Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Commercial Collection ❯ Danimal Commercial ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Luv Shadow 14 
Amy's Danimal Commercial
Non Anime: Sonic Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.05.2006 | Updated On: 03.11.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 450 | Status: Work In Progress
Amy's Danimal Commercial
Non Anime: Sonic Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.05.2006 | Updated On: 03.11.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 450 | Status: Work In Progress
Amy's Danimal Commercial
“Sonic?!” Amy shrieked. “Where'd you go?”
“Oh, shit. It's Amy, I gotta go you guys,” Sonic said, panicking; he jumped behind a big pile of garbage.
“Hey Cream, have you seen Sonic?” Amy asked. “I have this commercial thing I need to do.”
“Oh, you want the third the door on the right with the screaming guy behind it.” Knux said.
“Why is he screaming?” Amy asked, cocking her head.
“Cuz he doesn't like *narrows eyes* `the truth'.” Knux said.
“HE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” Sonic yelled, jumping out from behind the garbage. “OH CRAP!”
“SONIKKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Amy screamed, anime hearts popping out of her eyes.
The director pops out of the studio door. “What the hell are you idiots doing out here?!” His eyes narrowed in on Amy. “Are you here for the commercial?”
“Is that the screaming guy?” Amy asked Cream.
“Um… yeah he's the director.” She said.
“ARE YOU HERE FOR THE COMMERCIAL?!” he screamed.
“YES!!!!!” she screamed back, ripping out her hammer.
“Well, geez, you don't have to yell Amy.” Shadow mumbled.
“Well he was, so I think that gives me the incentive.” She explained.
“Follow me,” the director said.
“Ok,” she said in that little preppy way that she has.
In the studio…
“Now,” the director started. “Do you know how to act?”
“You just read the cue cards, right?”
“Finally!” the director exclaimed. “INTELLIGENCE!”
“Wow, there's something I've never been accused of…”
“Oh crap,” the director said, rubbing his head. “Just, read the cue cards.”
Outside of the studio…
“Does Tails have girl issues?” Cream asked Sonic.
“Whaddya mean, `girl issues'? Like, his stalking problem?”
Cream's eyes lit up and she nodded. “Yeah, that! So…Does he do it a lot?”
“Only when he sees anything female…” Sonic replied, shrugging. “Why? Is he stalking you?”
Cream blushed. “You're a mind reader aren't you?”
FLASHBACK
“Sonic!&# 8221; Tails shouted. “You know how Cream's a girl and stuff?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, I'm kind of stalking her right now, so I can't build anything for a while…”
END FLASHBACK
“Yeah,” Sonic said. “A mind reader…”
Back in the Studio…
“So, this is called `Danimals'?”
“Yes, for the fifth time. “DANIMALS!!!”
Amy nodded. “Oh…Danimals?”
“YES!!!!! IT'S CALLED DANIMALS!!!!!!!! Now get that through your tiny brain! DANIMALS!”
“Sorry, I'm a little side tracked…” *close-up view of Amy's brain* SONICSONICSONICSONICSONICBLUEHEDGEHOGSONICSONICSONIC!!! ICE CREAM! SONIC SONIC!
“Amy? Amy! WAKE-UP!!!”
Amy snapped out of her Sonic frenzy. “Huh? What?”
“Read…the…Cue cards!!”
“If I have to…” she sighed. “Are you fat and insecure with your own body image? Then drink DANIMALS! Danimals? Is it really called Danimals?”
The director mimed snapping her neck by using a pencil. “Yes. Da-ni-mals! Like, animals, but with a D! D as in DUMBASS!”
Amy nodded. “Okay, but I have a question.”
“Should I be afraid?”
Amy pulls out her hammer. “WHY ISN'T MY SONIC ON THE BOTTLE? He`s an animal! Is he not good enough for this product?!”
“No! But he's…”
“He's WHAT?! It's cuz he's blue isn't it?!” She bursts into hysterical tears. “You racist bastard!”
“It's not my fault! Blame the…Creators of Danimals!”
