Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Piece of Her Wings ~Untouched~ ❯ Not So Far Away ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: sadamex

Chapter Two:
Not So Far Away

Something is calling her.

She could sense it. It wasn't like a calling but rather a command, and it wasn't so much as a voice than it was a sensation. She couldn't only hear it, but she could feel it. Every fiber, every muscle of her entire body is aching to reach some incomprehensible destination, like a lost soul forever searching for her eternal resting place.

She was exactly like that. Restless.

Marlene woke up with a start, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat trickling down her forehead. She had that dream again. A senseless dream about nothing, but felt like it was something, something of great importance. All she could see was black, but her emotions—her senses—were so alive, so real, that she could almost reach out and touch and taste them.

She sat up on her bed with the same heavy feeling she's had when the dreams began. Even though she had enough sleep, she was very tired. Marlene had a little difficulty moving herself along, but after a while she came out of her room and joined Millerna in their little dining room.

Marlene plopped herself lazily on a chair and sighed heavily. "What's wrong, dear?" Millerna asked. "I've noticed that you've been always tired these days."

"I'm fine," Marlene answered, as she pressed her palms over her eyes. "It's just that I've been having these strange dreams. I always wake up feeling heavier than the night before." She sighed wearily.

"Oh?" her sister asked with some concern. "What kind of dreams?"

"That's just the thing, Millerna, they didn't make any sense," Marlene replied. "I feel as if it's not showing me something, but making me feel something. I haven't had a peaceful night in weeks."

"How curious," Millerna murmured.

They ate breakfast like they always do, and Millerna insisted that Marlene should stay put and get a bit of rest. But she shrugged it off and told her sister that she was just on feeding duty today, and that she was just going to pick some snails to feed the geese. Millerna insisted still, but Marlene quipped that her work wasn't that strenuous at all, anyway, and so, resigning to the fact that she could never win against her sister's stubbornness, Millerna shook her head and extracted a promise from Marlene that she be back before dusk.

Millerna went off to the fields, wearing her rubber boots and woven hat to help the other women with the planting. Marlene took her bucket, grabbed herself a hat to shade her from the sun, and went to the seashore to collect the snails.

She was walking along the coastline, having little luck with her catch as the tide was getting high and was washing the slugs and snails away. After about a half an hour of picking, she glanced at her bucket and saw that she had barely covered the bottom, so she decided to go to the rocky part of the beach, thinking that the snails would still cling to them.

The rocks were slippery, so she had to be very careful and slowly edged her way. She was right, though. There were plenty of snails and sea slugs for the geese that were clinging in all those little nooks and crannies.

The sun was high above the horizon, proudly shining down upon the fertile earth and abundant sea, showering all the creatures that inhabited both worlds with its warmth. Marlene's bucket was nearly full, but there was plenty more snails farther down the rocky slope. Again, she moved slowly because the water beneath her was very deep. The rocky islet that she was on is connected to a natural outcropping of rock formations that formed a bridge that the fishermen and the villagers use as their wharf, proving just how deep it really must be.

Marlene stopped for while to rest, taking off her hat to wipe her sweaty forehead and neck. The afternoon sun was blazing intensely, and soon she was fanning her hat to cool her face. It was no question that summer is fast approaching, and the sun was scorching her skin, feeling like being pricked with a thousand needles. "I think I'd go for a little swim to cool off, once my chores are over," she muttered to herself.

She let out a puff of air as she fanned her hat more vigorously, and absentmindedly stared at the water lapping up at the sides of the bridge. And then, a kind of misty longing came over her. It was a really hot day, and she hadn't realized how inviting and wonderful the cool, refreshing water was. Marlene slowly shifted her legs and sat at the edge of the bridge, letting her toes touch the cool water.

She gazed as if mesmerized at the sparkling clear blue water underneath her. And before she knew it, she couldn't control herself anymore. Her mind became clouded as she heard the ocean's song. I can hear it... she thought. I can hear my name being called...

