Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Inner Demons ❯ Chapter 4: Drifting ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Title: Inner Demons - Chapter 4: Drifting
Pairing: Gojyo/Sanzo (naturally)
Rating: Mostly Worksafe
A/N: So...once again major alterations to the (mental) outline of this story have been made, mainly due to this entire chapter...I seem to have gotten lost along the path I'd mapped out and wandered onto Memory Lane instead, giving it an entire chapter all to itself. Whee.
Length: 10980 words

Disclaimer: Oh, if only I owned them.

Warnings: implied 5x3, angst, innuendo, and general potty-mouth. And remember kids, it's YAOI, so no likie, no readie.

ALSO: Dreams...italics...I hope you know the drill by now, 'cause there's lots in this one.

Inner Demons

Chapter Four
Drifting


Konzen was so not amused. "Did you actually want something, or are you just trying to piss me off?" He glared pointedly over a legal document at the lanky, black-clad general who was currently invading his office. And his desk. He reached around Kenren with bad temper to grope for a fresh pen, ignoring the cheeky grin that was sent his way.

"What, am I not allowed to come see you while you're working? I didn't think you were so devoted to your job, Sunshine." Kenren's smile widened and he stretched to lay across the length of Konzen's desk, propping himself up on his elbow, eyes glittering as he watched the bureaucrat's rage spike sharply as all of his papers crunched under Kenren's mass and his inkpot toppled onto the floor with a smash.

"Damn it all!" The blonde flared, slamming his hands on his desk and pushing to his feet with enough force to send his chair falling over with a clatter. "Would you stop! Get the hell out of my hair and bother someone else!"

Kenren leered up at his irate lover. "Nope."

Konzen felt as if his head was about to explode as he stammered in his exasperation, his fisted hands twisting brutally into his silks (all to Kenren's utmost amusement) before finally regaining a shred of composure and asking in a voice of deadly calm, poison lacing every syllable, “And why the fuck not?"

Kenren's leer intensified and he snagged his free hand in the front of Konzen's silks, dragging the startled man down for a quick, heated kiss that had a flush rising up the bureaucrat's neck and his blood running hotter, blanking his mind for an instant.

"Because," the general said in a low, sultry voice that had Konzen's breath hitching, "You're the only person I want to play with." Kenren licked at Konzen's lips and had the blonde's eyelids fluttering shut as what sounded suspiciously like a whimper escaped his throat.

Fuck,Konzen cursed at himself, at the treacherous throb growing in his trousers and at the fact that he seemed to have half-crawled onto his desk in front of Kenren without realizing it. He drew a shaky breath and opened his eyes to glare heatedly at Kenren's grin. "Do you have to be so excruciatingly annoying?"

Kenren's expression turned a touch wicked, impish, and he nipped the blonde's nose. "Absolutely."

Konzen's nostrils flared and his left eye twitched. If he wasn't mistaken he could swear he felt a vein working in his forehead as well. "Why?" he ground out harshly, his fingers curling menacingly into the collar on the general's jacket, his knuckles white.

The smile on Kenren's face grew wider as if he were entertaining a private joke as he poked a very unhappy Konzen between the eyes, completely unconcerned with the fact that he was being half strangled by Konzen's grip on his coat. "Because you're oh-so utterly irresistible when you're all riled up," he stated in a tone of voice that was very matter-of-fact.

All Konzen could do was stare at that handsome, laughing face. He didn't know whether he should punch him or kiss him.

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Gojyo's head snapped up abruptly, jolted by a soft groan from the other side of the tent. Nodding off? He hadn't been nodding off, how ridiculous...He blinked blearily and rubbed at his eyes, sparing a moment to pull back the tent flap and see the pale light of dawn before crawling across the ground to kneel next to the invalid Genjo Sanzo.

He stretched a tentative hand towards that fair head before carefully brushing his fingers across his sweaty forehead. The monk's skin was still much too warm, and he did not stir at Gojyo's touch confirming the kappa's suspicious that Sanzo was just dreaming again, not regaining consciousness. Figures. Gojyo would have been lying if he had said he wasn't a little disappointed.

He picked up the cloth that had fallen off of Sanzo's brow sometime during the hours he had been "not dozing" and resituated it after dunking it in the bowl of cool water again. Gojyo stroked Sanzo's hair for a moment after, before remembering he shouldn't do things like that, and was moving to crawl back to his side of the tent to stare at the blonde and not brood too much when Sanzo made another sound.

Gojyo froze mid-crouch and turned his head to gaze over his shoulder. Sanzo was frowning, his head turned towards him, the cloth slipping down onto his pillow again, and was mumbling. He mirrored Sanzo's expression, and after a moment's hesitation turned back and leaned in close enough to hear what he was saying.

"Damn it all..."

Gojyo sat back and stared at the monk. What the hell was he dreaming about? Sanzo's frown deepened and so did Gojyo's. The blonde tossed his head to the other side and mumbled something else, his fingers fisting into his blankets tight enough to rip them.

Gojyo bit his lip. What is it with these fucking dreams of his? Fever probably doesn't help, He reached a careful hand and smoothed out the furrows in Sanzo's forehead with his fingers, a spark of warm pleasure flaring through him and a smile sliding across his face when he seemed to settle and let go of the blankets. Until he whimpered.

Gojyo jerked his hand back and stared at the incapacitated monk, his eyes wide and his mouth dry, a different heat curling in his belly. Fuck... He knew that kind of whimper, way too fucking well. The kappa licked his lips and swallowed, his eyes locked on to the monk's face as another soft sound slipped past his lips and his brow furrowed again, an expression that bordered on frustration and...well, Gojyo couldn't rightly think about that without making this situation any harder for himself. Literally.

Shit shit shit, He needed to get out of there. There was no fucking chance Gojyo was going to try waking the damn monk up again, because that had gone over so fucking well last time, but there was no way he could just sit his happy kappa ass in the damn tent and listen to Sanzo making those noises. But he couldn't just leave him, could he? Fuck!

For once, it seemed like the Merciful Goddess wanted to smile upon Gojyo, in the form of a disturbance outside. The redhead thanked his lucky stars for the excuse to leave the tent and was up and outside, tense and looking for the source of the clatter and curse that had snapped him from his reeling, dangerous thoughts. He let out a breath and relaxed when he spotted a sleep-rumpled Goku looking around the campsite in a state of confusion, the empty cook pot he had tripped over in his hands.

Spotting Gojyo, he padded over to him, the pot tight in his grasp. "Where's Hakkai?"

Gojyo scratched at the back of his head, registering the unasked question of, "Where's breakfast" before reluctantly answering, "Asleep."

Goku shot him a frown that was eerily reminiscent of Sanzo (He spends too much time around him...) and crossed his arms over his chest, pot still in hand. "Why?"

In general conversation this would have seemed like a stupid question; most people liked to sleep in the early morning. But Gojyo knew exactly what Goku meant. Hakkai was, almost as a general rule, always the first member of the ikkou awake, and if the situation warranted it, cooking breakfast, unless some outstanding circumstances kept the healer in bed. As far as Goku knew, thanks to his disgusting ability to sleep through anything, there were no such circumstances.