“What's Danimals?”
The director lets out an ear-splitting scream. “Danimals is the product you're selling!”
“I'm not a saleswoman! This isn`t in my contract!”
“WHAT CONTRACT?!”
“This one!” She pulls out a long, detailed contract, complete with seal of approval from the President. “It says, *takes a deep breath*”
“NO! DON'T READ IT! PLEASE! Just do the commercial!”
“Where's my money?”
“…Money?!” The director's eye began to twitch.
“Yeah, MY MONEY! I want…Gee, I'm thirsty…Hey! What's this?” She holds out the Danimals bottle.
“It's called Danimals…”
“It is?”
“Just…Get out….”
“But I wanna do the commercial!” She pulls out her hammer again.
“OKAY OKAY! Do it already! Read the cue cards!”
“Are you tired of being overweight and ugly as…an ugly and overweight person? Then drink new Danimals! The newest fruit smoothie ever to hit the stands of your nearby gym! It's fruitiest! …Wait, so it's for gay people?”
“…What? Will someone please shoot me?”
Shadow walks in with a gun. “I WILL!”
Knuckles grabs it. “No, I wanna!”
Sonic grabs it. “No, ME!” He sees Amy. “SHIT! Nevermind!” He runs out.
Cream walks in. “Guns are bad!”
“Thank you, Cream…” the director said, sighing.
“You didn't let me finish! Guns are bad for people who don't know how to use them. Knuckles, you've never used a gun. Please let Shadow do the shooting.”
The director falls over. “WHAT?! NO! I was just kidding! Do you hear me? It was a JOKE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't hurt me…”
Amy smacks them all with the Piko-Piko Hammer. “GET OUT! I'm TRYING to do a commercial! I'M THE STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“SHIT! RUN!!!” They all run out.
“Now, can we get on with it?” She starts reading the cue cards. “Are you so freaking stupid that you've never heard of the Atkin's diet that you have to drink this shit? Hey, I just realized something…This stuff is called Danimals…That's gay…”
“Get…out…:”
“Oh, shit. It's Amy, I gotta go you guys,” Sonic said, panicking; he jumped behind a big pile of garbage.
“Hey Cream, have you seen Sonic?” Amy asked. “I have this commercial thing I need to do.”
“Oh, you want the third the door on the right with the screaming guy behind it.” Knux said.
“Why is he screaming?” Amy asked, cocking her head.
“Cuz he doesn't like *narrows eyes* `the truth'.” Knux said.
“HE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” Sonic yelled, jumping out from behind the garbage. “OH CRAP!”
“SONIKKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Amy screamed, anime hearts popping out of her eyes.
The director pops out of the studio door. “What the hell are you idiots doing out here?!” His eyes narrowed in on Amy. “Are you here for the commercial?”
“Is that the screaming guy?” Amy asked Cream.
“Um… yeah he's the director.” She said.
“ARE YOU HERE FOR THE COMMERCIAL?!” he screamed.
“YES!!!!!” she screamed back, ripping out her hammer.
“Well, geez, you don't have to yell Amy.” Shadow mumbled.
“Well he was, so I think that gives me the incentive.” She explained.
“Follow me,” the director said.
“Ok,” she said in that little preppy way that she has.
In the studio…
“Now,” the director started. “Do you know how to act?”
“You just read the cue cards, right?”
“Finally!” the director exclaimed. “INTELLIGENCE!”
“Wow, there's something I've never been accused of…”
“Oh crap,” the director said, rubbing his head. “Just, read the cue cards.”
Outside of the studio…
“Does Tails have girl issues?” Cream asked Sonic.
“Whaddya mean, `girl issues'? Like, his stalking problem?”
Cream's eyes lit up and she nodded. “Yeah, that! So…Does he do it a lot?”
“Only when he sees anything female…” Sonic replied, shrugging. “Why? Is he stalking you?”
Cream blushed. “You're a mind reader aren't you?”
