Tokyo Babylon Fan Fiction / X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Souls ❯ VII ( Chapter 7 )

At some point Kamui had moved to sit at the edge of Subaru's bed, and the two held each other and cried until there were no tears left to shed. They then began to talk; sharing stories of things they remembered, finding common threads that seemed to catch Kamui by complete surprise. They avoided painful things, or glossed over them for the sake of background. Subaru learned a few more things about the memories he was missing, though there was obviously a lot that Kamui didn't know. A couple of times Subaru thought he could almost see something, almost remember a bit of what they talked about, but the feeling didn't last long. Every time he felt a hint of memory he also felt a touch of fear, and immediately shied away from the topic.

A few people wandered into the room through the day. Subaru had the pleasure of meeting the other two Seals and was a little surprised to see that they were both older than him. He hadn't been quite sure what to expect, but everyone else was so young he had started to wonder. Neither of them stayed long though, and neither seemed to think it strange that Kamui had been there all day and showed no signs of leaving.

It was mid-afternoon when they were interrupted by a bright knock at the door. "Subaru-kun! I hope you don't mind I brought you donuts!"

Kamui tried to jump off the bed, but Subaru had a death grip on his shoulders as soon as he heard that voice. He silently begged Kamui not to leave. He couldn't handle this meeting alone. Kamui looked sympathetic, but he still pulled away to stand. "Sakurazuka-san," Kamui inclined his head slightly in greeting, but that was all.

"Shirou-kun! I don't know what kind of donuts you like, but there should be enough to share."

The donuts were the same kind that Seishirou had asked for when he was in the hospital. Subaru gulped, overwhelmed. He was holding onto Kamui's sleeve, unable to completely let go. "Seishirou-san." Subaru wasn't ready for this. He didn't know how to react to Seishirou now. Not after what Kamui had told him about Hokuto. He just didn't know what to do.

Seishirou walked in and put the bag of donuts on the bedside table next to a few gifts and flowers. He looked at Subaru and Kamui in silence and then let out a long sigh. "Would it help if I apologized again for killing her?" he asked, looking weary.

Subaru stopped breathing for a long moment. He didn't know how to answer that. He looked up at Kamui for reassurance or an answer or something, anything to help him handle this situation. Kamui just looked back impassively, though Subaru thought he might have seen a touch of sympathy there. That was all.

"Why?"

Seishirou actually winced when Subaru asked that question. Subaru glanced at Kamui to see the teenager bite his lower lip. Neither looked at all happy.

"She asked me to," Seishirou replied. "At the time I thought it was a foolish waste of her life, but I saw no reason to deny her. A last favor to a friend, as it were."

"Because she asked?" What kind of a sick joke was this? Subaru felt ill, and an absurd part of his brain popped in to say he wouldn't be enjoying those donuts at all because of this. Not that he'd expected to.

Seishirou looked away. "Yes."

"Get out," Subaru said in a strangely flat tone, "and take your fucking donuts with you."

Whoa. Where had that come from? Subaru had never been one to use that language. He'd heard it often enough, but he'd been raised too proper to consider uttering something like that. No matter what. It was quite a surprise to hear those words coming from his mouth, but it also felt strangely good. Cathartic. It was a necessary release.

But Seishirou actually picked up the bag of donuts and left. That didn't feel good at all. Well, it felt downright rotten, like he was watching a part of himself get cut off and thrown away. An important part, like an arm or a leg.

Or a heart.

He looked up at Kamui again. "I think I'd cry again if I weren't so tired."

Kamui blinked, looking like he was waking from a particularly disturbing dream. "Yeah." He reached over and squeezed Subaru's hand comfortingly. "Maybe you should sleep."

Subaru nodded and squeezed his eyes shut. The last thing he remembered before sleep claimed him was the feel of Kamui gently brushing away his tears.