Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Episode III: Revenge of the Obvious Pun ❯ The Swift Lords ( Chapter 12 )

Chapter Twelve: The Swift Lords

 

[The scene cuts to Amy's apartment, where she can see the Jedi Temple, flames rising from it.]

 

Amy: Oh Tails…I hope you're safe…

 

[The scene cuts back to the Temple, where a speeder piloted by Senator Shadow the Hedgehog lands outside the Temple. Shadow leaps out and runs towards the nearest Clone Trooper.]

 

Shadow: What's going on?

 

Nearest Clone Trooper: There's been a rebellion. But don't worry, the situation is under control.

 

Shadow: Even though the Jedi Temple is on fire?

 

Nearest Clone Trooper: Quite so.

 

[Shadow moves to go inside the Temple. He is blocked by several Troopers. They unholster their guns.]

 

Nearest Clone Trooper: I think it's time you go…

 

Shadow: Well, I think I should stay.

 

Nearest Clone Trooper: Well, my large and imposing laser blaster that is currently aimed point-blank at your head says you go.

 

Shadow: A valid statement if I've ever heard one. Bye!

 

[Shadow moves to his speeder, just as a small Jedi child rushes out of the Temple, fighting off Clone Troopers. Shadow stares as the child is gunned down. Suddenly, the Troopers point their guns back at Shadow and he jumps on his speeder and bolts away amid a flurry of laser fire. The scene cuts to Sonic dragging himself out of an underground lake. The scene then cuts back to Kashyyyyyyyyyk {Author's Note: Will I ever get sick of that joke? Explain}. It is late at night and some Clone Troopers march by on mechanized walkers. One of the Troopers shines his light on a pile of dead Wookies.]

 

Clone Trooper #777: All these Wookies are dead. Move our forces to the east.

 

Clone Trooper #45,712: Yes sir.

 

Clone Trooper #777: 52,154, you're with me. We'll sweep towards the west.

 

Clone Trooper #52,154: But I forgot my broom!

 

Clone Trooper #777: Don't worry about it…I'm sure we'll do just fine…

 

[The Troopers walk off, just as something stirs in the water around the dead Wookies. The scene cuts to a hill on Kashyyyyyyyyyyk, where Yoda and two Wookies are clearing off a Wookie escape pod, which aside from being far more high-tech than all the other Wookie tech, is conveniently Yoda-sized.]

 

Yoda: Good-bye, my Wookie friends. Miss you, I will. A razor will I send for Christmas.

 

[Yoda clambers into the little escape pod. The Wookies roar as the pod strikes into the night sky, leaving Kashyyyyyyyyyyyk far behind {Author's Note: Now I'm sick of the joke}. The scene cuts to a large spaceship flying away from Coruscant. The camera cuts to the interior of the ship. Senator Shadow and some of his aides are wandering around the halls.]

 

Shadow: Well, this calls for some sort of decisive action…perhaps I should lead Red Squadron in a strike against the Death Star.

 

Aide #1: I'm sorry sir, but that won't happen for another 20 or so years…

 

Shadow: Then what do you suggest we do?

 

Aide #2: We should rescue the Jedi.

 

Shadow: Rescue the Jedi…I like the way you think, Aide #2…

 

Aide #2: I have a name you know.

 

Shadow: That's not important.

 

Aide #2: But it is! My parents spent ages trying to come up with a name for me! The least you could do is know what it is!

 

Shadow: Fine! What's your stupid name?

 

Aide #2: It's not stupid. My name i-

 

[The scene cuts to the (series of high-pitched clicking sounds) system. Sonic hides behind a rock wall, listening to several Clone Troopers.]

 

Clone Commander Guy: Did you find the Jedi's body?

 

Clone Trooper in charge of Body Recovery: No, sir. But nobody could have survived a fall like that…

 

Clone Commander Guy: Nobody except a Jedi!

 

Clone Trooper in charge of Body Recovery: Look, if you want me to find the Jedi, we're going to be here all day. If we say that we saw the Jedi die, we can leave this moronic planet.

 

Clone Commander Guy: Did I ever say we didn't see the Jedi die?

 

Clone Trooper in charge of Body Recovery: I thought you just said…ohhh! I get it.

 

Clone Commander Guy: Right. Now let's get the hell away from here…

 

[Sonic rushes through the planet, finally reaching the landing platform where he defeated Big, whose body is still lying there. Sonic jumps into the starfighter on the platform, and takes off. The scene cuts to the interior of the starfighter.]

