Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Are You Steady Now? ❯ A Friend that Knows You Well ( Chapter 4 )

“Are You Steady Now?”

Part 4: A Friend that Knows You Well

By: Omni-sama

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Ratings, disclaimers, etc. found in first chapter

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“So how do you know Takatori?” Ryou asked curiously, setting down his glass of scotch and leaning over the table a little.

 

On the other side of the table, Ran took a sip of his bottled Kirin before responding. “We used to work and live together.” He paused when he realized how that might be interpreted—and noticed Ryou's expression, which implied he had in fact interpreted it that way. Letting out a short laugh, he shook his head and clarified. “Lived in the same building together. It was him, me, our friend Ken, and…my lover.”

 

“You all worked together? Where? What'd you do?”

 

Ran smirked before he took another sip from his bottle. “We were florists.”

 

Ryou blinked as he tried to imagine Takatori Mamoru or even Ran as a florist. It was an odd image, to say the least. He got visions of Takatori in a business suit daintily arranging flowers, and Ran… Well, actually, he could sort of see Ran as a florist, if he really thought about it. More so than he could picture Takatori as one. But still, the image of either of them as florists made him laugh. He laughed so hard that he fell backwards onto the floor. It was a good thing that they were already sitting on cushions on the floor, otherwise it would have been a rather painful fall.

 

After work, Ran had taken him to one of those bars which were pretty much created to cater towards the salaryman or office-lady. There was a main room with a large rectangular bar that cut through most of the middle, the counter and stools running along three sides. Off of the main room, there were smaller rooms designed to offer privacy for anything from official business-related meetings, to friends wanting to talk without the risk of interruption. Ran and Ryou were in one such room, which had raised, tatami flooring and contained a low table with pillows for seats. Their shoes had been left outside the room, nestled against the place where you step up to enter. A curtain was draped across the entryway, allowing them more privacy. If they wanted service, there was a small box with a button located on their table, which would let the servers know that they were needed. Otherwise, they were left alone. In order to reduce the number of times they'd be interrupted, they had taken to ordering several drinks at once, instead of calling the server back after every drink.

 

Ran had kept true to his word, and answered any question Ryou could come up with about his life. It had started off rather normal, with Ryou asking typical questions about Ran's parents and if he had any siblings. Evidently there had been some type of accident, and Ran's parents were killed while his sister had fallen into a coma. She was fine now, but they rarely spoke. Then Ryou started asking questions that he knew Ran must have found strange. He asked what his most memorable times in elementary and junior high were, when it was he first realized he liked boys, who his first kiss was, what other parts of Japan had he seen, did he ever own a bicycle and if so what kind, what was his favorite candy as a child, and a few other seemingly unusual questions. But Ran answered them each, only hesitating when he needed to take a moment to consider it and remember something. Ryou's questions eventually started working their way more towards the present.

 

“So you were all florists, and you lived in the same building?” Still chuckling, Ryou pulled himself back up into a sitting position.

 

“Yes, though later we took the business on the road and we all worked and lived out of one of those camper things…trailer?...motor home?...RV?…um…those things.” Ran chuckled too and finished off his beer. “God, that was the worst. No privacy. None. We all wanted to kill each other by the time we were through.” Despite his words, Ran's eyes twinkled with humor as he thought about it. Ryou couldn't help but admire the way Ran looked when he was smiling and laughing. He didn't think it was possible for the man to get any more attractive, but he was evidently wrong.

 

“So if you hated it so much, why'd you guys do it?” Somehow Ryou managed to tear his eyes away from Ran for a few seconds in order to pick up a pot sticker with his chopsticks. Along with the alcohol, they had also ordered some food. After all, Ryou hadn't really gotten a chance to eat his lunch earlier that day.

 

Ran thought a minute as he reached for another bottle and twisted the top off. “Seemed like a good idea at the time?” He offered Ryou a rueful smirk, his eyes still showing amusement.

 

“Hn. Right. So, how did Takatori go from being a florist to…well…what he is now?” The pot sticker was washed down with another generous sip of scotch.

 

“Now, that's his story to tell, not mine. I'll answer anything you want about my life, but it's not my place to answer about another's.” Amusement quickly fading from his eyes, Ran took a long gulp from his beer.

 

Ryou was feeling pleasantly buzzed, and he knew that Ran had to have a similar buzz after all the beer the man had consumed so far. But Ryou was feeling bold, and since Ran had kept to his word so far, he figured it would be safe to start asking questions that might be a bit more sensitive in nature. “So how did you get out of the florist business?”

