Stargate SG1 Fan Fiction ❯ The Secret Life of a Major General ❯ Chapter 38 ( Chapter 38 )

Chapter 38

O’Neill’s Residence, Alexandria, VA
July 1, 2005
Evening

Sam poked her head into the living room to observe the five gathered there before making her way into the kitchen. As she selected a wine glass for her father to use, the sound of someone entering the room had her turning her head quizzically towards the doorway.

“Daniel? Is there something I can do for you? Would you like something to drink?” Sam inquired of the bespectacled man.

Daniel shook his head and then had to push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose when the motion was done. “No, I’m good. I just wanted to talk with you for a bit. Now that you’re not dragging me through the hell you call shopping.”

Sam snorted. Amused by his description of the Saturday they had spent together as she moved towards the upper cupboard holding the wines and liquors. “Sure Daniel, what do you want to talk about?”

“I’m really happy you’re marrying Jack,” Daniel stated with great sincerity, “but I was just wondering, really, how things changed so fast?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Jack left at the end of February for the HWS and by the middle of March had his nephew and niece with him. He didn’t discuss the director position with us like he did SGC commander and none of us—none—were told about the twins.”

“You’d have to ask him those things Daniel.” Sam opened the cupboards and studied the collection of wine bottles.

“I’m just wondering how you’re okay with all that.”

Sam closed her eyes as she rested her head against the cupboard edge. Opening her eyes again she treaded the line of truth cautiously. “I can’t say I’m alright with all his reasons but I can understand them.”

“What do you mean by that?” Daniel frowned.

“Look Daniel,” Sam turned to face him as she spoke earnestly, “I know all of this is moving quickly and seems very sudden—what with me being engaged to Pete and then suddenly engaged to Jack—but everything was more a tipping point than a sudden development.”

Daniel’s frown remained. “I still don’t understand how you’re so relaxed about it.”

Sam sighed as she looked away.

“Well Sam?” Daniel pressed as he took a step closer.

“I already told you on Saturday, it was me visiting Jack that led to this change,” Sam resolutely looked back and met Daniel’s gaze. “I’m the one that took the first step, so while yes, I was hurt—just as you are now—that Jack didn’t tell me about the twins and in effect stepped out of our lives—I understand the reason why he did what he did.”

Daniel rocked back on his heels, frustrated with the circular conversation Sam was holding with him. “You keep saying you understand—why do you understand? What do you understand?”

Another sigh slipped from Sam but her gaze remained steady. “I told you, you’ll have to ask him those things yourself.”

“Alright, alright,” Daniel grumbled as he looked away. “I’ll ask him. I just—I just don’t want you two hurt with things moving so quickly. You’re both my friends and I don’t…”

“Thank you for that concern Daniel,” Sam said gently as she finally poured wine into the glass she had selected earlier, “but this is something we’re both committed to.” As she departed the kitchen she knew that Daniel had no idea how true that last statement was. For it applied not only to their commitment to loving each other, but their commitment to ensuring the twins’ safety at all costs.

That evening, wearing her nightclothes, Sam listened to Jack prepare for bed as she leaned her head sombrely against the window of the master bedroom, looking out into the night. Cassie had won the dice roll for the guest bedroom, her father was on the pull-out-couch and Daniel and Teal’c on blow up mattresses.

“What is it Sam?” Jack asked quietly as he came up behind her and lightly rested his hands on her shoulders.

“I just wish we could tell them,” she said quietly into the glass.

“We already talked about this,” Jack’s voice was just as quiet. “I know you want to. I know that keeping this from them isn’t your nature, but it needs to be done.”

“But why? They can keep a secret—”

“Yes,” Jack stated firmly. “They can. And we can trust them with it. But if we tell Teal’c or Daniel, what’s to stop us from telling Hammond or Jacob? Or anyone else we consider family? You know that the more people that know, the less safe they are. It’s just the nature of secrets.”

“I know,” Sam whispered as she raised a hand to rub the tight spot over her heart. “It just hurts—not telling them and knowing in their shoes that I’d want to know and—”

Jack’s hands squeezed her shoulders. “I know Sam. I know. You want to tell them so you aren’t lying to them, so that you can talk to them openly about it, and that them knowing might give us a heads up on other people asking suspicious things, and so that they won’t have any questions themselves.”

Sam gave a jerky little nod, knowing that Jack was just listing off the points she had already given him as reasons to tell. Fresh on her mind in particular was Daniel’s questioning in the kitchen before they’d sat down for their supper of barbequed corn on the cob and steaks.

“Sam, we already agreed,” Jack’s hands began sliding down her arms, “their safety is worth more. And I’m not willing to—I can’t—”

As close as Jack was to her, Sam clearly heard the hitch in his voice as his hands stopped moving on her wrists. She lifted her head from its position leaning against the window and twisted around to face Jack as his hands fell away. His face was set in harsh lines, a muscle in his jaw working convulsively as his haunted eyes looked to the side at the collection of photographs on the bedside table.

She knew without following his line of sight, which child he was looking at. Sam closed her eyes briefly. In the end, it had not been Jack’s firm conviction that the more people that knew the greater the danger, or even her own fear of the danger with the twins’ recent kidnapping, but that old pain that had her agreeing not to tell anyone.

Jack’s pain over what he would forever feel was his failure to protect his firstborn.

“I’m sorry Jack,” Sam slipped her arms around his waist and leaned into him. “I guess I’m just feeling more pressured by Daniel’s questions than I thought I would. I won’t speak of it again.”

As Sam held the hug, slowly Jack’s arms rose to return the embrace, his chin finally coming to rest on the top of her head that was tucked into his neck.

“Don’t—don’t stop talking,” Jack finally said haltingly, “about feeling pressured from Daniel or anyone else. I don’t want you to ever stop telling me things like that—it’s those things that build a strong marriage. I just know that I couldn’t take it again. And if it means that a friendship is damaged if the lie is revealed, so be it. They are more than worth it.”

Sam nodded against his chest. She would tell him about such things and while she did not necessarily agree with his last statement for herself, she knew that for him it was true.