Twilight Fan Fiction / Twilight Fan Fiction / Twilight Fan Fiction ❯ Untitled: A Leah Clearwater Story ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4

 

The forest was quiet Renesmee had changed into gym clothes and Nahuel had completely abandoned his shirt, which made it extremely hard to have a logical thought. His chest was beautiful, his complexion was slightly lighter than honey, and an artist could have created such a vision.

 

Nahuel was walking beside me once again.

 

“Renesmee and your Alpha are deeply in love” I turn to look at his face, I saw no signs hurt or heartbreak, a little disappointment but that was all. I wonder if he was trying to put on a brave front.

 

“Yeah, since the day she was born they have been connected,” I said softly hoping the concern in my voice wasn't as strong as it seemed to me, “Are you okay?”

 

“Yes, after Renesmee came and talked to me last night and told me of Jacob and her relationship, I was devastated and heartbroken until Edward conversed with me” he paused and listen to something running through the forest, then focused his attention back on me, “Now I feel more enlightened knowing of Jacob and Renesmee's history, he also told me about imprinting and how it works, the whole process is very fascinating”

 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Leave it to Edward to butt in where he didn't belong. My mind started racing trying to but together what Nahuel was telling me. Was it really that easy for him to get over the feelings he had for Nessie, he came all the way from Brazil based on the possibility of loving her and now he was complacent. When Sam and I broke up knowing that he was going to be happy with somebody else did not make me in the least bit complacent, maybe Nahuel was just a better person than me. He was definitely more selfless than I could ever be, trying to stay from him has been an impossible task; I mean seriously look at where I am right now, hunting with half-breeds. I laugh to myself.

 

There was a long silence, I watched Nahuel he cowered into something like a fighting stance whenever he came across a sound or a certain smell, elks were passing him by left and right, but I think he was looking for something particular. Giving up for a moment, he stood upright and turned to me suddenly.

 

“I wonder. . .” he starts, he heard the movement of something he liked “excuse me for a moment.” He disappears from my sight after a bear; he was much faster than Nessie. When Nessie and I race I can beat her even when I am in human form. Nahuel on the other hand seems to be as fast as the full vampires. I closed my eyes when I heard the roar of pain come from the bear; I didn't want to see the act in progress. Within a matter of seconds he was standing in front of me.

 

“My hunting disturbs you almost as much as watching you ingest those eggs disturbed me.” He laughed his beautiful laugh. I stared at him momentarily dazed; I shook my head to gain focus.

 

“You are much faster than, Ren.”

 

“Really.” He seems surprised.

 

“Yeah.” I shrug, “ I am both stronger and faster than her, even in my human form, but you seem to be faster than me.”

 

“How fast are you?” He smirks and I smile.

 

“I'm pretty fast”

 

“How strong are you?” I countered.

 

“Fairly strong,” He smirked. I laughed a little and peeked over at Jacob in wolf form hunting with Nessie, weird, like a girl and her giant dog. While my attention was on the couple Nahuel scooped me up, taking the wind from out of me.

 

“I told you I was strong, you weigh nothing little wolf.” He laughed out loud.

 

“Little Wolf?!” I fake pout, “I may not be as big as Jacob or Seth but I am by no means little!” I giggle I loved being in his arms, my whole body was tingling, he stares at me for a couple minutes still holding me in his arms.

 

“Can I see?”

 

“See what?” He placed me back on the ground.

 

“Can I see you phase?” He asked quietly

 

“Why?” I whined, I really didn't feel like being a wolf right now, I was enjoying talking to him and I can't talk when I'm a wolf.

 

“Curiosity” he smiled. I frowned my face up, and juggled the thought around in my mind for couple of minutes. He stared at me as a paced and debated I finally went behind a group of bushes and disrobe. It was slightly harder to get the heat to flow through my body when technically I didn't want it to; it took a couple of minutes.

 

“You alright” he asked, “ Can I come around now?”

 

“No!!” I say horrified, “I am still very human right now!” I was also very nude at the moment; I had a feeling that would have been very awkward for both of us. I laugh at the thought.

 

“You laugh at the most strangest times.”

 

“Really Nahuel you have to find a new line!” I laughed, “Now be quiet so I can focus.”

 

“Is it normally this hard for you to do?”

 

“No, it is only difficult when I don't feel the need to.”

 

“Well if you cannot do it, then it is okay, maybe some other time.” He approached the bushes.

 

“Nahuel stay back!”

 

All of a sudden I phased. It was actually funny I had never phased out of fear of being seen naked before, lucky for me it worked because he came behind the bushes anyway. Nahuel stared at me and circled me a few times. I rolled my eyes, this was slightly awkward, and I had never been studied before.

