Trigun Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ D/Chick and County One-Shots ❯ Hooray for Sailor Fuku Day! ( Chapter 12 )

Hooray for Sailor Fuku Day!

-A D/Chick and County One-Shot Rant-

D/Chick: (Lounged across the One-Shot Sofa eating her fundraiser chocolate) Sigh…

Television: (Jennifer's voice) But Felipe, I love you! How can you dare break my delicate heart?!

D/Chick: (Shakes fist) Yeah, how could you, you bastard!!

Television: (Felipe's voice) I'm sorry, but we just can't love each other. We're siblings, after all…

D/Chick: (Cringes) True…

Television: (Jennifer) But love has no boundaries!

D/Chick: I second that! I love Great Great Penguin and he loves me, no matter what anyone says! (*Note: Great Great Penguin is Sesshomaru from Inu-Yasha ^^; *)

Television: (Monica) Bahaha! Felipe will be mine forever!

D/Chick: o.O Random.

Television: (Jennifer) NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

D/Chick: (Pulls out a tissue) Poor Jennifer! Her heart will never heal!

County: (Takes remote and clicks T.V. off) Ugh…I can't take it any more…

D/Chick: (Leaps off the couch) HEY! I was watching that!

County: I'd just like to know why all Soap Operas these days are incestual. It's gross.

D/Chick: But what about Knives and Vash?

County: (Clutches his throat and starts gagging) AHHHHHGGGGGGG!!! UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! EEEEHHHHHHGHGGGGGGGGGG!!!

D/Chick: (Starts laughing at County) Just joking, Boy! Just joking!

County: (Straightens up with a grimace) Ok, I'll half believe you on that…anyways, we got this in the mail…figured you'd want to read it. (Hands an already-opened envelope)

D/Chick: (Quirks an eyebrow) Y'know, County, it isn't polite to read other people's MAIL.

County: (Scoffs) Since when did I have to be polite to you?

D/Chick: (Shakes head) Whatever…(Take out official-looking note) … (Reads out loud) Dear (blurb) Middle School Students:

This week of (blurb blurb blurb), we are featuring a special cultural day. We have thoroughly considered this idea given to us by Hilary (blurb), and have finally decided that it will be an official event…students, we present…SAILOR FUKU DAY!

Sincerely, (blurb) Middle School Staff

County: (Waits) …

D/Chick: …

County: …

D/Chick: (Jumps exuberantly) YA-HOOOOO!!!!!!! HOORAY FOR SAILOR FUKU DAY! (Starts hopping around in place) Oooohh, I gotta tell EVERYONE! This is FABULOUS! INCREDIBLE! STUPENDOUS! EXHILIRATING! (Breaks out in Spanish) ESTUPENDO! FANTASTICO! INCREIBLE! FABULOSO! MARAVILLOSO! IMPRESIONANTE!…….

County: (Shakes head)

*

*

*

D/Chick: (Smoothes out blue pleated skirt) This is so cute!

Kuroneko PB: I know! (Plays with the top button on her uniform)

Yuki: ^^ I just wonder how everyone managed to get sailor fukus.

Nesreeny: …Or how the school system forced everyone to wear one…

D/Chick: ^^; Oh well! They're still cute!

*The Eighth grade bell rings*

D/Chick: (Slings on backpack) Guess I'll catch you guys later!

*First Period: Algebra (Shudders)*

D/Chick: (Nodding off, desperately trying to stay awake)

Boring-Assed Teacher: (Seated at the overhead) Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah this will be on your homework tonight blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…

D/Chick: (Snaps head up) Huh?

