Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ Reciprocity, Part I ❯ Chapter 3

***Since it took so long for me to get the 2nd chapter out, I thought I'd get this one up asap! Hope you like! ^_-

 

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsuabasa!

 

 

“I don't want to play this game anymore,” Fai whispered miserably.

 

“Fai…” Kuro breathed, shocked into stillness. “What have I done?”

 

For a moment nothing broke the silence of the room except for the wizard's quiet sobs. Then Kurogane seems to came back to himself.

 

“A game?” Kuro repeated. Did Fai think he was simply toying with him? Then again, wasn't that what he was doing- taking pleasure in dominating his old enemy, getting off on the wizard's submission…?

 

No, it wasn't just that, although he had to admit it was a part of it.

 

“I think… I should go,” said Fai. He slipped his silky pants back onto his hips, all the while avoiding eye contact with the dark haired man. The blonde didn't know what he had expected to happen between them that evening when he finally decided to visit the swordsman, but he hadn't thought the other man would take him quite so roughly. He thought… he thought that maybe there was a connection between them. Certainly, that first night had been special to him, for reasons he couldn't quite put his finger on. Kurogane had been rough that time as well, but something about the way the red-eyed man had taken him this evening had been more callous, more brutal. His light blue eyes betrayed the sense of loneliness he now felt as he realized Kuro might be just as cruel a man as Ashura. How could he have honestly thought that this man, the former commander of his sworn enemy's army, could have any feelings towards him other than contempt and possibly lust? Why had that first night haunted him so and made him delve into hopes he believed long abandoned? He felt so foolish as he slowly rose from the bed to leave.

 

Kuro was trying desperately to form his thoughts. He didn't want Fai to leave, certainly not thinking that he had just used him, but he didn't know how to articulate himself either. “Fai, wait,” he said finally, standing up to follow him.

 

The wizard stopped and released a long breath, attempting to collect himself. “You don't have to explain, Kurogane, I understand,” he said sadly. The dark haired warrior almost flinched at the use of his full name, keenly aware of the unspoken distance it put between them.

 

“No, I don't think you do,” Kuro told him, stepping closer.

 

Fai turned to face him, though his eyes stared at the floor. His voice was stern and his body rigid with hurt and tension as he spoke. “Yes, I do; you like fucking me because it gives you power over me,” he explained. Then he lifted his icy blue orbs to look directly at the other man's fiery gaze and said, “…because you hate me.”

 

“No, Fai-“

 

The blonde waved his hand in the air dismissively. “It's alright,” he said nonchalantly, falling back into the facile role he had created for himself, the easy smile masking his true emotions. “How could you help it? I've taken everything from you: your freedom, your comrades, your country… who could blame you?” He spoke lightly, but Kuro could feel the pain lacing through his words.

 

Suddenly, Fai felt himself pulled into the man's embrace. Large, muscular arms wrapped around him tightly as his eyes widened in surprise.

 

“I-“ the swordsman groped for the right words. “I don't hate you,” he said softly against the wizard's pale hair. “I didn't mean to hurt you, but I was… jealous,” Kuro confessed, knowing it would sound absurd. After all, Fai was right he /should/ hate him, but he couldn't do it.

 

“Why?” the blonde asked, unable to accept the man's admission.

 

“I don't know, I know it doesn't make any sense, but I began to think of all the lovers you must have had in your past and… I just became so angry. I took it out on you and I'm sorry for that,” he explained.

 

Kurogane was apologizing to him? After all that Fai had done to him?

 

“Your right, I don't understand you, Kuro-san,” he replied.

 

The swordsman smiled now that the blonde had returned to using one of his many nicknames. He held the wizard tighter against him and they stood there together for several moments, each wondering at the bond that had so swiftly and inexplicably formed between them.

 

Then Kurogane pulled back and gazed down into those icy blue depths, a longing suddenly springing up inside him to protect this man in his arms. “Fai,” he whispered, stroking his face with the back of one hand, “You're all I have left.” As soon as the words slipped from his tongue, he knew they were true. The irony of the situation did not escape him. The only reason the blonde wizard was all Kuro had left to cling to was because Fai himself had destroyed everything else he held dear. But this fact did could not alter Kuro's feelings. It was in this moment that the swordsman let go of his past and everything tied to it. All the troublesome ideas about what his former soldiers would think if they knew what he was doing now, all the hurt and rage over their deaths and his horrible defeat- he threw everything aside and braced himself for the unknown future that lay ahead. And he gave himself up to Fai.

 

Leaning down, he covered the blonde's lips with his own. The kiss was soft and sweet and Fai was amazed that the man who had been so brutal with him just a little while before could now display such gentleness toward him. For a moment, the wizard let himself be swept away by the warmth and tenderness of the warrior's mouth upon his, the way it seductively coerced him into parting his lips, rather than demanding entrance. When the dark haired man's tongue slowly drifted into his mouth, twining with velvety softness around his own tongue, Fai let a breathy moan escape from his throat.

 

Kurogane took the blonde's heated sigh as a sign that matters were now settled between them, so he was a bit taken aback when Fai pulled away from him. In truth, the wizard was becoming overwhelmed and not a little confused. Although Kuro seemed to be offering him the companionship he had always desired, he still wondered about the swordsman's motives behind his actions and words. Was the dark haired man merely lonely? Or desperate? Was he simply yearning for a lover to have something and someone to protect? After all, the man had been a warrior all his life, maybe he needed a way to fulfill that role to still think of himself as useful. Fai might simply be a substitute for the subjects he left behind.

 

All these thoughts tumbled into Fai's mind and pounded at his brain. He squirmed out of the taller man's grasp, feeling suddenly suffocated by indecision. The night had brought too many unexpected turns. Kuro's forceful copulation coupled with his current openness and gentle manners left the blonde's emotions frayed and worn. And in the back of his mind, always, was Ashura- the man who had taught him to never take anything at face value, to always question people's motives, and to never truly trust anyone. But the wizard had known from the first moment that Kurogane was different, that he was, if nothing else, honest and forthright. But he couldn't rid himself of the King's haunting voice, the voice that had spoken in his ear for so many long years until it finally broke him.

 

“I need to go,” Fai said abruptly.

 

It was Kuro's turn now to be confused. “Why?” he asked, holding onto one of the blonde's slim arms, unwilling to let him go.

 

“I just… have to…” Fai told him, twisting in the man's grip, his face starting to look panicked.

 

“Please, Fai, don't leave… talk to me, tell me what you're thinking,” he insisted.

 

`I-I can't!” the blonde said, the growing alarm evident in his voice. “Let me go!” he cried, when Kuro failed to remove his hand.

 

Reluctantly, the dark haired man finally acquiesced. He couldn't imagine what had sent the blonde into such a state of panic, but he grudgingly realized that it would do no good to try to force him to stay.

 

“Please!” Kurogane pleaded one last time as the wizard's slender body stood framed in the doorway.

 

“I'm sorry…” Fai whispered.

 

And then he was gone.

 

 

***Oh the angst! Reviews welcome!

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