Gojyo sighed. He really didn't want to explain and watch the ensuing freak-out. Why did Hakkai have to be a dumbass...? the kappa asked himself in a whine, knowing full well it was that that dumbass-ery had very well probably been the thing to save the shitty priest's life.

"Ah..." Gojyo scratched at the back of his head again, looking up around the tree canopy where he could hear birds twittering, "There were some complications last night. With Sanzo." The kappa watched warily out of the corner of his eye as Goku's face paled, his eyes growing wide.

"Whaddaya mean complications?" he asked in a tight voice.

Gojyo bit his lip and with a big sigh looked the monkey in the eye, his face weary. "His heart stopped late last night, and--" Gojyo jumped a foot in the air and swore loudly when the pot Goku had been holding clanged loudly as it slipped from the kid's hand. "Damn it, are you trying to wake the whole fucking forest?" he shouted.

Goku had gone white and trembling, his eyes dilated in fear. "B-but you-you just said--"

"You didn't let me finish! Yeah, his heart stopped, and Hakkai went and drained himself to get it started again, so there's no telling when he's going to be up! The stupid monk is fine, all right? He's unconscious, and having stupid fever dreams, but he's fine. I stayed up with him all night to make sure nothing else happened and Hakkai's been out of it. And I can't believe you didn't wake up with all of the fucking noise we were making last night when the asshole crashed." He swiped a hand through his hair in irritation, watching the color flood back into Goku's face and his muscles unclench.

"Oh," he said weakly, his hands pulling at the hem of his shirt.

"Hmph," Gojyo grunted. "Yeah, while you were drooling on your pillow and dreaming about meat buns we were scrabbling to resuscitate that trigger-happy jackass."

Goku scowled at him, another expression that closely mirrored said trigger-happy jackass. "Well excuse me for not hearing." He scuffed his foot around in the dirt and folded his arms across his chest. "D'ya...d'ya want me to watch him for a while so you can, I dunno, get some sleep? It sounds like you've been up all night."

Gojyo blinked at him. "I...yeah, sure, kid, if you want to. It's not real exiting though, I can tell you that. Just keep him settled, 'cause he's kind of restless even when he's unconscious, and keep an eye on his fever. He...he keeps mumbling in his sleep, so don't be surprised by it. Can't understand what he's saying half the time anyways."

Goku nodded and Gojyo thanked his pathetic luck for the chance to get away from that oh-so potent temptation that he was half-certain was still moaning in the tent, a goddamned unconscious tease.

Before Goku could duck under the tent flap Gojyo caught his arm. "Thanks, Goku. And come get me if he wakes up, or if something changes, okay?"

Goku smiled at him. "Yeah. If I need anything I'll come kick you, don't worry about that." He waved the redhead off and disappeared.

Gojyo shook his head and stumped past the remains of the campfire to stick his head in on Hakkai, who by all appearances looked blissfully unconscious, Hakuryuu curled protectively on his chest, before crawling into the tent Goku had vacated and flopping into the nest of pillows and blankets with a "fwump".

He sighed in relief at the blessed silence and seclusion, of being able to fall asleep without feeling guilty about it, but found himself plagued by thoughts of the blonde terror that had rooted his way into Gojyo's heart and mind. Damn it. Gojyo groaned and rolled over onto his back and gazed balefully at the canvas roof of the tent, dappled in shadows cast by the early morning sun. He could run away from Sanzo all he wanted, but there was no hiding from himself.

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Goku was cautious as he entered the tent, and startled by the amount of relief he felt when he saw for himself Sanzo sleeping fitfully on his pallet. Alive. Without really thinking about it he knelt beside the monk and reached fingers to trace over his sweaty brow, feeling utterly at peace when just a moment ago, he had for an instant, been so lost in despair.

He picked up the rag that looked as if it belonged on Sanzo's forehead and replaced it, adjusting his blankets as well, his golden eyes turning cloudy after his moment of calm. "You tried to leave," he said, "you were going to leave me." His voice was small and tremulous. His fingers clenched into Sanzo's good shoulder, his throat tight. Somewhere deep in his mind, the words felt vaguely familiar.

Goku jolted when Sanzo's eyes fluttered open and focused weakly on his face, but he noticed that the violet depths were strangely shadowed and faraway, as if the monk really wasn't there, really wasn't seeing him.

"Don't...be stupid...monkey..." he mumbled, before he shifted somewhat restlessly in his blankets and his eyes slid shut again.

Goku stared in astonishment, his mouth hanging halfway open, as Sanzo seemed to settle back into unconsciousness. He shut his mouth with a soft click of teeth and sat back on his heels trying to process what had just happened and what he should do.

He mulled on it for a few minutes, and in the end decided that the odd little episode that had just occurred didn't seem much different than Sanzo's other sleep-talking, despite the eeriness of what he had said, thinking He must have heard me or something,> as a shaky justification, and that for now, he'd let sleeping kappas lie.

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Konzen was not one for hide and seek. He'd spent plenty of time hiding from people, certainly, for his own devices, but this act of seeking one who did not wish to be found, Just to fucking piss me off,was nothing short of infuriating.

"Damn it, where the fuck are you?" he shouted into the trees. Beyond him, he could see the edge of the field of flowers that Goku had dragged him to, could see the child flitting through the high grass and blossoms and laughing as he chose which ones to pick. Around him, resounding through the trees, he could hear another laugh, a taunting childish laugh that was seriously grating on his nerves as it echoed through the trees making him unclear of the exact origin. "Kenren!"

The laughter echoed about him again, seemingly closer this time. "Get your ass out here, I mean it! I didn't let you tag along on this field trip so you could just act like a damn child and drive me up the wall! Gokuis better behaved than you!"

"Now that's just mean, comparing me to the monkey," a low sultry voice breathed into Konzen's ear. The blonde yelped and nearly jumped out of his skin. Kenren laughed and pulled a snarling Konzen against his chest. "Did I scare you? I'm sorry." He pressed a soft kiss against his cheek, still shaking with laughter, holding the bureaucrat tight against him.

Konzen wrenched out of the general's arms, fuming (mostly at getting caught off guard), and smacked Kenren's shoulder. "You unbelievable jackass!"

"Aww, don't be like that," Kenren smiled and reached for the blonde, but Konzen only sneered at him and stomped off in the other direction into the trees. "Hey, come back! I said I was sorry,"

Konzen just rolled his eyes and headed further into the trees, away from the annoyance of his lover. He growled when a strong hand caught his arm, but failed in his sharp retort when he was spun about into a searing kiss that stole all words and all breath, leaving him boneless and compliant in Kenren's arms. A very smug looking Kenren's arms. Damn it.

"Temper temper," Kenren tutted, a grin spread wide across his face, his dark eyes glittering. "However can I get you to forgive me, hmm?" Konzen's eyes widened as the grin turned to a leer.