 

“Amazing” was all he said. After a few more moments he sat down and I did the same then I eventually laid down placing my head on my paws. It was weird we could sit this way not talking and I still felt fulfilled like we were having the most in depth conversation. I looked up at the sky and realized that the sun was going down I went to go phase back.

 

“Wait” he called. He approached me and placed his hands behind my ears and smiled. If he had been anyone else I would have snapped his or her head off, but when Nahuel did this it felt good. I closed my eyes. I slowly backed away from his touch (it stung a little) and phased back.

 

“Ta dah!” I said when I reappeared.

 

“Impressive.” He said

 

“Not really.” I laughed.

 

Just then we hear Nessie laugh as she rides on Jakes back. I shake my head in shock and horror. Jake must have lost his marbles. Why else would he let her ride on his back like he is some kind of miniature pony?

 

“That reminds me, I have another question.” Nahuel announced breaking my stare.

 

“What was that?” I asked defensively.

 

“Do you have an imprint, someone you care about more than your own life?”

 

My neck snapped as I looked at him, I think I gave myself whiplash. He stood there staring at me blankly then a smirk slowly appeared on his face.

 

“What did Edward tell you?”

 

“Nothing.” He tilts his head to the side, “The question is - is there something to tell?”

 

I pause trying to make myself believe that maybe- just maybe he doesn't know anything.

 

“No!” I spit the word out like poison then turn my back to him so he wouldn't see my expression.

 

“No?” He said lifting me again so I could not hide my face, “Don't lie, it's not becoming.” Damn it! I love when he holds me. I can't keep a straight face this way, I have smiled so much today I swear my whole face aches.

 

“Well if you are soooo smart you tell me if I have imprinted.” I say plopping my finger on his nose.

 

“Yes I believe you have.” He says bluntly placing me back on the ground, much to my disapproval.

 

“Oh really since you know me sooo well, then please tell me who my imprint may be, I must find him at once.” I am daring him to say it out loud. If he wants this out in the open he was going to have to say it, my lips were sealed. He laughs loudly; both Nessie and Jacob look in our direction.

 

“It's me of course.” My jaw drops to the floor. This guy was way better than me, much more honest and straight to the point. Now I had to ask the scary questions, I had to know if he would stay with me forever. I didn't feel I had the right to ask such a question, I actually felt bad that my genetic need for him made him actually have to consider staying with me, and I was a complete stranger until literally a day ago. Before I muster up the strength to speak words he begins.

 

“I can't say I came to this conclusion alone.” He stated while he walked over to the tree to have a seat underneath it, he motion for me to do the same and I did.

 

“Various conversations with some of the Cullens led me to this conclusion. For example, Jasper was talking to Alice and me about how broken hearted you seemed and that you hadn't been feeling the pain about Sam for a while, for it to creep back now seemed odd. Edward was also telling Bella something that made her eyes bug out of their sockets and when I asked about it all Bella said is that love sometimes strikes when you least expect it. Lastly, my conversation last night with Edward was the clincher; he told me that I was thinking things I wasn't willing to admit to myself. The fact that when I talked to Nessie there was a physical attraction but nothing more; the physical attraction itself wasn't even as strong at tried to pretend. When I talked to her Edward would notice that my mind would wander to something else more appropriately someone else” he said looking up from his hands to my face. “ I found you more attractive and more alluring even before I could really process it.”

 

Heat began to rush to my face. I was speechless all I could say was, “Oh”. I ran my hands through my hair a couple of times, trying to adjust to this news. What he was saying couldn't be right; he couldn't be saying what I think he is saying.

 

“So you don't mind?” I ask him using barely a whisper, “Nothing has to come of this unless you want it to. I am strong enough to let you go, my only wish is for you to be happy, you need to chose what is best for you.”

 

“I could be happy with you.” He said simply as he could inhale and exhale.

 

“Are sure about Ren?” I stated the question getting up and pacing in front of him. He had to be sure I couldn't take him changing his mind again. Ren is my closest friend if he started a relationship with her now, it would be too much like the pain suffered I suffered with Sam. “You came here from your home to love her, and now you are okay to just forget about her.”

 

“I don't plan to forget her, she is and will always be a dear friend.” He stood and leaned against the tree, “I came here to find love, some to spark my interests. Renesmee did that at first, being that she was the only one of my kind, I thought we would be compatible, however our conversations seemed forced.” He pause within a second he had bridge the gap between us, “But with you everything seems to flow, plus you amuse me.” Amusement, he thought I was comical that was that was his basis on his attraction for me, that was something that could fade quite easily.

 

“Oh gee thanks!” I danced around like a little court jester, “I am you comic relief.” He laughed at my slight moment of insanity and placed his hand on my shoulders.