And then her hands slowly stretched before her. Unconsciously, she bent down dangerously low to try to touch the water, not realizing she was going to plunge down to the rocky sea below. Somewhere deep inside her, her awareness was screaming out its warning. But she didn't hear it, she was too distracted by the aching melody of the sea that seemed to reach out to her.

"Marlene!" greeted a familiar voice from somewhere in the middle of the ocean.

Quite suddenly, Marlene's mind suddenly snapped alive again, and, realizing just how perilously close she really was to killing herself, she quickly sat upright and grabbed hold of the boulders. She was shaking with fear, her eyes were wide and frightened and her heart was thudding violently.

She had almost killed herself!

"Marlene!" shouted the voice again. Marlene turned her head seaward and shadowed her eyes with one hand, and saw the dark shape of a tall, lean man with long golden hair waving at her. "Good afternoon!"

Allen rowed in to shore and got off the bridge. "Finished?" he smiled at Marlene.

"Y-yeah," she shyly replied. She was still quite shaken with what had just happened, but now she was more nervous than frightened because Allen was there. He saved her life again. "Any luck?" she asked.

"Some, "Allen replied, tying his boat so it wouldn't drift away, as the silvery fish he had caught jumped and wiggled and splashed about at the bottom. "Maybe I'll go back later. Your sister and the womenfolk have the planting covered, so they don't really need my help out in the fields." He turned, smiled and took Marlene's bucket. "But first, I'm going to eat. I'm starving."

Marlene was about to explode, and was blushing furiously. Here she was, walking along the deserted beach beside the handsomest man in the entire planet. She couldn't help herself but to look at Allen's well-built body. She was so close to him, she could actually see every drop of sweat that clung to his body, glittering in the afternoon sun, illuminating his perfection. He was wearing a loose-fitting cropped shirt and pants, but it didn't deceive Marlene of how his body really looked like. His sweat and the salty seawater had drenched his clothes, and it clung to him, forming every curve and every muscle, fitting him like a glove. And with his damp hair tossed wildly by the wind like that, Marlene could feel a surging heat inside of her, making her forget everything but to kiss this deliciously sexy and fatally sensual creature that was walking beside her.

Marlene took the bucket from him, a slight shiver running down her as her hand brushed against his. "I'll take that. I still have to feed the animals." she carefully avoided his gaze. "Why don't you have lunch with us, Allen? I'm sure Millerna's already done with the cooking now." She offered, the fire inside her almost uncontrollable.

"No way." Allen said, shaking his head. "I made a solemn vow never to get myself seduced by your cooking again."

It must have been the intense heat, her still-foggy mind, Allen's intoxicating summer scent and his sexily drenched body combined that made the fire burst inside and made her say something as his gleaming, moist skin brushed dangerously close with hers. "You're worth seducing, though." She blurted out.

Marlene blushed furiously and quickly clamped one hand over her mouth. Oh, God! She thought. What was I thinking? She cursed herself silently, praying for the good graces and mercy of the God above that she be swallowed by the earth before she die of embarrassment.

Allen blinked with apparent surprise, then chuckled softly.

Marlene bowed and muttered a few incomprehensible excuses, and literally flew towards the farm, away from Allen's sight.

-------------------------------------

Marlene was busy chopping some potatoes for the stew she was preparing while Millerna was putting butter on the freshly-baked bread. Marlene stayed home for the remainder of the afternoon, dismissing the plan she had earlier of taking a dip in the ocean. Allen said he'd go back fishing that afternoon, and she definitely wanted to avoid him just now.

She also prudently kept today's quite steamy events from her sister.

Strangely, though, Marlene's fascination—and near-disastrous conversation—with Allen made her momentarily forget about the almost fatal lapse she had back in the ocean wharf. She wondered what had exactly happened. She was clearly rational one moment ago, then the next minute she was about to plunge herself unknowingly towards the jutting rocks on that wharf. She had no clear recollection of that moment, except that she had felt that strong feeling of beckoning once more.

Like the ones she had on her dreams.