 

Shrugging, Ran set his bottle on the table. “I…got interested in teaching. But before I could work towards doing that professionally, I started doing other work for a rather large company. They transferred me to America for a short while.”

 

“You said earlier today that Takatori lied to you while you were in America. What did he lie about?” Ryou bit his lip after asking, hoping that Ran wouldn't get angry with him and that he'd actually answer the question.

 

The redhead was silent for a moment, just sitting there staring down at his bottle. Eventually he sighed and looked up at Ryou. “I was injured while I was over there. Stabbed by some kid on the street. When Takatori heard about it, he flew over to see me, and to see if I wanted to return to Japan. He told me that they had found my lover, and that he was still alive. But he was lying, because it turns out they had already found him dead not long after I had been in America.”

 

“Damn… Why the fuck would he do that? Lie like that?” It confused him, trying to reconcile the image of the helpful and caring Takatori he knew with the lying bastard that he was sounding like from Ran's accounts. The only answer Ran could offer him was a shrug of his shoulders.

 

A silence fell over the room, and both men didn't even really move for quite some time. They sat their silently staring at their respective drinks, both lost in thought. Suddenly Ran shattered the awkward silence with the murmur of “You shouldn't marry her.”

 

Ryou didn't even move, save for the cheerless smirk that slowly stretched across his lips. His head was slightly lowered, and his eyes remained fixed on the dark amber scotch. “When you take someone out to celebrate his engagement, I don't think you're supposed to tell him not to marry the person he just got engaged to.”

 

“I'm serious. Don't marry her.”

 

The smirk left Ryou's lips, but he still didn't look up at his friend. “Why?”

 

“It's not what you want, it's what Takatori wants. He thinks he's doing you a favor by setting up your life like this, trying to make it the perfect fucking cookie-cutter life. But it's not what you want.”

 

“And just what exactly do I want, Ran? You seem to know, so why don't you tell me? Although, if you do, I fail to see how it's any different from how Takatori tells me what it is I'm supposed to want.”

 

“I don't know what you want, Ryou. I just know what you very obviously don't want.”

 

He looked up at that, to find Ran looking back at him. The man's eyes were serious and seemed to reflect all the pain he himself was feeling. “What the fuck am I supposed to do, then? I don't have a name, Ran. I'm borrowing hers. If I don't marry her, I'd have to marry someone else just so I can have an identity. Don't you see?”

 

“Bullshit.” Ryou jerked back as if slapped, eyes widening. Glaring, Ran explained, “If Takatori could pull the strings to set you up with one identity, he can do it to get you another. Make up your own goddamn family name, if you want. Why do you have to use hers or anyone else's? Don't you see that everything that he's been telling you, every piece of `advice,' has been so that he could steer you towards making the choices that he wanted you to make? He doesn't give a damn about what you really might be feeling. He just has this idea of what would be best for you, and he's doing what he can to make it a reality whether you really want it or not.”

 

“But…”

 

“No. No buts. This is bullshit, and I think part of you damn well knows it.”

 

Looking quickly back down at his drink, Ryou did what he could to stop the faint trembling he could feel. It was true, and he knew Ran was right. But there was something that his friend just didn't understand. “I need someone.”

 

“No, you don't. I'm trying to tell you that y—”

 

“No, I'm trying to tell you that I need someone!” He looked back up at Ran, taking his turn to glare while his friend looked back at him with shock. “I don't know how to explain it other than just saying that I need someone. Fuck, I don't even understand it myself. It just feels like there's part of me that's empty—other than the part missing all my goddamn memories—and that part needs someone to fill it.”

 

Snapping out of his shock, Ran narrowed his eyes and smacked his hands palm-down on the table, leaning forward a little. “Then pick someone you actually give a shit about instead of settling for some woman you only feel awkward around!”

 

“I care about Asuka!”

 

“But you don't love her, and you've told me yourself how fucking awkward you feel around her.”

 

“You know, I don't think I should be taking relationship advice from someone who's still in love with a dead man.” The moment he said those words he regretted them, as he watched Ran suddenly shrink back with hurt in his eyes. “Fuck… I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.”

 

“You're an idiot,” Ran murmured with quiet anger as he picked up his beer to take another drink.