 

“No,” his eyes becoming warm and serious, “there is nothing comical about you.” With that his hands travel to my waist and he pulls me until are bodies are touching. We looked into each other's eyes and lead forward . . ..

 

“Wait!” just then the human form of Jacob presented itself followed by Ren, “That can `t happen Leah, remember his venom!!” I hop back, frustrated and devastated. How could fate be this cruel? I knew the moment was to good to be true. Happiness had been flaunting itself in front of me the past couple of days only to slap me in my face, damned venom.

 

Nahuel's face looked frantic, “What's wrong, I won't bite Leah! Believe it or not I do have some self control.” He seemed as frustrated as I was, I laughed a little.

 

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Always at the weirdest times.” He murmurs and stares at me.

 

“Your venom would kill me, there is no way around it. I can't turn into a vampire I would just die, but what a way to go though!” I laughed trying to make light of the situation, however there was nothing funny about it, if I allowed myself to really process it I would probably weep like a baby. Nahuel's face turned violently angry at the information. The hurt of his revelation was unbearable. “If I express my emotions for you full, you will die, there would be nothing I could do?” I nodded I couldn't believe I was the cause of his pain and his heartbreak.

 

“I never felt more like a monster than I do at this very second.” He ran off deep into the forest and disappeared.

Chapter 5

 

We tried to catch up to Nahuel but it was no use. He was much faster than all of use. So we went back home. When Esme asked about dinner I refused her offer. I dragged myself upstairs to my room to be alone. Once there I paced back and forth waiting to become tired. Nessie and Jacob came to my door to trying to console me telling me he would come back. The thought hadn't dawned on me that he may not come back. Why would he come back? There was nothing I could really offer him. He felt I couldn't love him fully. I could not do the things a woman does for a man, like have his child or even kiss him. I lay face first on my bed and without my permission the tears start to fall. The pain ripples through my stomach and chest and I moan in agony. How pathetic was I?

 

I came to the conclusion that I hate what I am. I hate myself, for making Nahuel miserable. Right in the middle of my self-loathing someone breaks the doorknob of my door and enters my room with out permission. Three bodies enter my room Alice, Bella, and Nessie.

 

“How are you doing?” Nessie coos at me like I am baby or something.

 

“How do you think?”

 

“He is coming back.” Alice says, “He is less than five minutes away, he just needed time to think . . . he called.” That information did make me feel a little better, but the end result would still be the same. We could never be close and that blows. Tears start to fall again.

 

“I can relate to how you feel.” Bella offer being as sympathetic as ever, “when I was human Edward had to be more than careful with me. You and Nahuel do have some advantages though, you are not easily broken.” She laughs, “Edward was always afraid that he was going to accidentally crush my skull, but see I am still alive and you will be too.”

 

I had to admit Bella's word had given me some hope, however I wanted more than anything was to kiss Nahuel, kissing is the first step to so many things.

 

“How can we have a relationship when he is poison to me?” I say aloud although I was talking more to myself than to them.

 

“Don't worry we will figure it out.” Nessie says crawling on the bed beside and resting her head on my shoulder I wept silently. I didn't want her there. I wanted Nahuel. They stayed with me until the early hours of the morning then they returned to their respective rooms, only a few hours were left until daylight and are first day of school started tomorrow.

 

 

Morning came, when woke up I was my head was pounding. I hadn't had a headache in so long it was torture. It took all of six seconds for the events of yesterday to replay in my head and for the unrelenting pain in my chest remerged making my willingness to get up less than none. I rolled over onto my face willing someone would just put me out of my misery.

 

Five minutes later the entire female population of the Cullen family was in my room dragging me into Alice's room. Everyone was in their pajamas waiting for Alice to come out of her insanely huge closet. When Alice reappears with a handful of garment bags she smiles and I yawn.

 

“Now”, she said handing each of us a garment bag, “the fun beginnings”. The only one who seem less excited than me about this event was Bella, her nose wrinkled, I laughed despite my heart ache, me and that girl may have more in common than I thought. I unzipped my garment bag to see what Alice had in store for me designer jeans, gray body shaper, a velour jacket. I was glad she didn't go all glitz and glamour on me because I probably would have just back out of going to school this year, better yet I just would go at all considering the fact that didn't really have to.

 

“Now lets go see how the guys turned out.” Alice said once we were all dressed. The guys, those words were like a punch to the gut. I turned and balanced myself using the dresser to hold me up, this was the first time I had looked in the mirror this morning, I looked horrible my eyes were blood shot.

 

“I am not going!” I snapped. I ran for the door and Alice ran for the door and shut it.

“Yes you are!!” She frowned at and growled at her in return.

