Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Episode III: Revenge of the Obvious Pun ❯ Threatening the Chancellor ( Chapter 10 )

Chapter Ten: Threatening the Chancellor

 

[The scene cuts to Anakin sit…dammit, Tails sitting in the Jedi Council chamber.]

 

Eggman: (Voiceover) Without me, Amy will die…

 

[Tails looks conflicted and stares towards Amy's apartment, visible in the distance. The scene cuts to Amy in her apartment, staring towards the Jedi Council, absentmindedly munching on some nachos. The scene cuts back to Tails.]

 

Tails: I can't let her die…I can't let them kill the Chancellor!

 

[Tails rushes out of the Council chamber. On the way out, he hits a small table. The table falls over, and a plate bearing a Hot Pocket slides off. The camera zooms onto the Hot Pocket as it falls to the ground in slow-motion. It hits the ground with a deafening roar. The scene cuts to Knuckles at the head of four Jedi marching towards the Chancellor's chambers {Author's Note: Here's a fun game! Since these Jedi are going to bite the dust in about…(checks watch), three or so minutes depending on how fast you read, you can decide who they are!}. The doors to the Chancellor's office slide open.]

 

Eggman: Master Knuckles! Judging by your appearance, I'd say that General Big must have been killed by now. You're here sooner than I expected. I'd penciled the Jedi arresting party for 10…

 

Knuckles: In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, and as envoys of the Jedi Council, you are under arrest, Chancellor Robotnik!

 

[The Jedi all ignite their lightsabers.]

 

Eggman: Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?

 

Knuckles: Let's see…I just said we were here to arrest you, and we all just ignited our sabers. The answer you're looking for is: yes. Yes, I am motherfucking threatening you.

 

Eggman: I AM THE SENATE! I AM THE REPUBLIC!

 

Knuckles: Not yet…not yet!

 

[A lightsaber hilt slides into Eggman's hand.]

 

Eggman: Then, this is an act of treason.

 

[Eggman, showing amazing agility for his size, leaps towards the Jedi, lightsaber igniting as he flies forward, uttering a terrifying shriek.]

 

Eggman: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!

 

[Eggman lands between the Jedi, and starts hacking them to pieces. Soon, it is just Knuckles and Eggman, and they continue to fight. They move down a hallway, lightsabers clashing, until they reach a large room with what appears to be the world's single largest piece of plate-glass window. Outside the Chancellor's office, Tails lands a small vessel and rushes into the building. The scene cuts back to the large room, just as the two sabers crash into the window. It falls away into the city below.]

 

Random Civilian: Holy hell! It's raining shards of gla—aaaaagggh! MY EYE!

 

[Knuckles finally knocks Eggman to the ground. He places his saber right under Eggman's neck.]

 

Knuckles: It's over Chancellor! You have lost!

 

[Tails bursts into the room.]

 

Eggman: Tails! I told you the Jedi would betray me! Look at this!

 

Knuckles: Oh, come on. He sent us here to capture you. This is no big shock for him. In any case, now you lose! The Sith are beaten.

 

Eggman: (cackling) No! YOU LOSE!

 

[Force lightning cascades out of Eggman's fingers. It hits Knuckles' blade, and, somehow, comes back down on Eggman's face, somehow, turning him all old and ugly {Author's Note: Now, I don't recall Luke getting all hideous after he was hit by Force lightning, but I digress}.]

 

Knuckles: (straining to keep his blade in place) Surrender! Your life can be spared if you just stop being a royal bitch!

 

Eggman: Tails! Knuckles is a traitor!

 

Knuckles: For the love of God, you're the traitor! Tails sent us here five minutes ago because you were the traitor!

 

Eggman: Come on Tails! Don't you see what's happening here?

 

Tails: A red anthropomorphic echidna is repelling the force lightning of a very egg-shaped maniacal Sith Lord?

 

Eggman: EXACTLY! DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT! I can save Amy! Knuckles will just try and have sex with her!

 

Knuckles: With Amy? Fuck no, man. I need some titties.

 

Eggman: Do you want to be led by that kind of a pervert?

 

[Eggman cuts off the Force lightning.]

 

Eggman: Please, no more…I…don't kill me! Too weak…too weak…

 

Knuckles: Screw the Senate. I'm ending this once and for all.

 

Tails: He has to stand before the judiciary!

 

Knuckles: He controls the judges!

 

Eggman: Don't kill me! I'm just a weak, tired, dieing old man…

 

Tails: Have some heart!

 

Knuckles: My God, Tails! He's in no pain whatsoever! He's faking it!

 

Eggman: (grins) I bet you know a lot about people around you faking it, huh?

 

Knuckles: YOU SHIT TURD! THE LADIES LOVE MY WANG! NOW YOU DIE!

 

[Knuckles raises his saber.]

 

Tails: He must stand trail!

 

[Just as Knuckles starts to bring the saber down, Tails steps in and hacks off Knuckles' hand.]

 

Knuckles: Righttttyyyy! Tails, you fucking moron! What the hell is wrong with you?! That was my wanking hand! YOU LITTLE SHITTING SON OF A [bleep]!

 

[Eggman leaps up and Force lightning rushes into Knuckles. The Jedi twitches, then is shot out of the room by the force of the bolts, and falls screaming to his death far below.]

 

Knuckles: YOU TOUCHED MY HOT POCKET, DIDN'T YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?!