Marlene's face creased in thought. What is going on with her? Is she going insane? She keeps hearing voices, and she has this strange urge to wander. Why is she feeling restless, feeling as if she needs to search for something?

"Knock, knock," Allen said at the door.

Marlene was distracted from her thoughts and quickly turned around so she could hide her embarrassment.

"Allen! Come in!" Millerna exclaimed. "Are you joining us for dinner?"

Marlene was positively sure she was about to die.

"What's cooking?" Allen asked as he stepped inside.

"Marlene's cooking stew, and I made bread," Millerna replied.

Allen smiled. Marlene could feel his eyes fixed at her back. "No way." Allen said, shaking his head. "I made a solemn vow never to get myself tricked by your cooking again."

Oh, Allen was merciless. Marlene closed her eyes in embarrassment and wished she could stick her head inside the bubbling pot of stew before her. She felt as if Allen was deliberately teasing her! Still, she liked the idea, though.

"I grilled some fish and I brought you ladies some," Allen said.

"Well, why don't you just join us, then? Marlene's almost finished." Millerna stubbornly insisted.

Allen shook his head again. "I really can't, Millerna." He paused. "But perhaps I could talk with Marlene for a while outside,"

Marlene could feel her heart crowding her throat.

Millerna giddily scooted beside her. "Go," she squeaked. "I'll take care of this." Then she added loudly, "And make sure Allen doesn't escape dinner. Use all your charms to entrap him." She winked.

Entrap. Of all the words to use.

Allen chuckled softly before going out. Marlene couldn't help blushing as she timidly followed him.

It was a beautiful night outside. The moon hovered low and large over the distant purple-stained mountains, giving the whole landscape with a misty, ghostly look. The cool sea breeze whistled softly as they tossed Allen's golden locks, and the crickets filled the air with their aching song. The midnight blue sky was adorned with beautiful stars, like diamond dust scattered to form a glittering gateway to heaven. It was the most perfect of nights to be with the man she secretly loved for all these years, and even though she was still embarrassed about the events that happened earlier that day, the gentle and comforting darkness that crept upon them made her feel calm, and the warm glow surged in her veins once more. She couldn't help it, she knew she couldn't, the aura that Allen had around him was such a powerful force to be reckoned with. And even though the thought of actually seducing Allen right then and there made her feel horrendously silly, she came pretty quite close.

But after silence after silence came between them, Marlene couldn't contain her increasing edginess any longer. "Allen, I'm sorry about this morning, I wasn't thinking rationally when I said that—" she blurted out in one breath.

"Marlene—" Allen tried to cut in.

"...in fact, I wasn't rational the whole morning and I almost fell off the wharf but then you called—"

"Y-you almost fell off the wharf!?" he asked incredulously.

"...and it was because of the heat that made me think stupid and improper things, and so maybe what I'm trying to say is," she stopped finally for a gulp of breath, bowed and said, "I'm sorry."

Allen blinked in silence then broke off in a soft laughter that made Marlene even more embarrassed and nervous. "That's not what I want to talk to you about." Allen said.

Marlene's head shot up. "It's not?" she asked with some disbelief.

Allen laughed uneasily. "No."

Marlene heaved a vast sigh of relief. She could feel the hot flow draining from her cheeks. Since Allen had announced that that was not their topic of discussion, she felt more at ease now. Maybe Allen doesn't really mind what happened this morning, she thought. Maybe it doesn't bother him so much as it did to me.

Allen made a rueful face. "What you said this morning probably had a lot to do with it, though." He softly muttered before advancing towards her.

Marlene didn't expect that last statement that Allen said, and so she was totally unprepared as Allen approached her steadily. In her mind she was panicking; she had no time to think of what to do, so she just stood there, dumbfounded and looking like a fool, awaiting what will happen next.

The darkness around them was thick, and it enveloped the two, embracing them, as if they really were all alone in that secluded little spot. Slowly, Marlene's mind started to dim as all her thoughts, senses and concentration were devoted to the man closing in on her. She didn't care what happens now, even though her heart was beating violently and her palms were getting really sweaty, she was excited—and quite nervous—at the same time.