 

“I know I am. I'm sorry.” The familiar pain of the cat inside him clawing at his heart came back, and he dared to reach across the table to lay his hand over the one of Ran's not holding the bottle.

 

Ran stared silently at their hands for a while, and Ryou felt relieved that he hadn't been yelled at nor had the hand been jerked away. “I want you to be happy, Ryou,” Ran sighed before looking up at him. “That's all I want. I'm sorry if I upset you, but you mean a great deal to me. I just…want you to be happy.”

 

And just like that, the cat stopped scratching and his heart felt so incredibly good. “But what about you, Ran?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“You're placing so much concern on my happiness, but what about yours? What would make you happy?” Unconsciously, his fingers started to gently caress the back of Ran's hand.

 

“I'd rather not say. It's something far too selfish.” As he felt Ran start to pull his hand away, Ryou quickly went from caressing the hand to gripping it gently. It worked to halt the hand in its place and allow Ryou to continue touching him.

 

“Everyone's allowed to be a little selfish sometimes. Tell me, Ran. What would make you happy?” Ran had taken to looking down and away, but Ryou leaned forward a little, tilting his head in an attempt to get into Ran's field of vision. “Hm? Come on, you said you'd answer any of my questions tonight.”

 

At first it looked like Ran wasn't going to respond with anything but silence. Then just as Ryou felt about ready to give up because he didn't want to make his friend feel too uncomfortable by pressing the question, Ran lifted his head and pinned him with one of his intense gazes. “If you had asked me that a few years ago, my answer would have been to have my sister open her eyes. But she's awake and fine now, as I've said. If you asked me that question a year ago, it would have been for my lover to get over his own grief and for our relationship to work again. But it fell apart instead, and he… Well, you know.” He sighed and let his gaze fall again, settling somewhere in the space between Ryou's glass and chest.

 

“But now? What would make you happy now, Ran?” Still holding Ran's hand, Ryou started to once again caress it, this time running his thumb softly along his knuckles.

 

Ran didn't answer right away, hesitating briefly as he appeared to be organizing his thoughts. “I thought those two things were impossible, but what I want now… It's not so much that it's impossible, as it just…shouldn't happen.”

 

“Well, let's pretend that we live in a world where it should. What would it be?”

 

“It'll sound cheesy if I say it.” Ryou was surprised to see an amused and embarrassed smirk tug at the corner of Ran's mouth.

 

“I promise I won't laugh.”

 

“People always promise that, and they always laugh anyway. Besides, I don't think laughing will be the reaction you'd have to it…”

 

“Oh for Christ's sake, Ran… Just say it.”

 

Letting out a little hn, Ran pulled his hand free from Ryou's and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the blond. “Why should I? You haven't said what would make you happy. Hell, you don't even know.”

 

“I do too know!” Ryou objected defensively, as part of him mentally smacked himself and argued that he was in fact quite clueless on that matter.

 

“Oh really?” Ran did not look convinced, and one dark red eyebrow arced up while its mate pressed down. For a moment, Ryou was struck with how even that expression was incredibly hot on Ran.

 

“Yeah.” And suddenly that part of him that had argued just a moment ago fell silent.

 

Ran seemed to notice the change, and his expression quickly shifted to something…softer. Something different. Something that Ryou couldn't quite read. “Then tell me.”

 

“So if I tell you mine, you'll tell me yours? That it?”

 

Letting out one short scoff, Ran rolled his eyes. “Are we in junior high now all of a sudden?”

 

“Why not?” Ryou asked with a shrug. “After all, I don't remember junior high, so I can pretend this is it.” He gave Ran a cheeky grin and even dared to leer a little. And then Ran's expression changed again, his eyes running over Ryou's face as if searching for something. Or perhaps it was that he had found something that caught him off guard. “You ok, Ran?” A nod was given as an answer, but he didn't feel too convinced. “Yeah, well… So if I tell you what would make me happy… You have to tell me what would make you happy. Deal?”

 

There was another slow nod before “deal” was murmured softly. But now that the ball was back in Ryou's court, he didn't want it. All too late he realized just what it would mean to tell Ran what would make him happy. After all, Ran was the answer. He mentally cursed himself for backing himself into a corner like this.