Boring-Assed Teacher: …Blah blah blah blah blah blah D/Chick missed this problem on her paper blah blah blah blah blah blah blah so did Yuki and Munki blah blah blah blah blah I'm going to point out everyone's mistakes and ridicule them blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…

Yuki and D/Chick: (+-_-)

Munki: (In another class)

Boring-Assed Teacher: (Gets scary grin) Two up, two up, two up! (Slowly sways back and forth silently for a few moments) …Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…

D/Chick: (To herself) O.o OK, because that was the weirdest thing ever…

*Second Period: U.S. History*

Strange Teacher: (Struts around in a purple felt cape and fake crown) I am King George! (Pulls bean plants out of their respectable dirt) I will take your Seeds of Change!

D/Chick: ^____^ Ms. Strange is cool. She helps me wake up after Ms. Boring-Ass's class.

Strange Teacher: (Finishes presentation) ^^ (Takes off cape and crown) My, you kids certainly look nice in your little Japanese uniforms! And the boys look so nice, too!

Boys: +-_- (In their nice uniforms and terribly unhappy about it)

*Suddenly, the door slams open!*

Everyone: GASP!

*And who could it be?*

N/Babe: (Stomps in wearing an outrageous orange sailor fuku, camera slung around her neck) Hey there! I'm on the yearbook staff, so let me take embarrassing pictures of you to put in the yearbook!

D/Chick: O.O What are you doing here, N's?

N/Babe: (Whispers in D/Chick's ear) I skipped my school to go to your school! I couldn't miss out the chance of wearing a sailor Fuku! (Straightens back up and clears her throat) Yes! Well! Of course! All right! OK!

Strange Teacher: (Puts cape and crown back on) Students, gather here and bow at my feet! (Fun grin) It'll be precious!

N/Babe: O.o …or kinda weird…(Mutters) Oh well, it's not like these are going in the yearbook anyways…(Snaps camera, everyone gleaming in happiness)

N/Babe: Nyah nyah nyahhh, see you kids later! (Dashes out the room)

Strange Teacher: What a bizarre student!

*Third Period: P.E. (Groan)*

D/Chick: (Smoothes out Japanese P.E. uniform) Wow…I figured these things were against dress code…

Munki: (Shrugs) Oh well. They're a change.

*P.E. class goes to the gym*

D/Chick: (Goes to the water fountain after her jog) Whew!

Creepy Coach: Hey there D(blurb)y! Nice job! (Gives D/Chick a good shake of the shoulder)

D/Chick: Eh…yeah, you betcha…

*D/Chick using her inferior hockey skills*

Creepy Coach: Good work, D(blurb)y! Keep it up! (Gives D/Chick a hearty pat on the back)

D/Chick: O.o

*D/Chick sauntering back to the locker room with Munki*

Creepy Coach: (Pops out of nowhere) Excellent accomplishments, D(blurb)y! (Cheesy wink)

D/Chick: … (Ignores Creepy Coach)

Munki: (Shakes head) He's so…weird.

D/Chick: -_- I know…

*Fourth Period: Advisory! ^_____^*

D/Chick: (Flipping through her fun binder) Oh! (Spots her journal in the back) Hey Munki, look! I finished the Bacon comic!

Munki: (Perks up) Bacon? Where's Bacon?

`Lex: (Quirks an eyebrow) "Bacon"?

D/Chick: ^_____^ Laura's stalkee. He's a seventh grade boy!

Nesreeny: Huh? Seventh grade?

D/Chick: I know, right? I mean, I guess he's cute, but this is even worse than Obo…

`Lex: (Grin) Instead of losers that walk like chickens, it's a YOUNGER BOY!

Munki: (Indignant) HEY! THAT'S NOT VERY NICE!

D/Chick: What, that you're stalking a seventh grader?

Nesreeny: And why Bacon?

Munki: BECAUSE IF I YELLED OUT "BACON!" THEN HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT! IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!?

Class: … (Staring at Munki)

Munki: (Sits back down with a cough)

D/Chick: ^_____^ And he has a hott little brother in elementary that I call Eggs! He looks like Bacon except tons cuter!

Class: (Facefaults)

S/Boy: (Waltzes in with his punk glory, Buttocks perched on his shoulder) Hey Munki.