 

“Look at me Alice!” I say pointing to my face, “Everyone down stair is going to know.” She looks at me her frown disappears and now her face is full of pity a couple of tears escape once again. Rosalie then disappears and then reappears with a pair of dark sunglasses.

 

“They won't have to know until you get into school.” She said her face as stern as ever, “going to school will give you a distraction, you don't want to cry all the time it is not healthy.” We all walk down the stairs each female connects with their eagerly waiting spouse. I didn't see Nahuel I fought the horrible feeling inside, then all of a sudden peace hit me. I would have to thank Jasper later, now I could interact with them without wanting to pull my hair out. I went and sat beside Seth.

 

“Hey sis?” he said with naturally happy demeanor.

 

“What?” I smiled back as best I could.

 

“Dr. Cullen registered both of us as freshmen.”

 

“So” I said, I didn't catch the point of the story.

 

“That means we're the same age . . .we are twins” he laughs

 

“I am still gonna tell you want to do you know.” I say smugly

 

“Well see about that.” He elbows me slightly in the ribs, “Hey sis I heard about”

 

I stop him mid sentence, “Is it okay if we don't talk about that?”

 

“What ever you say.” Concern colored his eyes he wrapped his arm around me and I laid my head against his shoulder. Everyone is talking amongst himself or herself and Jasper had had me so calm that I actually dosed off while sitting with Seth.

 

“Sis?”

 

I awoke and everyone was staring at me.

 

“What?” I said readjusting the silly sunglasses I had on my face.

 

“We are leaving now do you need to grab anything from upstairs?”

 

“No I am fine let's do this!” I said trying to sound excited. All of sudden I see him, he looks at me blankly no smile nothing. They had cut his hair to make him “fit in” it now fell just at his chin instead of down his back, it was wavy and beautiful just like the rest of him.

 

“Good morning” I said trying to smile.

 

“Good morning Leah” he said no emotion touched his face. He exited the house and walked with Edward and Bella to their car. I drove my own vehicle with the normal passengers inside.

 

 

One class has become my outlet for my pain. Art I love art class; it is the one class I have by myself, no Cullens, no Hales, no Pack, just me. I never like painting before this. The teacher Ms. Jordan lets us listen to music and express ourselves freely; she calls it being one with the canvas. I don't know how she is going to grade us personally I don't care. All of my core classes except English are with Ren, I have science with both her and Seth, I have Jacob in my gym class, and Nahuel is in my English class. Art happened to be my last class, right after English, all of my paintings are “angry” or so Ms. Jordan says.

 

“I would love to see some happier strokes make their way into you work,” she says for the hundredth time, “But I suppose you must do what is best for you.” She smiles and walks away I put my headphones back on. Sometimes I would watch out of the window and see Nahuel walk by I would do this once every week, I hoped he knew he was very obvious. The girl Shelly who had attached herself to me even realized his pattern and she wasn't the brightest light bulb out of the bunch. I looked down and pretended not to see him. I saw him from the corner of my eye peek at me and then walk away.

 

“Awww he did it again” Shelly squealed, “You two should totally be going out already!”

 

I smiled slightly and went back to work, red, I needed more red paint that could represent the anger I feel with Nahuel. We were both suffering but he was the one would walk out of a room when I enter it. He was the one who wouldn't even look at me when I asked him a question. He was the one who would jerk away if I almost touched him. He was the one who made me cry myself to sleep almost every night. I reached for the paint and accidentally spilled it one myself.

 

“Crap, I actually liked this shirt!” I frowned.

 

“Well rush to the restroom and see if you can salvage it” Ms. Jordan said handing me the hall pass. Just as I started walking down the hall Nahuel reappeared from the bathroom.

 

“Do you actually go to the restroom?” I asked wondering why he would use it; he didn't eat while he was in school, why would he have to go?

 

“No,” he said looking at my shirt, “What happened, did you miss the canvas?” he laughed at his own stupid joke.

 

“I spilled” I shrugged, “it happens”. He nodded, I looked down at the shirt accessing the damage, I look up to see him studying my face and our eyes lock. I step toward him wanting bridge the gap he backed away.

 

“Don't!” I take three large steps forward being careful not to brush against him (wet paint), “Why do you leave your last period so much?”

 

My eyes were pleading with him to be honest. He smiled briefly and took a step towards me, “If you were a hundred and fifty would you honestly enjoy taking a history class?” He whispered. I smirked he was right and his statement was logical, but it wasn't the answer I was looking for.

 

“Aren't you tired of this yet? It has been months” I was whining I didn't care I was tired of playing this game.

 

“This is the only way I know to ensure that you will be safe.” He side steps and walks toward his class, “I will see you at home.” His tone was slightly warmer that usually, that was the first glimpse of My Nahuel that had seen in a long time, but it only made me miss him more.