 

There was a quick scramble for his mind to come up with something that wouldn't be flat out telling Ran everything. Finally something came to him that wasn't quite the truth, but really wasn't a lie. He hoped it was enough. Ran was looking expectantly at him, and he shifted a little on his pillow before voicing the lines that he'd come up with. “I want the person I love to love me back. That's what would make me happy. I don't care about any of the more boring details in life. Like, I don't care about what job I have, or how well I live. The only thing that will really affect my happiness is that person's love.” After he said it, he realized how sappy it sounded and offered an apologetic smirk. “Jeez, I sound like I'm in a girly manga…”

 

Ran was silent again and was staring down into his bottle as if it held some sort of fascinating yet sad secret. “It's alright,” he said softly just when Ryou was starting to worry he'd said something too strange. “That's pretty much what I want too, actually. I think it might be what a lot of people want. Humans were meant to be in pairs. A lot of people spend their entire lives searching for that person they are meant to be paired up with. It's a natural desire.”

 

“So, you want to be with the one you love, as well?” Ran nodded in response but didn't take his eyes off his bottle. Ryou took a long sip of his scotch before daring to speak again. “But, he's dead.”

 

That got a smirk from Ran, and the violet eyes looked up at Ryou through blood red bangs. “And I can never love again, is that it?”

 

“You have someone new that you love? It's…” Pausing, Ryou frowned and glared at his drink. “It's not Arai, is it?” When Ran let out a short chuckle, Ryou looked back up at him with a flare of embarrassment and anger. It was an anger that was short lived, however, when he saw the smile on Ran's face. There was a tenderness about it, and something was twinkling just behind his eyes that Ryou would swear was affection.

 

Suddenly Ran was standing, and Ryou felt slightly panicked, worrying that Ran was just going to walk out now. But he hadn't seemed angry, so he didn't understand what went wrong in that mere span of seconds that would make him want to leave. Ran didn't move towards the doorway, however, but surprised Ryou further by walking around to his side of the table. Kneeling on a pillow beside Ryou, Ran reached out and grabbed a firm hold on Ryou's tie. With a short tug, Ryou was forced to lean closer to Ran, and he caught a soft “idiot” whispered before lips were pressed hard against his own.

 

Ryou's first thought was how different Ran's lips were from Asuka's. They weren't as soft or full, and the kiss was far more demanding than anything Asuka had given him. And then it hit him—he was being kissed by Ran. Ran, the man who had taken up a starring role in his erotic dreams. Ran, his best friend. Ran, the man he was pretty sure he was in love with, no matter how strange that thought was every damn time he had it. But Ran was kissing him. Hard. His lips were forcing Ryou's open, and his tongue was invading the blond's mouth with so much skill and sensual grace that Ryou seriously started to wonder if this was just another dream. While his mind was caught up on the details, his body cared only about the feel of Ran's lips and tongue, so his own tongue started to respond. Feeling Ryou's tongue slide against his own seemed to be the sign Ran needed to intensify it. Though how it was possible to get even more intense, Ryou wasn't too sure. But suddenly it was.

 

Their mouths practically tried to devour each other, and somewhere along the way Ryou had tangled one hand in the hair at the base of Ran's skull while his other hand had wound its way around the man's waist. As a result, Ran had moved to Ryou's lap, where he straddled his thighs and rocked subtly against him. A soft tugging around his neck and the muted sound of cloth sliding against cloth let Ryou know that Ran had just undone the tie he had been holding. There was gentle tugging along his shirt, and then a hand slid against his naked chest. With a gasp, he pulled his lips away from Ran's for the first time since they had connected. He didn't move too far, however, as they pressed their foreheads together and breathed in each other's air with heavy breaths.

 

“What the hell just happened?” Ryou managed to ask through his panting, trying to focus on Ran's eyes but unable to while being so close.

 

“Something that I wanted to happen since I saw you in the bar,” was Ran's answer. His voice was even deeper than normal, rich and heady despite being slightly out of breath. The sound combined with the words made Ryou's already mostly-hard cock twitch in his pants. This had to be a dream, he told himself, because shit this good just didn't happen to him in real life.

 

But there was a part of his brain that was nagging at him, reminding him of Takatori's words, causing a strange and unwelcome feeling to form in his gut. He swallowed, tried to get his mind to focus on something besides the feel of Ran still rocking subtly against him, and moved his head back so that they were no longer touching and the air he breathed didn't taste of Ran. Of course, Ran instantly picked up on the change coming over Ryou, and a frown tugged at the redhead's damp lips. Ryou's eyes lingered longer than they should have on those lips, remembering their feel and wanting it again. Somehow he managed to draw in a deep breath and cool his head. There was something he had to get clear before he'd allow himself to go any further with his friend.

