Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Epic ❯ The Metal Shadow and Multiple Lord Fears Saga ( Chapter 3 )

THE EPIC

HAMMER AND SICKLE STUDIOS PRESENTS AN EPIC EDITED BY VOLKOV "INTERACTIVE STORY!!!" STARRING A TON OF RANDOM PEOPLE WRITTEN BY LORD FEAR HAKU SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG GRAND MASTER SHOMA SONICMON THE VIEW2FUL AND VOLKOV WRITTEN ON THE TRIPLE PEEPS FORUM IMAGINED BY LORD FEAR AND EDITED BY GREG "VOLKOV" PARAUBEK

Howdy! Welcome to the third Saga of the Epic! I hope you're accustomed to the craziness because things only get weirder. So…enjoy your stay! And please, for the love of God, let the Wookie win.

Disclaimer: Any characters not owned by, but not limited to, Sega, Square Enix, Nintendo, Namco, Capcom, Westwood, or any other company were created by us (the forum users) and cannot be used without our express permission. This story is joint property of all the people who wrote anything in it, and the Triple Peeps, who own the forum where this was placed. You steal, you suffer the consequences. You've been warned. Now read and enjoy!

INTERACTIVE STORY!!!

The Metal Shadow and Multiple Lord Fears Saga

[Remote location.]

Reid: Farah? Where'd you go?

Farah: (speaking through Reid) That stupid Eggman! I'm inside you!

Reid: Well, this is gonna get interesting...

[Eggman, his crew, and Johnny run into a little problem; The current villain from YuGiOh!, Marik Ishtar, is currently trying to take Eggman's ship.]

Marik: Now you must face me!

Eggman: I got a better idea!

[Later.]

Bowser: Nice plan!

Il Palazzo: Agreed. But, did you have to deport him?

Marik: (on a ship heading back to Egypt) I'll be back! If it's the last thing I do!!

[A giant robot appears before them.]

Dr. Wily: If only my machines were that damned cool.

[The machine bleeps and bloops like a 60's era robot.]

Johnny: MAY!?

Machine: *beep*

Eggman: R.I.B?

[May doesn't like bald people; the machine tries to crush Eggman.]

Eggman: WWAAAAAHH!! KILL WILY! HE'S BALD TOO!

Dr. Wily: AAAHH!! WHAT ABOUT DR. EVIL? HE'S BALD!

Dr. Evil: Oh damn it all! (squish)

[ARK.]

Pink Big: Nothing can stop us!

[Pink Big gets a giant scalpel in the ass from Dr. Faust.]

Faust: (Guilty Gear) VIVA WATASI!!

[At the Black Hole HQ. Sturm, Lord Fear and Ganondorf are sitting at a table with the Black Hole Army commanders.]

Sturm: We must go and help the others save the World.

Hawke: I thought we were going to conquer it…

Sturm: We would become heroes!

Hawke: I always wanted to be a hero.

Lash: Me too.

Flak: Me three.

Adder: I'm out.

Lord Fear: You know, if we help, you might get that statue of yourself that you always wanted.

Adder: Yes.

Lord Fear: You help us, we build it.

Adder: I'm in.

[The Black Hole Army goes to battle. At some remote location…]

Sephiroth: (Who was hit by the Random Insanity Machine and is dressed like a hippy) Make Peace, not War, make Peace, not War.

[Eggman's Ship.]

Eggman: After this is over I'm going to try to conquer the world...again.

Bowser: Good for you.

Shadow: (looking at his watch) Nothing good can come out of sheer insanity! We need a stable plotline!

[Shadow gets hit by the random insanity beam. Shadow is normal, but he's been cloned. His clone looks like the old Metalla from the Sonic Anime, except as a Shadow robot.]

Metal Shadow: (looks around; makes various beeps and robot sounds)

Shadow: YOU! Faker and such!

Darky: (Remember him?) Hey! That's my job! (gets hit by the random insanity beam; turns into a tuba)

Metal Shadow: Bud-Wise-Er! (runs off)

Shadow: (shakes head in disgust) This is way too weird...

Sephiroth: (flies around) You. Hedgehog creature.

Shadow: (slightly panicked) Eep.

Sephiroth: What's with the random beams of insanity flying around? (get's hit by the random insanity beam and gains a second wing) Oh GOD I'M A FREAK!!! (runs off)

[In some jungle area. Lord Fear is walking around in the jungle area and gets hit by the Random Insanity Beam, splitting him into two halves: Yin and Yang (Good and Bad).]

Lord Fear G: (Good) Let's read stories to people.

Lord Fear B (Bad): Let's kill people.

Lord Fear G: That isn't very nice.

Lord Fear B: I'm going to kill you!

[Lord Fear G runs for his life as Lord Fear B runs after him with an M-16. Meanwhile, on a completely unrelated topic, within a very dark room...]