FLASHBACK
“Sonic!&# 8221; Tails shouted. “You know how Cream's a girl and stuff?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, I'm kind of stalking her right now, so I can't build anything for a while…”
END FLASHBACK
“Yeah,” Sonic said. “A mind reader…”
Back in the Studio…
“So, this is called `Danimals'?”
“Yes, for the fifth time. “DANIMALS!!!”
Amy nodded. “Oh…Danimals?”
“YES!!!!! IT'S CALLED DANIMALS!!!!!!!! Now get that through your tiny brain! DANIMALS!”
“Sorry, I'm a little side tracked…” *close-up view of Amy's brain* SONICSONICSONICSONICSONICBLUEHEDGEHOGSONICSONICSONIC!!! ICE CREAM! SONIC SONIC!
“Amy? Amy! WAKE-UP!!!”
Amy snapped out of her Sonic frenzy. “Huh? What?”
“Read…the…Cue cards!!”
“If I have to…” she sighed. “Are you fat and insecure with your own body image? Then drink DANIMALS! Danimals? Is it really called Danimals?”
The director mimed snapping her neck by using a pencil. “Yes. Da-ni-mals! Like, animals, but with a D! D as in DUMBASS!”
Amy nodded. “Okay, but I have a question.”
“Should I be afraid?”
Amy pulls out her hammer. “WHY ISN'T MY SONIC ON THE BOTTLE? He`s an animal! Is he not good enough for this product?!”
“No! But he's…”
“He's WHAT?! It's cuz he's blue isn't it?!” She bursts into hysterical tears. “You racist bastard!”
“It's not my fault! Blame the…Creators of Danimals!”
“What's Danimals?”
The director lets out an ear-splitting scream. “Danimals is the product you're selling!”
“I'm not a saleswoman! This isn`t in my contract!”
“WHAT CONTRACT?!”
“This one!” She pulls out a long, detailed contract, complete with seal of approval from the President. “It says, *takes a deep breath*”
“NO! DON'T READ IT! PLEASE! Just do the commercial!”
“Where's my money?”
“…Money?!” The director's eye began to twitch.
“Yeah, MY MONEY! I want…Gee, I'm thirsty…Hey! What's this?” She holds out the Danimals bottle.
“It's called Danimals…”
“It is?”
“Just…Get out….”
“But I wanna do the commercial!” She pulls out her hammer again.
“OKAY OKAY! Do it already! Read the cue cards!”
“Are you tired of being overweight and ugly as…an ugly and overweight person? Then drink new Danimals! The newest fruit smoothie ever to hit the stands of your nearby gym! It's fruitiest! …Wait, so it's for gay people?”
“…What? Will someone please shoot me?”
Shadow walks in with a gun. “I WILL!”
Knuckles grabs it. “No, I wanna!”
Sonic grabs it. “No, ME!” He sees Amy. “SHIT! Nevermind!” He runs out.
Cream walks in. “Guns are bad!”
“Thank you, Cream…” the director said, sighing.
“You didn't let me finish! Guns are bad for people who don't know how to use them. Knuckles, you've never used a gun. Please let Shadow do the shooting.”
The director falls over. “WHAT?! NO! I was just kidding! Do you hear me? It was a JOKE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't hurt me…”
Amy smacks them all with the Piko-Piko Hammer. “GET OUT! I'm TRYING to do a commercial! I'M THE STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“SHIT! RUN!!!” They all run out.
“Now, can we get on with it?” She starts reading the cue cards. “Are you so freaking stupid that you've never heard of the Atkin's diet that you have to drink this shit? Hey, I just realized something…This stuff is called Danimals…That's gay…”
“Get…out…:”
“I'll give you a $1,000 if you leave right now.” He pays her and she leaves. “Thank God…Is it over?” he asked the author.
He gets hit by a lightning bolt. “NO! YOU HAVE TAILS, ESPIO, VECTOR, CHARMY, VANILLA, ROUGE, AND EGGMAN LEFT!!!!” Luv Shadow 14 shouted.
“Shit!”