Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Epic ❯ The Team Saga ( Chapter 14 )

THE EPIC

HAMMER AND SICKLE STUDIOS PRESENTS AN EPIC EDITED BY VOLKOV "INTERACTIVE STORY!!!" STARRING A TON OF RANDOM PEOPLE WRITTEN BY LORD FEAR HAKU SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG GRAND MASTER SHOMA SONICMON THE VIEW2FUL AND VOLKOV WRITTEN ON THE TRIPLE PEEPS FORUM IMAGINED BY LORD FEAR AND EDITED BY GREG "VOLKOV" PARAUBEK

14 and counting…read. NOW!

Disclaimer: Any characters not owned by, but not limited to, Sega, Square Enix, Nintendo, Namco, Capcom, Westwood, or any other company were created by us (the forum users) and cannot be used without our express permission. This story is joint property of all the people who wrote anything in it, and the Triple Peeps, who own the forum where this was placed. You steal, you suffer the consequences. You've been warned. Now read and enjoy!

INTERACTIVE STORY!!!

The Team Saga

Daigo: I must show Akira that Eggman is indeed evil!

Farah: Need some help?

Space Pirate X: I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

[Daigo, Farah, and Space Pirate X become Team Xploiter.]

Shadow: We best form a team as well! ROUGE! OMEGA! GO!!!

[In a cheezy Sonic Heroes-like CGI sequence, Team Dark is formed!]

Sonic: WE WILL JOIN YOU!!!

Knuckles: NO! We can't break the Sonic Heroes rule!

Tails: The WHAT?

Knuckles: Only three per team!

Sonic: But shouldn't we keep-

Knuckles: ONLY THREE!!! PER!!! TEAM!!!

Shadow: Fine! AWAY!!! (Rouge carries Shadow and Omega off)

Rouge: (struggling) AGH!!! WHAT DID YOU EAT?!

Shadow: I NEEDED MY DAILY HAPPY MEAL!!!

Tails: (shakes head) We're all screwed...

Lord Fear: I'm not staying out of this. I'm helping Eggman even if I'm not on his team.

Unicron: You are a LOSER!

Sturm: If the three of us team up, we can control the universe!

[Lord Fear, Sturm and Unicron form Team Black hole. Elsewhere…]

Amy: I must go after Sonic.

Cream: Cheese and I will join you!

Big: What about me?

Amy, Cream and Cheese: NO!

Tikal: I'm in!

[Amy, Cream, Tikal and Cheese maul Big and become Team Rose.]

Sonic: Well, what now?

Tails: Kick ass?

Knuckles: Indubitably.

Sonic: Hmm.

Knuckles: Yes.

Tails: Quite.

Quickman: Well, I'm off! Maybe I can join Megaman and kick some ass.

Tails: Nope; he already teamed up with Gutsman and Roll.

Quickman: Hmm...how about--

Knuckles: Bridget and Dizzy decided to team with May.

Quickman: Dammit... (about to say something)--

Sonic: And Edge and Akira went with Gan.

Quickman: FUCK! I have to find some Capcom people I can team up with!

Shadowman: We're available!

Swordman: Yes. That ungallant fiend Dr. Robotnik is trying to throw our world into a loop. I shall see to it, that Hell will take his grim visage!

Quickman: Good enough. Later.

[Some time passes.]

Sonic: Where do we start kicking some robo ass?

Tails: Hey Sonic! LOOK!

Knuckles: Green Hill!!

[Green Hill Zone is materializing out of nowhere.]

Sonic: The fuck?

GMS: Eggman has placed this holographic area to elude you. Unfortunately, you will have to go through it to reach Eggman and his companions.

Knuckles: That sucks.

GMS: Tell me about it. And the fact that the other teams might beat you three to them.

Tails: Oh good! They can do all the work!

Sonic: NO! That sounds like a fun little jaunt! Let's go!

[Team Sonic runs off.]

Eggman: So…how long until we can launch those missiles?

Bowser: A really, really, really long time.

Il Palazzo: We need to charge the weapons up faster.

Lord Fear: I can help!

Sturm: So can I.

Eggman: How?

Unicron: (robot mode) By using me!

Bowser: Whoa.

Il Palazzo: How did you get Unicron to be three meters {9 ft.} tall?

Lord Fear: By using the power of my rings!

Eggman: Are you the Lord of the Rings or something?

Lord Fear: Yes.

[Elsewhere, yet again…]

Sonic: Rules are made to be broken!

Knuckles: We must-

Tails: TO BE BROKEN!

Knuckles: Fine.

Shadow: Now we're all on the same team. Let's pick a leader.

Sonic: I vote for myself.

Rouge, Omega, Knuckles, and Tails: Shadow.

Sonic: What?

Shadow: Lets rule out men and women. {Ed. Note: At least I think that's what Lord Fear wrote…I honestly couldn't tell what he was saying.}

[And so, Team Sonic and Team Dark join forces to defeat an all too familiar doom.]

Sonic: BUT YOU'RE BENDING THE SONIC GAME CONTINUEUM!!!

Shadow: Your time is over, Sonic! It's time for THE Ultimate LIFEFORM to take over!!!

Tails: I voted Shadow cause he gave me a cookie!

Sonic: (evil look at Tails) Traitor...

Knuckles: (smug grin) I voted Shadow in exchange for a guaranteed way of stopping the Master Emerald from being stolen, broken, and so forth! (takes out plastic toy Exodia) GO EXODIA!!!