 

“I need to ask you something, and I don't want you to get pissed at me for asking it. It's something important.” Since he had pulled away, he was better able to focus on Ran's eyes, and he studied them for any type of reaction that might come. He watched them cool off from the passion that had filled them just seconds before, and was amazed to find them studying him back, looking rational and clear.

 

“Fine,” Ran nodded, moving the hand that was on Ryou's chest up to caress his cheek. “There's something I have to ask you, too. I promise not to get mad about what you ask, if you promise not to get mad about what I ask.”

 

It seemed like a fair trade, but Ryou was starting to worry just what it was that Ran had to ask him. He nodded his agreement, and waited a moment after Ran acknowledged the acceptance before he voiced his question. “I just want to make sure… You're not using me as a replacement for him, are you?”

 

A frown once again pulled at Ran's lips, and Ryou worried that he was going to break the deal and get angry. He really would understand if he did. It was such a dick thing to ask, and he knew it. But it was something he had to ask. Otherwise, the worry would always be there in the back of his mind, nagging at him. The frown never fully formed on Ran's lips, as an understanding and resigned smile took its place. Then the lips were pressing a soft kiss to Ryou's forehead and long fingers were combing through his hair.

 

“Impossible,” Ran whispered with a strange little gleam in his eye that Ryou couldn't identify. “I could never do that to you.”

 

And with those words, the nagging in his mind and the feeling in his gut vanished. He felt himself returning Ran's smile, though he knew his was bigger and probably looked a little goofy. Amusement shown in Ran's eyes to confirm Ryou's suspicions of how he looked, but he didn't care. He was happy. Really fucking happy. Ran loved him, and not as some dead man's replacement, but as the person he was. He didn't think anything could ruin the happiness he was feeling in that moment.

 

“Now for my question.” Then again, maybe something could… His smile faded as he waited silently for Ran to continue and ask whatever it was that he needed to ask. “You don't just want to be with me because you `need' someone, do you?”

 

Frantically his mind replayed snippets of the conversation they had just had, and he realized exactly how some of it could be taken. It was a reasonable question to ask, and the only thing that upset him was that he had unintentionally caused Ran to doubt and worry. Wrapping his arms around Ran and pulling him closer, he did what he could to assure the man that his feelings were true. “No. Shit no, that's not why. From the moment I saw you, I thought you were the most gorgeous person alive. And then I got to know you, and you got to know me, and I came to realize that I'm the happiest when I'm with you. I always look forward to seeing you. Hell, sometimes I get damn near giddy. I may feel the need to have someone, but I want you. If I stuck with Asuka or went with someone else, it would be out of need, but I wouldn't want any of them. You're the only one I've actually wanted.”

 

That seemed to be exactly what Ran needed to hear, because as soon as he finished talking, lips were covering his again and his mouth was once more occupied with two tongues. Hands were suddenly all over him, pushing his shirt open even further, caressing his chest, sides, stomach, and finally his crotch. Ran palmed him through the fabric for a moment, rubbing his cupped hand along the confined length. Then he felt the tugging at his waist to indicate that the button was undone, and the whispery rasp of the zipper was heard distinctly above the sounds of their kissing. He moved his hands to try to unbutton Ran's shirt, since he felt it was unfair that he was the only one partially undressed, but his hands were batted away by one hand while Ran kept the other down working on the fly. As he pulled away from the kiss to verbally protest, his words were cut short when long, rough fingers slid into his fly and between the flaps of his boxers in order to stroke along his length. The only sound that escaped his mouth was a choked-off groan, and he bit his lip to stay quiet when he felt those nimble fingers draw him out into the open. They were, after all, still at the restaurant.

 

He reached up for the buttons on Ran's shirt again, but the man dodged him and started to slide down, moving off of Ryou's lap so that he could lower his head towards the open fly. Ryou watched him move, catching the way Ran grabbed at the hidden pendant of the silver necklace he always wore inside his shirt, gripping it there through the fabric as if to make sure it wouldn't slip free in his descent. It struck him as odd, but before he had too much time to think about it, he was sufficiently distracted by warm breath on the head of his cock. Gasping, he buried the fingers of his right hand in Ran's long red hair, leaning back to brace himself on his left arm. His eyes flicked towards the curtained entryway as he spared a second's worry about being caught like this. But then he reasoned that as long as they stayed quiet, no one would know and no one would disturb them.