Allen now stood within breathing space, and there was an oddly unfamiliar look in his eyes. Marlene couldn't read them; she was too blinded by the mist forming about her own eyes and by the fog that has started to cloud her mind. There was a total conflict of emotions inside of her, and not even the cool night air could stop the heat that was flowing inside her right now.

Allen slowly touched Marlene's cheek, and a tingling jolt of electricity went down her spine. She shivered, and Allen gently cupped her cheeks and tilted them upwards. He was now staring directly at her, boring into her eyes, communicating to her with unsaid words. Marlene could feel Allen's breath touching her face. She was sure she was about to faint. Her knees finally gave way as they buckled under her weight. She knew she was totally helpless in the arms of Allen. How could she resist his charms? She knew that she was so vulnerable at that moment that Allen will succeed without even trying. And so, why would she even try? She just closed her eyes in sweet surrender, her slightly parted lips moist and trembling as they anticipated Allen's sweet kiss.

"Marlene," Allen said softly, and a bit sadly. "I'm sorry... but I'm in love with Millerna."

Marlene's eyes suddenly opened as Allen's confession echoed inside her head. "Wha—what did you just say?" she asked.

Allen didn't answer, but just stared at her with an almost naked sorrow, and Marlene finally understood. Her realization hit her like a staggering blow in the face. She bowed down to disconnect her eyes from Allen's blue depths. Somehow, she couldn't bear to look at them anymore. She felt that she would burst into tears if she gazed at those melancholy eyes of his. She untangled herself from Allen's arms as she tensed her body. She steeled herself. She forced herself not to cry. "I see." She lifelessly said. "I'm sorry."

Allen glanced away with a pained look. "Please don't say that," he began. "It just adds to my guilt."

So now I make you feel guilty. She thought. She stayed bowed like that, not trusting herself as the tears started to gather up in her eyes. "That's why I'm sorry," she said emotionlessly. "For loving you." There. She said it. After years of silently admiring Allen, this was the only time that she had managed to say it. A huge knot in her chest was suddenly released, and that little outburst made the tears swell even more. It took her an almost inhuman self-control to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Allen started again. "You see, I've loved your sister even before—" he hesitated. "Even before you came here."

She could feel a sharp pang deep inside her. Another blow in the face. Marlene clenched her fists and gritted her teeth as she felt the tears burning her eyes. She stayed silent like that for quite a while, calming herself, holding back the tears. And then, when she has succeeded in suppressing them, she tensed herself and faced Allen back. Her expression was dull, flat, cold and emotionless, even uncaring, and it clearly pained Allen deeply to see her like that, and he had to look away once more.

"I'm sorry." Marlene repeated. "I should've consulted with my sister first."

"Marlene..." Allen said.

"I should've asked her if you were eligible for my idiotic affections first," she grated on.

"Marlene, please..." Allen pleaded.

"It was stupid of me, to secretly admire someone who I'm not worthy of," she said, her voice trembling as the tears welled up. "I-I shouldn't have loved y-you. Please f-forgive me." She said.

"Marlene," Allen softly said, his voice also trembling and his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It's not your fault... please don't blame yourself..." he slowly took a step closer and put her hands on her shoulders. "I've always loved your sister," he murmured. "But you make it so hard, Marlene... you make it so hard..."

"Damn you, Allen!" Marlene burst out as the tears she tried so hard to suppress finally gave way. "I make it hard for you?" she asked. "I make it hard for you, Allen?" she whispered angrily, the tears flowing out of control. "All I did was love you, Allen, all I did was love you." Her face twisted in a look of pure suffering that made Allen wince. "All I e-ever did was to love y-you," she cried, her defenses crumbled apart. "You have been so g-good to me. Y-You saved my life twice, and for that I-I've s-secretly longed for you for all this t-time." She sobbed uncontrollably. "But then I make things hard for you?"

And Allen held her, stroking her hair and murmuring what comfort he could give. Marlene was so helpless. She had wanted to cry for so long but she had tried to hold it back, thinking that she had to win by not letting Allen see her bleed openly. But all of that disappeared as she stood there, hurt and hopelessly lost in Allen's arms, sobbing and crying her heart out.