"Wait just a damn secon--mmhm!" Konzen tried to jerk away before submitting to the fire of Kenren's kiss, and barely noticed that he was being backed against a tree. A low, pleased rumble emitted from Kenren's chest when Konzen stopped fighting and twined his fingers into inky hair and moaned his approval as lips trailed his jaw and skimmed across the sensitive patch of skin at the juncture.

Maybe,the small part of Konzen's mind bearing the label Libido said hopefully, we can have another outdoors encounter...as hands began tearing at his silks in search of skin. All until--

"Konzen!"

Shit, Goku.Libido instantly deflated and sulked back into his corner, grumbling.

"Konzen? Where'd you go? Konzen!"

Kenren hadn't seemed to have heard Goku and was still behaving most enthusiastically, fingers digging into his hips and still searching for bare skin.

"Kenren..."

"Mmm?" The general did not cease in his activities, and with deep regret Konzen untangled himself from his partner and pushed Kenren away. Kenren blinked at him in confusion, his skin flushed and his eyes black with desire. "What gives?"

Konzen narrowed a look at him. "Goku. The other child I came here with? He's calling for me."

Kenren stared at him, his hands looking as though they were itching to touch. "So?"

"What do you mean so, so I need to get back to him! We can't just-just ignore him so we can fool around! Monkey or not, he's still just a child! I shouldn't have forgotten about him and wandered off in the first place!"

Kenren frowned but looked a little sheepish as he rubbed at the back of his neck, a familiar gesture. "Yeah, I guess you've got a point...you've already been pawning him off on Tenpou an awful lot as it is, just so we can have some alone time."

Konzen scowled at him but did not deny Kenren's statement, and at the sound of another plaintive “Konzen!" from off in the distance, set off swiftly towards the field, grumbling to himself, Kenren (sulking like he'd been denied his favorite treat) trailing behind him.

Konzen reached the field and found himself abruptly knocked into the grass, a lapful of small whining monkey staring up at him with large golden eyes full of tears, a bouquet of flowers clutched in one hand, the front of Konzen's silks in the other.

"Where did you go?" He demanded. "Were you leaving without me? You can't leave me! You were going to leave me!"

Konzen sighed and blew his hair out of his eyes, prying the child's fingers from his front and lightly bopping him on the head. "Don't be stupid, monkey," he groused.

For a moment, Konzen's vision flickered and the scene changed oddly. He was still staring at Goku, but a different Goku. He blinked and the vision was gone, and he stared down into large, teary golden eyes.

"I was not leaving you, despite the fact that you are perfectly capable of finding your own way home even if I did, seeing as youbrought me here, and not the other way around. I was looking for the other idiot of our group." He sourly indicated Kenren who had now caught up and was laughing quite loudly at Konzen sprawled in the grass with Goku on top on him, the obvious victim of a pounce-attack. "So will you kindly stop overreacting and get off of me?"

Goku brightened almost immediately at his words, and with a renewed sunny smile hopped off of Konzen and flitted about him as he got back up to his feet. Konzen shot a dirty look at the still-chortling Kenren.

"Konzen! Konzen! Lookit all the flowers I got, aren't they pretty?" Konzen blinked as the bouquet that had been clenched tightly in Goku's small hands was thrust into his face, the colors and the scents of the flowers a little over-whelming in the sudden onslaught.

Konzen pushed them away and patted Goku on the head in placating gesture. "Yes, Goku, they're very nice."

"Yeah! And I got a bunch of these," he pointed to the bunches of yellow and violet among all of the other colors," 'cause the yellow ones match your hair, an' the purple ones match your eyes!"

Konzen sighed and felt a smile twitch at the corners of his mouth, ruffling the hand still resting on Goku's head through unruly brown hair. "Are you ready to go back?"

"Uh huh!" Goku chirped brightly, bouncing away from the blonde. "I wanna show Tenpou my flowers, can I?"

Konzen opened his mouth to respond when he felt an arm sling itself across his shoulders and hot breath wash across his cheek. "Yeah, Konzen," Kenren mimicked, his voice taunting and sultry, "Can Goku show Tenpou his flowers? I'm sure Tenpou would love to see them, and then he'll probably have something to show Goku to keep him busy for a while,"

Konzen snapped his mouth shut, not quite fast enough to block the squeak that forced it's way out of his throat, fully aware that he was turning red. Damn it, Kenren!

Goku just blinked at them. "Well, can I?"

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Gojyo wasn't sure how long he lay in the tent watching the shadows move across the canvas roof, but he was sure he had given sleep a pretty damn good try before he finally gave up and crawled back outside into the balmy afternoon. He blinked in the bright light of early afternoon and surveyed the unchanged campsite. Guess nothin's happened since this morning.

Shrugging to himself, Gojyo scratched the back of his neck and stuck his head into the tent Hakkai was occupying, to be greeted by half-open bleary green eyes and the reproachful red glare of Hakuryuu for disturbing his master's rest.

"Gojyo," Hakkai's voice was hoarse, weak.

Brightening, Gojyo crawled into the tent and sat next to his friend, ignoring his small winged guardian. "Hey man, you're alive. How ya feelin'?"

Hakkai rubbed at his eyes and yawned. "Like I've been hit by a truck," he replied, his voice stronger now, not as raw. "Not that that isn't to be expected. I expended much more energy than I should have..."

"Oh really?" Gojyo asked sarcastically. "And here I thought you were bedridden for the fun of it."

Hakkai sighed and frowned at the scowling kappa. "Very funny Gojyo. I'm not pleased to be in this situation, but I think we would both prefer this to the alternative."

Gojyo's expression darkened when he thought about that "alternative". He propped his elbows on his knees and rested his chin in his hands, huffing loudly. "Doesn't mean I don't get to nag you for overexerting yourself, so there."

Hakuryuu gave a cheep and nudged Hakkai with his small head, apparently agreeing with Gojyo.

Hakkai chuckled, glancing between the pair of them, and gave a poor attempt to sit up, failing miserably before flopping back against his pillow. "Fair enough."

"Damn straight."

"How is Sanzo doing?"

Gojyo huffed again, and inspected a lock of his hair, trying to look bored and unconcerned. "Nice and unconscious still. Still has that fever last I checked. Keeps having weird dreams. Hasn't crashed or anything since last night. Goku's been sitting with him since the little twerp woke up this morning."

Hakkai nodded idly, petting Hakuryuu as he processed the information. "And how is Goku?"

"Ahh, he's fine," Gojyo said indifferently. "Little bastard really didn't hear anything last night, so I had the express pleasure of telling him that his beloved Sanzo made a very successful attempt at kickin' the bucket, and let me tell ya, that was oodles of fun."

Hakkai laughed somewhat uneasily. "I can imagine."

"Monkey-boy did have the decency to offer to take over babysitting His Holiness at least," Gojyo grumbled to himself, "So I could get some damn sleep."

Hakkai eyed his friend speculatively. "You don't look like you've slept very much."