 

When a warm wet tongue slowly ran up the underside of his cock, he was struck again with the thought of how this must all be some sort of dream. Surely Ran wasn't really kneeling and bent over in front of him, head in his lap as he prepared to suck him off. It was just a dream. A very hot, incredibly realistic dream. A dream where Ran evidently was quite skilled at giving head, as he felt those lips he had enjoyed kissing so much wrap around the head of his cock and slide slowly down. Ran's tongue slid along and prodded at spots that had Ryou whimpering softly and biting his lip harder. It was as if the man knew every single detail of Ryou's cock and what he liked the best. Never had it felt this good to have someone sucking him. Then again, the only person he could remember ever doing that was Asuka, and it was only once and was sloppy and not very good. Well, it wasn't bad. It just wasn't nearly as incredible as what Ran was doing with his tongue and lips.

 

His hips rolled before he could stop them, pressing himself deeper into Ran's waiting mouth. Before he could worry that he'd gone too far, he felt Ran moan with pleasure, the vibration traveling deliciously along his length and to his balls. It felt good, so he repeated the action and earned another moan. Soon they were working together in a rhythm that had Ryou on the edge in no time. Every so often Ran would take him in to the full, swallow around him in his throat, then pull back again to keep up with the established rhythm.

 

Again he was hit with just how unreal it all seemed. Everything was happening so fast. They were drinking and talking, then suddenly Ran's on his lap and they're kissing, and then Ran's head is in his lap and his mouth around his cock. How the hell did they get from point A to point Z? Was it the alcohol? Or maybe it was just the months of want and desire finally building up to a point that something snapped. All confusion and concern fled Ryou's mind when he felt Ran slip his hand through the fly and down his pants. The fingers stroked his sack through the fabric of his boxers, and Ryou was very glad that he had chosen the silk ones that morning. Then the fingers slid lower, causing Ryou to lean back further until he was propped up on his elbow instead of his hand. Somehow Ran managed to locate his entrance blindly, pressing at it through the boxers. The feel of silk rubbing against the sensitive spot had Ryou shuddering, and Ran humming encouragingly around his cock.

 

Feeling just the tip of Ran's silk-covered finger press into him helped push Ryou over the edge. He tried to warn Ran as soon as he felt his balls tighten, tugging gently at the hair wrapped around his fingers. But Ran wouldn't budge, instead sucking harder and even more eagerly than he had been. Giving up on holding back any longer, Ryou came with a quivering breath from suppressing a cry. Ran still didn't move away, swallowing down each pulse of release. That was something else that was different from Asuka. She had moved away and used her hand for the final few strokes to send him off, letting his cum land on his own chest and as far from her face or mouth as possible. Before it would start to feel unwelcome on his now overly-sensitive cock, Ran drew back from sucking on him. His head remained in Ryou's lap just long enough to lap a few more times at the head in order to make sure it was spotless, before he pulled himself up into a sitting position on his knees. As he moved to sit up, however, Ryou absently noticed that Ran once again clutched at the necklace inside his shirt.

 

“Fuck,” was all Ryou could say as he took in the sight before him, and it came out on the exhalation of a heavy pant. Ran looked even more gorgeous with his hair disheveled from Ryou's grip, his lips wet and slightly swollen, and his cheeks flushed with desire. Glancing down, Ryou noticed that he was the only one who had found release and a part of him felt bad for it. He should do something to reciprocate. So, he reached out and rubbed at the obvious bulge in Ran's pants much like the redhead had done to him earlier. Ran moaned softly and rocked his hips only once before taking Ryou's wrist and forcing him to stop.

 

“Not here,” Ran whispered, leaning close to kiss Ryou's lips. He tasted himself a little, even though it was a chaste and closed-mouth kiss.

 

He licked his lips, wondering how a deep kiss would taste. With his eyes on Ran's lips, he heard himself saying “A hotel, then.”

 

The lips smiled and he felt now-familiar hands tucking him back into his boxers and then setting to work on fastening up his pants and shirt. “Yes. I'll pay the bill, then we're out of here.”

 

“Make sure we get to a good place,” instructed Ryou, his eyes still on Ran's lips. “After all, I'll probably be staying there until I find my own apartment.” Fingers froze in the process of slipping a button into its matched hole, and Ryou's eyes finally lifted to look into Ran's. He saw the question and the hope in them, and he lifted a hand to brush some of Ran's messy hair out of his face. “I don't plan to return to Asuka's place except to pick up my things. But that can wait until tomorrow. Tonight I just want to hold you.”

