Tokyo Babylon Fan Fiction / X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Souls ❯ XVIII ( Chapter 18 )

Subaru woke up alone. He had a vague recollection that he had woken once before, and that Seishirou had been there, but now he was alone.

He was surprised that it hurt so much, and that he felt abandoned by the assassin. It was silly to feel like this. He knew Seishirou would be back--right? He always showed up again. But, for several long moments he doubted. He wondered. What, exactly, would it take to drive Seishirou away? Without knowing what they really had between them, he didn't know how strong whatever they had was.

The window was showing a bright and sunny day, with only a few puffy clouds drifting past. Subaru wondered how long it would be before he would get out of here this time. He'd just gotten out of the hospital, and already he was right back in. And, if Fuuma could be believed, it was for the same reason.

He groaned and curled up on his side. He was starting to feel pain, and that didn't help his mood at all. A nurse would probably be in soon. Then he wouldn't feel so alone and abandoned. Subaru was finding that he really did hate hospitals, and it went beyond what had happened to him as a teenager. He knew somehow that it went beyond the things he could remember, but he did not want to think too hard on that now.

Subaru's heart leapt a moment before he became aware that someone had entered the room. A full two moments before he realized who it was. He rolled over with a mix of hope and apprehension. "Seishirou-san." He tried to sit up, but his whole head started throbbing.

"Don't try to sit up yet," Seishirou said, hurrying over. "That's why the bed elevates. Or, have you forgotten already?"

Subaru shook his head sheepishly and pushed the button to elevate the head of the bed. "I was surprised," he started, not wanting to admit he'd been afraid Seishirou would not be there at all.

Seishirou nodded, sitting easily at the side of the bed. "When I left you were fast asleep," he said, shaking his head slowly. "How long were you curled up in a little ball of misery?"

"You saw that?" Subaru blushed slightly, ashamed to have been caught at that...still ashamed to be caught at so many things it seemed....

"No," Seishirou's lips quirked into a half smile. "I just know you."

"I'm that predictable?" He couldn't help it...he found himself pouting, and it was almost playful. He felt right, acting like this. Like it was perfectly natural between them.

Seishirou's face brightened, making Subaru's heart start beating faster. "Not in the least," he said, caressing Subaru's cheek. "You're constantly surprising me. After five years of living together, there are just some things you know."

Oh. "So, we really lived together for that long?"

"Yes." He stared intently into the younger onmyouji's eyes, leaning forward. "I was telling you the absolute truth when I said I loved you," Seishirou murmured.

Subaru just did not know what to say about that. He stared up at Seishirou in wonder, feeling the truth in those words more than he imagined possible. He hesitantly lifted a hand to Seishirou's chest, hovering over his heart, as if he could touch the emotion with his fingers and find its echo within himself.

Someone else had entered the room.

It wasn't enough to break the two of them apart for a long moment, but it held them in check until Subaru looked over toward the door. He pulled away suddenly, staring in wide-eyed surprise. The figure in the wheelchair looked equally surprised.

"Grandmother," Subaru squeaked.

Seishirou stood and sighed. "I'm going to go have another cigarette."

Subaru shot him a pleading glance, not wanting to be left alone with her to try to explain things. He didn't even know what he would explain. Panic rose in his chest, but Seishirou was already walking out the door, raising the cigarette in his hand as if in salute. He didn't look back.

"Subaru-san," she began with a sigh, wheeling herself into the room.

Great. What was he supposed to say now?