Gojyo's expression turned sour. Fuckin' Hakkai. "Yeah? Hate to break it to ya, but you don't either, and I know for a fact you've been sleeping for the better part of a day." Hakkai just stared at him. Gojyo shook his head. "I'm gonna go check on Goku and the monk. D'you need anything?"

Hakkai continued to eye the kappa beadily as he got up to crouch in the mouth of the tent, preparing to leave. "No, I'm all right for now. I think I'll catch up on more of that sleep, perhaps for the both of us." A grin flashed at Gojyo.

Gojyo scowled before leaving. "You do that."

The sunlight cut sharply through the canopy of leaves and battered against Gojyo's eyes as he crossed the few feet to the other tent, the "sick tent" that he despised the necessity of, before ducking into the cool shade that the canvas provided once more, the darkness a greeting.

Goku was sitting where Gojyo had been all night, and the kappa found himself gaping a little when the kid looked up from the book that Hakkai had been reading when he had been keeping watch.

The monkey looked up at the intrusion and frowned at Gojyo's expression. "What?"

Gojyo blinked at him as he squatted down and crawled into the tent proper. "You read?"

"Yes I fucking read!" Goku snapped in indignant irritation, harshly closing the book in his hands. "What, do you think I'm so stupid I don't know how?"

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "Don't get your panties in a knot, I know you can read, I just didn't think you ever cared to. It's weird, seeing you sitting there with a book instead of Hakkai or Sanzo."

"Hmph," Goku grumped, slumping back against the side of he tent, the book lax in his hands. "Yeah, well, what else was I supposed to do sittin' here? It got boring."

"What, like I don't know that?" Gojyo snorted. "Who do you think was here all damn night while you and 'Kai were off in Dreamland?"

"Yeah yeah, would you stop whining about that already?" Goku shook his head. "If it had bothered you so damn much you could have come woken me up or something y'know."

Gojyo's lips pursed as Goku stared at him evenly. "Maybe if it was possible to actually wake you up when I need to--"

"Oh, you're so full of it!"

"Ohhh no no no no no no no, that's you food-for-brains--"

"Just shut...the fuck up..."

Gojyo and Goku froze, staring at each other, Gojyo's hand poised in the air, for he had been about to poke Goku between the eyes, before both turned to look at the monk lying next to them who had spoken the broken statement. They both held their breath as Sanzo groaned and squirmed on his pallet, managing to kick his blankets off.

"Oh," Goku said, a bit shakily, before crawling next to the thrashing blonde and trying to calm him down by stroking at his hair and his face. It worked enough for the monkey to get him covered and secure again, and Gojyo berated himself for the flare of anger that he had felt at seeing the contact. He sat back, deflated, and swallowed with difficulty when the monk moaned quietly again.

Goku continued to eye the monk for a moment longer before looking back at Gojyo and laughing weakly. "He scared the crap out of me earlier when I first started watching him, talking all of a sudden. He opened his eyes too, but he must've still been dreaming, 'cause he didn't look right, not awake...it was still really eerie though."

Gojyo found his curiosity getting the best of him. "What did he say?"

Goku let out a breath and hesitated, Gojyo's curiosity rising. "Well, I was talking to him an' stuff, which was part of the reason it freaked me out so much...but he said, 'Don't be stupid, monkey'."

Gojyo's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously? He really fucking said..." the redhead burst out laughing. "That's just too perfect!"

Goku chuckled and smacked Gojyo's shoulder. "Shut up, pervy kappa, you'll bother Sanzo."

"But that's just too damn funny!"

"Damn it!"

Gojyo choked mid-laugh as once again both he and Goku turned their heads to stare in disbelief at Sanzo who, by all appearances, still seemed to be unconscious.

"Okay..." Gojyo said a bit numbly, "That's new...he's never shouted like that."

Goku shook his head, his eyes wide.

The kappa crawled next to the blonde and frowned at the strain and frustration twisting his sleeping features, his harshened breathing. Somethin' ain't right here. He pressed his hand to the monk's face and his frown deepened. "I think his fever's worse."

Goku's eyes widened. "He was fine a little while ago," he protested.

"Yeah, well," Gojyo blew some strands of red hair out of his eyes, "It seems to be spiking again." He grabbed the rag that had slipped behind Sanzo's head and passed it over to Goku. "Rewet this, would you?"

Goku nodded, taking the cloth from the older man, and noting that the bowl of water was rather empty, left to refill it. Gojyo watched him leave the tent, before his attention snapped back to the priest lying in front of him, whose eyelids were fluttering.

"Sanzo?" Gojyo smoothed his hand over a pale burning cheek and watched blonde lashes tremble again. "Hey, you awake?" He leaned closer, his hair sliding over Sanzo's skin and eyes intent on the monk's face. Even so, he wasn't prepared when violet eyes flared open and focused blearily on him, not the eyes he was used to seeing but clouded and distant. "Ah...Sanz--"

"Why...are you doing this to me?" His tone was plaintive, his voice weak.

Shocked, Gojyo lost the question he'd been trying ask, his heart jumping into his throat. "Wh-what?" He jerked his hand away from Sanzo's face and continued to gape at him as his eyes slid closed again, calm and peaceful against his pillows.

Gojyo could do nothing but stare with his mouth still hanging open. W-what did he mean by...I mean--what could I have...

When Goku returned a moment later with a fresh bowl of cold water from the stream he looked at an obviously flustered Gojyo with a raised eyebrow. "Did I miss something?"

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"Son of a bitch!"

Konzen's shout echoed piercingly down the empty corridor. He groaned and shoved his hair out of his eyes, watching his papers, the papers he'd just spent three hours organizing, rain down around him and float down the hall. Ruined, all of his work, ruined. All because he apparently could not read and walk down stairs at the same time.

Huffing, he craned his head around behind him at said stairs to see more papers fluttering to settle in disarray on the steps and on the landing. Fucking perfect.

He turned his attention to himself, and noticed that aside from half of his hair falling free of his ponytail he also seemed to have lost his left shoe somewhere when he'd been tumbling down onto his ass on the marble floor, and just glowered all the more. That ankle was throbbing to boot. Not that the rest of him felt that much better.

With a grumble and a few more curses from where he sat sprawled at the foot of the stairs, Konzen attempted to get to his feet--and failed miserably, yelping in a manner that bruised his pride as he slumped back onto the floor, hissing in pain. Apparently his ankle wasn't throbbing just for the fun of it. "Crap..." he mumbled to himself. It didn't seem he was going anywhere for a while. Just fucking perfect.

Extremely pissed off at his predicament, Konzen began picking up the documents that he could reach from where he sat and irritably piled them together, knowing that he'd have to reorganize them before he could deliver them like he'd been planning to when he'd tripped in the first place. Busy fuming in anger as he stretched for a sheet that was just a little too far away, he failed to hear footsteps approaching from the hallway behind him.

"Konzen?"