 

Lips were suddenly crushed against his, and he finally got to taste a deeper kiss. He knew that some people would probably be grossed out tasting themselves on their lover's tongue, but it only made him start to get hot again. At this rate, he was certain that he'd be up for another round or three once they made it to a hotel.

 

-----

 

Ran had parked near the bar, and they decided to take his car to another neighborhood in order to find a hotel. It would be best if they chose a neighborhood where they weren't likely to run into anyone Ryou knew from work. The parking garage housing the Super Seven was only four blocks away, but Ryou was starting to feel like it was ten. He kept glancing at Ran as they walked, their shoulders brushing occasionally. It wasn't fair that he couldn't have his arm around the man, or even hold his hand. The road separating the second and third block was nothing more than a small one-lane alley that didn't even have crossing lights. Glancing around to make sure no one was around to see, Ryou snatched Ran's arm and pulled him into the shadows of the alleyway.

 

The streetlights barely touched the interior of the alley, but Ryou could still see Ran's grin when he pressed the man's back against the wall, pinning him with his own body. Even as he kissed him, Ryou could feel the smile on Ran's lips. There was the scent of rain on the air mixing in with the typical city smells of exhaust, food, and waste. Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him even closer. The kiss intensified. Just when Ryou was starting to wonder if something was going to happen right there in the alley, a voice shattered the moment.

 

“Well well,” it sneered, dark and gritty just like every other cliché thug's voice ever was. Footsteps accompanied the voice, and not just one pair. Ryou turned his head to try to spot them all in the darkness, but he could only make out faint shapes. Judging from the sounds their shoes made, it sounded like maybe five all together. “Look what we have here, boys. We got ourselves a couple of homos.”

 

“Well-dressed homos, boss,” corrected a different shadowy figure, his voice higher and more rat-like.

 

“Yeah, well-dressed homos. With nice clothes like that, surely they can afford to spare some change for us poor boys down on our luck.” The boss was moving as he spoke, walking around to cut the couple off from the opening that led to the street.

 

“I don't know, boss,” snickered another, the lilt of a high tainting his voice, “They just might want us to do somethin' for them in exchange. And I ain't no homo.”

 

“That's very true,” replied the boss as if he was working out a scientific equation, “We don't want to owe these guys any favors, so to speak. But we certainly gotta eat, don't we, boys?” After hearing affirmatives from all the others, the boss stepped closer to the couple and Ryou heard the distinct snick of a switchblade. “Guess we'll just have to extract our money the old fashioned way, eh?”

 

“What ever happened to Tokyo being the safest place on earth?” asked Ryou bitterly as he felt the cool blade of the knife press against the side of his neck.

 

“It still is. The world's just a dangerous fuckin' place, is all,” the boss responded with an amused sneer. “Now, I'll be takin' your wallet.”

 

There was a distant pain as the sharp edge of the blade bit into his skin, then the strange feeling of something deep inside him clicking like a lock into place or two puzzle pieces coming together. The world suddenly went spinning, blurring by in a swirl of shadow and flashing silver. When things came back into focus, he was standing over the fallen boss, the switchblade gripped tightly in his own right hand. Panic clutched at him, and he searched the fallen man as best he could in that darkness with his eyes, finally breathing a sigh of relief when he didn't see any wounds. Somehow he'd just knocked the man out.

 

“Boss! You bastard, what did you do to the boss!?” It was the ratty one yelling, and Ryou heard his footsteps rushing towards him. But they never made it.

 

Turning, Ryou watched in shock as Ran intercepted the man and landed a solid punch to his jaw. The man stumbled back, but managed to shake off any disorientation and charged at Ran. As if snapping out of their own shock, the other men lunged at Ran as well, but he managed to successfully keep them all at bay through punches and kicks. One grabbed a hold of Ran's shirt, drawing back his fist to punch the redhead, but Ran ducked down, bits of his shirt remaining in the man's fist. Before the man could process that he'd only punched air, Ran did a crouching spin kick which sent the man tumbling to his ass. Another man grabbed a broken lead pipe that had been sticking out of a dumpster and made a swing at where Ran was crouched. Dodging just in time, Ran delivered a side kick to the man's knees. The lead pipe fell to the asphalt with a series of clangs, but was quickly retrieved by Ran's fast hands. When Ran stood fully upright again, he brandished the pipe like a sword.

