with no regrets. And she slapped me...

Not only did she slap me... but Ami and Makoto walked in just as she did it. Ami ran over to my defense, but Makoto told her to stay out of business that she wasn't involved in. Ami didn't even say anything back and she walked me out of the temple, a tearful mess. Now Makoto and Ami are fighting... Rei and I are fighting... I have had enough of this. Everyone is taking sides.

Although I can't believe Makoto would side with Rei over this. But then Ami told me everything. That Makoto knew what was happening from the start, that Rei and I had slept together, that Rei was going to take a journey to "purge" me from her heart, and that Makoto invited Rei to the pier when Rei confessed that she rid herself of her love for me.

Damn you, Mako-chan... You have made this so much worse than it had to be.

Father finally finished the stairway that leads up to my apartment, and so I let Ami and myself in quietly, trying to avoid them until later. Ami came with me into my room, and the door to my bathroom was open with the shower running. When Ami looked at me with that questioning look she has, I simply told her that Minako hadn't gone home yet.

And then she smiled at me and asked me if I was considering replacing Rei with Minako. She sat down on my bed, and I joined her. Minako started to sing one of her songs off of her debut album, "Love Chain". Ami smiled and stifled a laugh. I looked at Ami, and confessed everything that happened. Ami just nodded as I spilled my guts and then looked at her watch.

I was puzzled until she pointed at the bathroom where Minako had been showering for at LEAST 30 minutes. I laughed quietly, and Ami got up and grabbed her purse on her way to the door. She said to me that she would support me in whatever I chose, whatever the situation... all this before she turned and smiled, saying that Minako was probably lonely.

I don't know how Ami ever came out of her shyness... I can't ever imagine a time before now when she would ever say anything like that to ANYBODY. But she was right, though.

I went into my bedroom and locked the door. I heard the water shut off as I began to shed my clothing. I closed the shades and laid down on my bed as Minako opened the door to the bathroom, equally naked. She truly is beautiful... I can remember every curve of her, framed in the light of the bathroom. She really is the spirit of the goddess of love.

She came over to me and got down on her knees, starting to kiss and touch me. It was heavenly. She's learned so quickly every vulnerable spot on my body, those little areas that make me quiver and my hormones race.

I was expecting a long, slow lovemaking, but I was so wrong... Minako made me sit on my butt and lifted one of my legs. I gasped as she slid her right leg under my left, and wrapped her left leg over my right and around my waist. She began to grind herself against me so slowly, teasing me... I thought I would die.

She pushed me down on my back and continued to rub her labia against mine. I cried out loudly as I felt my orgasm rip through me mercilessly, and I could feel my inner fluids spilling out and coating her crotch and my bedsheets. And then she came on me, lifting me back into a sitting position and wrapping her arms around me as her body convulsed.

She slowed and started to release me, but Diary, I wasn't done! I so nearly wasn't done... I slid my left hand down between her legs and slipped my thumb inside of her, and then held her to me with my other arm. She was sensitive after she came, and I remember such a feeling of power as she cried out my name. Like I owned her, she was all mine to do with as I pleased... it was almost scary.

And then Ikuko knocked on the bedroom door!

I was so upset!! I got up and quickly wrapped a robe around me and opened the door a tiny crack. She told me she heard a scream and was wondering if I was okay. I told her that I was just fine and thank you for checking, but then she started to push on the door.

She asked me if I was sure, and if she could make sure everything was alright. Minako had long since covered up and hidden in the bathroom, but I wasn't going to let my mother in. The room smelled of what Minako and I had been doing.

I told her everything was fine and that I was going to bed. And then I just shut the door! I sure have changed a lot myself... It felt good to just tell her no for once.

I walked over to the bathroom, my robe hanging slightly open. I laughed as I saw Minako hiding behind the shower curtain. She smiled sheepishly as I extended my arm... and this time, I told her to come to bed with me.

My heart's desire is just to be happy. Maybe I can have that with Minako.

Tsukino Usagi