The blonde started and whipped his head around to stare up in minor horror at an incredulous Kenren. Konzen could only imagine what he looked like sprawled on the floor in extreme disarray amidst his work and felt himself going red. Kenren had to be one of the last people he would have wanted to find him in such a state. “Wh-what the hell are you doing here?"

Kenren cocked a dark eyebrow and crossed his arms across his chest as he stared down at Konzen in his heap of silk, golden hair, and papers. "Funny, that's what I was gonna ask you." He squatted next to the bureaucrat, looking at him with mild concern, making Konzen's stomach flip.

"There a reason you're down here?" Kenren asked. "Or that you decided to redecorate the hall?" he added, glancing around at all of the legal documents. "Not that I'm complaining; the whole place could use some remodeling, really, but, y'know...I dunno if Paper is a good look." He looked Konzen over quizzically, his gaze settling on his bare foot before he looked back at the stairs. "The shoe's a nice touch though, I'll admit." He turned his dark gaze back to a steadily reddening Konzen and looked him up and down again. "Of course in my opinion you steal the show from all of these other trifles; you make any room look better when you're in it..." He trailed fingers through a lock of flyaway golden hair, and smirked, "Especially with the freshly-laid look you have goin' on with your hair--"

"All right, just shut the fuck up!" Kenren blinked at him as he snapped, the smirk sliding off of his face; Konzen was now a successful shade of bright red--angry red, not the good kind. "I fell down the fucking stairs and we both know it! Do you have to be a sarcastic asshole about it? I'm already humiliated enough without your help, thank you very much!"

Konzen could feel himself shaking, could feel the full-fledged tantrum he was dying to throw, when Kenren sighed, scratched at the back of his head, and looked a little guilty, which gave the blonde slight pause. "Right," he heard the general mutter, seemingly to himself, "Right..."

Konzen opened his mouth, about to inquire as to what the fuck was going on now, when Kenren pushed himself to his feet and began loping down the hallway away from Konzen. The bureaucrat only spared a moment to feel freshly angered at such abandonment, not to mention hurt (not that he'd actually go mentioning it), before the feelings were quelled by others much warmer and far more embarrassing at the sight of Kenren, obnoxious, childish, lecherous Kenren, stooping down to collect the documents that had floated away after he had fallen.

Konzen watched in fascination as the other man meticulously retrieved all of the papers before walking back to him and proudly presenting an unruly stack which Konzen numbly took. "Just sit tight while I get the rest and we'll be on our way."

"Ah..." Konzen clutched at the stack of papers and craned his neck to follow Kenren's back as he stumped up the stairs and began picking up the remainders of Konzen's little accident, including the lone shoe that lay forlornly a few steps from the top of the landing.

Kenren returned once more, and squatted beside the blonde again, handing him the rest of the papers but holding on to Konzen's sandaled shoe, dangling it on one of his long fingers. Konzen just stared at him, the papers crinkling in his hands, still in their haphazard pile.

Kenren gave him an odd look. "You just gonna sit there gaping at me like a fish all day or what?"

Konzen quickly flushed and looked down at his lap, fumbling with the papers in his hands and trying futilely to get them into a neater pile.

Kenren was starting to look amused. "I'm guessing you hurt yourself when you fell," he said, swaying the shoe in front of Konzen's lowered face, "as you've been camped on the floor in a pretty undignified way for at least fifteen minutes and that left ankle of yours looks swollen, but...did you hit your head too? You're being unusually quiet." He slipped the shoe into one of his coat pockets before gently taking Konzen's chin between his fingers and lifting his head so that he could study his face, his eyes, and Konzen finally seemed to snap out of his stupor and scowled, swatting the hand away.

"I'm fine you idiot,"

Kenren just smiled at him. "Uh huh." The smiled widened as Konzen started grumbling to himself, and in a fashion that was far too perky for Konzen's liking, the general stretched an clapped his hands together, saying, "Let's blow this joint, shall we?"

"Whatever," Konzen just frowned and made no attempt to get up, as that hadn't gone so well the last time he'd tried, but Kenren didn't seem very concerned.

"Got a good grip on your stuff?

"What?" Konzen had only the time to ask the question and scowl at his lover before he was abruptly hauled off of the floor by strong arms and slung over Kenren's black-clad shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The blonde yelped in shock and indignation and shouted "DAMN IT!" quite loudly as half of the papers in his arms spilled out and fluttered back to the ground.

"I got it," Kenren said casually, and swung around, taking Konzen with him, before crouching to gather the pile back up.

Konzen's head spun as Kenren did and he started kicking at him and banging against his back with his fists. "Put me the fuck down you ingrate!"

"Psh, like you're gonna convince me you can walk on that ankle," Kenren said lightly, carefully standing back up, papers in hand, "Although this is a little inconvenient, much as I like the view." He gave a smart smack to the blonde's backside that had him cursing in strings again. Kenren just laughed and maneuvered the bureaucrat into his arms, bridal style. "I think this works much better, don't you, Sunshine?" He asked with a leer, shoving the documents back into Konzen's chest.

Konzen grabbed them instinctively, sputtering angrily all the while. "This is not a fucking joke! Put me down this instant!"

"Just hang on," Kenren lilted, completely unconcerned.

Konzen grabbed at the collar of Kenren's coat compulsively as he began to walk, and pressed his precious papers to his chest protectively so as not to lose any, and grudgingly, fervently hoping no one would see them in such a ridiculous position, accepted his situation...until he noticed the direction they were going.

"...Uh, Kenren, you're going the wrong way,"

"No I'm not," Kenren said brightly.

"Yes, you are. My office is back upstairs."

"I know that. We're not going to you're office."

Konzen's grip on Kenren's collar tightened as his mouth began to go dry and dread started to coil in his belly. "Then where arewe going?"

"To deliver your stuff. That's what you were on your way to do, right?"

Panic seized Konzen in a cold terror as his worst suspicions were confirmed. Yanking sharply on Kenren's collar and making him grunt in discomfort, he hissed, "No we are not!" in a voice promising pain if he were disobeyed.

"Why not?" Kenren tried to wheedle as he jerked his head, trying to get Konzen's hand off of his collar. "You're already down here, you have your stuff, so--"

"Because, you fucking idiot, I need to reorganize these documents, and the last thing I need is to have you parading me around like this! Especially in front of--"

"Oh, stop exaggerating. The stuffs not even a big deal because no one will ever really look at it, so who cares if it's in the right order or looks nice? And you don't look that bad...actually, I think you look pretty damn good, and--"

"Have you lost your fucking mind?!" Konzen was almost shouting again, but he really didn't care, so desperate to get Kenren to understand that he would not, absolutely could not, go into the room they were heading for like this, not for decorum's sake but for his own pathetic, little pride. "No, and that is final!" He glanced around nervously before adding, "Please!"

"Nothin' doin'."

Konzen grew more frantic by the second, his grip on Kenren's coat fit to shred the thick black material as they drew nearer to large open doorway branching off of a spacious corridor off the hallway they'd just been occupying.

