Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Fellowship of the Ring (Almost) ❯ The Bridge of Khazad-DOOM! ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter Nine: The Bridge of Khazad-DOOM!

[A day or two has passed. The Fellowship is still trekking through Moria. At the moment, they're taking a break.]

Sonic: Damn, I hate this.

Shadow: Look at my poofy! All this soot and dust is ruining my poofy!

[Tails looks down and sees an egg shaped creature walking among the rubble. It stubs its toe.]

Eggman: Crap!

[Tails rushes to Sonic.]

Tails: Sonic! Eggman is following us!

Sonic: Arrg! I should have killed him a while ago!

Knuckles: Unfortunately you can't. Killing Eggman would make Sonic games rated at least "Teen". And we can't have that happen.

Shadow: (Sobbing) My poofy! My beautiful poofy! Ruined…

Knuckles: Hey Rouge! How about you and I make a Mature rated game?

[Rouge walks over to Knuckles.]

Rouge: How about I KICK YOU SORRY ASS? DO YOU REALIZE I'M A PERSON? I HAVE FEELINGS! I'M NOT A SEX TOY!

[Rouge breaks down in tears.]

Eggman: Crap! Crap! Darned big feet!

Amy: SHUT UP EGGMAN!

[Amy throws a rock at Eggman. The rock bounces off his head and down a well. Now we have the exact scene with the "drums in the deep'. Eggman rushes up to the Fellowship.]

Eggman: Hi!

Fellowship: (Silence)

Drums: Boom! Boom!

Eggman: Hi!

Fellowship: (Silence)

Drums: Boom! Boom!

Eggman: You know that an evil creature of DOOM is going to chase us?

Sonic: Well, duh.

Shadow: MY POOFY!

Drums: Boom! Boom!

Tails: Shouldn't we go? We have an exceptionally small bridge to escape over.

[The Fellowship (which now includes Robotnik/ Eggman) runs over the tiny bridge of Khazad-DOOM which is precariously perched over an immense, bottomless drop, in true movie fashion.]

Sonic: Well, we're safe.

Drums: Boom! Boom!

[Suddenly, the evil creature of DOOM shows up. It is…a freakishly oversized Jigglypuff of DOOM.]

Fellowship: AAAAHHHH!!!

Sonic: I can take him!

[Sonic walks up to the Jigglypuff of DOOM.]

Sonic: Hey! Lard Ass!

J.o.D.: Jiggly?

Knuckles: My thoughts exactly!

[The now recovered Rouge kicks Knuckles.]

Drums: Boom! Boom!

Sonic: Hey Fatty! I can take you!

J.o.D.: Jiggly! JIGGLY!

[In anger, The J.o.D. starts to inflate, becoming larger and larger. Sonic walks up to the J.o.D. and pokes it. The J.o.D. deflates and falls of the bridge. The drums stop.]

Sonic: That was easy.

Shadow: My poofy!

Eggman: You would have though at least one of us would have fallen off this bridge.

Amy: (Running towards Sonic) My herooooo….agghh!

[Amy trips and falls off the bridge.]

Eggman: Ah. That's better.

Tails: Should we save her?

Amy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Sonic: Hmm...no.

Amy: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Knuckles: She lets us meet our dead persons quota for the fist book.

Amy: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Sonic: Maybe she'll wash up somewhere.

Amy: (Gasping for breath)

Eggman: I don't think there's any water at the bottom.

Amy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

[The Fellowship pauses to think about what Eggman just said.]

Amy: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Shadow: My poofy!

Amy: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Sonic: Ah, she was just dead weight anyways. Let's go.

Amy: BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB-

Tails: Is she saying something?

Amy: -AAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

Sonic: The language!

Shadow: My poofy!

Rouge: Stick that poofy up your ass Shadow.

Knuckles: I'd like to stick my poofy up Rouge's a…AGGH!

[Before Knuckles can finish his horrible, XXX rated comment, he is beaten down by Rouge. The Fellowship exits the caves of Moria. They have some champagne to celebrate the occasion (Getting out of Moria, or if you prefer Amy falling down. Your choice.) They pack up and head onwards. Meanwhile, back in Moria…]

Megabyte: That was one sorry looking Jigglypuff of DOOM.

Cervantes: Arr!

Amy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Megabyte: (Peering down the chasm) Mustn't be too important.

Cervantes: Arr!

Amy: I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!

[Amy's voice fades away.]

Megabyte: That was odd.

Cervantes: Arr!

Megabyte: I'm going to kill you someday.

Cervantes: Arr!

Megabyte: (Grinding his teeth) Maybe…even…today…