 

Sonic: Hello? Can anybody hear me? I've got an emergency code…17-6 here. My soldiers turned on me. Anybody out there?

 

[A fuzzy hologram shows up in the ship.]

 

Hologram: Zzzzzsoo…..(static)-niiiiiic?

 

Sonic: I've locked on to your signal, please repeat.

 

Shadow: (hologram) Master Sonic? Oh for fuck's sake, you would be the Jedi I'd find.

 

Sonic: Look, I thought we agreed it was all in the past. Now, let it slide.

 

Shadow: Well, I guess I have to rescue you. And don't worry, the Clone Troopers slaughtered Jedi everywhere.

 

Sonic: How is that a “don't worry” scenario?

 

Shadow: I got no idea. I'm sending my ship coordinates.

 

Sonic: I hate to interrupt, but these coordinates are for a black hole.

 

Shadow: Which you have plenty of experience with…

 

Sonic: Dude. Seriously, ship coordinates.

 

Shadow: Party-pooper…

 

[The scene cuts to Amy's apartment. Tails' speeder pulls alongside the apartment and he jumps out. Amy rushes out to the landing platform and hugs Tails.]

 

Omochao: Sure. Just leave me plugged into this ridiculous contraption here. Thanks a lot, asshat!

 

Amy: Are you okay? I heard the Jedi Temple was attacked!

 

Tails: I'm safe…I just wanted to know if you and the baby were safe.

 

Amy: What happened?

 

Tails: The Jedi tried to overthrow the Republic.

 

Amy: I don't believe it!

 

Tails: Neither did I, but then I saw Knuckles trying to kill the Chancellor.

 

Amy: Oh, well, in that case, I'll believe you. Anything you say I'll take as the truth…what are you going to do?

 

[Tails breaks away from the hug.]

 

Tails: My loyalties are with the Chancellor, and the Republic. And the Sith. I…err…mean…ummm…

 

Amy: What about Sonic?

 

Tails: I don't know. A lot of Jedi have been killed already. I just hope Sonic stayed loyal to the Sith lord currently ruling over the Republic…

 

Amy: The what lord?

 

Tails: I…uhh…Swift Lord. Yeah…the Chancellor is very swift.

 

Amy: Oh.

 

Tails: I have to go to the Moustache system. The remnants of the Separatist ruling council have gathered there, and I'm going to kill them. When I get back, everything will be better.

 

[Tails and Amy hug again, and Tails heads to his speeder. He jumps in, and it takes off. Amy watches the speeder fly off, then breaks down into tears. The scene cuts to Shadow's ship. Sonic's fighter docks onto it. The scene cuts to the ship's interior as Sonic, Yoda, and Shadow walk down the halls.]

 

Shadow: Well, you made it.

 

Sonic: No thanks to you and your fucked-up coordinates.

 

Shadow: Hey, when one has experience with black holes, why deny them?

 

Sonic: Dude, shut the hell up. Just shut up.

 

Yoda: Master Sonic, good to see you it is. Dark times there are.

 

Sonic: So you were also attacked by your troops?

 

Yoda: Yes. Barely escaped with the Wookies, I did.

 

Sonic: How many other Jedi survived?

 

Yoda: Heard from nobody else, we have.

 

Shadow: I saw several thousand troops attack the Jedi Temple. That's why I went looking for Yoda. And then Sonic had to show up…

 

Sonic: Alright, seriously, shut the fuck up. I mean, really. We're all getting a little sick of this crap.

 

Shadow: When you apologize for what you did, I'll shut up.

 

Sonic: You're mother WAS a test tube. DEAL WITH IT.

 

Shadow: (softly) I hate you…

 

Sonic: Right. Did we receive any transmissions from the Jedi Temple?

 

Yoda: Retrieved a coded retreat message, we did.

 

Shadow: It says the war is over, and that all Jedi must return to the Temple.

 

Sonic: Well, it's a trap isn't it?

 

Shadow: DUH.

 

Sonic: We have to go back and change the message…otherwise any surviving Jedi will walk right into the trap.

 

Shadow: It's a bit too dangerous to go back, I think.

 

Sonic: SHUT UP. We're going back.

 

Yoda: Perhaps, some knowledge may we find. Illuminate the way, it might.