Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Awakening ❯ TWO: HITOMI--The one thing I'm missing... ( Chapter 2 )

© Youjibaracuda 2000-2002

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Read on.

*~*~*~AWAKENING~*~*~*

"Fate keeps on happening."

--Anita Loos

TWO: HITOMI-The one thing I'm missing…

It had all been for the best, hadn't it?

I was alright…wasn't I?

Or was I just lying to Van so he wouldn't worry about me?

I did a pretty good job, obviously, since it's been five years since that day.

I had become used to lying…to my parents, to my friends…why wouldn't I have lied to Van?

I didn't want him to worry about me…

I remember that day when I last was near him…

Why did I leave?

Why did he feel he had to let me go?

Back then I was so sure of all the reasons why I couldn't stay; my family, school, my life on Earth…all reasons that don't mean anything now.

Damn it!

I should have stayed! I should have at least told him that I loved him.

Then my life would have been different…

Just hen a hand waving in front of my face broke me out of my inner debate.

"Yo, Earth to Hitomi!"

I turned to see my best friend pull me completely back into reality.

She'd been having to do that a lot lately.

I blinked and looked at her.

"Hmm?"

"We're here," she said.

"Can I help you out, Miss?"

I looked over to my right to see a valet holding the car door open and offering me his hand.

I felt the color rise to my face as I got out of the car. I walked around the front of the car and joined my friend's side.

She smiled at me kindly.

"Hey, try to have some fun, okay Tomi?"

I sighed. "Why am I here, again?"

"To have fun! I can't stand to see you all depressed like this. You've been skipping off to la-la land too often. Hopefully, this will help you to get your mind off of Van for a little while," she said, winking as the ends of her hair turned blue.

I continued to blush. She knew me all too well. But it had been six years since I had returned from Gaea. The anniversary of those six years had been about six months ago, and since then I had been a little more depressed than usual.

Daleila slipped her arm through mine and led me towards the entrance of the downtown club, where music was blaring and people were coming in and out, laughing gaily.

"Come on," she said, leading me inside, "Try to relax a little and have some fun!"

~*~*~

I sat at the table sipping on a margarita, watching my best friend on the dance floor. She was laughing, having fun, surrounded by gorgeous guys, as usual. She was dancing with one guy in particular that caught my attention. As far as I could see, he had dirty blonde hair that fell past his ears, a very lean physique, and a handsome face. What caught my attention was the stylish way he was dressed, and the fact that he was wearing sunglasses…indoors….at night.

But, hey, if that's what he liked, it was fine by me. Daleila seemed to be enjoying his company anyway.

Then she made her way through the crowd of people and over to my table, taking a sip of the Shirley Temple she had left there (she never drank alcohol when going to clubs).

"Isn't this great?!" she yelled to me over the music.

"Yeah!" I yelled back at her, forcing a smile.

The truth was that a noisy club was the last place I wanted to be. I couldn't hear myself think in all the noise.

The song that was playing finally ended, with the dj announcing that he was taking a break.

Daleila turned to me again, "Tomi, this is Kudou Yoji, he's visiting here from Japan with his friends." She was referring to the blonde wearing the shades that was standing next to her.

He owed to me, and lowering his shades, he locked his green eyes with mine, "It's very nice to meet you," he said in perfect Japanese, "I was told you come from Japan as well."

I rose up and bowed to him also, as was expected of any properly educated Japanese woman. "That's right," I respond. "It's very nice to meet you, Kudou-san. My name is Kanzaki Hitomi."

I looked at Daleila, "So having fun?"

"Absolutely! And you?"

"I'm doing good."

"Segura?"

"Yeah," I lied.

She looked at me with a doubtful glance for a second. "Okay, if you say so."

"Listen," she continued, the ends of her short hair becoming green in excitement, "Do you want to go to get a bite to eat over at Shoreline Village? Yoji is meeting his friends there and has invited us to come along."

Oh no.

"I don't know, 'Leila. I'm not really in the mood for this right now. No offence," I direct my last comment to Yoji. "Thanks anyway."

She was about to protes, but I cut her off, "No really. I would just drag down the rest of the night. You go, and I'll take a cab home, okay?"

Daleila was disappointed, but the beige ends of her hair let me know that she concerned about me.

I put on the most carefree laugh that I could, "I'm fine! Thanks for caring so much about me, though."

She reluctantly agreed to leave me behind and gave me a kiss on the forehead, like an older sister.

"See you at home?"

I nodded. "Mm Hm."

"Okay," she said, looking at me one last time before taking her things and making her way outside.

"Jaa, Kanzaki-san," Yoji said to me before disappearing after Daleila in the crowd.

I stared after them with a form of amusement. Daleila Azusa always attracted young men whom she would never have a serious relationship with. At the age of twenty-four she'd had more relationships than I could ever keep track of (and I'm her roommate). Sometimes I feel sorry for the poor fools she dates. Little do they know that they most likely won't have more than three dates with Daleila. It was always the same: she would meet him somewhere, they would go out a couple of times, then she would either A) realize she has nothing in common with him and breaks off the relationship, B) he wants her to sleep with him (which she won't do) and so she'll drop him like third period French, or C) she becomes too busy to have a guy in her life and ends it. In the four years I've known her, she's never dated anyone long enough to even call it a relationship. I can't say that I blame her, but I still felt sorry for those guys who have no idea what they're in for.

I got up from my table just as the music began to blare in the club once again. Any other time, this would have been my scene, but right now I wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

Pulling on my overcoat and walking out into the crisp, January air of Los Angeles made me feel a little better. Getting away from all that noise and those happy people helped too. When you're melancholy, happiness really pisses you off.

I walked a ways down the block. There were people everywhere since this part of town was swarming with clubs, bars, and theaters. I strolled down the boulevard slowly, avoiding people, my hands deep in my coat pockets, looking at nothing in particular. I didn't feel like going home just yet because I knew that I f I was all alone in that apartment all I would do is cry and cry.

My eyes were already watering at the thought. The last couple of months had been excruciatingly long for me. The emotions of sadness, depression, guilt and an overwhelming loneliness wash over me in amazing currents. I don't think I've ever forgiven myself for not at least telling Van how I really felt about him.

The pressure around my heart makes it difficult to breathe. I raise my eyes to the night sky.

Do you hear that, Van?

…I love you…

~*~*~

TBC…

Baracuda here. So this is the first chapter and already the main character is being all angsty. Sadness. Oh well…bwahaha! Author privileges. Anyhoo, many of my past readers might notice that I changed the POV…the whole thing won't be in just Hitomi's POV, but Van's too along with others later on, but for now I'm going to stick to just Van and Hitomi…Jaa, minna!

October 2002