Sonic: (stares in more disbelief) Knuckles-

Knuckles: (pointing Exodia's little plastic blast thing at Sonic) OBLITERATE!!! (fires plastic blast thing)

Sonic: OW! THAT HIT MY EYE!!!

Rouge: I just voted him because I don't want blue boy ruining the plan.

Sonic: WHAT?! We nearly got plastered by Sephiroth's Black Punch Buggy because of Shadow's blasted "plan"!

Omega: DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Sonic: YOU GUYS DON'T COMPUTE!!!

Shadow: (blank look) All in favor of placing Sonic in the box...

Sonic: (cringes) I'LLBEGOOD!!!

[AT some unknown location.]

Sephiroth: I'm not going to sit on my ass all day.

Aeris: You said it, Sephy.

Cloud: Can I help?

Sephiroth: You can, (booming voice) BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORGET THE GAME FAQS GAMES CHRACTER BATTLE!

Cloud: You're going to lecture about that again?

Sephiroth: Yes I am.

[Sephiroth, Aeris and Cloud become Team Death. And so, as Team Death went off to cure their unbridled boredom, an insidious force plots bad things on the world...]

Eggman: Okay, what do we have ready to beat these guys down violently?

Il Palazzo: (holding a clipboard holding several papers) Let's see...We have over 8000 Shadow clones ready with more in production, your already infinite aquatic animal based armada of airships, the old Eggbots from Sonic CD, and some random crap you enjoy building for kicks...

Bowser: Not to mention all the stuff from our own respective worlds!

Eggman: I think we have nothing to worry about, chums! Course, that means we've got tons of downtime in waiting for complete chaos!

[After an ominous and long pause.]

Eggman: (suddenly holding a beer bottle) MILLER TIME!!!

Lord Fear: I have a plan.

Bowser: And that is?

Sturm: METEOR SKRIKE!

[Sturm's Super CO Power sends a Giant Meteor down to Earth where Team Dark (Shadow, Rouge, Omega, Tails, Knuckles and Sonic) is located.]

Eggman: How did you do that?

Sturm: When you shout out Egg Carrier it appears, so when I shout Meteor Strike a giant Meteor come out of nowhere and weakens the enemy.

Il Palazzo: That's the first paragraph of text he's had in ages!

Eggman: EGG BOMB!

[A giant egg comes out from the air and heads to where Team Dark; going faster then the Meteor. But WAIT! What happened where TEAM SHADOW is?!]

Sonic: BUT TEAM SHADOW IS GOING TO BREAK OFF OUR CONTRACT WITH SEGA!!!

Shadow: We don't NEED no Sega! We'll just buy out Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo. THEN they'll have NO CHOICE but to make games for us! (maniacal laugh)

Omega: (beep) MASSIVE OBJECTS HURDALING INTO OUR GENERAL LOCATION. SUGGESTION OF BEST PERFORMED ACTION: PANIC.

Shadow: Screw that! I'll take the foo!!!

Rouge: (suddenly running her fingers through Shadow's poofy; sultry voice) I love a man who is brave enough to take on giant objects of destruction...

Shadow: (standing boldly) I'm sure you do! And watch the poofy!!!

Tails: (mad) HEY! THAT'S MY GIMMIC!!!

Shadow: (long blank look at Tails; snaps fingers)

Knuckles: (picks up Tails; happy) SORRY! BOSS'S ORDERS!!! (throws Tails at the meteor)

Shadow: HEEEEEEROICS TIME!!! AWAY!!! (makes a death defying jump at the meteor)

[And so, Shadow flings himself at the Meteor, beating Tails to it. And so, what do you do when a giant object hurdles at your home planet? THAT'S RIGHT!!!]

Shadow: (palm forward) CHAOS CONTROL!!!

Chaos: (somehow on the Meteor; bowing to Shadow) Maaaaaaaaster...

Shadow: (anime sweatdrop) Okaaaaaay... plan B... (grabs Tails) Let's hope you're EXPLOSIVE!!! [hurls Tails really fast]

Tails: (about to hit the Meteor) SHIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! (BAAAAAAAAM!!!)

[Amazingly, the meteor is split into smaller meteors!]

Team Dark: (sans Tails and Shadow) HOORAY!!! (squashed by smaller meteors)

Shadow: (now walking along) ANOTHER JOB WELL-

[Just then, the area was hit by the Egg Bomb, resulting in then entire area being covered with a giant egg yolk.]

Shadow: (mortified) -..... scrambled...

[On the Death Egg 3.]

Eggman: Yosh!

Il Palazzo: It worked.

Sturm: They will learn to fear our power.

Unicron: They are on the run.

Bowser: That shows them.

Lord Fear: Behold the power of Eggman's EGG BOMB!

Sturm: We have to wait for the Meteor Strike and Egg Bomb to recharge.

[With Team Death.]

Cloud: Run! It's a tidal wave of yolk!

[Everyone runs away from Eggman's EGG BOMB and what remains of Sturm's Meteor Strike.]

[Back on the Death Egg 3.]

Bowser: FIRE CANNON!

Il Palazzo: THUNDER STRIKE!

Lord Fear: INSANITY STRIKE!

Unicron: SPIKE CANNON!

[Flames, thunder, spikes and insanity rain down to Earth.]

END OF THE TEAM SAGA!

{Ed. Note: Aggh! The suspense!}

Coming Soon: Stuff. You happy?