Munki: (Snatches Buttocks) Buttocks!

`Lex: (Takes Buttocks) …Why are you calling a Best Buy bean-plushy "Buttocks"?

Munki: (Shrugs) It was fitting (Takes Buttocks, showing off Buttock's butt) See, it says "Buttocks" right here.

S/Boy: (Takes Buttocks and perches him on his shoulder again) Plus, he's a convenient size for travel. (Sheepish grin)

D/Chick: ^^;

*Period Five: Spanish 1A*

D/Chick: ^_____^ Another 100! (Beams at her test paper with sparklies in the air)

Ally: (Slumps) Argggg! (Holds up paper) Another 50! (Fist of Rage)

K-San: Another 100! (Beams and waves her test paper around)

E-Chan: (Crumples up test paper) ANOTHER 50!?!?!?!?

M-Sama: BASTA! We'll go over the test now, OK clase?

Class: Ok…

*After the test review*

E-Chan: (Posing in her uniform) These things are weird, but I like `em!

Ally: (-_-) They're annoying.

M-Sama: Ok, now we'll go over introducing speak! Hilary, Erica, and…Alex!

D/Chick, E-Chan, & Ally: Ok… (Walk to the middle of the classroom)

D/Chick: (Points to Ally) Erica, Quiero Presentarle mi amigo Alex. (Translation: Erica, I would like you to meet my friend Alex)

E-Chan: Mucho gusto, Alex (Translation: Nice to meet you, Alex)

Ally: Encantado (Translation: Delighted)

M-Sama: Good job!

Everyone: (Sits down)

*Later…*

Everyone: (Doing homework)

D/Chick: GUESS WHAT!

Ally: (Looks up with his cute cow lick) Eh?

D/Chick: I can cuss in Japanese!

Ally: (Confused) But this is Spanish…

D/Chick: KUSO KUSO KUSO! (Translation: SHIT SHIT SHIT!)

M-Sama: (Taps D/Chick's shouler) Ahem…

D/Chick: Eh…it slipped! ^^;

*Inbetween 5th and 6th period: Lunch!*

D/Chick: (To ordering guy at the snack bar) Umm, I would like a chicken sandw- (O.O)

Wolfwood: (Standing expectantly in an apron and a hairnet) Chicken sandwich it is!

D/Chick: O.o Why are you serving food at a junior high snack bar?

Folken: (Walks up)

D/Chick: O_O

Wolfwood: Hey Folken, just WHY are we serving food at a junior high snack bar?

Folken: (Shrugs) Beats me…

D/Chick: (Takes chicken sandwich, throws money on the counter and walks away in a daze) Hot men…serving food…hot men…serving food…(Snaps) IT JUST AINT RIGHT! (Arrives at lunch table)

Candi: Nani?

D/Chick: (Points at snack bar) FOLKEN AND WOLFWOOD ARE SERVING CAFETERIA FOOD AT A FRIGGIN' JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL! IT ISN'T RIGHT!!!

Candi: (Bursts out laughing) BAHAHAA! THAT'S FUNNY!

N/Babe: (Randomly pops in) No, it's scary.

D/Chick: (Jumps) Oh, hi N's!

N/Babe: (Waves) Hello everyone!

Candi: So you skipped school…to go to this school?

N/Babe: ^_____^ indeed I did! Now I can take funny pictures and blackmail people later!

Candi: That's nice?

D/Chick: (Eating her spicy chicken sandwich) Ahhh! (Grabs some water)

Munki: Hey! (Snatches water away) Get your own!

Tom: (Grins) Is your sexy chicken sandwich too hot for you, Hilary?

N/Babe: A sexy chicken sandwich? Why, how absurd!

County: (Also pops out from randomness) I know. (Rolls eyes)

Kuroneko PB, Yuki, & Robbitt: (Walk up) HELLO!

