Stargate SG1 Fan Fiction ❯ The Secret Life of a Major General ❯ Chapter 39 ( Chapter 39 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 39

Kitchen, O’Neill’s Residence, Washington, DC
July 2, 2005
Late Morning

Hands buried in soapy water Jack glanced up from washing dishes in his kitchen sink as Daniel entered the room. Daniel set the last of the breakfast dishes onto the countertop beside his industrious friend and then leaning against the counter’s edge observed Jack at work. After washing and rinsing off a few dishes before placing the items in the drying rack Jack finally quirked an inquiring eyebrow at Daniel.

Daniel was sporting an expression that was both deeply thoughtful and earnest that Jack had long ago identified as the archaeologist’s ‘I want to talk’ mode although Daniel, if he was aware of it, probably thought of it as his ‘Jack needs to talk so I will get him to talk’ face.

That just showed how different their take on different aspects of life was.

“Is there something you want Daniel or are you just going to stand there admiring my dashing good looks?” Jack quipped.

Daniel cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, not put off in the slightest by Jack’s attempt to distract him from the talk they needed to have. “I am just trying to understand some things Jack and I figured you would be the best to ask.”

“Understand what things?” Jack reluctantly obliged Daniel’s curious and meddling nature, figuring that if he spoke some with Daniel the younger man might stop pushing Sam for answers he wasn’t allowing her to tell.

“Just this,” Daniel waved a hand about to encompass their surroundings. “Back in January your sister and brother-in-law die leaving you guardian of their twins and you tell us nothing about it or them. In February you announce your promotion from SGC commander to HWS head and again tell us nothing. In May your niece and nephew and Sam are kidnapped by goa’ulds and again we aren’t told or included in their rescues. I leave for Nalini and upon my return expecting to attend Sam’s wedding to a man she’s been engaged to for eleven months—almost a year—has been cancelled three weeks before the date and the day afterwards, she’s marrying you.”

“So?”

“So?” Daniel’s tone was exasperated. “So what the heck is going on? Don’t you think all of this is a little sudden? Too many changes at once?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Of course it matters!”

“Why?” Jack persisted to question.

Daniel’s shoulders slumped as he huffed out another exasperated breath before answering in a quiet voice. “Because I don’t want you to get hurt any more.”

Jack pulled the drain of the sink and half turned towards his friend. The two regarded each other for long tense moments before Daniel looked away.

“I don’t want you or Sam to get hurt any more because you are moving too fast. For Christ’s sake Jack, you were dating Kerry, then you become a parent again, then you’re promoted and move to another state, then you have to deal with your children’s kidnapping, then you’re engaged to marry Sam when last I knew you were seeing Kerry.”

“You’ve already pointed all that out,” Jack said quietly. “And why do I get the feeling you’re bothered more by not knowing than by what happened?”

“That’s not true!” Daniel protested earnestly. “Yes, I am upset that you didn’t tell me—didn’t tell us—because I thought were close friends that shared stuff like that! But even though that hurt me, I can’t just stand by and let you get hurt again. And I know you’ve been hurt—that Sam hurt you.”

Jack turned away. “Alright Daniel. What do you want me to say?”

“I just want you to admit that and explain why you’re doing what you’re doing now.”

Jack turned back to Daniel, his face tight with emotions and his barely held control leaked into his voice as he said lowly, “Alright Daniel I’ll admit it. I was hurt.”

“By what?” Daniel probed not satisfied with the non-specific admission.

“I was hurt by Sam’s dating and then getting engaged to that damn stalking asshole,” Jack gritted out through his teeth as he took a menacing step towards Daniel. “I was hurt by Julie’s death and suddenly becoming a parent again and am terrified that I’ll fuck up again. That I’ve already fucked up with them being taken by Kinsey’s snake and that my fuck up got Sam tangled up in the mess and she had to endure being kidnapped on Earth again.”

Daniel stood his ground as Jack, with brown eyes burning with emotion, got right into his face.

“You don’t think I still don’t worry? About my children? About Sam? Who all of a sudden is in a relationship with me right before marrying Shanahan only after finding out—” Jack brutally cut himself off. Not even in the heat of anger would he let anything lose that might have anyone, Daniel especially, questioning more about the children. Taking a breath, Jack took a step back from Daniel and turned away thinking of his own private fear that had festered since Sam’s proposal.

For years they had a good working relationship and platonic friendship and only after finding out about the children did she suddenly want him. How could he trust that she really wanted this? That she really loved him as she claimed? Her track record was not the most reassuring, she had claimed to love both Jonas Hanson and Pete Shanahan who were both pretty much crazies and become engaged to them only to call off those engagements sometime before the wedding.

Could she really commit herself to any man? Let alone him?

“Found out what Jack?” Daniel encouraged as he took a step towards Jack after the man had turned away and fallen silent.

“Some stuff about Shanahan,” Jack waved a hand dismissively without turning back to face Daniel. “So yes Daniel, I’ve admitted it. Sam hurt me and she hurt me badly. But she says she wants this and I’ve always left this to her.”

“So you’re just going to do what she wants?” Daniel asked incredulously.

“It’s my choice Daniel,” Jack turned back once he had his emotions and expression under his control again.

“So you’re just going to let it go? I can’t believe you’d do that.”

“What do you expect Daniel? For me to make Sam grovel?”

“Well, no,” Daniel blinked, “I just can’t believe you would forgive so easily.”

“Who’s said he’s forgiven me?” Sam said quietly from the kitchen doorway.

Daniel turned sharply to face Sam with a guilty look on his face while Jack looked at his fiancée impassively.

Sam stepped through the archway and locked her eyes with Daniel’s. “I said to talk to him about his reasons for what he did—not telling us about the children—if you really needed to know, not grill him about how all this makes him feel.”

“Sam—” Daniel begun to protest.

“You don’t think I don’t know I hurt him badly?” Sam demanded. “You don’t think I don’t know that? That just because I’m with him now it’s all gone—forgiven? Give me a break Daniel, I know Jack doesn’t forgive easily—I was there when Cromwell was on base, I saw that it took his death for Jack to start forgiving.”

“Sam,” Jack protested as he held a hand out to her.

Sam looked from Daniel to her fiancé. “I know I’ve hurt you Jack, I just hope it doesn’t take a life time for you to trust your heart to me again.” Sam looked from Jack back to Daniel. “But that life time will be with him and I am not letting that chance go. Now excuse me, I have to pick up Mark at the airport.”

Daniel looked helplessly at Sam as she turned and walked stiffly from the kitchen towards the entranceway and exited the house. He turned towards Jack but did not say anything more when he saw the thoughtful look in the older man’s eyes as he looked in the direction Sam had departed in.

Jack was thinking that for all the time they spent talking together, phone conversations, when with the children, in bed together at night, and even with all those open and heartfelt discussions between them, Sam had never mentioned that she felt she had to make amends. He had simply decided that even with his insecurities he would take whatever Sam offered even if it meant never addressing what had come before.

But it looked like—if they were going continue talking and have honesty between them, like they’d discussed last night before sleeping—he would have to convince her of the sincerity of his emotions for her, and trust himself to believe in hers again.

And suddenly, he did not think he would have much trouble on that account.