Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Episode III: Revenge of the Obvious Pun ❯ High Ground, Low Fox ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter Sixteen: High Ground, Low Fox

 

[The scene cuts back to Moustache. Sonic and Tails run along a metal pylon that is starting to collapse into the lava.]

 

Sonic: Stop being an idiot Tails!

 

Tails: The only idiots here are the Jedi! And your mom!

 

Sonic: I should have known that anyone who could make such shitty “your mom” jokes could never be a real Jedi!

 

[The pylon snaps free of the building, and plummets into the lava flows. Sonic and Tails continue to battle as they climb up the pylon. The scene cuts back to the pipes where Yoda is crawling. He reaches a small junction and a hole opens in the floor. Shadow, in a speeder, pulls up beneath it. Yoda leaps into the speeder.]

 

Yoda: Into exile, I must go. Defeat Egg, I cannot.

 

Shadow: (flying the speeder away) I hate to interrupt, but it really didn't look like you were trying…

 

Yoda: If upset with result you are, go fight Egg on your own, you must.

 

Shadow: I'll pass.

 

[The scene cuts back to Moustache. Sonic grabs a rope on the end of the pylon and swings around Tarzan-style, still continuing his duel. Sabers clash, until the two combatants see a lavafall {Author's Note: If that's even a word} ahead. Sonic swings one more time, and lands on a small hovering platform.]

 

Sonic: Looks like you're going down! Just like I went down on your mom!

 

[As the pylon starts to fall down the fall, Tails runs along it. He leaps onto a small droid that's conveniently hovering above the lava just as the pylon collapses into the lava. The platform and the droid hover by each other. The duel continues.]

 

Sonic: I am sorry, Tails. I never trained you not to be a fucking retard. For that, I am sorry.

 

Tails: I should have known the Jedi were going to overthrow the government.

 

Sonic: We were doing it to save it from the Sith! Eggman is evil!

 

Tails: From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!

 

Sonic: Well, then obviously, you can't see worth shit!

 

Tails: This is the end for you. I only wish it were otherwise.

 

[Tails leaps off the droid, then lands on Sonic's platform. Lightsabers clash together, then Sonic jumps onto the nearby land.]

 

Sonic: It's over Tails, I have the high ground!

 

Tails: You forget one thing, Master. I can fly!

 

Sonic: Don't do it!

 

[Tails leaps up and uses his tails to start flying. He gets about, ten feet forward, then spirals to the ground. Sonic's saber slashes through Tails' left arm, both legs, and his tails. Tails' body hits the ground and rolls towards the lava.]

 

Sonic: You idiot! You were supposed to be the Chosen One! You were going to bring balance to the force, not bend it over and rape it in the ass!

 

[Sonic picks Tails' saber off the ground.]

 

Tails: I FUCKING HATE YOU! I'LL [bleep] YOU IN THE [bleep]! I'LL [bleep] YOU RIGHT TO [bleep] YOU SACK OF [bleep]!! [Bleeeeeeeeep] YOU TO HELL!

 

Sonic: You were like a brother to me. And to show that love, I will let you die here in slow, unending agony. Kiss my balls, Tails!

 

[As Sonic walks away, Tails lights on fire. Tails, predictably, starts screaming like a little bitch. Sonic looks on for a second, then runs off. The scene cuts back to the landing platform. Sonic looks around for Amy's body, when Omochao floats out of the silver ship.]

 

Omochao: Amy's on board! Let's get out of here!

 

[Sonic rushes onto the ship. The camera cuts to Amy lying on a bed. She looks up at Sonic.]

 

Amy: Is…is Tails okay?

 

[Sonic doesn't answer. He moves to the cockpit, as the ship takes off. The scene cuts to tails burned body, as he tries to crawl up the shore. A shuttle flies by overhead and lands nearby. A few seconds later, Eggman and some Clone Troopers approach Tails' body.]

 

Eggman: Tails! You're still alive! Clone Guy, get a medical capsule immediately!

 

Clone Guy: Yes sir!

 

[The Clones rush off. Eggman kneels by Tails and places his hand on Tails' forehead.]

 

Eggman: Wow, you're burning up…

 

Tails: You…think? I've…just…been burned…alive…you…shit…cock…

 

Eggman: My poor apprentice, to be crippled with the fever…

 

Tails: It's not…a…fever…

 

Eggman: Okay, who is the doctor here? ME. I think I know what your problem is better than you.

 

Tails: I have…no legs…

 

Eggman: Side effect of the fever.