After a while, Marlene gently brushed his arms away and stepped away from him. "No." she whispered. "Please don't make matters worse. I love you, but you love Millerna. Just leave it at that. Let's just hope that what I'm feeling is just a phase, and that it'll eventually pass."

Allen hesitated. "I just hope that you won't change the way you feel about Miller—"

Marlene cut him. "I won't hate my sister," she whispered, her head bowed once more. "Or you, for that matter. In fact, I love you." She gathered enough courage to look at him full in the face. Her eyes might be puffy and red, but the sincerity and the harshness that was shown in them were real. "I love you, Allen. I've loved you ever since that day I woke up and saw your blue eyes staring back at me." She paused. "I have no memories." She started. "I don't even have an identity. And even though I was contented in living here with all of you, I was trying hard not to admit that I was in fact very lonely..." she wiped a tear. "You were my happiness, Allen." She whispered. "It was your tenderness that made me survive until now. You never knew how much even a smile from you would take away my loneliness." She gazed sadly at him. "But I guess it's too much to ask for your love now, is it?" she asked a bit cynically. The tears flowed out once more, and continued to flow. She didn't even try to hide it this time. It was like a river; flowing endlessly like a raging storm from her wounded, angry heart.

"I do love you, Marlene." Allen said awkwardly, holding her arm. "I love you like a sister."

Marlene snorted bitterly. She wanted to attack Allen right now. She wanted to punch him square in the face. There was so much turmoil inside of her, a dangerous concoction of conflicting emotions that was ready to burst out all at once. She turned her back at him and started towards the door, her anger melting into indescribable pain and suffering as she finally decided to walk out of his life forever.

"Marlene," Allen called out tentatively to her, and she momentarily stopped. "I'm still here if you need me," he offered. "Just two houses down. Not so far away."

"Yeah," Marlene answered, her voice growing thick. "I know."

She had trouble remembering what happened next, or how her sister reacted when she locked herself in her room without dinner. She was too busy blaming herself to notice. He doesn't like you, Marlene! He likes Millerna! Well, what did you expect? You didn't actually think that he'd fall for a complete strangernow, did you? What were you thinking?

She cried, and cried, and cried. Her pillow was wet with her tears, but they didn't seem to end. The grief and loss she felt tore at her heart, and simple crying seemed too unfit to help contain her sadness.

The next thing she knew, she was packing herself a few clothes and some traveling money in an old canvas bag and silently sneaked out her bedroom window. One thing was for certain now: she had to get away from this place as far as she can. She knew that she was fooling herself when she said that her feelings for Allen was just a phase. She knew it wasn't. She couldn't bear staying there anymore, she knew that the sorrow and despair that she feels would be enough to kill her, and so she decided to run away.

She slipped past the houses and quietly headed down the thick forest that surrounded the village. She had no idea where she would go, for she had nowhere else to go. She just wanted to get away from the place where she gained a new life, and had lost everything. Before, Allen had been her bind, her powerful chain which kept her from succumbing to the distant calling from beyond. But now that she was set free, she could go and search for her true self, for what lies before her beyond the stark purple mountains. Marlene left her home, her life, and her heart behind as well.

As she entered the forest that will lead her out of the village, she looked back and saw Allen's hut in the distance, his lantern glowing still. Her beautiful Allen, his majestic hair flowing gently in the wind, stood alone in the doorway. Two houses down, and not so far away from Marlene's grasp.

Tsuzuku

"I've always loved your sister," he murmured. "But you make it so hard, Marlene... you make it so hard..."

Footnotes:

Not So Far Awayis a BGM title from Ragnarok Online, taken from one of the maps surrounding the city of Amatsu. I used this title because of the certain sadness in the BGM that would fit well with this chapter, and so I used this rather than the much appropriate phrase "Not too far away".

That's just about it. Hope you enjoyed this rather long installment!

Sadame-chan 091404