The Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction ❯ Link and the Mullet ❯ The Ghost Of Klaina Forest ( Chapter 4 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Nova-san 
Link and Nova set out toward the temple in Klaina Forest. But the entity they meet in the forest decides to have fun with them.
Non Anime: The Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.28.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 996 | Visits: 154 | Status: Work In Progress
Link and Nova set out toward the temple in Klaina Forest. But the entity they meet in the forest decides to have fun with them.
Non Anime: The Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.28.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 996 | Visits: 154 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter IV: The ghost of Klaina Forest
Nova and Link have just arrived at Klaina Forest.
Nova: We have to get that scroll for Elder Meltarr.
Link: He’s that cow, right?
Nova: Yeah.
Link: Cows are tasty.
Nova: Link, what the hell?
Link: That cow looked pretty tasty too. Even though he was missing legs. Tasty legs… *begins to drool and drone a la Homer Simpson*
Nova slaps Link upside the head.
Link: Ow.
Nova: Are you planning to cook the elder, you sick bastard?
Link: No. I thought of legs and remembered cuccos. Mmm, cuccos…
Nova: Hey, c’mon. We gotta go.
Link and Nova enter the forest.
Nova: It’s pretty dark in here.
Link: I’m scared.
Nova: … You gotta be kidding. Come on, we just got here.
Link: It’s dark. Link don’t do dark.
Nova: I was reading the otaku guide earlier, and it said that you always end up in the dark somewhere.
Link: And I’m always scared as crap when I do.
Nova: How is it that you’re nailing Princess Zelda again?
Link: I make her laugh.
Nova: I guess even princesses like to laugh.
Link: I don’t like this place. Nova, let’s go back.
Nova: Come on, dude. You’re tougher than this. What happened to the guy who stopped the moon from falling?
Link: I did do that, didn’t I?
Nova: According to the guide.
Link: That thing’s never wrong. How does it know so much about me?
Nova: It’s written by Vitanova.
Link: Strange. Navi mentioned that name too. Who is that guy?
Nova: I don’t know. But I heard he likes something called anime. What is anime?
Link: You’re asking the wrong Hylian.
Suddenly, the wind begins to blow.
Nova: … Damn it. It’s cold. *tightens cloak*
Link: Brrr… *shivers*
Voice: Nova, come out and plaaaiiiaaaayyyyy…
Nova: Was that you, Link?
Link: *in tiny voice* No. I thought it was you.
Voice: Link, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to dooooooooooooo…
Link: That’s not funny. Cut it out, Nova.
Nova: I’m not doing it.
Voice: If you should die before you wake…
Link: *screams and faints*
Nova: Link? *draws katana* Okay, fucker. Where are you?
Voice: Noooovaaaaa… Oh, Noooovaaaaa…
Nova: How do you know my name?
Voice: 1, 2 , I’m comin’ for you…
Nova: Who are you?
Suddenly, a female spirit appears.
Nova: What the HELL?
Spirit: Did I scare you?
Nova: Hell yeah, you scared me!
Spirit: Sorry, Nova.
Nova: How the hell do you know… Annette?
Spirit: Yes, it’s me.
Nova: But you’re a freakin’ ghost. What happened?
Annette: I was cursed.
Nova: *sheathes katana* Cursed? More like killed.
Annette: Not quite. My body is still alive. It’s just comatose without a soul.
Nova: I see.
Annette: So, I’ve been prowling around Klaina Forest, scaring the shit out of people. Sorry for fucking with you.
Nova: I’m just glad it’s you and not a real ghost.
Annette: I’m a real ghost.
Nova: You know what I mean.
Annette: Right. *looks at Link* Looks like I got Link pretty good.
Nova: How do you know Link?
Annette: Otaku guide.
Nova: Cool. I have one too. Who cursed you, anyway?
Annette: A man named Ganondorf.
Link hops up.
Link: Ganondorf!? I’ll kill the bastard! *draws cane of Somaria*
Nova: Ganondorf’s not here!
Link: Oh. *puts away cane* What happened?
Link sees Annette, who waves at him.
Link: GHOST!
Nova: It’s cool. She’s a friend.
Annette: Friend? Just a FRIEND?
Link: You two have some history?
Annette: Look here, kid. While you were off saving Hyrule and stuff. Me and this guy were having hot, kinky, freaky, messy, dirty hot sex.
Link: *grabs a bowl of popcorn* Tell me more.
Nova: Annette, you know I get embarrassed when you talk about stuff like that.
Annette: But, so much rug burn…
Nova: *sighs* Okay, he knows now. Can we go on now?
Annette: Where are you going?
Nova: The temple where the Mullet Scroll is.
Annette: Kickass! I’m coming with.
Nova: Sure, why not.
Link: The ghost is on our side? But what can she do?
Annette: I’m a level 30 dungeon mage. I’m sure I can help.
Link: Badass.
And so they start toward the temple once more.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Nova: This chapter was okay, I guess.
Floyd: Can I have that Annette chick’s number?