"Kenren, please, I am beggingyou," Konzen hissed, a harassed whisper, "I'll do anything, just...just don't..." Two steps away from the doorway, Konzen shook the general's collar desperately, getting him to look at him as he asked him pleadingly, his eyes plaintive, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Konzen had to blink as an odd vision of red eyes and long crimson hair around a face much like Kenren's flashed in his vision before it was gone, as if he'd been in a different place with a different person.

Blinking again, he realized that Kenren had finally stopped and at last looked somewhat unsure about what he was doing before seeming to resolve himself with something and smiling wryly, nuzzling Konzen's tortured face and kissing his forehead.

"Really? The truth? Because if I don't make you deliver this stuff now," he said nodding at the crumpled paper clutched against Konzen's chest, "I know you'll lock yourself in your office for another six hours to go through it and organize it all again, and I just can't have that." His smile grew sheepish. "Guess I'm just selfish."

Everything in Konzen hardened at his lover's confession, the blood rushing in his ears urging him to inflict pain. "You...you are about to carry me into that room like this..." he swallowed with difficulty and closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again to send pure anger radiating up at Kenren, "Just so you...can have me to yourself?"

Kenren seemed immune to Konzen's ice, to his fury, and nodded, that ridiculous smile still on his face. "Pretty much, yeah."

A tiny part of Konzen, a part that was promptly squashed by his all-encompassing rage, wanted to be flattered at Kenren's logic. The rest of him wanted to strangle him.

"And just what makes you think," he started, his voice deceptively calm, "that even if I'm not up in my office that I'll even want to look at you, let alone do anyof the things that I know are percolating in that dirty, tiny little brain of yours, hmm?"

Kenren's smile turned smug. "Oh, you will."

"And why is that?" the blonde's voce was sharper that time, his anger starting to get the best of him again.

"Because you can't resist me."

Konzen stared at the other man, outraged. "Like fuck I can, you concei--"

He was cut off abruptly by the intrusion of Kenren's mouth on his, and after a couple of long, heated minutes, lay dazed and complacent in the general's arms.

Kenren snickered. "Told ya."

Konzen was about to retort when he registered that they were moving, and before he had realized what was happening, and long before he had been prepared, would have everbeen prepared, found himself center spotlight in Kenren's arms in the middle on the large sunny chamber in which an extremely amused Kanzeon Bosatsu sat watching, Konzen was certain, as his face attempted to imitate a beet. His aunt's attendant, Jiroshin, stood frozen beside her, mid-sentence, seemingly struck speechless by the spectacle Konzen and Kenren were.

"Why Konzen," Kanzeon Bosatsu said with excessive enthusiasm, "what a lovely surprise. And to what do I owe the rare pleasure of a visit from my dear nephew?" Her eyes utterly sparkled with mischief. Konzen wanted to be sick.

Seemingly unaffected by the entire situation, Kenren spoke up when it became all-too-obvious that Konzen wasn't going to, or perhaps at this point was unable to. Maybe both. "Just business, really. He has some papers for you." He nodded at the crumpled pile clutched against Konzen's chest.

"Ah, of course, I should have guessed," the Merciful Goddess laughed, waving her hand in a dismissive manner. "Konzen in always on time with his work...no matter what, it seems." She smirked.

Shaking with fury and mortification, Konzen mechanically extended the wreck of papers which a still-mystified Jiroshin just as mechanically retrieved.

"Thank you so much, darling," Kanzeon said, her smile wide and dripping with smug glee, "Do come and visit your auntie again soon. I so enjoy our little visits." She winked.

Kenren gave a short bow, and with a flippant, "Later," by way of parting, turned and walked back into the hallway, looking rather satisfied with himself.

It wouldn't be until a few minutes later when Konzen finally regained control over his faculties that the shout of, "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" rang throughout the entire building, mingling with the trailing echoing laughter of the Merciful Goddess.

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Something, although Goku had no idea what, had happened in the few minutes he had left the kappa alone in the tent with Sanzo. He was certain of this because Gojyo had scampered out of the tent as soon as he had gotten back and hadn't come back since. What could have possibly happened to spook the stupid pervy water sprite was beyond Goku, mainly considering the fact that the only other person in the tent had been Sanzo, and he was unconscious. So what the hell?

Goku frowned at the dirt and blew his bangs out of his eyes before turning to stare at Sanzo again. He watched him shift restlessly and mumble, when a thought hit him; maybe Sanzo had said something. Goku's shining moment of joy at this brilliant idea faded as his mind then turned to the next question: What could a dreaming Sanzo possibly have said to Gojyo to freak him out like that?

Goku frowned at the dirt again and fought the urge to get up and find the letch so he could ask him, knowing that he needed to stay where he was. "Oh well," he mumbled to himself, "I'll corner him later."

Or, said the snide voice in his head, maybe Hakkai will do it first. Goku had to smile at the thought of that.

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When he woke up again, Hakkai was fairly certain that it was much later than it had been when he had awoken earlier that day, judging by how dark it was now in his tent and by the quality of the shadows across the canvas roof. He rubbed carefully at his eyes and cautiously sat up, pleased to find that he was able to, and scratched idly at a rumpled Hakuryuu's head when it rose from his blankets with a sleepy "Kyuu".

Hakkai stretched slowly, carefully, assessing his body's condition as he went. All in all, he'd had a rough night, but nothing he couldn't handle. The trouble was worth it. The healer shivered just thinking about Sanzo's halted breaths, his silent heart, and the terror that had washed through him. He would go through this for any of his friends, readily, if he had to, if he could, if it was what it took to save them as it had been last night.

Still uncertain of his strength but resolved in his desire to perhaps disobey what might have been his own orders and check on the others, Hakkai gingerly crawled out of the tent and pulled himself to his feet using the pole at the opening for support as he steadied himself and took stock of his strength. Fairly certain he could function without making a fool of himself, he took the few wobbly, yet determined steps, to the large tent where he knew he would find at least two of his companions, Hakuryuu gliding behind him like a ghost.

He pulled back the flap of the tent and stuck his head in to be greeted by a very enthusiastic Goku, and a very unconscious Sanzo.

"Hakkai, you're awake!" The monkey scrambled up from where he'd been sitting cross-legged on the floor and trotted the few steps to intercept Hakkai at the opening of the tent, grabbing his arm and helping him inside. "How're ya feeling? Gojyo said you really did a number on yourself with Sanzo," golden eyes flitted between Hakkai and the monk, worry creasing Goku's brow.

"I'm fine, Goku," Hakkai said, raising his hands in a placating gesture although his knees had started to shake. "I'm just a little tired is all, really."

Goku didn't quite look as though he believed him any more than the little dragon hovering just outside the tent but nodded and sat back down in his original spot, gesturing for Hakkai to join him, frowning when Hakkai sat quite readily. The healer just smiled.

Ready to turn attention away from himself Hakkai turned to gaze at his frequent patient, lying at his side. "How has Sanzo been holding up?"