Some Guy: Applejuuuice! (long pause) Applejuuuuuuuuuice! (another long pause) Applejuuuuuice! (partially long pause) Iiii liiike applejuuuuuuuuuuice! (another pause) Shudup! I like applejuice. Shadup!

[Moving on...Metal Shadow is fleeing. Shadow is tailing him at breakneck speed.]

Shadow: HEY! I dislike your presence! I challenge you to a race around the world! 50 times!

Metal Shadow: B-I-N-G-O!

Shadow: (blank for a second) Alrighty, I'll take that as a yes. AAaaaaaaaaaaand LOOK OVER THERE!!! (points at a bunch of indescribable objects)

Metal Shadow: (falling for the trick easily)

Shadow: GO! (zooms off)

Metal Shadow: Damn! I've just gained emotion! And anger's kicking in! (zooms off as well)

[Let's take a look at our situation with Eggman's posse and the bald person killer robot…]

Eggman: (sees Shadow and Metal Shadow zooming up from the distance) Oh, hi Shad-

Shadow: (stopping abruptly; talking faster than Excel does) HIEGGMANI'MINTHEMIDDLEOFARACEAGAINSTANOTHERROBOTDOUBLESORRYICAN'TTALKAWHOLE BUNCHABOUTITDIDYOULOSEWEIGHTSORRYGOTTAGOBYE!!! (zooms off)

Eggman: (blank) -ow...Oh, hi robot version o-

Metal Shadow: (rising and dipping voice as he passes) i'mgonnakILLYOUTILLYOu'redead!!!

Dr. Wily: (standing before bald person killing robot with a robot a third the size of Earth) I'M GONNA BREAK YOU!!!

Eggman: (looking up at Wily's giant machine) I should of thought of one of those...

[Lord Fear G is still being chased by Lord Fear B who has an M-16.]

Lord Fear G: Leave me alone!

Lord Fear B: No!

Lord Fear G: Can't we just get along?

Lord Fear B: No!

[They run pass Eggman & Co.]

Eggman: Was it just me or did I see 2 Lord Fears?

Dr. Wily: You saw two.

Sigma: How?

Megatron: One of them is his good side the other is his bad side.

Il Palazzo: This is weird.

Bowser: I wonder if that would happen to us…

Eggman: It might.

Megatron: Blatantly stupid can sum all of this up.

Bowser: (eats Megatron) Ech...disgusting...

Eggman: What the hell are we doing?

Dr. Wily: (stomping on bald person robot) DIIIIIIIE!!!

Bowser: (burp) Ugh...shouldn't have had that side of Autobots...

[Dr. Eggman, Il Palazzo, and Bowser have just started walking off to Egypt where the path to the ARK lies; and they dumped the other villains.]

Eggman: I'm sorry I couldn't get us camels, but we had to spend the last bit of rings to save that poor man.

Bowser: True.

Il Palazzo: It's so hot...

[Suddenly…]

Marik: DR. IVO ROBOTNIK! REMEMBER ME!?

Eggman: Why yes!

[A few minutes later.]

Bowser: Did you have to deport him out of his own country?!

Eggman: Yep!

Marik: I'LL GET MY REVENGE!!

[Meanwhile, near the Pyramid part of the scene, Shadow and Metal are racing...still...]

Shadow: HAHA!!! I AM FARTHER AHEAD THAN YOU!!!

Metal Shadow: That's what YOU think! HYPER MODE ON!!! (zooms head-on into the pyramid)

Shadow: (still running; laughing his ass off) HAHA!!! MORON!!! (crashes as well) ...ow...

[Incidentally, the painful crash of the ultimate badass and his robo double set off the "Fire several deadly missiles into a bunch of random locations" sequence, codenamed "CHEESEWIZ".]

Pyramid Intercom System/PIS: (Eggman's voice) WARNING! WARNING! YOU HAVE CRASHED INTO THE WRONG PYRAMID, BUDDY! I'M GOING TO FIRE-

PIS: (Sonic's voice) Eggman! I'm here to stop you again!

PIS: (Eggman) Eh? Damnit Sonic, I'm recording! GET OUT!!! (various machine gun shots heard) Ah, where was I? Ah, yes... (clears throat) I'M GOING TO FIRE RANDOM MISSILES AT YOUR ASS AND EVERYONE ELSES!!! GET LOST!!!

Shadow: (blank look) What the...crap?

[Somewhere else…]

Lord Fear G: Star Trekking across the Universe!

Lord Fear B: All aboard the Enterprise with Captain Kirk.

[Lord Fear G & B get hit by the Random Insanity Machine and become one again.]

Lord Fear: I'm back and badder then ever!

Marik: Shut up.

Zero: (From Mega Man X) He's dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim.

[Lord Fear and Marik walk very far away from Zero. Elsewhere, the villains who were left behind have arrived at Eggman's pyramid base by riding on Megatron.]

