Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Fellowship of the Ring (Almost) ❯ Hello, Mis-s-ster Freeman ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter Five: Hello, Mis-s-ster Freeman

[The group has reached Black Mesa home of the G-Man and the powerful Marines and Black Ops. The group piles out of the Hippie Car and goes to the main chamber of Black Mesa where the G-Man, Yoda, Omochao, and Princess Peach are seated. The group sits down.]

G-Man: Gordon Freeman in the fles-s-sh or s-s-should I s-s-say (swallow) the Hazard S-s-suit?

Shadow: What about us?

Yoda: Ruin my car you did. Fortune will it cost to repair. Sue your asses off I will.

Shadow: Shut it old man.

Yoda: Trying to screw with me are you?

[Yoda pulls out his lightsaber. Out of nowhere thousands of Black Ops soldiers appear.]

Yoda: At my command these warriors, kill you they will.

Rouge: Gordon can take them!

Knuckles: Hey! I can too!

Amy: So can Sonic!

Tails: Amy, leave them all to me!

Amy: I don't think I will. You are a WEAKLING! And you're underage!

Tails: Uh-huh, Miss "I'm only 13"!

Omochao: Calm down people.

Knuckles: AAAHHHHH!!!!

[Knuckles goes into the fetal position. The Black Ops troops vanish back into the shadows and Yoda turns off his lightsaber.]

Omochao: Right. Anyways you guys have to destroy the One Ring before Sauron gets his hands on it. (Question: As you saw in the movies, Sauron is a floating eye. How does he expect to get his "hands" on the Ring? Discuss.)

Sonic: Ok, but to make the story more dynamic we need a group name.

Shadow: How about the Cronies?

Tails: Someone already took that.

G-Man: You will be THE FELLOWS-S-SHIP OF THE RING!

Rouge: Isn't Fellows-s-ship a bit odd?

Yoda: Lisp he has. Fellowship he means.

Amy: That sounds so…patented. I like it!

Tails: Me too! Me too!

Princess Peach: Ooh! Look at all the cute little animals!

[Peach plops Tails in her lap and starts to rub his stomach.]

Peach: They're fuzzy!

Tails: Stop lady! That tickles! No really! Acchkhh….mmm….that feels good…

G-Man: S-s-stop turning on members-s-s of (swallow) the Fellows-s-ship.

Tails: I'm not aroused!

Amy: That's not what I'm seeing from here.

[Tails looks down. He turns beet red and runs off.]

Sonic: So innocent. So going to get THE TALK when we get back.

Knuckles: So what do we do? AHHH! Omochao!

Omochao: You will head off to the Dark Lands of Mordor and drop the One Ring into Mt. DOOM, the eerie, lava spewing mountain of DOOM!

Sonic: Ok…I'm going to guess that this won't be easy.

Peach: He's funny looking!

G-Man: Not at all….the dangers-s-s you will face will be terrible.

Yoda: Much evil you will fight.

Omochao: Also, the Blue Wizard Mario has turned on us. He is building an army to crush us.

Peach: He had two tails!

Knuckles: No worries, we're the Fellowship! We can take anyone on! Right Rouge?

Rouge: Give it up.

Shadow: We sure won't be able to go on a vacation until we destroy this thing. To Mt. DOOM!

Omochao: Beware the Blue Wizard! He can ride in a shoe! He's Italian!

Shadow: What's he going to do? Threaten us with bad pizza?

Yoda: Unleash an army of DOOM he will.

Peach: I'm going to go bake muffins!

G-Man: Even as we s-s-speak, he is-s-s building an (swallow) army of thous-s-sands-s-s.

Sonic: We'll win! We have to! It's the law that good-guys always win! TO MT. DOOM!

Shadow: Can someone help me drag Knuckles to the car?

[Sonic and Shadow start dragging Knuckles to the car. Cut to the outside of Black Mesa. Sonic and Shadow toss the unconscious Knuckles into the trunk.]

Sonic: Anyone know where Tails went?

Tails: (Rushing out of Black Mesa) I'm here! Don't leave me with Peach!

Omochao: Be careful. The fate of Middle Earth rests on your shoulders. You may encounter many powerful and copyrighted friends and enemies. Sauron is trying to find the One Ring he won't stop till he gets it.

[The Fellowship piles into the car.]

Sonic: OK! South to Mordor! With possible stops along the way! At predetermined locations!

Fellowship: YEAH!

Yoda: (Walking up) Trying to leave you are? PAY FOR REPAIRS YOU NEED TO!

Shadow: Gun it Sonic!

[Sonic floors the accelerator and drives off.]

Yoda: BASTARDS!