Goku's gaze focused intently on his mentor and a crease of worry reappeared between his eyes. "He seems to be the same, from what Gojyo was telling me, but I'm not sure if that's really a good thing or not now. His fever spiked hours ago and I've been trying my best to keep him cool, though I dunno if it's worked," he sighed and shifted where he sat. "Still dreaming, I guess, from the way he thrashes around, but he hasn't said anything in hours, so..." he shrugged, "I just wish he'd wake up and actually mean the shit he's saying."

Hakkai turned his gaze back to his young companion, who was frowning at Sanzo's flushed face. "He's been talking in his sleep? Gojyo didn't mention that,"

Goku blinked at him. "Yeah, lots. Most the time he just mumbles, but sometimes he really says something. It's weird."

"What kinds of things does he say?" Hakkai asked, his curiosity highly piqued.

"Well...just kind of...normal Sanzo stuff, y'know? Gojyo didn't tell me any of the things he said to him, just that he was talking, but since I've been around him I've heard, 'don't be stupid, monkey' and 'just shut the fuck up', and earlier he actually kind of shouted 'damn it' when Gojyo and I were fighting. It's really spooky, 'cause he's definitely not awake, but when he does that it sure sounds like he is."

Hakkai's brows furrowed as he took in what Goku had told him and turned his wondering gaze to his patient again. "How very bizarre,"

"Yeah..." Goku said vaguely, and stared at the wall of the tent in a manner that made it clear he had something on his mind. Hakkai gazed at him, unsure as to whether or not he should question Goku about whatever was occupying his mind, but needn't have debated the question at all, as Goku spoke again, voicing his thoughts after only a short silence.

"I think he said something that spooked Gojyo."

Hakkai blinked. "Really? What makes you think that?"

Goku turned his full attention to Hakkai, who thought he saw something mischievous in his expression.

"He came in here after his nap, right, to see how everything was? Well, I left for a few minutes to get some more water, an' when I came back in here, he was all pale an' shaking an' staring at Sanzo with his eyes all wide, an' before I could finish asking if something happened, he bolted. That was hours ago, an' I still haven't seen him since he ran off."

Goku paused, his gaze falling to the tent flap at Hakkai's back, a frown on his face overtaking whatever had been there a moment before. "I don't know where he went," he said, as if he had realized for the first time that maybe he should be worried that the kappa seemed to have vanished. "I was so surprised, I didn't think to follow...an' I didn't want to leave Sanzo alone..." Golden eyes sought Hakkai's green, suddenly in need of reassurance. "Should I have followed?"

Hakkai turned his head to look at the tent flap just as Goku had, quirking an eyebrow as he considered.

"No, Goku," Hakkai said, smiling blandly as he turned to look at him again, "Whether he was 'spooked' or not, I'd expect that he had at least enough sense to not wander away from camp; particularly now, as Sanzo and myself are out of commission for who knows how long."

He gazed at Sanzo again, his eyes lingering on the monk's frowning face. "No, I'm sure he didn't go far at all. I'd bet he's hiding in the other tent trying to convince himself that whatever happened didn't mean anything, as I'm sure it didn't." Although it very well must have, to send him running.

Goku scowled. "Assface. I've need to pee for like two hours. If he really is hiding under the pillows..." He trailed off and scowled again. "Assface."

Hakkai laughed. "Quite." Still smiling, he nodded at Goku, "Do feel free to leave for a few minutes if you need to; I have no problem keeping watch."

Goku perked up. "Really? Thanks 'Kai," the monkey jumped up and hurried out of the tent as Hakkai chuckled again.

The tent now silent with Goku's absence, Hakkai studied Sanzo a bit more closely, checking his temperature and pulse before simply just studying his expression. "What on earth could you have said to frighten Gojyo?" he asked in a soft mummer. "That, I would certainly love to know."

A slow smile spreading across his face as understanding bloomed and he realized that Goku must certainly want to know as well, for why else would he have mentioned it at all?

Perhaps I should pay our dear friend a visit. Unable to help it, Hakkai chuckled again at the prospect.

----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Gojyo had lost track of everything around him, could focus on nothing but what Sanzo had said to him.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

He rolled over onto his back and stared at the dark canvas above his head, unaware of how night seemed to have settled around him, no longer concerned with how very long he must have been cowering as far away as he had dared to go, to the remaining empty tent; the farthest he could physically run from Sanzo to brood in solitude without abandoning everyone.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Gojyo squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the palms of his hands against his closed lids until lights popped in front of his eyes. You're being an idiot.

He'd lost track of how many times he had told himself that.

An idiot, he repeated firmly to himself. His arms flopped listlessly onto the blankets as his hands slid off his face. He stared at the canvas again, but didn't really see it, could only see those eyes, those blank, unfathomable eyes gazing at him, with something recognizable stirring in them somewhere deep that he had not missed. The lights may not have been on, but Gojyo was certain that someone had been home.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Gojyo groaned in irritation and rolled back onto his stomach, pressing his face into a pillow. It didn't make sense. Nothing that had been happening recently made any sense, not that he could see. Not that he wanted to see.

He wanted to believe with every particle of his being that he had imagined the flare of life, of recognition that he had seen in Sanzo's eyes when he had spoken, but something in him would not allow it. Those words meant something, something to do with him, and Gojyo was terrified of what that meaning was. It felt, as ludicrous as the thought was, that somehow, all of Sanzo's recent insanity was his fault. But it made no sense.

How could the fact that the shitty priest was losing his mind be because of him? How? What had he done to Sanzo? It felt like he'd been spending all of his time and energy trying not to do things to Sanzo, all of the shameful, sinful things he could not get out of his head. How in the world could that be causing the loss of Sanzo's sanity? He was the one treating Gojyo differently, not the other way around. And yet...

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Gojyo burrowed further into the pillows as he agonized. There was a small spark of almost-understanding growing brighter in the back of his mind, something he did not quite grasp, something he was afraid to grasp, that was lost as a voice outside his tent startled him awake to the world around him again.

"Gojyo, if you are not in there, I'm afraid it will be a most unhappy reunion once I track you down. If you are, I think you should kindly explain why you have been hiding in your tent for the better part of the day."

Gojyo groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. God dammit. Hakkai. With deep feelings of regret and dread coiling through his system, he threw the pillow aside and reached for the tent flap, pulling it aside to glower at the green-eyed man crouching just outside who was smiling mildly, and the little dragon curled about his shoulders who, for the second time that day, gave Gojyo a look of reproach.

"What?"

Hakkai's manner became somewhat amused. "I thought I'd just made my intentions perfectly clear, or were you, perhaps, too involved in mentally begrudging my company to have listened to what I was saying?"

Gojyo gaped at Hakkai. Hakkai just smiled.

"I'm sorry, was that rude of me?"

Gojyo slowly regained his wits and closed his mouth as he watched Hakkai invite himself inside the small tent to settle comfortably in front of him. As Hakuryuu crawled into Hakkai's lap, still glaring at Gojyo, the kappa frowned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?