 

The world got dizzy again and Ryou's head hurt. As he stumbled to the wall, the switchblade slipped from his limp fingers and clattered off into a shadow. He braced himself against the wall, facing Ran and the others. But the pain kept spiking randomly, and each time the lead pipe looked less like a pipe and more like a sword. With each sharp pain Ran would look different. No longer was he wearing a torn red shirt, but a long flowing black coat. His hair was different. Shorter. But then it was longer and snaking down his back in a braid. His coat turned white. Everything got blurry, and then he was normal Ran again, shirt barely clinging to his shoulders as he swung the pipe with the grace of the best kendo masters. Something cold hit Ryou's head and it took a few more plops for him to realize it had started to rain.

 

By the time all the men stopped getting back up to fight, the rain was coming down steadily. Ran tossed the pipe away in the dumpster and walked up to Ryou while trying to tug his soaked shirt closed in the front. Too much fabric had been torn off, however, and all Ran could do was clutch at where the pendant was. Ryou stared at Ran's fist where it held the shirt shut and covered the necklace. The pain had dulled and started to fade, but it still lingered there. It was a pain he recognized. He'd felt it back when he was in the hospital, each time he tried to remember something. Dread crept into his stomach and tried to claw its way up to his chest. The little whispery thing in the back of his mind had started to yell at him, but he couldn't make out the words.

 

“Let's go,” Ran commanded softly, reaching a hand out to help Ryou if he needed it.

 

He took the hand and let Ran pull him close, draping one of Ryou's arms over his shoulder as if Ryou was injured and needed help walking. They left the alley and made their way to the garage in silence, only passing one person who was too much in a hurry and too hidden under an umbrella to even notice them. The rest of the street was deserted due to the hour and the rain.

 

Stark florescent lights lit up the parking garage, but it still managed to look dim and unwelcoming. When they made it to the Seven, Ran let Ryou's arm slip from his shoulders and fished in his pocket for the key. One hand always remained clutching his shirt, however. There was a clatter as the keys fell to the concrete, startled out of Ran's wet fingers when Ryou suddenly spun him around. The hand clutching the shirt resisted as Ryou tried to pry it off.

 

“Let go.” The tone in Ryou's voice brooked no argument, and Ran loosened his grip with a resigned frown. Ryou wasn't quite prepared to see what had been hidden.

 

Since the first day they had met, Ryou always noticed that Ran wore a silver necklace. He could always see the chain of it peeking out from under the collar of whatever shirt it was he was wearing. Never before, however, had he seen the charm on the necklace. Never, that is, until that moment. It was of an inverted cross with wings, the word “SIN” overlapping it and made to look like it was formed out of tiny nails. As if not believing it was real, he grabbed it and ran his fingers over it. It was real, though. It was very, very real. His fingers felt something on the back of it, and he flipped it over to see “When you gonna learn?” engraved on the back of the cross. His left shoulder burned where the practically identical tattoo was, and the dread finally managed to make it to his chest where it proceeded to tear into his heart.

 

He slowly let the charm slip from his fingers, his eyes staring blankly at it until he couldn't bear the sight of it anymore. But as his eyes wandered aimlessly lower, they came across something else that stopped him short. Shaking a little, his fingers moved from where the pendant was down to the place just below where Ran's right ribs met his abs. There they traced a thin white scar up at an angle. The muscles beneath his fingers shifted in either alarm or pleasure, and Ryou felt sick. As if to either confirm or disprove his suspicions, he brushed the wet shirt away from where it clung to Ran's left side, searching the area above his hip for the other scar. And there it was, small and mostly round, but with a strange starburst appearance to it that Ryou had on some of his own scars. He traced that scar with his fingers, remembering each of the times he had done the same thing to Asuka's body where no scar resided.

 

His head still hurt, and there was a ringing in his ears that was accompanied by the loud pulsing of his own heart. It was all a lie, he realized. Everything he thought he had with this man was a lie. Of course he couldn't be used as a substitute for Ran's dead lover. He was that dead lover. But why didn't he ever say anything? Why had he been left in the dark and lied to?

 

“Ryou,” Ran eventually gathered the courage to whisper. It was hesitant and cautious, as if he was talking to a frightened animal.

 

Letting out a bitter laugh, Ryou stepped back and glared up at Ran. “Who the fuck are you?” he demanded. “Better yet, who the fuck am I?”

 

__________

To be continued…