D/Chick: AHHH!!! WHERE ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE COMING FROM!?

Tom: ^_^ The land of Randomness!

Kuroneko PB: That is ruled by Mr. Randomness!

D/Chick: Or in my language, Mastar Romdamnoss!

Robbitt: …Right…

County: (Whispers into D/Chick's ear) So, just where is my basis of creation?

D/Chick: Oh, you mean (blurb)?

County: -_- Yes, who else?

D/Chick: ^^; He has another lunch. So sorry!

County: (Devastated) GAH! You said I would at least get to see him!

N/Babe: (Comes up behind County) Sucks to be you! (Smacks his butt) And don't you look as cute as a button in that sweet little uniform of yours!

County: YIPE!

*Period Six: Advanced Art (go me!)*

D/Chick: (Sketching her art warm up) Look, it's Garu holding Rio's hand! (Pointing excitedly)

Kuroneko PB: You know that Ms. Cool is going to check these, right?

D/Chick: ^___^ Yeah but she never says anything.

Yuki: (Sketching her art warm up) ^^; (The art warm up is scary-good)

Robbitt: Ohmigosh! Grrr-ness! Look at this awful bruise! (Pulls down her sailor fuku knee-highs and shows awful excruciatingly painful bruise on her shin)

D/Chick: (Faints just at the thought of the pain)

Kuroneko PB: AND YOU CAN ACTUALLY WALK AROUND WITH THAT THING!?!?

Robbitt: Of course! It's just a gigantic, painful bruise! I got it from diving.

Jamimi: (Sticks her head in) Huh?

Robbitt: (Shows off her battle scar) Look!

Jamimi: (Also faints at the thought of the pain)

Cool Art Teacher: (Comes up with her magic clipboard) Warm up check!

D/Chick: (Holds out sketchbook) ^____^

Cool Art Teacher: (Flips through the pages) Hmm…very nice here…oh, that's cute…now, what's-(Sees strange Garu+Rio warm up) …this…(O.o) …o…k…95, Hilary…(Gives sketchbook back with a squeamish face)

D/Chick: ^_____^ Hehehe…

*Period Seven: I.P.C. (Integrated Physics and Chemistry-basically, a second Algebra class (+-_-)*

D/Chick: (Reading from a worksheet) The velocity of a purple bouncy ball is 9.876456. The rhinoceros chasing the bouncy ball has a mass of 47435345.3484 kilograms squared. Its acceleration is 78.569. The purple bouncy ball is bouncing down a set of stairs with a speed of 584.67 per bounce. The stairs are 34.76 kilograms per step. The rhinoceros tripped down the stairs, making the stairs fall at a rate of 83.43589 centimeters per second. The momentum of the bouncy ball is now 19.403. The air pressure was and possibly is equilibrium to the object of your choice. What is the meaning of life? (O.O)

Tom: (Sing-song voice) La la la…(Looks up) Having any trouble Harry Larry?

D/Chick: (O.O) A bit.

Sam-Wham: (+-_-) This worksheet is giving me a headache! That's it! (Flips to the middle of her science journal)

D/Chick: Eh? (Trying to peek at what Sam-Wham is scribbling)

Sam-Wham: (Hides page protectively) Grrrr…

D/Chick: O,O

Tom: (^^) Finished!

D/Chick: (-.-)

Sam-Wham: (Suddenly happy) Look!

D/Chick: (Reads page) "R.I.P. Here lies our beloved Sam. Died of a headache. 1988-2002" O.O That's very interesting.

Sam-Wham: And since I'm dead, I don't have to finish my worksheet! (Beams)

D/Chick: (Shakes head)

*Period Eight: Language ^____^*

D/Chick: (Slides into her seat next to Munki) Hey!

Munki: (Big grin) Heeeeyyy!!!

D/Chick: I take it you're Laura right now?

Munki: Yes. Riley is sleeping in his own little depressed corner right now. And you?