Dr. Wily: Eggman, did you have to leave us behind?

Eggman: We had to get here quicker.

Bowser: Let's get some coffee!

All Villains: Okay.

[In the ARK…]

Eggman: Suckers.

Bowser: Yeah.

Il Palazzo: I can't believe they fell for that old 'let's get some coffee' charade.

[The three of them are laughing and walking; Eggman stops them.]

Eggman: Wait a minute...

Il Palazzo: Traps?

Bowser: You forgot your complimentary taco?

Eggman: There's a trap up ahead, and YES, I forgot my taco! Oh well.

[The three of them can barely see strings in an intricate pattern.]

Eggman: (looks around; looks up) NICE TRY!

[Eggman shoots at the ceiling; Bridget falls into his own trap, which involves an "Ore To Killing Machine" overdrive being involved; 4 seconds pass.]

Bridget: (charred and scratched beyond healing) Ow...

Bowser: Stay down, man!

Il Palazzo: Wait...that's a man?

Eggman: Remember Eggman on Ice?

Il Palazzo: Oh yes...

[They keep walking.]

Bridget: Um...little help?

[Back in Egypt.]

Lord Fear: So you want a ride to the ARK?

Marik: Yes.

Dr. Wily: Hell yeah!

Sigma: Yes.

Megatron: No...Wait. Yes.

Sturm: Sure.

Ganondorf: You bloody well bettcha arse.

Lord Fear: Anyone else? No? Good.

[Lord Fear takes them to the Space Shuttle and goes to the ARK. Meanwhile, at Tails' house.]

Sonic: Why aren't we doing anything?

Shadow: Because we are.

Amy: Let's do something.

Tails: Poker anyone?

Sonic, Shadow and Sonic Team: Might as well.

[Eggman, Bowser, and Il Palazzo see the CATS team about to fire another beam.]

Bowser: Wanna just take no prisoners?

Il Palazzo: OKAY!

[Eggman, Bowser, and Il Palazzo burst through the wall, with guns, magic, and flames going about; this random onslaught kills Big, Pink Big, and CATS' evil brother, RATZ.]

RATZ: GOD OH!!!!!!!!

Eggman: Who's next?

[CATS hits himself with a beam, in hopes of turning himself into a giant demon; he turns into a field mouse.]

Mouse: (tiny and squeaky voice) CRAP!

[Bowser eats him.]

Bowser: Needs ketchup. (drinks some ketchup)

Eggman: Fire the Beam at random things!

[Bowser fires the beam just as Marik bursts through the door.]

Marik: Eggman let me help!

Eggman: Might as well.

Sturm: Hi Eggman!

Eggman: Sturm you're back.

Sigma: Hello guys.

Il Palazzo: Hi.

Dr. Wily: Hi Bad-Asses!

Eggman: Hi Dr. Wily.

Ganondorf: Hello guy.

Bowser: Ganon, how's it been?

Ganondorf: A lot of random things.

Eggman: Fire the Beam! (pause) Wait a minute... I don't want "YuGiOh!" villains here!

[Eggman grabs Marik and fires him from the Eclipse Cannon.]

Marik: YOU BASTARDS! (explodes!?)

Sonic: What about the missiles?

Shadow: Huh? Missiles?? Oh! Those mi--

[Tails' house gets nuked.]

Knuckles: ...That's it, I'm outta here.

[Back at the ARK.]

Sturm: We brought him so you could do that.

Eggman: Thanks Sturm.

[Megatron shoves the corpses of Big, Pink Big, RATZ and CATZ into the Eclipse Cannon.]

Megatron: Cannon ready to fire!

[Bowser fires the Cannon.]

All: We like Chinese!

ARK voice thingy: (AKA: Drugged up Gerald Robotnik voice) Ugh...uh, something's coming...look out...

Shadow: (looks out the window) AGH!!! THE MISSILES! THEY'RE RANDOMLY FIRING EVERYWHERE!!!

Metal Shadow: How'd we get in the ARK?

Lord Fear: FUG! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! I HAVE A BANANA!

Bowser: (just ate Megatron...again...) Fug...too much katsup...

[Lord Fear throws the banana at Il Palazzo.]

Il Palazzo: Who threw that?

[Lord Fear points to Bowser who's whistling. Il Palazzo raises his fists. Lord Fear disappears.]

Eggman: You've been bananaed!

[Everyone laughs, and they stop the Random Insanity beams from ever infecting the world again.]

END OF THE METAL SHADOW AND MULTIPLE LORD FEARS SAGA!

{Ed. Note: That's the end of the third Saga. Anyways, this Saga was supposed to be longer but halfway through the editing I discovered that the story kinda' restarted. So I stopped right before the restart. Plus it was a good place to stop. So, I bid you fare well. I have a rather angry Yeti that wants to talk to me about auto rentals. Adios!}

Coming Soon: Some Stuff!