Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Two Thingies of DOOM ❯ A Short Chapter (Thank God) ( Chapter 17 )

Chapter Seventeen: A Short Chapter (Thank God)

[Sonic and Tails are wandering through a forest.]

Sonic: Well, the second movie is almost over and we are still walking off towards Mt. DOOM.

Tails: This is so unimaginably boring…tree after tree after tree after…hey, a snake!

Sonic: Yeah.

Tails: You know, I wonder if we'll ever be in a famous book or possibly a multi-million dollar movie.

Sonic: Don't kid yourself. No one would watch a movie about this crap.

Tails: No, seriously! We could have porn star Ron Jeremy as Eggman, musician/ crappy actor Britney Spears as Princess Peach, mobster Al Pacino as Mario, Left-Wing Creature of Darkness James Carville as Agent 47, The "Rambo" guy Sylvester Stallone as Gordon Freeman, and maybe me as the Drop Dead Sexy Miles "Tails" Prower! Interested directors can contact me at 1-800-SEX-TOYS. Don't ask. It's my other business' phone number.

Sonic: You freak me out more and more…

Tails: (Seductive tone) I know.

Sonic: Ok, from now on you are staying the HELL AWAY FROM ME! Omochao? Where are you?

[The camera pans to Omochao2 who is hiding in a bush.]

Omochao2: He tricked us the dirty little bastard, broke the propeller on top of our head…

Omochao: Told you…

Omochao2: But I don't want to kill them…

Omochao: ALLRIGHT! Enough of this crap! You want the Ring; I want the Ring and WE ARE GOING TO HAVE IT!

Omochao2: But…

Omochao: SHUT UP!

[One of Omochao's hands starts to hit his face.]

Omochao: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

Omochao2: WAAHH!!

Omochao: Cry baby personality is gone. Now I can kill them…but, I'm too weak to do it on my own…

[Sonic and Tails start calling out for Omochao to come back.]

Sonic: Omochao? Where are you?

Tails: Come here you sexy little robot!

Sonic: YOU MOVE AN INCH CLOSER TO ME AND I RIP YOUR HEAD OFF TAILS!

Omochao: Then again…we can find someone else to do it for us…and then we can take the preciousss.

[Omochao comes out from behind the bush he was hiding in.]

Omochao: Let's go! There's a long way to go! One more movie to be exact!

Sonic: (Dripping with sarcasm) Oh joy.

Tails: (Just dripping) Yes! More time alone with Sonic!

Sonic: As soon as I get home I'm filing a restraining order against you!

Tails: You can restrain me any day!

Sonic: We are so ending the movie RIGHT NOW!

[The screen blackens and the credits roll.]

Sonic: Hello viewers! The director has contracted me to come out and share a message with you. It deals with vulgar language and swearing, like the kind you have just seen in this movie. We do not condone this kind of language and are strongly against its usage. Except in movies and music when it just plain kicks ASS! Oh crap. I wasn't supposed to say "ass". CRAP! I said "ass" again! OH SHIT! I CAN STOP SAYING "ASS"! SON OF A BITCH! I JUST SAID "ASS" AGAIN! OH FUCK! I CAN'T STOP GODDAMNED SWEARING! In the end kiddies, don't use this vile disgusting language. You wont get anywhere in life. You'll end up like me: mascot of the SEGA Corporation, main character of a multi-million copy selling game series, star of my own TV series, hero of an epic film series, and owner of a humongous mansion! Oh shit. That is so not going to stop kids from swearing…to hell with this crap. I'm going home. Away from Tails…fucking little gay bastard….

[Some vague mumbling is heard.]

Sonic: WHAT? I'M STILL ON? OH FUCKING [Censored] [Censored] [Censored]! I AM SO GOING TO GET MY ASS FIRED! YOU KNOW WHAT?! YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I'M THE STAR! YOU JUST CAN'T! AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I DID HOT NASTY [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] TO YOUR [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] WIFE [Censored] [Censored]! THE [Censored] [Censored] WHO- [Censored]! [Censored] HER RIGHT IN THE [Censored]! HJA! [Censored] [Censored] [Censored]!! HJA-HJA-HJA-HJA!

47: HJA? How sad is that?

Sonic: YOUR [Censored] [Censored] IS SAD!! [Censored]!

Eggman: Sonic! RUN! Gordon is chasing you with the Redeemer!

Sonic: The Redeemer? That's the one-shot tactical nuke? Right?

Eggman: Yes.

Sonic: OH SHI…

[Sonic's voice is drowned out by the sound of a nuclear explosion. Until next time! Seriously, swearing is not good. Join me for the third as-of-yet unnamed story! Coming soon! Possibly!]

END OF MOVIE TWO

[Author's Note: A big thanks goes out to Antipode for his great review of this story when it was up on fanficiton.net. Thanks a lot man!]