D/Chick: Me? (Places a hand on her chest) I'm Hilary right now! MK is seething in her own little enraged corner at the moment ^^;

Mrs. Fun: (In her big voice) TODAY we will be learning about RAGE!

D/Chick: Oh crap!

Munki: Huh?

MK: (Rises to the surface with a crazy face) ARGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

Riley: (Twists face up) HATEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Mrs. Fun: RAGE is a very powerful emotion!

MK: (Tapping fingertips together) IAGREE!

Riley: (Convulsing with twitchy eyes) YESSSSSSSS INDEED!

Mrs. Fun: Does anyone have any other words that also mean RAGE? (Grins) Why yes, Hilary?

MK: (Twitch. Twitch.) BOILINGINSTINCTS! IREOFTHEWRATH! FROLICKINGWITHTHEINSANE!!!!!!!!

Riley: (Raises hand. Starts talking anyways) FIRE! DEATH! PAIN! EVIL! (Stands up and gives everyone a crazy stare) DECEPTION…

Mrs. Fun: Eh, well, those might RESULT from RAGE, but are not really RAGE. Thanks for contributing, though.

D/Chick: (Goes back to normal) ^^; Your welcome!

Munki: (Does the same) Indeed!

Gareas: (Barges in the room with his arrogant swagger) WHERE IS MY RIO, DAMMIT!?

D/Chick: (@_@) Gareas!

Gareas: (Swivels head at the voice, incredulous) D/Chick?

Class: O_O (In shock at the random guy suddenly barging in)

Mrs. Fun: (Takes Gareas's arm with a grin) My, you must be the new exchange student!

Gareas: WHAT!? (Tries to pull arm away and fails) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?

Mrs. Fun: Here, you can take this seat…(Points to Pig Boy's seat)

Pig Boy: I'm so cool, I'm such a pig, I'm mean to everyone except myself, because I think I'm so cool, ooooh yeahhhhh…(Stretches and puts his hands behind his head) I am The Cool. (Ugly smile)

Mrs. Fun: Ahem…(Stares at Pig Boy)

Pig Boy: Bitch, I aint movin' fo' you. (Snorts)

Gareas: (Takes out his Zap-O gun and fries Pig Boy) HWAAAHHHHH!!

Pig Boy: AIIIIIIIIIIEWWWWWWW!!!! (Reduced to a cloud of smoke)

Class: AWRIGHTTTT!

Gareas: (Takes Pig Boy's seat with his dazzling smirk) ^____^

Mrs. Fun: Ok Gareas! (Claps hands)

Gareas: (Raises an eyebrow) How do you know my name?

Mrs. Fun: I'm just smart like that (Disregards Gareas) Ok class! Now, about Ra-!

Gareas: (Stands up indignantly) Are YOU ignoring ME!?!? (Waves a fist around) I AM SAVING YOUR ASS FROM VICTIM, FOOLISH ONNA!

D/Chick: (Rushes over to Gareas) Wait! Gareas! (Waves hands around) Don't do it!

Gareas: (Whips out Zap-O gun) GRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Mrs. Fun: VIOLENCE IS A RESULT OF RAGE! THANK YOU, GAREAS!

D/Chick: I must use my last resort! (Pulls out picture of Ernest and shoves it in Gareas's face) LOOK!

Gareas: O_O (Drops Zap-O gun) Why…why…(Starts sinking to the ground) It…it…IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!!! (Breaks down sobbing) IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!!!

Munki: Aww…poor guy…

Gareas: WOE, OH, WOE ME, ERNEST, WOE ME, WOE ME NOW!

D/Chick: (Cringes) "Woe me?" That sounds kinky! (Stupid Female Pervert grin)

Class: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

El Fin ^^; -

D/Chick: (Sitting in her respectable bus seat) Ho boy, was THAT interesting.

Candi: (Seated next to D/Chick) Yeah, no kidding (Starts laughing at the story D/Chick told her) Ha ha ha! But it's so funny!

