Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ I Never Even Told You ❯ Trying To Right Some Of The Wrongs ( Chapter 2 )

I Never Even Told You

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I still don't own Weiß and Baby can I hold you belongs to Tracy Chapman!

Paring : Aya/Ken

Warnings : Shonen-ai, OCC, angst

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts, lyrics or that little voice you hear inside your head sometimes.

Chapter 2. Trying To Right Some Of The Wrongs

Deep in thoughts Aya paced his room. The first thing he would have to do was stop trying to avoid Ken. Easy enough but how would the brunette react to that? Probably not all to well. But if he was going to show Ken how he really felt he would have to risk that. Aya stopped infront of the window and sighed. He shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't have to do this at all. His feelings for the brunette should have been perfectly clear from the very beginning. The redhead shook his head and looked out into the darkness. Hold it right there Fujimiya! the familier voice muttered in his head. I don't believe you sometimes! You're more stubborn than a mule, would you stop hesitating already? If I don't recall this completely wrong you made this mess, ne? Aya winced slightly. Yes he sure had created this mess all by himself. Well then, allow me to use a little saying… You made your bed now lie in it, or even better get the stick out of your ass and remake your bed so that you and Ken can sleep in it together! The redhead gritted his teeth. He never had liked that voice much. It was such a smart ass and it was almost always right, which was extremly annoying.
"Oh shut up!" he muttered out loudly and left the window. The hollow voice seemed to chuckled at him. I haven't said a thing Ayan, I'm all in your head. Aya huffed at that. Why the hell did he have to have an inner voice that was so damn… annoying? Determind to ignore the pesky part of his mind the redhead sat down and frowned deeply. What was he to do? Blurting out that he loved Ken was out of the question and not only because he was certain he wouldn't be able to. He wasn't exactly on the brunette's good side which meant that if he did managed to say those three little words Ken would never believe him and most likely just think Aya was trying to play him again. Why was life so damn difficult? The silent man scowled. His problem was like a knife that cuts both ways. On one hand Ken didn't understand how Aya felt because he couldn't tell him and on the other hand those words could just be a lie. They wouldn't be once the redhead managed to get them out but how was Ken suppose to know that? Frustrated he turned on the radio and sighed. There was some sappy love song playing, he recognized it faintly. A little curious he listend more carefully and struggled to understand the lyrics.

Forgive me
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like forgive me, forgive me

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine

I love you
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like I love you, I love you

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine

That last verse is exactly how it is for me, Aya thought. 'I love you' was all he couldn't say but maybe the answer to his problems lied in the chorus? If he asked Ken if he could hold the brunette then maybe, just maybe he would understand? The redhead snorted at his own stupidity. If he said that Ken would just think he needed him to ease his loneliness. Damn! No, that wouldn't work either. Aya was out of ideas but he refused to give up! He would have to start with trying to become friends with the brunette again, he wanted more of course but at least friendship was better than what he had at the moment. Exhausted from his inner turmoil the redhead fell asleep.

Ken dragged himself out of bed with a grunt. He had barely slept at all but he was used to that by now. Since that awful night two months ago he hadn't been able to relax. It just hurt so much and for some reason the pain refused to ease. That's because I still love him, the brunette commented to himself sadly. He really needed to move on, forget, get over, ignore, whatever as long as he got away from being so hung up on Aya. But that was easier said than done since his heart still belonged to the red haired assassin. Sighing deeply Ken left his room and trotted downstairs to get some breakfast. Look on the bright side Hidaka, he huffed as he headed for the kitchen, at least you have the morning shift with Omi instead of with Him. That was a good thing at least, or so he thought until he saw the root to all his problems standing by the stove, flipping pancakes. Ken's first instinct was to turn around and run away but Aya was faster. The redhead turned around and his amethyst eyes fell on his former lover. There was something strange in those eyes, some kind of… sadness? Ken frowned slightly.
"Good morning Ken," Aya said softly. Huh? Now he was confused, the redhead usually just ignored him and left.
"Eh morning," Ken mumbled and headed for the fridge. He opened the door and searched for the milk.
"It on the table." The brunette winced at the slightly hushed deep smooth voice.
"Huh?"
"The milk, it's on the table." How the hell does he know I was looking for that? Ken grabbed a glass and sat down. To his surprise a plate was put infront of him. Without a word Aya returned to the stove and continued cooking. The brunette glanced at him before turning his eyes back to the plate. Aya had made him pancakes? And not just any pancakes but the thick fluffy american ones he loved so much. This was just too weird. Confused Ken started eating. Why was Aya acting like this all of the sudden? A part of the brunette's mind told him that this was the proof he had been hoping for. Surely the silent redhead must care for him if he was cooking for him again? Ken shook his head. The problem had never been that, he had always known that Aya cared for him but he wanted and needed more than that. If Aya didn't give a shit about him he wouldn't have been treating him so good. What if the redhead just acted nice so that he could get Ken back in his bed? No, Aya isn't like that, the brunette muttered to himself. But then wasn't that what his former lover had been doing before? Using him for sex and company? Aya had never denied that he had been playing with Ken but then again he had never said that that was what had happened either. The brunette was so confused and unsure that he didn't know what to think anymore.

~TBC~