For just a moment Hakkai almost looked guilty before his usual mask righted itself and he chuckled genially. "I'm feeling much better, Gojyo, there is no need to worry. Goku was kind enough to scrape together some dinner for us while I sat with Sanzo, and the food helped a great deal. There is some left for you, if you're interested."

He paused, and rightfully interpreted the incredulous expression that had found it's way onto Gojyo's face. "Ah, yes, Goku seems interested in learning about cooking--and he was so enthusiastic about helping--and the instant ramen I recommended he try came out quite well, considering it was his first time. He was rather pleased with himself."

Gojyo just continued to stare. "Goku cooked...and didn't inhale everything before it was done?"

Hakkai laughed. "No, he actually demonstrated far more restraint than I thought him capable of around food. I was impressed. It seemed he was determined to do a good job, to help."

Forgetting the reason he was currently so miserable and holed up in a crappy little tent in the middle of nowhere, Gojyo shook his head in disbelief. "Holy hell. I wouldn't believe it if anyone else had claimed to witness such a phenomena. Holy hell."

Hakkai laughed again, easily, in higher spirits than Gojyo had seen in quite some time--which caused the kappa pause to wonder why; a Happy Hakkai could mean many things, and the gleam that Gojyo had just spotted lurking in green eyes pointed towards the kind of Happy Hakkai who was happy at Gojyo's expense. All of the dread flooded back. Fuck.

Smiling in Gojyo's direction Hakkai adopted the casual tone that was generally adopted when he was not being casual at all. "Goku's restraint appears not to be the only phenomena witnessed today," he said, still smiling as Gojyo's paranoia skyrocketed. "It seems that you too have acted quite out of character. I can't quite recall within memory a situation that had you running for cover and hiding for eight hours."

Fuck.

"Especially a situation that seemed so very unlikely,"

Fuck.

"Considering that the only two people involved in said situation were you and an unconscious Sanzo."

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

"What could possibly have happened," Hakkai continued to wheedle as Gojyo sat in quiet panic, "with Sanzo unconscious to send you fleeing?"

Hakkai's gaze never wavered and Gojyo swallowed audibly.

"What," Gojyo began to stammer, laughing nervously as he tried to speak with weak bravado, "what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Goku seems to be under the impression Sanzo spoke to you." Green eyes glittered in the darkness between them. "Seems he's been speaking in his sleep quite frequently, as you appear to have failed to mention before."

Gojyo's feeble mumbled response of how it hadn't seemed that important wavered and died in the space between them.

"Gojyo," Hakkai said, his tone now more candid and almost business-like, "We could sit here all night trying to pretend there was some other reason that you desperately sought sanctuary in here, but it would really be quite pointless as we both know differently."

Gojyo swallowed convulsively and squirmed where he sat, a pillow clutched tightly to his chest.

"What did he say, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked, his voice kinder, his expression friendlier and less calculating. Gojyo dearly hoped it was all genuine; it was useless to keep trying to pretend. At least with Hakkai.

Gojyo buried his face in the pillow he was hugging. His voice was muffled but Hakkai could hear just fine nonetheless. "'Why are you doing this to me?'"

Hakkai blinked. "Pardon?"

Gojyo groaned and lifted his head, giving Hakkai a look bordering on disgust. "That's what Sanzo said. 'Why are you doing this to me?'"

Hakkai mulled the words over in his mind. "Doing what?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out." Gojyo fell over to land on the blankets, pulling the pillow back over his face. "It's been driving me nuts."

Hakkai quirked an eyebrow that his friend could not currently see. "But why? He was unconscious, wasn't he? Albeit it is a strange thing for Sanzo to say in any situation, but why should you have any reason to believe he was speaking to you?"

There was a long moment of silence, in which Gojyo stared at the pillow over his face, and Hakkai stared at Gojyo. "He looked at me."

Green eyes widened. "He woke up?"

"Not...exactly. It happened earlier with Goku," said the muffled voice. "Open eyes but still dreaming. But he looked at me. I know he did."

Gojyo could feel the speculative look Hakkai was giving him.

"I know I'm being stupid, okay?" he snapped in irritation, whipping the pillow off of his head and tossing it into the corner where it fell with a flop. The kappa sat up, glaring at Hakkai. "But you weren't there, you didn't hear how he sounded. You didn't see his face. It means something, I know it does."

"Like what?" Hakkai asked, still studying Gojyo as if he were part of an experiment.

"How the hell should I know! It's the monk's fucked-up head, not mine."

"You must have some idea, to be reacting like this," the healer said patiently.

Gojyo turned slightly red and twitched. "I just...I just can't help thinking..."

"What?"

"That it's my fault!" Gojyo blurted. His mouth shut with a click as his face darkened even more. He shouldn't have said that. Shit.

He could still see Hakkai's calculating frown in the deepening dark. "That what is you fault?" Hakkai inquired.

Gojyo's hands grasped at air as he silently wished he still had the pillow to hold, and looked anywhere but at Hakkai. "I...whatever the hell is wrong with him." He sighed somewhat dejectedly and his hands dropped lifeless beside his legs. "That's what." The burn of Hakkai's contemplating eyes made his skin itch.

"How could that be any fault of yours?" Hakkai asked carefully. "None of us even know what the problem in question actually is. I don't think even Sanzo knows himself."

"I...it's just a feeling I have. Y'know? Like that intuition crap, or whatever it's called."

"Hmm," Hakkai leaned back on his elbows, ignoring Hakuryuu's faint cheep at being jostled. A small smile was hiding under the look he continued to give Gojyo as the picture became clearer in his head. It seemed Gojyo, too, was growing aware of just how thick the tension he had with Sanzo really was. It wasn't funny to him anymore.

Hakkai still couldn't say why they had wound up in such a state, but at least both of the parties involved had finally noticed. He'd been growing weary of being a singular spectator. "I suppose all I can really say is to trust your instincts."

He ignored the wounded look Gojyo shot him, laced with fear. "That may not be what you want to hear right now, but if the past is any kind of example your instincts are usually right." He smiled once more before easing to his feet, the dragon deftly crawling onto his shoulder. As he pushed through the tent flaps into the warm night, he looked back at Gojyo's face, crumpled in concern and doubt. "We have instincts for a reason, Gojyo. You shouldn't be so afraid of them."

As the canvas flapped back into place on Hakkai's retreating heels Gojyo sent a disgusted look in the general direction of the fading footsteps. "Easy for you to say," he grumbled, his head rolling back on his neck to bump against canvas. He stared bleakly at the roof, watching phantom leaves tremble in the night air. "They're not your instincts."

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TBC

Sweet Jeebus...I hope I haven't lost all of my readers with my snail-paced updates. This story is becoming far more than what I originally anticipated, and I hope I'm not the only one still along for the ride. I thought there'd be some dream lovin’ in this one, considering, but then I found a good stopping point, something I've been looking for for about six months. Maybe next time. Fingers crossed.

Please comment. Please. This has been looming over me for months and I'm dying for some feedback.