Nova: *spin kicks Floyd*
Floyd: Ow. That always means no…
Potsie the pot-smoking fox: Nova, can I borrow money?
Nova: Sure. *hands Potsie money*
Floyd: Oh. He gets money, but I can’t bang your ex-girlfriend. I see how it is.
Nova: You’re a retard, Floyd.
Nova and Link have just arrived at Klaina Forest.
Nova: We have to get that scroll for Elder Meltarr.
Link: He’s that cow, right?
Nova: Yeah.
Link: Cows are tasty.
Nova: Link, what the hell?
Link: That cow looked pretty tasty too. Even though he was missing legs. Tasty legs… *begins to drool and drone a la Homer Simpson*
Nova slaps Link upside the head.
Link: Ow.
Nova: Are you planning to cook the elder, you sick bastard?
Link: No. I thought of legs and remembered cuccos. Mmm, cuccos…
Nova: Hey, c’mon. We gotta go.
Link and Nova enter the forest.
Nova: It’s pretty dark in here.
Link: I’m scared.
Nova: … You gotta be kidding. Come on, we just got here.
Link: It’s dark. Link don’t do dark.
Nova: I was reading the otaku guide earlier, and it said that you always end up in the dark somewhere.
Link: And I’m always scared as crap when I do.
Nova: How is it that you’re nailing Princess Zelda again?
Link: I make her laugh.
Nova: I guess even princesses like to laugh.
Link: I don’t like this place. Nova, let’s go back.
Nova: Come on, dude. You’re tougher than this. What happened to the guy who stopped the moon from falling?
Link: I did do that, didn’t I?
Nova: According to the guide.
Link: That thing’s never wrong. How does it know so much about me?
Nova: It’s written by Vitanova.
Link: Strange. Navi mentioned that name too. Who is that guy?
Nova: I don’t know. But I heard he likes something called anime. What is anime?
Link: You’re asking the wrong Hylian.
Suddenly, the wind begins to blow.
Nova: … Damn it. It’s cold. *tightens cloak*
Link: Brrr… *shivers*
Voice: Nova, come out and plaaaiiiaaaayyyyy…
Nova: Was that you, Link?
Link: *in tiny voice* No. I thought it was you.
Voice: Link, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to dooooooooooooo…
Link: That’s not funny. Cut it out, Nova.
Nova: I’m not doing it.
Voice: If you should die before you wake…
Link: *screams and faints*
Nova: Link? *draws katana* Okay, fucker. Where are you?
Voice: Noooovaaaaa… Oh, Noooovaaaaa…
Nova: How do you know my name?
Voice: 1, 2 , I’m comin’ for you…
Nova: Who are you?
Suddenly, a female spirit appears.
Nova: What the HELL?
Spirit: Did I scare you?
Nova: Hell yeah, you scared me!
Spirit: Sorry, Nova.
Nova: How the hell do you know… Annette?
Spirit: Yes, it’s me.
Nova: But you’re a freakin’ ghost. What happened?
Annette: I was cursed.
Nova: *sheathes katana* Cursed? More like killed.
Annette: Not quite. My body is still alive. It’s just comatose without a soul.
Nova: I see.
Annette: So, I’ve been prowling around Klaina Forest, scaring the shit out of people. Sorry for fucking with you.
Nova: I’m just glad it’s you and not a real ghost.
Annette: I’m a real ghost.
Nova: You know what I mean.
Annette: Right. *looks at Link* Looks like I got Link pretty good.
Nova: How do you know Link?
Annette: Otaku guide.
Nova: Cool. I have one too. Who cursed you, anyway?
Annette: A man named Ganondorf.
Link hops up.
Link: Ganondorf!? I’ll kill the bastard! *draws cane of Somaria*
Nova: Ganondorf’s not here!
Link: Oh. *puts away cane* What happened?
Link sees Annette, who waves at him.
Link: GHOST!
Nova: It’s cool. She’s a friend.
Annette: Friend? Just a FRIEND?
Link: You two have some history?
Annette: Look here, kid. While you were off saving Hyrule and stuff. Me and this guy were having hot, kinky, freaky, messy, dirty hot sex.
Link: *grabs a bowl of popcorn* Tell me more.
Nova: Annette, you know I get embarrassed when you talk about stuff like that.
Annette: But, so much rug burn…
Nova: *sighs* Okay, he knows now. Can we go on now?
Annette: Where are you going?
Nova: The temple where the Mullet Scroll is.
Annette: Kickass! I’m coming with.
Nova: Sure, why not.
Link: The ghost is on our side? But what can she do?
Annette: I’m a level 30 dungeon mage. I’m sure I can help.
Link: Badass.
And so they start toward the temple once more.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Nova: This chapter was okay, I guess.
Floyd: Can I have that Annette chick’s number?
Nova: *spin kicks Floyd*
Floyd: Ow. That always means no…
Potsie the pot-smoking fox: Nova, can I borrow money?
Nova: Sure. *hands Potsie money*
Floyd: Oh. He gets money, but I can’t bang your ex-girlfriend. I see how it is.
Nova: You’re a retard, Floyd.