D/Chick: And you know what? This has to be the most pointless One Shot to date!

Candi: I know! I was about to say that!

D/Chick: It was just me and my stupid friends running around in Sailor Fukus! There were hardly any bishonen in it either! (Slaps cheeks) I'm almost ashamed of writing such rubbish!

Candi: Not to mention it's full of inside jokes. But we adapted them to be as funny as possible for everyone.

County: (Pops in) Hey ladies, whazzup?

D/Chick: Your hair! (Ruffles it) You should gel it down, it gets everywhere!

County: (Pouts cute-like) But I thought you liked it that way!

D/Chick: (Taps his nose with a finger) I know, I'm just teasing ya!

County & D/Chick: (Join in mirthful laughter)

Candi: (Cringes) It's…so…CHEESY!

Patrick: (From out of nowhere) I thought you liked cheese! (Points to D/Chick) And you like that guy from Pilot Candidate!

D/Chick: (Feigning Oblivion) What, what are you talking about? I have no idea what you mean!

Candi: (Points accusingly at Patrick) It's mini-County! He looks like him but smaller! IT'S SO CREEPY!

Patrick: Huh? Who's County? (Leans over the back of the seat)

D/Chick: -_- He's right next to you.

County: (Glances sideways) Charmed.

Patrick: O.O

D/Chick: And this little brat…(Tugs on Patrick's ear) Abducted my fun binder!

Candi: For a whole bus ride!

County: (Rolls eyes)

D/Chick: Anyways, this One Shot is based on my…entertaining…Eighth grade life. Yes, that is correct, I am in eighth grade.

Everyone: (In awe) Ohhh, ahhhh!!

County: …Which is amazing because of how stupid she is! (Starts cackling) I crack myself up!

D/Chick: +-_- ANYWAYS, the people in here are based off of real people. My closer friends are featured with short profiles in One Shot #7 "Interviews Don't Have Titles!" So if you're confused…but everyone else is just kind of there. Oh, and Tom is a girl. She prefers Tom over Kelly…(Shrugs) And Ally is a guy. `Lex is a girl, but everyone calls her Alex…the teachers are based off my real teachers…and yes, my Algebra teacher really is that insanely boring. It's a wonder how I even LEARN in there, much less get A's. And I really do get I.P.&C., it's just boring as hell and filled with non-sense Physics worksheets…oh, and the Spanish. I know it looks dumb `cause it seems like I'm showing off, but I'm just proving my newly acquired skills. I'm in the beginner class of beginner classes, so don't take me seriously. (Growls) And my stupid computer won't do accents or make fun exclamation points! (Deep breath) I added Wolfwood, Folken, and Gareas in there so that I could claim that there were at least some bishonen in there…heh. And everyone wore Sailor Fukus! Weeeeeeee!! NOW LET'S SEE SOME OF MY MAD SPANISH SKILLS! Ahem…(^____^) DE DONDE ES TU POLLO!!! MUAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

County: (Raises eyebrow) And just what does that MEAN?

D/Chick: (Grins stupidly) WHERE IS YOUR CHICKEN FROM!?!?!? BAHAHAAA!

Bus: (Facefault)

County: (Smacks D/Chick over the head) Shut up already! You're boring everyone!

D/Chick: Right! Ok! Bye Candi, bye Patrick! (Grabs County's wrist and clutches Zell Plushy *it came from the Land of Romdamnoss!*) Join us next time for another interesting One-Shot! Later, folks! (Poofs away, County disappearing with her)

D/Chick: (A fleeting giggle is heard) El burrito de sangreeeeeeeehhhh!!!

Candi: (Confused) The Burrito of Blood!?!?

County: (Heard muttering) Damn school! Damn D/Chick and her stupid tricks!

Candi: ^_____^ those two are going to be the death of each other, I swear…(*ok that was random ^^;*)

EL Fin ^^; -